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Evelyn sat on a bench in Skyhold’s gardens drinking in the sunlight. It felt glorious to be out of her room and in the open air. Being confined to a sickbed for the past fortnight had made her miserable. She hated feeling vulnerable and loathed asking for help. Even worse was that she had dredged up a putrid mess of tangled emotions when she revealed her activities during the mage rebellion. Some memories are best left to rot. Physical vulnerability was one thing, but as leader of the Inquisition she did not have time to deal with her emotional weaknesses. She needed to get stronger and get back to work. Too much time to think would make her insane.
Getting antsy from setting still even in the lovely sunlight, Evelyn hopped off the bench and returned to the keep. She’d head down to the undercroft and check on the progress Dagna and Harritt had made on her new armor. The battle with Imshael had wrecked her last gear. Maybe I should have taken the power or virgins he offered rather than fighting him... No, nothing good comes from a bargain with a demon even if he prefers the moniker “choice spirit.”
Evelyn’s mood improved when she saw how her armor was coming along. Dagna cheerfully outlined the enhancements and enchantments she had made while Harritt beamed showing off his handiwork. After giving her approval of the progress they had made, Evelyn spent several hours crafting potions and chatting with Dagna and Harritt. The methodical alchemical work did wonders for her nerves, and she felt much more centered when she exited the undercroft.
A gravelly voice called out to her, “There you are - we were about to get started without you.”
Evelyn didn’t want to admit that she had no idea what Varric was talking about, so she played along. “Well, we can’t have that now. Can we?”
He escorted her to the tavern and a table filled with the majority of her inner circle and advisors. The group must have been there waiting for her for quite awhile. Everyone appeared happily drunk - except Sera. Sera was passed out on the floor underneath the table. Lightweight.
As Evelyn sat down to join the game, Cullen stood up and tried to excuse himself. “You seem to have enough people. I have a thousand things to do.” Evelyn grew concerned that he was trying to avoid her. Things had felt uneasy between them, since her active role in the mage rebellion came to light. Varric and Dorian were able to cajole him into remaining. Maybe I’m overthinking things. He is as addicted to work as he ever was lyrium. Evelyn thought while chewing her lip.
Josephine was acting as the dealer and claiming she was an inexperienced player. Evelyn had spent enough time with Antivans to know that was about as likely as a man being named the next Divine. In Evelyn’s experience, Antivans loved flowery poetry, fine wines, quality leather, political assassinations, and card games in equal measure. She made a note to watch Josephine carefully. Cassandra, on the other hand, did not appear to be lying when she confessed her difficulty remembering the rules. Cassandra wore her emotions openly. She would be flat broke if she played games requiring bluffs with any regularity.
After a few rounds of cards and ale, everyone seemed chattier and more relaxed. Cullen, in particular, was more talkative than normal. He told a story about a templar recruit that reported to morning roll call in nothing but his small clothes that had everyone in stitches. From the vivid details he included in the tale, Evelyn wondered if maybe he had been that recruit. If that were the case, Evelyn wished she had been in the audience. She had yet to see Cullen in anything less than a shirt and trousers - a fact that was beginning to get quite frustrating.
Dorian must have picked up on her thoughts when he commented, “Thinking about that view, Inquisitor? You don’t want to make your Commander jealous getting all glassy eyed imagining some other young templar.”
“What... no, I wasn’t.” Evelyn stuttered at how close Dorian’s guess had come to her actual thoughts. “I was just thinking of a story of my own...”
“Well, out with it then, Boss. Don’t leave us hanging.” Bull chimed in.
Shit. Shit. Shit. Evelyn’s mind whirred for something, anything that she could relate. Then it dawned on her - she’d tell them about her harrowing. That tale was kept under lock and key in the Ostwick Circle.
“It was the night of my harrowing, and as the templars came to take me away I couldn’t shake the feeling that I had forgotten something. Before you undertake the ritual, you are allowed to change into your robes and pray in the chapel if you desire. As I got dressed, I should have been thinking about the lessons I had been taught or praying for the Maker’s blessing. Instead, I was running down a mental checklist of everything I had done or was supposed to do that day. You no doubt know by now that I am a bit particular...”
“Particular? Is that what they call being a tight ass in Ostwick, Bright Eyes?” Varric interrupted Evelyn’s story.
Evelyn glared at him but continued, “I still couldn’t figure out what I had forgotten. I made it to the chapel, went through the motions of a prayer, received a blessing from the revered mother, and then trailed the templars through the corridors leading to the harrowing chamber. But I wasn’t paying attention to the fact that I would be facing a demon in the next few minutes. Something had slipped my mind. Something wasn’t right, and I would be damned if I couldn’t figure out what it was.”
“Do you have any idea how dangerous your inattention was?” Cullen asked pointedly.
“Do you mean was I aware at the time I was putting myself at increased risk of possession? Yes, I realize that now. At the time, I was more bothered by the niggling sensation there was something I should have done but hadn’t.” Evelyn explained. Cullen responded by putting his head in his hands and rubbing his temples vigorously.
“Commander, don’t worry. I passed.” Evelyn kidded.
Cullen looked up and rolled his eyes. “You don’t say.”
“The First Enchanter and Knight Commander were in the center of the room. There was a cloth and a bowl of lyrium laid on the floor in front of them. A ring of templars surrounded the chamber. Kevin was standing to the right of the cloth with his sword drawn.”
Cullen interrupted, “They expected him to deliver the killing blow if necessary. Did they suspect something about you two?”
“You mean Cullen wasn’t your first templar? You are a little vixen.” Dorian needled.
“We weren’t together then. He may have had a crush on me, but it was several years later before we became involved.” Evelyn said hesitantly while keeping her eyes on her flagon. After a pause, she looked at Cullen directly and asked, “His superiors wouldn’t have really singled him out for that duty had they known - would they have?”
“Absolutely.” Cullen and Cassandra answered in unison.
“Damn. And I thought Ben-Hassrath played mind games.” Bull remarked.
“Anyway... the idea behind a harrowing is that an apprentice mage enters the Fade to face a demon specifically summoned to tempt them. It is a pass/fail test. Either you resist the demon, slay it, and survive or fall to temptation, become an abomination, and are killed by the templars. So I sit down cross legged on the cloth, close my eyes, and begin to inhale the lyrium vapors, directing my mind toward the Fade while still trying to remember what the hell it was I had forgotten to do.”
“Just as I inhale the last of the vapors, a handsome man in Grey Warden armor enters the chamber and demands that he be allowed to conscript me. The templars put up a ruckus about interrupting the ritual, but I’m too busy trying to remember what it is that I forgot to do to respond. And then I remember... I hadn’t closed the door to the rabbit cages in the laboratory. If I didn’t get down there and get the bunnies separated, we’d be knee deep in rabbit kits in a few weeks. I pop up from my spot on the chamber floor, but the Grey Warden tries to stop me from leaving. He is, of course, a demon - not a warden. I quickly dispatch him using a freezing spell and the sword I pull from Kevin’s hand.”
“My mind returns from the Fade to my physical body. The false images of a harrowing chamber, templars, and the demon corpse disappear. I am back in the real harrowing chamber still sitting on that cloth, surrounded by real templars. Kevin is holding his very real sword at the ready when I look up at him and exclaim, “I forgot to close the doors to the rabbit cages.”
“It was the fastest harrowing in the Ostwick Circle’s history. I had spent less than 10 seconds in the Fade before I emerged. There was some debate as to whether I had actually even had time to be tempted, but the First Enchanter and Knight Commander listened to my story and agreed I had passed. Nonetheless, they were concerned that others might question my harrowing's validity as well as their decision to accept it, so the records were kept under lock and key.”
“What happened to the rabbits?” Cole asked innocently.
“Oh, they were fine. The templars even helped me round them up. We did have a baby rabbit boom a few weeks later, though.”
Everyone at the table laughed at Evelyn’s story. Josephine went so far as to call it scandalous which Evelyn felt was a stretch, but she guessed her botched harrowing might raise eyebrows among more traditional allies.
Josephine began to deal another round when Evelyn noticed she was palming cards. So she is a typical Antivan... Evelyn sat out that round under the pretense of needing to visit the privy. Before the next game could be dealt, Evelyn asked Josephine to help her get some drinks from the bar.
“I see that you’ve been increasing your chances of winning, Ambassador. I have a proposal.” Evelyn whispered to Josephine.
“I’m not sure I understand your meaning, Inquisitor, but please go ahead with your offer.” Josephine answered cagily.
“The Commander is a particularly stubborn man. I heard him say that he had figured out your tells. As long as you are dealing, he has no chance of winning.” Evelyn continued.
“That could be a conclusion one might reach.” Josephine replied evenly.
“He is nearly out of coin. Let him bet his armor to stay in the game, and I’ll keep quiet about your propensity to keep the best cards for yourself.” Evelyn offered.
Josephine grinned conspiratorially. “I will do my best, Inquisitor. Might I suggest that you continue to play to avoid suspicion.”
“Agreed - on the condition that I get his gear at the end of the night.”
Before long, Cullen had lost his mantle and armor to the wily Antivan. Evelyn would have stopped the game there, but Josephine was like a shark that smelled blood in the water. Cullen, out of hubris or drunkenness, persisted in challenging Josephine in hopes of winning back his things. He proceeded to lose his shirt, boots, and socks. When Cullen bet his trousers, Evelyn felt a small twinge of conscience at allowing the ruse to continue, but she was so enjoying the view his losing streak was providing that she kept quiet.
Cullen, of course, lost his pants to Josephine. Evelyn declared that it was time to call it a night, but everyone else encouraged Cullen to go for broke. Hoping to give him a better chance of winning, Evelyn offered to deal the last round. Even without cheating, Josephine was the better bluffer and won the pot and with it Cullen’s smalls.
Most of the players left the table before a naked Cullen rose and made a mad dash to his quarters. Evelyn caught a faint glimpse of Cullen as he streaked past her to reach the tavern stairs. She spoke briefly to Varric before collecting Cullen’s clothing and armor which Josephine had left as agreed. Evelyn moved slowly toward Cullen’s office. She wanted to give him time to regain a little dignity and maybe put on some pants before she visited.
She knocked on the door to his office, and he shouted, “Go away!”
Evelyn replied through the door that she had his things. He opened the door looking particularly rattled and raised an eyebrow as she handed over the pile of items. Evelyn peeked at him as she entered the room and was relieved that he had donned another pair of pants. He was otherwise undressed - something she found most pleasing.
Cullen immediately started sorting through the pile while proclaiming, “I’m never playing cards again.” He started meticulously hanging the armor on its stand and then continued scrounging through the remaining items. “I still can’t find my...”
“You mean these?” Evelyn said while holding up his small clothes.
Looking like he might faint, Cullen snatched them from her hands and quickly tossed them out of sight. “I don’t know how Varric talked me into playing. It won’t happen again.”
“That’s too bad. Watching you lose made me want to play cards more often.” Evelyn teased while moving closer to him.
“I do not need help embarrassing myself in front of you.” he said with his arms firmly crossed against his chest.
Putting a hand on his upper arm, Evelyn retorted, “You were blushing. It was adorable.”
“Maker’s breath” was Cullen’s exasperated response.
Evelyn laughed while she caressed his face. His expression became less tense and more tender. His voice was hoarse when he asked, “Stay with me tonight?”
She nodded and leaned into him as he pulled her into a tight embrace. Cullen whispered as he placed his forehead to hers “I have been so worried about you. I nearly lost you again. And now you’re getting better which is wonderful, but that also means that you’ll be leaving soon and getting into more trouble. I’m not going to ask you to be careful that doesn’t seem to work. Just please come back to me.”
Evelyn was feeling too emotional to speak, so she just nodded again and gave him a soft kiss on the lips.
Cullen let out a breath he didn’t even realize he’d been holding. “Come on. Let’s go to bed. I think we’re both too drunk to do much more than sleep, but it will feel good to just hold you.”