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“No,” Jason snapped.
Bruce tugged on his gauntlets, giving him a look of pure exasperation. “Jason-”
“No!” Jason insisted. The bats chittered at his volume. “You are not sending the kids to fucking New York! We can just go to Metropolis, we have a perfectly wonderful penthouse with top-of-the-line security-”
“You are not allowed to supervise the kids by yourself.”
“You’re still on about that?!”
Bruce raised his voice to be heard over Jason’s protests. “Talia is out of the country, Alfred is on vacation, and I need the rest of your siblings. They’re going to New York. Whether you accompany them is up to you.”
“Of course I’m fucking accompanying them,” Jason snapped. “You think I’m going to leave them alone with a fucking alien invation happening?”
“The invasion is nowhere near New York,” Bruce said calmly, checking that his gauntlet’s computer was working. He lowered his arm and raised an eyebrow at Jason. “And the entire point of sending them is that they won’t be alone. Dick will be with them.”
“Oh well if Dick’s going to be with them I guess I don't have anything to be worried about,” Jason shot back, sarcasm dripping. “It’s not like he’s a boneheaded flippy disaster who can barely take care of his dog.” Bruce hummed absently, leaning over his desk to type rapidly on the batcomputer. Jason threw his hands in the air. “You’re not even listening to me anymore, are you.”
Bruce didn’t reply, frowning at the screen.
Jason folded his arms, scowling. “We are not going to New York.”
“Hey guys, welcome to New York!” Dick beamed as he held the door open. Jason elbowed past him, glare fixed firmly to his face. Damian darted past too, dumping his backpack on the couch and running through the apartment in search of Haley. Dick rolled his eyes and then smiled down at his last guest. “Hey, Mara.”
“Grayson,” Mara replied. “My thanks for housing us in Talia’s absence.”
“It’s no problem. Why don’t you come on in? Have you guys eaten?”
“We stopped on the way,” Mara said, stepping into the apartment and looking around curiously. “Jason did not wish to subject us to your cooking abilities until absolutely necessary.”
Dick chuckled and shut the door. “I’ve gotten a lot better since I was eighteen. I’ll have to prove it tomorrow, huh?”
Mara gave a minuscule shrug. She wandered further into the apartment before her steps faltered. Dick followed her gaze to the carved elephant sitting on one of his bookshelves and smiled a little. “Place of pride,” he said, coming up to stand next to her.
Mara looked up at him, expression mostly unreadable but eyes a bit wider than usual. She looked away. “I am pleased that you like it,” she murmured.
“Maybe you could show me how you do it someday,” Dick said, keeping his voice light and easy. Mara still looked like a deer in the headlights.
Luckily, or unluckily perhaps, they were interrupted before Mara had to come up with an answer. Predictably, this interruption came from Jason. “Hey Dickhead, where are we sleeping?” he hollered.
Dick made commiserating eye contact with Mara and then dramatically rolled his eyes. He was rewarded with a small smile.
Dick grinned and headed over toward where Jason was squinting judgmentally around the apartment.
“This is fucking stupid,” Jason muttered, slouched against the wall of June’s house.
“You’re fucking stupid,” Dick replied, scanning the street for Peter’s car.
Jason muttered angrily but he didn’t try to attack Dick, and that was a marked improvement from when he had first come home, so Dick was counting it as a win.
“I agree with Jason,” Damian said, bundled up against the fall chill. His jacket was probably designer, but that didn’t stop it from making him look comically small and puffy. It was adorable, if Dick said so himself, but he wouldn’t say that because he liked having all his blood inside him. “We could stay here with no problem. We are not so inept at caring for ourselves, and Haley was distressed to see us leave.”
Haley had been her usual dramatic self, whining and pawing at their legs, but she had cheered up when June had swooped in with Bugsy. But any of the assassin kids -- including Jason -- showing compassion was to be encouraged at all times, so Dick just nodded and said assuringly, “Haley will be just fine until we come back. And!” He held up a letter, flashing Talia's signature. “I have explicit instructions to follow.”
Jason slumped further into the building. Dick grinned. He found it unabashedly hilarious that Talia and Bruce had teamed up to parent Jason, and he had no qualms about taking advantage of it.
“And your cover?” Mara asked. “I presume this will not jeopardize it?”
Dick pouted dramatically. “I’m beginning to think none of you want to see my job.” He ignored Jason’s “You’d be right,” and smiled down at Mara. Trust her to be the one worried about the actual mission. “But no, this won't be a problem. I’ve cleared it.” He was making it sound a lot easier than it had actually been. Ultimately, Peter’s burning desire to know everything about him and his mysterious family won out, but Dick had still had to listen to an hour of lecturing on how the FBI was not a babysitting service. “Just remember your code names and you’ll be good.”
Peter pulled up to the curb and Dick beamed, pulling open the door and leaning down to see Peter. “Good morning, Peter!”
He could feel Jason stiffening behind him. Dick’s smile turned a bit more devious.
“These are my relatives: Mila, Dominc, and you’ll never guess-” He swept over to Jason and dragged him away from the wall. “His name is Peter too!”
“Get your hand off me unless you want to lose it,” Jason growled under his breath.
Dick tightened his grip. “If you want to get arrested by the FBI, you go right ahead,” he murmured from the corner of his smile as Damian and Mara stiffly greeted Peter.
“You mentioned your younger relatives,” Peter said, nodding at Damian and Mara. “I wasn’t expecting a third.”
“Oh don’t let the muscles and the glare fool you, he’s still my baby cousin.” Jason elbowed him in the ribs. “Wasn’t sure he was coming,” Dick continued easily. “But here he is.”
Peter raised an unimpressed eyebrow. “And why can’t he watch Mila and Dominic?”
Dick’s smile got wider. Jason elbowed him harder. “Pete got into a bit of trouble,” he said breezily. “He’s not allowed to watch the kids alone any more.”
Peter eyed Jason warily. Dick didn’t blame him. Jason was big and exuded an air of ‘predator’ that he wasn’t very good at turning off. “What kind of trouble?”
“Nothing illegal,” Dick reassured him, finally releasing Jason with a stifled wince after the third hit to his ribs. “Just neglected to inform their parents of their day plans and then turned off his phone. Caused some panic.”
“We were fine,” Jason snapped, shoving his hands in the pockets of his jacket. “And you can fuck right off.”
“Language,” Dick chirped. “What would your mother say?”
Jason’s jaw tightened dangerously. Peter broke the tense silence, looking concerned. “Right, well. We have to get to work, Neal.”
“Of course!” Dick opened the back door with a flourish. “Hop in everyone.”
The ride to the FBI was tense. Dick ignored it with the ease of years of living with his family, prattling on about this tv show and that restaurant, their plans for that evening and their current case.
Jason paused outside the building, glaring at it. “This is a bad idea,” he muttered.
“Oh please.” Dick propelled him forward, hyper aware of Peter’s narrowed gaze. “A few hours in an office is not going to kill you.” Under his breath he added, “You’re not packing, are you?”
“I’m not actually an idiot, Dickhead.”
“Then you’ll be fine.”
Fortunately, they made it through security just fine. Dick was 100% sure that all three of his guests were armed, but they hadn’t set off the detectors, and that was good enough for him.
“Welcome to the White Collar Crimes division of the FBI, guys!” he declared, gesturing at the office. The agents scattered around the room looked up at his introduction. Damian and Mara looked well enough, bored with a hint of curiosity thrown in there, but Jason looked worse than Mozzie when he’d been forced in here. He kept his hands tucked tightly in his pockets, and Dick was pretty sure he was gripping a knife. His eyes flicked from side to side, tracking everyone and their movements. It was a distinctly predatory gaze, and Dick sighed as that just made more of the agents pay attention to them.
“I’ll give you the tour,” Dick said, praying Jason would get a handle on his nerves. Dick’s cover might handle a few relatives popping up, but it would not survive one of those relatives stabbing an FBI agent.
“Jones!” Dick said, herding Damian, Mara, and a very reluctant Jason further into the FBI. “These are my cousins!”
Jones blinked. “You have cousins?”
“Well, more or less cousins, you know how these extended family trees get. They’re probably fourth removed or something, but no one has time for that.”
Peter frowned in the corner of Dick’s vision. Dick was sure he was adjusting his mental “Things I Know About Neal Caffrey” list.
Jones held out a hand toward Jason, and to his credit looked only mildly surprised when Damian took it first. “Nice to meet you,” the boy said, looking like it was anything but. “I am Dominic. This is Mila,” Mara gave Jones a brief handshake too, “and Peter.” Jason jerked his chin in greeting.
Jones’s lips quirked a little, and he glanced at Peter. It looked like Dick wasn’t the only one who found the comparison amusing.
“Random question, Peter,” Diana said, coming over to lean against Jones’s desk. “Not inspired by anything at all, but what were you like as a teenager?”
Dick laughed. Both Peter and Jason sent Diana death glares.
“Alright, that’s enough,” Peter said. “We do have work to do today. Jones, you’re supposed to be following up on that identity theft case. Diana-”
“The updated Henrichson files are on your desk,” Diana reported.
“Good. Find something else to do.”
“You got it, boss.”
After a brief tour, Dick planted himself at his desk and waved vaguely toward the wall behind him. “Just stay back there and out of trouble, guys.” He didn’t actually expect that to work, but it was his responsibility as babysitter to at least say it. Jason leaned against the wall; Dick could feel his glare boring into his back. He started whistling a cheerful tune. Jason groaned, and Dick could hear his jacket rustling. He turned to grab a pen, sneaking a glance back to make sure Jason hadn’t pulled a knife in the FBI building. Jason was scowling down at his phone, carefully typing a message. Damian and Mara were sitting against the wall, peering around the office.
It was a peace he knew wouldn’t last, so Dick started working through his paperwork as quickly as possible. The more he got out of the way now, the less annoyed Peter would be when this inevitably went bottoms-up. Jason was not the kind of person you wanted to be bored, and the kids were far too willing to go along with his stunts, no matter how mature they sometimes seemed.
Lmao don’t get caught next time bitchass
Jason huffed, tapping out his response. You got caught too, dipshit.
Ya but my dad didnt give a fuck, Rose shot back immediately. She was much faster than Jason at texting. The League didn’t have much use for phones beyond burners, and the technology had changed a lot when he finally got around to getting an actual, personal phone. Doesnt count
Just wait until Bruce gets his claws in you. There is no escape.
She deigned to send him a laughing emoji before falling silent. There was probably some movement on her stakeout. Jason wished he could be in the Rockies stalking a target. He tucked his phone away and looked around the office. This place was giving him hives. It was kind of like the offices at the league, a bunch of people doing their own thing, the rustling of paper and clicking of pens, but back there he felt at home. Here it felt like everyone was staring at him, waiting for him to twitch wrong. Well fuck them.
Jason slid to the ground beside Damian and Mara. They were in an intense game of Rock Paper Scissors, eyes locked on each other and hands moving almost faster than he could track. He watched them play for a while. Nostalgia tickled the corner of his brain and he smiled slowly. He’d never have done this before, when they were so ready to fight each other as well as anyone else, but now they were friends and this would be the perfect first step to driving Dick insane. “When I was a kid, we’d play that whoever won got to hit the other,” he said casually. “Rock was a punch, paper a knife hand, scissors a taser.”
“A taser?” Mara inquired, tilting her head to the side.
Jason kept his face smooth. “Yeah, you know, like-” he reached out and jabbed the pointer and middle finger of each hand into the sides of her ribs. Mara squeaked in surprise and jerked back, flailing his hands away. Jason laughed and half-heartedly blocked her return attack. “It was a teaching moment!” he protested, the laughter in his voice giving him away. “You asked!”
“I approve of this update,” Damian said, eyeing Mara.
Mara met his challenge easily. “To the death,” she said solemnly.
They squared off. Mara got the first punch and thankfully set a good pace for the game by landing a punch to Damian’s shoulder that would sting for a second but not bruise. Jason watched Dick’s back, but he didn’t seem concerned, cheerfully continuing his paperwork. Hm, maybe Dickhead hadn’t gone completely soft.
After a few minutes, the Rock Paper Scissors had turned into a thumb war. “If this were a true battle of the thumbs, we would go until one broke,” Mara mused.
Dick spun his chair around but Jason beat him to the punch, because if Dick started giving orders Jason would be legally required to do the opposite, and he didn’t actually want the kids breaking their thumbs. “What did we say about actually hurting ourselves?” he asked, fixing them with an expectant look.
They shifted and looked away. Jason raised one eyebrow.
“To not,” Damian muttered.
“Right.” In the corner of his eye, Dick gave the lot of them a long look before turning back to his desk. “Let’s find a game that doesn’t involve breaking fingers.” Jason pursed his lips thoughtfully. “Hey Dickhead, you got any cards?”
Dick rolled his eyes at the nickname, but dug a pack of cards out of his desk. “You better not be making these into throwing stars,” he warned Jason under his breath.
Jason grinned. “Ooh, now there’s an idea. Thanks, Neal.”
Dick gave him a flat look and spun back around.
Jason dealt out six cards to the three of them and snagged a pen from Dick’s desk. “Okay, kiddos. I’m gonna teach you how to play shark’s hand. It’s basically Crime Alley’s official game.”
The game was pretty straight forward. It was usually played with knives, but they were going to be using a pen for safety’s sake. If the kids ever felt like challenging some low-level assassin or untrained rando to a game Jason would provide the knife himself, but with the three of them playing, getting caught with the blade was too much of a risk. Case in point, the first time Damian managed to win a hand.
Jason hissed, yanking his hand back.
“First blood is mine!” Damian proclaimed.
“First what?” two voices demanded.
All three of them jerked around, Jason quickly sticking his hand into his pocket. “What?” he asked innocently.
Dick was out of his chair, looking alarmed. The woman -- Diana, that was her name -- raised both eyebrows at him. “Did he say first blood?”
“Yeah,” Jason said, thinking fast. “That’s what you call it when you win the hand.”
Diana looked slightly appeased, but Dick just narrowed his eyes further. Curse young Jason for teaching him the game.
“They’re fine, Diana,” Dick said, turning a smile on Diana. “Don’t worry about it. They wouldn’t actually stab each other.” His tone was light, but Jason could hear the warning in it. Diana couldn’t, though, so she nodded, sent them all one final suspicious look, and then went back to her job.
As soon as she was out of earshot, Dick spun around and yanked Jason’s hand out from under his jacket. The wound was small, but it was definitely there and bleeding. “What the hell, guys?” Dick hissed. Finally, there was the frazzled expression Jason had been going for. Blood well spent, in his mind.
“Damian clicked the pen,” Jason said. He squinted at Damian even as Dick prodded at the back of his hand. “You’re not supposed to click it.”
“You did not say that,” Damian defended.
“I did not,” Jason agreed. “Dick, I’m fine.” He pulled his hand away. Dick held on for one second longer before releasing him with a sigh.
“I’m vetoing this game, and any other game that could potentially result in one of you bleeding. Pick something else. Preferably something quiet.”
They did end up picking something quiet, which would be Jason’s defense when Dick inevitably got upset about it. The kids would be doing a scavenger hunt of sorts, where Jason would tell them what to find and the two of them would race to collect the items. “I can’t play,” he defended when Damian narrowed his eyes suspiciously. “You’re both cute and literal children, the FBI aren’t gonna arrest you even if you get into some of their shit. I on the other hand,” he gestured at himself, “do not have those privileges.”
Damian and Mara exchanged a long glance before they nodded.
“What is our first item?” Damian asked, balanced on the balls of his feet.
Jason glanced around the office. “Three plastic forks,” he said quietly. “And remember, no leaving the building. Don’t get caught, but if you do, con your way out. Put Dickhead to shame. Ready?” They both nodded. Jason grinned dangerously. “Go.”
Mara darted into the storage room, carefully easing it shut behind her. She was breathing a little harder than usual and her eyes were bright as she turned to survey the room. There was certainly adrenaline running through her body right now, but it wasn’t the kind that made her hard and focused. It was lighter and set a bounce to her step as she started digging through boxes. She was beating Damian by a single point, but Jason has assigned this challenge two points. Damian could still overtake her if he won, which meant she had to beat him back. Now if only she could find a closed case….
Damian slipped through the hallways, moving swiftly and purposefully. The folder he had slipped from Agent Patrick Hunniwell’s desk was tucked securely under his coat, and anticipation burned in his veins as he neared the stairwell. Twelve floors to climb, but it had been worth it. A closed case file not from the White Collar division was the hardest challenge Jason had set them yet, but he had succeeded. Now he just had to make sure he got back before Mara.
Damian climbed the stairs quickly, one hand holding the bottom of the file to make sure it didn’t slip. He was just reaching the landing of the nineteenth floor when the door swung open.
Damian froze.
Mara slid the file cabinet shut and grinned fiercely at the file she had dug up. It had taken her longer than she would have liked, but she was only one floor above the White Collar office. She could still make it.
Mara slipped the file into the back of her waistband and tightened her belt to make sure it wouldn’t fall out. She slipped out of the room and slunk through the halls, back into the cleaning closet on the other side of the building. The vent there was still loose, and she slithered inside, pulling it back into place behind her. The file was a reassuring weight at her back and she quickly made her way back to the drop between floors.
Once she reached it, she encountered a bit of a problem. She had come up this same way, which had worked out fine because she could climb it normally, but now she would have to go down head first. And if she went down facing the wrong way she could get stuck. Mara chewed her lip, trying to remember exactly how the shaft had bent.
“Hello,” the agent said cautiously, looking up and down the staircase for an adult. “What are you doing here?”
Damian stood as tall as he could. “I’m going back to my brother’s desk,” he said, channeling as much confidence as possible. “We just finished lunch but he had a call he had to take, so he sent me ahead.”
“Where does your brother work?” the agent asked. A bead of sweat ran down the back of Damian’s neck. He could easily incapacitate the agent, but that would cause trouble. No, he had to talk his way out.
“He’s on the twenty-first floor,” he said.
“Okay,” the agent said, tucking their file under their arm. Damian really wished he had done that, rather than just shoving it down his front. Gripping the bottom of his coat was bound to raise suspicion, but a file dropping out of his coat would raise even more. “How about I walk you back? This is a big building, and we don’t want you getting lost.”
They didn’t seem all that suspicious, which did not bode well for the general security of the FBI but was good for him. Damian shrugged. “I guess,” he said, easing further into the “normal kid” persona he had been practicing.
The agent led the way up the stairs. Damian focused on not letting the file crinkle under his coat. Being caught now would be incredibly embarrassing and forfeit his right to any points. Mara would be insufferable.
Jason lounged against the wall, jacket pulled up around his face and eyes half-lidded. Anyone looking at him might think he had fallen asleep. That was to be their cover if anyone noticed the kids had left. He had fallen asleep and they had wandered off, as kids were wont to do. Nothing suspicious here, feds.
The door to the office swung open, and Damian walked in. Jason sat up, intending on congratulating him for his win when he got closer, but paused. Damian wasn’t alone. An unknown agent was walking beside him. Dick stiffened in the corner of Jason’s eye, head snapping around to look at him. Jason ignored him.
“Thank you for walking me,” Damian said in his “normal American kid” accent. He turned to Dick. “This is my brother.”
Thankfully, Dick wasn’t quite as helpless as Jason made it sound...sometimes, at least. Rarely. Every blue moon. He quirked a Caffrey smile. “Hey, I was wondering where you’d gone off to.”
“I took the stairs,” Damian shrugged. “The elevator was taking too long.” His fingers tapped rapidly on his leg, spelling out “work call”.
Dick smiled at the agent, standing and offering his hand. “Thanks for delivering him safely back,” he said. “Work, you know how it is.”
“Of course,” the agent said. “Maybe keep him with you next time, though.”
“Will do. You have a good day.”
Dick watched the agent leave before slowly turning to face them. The smile had disappeared from his face and his eyes were narrowed dangerously. “What was that?”
“I was looking for the bathroom,” Damian said, straight-faced.
Dick’s eyes narrowed further. Jason would deny the urge to flinch until his second dying day. “On another floor?”
“The one on this floor was full.” Damian looked slightly pained as he added, “It was an emergency.”
Jason resisted the urge to snicker.
“And where’s Mara?” Dick asked, folding his arms.
“I am here,” Mara said, appearing by Jason’s elbow. Her hair was a mess and she had the start of what looked like a nasty bruise blooming on her forehead.
“What happened to you?” Dick and Jason demanded simultaneously.
Mara sent Jason and Damian a quick glance. “I fell in the bathroom,” she said.
Jason valiantly resisted the urge to facepalm.
Dick sent them all a positively frosty stare. “Lots of bathroom emergencies happening today, huh?”
Mara blanched and looked at Damian, who was turning red. Jason forced himself to meet Dick’s eyes. “Kids,” he said blandly.
Dick closed his eyes and took a few calming breaths. “Okay.” He looked back at them. “I know you guys are doing something just...just don’t get caught? Please? I still need to work here after this.”
“No problem, Neal,” Jason said. “I’ll be sure to stay awake from now on.”
The glare Dick sent him could have melted steel. Jason waited until he was called away to help Jones with something before turning to the kids. “So?” he said. “Let’s see it.”
Damian unzipped his coat and held out a file, while Mara pulled hers out of her waistband. Jason flipped through them quickly, finding the red “Case Closed” stamp on the final page of each one. He grinned at them. “Nice work, guys.”
“I arrived first,” Damian said proudly. “Therefore-”
“He got caught!” Mara protested, shooting into a high kneel. “I made it back without being detected!”
“I was not caught, the agent did not know about the file-”
“Okay, okay, okay,” Jason hissed, sending a quick glance around the office. “No need to announce it to the world.”
He eyed the two of them, tapping the files against his chin thoughtfully. “The score is broken in two parts,” he decided, pretending that had been the logic all along. “Being the first to successfully retrieve the file and not getting caught.” He pointed at Damian. “You made it back here first, but you were found by an agent. Good talking your way out, you still made it back here, but the agent made Dick suspicious of us.” He moved his finger to Mara. “You made it back second and hurt yourself doing it, but you did bring the file and also avoided any detection at all.” He folded his hands in his lap, feeling smug. “You both succeeded in half of the mission, so you both get one point.”
Damian and Mara glared at each other.
Jason reversed the files and held them out. “New challenge,” he said. “Return the other person’s file to its proper place before Neal gets back.”
Dick hauled Damian and Mara into the conference room. Jason was meandering along behind him, hands stuffed in his pockets and looking totally at ease. Dick pushed the kids toward the chairs and held the door, leveling Jason with a gimlet glare. Jason glanced up at him. His eyes widened a fraction of a centimeter and he quick-stepped into the room. Dick shut the door, allowing a satisfied smirk to curl the edge of his lip for a second. For all of Jason’s protests that they weren’t family anymore, that was exactly how his little brother had always reacted to his glare. Not Nightwing’s, Jason seemed to have immunity to any variation of the batglare, but Dick’s.
Dick turned and surveyed the room. Peter was standing by the wall, arms crossed. He had agreed that moving to the conference room was a good idea, but not before giving Dick a very peeved lecture on not letting his charges run around the FBI building. Damian and Mara were sitting at the table, attempting to look contrite, while Jason was glowering from the other wall, attempting to look the opposite.
“Right,” Dick said, putting his hands on his hips. “I’ve had enough. You’re distracting everyone, including me, and I have work to get done here today.” He slapped the stack of files and notebooks he had collected and placed on the table before dragging his siblings in here. “These are case files.” He held up a little kitchen timer he had stolen from the kitchen. “Whoever completes the most cases in twenty minutes wins.”
Damian and Mara were instantly on alert.
“Woah, hold on a second,” Peter protested.
“There’s nothing sensitive in the files,” Dick assured him. “I got most of them from the cold cases binders, the ones you give to the interns? And they’re smart.”
“What do we get if we win?” Damian asked.
Dick tilted his head to the side in thought. “Whoever wins gets to pick what we have for dinner and what we do after,” he decided. “You’re playing too, Pete.”
Jason scowled at the name and opened his mouth, but the sight of Damian and Mara both turning to stare at him pleadingly stopped him in his tracks. Dick decided to put the nail in the coffin. “That is, unless you think you can’t handle it. I mean, I get it if you’re rusty-“
“Fuck off, of course I can do it,” Jason snapped. Dick hid a grin. So predictable. Jason glared from the files, to Dick, to Peter, then stomped forward and dropped into a seat.
“Not exactly fair to the kids, though,” he muttered.
“They’re smart,” Dick repeated. Everyone had been helping teach the kids detective skills for the past few months, he was sure they could manage something, even if Jason beat them. It would keep them occupied, anyway. He twisted the timer. “No hogging files,” he added. “One at a time, and please remember they’re FBI property.” He set the timer down on the table. “Go.”
Damian and Mara lunged forward, each grabbing a file and flipping it open. Jason took one more leisurely, scanning it with a bored look on his face.
Dick turned back to Peter, satisfied that they wouldn’t be causing trouble for at least twenty minutes. “Oh come on, Peter,” he protested quietly when he met Peter’s look. “You keep me around for my unique perspective. They’ve got unique perspectives too. And I made sure there wasn’t anything they couldn’t know.”
“You’re still giving them FBI files,” Peter hissed as they left the conference room.
“The pointless ones that you give interns to show them how hard this job can be,” Dick retorted. “Worst case scenario they sit quietly for twenty minutes and I get to deal with their annoyance at not solving anything after we leave. Best case?” He shrugged. “Maybe they solve something. It’s better than them taking actual files that could be important, and I think they’ve proved they can do that perfectly well.”
Peter huffed at the reminder, dropping into his seat. “If I had caught Pete helping them…” he muttered, fingering his handcuffs.
“Believe me, I know,” Dick said dryly. “Allegedly he was the mastermind, but officially he was sleeping.”
“You Caffreys do love your ‘allegedly’s,” Peter grumbled. He raised one eyebrow at Dick. “And what kind of unique perspectives do your cousins have to offer, exactly?”
“Everyone has a unique perspective,” Dick said brightly. “Shall we see about that jewel heist?”
“It’s always a toss up with you,” Dick commented, licking chili off his fingers.
Jason furrowed his brow at him, cheeks bulged out with food in a way Dick would never say was cute, but would say reminded him of when Jason was much, much smaller and much more prone to clamber onto Dick’s shoulders at the slightest whim.
“Foodwise,” Dick clarified. “I can never tell if you’re going to go fancy or,” he gestured at the greasy bag sitting between them on the park bench.
Jason swallowed and shrugged. “Sometimes you want sole meunière and sometimes you want a heart attack on a bun.”
Dick snorted and looked out over the expanse of grass in front of them. Damian and Mara were racing back and forth across the grass, playing what looked like a complicated version of tag while Haley darted between them, barking excitedly.
“One case for Damian and two for Mara,” he mused. “I can’t count how many interns I've seen slaving over those cases in the time I’ve been here. They’re learning fast.”
Jason smiled, a small proud thing. “Yeah they are. They’re going to be the best.”
Dick glanced at him, the frustration from earlier chased away by the sun and the food and a softness in his chest that felt a lot like pride. “It’s because of you, you know,” he said, watching Damian launch into a roll and come up sharply to tag Mara’s side. Mara tripped trying to avoid Haley’s paws and face-planted into the grass while Damian laughed. “As much as you drive me crazy, you’re good for them. We can all see it.”
There was a moment of silence. Dick chanced a glance out the corner of his eye. Jason’s face was bright red and he was staring fixedly into the distance. “Thanks,” he muttered.
Dick smiled and draped one arm over the back of the bench. Jason didn’t move away.
“So, are you happy you came to New York after all?”
“Fuck off, Dick.”