Work Text:
Obi-Wan sat next to the bed.
His Padawan lay silently. Well, his former Padawan. Obi-Wan didn’t know if he would ever truly be able to think of Anakin as anything other than his Padawan, no matter how much time had passed since his Knighting.
Anakin should never be silent Obi-Wan thought. If there was one thing that had defined Anakin ever since he had first met him on that Naboo cruiser was that he never knew when not to talk. It had been a nightmare when he had been trying to teach him diplomacy. He had lost count of the number of diplomatic incidents Obi-Wan had to talk them out of during their apprenticeship just because his Padawan was unable to hold his tongue.
So to be silent. That was something Anakin had never been designed to be.
Yet the room was. Only the beeping of the healers' monitors and the reassuring sound of Anakin's breath signalled that he was not alone.
Obi-Wan tightened his grip on his robes. It was the only thing stopping him from reaching out and grabbing his former Padawans hand.
The news had only just broken about his Padawans injury. Well, not his Padawan. The “Hero with no fear’s” injury. Given that the first he heard about it was the Grand Army of the Republics press release.
He understood why he hadn’t been told directly. He was on the front lines. He needed to focus entirely on the campaign, if they had lost Christosphis it would have been an almost terminal effect on the Republic. It was entirely logical that he was not told in advance.
That did not mean he resented it. Finding out his Padawan was seriously injured, without any details on what those injuries entailed had been torture. He was just happy that he had been due leave anyway. The moment the campaign had allowed him to he was back on Coruscant. He still felt guilty, not that his Padawan knew that he hadn’t been here. He didn’t appear to know anything. There had been no sign of awareness since he was brought into the halls of healing.
Obi-Wan buried his face in his hands. This wasn’t the way things were meant to happen. Padawans were meant to outlive their Masters. He shouldn’t be sat here watching Anakin fight for his life. It should be the other way round. It was not the way things were meant to be.
The door to Anakin's room opened. Obi-Wan sat up expecting to see Master Che walking through. He braced himself for more bad news. The head healer seemed to only ever bring bad news now.
It was not Master Che walking in.
“Senator Amidala. It has been a while.”
The Senator jumped. Her face jumped between multiple expressions. Shock, fear and then resignation.
“Master Kenobi, I wish I was seeing you again under better circumstances.”
“That view is reciprocated.”
They fell into silence. Both staring at Anakin's prone form.
“Has there been any news? She asked.
“Nothing recently. Which I suppose is a good thing.”
“Yes I suppose” she muttered. She was hovering awkwardly around the edge of the room.
“Well, I just wanted to check on him. I grew fond of Knight Skywalker when you were assigned to me and I-“
Obi-Wan threw his head back with a groan. “Do we have to go through this charade Padme?”
Her face froze. “Charade?”
“That you and my former Padawan are just fond acquaintances. I really don’t have the energy to play along with it given the circumstances. I know Padme. You are not particularly subtle.”
“You know?” She asked in a small voice.
“That you and Anakin are in some kind of illicit relationship. Yes I know, normally I have the energy to fain my ignorance given that apparently, my Padawan does not trust me enough to tell me about it but given the circumstances…” he waved at Anakin. “Today I don’t.”
Padme broke eye contact, looking down at her feet. She moved forward, dropping into the seat next to him. She didn’t show the restraint Obi-Wan had, immediately reaching forward to grab Anakin's hand.
She was staring at Anakins face when she spoke. “I never wanted to keep it a secret. Not from you. Anakin didn’t think you’d understand. But I do know Satine Kryze.”
Padme looked back up at him. “I think you’d understand more than he’d realise.”
“The Duchess and I parted because of our duty,” Obi-Wan replied woodenly. “We sacrificed any relationship because of that.”
Padme looked at him far too knowingly. “So you’re saying if Satine hadn’t offered you wouldn’t have continued your relationship. Because that's what I did. I’m the one that started it Obi-Wan. Not him. On Gennosis I decided life was too short. So if you’re going to blame anyone Knight Kenobi, blame me.”
Obi-Wan sighed. “You remind me why you are such a formidable politician Senator.”
She gave him a small smile. “I do hope you do not judge us too much Knight Kenobi.”
“I do not judge you at all. And please Padme, call me Obi-Wan. I think we've all been through enough together to not bother with titles.”
Her smile became bigger, more genuine. “Thank you, Obi-Wan.”
She turned her attention back to Anakin. “Is there any news on when he might wake up?”
Obi-Wan shook his head. “They have only just become confident that he is going to wake up at all.”
Padme’s face crumpled. “I know it was stupid, but I always thought Anakin was invulnerable. He’s always got out of so many unlikely situations. I thought nothing could hurt him. Not seriously. I wasn’t prepared for this.”
Obi-Wan dropped his hand on her shoulder. “I don’t think any of us were. I should… I should have trained him better. If I was a better Master then maybe he’d have been more prepared for this. So he wouldn’t be here. I fear I have failed him.”
Padme fixed him with an unimpressed look. “You don’t actually think that Obi-Wan.”
He remains silent, staring at Anakin. His face was expressionless where it was normally so filled with emotion. His Padawan was never able to play Sabacc, he gave himself away every time. He looked so unnatural like this. And he knew it was probably his fault.
Her expression stuttered. “Oh, you do. You actually do think you’re not good enough.”
“That is because I’m not. Anakin must resent me, he had the least experienced master possible. It was obvious to everyone else it must have been obvious to him.
Padme groaned. “Your relationship is suddenly making so much more sense to me. You are as bad as each other.”
“Wait what?”
“I thought the fact that you two utterly fail to communicate any kind of emotion to each other was just because Anakin didn’t want to talk to you, but now I see that the fact that the lack of communication is just as much on you.”
Obi-Wan choked. “I don’t… what do you… that is preposterous. I’m a Jedi Knight, I understand my emotions. That is half the point.”
“You may understand them but you do not express them, Obi-Wan. You’re sat here clearly worried about Anakin Obi-Wan, yet he doesn’t think you care about him at all. I thought it was just on him, that he refused to see it. But now I can see it's on you too. You’ve not failed him in training him, Obi-Wan. But you are failing him by letting him think you don’t care, and you’re failing yourself by hiding that.”
Obi-Wan just stared at her.
"I'm not saying break all of your orders rules Obi-Wan. But to hear Anakin talk about you it is as if any relationship you ever had ended at his Knighting. I imagine that's more his own problems talking, but by the sounds of it, there has been a two-way communication failure here.
Padme’s datapad started beeping. She groaned.
“I have to return to the Senate. Think about it Obi-Wan, you’re not helping yourself living like this.”
She left Obi-Wan to his thoughts.
He sat, staring at Anakin's prone form. Maybe the senator was right. He had never been explicit about the fact he cared for Anakin. Maybe it was true that his Padawan thought he didn’t care.
He’d change he decided. If Anakin woke up. No, When Anakin woke up, he’d change. He’d tell him that he cared. Maybe then they could re-open this communication block between them. He’d been letting his hang-ups colour their relationship for too long. He’d be better.
He let go of his robe and grabbed hold of Anakin's hand. He was going to change.
He squeezed the hand.
He was sure he felt Anakin squeeze back.