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“What if Tina showed up at your doorstep, telling you that she still loves you and wants to give your relationship another shot? What would you do?”
Bette couldn’t stop thinking about what Shane had told her. She hadn’t given an answer because the truth was that she had no idea. She had no idea of what she would do but it didn’t matter because it would never happen in a million years.
Except that it did. Not exactly in the way Shane had imagined it but it did. Tina was standing in front of her with a look that Bette knew too well. She was in pain and needed someone to talk to. She needed Bette.
“Can I come in?”
Bette stood there, completely frozen. She was supposed to go meet Pippa, but it didn’t matter now. She’d never leave Tina like that. On their wedding day, they had promised each other to always be there, for better or for worse. And even if that mariage had been over for a long time, Bette intended to keep that promise.
She closed her eyes for a second, stepping away from the door, letting room for Tina to come in.
She closed the door behind them and guided Tina to the couch. Tina was walking slowly, she looked exhausted.
“Are you okay?” Bette asked softly.
“I don’t know”
“Do you want something to drink?”
“I’d like that, thanks”.
Bette walked up to the kitchen, pouring themselves two glasses of wine. She didn’t bring the bottle because she knew they would end up finishing it and she didn’t know what she would be capable of saying once alcohol would have shattered all of her boundaries.
“There you go” she said, handing Tina the glass of wine.
“Thanks Bette”.
Bette had always loved the way Tina would say her name. It was always in a soft way that would make her heart melt. Even after their divorce, Tina had kept her caring voice when she would talk to her or Angie.
Bette sat down on the chair, giving Tina the space she needed. A few years back, Bette would have hugged Tina so tight that she would have had a hard time breathing, telling her that she was here, and that everything would be okay. But it wasn’t her role anymore, it was Carrie’s. She was fighting the urge to get closer to her.
“Do you want to tell me what happened?”
Tina took a deep breath. “I think the wedding is off.”
Bette frowned. She knew Carrie was getting cold feet but she didn’t know it would go this far.
“I’m really sorry Tina.”
Tears started filling up Tina’s eyes. She whispered, her voice was trembling. “I think Carrie and I are over.”
Bette stayed speechless. What do you tell your ex-wife when she tells you that her relationship failed? What do you say to your ex-wife when she just had her heart broken by someone else?
“I guess… Carrie and I were never meant to be.” continued Tina “I mean, she would have never gotten past the fact that you and I still have a relationship because of Angie, and that you would always be a part of my life.”
“I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything at the bar, I know I haven’t been kind to her, but I never thought that it would turn out like this”
“Carrie and I...I think our relationship ended a long time ago. But we’re older now, and we were both scared to be alone that we held on to something that wasn’t real. She was good to me, she was kind and funny, but the love I had with her was nothing compared to what I felt for you ten years ago.”
Tina looked down, not wanting to meet Bette’s eyes. Bette knew it was her time to talk.
“Our love was...intense. But it doesn’t mean that your love with Carrie wasn’t good either, it was just different. There’s nothing wrong with different”
The more they talked, the more Bette realized what her answer to Shane’s question would have been, but it wouldn’t be fair to Tina to tell her about it. She was heartbroken and she needed a friend.
“I don’t know what to do Bette”.
It had been two hours since she had showed up at Bette’s house. Tina was exhausted, barely able to put two words together.
“There’s nothing you can do now, you need to get some sleep, and everything will be clearer in the morning”.
“You’re right, I’m gonna go”
Tina stood up, reaching for her coat and her purse.
Bette stopped her as she started walking away by putting a gentle hand on her arm “You’re not gonna drive Tina”
“Don’t worry I’ll just call a cab”
“Don’t be stupid, you can stay here, the guest room is ready. I don’t want you to be wandering in the night, it’s not safe. You’ll be better here.”
Tina didn’t have the strength to say no, all she could think of was how good it would feel for her to lay down for a while and get some sleep.
“Okay”.
Bette showed her the guest bedroom. The design was tasteful, with a few art pieces Tina recognized from their old house. She sat on the bed silently, observing her surroundings.
Bette knocked at her door after a few minutes.
“Come in”
The brunette poked her head in. “I have some old pjs if you want”
“I’d like that, thanks” said Tina, smiling a little.
Bette handed her the clothes. They stood there for a while, face to face. They didn’t know what to do. All of it felt too familiar. So Bette finally turned around before she could do anything that she would regret.
“I should probably go. Tell me if you need anything else, I’m the first door next to the stairs”
“I will, thank you Bette”
“You’re welcome, I’m just glad you came here”
“Yeah. Me too.”
Bette slowly closed the door and went back to her room. She layed on her back, staring at the ceiling. She couldn’t stop thinking about what had just happened.
“What if Tina showed up at your doorstep, telling you that she still loves you and wants to give your relationship another shot? What would you do?”
Shane’s voice still resonated in her head. But now she knew the answer, she was sure of it. She’d say yes. She would give everything up to be able to throw herself into Tina’s arms again. But she wasn’t sure it was what Tina wanted.
However, Tina had shown up at her front door. She could have gone anywhere. Shane’s, Alice’s, or some of her other friends that Bette didn’t know very well. But she was here.
She looked at her alarm clock as the hours went by, she couldn’t sleep, her brain wouldn’t shut up.
At around 4 in the morning, she heard a soft knock on her door followed by a whisper “Bette?”.
“Yes?”
Her heart started racing, as Tina slowly opened the door.
“Are you asleep?”
“No, come on in.”
Bette sat up on her bed, trying to fix her hair a little. “Is everything okay? Do you need something?”
“I can’t sleep”
“Yeah. Me neither”.
Tina didn’t say anything else, she just walked up to Bette and climbed on the bed, under the covers. She looked at Bette, waiting for a sign of consent from her. Bette opened her arms, knowing exactly what her ex-wife needed.
Tina scooched in next to her, wrapped her arms around Bette’s waist and laid her head on her chest, listening to her heartbeat. Bette put her hand on Tina’s back, bringing her closer. Bette’s hearbeat was definitely too fast to be normal.
“Do I make you nervous?” asked Tina, not moving her head.
“I just….wanna make sure that you’re not gonna regret something”
“I’m okay Bette, don’t worry”
Then Bette’s heartbeat slowed down, she was calm again.
They both closed their eyes, trying to enjoy the moment. For just a few hours, everything felt right. They fell asleep almost immediately, holding on to each other and refusing to let go.