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“Vishante kaffas, woman. You’ve reopened the wound. Keep this up, and I’ll just let you heal naturally. You’d deserve the nasty scar for your wanton disregard of the work we’ve poured into mending you. Unless of course, you did that fooling around with your Commander in which case I fully approve.” Cullen felt his ears turn red at the Tevinter’s suggestion. He had been in the stairwell eavesdropping on the conversation hoping to gauge Evelyn’s mood before announcing his presence. Mornings were always dicey with the Inquisitor - especially since she had been confined to bed to recover from an injury.
Evelyn just growled at Dorian. Not a good morning. Cullen thought thankful that he came prepared with a tray of food and her favorite tea. Offerings to soothe the savage beast.. he mused glad that Cole wasn’t around to betray his thoughts.
“Good morning, Inquisitor. Dorian.” Cullen said in a chipper voice. “I’ve brought breakfast. What’s this about your wound? It looked better when I bandaged it last night.”
Evelyn’s eyes threw daggers at him. At least it wasn’t a frost spell. Cullen ignored her glare and placed the tray beside her. Her eyes softened at the sight of her favorite pastry and the licorice sticks he had added on a whim. A cup of tea and half a pastry, and she’ll be back to herself. Not that bad of a morning.
“So you still haven’t shared how you did that ... ” Dorian pressed while gesturing at the bloodied dressings on her chest. He has more balls or less sense than me. Cullen thought.
Evelyn took a long sip from her tea cup and seethed, “A new maid came in last night to tidy the room. She didn’t put things back in the right place after she dusted. It was making me miserable. I had to fix it, or I couldn’t have slept at all.”
Dorian let out a hoarse guffaw. “Festis bel umo canavarum. You are truly the most neurotic person I’ve ever known. Commander, we shall have to keep this a secret. If Corypheus knew her particular weakness, he could take down the Inquisition just by placing her in a room of books that weren’t in alphabetical order.”
Cullen bit the inside of his cheek trying to keep from laughing. Dorian would be finished with his healing session in a few minutes, but he had to spend the next several hours with Evelyn as the war council would be meeting in her room. He needn’t have stiffled his reaction. Evelyn started snickering, then cursing the pain the laughter brought, then chuckling some more. “Andraste’s flaming ass, Dorian. You’ve made me laugh. And it ... ow.... hurts, you big old fop.” Evelyn barked out between giggles and gasps.
“Laughter is the best medicine.” Dorian said with devilish swagger. “My work here is done. Please try to leave it intact, Inquisitor. Vitae benefaria.”
“Before the council meets, I wanted to bring something to your attention, Inquisitor.” Cullen always used her title when discussing official business. “Dagna has been working with the red lyrium samples you brought trying to find a weakness in Samson’s armor. She needs more details on the armor, however. We found orders in the mine. They mention Maddox. A name I didn’t expect to hear.”
“Another voice from your past?”
Cullen hesitated. He knew both Samson and Maddox from his time spent as a templar in Kirkwall. Knight Commander Meredith, the leader of Kirkwall’s templars, was harsh with punishments, and her treatment of Maddox and Samson was no exception. Samson had been expelled from the order for ferrying love letters between Maddox and his girlfriend - a barmaid at the Hanged Man. As a mage, Maddox was not permitted to pursue romantic relationships - particularly not with a normal person. Meredith had made Maddox tranquil for his indiscretion. The official charge against Maddox was “corrupting the moral integrity of a templar”, but the message Meredith sent when administering the brand was that mages were not worthy or allowed to love.
Cullen resisted the urge to gloss over the truth and shared the entirety of the story with Evelyn. She looked so sad and disappointed. Cullen couldn’t blame her. He was disgusted by the man he had been at that point in his life. One that had seen mages as less than human. True he had been unaware of some of the most egregious violations that occurred in Kirkwall, but he had fully supported Maddox’s sentence. He had reasoned that mages with long term lovers were particularly prone to escape attempts. It was for Maddox own safety, and the safety of the community in general that the mage be stripped of all emotion. Besides once the brand was applied, it wouldn’t be as if Maddox would remember or care about what had been taken from him.
Revisiting the twisted logic that governed his choices in Kirkwall, Cullen fought the urge to vomit. Looking at Evelyn, this magnificent woman that he loved with all his being, he wondered if she would have survived intact under his “protection” in Kirkwall. He thanked the Maker that he had never known her in those days.
“After Maddox was made tranquil, he became a skilled craftsman of magical items. Samson must have... rescued him.”
Evelyn didn’t need to ask why Maddox would have required rescue. When circles fell, the tranquil fared the worst. Most mages wanted nothing to do with them as their presence served as a constant reminder of a punishment worse than death. Templars saw the tranquil as inconveniences or servants at best. The cruelest members of the order enjoyed abusing and raping tranquil knowing they had no means of defense. Largely neglected once the mage-templar war heated up, hundreds of tranquil had been rounded up and ritualistically killed by the Venatori. Their skulls dotted southern Thedas - set up on stakes they served as enchanted spy glasses called ocularia.
Samson had enough humanity - or cunning- to save Maddox from such a fate. In turn, Maddox created and maintained Samson’s armor. Evelyn listened to Cullen’s suggestion about tracing the rare and expensive items that would be required for such enchanting. She agreed Cullen’s men should follow the lead and stifled the urge to lash out a Cullen for the part he played in Maddox’s fate. From the look on his face as he relayed the story, Cullen was already flagellating himself. She didn’t want to heap more condemnation on him for something that couldn’t be changed. They both had their pasts, and they were both trying to be better people than they had been.
Evelyn hoped the war council meeting itself would be less emotionally draining, but it was not. She had been away or too injured to attend the meetings for nearly two months. There was an incredible backlog of reports and updates to hear, but that was not the most pressing issue. Blackwall had left Skyhold shortly after they returned from Sahrnia. Her advisors had chosen not to tell her about his disappearance until they knew more of its origin. They had been particularly concerned that he had fallen victim to Corypheus‘ false calling. The truth behind his departure was even more troubling. Blackwall had been lying about his identity. He was never a Grey Warden and was instead an infamous Orleasian commander that had ordered his men to massacre a general and his entire family - including children.
Evelyn closed her eyes tightly when she heard this news. It was nearly impossible to reconcile the man she knew with the monster described in Leliana’s report. The Blackwall she knew was fearless and selfless in battle. He had taken innumerable blows to protect her. His resolve and determination had inspired her. He had a clear cut morality that never faltered. How could that man also be Thom Rainier - a commander that ordered a bloodbath and then fled leaving his men to take the punishment he deserved?
Each of her advisors laid out their opinions on Blackwall and offered options for his release if the Inquisitor felt it warranted. Evelyn was too upset to even eat her licorice while they droned on. Josephine was still outlining their diplomatic options when Evelyn held up a hand. “Whatever we do, if we chose to free him it can’t be directly linked to the Inquisition. Rainier is too despised in Orlais. We can’t be seen as openly favoring someone that has committed such atrocities. Leliana, I have contacts from my time with the Mages Collective that could perhaps be used as intermediaries. There are plenty of mercenaries and guilds that know how to be discrete. Let my contacts whisper offers in the right circles. Someone will want the coin.”
All three of her advisors looked stunned, but Leliana recovered quickly. “You play the Game like you were born to it. This is a sensible option. I will see it done.”
Evelyn figured Leliana already knew about her ties to the collective. It was an amorphous alliance of circle mages and apostates that worked outside of Chantry laws. Mages could make requests of the shadow guild that might have drawn too much scrutiny if normal channels were used. As such, the Collective’s activities were not strictly legal and were very lucrative. Prior to the Mage-Templar war, the guild’s activities revolved around smuggling, bribery, and retribution. During the war, the group had become more militant. The clandestine and autonomous nature of the guild made it an incredibly effective force of resistance. Small cells had taken out large numbers of templars in guerrilla attacks. Whether one viewed them as terrorists or freedom fighters depended on which side you favored.
We both have our pasts. Evelyn thought as she saw Cullen struggling with her disclosure. She wasn’t surprised when he hung back when the meeting finally ended.
“The Mages’ Collective - you, really?” he asked with what could be interpreted as a mixture of disdain and admiration.
“Did you think I learned to fight as I do in a Circle, Cullen?”
“But they’re terrorists... butchers...”
“The same could be said of many templars.”
Cullen paced around the room. “That abomination Anders started the war when he blew up Kirkwall’s Chantry. We found evidence of the Collective’s involvement in procuring the chemicals he used. You can’t have supported that...”
“Not the action itself, but the idea behind it. Too many innocent people were killed in the explosion and its aftermath. I would have taken a more surgical approach.”
“A more surgical approach? What does that even mean?” he asked amazed the cruel calm of her voice.
Evelyn desperately wanted to change the subject, but this particular part of her past was refusing to stay behind her well built defenses. She let out a deep breath and whispered, “I would have targeted the templar quarters in the Gallows.”
Cullen looked like she had slapped him. “I guess I should count myself fortunate that Anders was calling the shots.” he spewed venomously.
Evelyn felt tears coming to her eyes. So this would be how she lost him... their relationship just another casualty of the mage-templar war. It wasn’t in her nature to go down without a fight, so she struggled to get out of bed. She needed to touch him, make him see that he wasn’t the only one tormented by past choices.
“What are you doing?” he bellowed. “You’ll reopen your wound.”
“I don’t want to lose you. There are many things in my past that I’ve done or didn’t do that haunt me. But choosing to love you is not one of them. Please don’t leave me over this.”
Cullen looked genuinely confused and then his face softened, “You think you can get rid of me because of one argument? You’ll have to try much harder than that.” He took Evelyn around the waist carefully avoiding her wound and put her back in bed. “I’ll admit learning you were part of a terrorist group is a shock. And after what you said about the templar quarters, I know never to get on your bad side. But from a purely strategic point of view, I agree they would have been a much better target.”
Evelyn knew she should probably let it drop, but she wasn’t one to back down. “Not terrorists - freedom fighters.” she said firmly.
“Right. Well, maybe we can agree to disagree on that one.” Cullen said and then gave her a gentle kiss.