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~~~~~
“Jeffrey was right about you. You’re a terrible mother,” Harry shouted at Athena.
Before she even realized what was happening, Athena struck her son across his chin with the back of her hand.
Time appeared to stop. Michael, May and Bobby stood silently in shock. Athena sat motionless on the couch, not believing what she had just done. Harry got up from where he was sitting and ran into May’s bedroom, slamming the door behind him.
Athena got up and began to follow Harry. She needed to apologize to her son. Before she could reach the door May stopped her and said, “No, Mom, don’t go in there.”
Athena responded, “I need to talk to him. I need to tell him I’m sorry.”
“Yeah, you do. But not now…”
Michael interjected, “I’ll talk to him.”
“No. I’ll talk to him. He holds you guys responsible for what happened,” May replied as she walked to her room. “Just wait out here.” May opened the bedroom door and walked in, closing the door behind her.
~~~~~
Back in the living room the three adults stared quietly at each other, no one knowing what to say. After a few uncomfortable moments, Michael broke the silence. “Athena, how in the hell could you do that? You know what Harry’s been through. What were you thinking?”
“Michael, stop it. I feel horrible. I don’t need you piling on. I know what I did.”
Michael responded raising his voice, “Do you? That animal was loose on the streets for four days and you didn’t think to tell us?”
Athena glared at her ex-husband. “Are you serious? First of all, I thought Lou had him back in custody. I didn’t know he escaped…”
“And when you found out, you didn’t tell anyone!”
“I was trying to track him down! There was a blackout, which you might not have realized because you were in my home having a party. You were so busy entertaining your guests that you didn’t notice Hudson stroll in and walk out with our son! What possessed you to have a damn party in my home? You were a guest. This isn’t your home anymore…”
“Seriously, Athena?”
“Yeah, seriously. You had no right to let the entire neighborhood wander through my house. If you had been paying attention, your son would have been safe.”
Bobby tried to to lower the temperature in the room. “Hey, let’s all try to calm down. This isn’t helping anything. Harry doesn’t need you two fighting.”
“Back off, Bobby. This doesn’t concern you,” Michael angrily spat back.
“Really, Michael? This doesn’t concern me?”
“He’s my son, not yours.”
“Michael! What the hell are you saying?” Athena angrily interjected. “This concerns Bobby as much as anyone. He’s my husband and the kids’ stepdad. You need to apologize to him. Now.”
“It’s fine Athena. I don’t need an apology,” Bobby told his wife. “We’re all stressed right now.” He couldn’t help but think about the last time he and Michael had an argument about Harry. He thought that issue was in the past but maybe it wasn’t.
Bobby walked over to Athena and pulled her into an embrace. The couple stood there together holding onto each other while Michael stewed in the corner by himself. The silence was broken by the ringing of Michael’s cellphone. “It’s David. I’m going to take this outside,” Michael said as he walked out of the front door of the apartment.
Finally alone, Bobby asked his wife, “Are you okay?”
“No, I’m not. I hit my son. I don’t know why I did that. Bobby, why did I do that?” Athena looked at her husband with tears streaming down her face.
“I don’t know, babe.” Bobby tried to think of some comforting words but realized it would be futile. Nothing he could say would ease Athena’s pain right now. But he tried, “I know this has been an impossible time for you. The person who nearly beat you to death kidnapped your son. He wanted to hurt you in the worst way possible. And he did. And he’s still doing it. I think both of you are having extreme reactions to your traumas. Harry knows you’re a good mom…”
“No, he doesn’t…”
“He does, Athena. What other 12 year old has a picture of his mom on his phone’s Lock Screen?”
“Well…”
“Exactly. Harry loves you. He’s just angry right now. He went through a traumatic experience that no one should have to endure. He’s lashing out.”
Athena sighed. “That explains his reaction but not mine. He’ll never forgive me.”
“He will. I know he will. It will just take some time.”
“Promise?”
“I promise. Has his therapist suggested group sessions? That might help.”
“She did. She just wanted to work with Harry alone to start with. Maybe we need to accelerate to family sessions.”
“Probably a good idea…”
Their conversation was interrupted as Michael walked back in the room. Bobby asked, “How’s David?”
“He’s fine. Look, Bobby. You don’t need to pretend to care…”
“I’m not pretending, just…”
The sound of the bedroom door opening interrupted the discussion and tense atmosphere. May looked at Bobby, “Harry wants to see you.”
Bobby was surprised, “Me?”
“Yeah, you’re the only one he doesn’t blame for any of this. He wants to talk to you.”
Bobby looked at his wife who gave him a small smile and nodded, “Go. Talk to him.”
Michael moved to stand between Bobby and the bedroom door. “No, you do not get to talk to my son. That’s my job.”
“This again?” Bobby was incredulous. “I told you before that I don’t want to come between a parent and his child. Nothing has changed. But right now your son wants to talk to me and I’m going to do it. Please move out of my way.”
Athena looked at Michael, “Let Bobby go in. Our son wants to talk to his stepfather. Be glad he is not shutting out all of us.” She turned to Bobby and said, “Go in. Talk to him.”
Bobby walked around Michael and knocked on the door, “Harry?”
~~~~~
As the minutes ticked by, Bobby sat on the edge of the bed while Harry silently cried into a pillow. Bobby periodically rubbed his stepson’s back while he encouraged him to talk when he was ready.
Harry slowly got up and announced, “I’m hungry. Can we go get something to eat?”
“Absolutely,” Bobby said as he sat up and walked to the door. “Where do you want to go?”
“That diner near the fire house? They’re good.”
Athena, May and Michael were surprised to see Bobby and Harry leave the room so soon.
Harry kept his head down as Bobby announced, “We’re going to get something to eat. I’ll let you know where we go after that.”
Athena smiled at her husband, “That sounds great.” She then turned to her ex, “Right, Michael?”
Michael responded, “Sure, whatever.”
Bobby looked at Harry. “You ready? Let’s go.”
~~~~~
Bobby and Harry walked into the Astro diner and were seated at a booth in the back. Harry ordered a grilled cheese and fries while Bobby got a BLT and chips.
As they ate their meals Bobby and Harry engaged in light conversation about school, weather and if the Dodgers would repeat as World Series champions. After a lull in the conversation, Harry asked his stepdad, “Are you mad at me? For yelling at Mom?”
“No, of course not.”
“Are you’re mad at her? For what she did?”
Bobby shook his head, “No. I’m not mad. But I am concerned about her. I am worried about both of you.”
“But she hit…”
“I know. I know what she…”
The conversation paused as a waitress dropped off the check. Bobby looked at Harry, “Let’s go pay this and get some milkshakes to go and find some place where we can really talk. Okay?”
“Okay.”
Bobby paid for their meals and milkshakes and they left. “Where to, Harry?”
“Garfield Park?”
“Great idea. Let’s go.”
~~~~~
Bobby sat at the picnic table as Harry walked off to throw the empty milkshake cups in the trash. He shot off a quick text to Athena updating her on their day. He closed his phone as Harry walked back.
“Was that Mom?”
“Yep. Letting her know where we are.”
“Like she cares.”
“Harry, that’s not fair. She does care.“
“No, she doesn’t.”
“Can you tell me why you think that?”
Harry thought for a moment. “She let that man escape and wasn’t there when he took me and then instead of trying to save me she went after him.”
Bobby was confused, “Harry, she was always trying to save you…”
“No, Jeffrey told me that Mom could either go after him or come find me and she went after him. She didn’t care.”
“Harry, she did everything she could to try to find you.”
“No, Bobby. Jeffrey said this was Mom’s fault and she could either find him or me. She went after him.”
Bobby sighed. There’s a lot Harry didn’t know about Hudson and what he did to his mother.
“Harry, listen to me. I’m going to tell you some things about your mom and what happened last year and what she’s been through…”
“I know what happened. She got hurt and broke her arm.”
“It was more than that. He almost killed her.” Harry looked surprised. He didn’t know that. “If your Mom hadn’t been able to grab her gun, shoot him and cuff him to a pipe, she would have died. I actually thought she was dead and that we’d lost her. I heard the shot go off over the radio and when we got there she was unconscious. You and your sister don’t know this because your parents and I thought that it would be too much for you to handle. All you needed to know was that your Mom was hurt and would get better. And she did. But it wasn’t that easy.”
“What do you mean?”
“Physically, she healed fine. The bruises, cuts and her broken arm. They all healed. But she was also injured in other ways that you couldn’t see. She lost her confidence in her ability to do her job. She wasn’t sure if she could trust her gut anymore. What makes your Mom a great cop is her confidence in herself, her instincts, her training and her experience. When she got hurt and how she got hurt, that caused her to be unsure of herself.”
“How she got hurt?”
“Hudson attacked her from behind when she was calling in for backup. She never saw him coming.”
“Oh.”
“So while she was healing at home, she was also talking to a therapist. Then the lockdowns began and we sent you to live with your Dad. She felt isolated and alone in the house all by herself.”
“But May was still there and you…”
“True. But May had her new job at the call center and I had my 24 and 48 hour shifts so your Mom had to spend a lot of time alone. She missed not having you there. You had your Zoom calls and she loved those but it wasn’t the same as having her baby with her.”
“I’m not a baby.”
Bobby smiled, “You’ll always be her baby.”
Harry rolled his eyes and let out a little smile.
“Then at the end of the summer, she was medically cleared to go back to work. I wasn’t sure she was mentally ready but she assured me that she was and that she needed to get back out there. But it was supposed to be desk duty and then on her first day back…”
“The landslide happened.”
“Yeah. And she was forced back into action early. But even though she had a rough first day, being back out there helped her get her confidence back. I still thought it was too soon and so did May and your dad, but your mother didn’t think it was too soon. She had to get back out there.”
Bobby decided not to tell his stepson about the other way Athena dealt with the assault - by shutting down and not telling him about decisions she made. He also decided not to mention his own way of dealing with that. Harry didn’t need to know about how close their marriage came to imploding.
“Look, Harry. Your mother went through a lot with that man. It took her a long time to get herself back to being 100% as a cop. But she’s out there doing her job, not feeling like a victim. And that brings us to what happened with you.”
“I don’t understand.”
“When the blackout happened and the police realized Hudson had escaped, your mom’s first priority was making sure his victims were safe and protected, so she got police stationed outside all of their homes. She was sure that Hudson would try to contact one of those women.”
“But she didn’t send anyone to our house.”
“Right. She didn’t. It wasn't until she talked to her friend Detective Ransone that she remembered that she was also one of Hudson’s victims and that he would probably target her. She was so focused on protecting the other women that she forgot about herself. As soon as she realized it, she raced home and she called me at the station and I came home too. But you were already gone.”
“What do you mean she forgot she was a victim? How…”
Bobby was silent for a moment, trying to figure out a delicate way of explaining it to Harry. “Well, the other women that Hudson hurt, he hurt them in a different way than your mom. She was one of the police officers trying to track him down. And when she was injured, it happened on the job. In the line of duty. She never considered herself a victim in the same way the other women were. Does that make sense?”
“I think so.”
“OK. That’s why she wasn’t worried that Hudson might try to come after her. And that was a mistake. But once she realized that she did everything in her power to protect her family, to protect us. But we were too late. He’d already taken you.”
“Because Dad let him in.”
“It’s not your Dad’s fault, either. But, yeah, it was way too easy to get in the house.”
“Jeffrey told me when he took me that it wasn’t my fault or his fault. It was Mom’s. What did he mean? Do you know?”
Bobby did but he wasn’t sure how to explain that to a 12 year old in a way that didn’t involve the phrase “she shot off his junk”. “When your mom shot him, the bullet caused some injuries that he wasn’t really able to heal from, that still caused him pain. He blamed your mom for that. That’s why he targeted her.”
“Why did Mom go after Jeffrey when she she knew that she could either find him or find me? She couldn’t do both.”
“He told you that?”
“Yeah.”
“Harry, he lied. You shouldn’t believe what he told you. He was the only one who knew where he put you and the only way to find that place was to find him first. And that’s why your mom went after him.”
“But she found him, right?
“She did…”
“And she killed him before he told her where I was. If he was the only one who knew where I was, why did she kill him first?”
“Because he turned the gun on me. He recognized me as her husband and pointed his gun at me. She did it to save my life.”
“She forgot about me.”
“No Harry, she didn’t. She called Hen and Chimney over there to try to save his life so she could get him to tell her where you were. But they couldn’t. And honestly, I don’t think he had ever planned to tell anyone what he did with you. He hated your mother that much.”
Harry was quiet for a while. “Jeffrey was going to let me die in there, wasn’t he?”
“Yeah, I believe that was his plan.”
“And Mom didn’t really have a choice? Find me or find him?”
”No. Hudson never presented a choice to her. He always wanted her to go after him.” Bobby didn’t want to lay all this information on Harry, but he felt he needed to know the truth. “Are you okay?”
“I don’t know.”
“That’s fine. You don't have to know. This is a lot to process. I get it.”
“How did you guys find me?”
Bobby smiled and said, “Well, you actually had a lot to do with that - when you got the attention of that woman walking her dog. She uploaded that video she took of you and May saw it. Because of where that woman was when she shot that video, the police figured out the general location of where you might be. And with the evidence they found on Hudson and in his car, they were able narrow the location down and your sister figured out that you were probably in an abandoned housing development in Valencia. Your mom and dad and I and the 118 headed over there and searched. After about an hour, we found you behind that wall.”
“Wow.”
“You were really sealed up in there, Harry. I don’t think he wanted anyone to ever find you. Your mom did everything she could to get you back and you need to know that. Hudson wanted to destroy your mother and taking her son away from her forever would have done that.”
Harry sat there and thought about what Bobby told him. He felt ashamed about what he said to his mother. He wanted to hurt her because he believed what Jeffrey said. That his mom only was able to make one choice. She went after Jeffrey instead of trying to find him. She was a cop, not a mom.
But everything Bobby said made sense. He never saw anyone else when Jeffrey had him. Jeffrey was the only one that knew where they went. Bobby was right, his mom needed to find Jeffrey first. She didn’t really have a choice, did she? And it wasn’t her fault the city had a blackout. She didn’t let Jeffrey escape. And she didn’t know he never made it back into custody.
Harry felt sick. And he started to cry. “I’m so sorry, Bobby,” he whispered through falling tears. “I never should have yelled at her like that.”
Bobby jumped up, walked around the picnic table and sat down next to Harry. Putting his arms around his stepson, he said, “It’s okay. You have been through a lot. You had an understandable reaction to what happened.”
“But Mom wouldn’t have hit me if I never said what I did.”
“That’s not your fault, Harry. Don’t blame yourself. Your mom feels terrible about what she did.”
“But why did she do it?”
Bobby sighed, “I don’t know. I don’t think she does either. Do you think you might want to talk to her about it? Maybe with the therapist you’ve been seeing, Dr. Nathanson? You like her, right?”
”Yeah, I guess she’s nice.”
“Then I’ll suggest it to your parents.”
“Will you do it with us? The therapy?”
”If you want me to, I’d love to do it.”
“Thank you, Bobby,” Harry said as he hugged his stepdad.
Bobby looked around. The sun was starting to set. How did he not notice? “Hey, Harry. Are you ready to go back? It’s getting dark.”
”Yeah, can we go back to my dad’s?”
~~~~~
Fifteen minutes later, Bobby and Harry walked through the door of Michael’s apartment. Michael, Athena and May were waiting for them.
Harry stood near the doorway and looked around at his family. He locked eyes with his mother. “I’m sorry, Mom. I shouldn’t have said what I did. I shouldn’t have believed him.”
Athena walked over to embrace her son, but Harry instinctively stepped back, remembering what happened earlier that day.
Athena looked stricken. She remembered the look on her son’s face after she slapped him. That look would haunt her for the rest of her life. She took a few small steps closer to Harry. “I’m sorry, too. I never should have reacted like that. I don’t know why…”
”I know, Mom. Do you think maybe we could talk to Dr. Nathanson? Together? You and me? Bobby said he’d go with us.”
Michael interjected, “Bobby? Why…”
Harry looked at his dad, “Bobby helped me understand a lot of things and he thought it would be good if I talked to her with Mom. I want him there too.”
Athena looked at her son, “I think it’s a great idea, Harry. If you want Bobby with us, we can do that.” Athena glanced at Michael and sensed he was about to say something. “We want what’s best for our son, right?”
“You’re right,” Michael acknowledged. He looked over at Bobby. “Hey, I’m sorry about before. I know you love my kids and what happens to them does concern you. It’s just been…”
”A hard time for everyone. I get it. It’s alright,” Bobby responded.
Athena looked over at her son. “Hey, can I hug you? I really need a hug from my baby.”
Harry walked over to his mother and into her open arms. “Yeah, I really need a hug from my mom.”
THE END