Work Text:
They dont care about us.
Adults are a different species to children and teenagers, they are aliens, so close yet so far away,
These creatures, these beings of not nature, not us we say, we will never be them and them us, we cannot, it is not living not being, not us
These awful not-beings with their eyes peering down at us, seemingly overlooming and tall and greater than all we will ever be
They speak in incomprehensible tongue, yet we nod and report as willed anyway, we remember what they teacher until the clock strikes twelve of which we forget it all and hope they dont hurt us the next day
As we grow older we see, we see they are human just as us, theyve lived as us before, they are not as looming as we make them to be me and with practice we shoukdnt need they arent all seeing as we thought
But i cant help but to resent
Because i get it “easier” they should berate me?
Isnt that for the better good? Why would you want life harder for the new generations, fucking scumbags?
Even as i sit here, searching up the best classes to learn in for the career i have yet to decide, i still wonder and think if any of it is really worth it at all. If im going to be treated like shit by “adults”, why let them succeed in manhandeling and modeling me into the perfect scholar?
They want me to write college level essays before taking therapy
They want me to focus on the future thay weighs on my shoulders instead of focusing on my sanity
They expect me to comply and submit to their rules instead of focusing on how to make them better for everyone involved
I hate them, i want to learn to be better than them but how can i be better than them when i have to learn from them?
I am codependent on the school and they know of it
They talk of the “real world” as if im not already living in it
Is highschool fake?
Is my cognitive decreasing all a ruse? Are my panic attacks and screaming for help, for anyone to get me out of this hellhole of an earth of a place of a school, are they all a prank seen by no one?
Am i not too living in the same world as you?
Where am i if not the world right now.
What is the world if not real in your eyes?
Last week i was told “this is what adulthood looks like”
From a middle aged man, holding a coffeecup whereas i hold a slurpee from seven eleven.
There is nothing stopping him from getting a slurpee
So where does adulthood start and childhood end? Does my childhood end when i stop getting slurpees? When i look at another younger and laugh, telling them “this is what adulthood looks like”?
It doesnt have to be like this
We are child soldiers in a world who wont look back on us .
We are adults before kids, and we are children before scholars. We want to live happy and laugh with friends without the world peering on us.
We cant live like this.
They hate us.
And we hate them back.