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Taehyung placed the book down on the coffee table, carefully tucking in a bookmark. He took the mug with him as he unfolded himself out of the cozy cocoon on his couch.
Same as always. Only the heating was turned on, and the widows were shut. There wasn’t much change.
Taehyung never was much of a festival person. Sure, he loved the festivities. Loved to talk and socialize. But being the holidays' spirit himself? Nah.
If Jimin was to drop by, Taehyung would get an earful for not even hanging some lights. Jimin was the most extroverted of them, even when they were toddlers. His mother had an armful with them.
Explains why she put her foot down on ‘no more kids’, after running around the troublesome tricksters. Despite being cousins they always acted like a set of twins, earning the name of ‘twin tricksters’ in the family.
But Jimin was on his honeymoon, in Hawaii. Taehyung was happy that at least one of them was able to have a happy romantic life. Yoongi hyung was totally smitten over his cousin.
It wasn't that he had nothing going on in his love life. He had occasional flings, hook-ups, even dates. But they were just that. Even his longest relationship in College was just that. A relationship.
Call him a romantic, or hopeless. But Taehyung wanted love. The passion. The inability to keep hands to themselves. The itch to be by their side. The thoughts filling your head.
He wanted Love.
Love. With all its pain, hurt, tears, and longing. To feel that intense desire.
He has seen sex, and steam. But it was nothing without that innate care, and belonging.
The soup is good to consume. Something Jungkook had taught him.
“You should always know basic soup!”
Jungkook.
Taehyung dips his head in between his shoulders. The name always brings back good memories. The pranks. The detentions. The sleep overs.
“Park. Kim. Jeon. Out. Now!”
He giggles at the memories. They had gone from the ‘trickster twins’ to the ‘troublesome trio’, when Jungkook joined them in Middle school.
But life isn’t stuck in Middle school, nor High school. And you grow. You leave. People leave.
Which is why it hurts to remember. To know that’s in the past.
It's December the 22nd. 11.30 p.m.
December 23rd is their day. A promise to drop at least a text once a year. It had started as a promise to talk every week. It had grown to every month. Then became here and then. To the point of just a text. And the original see each other in person every year on 23rd December, was gone.
Only, drop a text every year on December 23rd.
Jimin hadn’t gone astray from Jungkook as Taehyung had had.
“You both just hate phone conversations!” Jimin had exclaimed once, at a family dinner. It had dissipated with the sensation of Jimin getting a boyfriend.
He wanted to be the more mature person in this friendship. But he was still petty about the other, not even looking at his birthday wish text.
He hated being ignored. Everybody knew that. Especially Jungkook. Jungkook used to spend all his pocket money in buying Taehyung peacemaking snacks for ignoring him when Taehyung had wanted attention. People thought it was weird; a toxic relationship. But they didn’t mind much.
This time, however, Taehyung was furious. Because it has been more than three months.
He was not going to let the fancy Gaming company CEO Jungkook go. This time he is standing his ground.
But even as he plugs his phone to the charger, he knows. Knows he would forget everything and fawn over a single text, if Jungkook was to send one.
Taehyung switches off the light, and snuggles into the covers. Just wishing there were arms around him. And that maybe, this christmas can be not as lonely.
If you ask Taehyung if a person should wake up, the answer would be a resounding ‘No’. Why would someone wake up instead of snuggling into a comfy bed, and sleeping all day. That is, especially, on a day during winter break with absolutely nothing to do.
Which is why he chooses to ignore the calling bell that had disturbed his peaceful sleep. He was having a good dream with Jungkook making absurd jokes about wine.
Who in their right mind comes this early in the morning to Taehyung’s place?
The incessant press of the bell, and the powerful knicks on the wood has Taehyung seething with anger. The wind howling outside doesn’t help either.
No way is his sleep coming back now.
“Whatever, or whoever that is better have a good reason-” Taehyung freezes, Door flung open midway, mumbling abruptly.
“Hi, Tae. Do you have room for another?”
“Jungkook?!”
Jungkook really has no idea why he had trudged out of the cab, through the snow that was piling the lawn to the apartment complex, despite the news very clearly stating a snowstorm. And declaring everyone to stay at home. Not to mention the lugging suitcase, and its metal handle freezing his fingers. He thinks maybe his hand could fall off when he reaches his absurd destination.
The timing is worse than absurd. It's insane. Four in the morning, still night. And the street is dead, except for the howling winds which seems to be proof of the said incoming snowstorm.
He had landed in Seoul, rented a cab, stopped the cab a few streets away, and decided to drag himself and his luggage through the storm.
Would anyone believe this was Jeon Jungkook, the CEO and owner of Game Gold?
Most probably not.
But he was desperate. He hadn’t seen his best friends in years. One of his best friends has run away to Hawaii. Which he only got to know after he had got on the plane, and because he had finally logged into his personal instagram, only to find the cheesiest pics of his brother and his best friend.
Was it heartwarming? Yes.
Was it heart arresting? Yes!
The betrayal!
His hyung had said nothing! And they had just talked last week!
Well, to be honest he hadn’t planned on mentioning his little vacation home, as well. He liked giving surprises. Receiving them, not so much.
Still, surprise or no surprise, to not even mention getting married?!
That is how he was huffing his way with the slightest of ideas where he was heading based on social media account bios.
Why?
Because it was Taehyung.
And, Jungkook really doesn’t know how his heart is going to manage, if he does meet him.
Besides, if this ends up leading nowhere, he can always dump himself at one of the hotels. Him not liking them is besides the point.
He remembers how he used to get all flustered with the simplest of touches from the other. Taehyung was very vocal about his affections. He didn’t shy away from hugs, kisses, and even cuddling in bed.
Teenage Jungkook, on the other hand, ws a fumbling mess when it came to expressing things. And was even worse than a log when shown the simplest acts of care.
So, what happens when the bestfriend you have been crushing on for most of your High school life gets a boyfriend? The obvious: you run away.
Jungkook had suffered months seeing Taehyung make out with his highschool sweetheart in the corners and the corridors. It was as if Highschool had become a living nightmare, right out of his deepest pits of horrors.
He was good in his courses. But even better was his track record. And his father had a relatively inflated purse. So he took the first escape route to the USA, for his higher studies.
Yes, he knew Taehyung was hurt that he was leaving. And at that point had even broken up with that horrible looking boy. But Jungkook wasn’t ready to live through more of those horror stories (Which with Jimin were getting really scary, starting from basic kissing to blowjobs).
Jungkook would have loved to have that discussion if he had been able to do them with Taehyung. But no, he couldn’t.
Taehyung saw him the exact same way Jungkook saw Jimin. The same way Jimin saw them both.
And forget the embarrassment of finding his brother eating Jimin’s face under the stairs at home.
Yeah, life didn’t look that much good when Jungkook had left.
Looking back he wants to smack himself.
He could have simply went up to Taehyung and spilled it out. It would have saved their friendship, they would have had more than what they have now.
Jungkook looks up the list in front of the elevator for the residents’ names. And breathes an icy inhale.
“KIM TAEHYUNG — 7J”
The apartment isn’t luxurious, but it isn’t bad as well. He knows there are better and worse within the borders of Seoul. But he always liked Busan more.
Seoul, despite its attractions, didn't feel like home. Nowhere felt like home, for that matter. Nowhere since he had left the shores of Busan a decade ago.
The lift beeps open. Each floor has ten units it seems. He has trudged down the corridor to the far end.
“7J”
He sighs. Reconsidering going to a hotel.
But it’s December 23rd.
He presses the calling bell. No answer. He presses again.
He knocks.
There are sounds of someone mumbling, tripping.
“-better have good reason-”
Taehyung is ethereal. He really is there. Jungkook feels his skin go hectic with electricity. Eyes still drooping, hair a mess.
Those mismatched eyes widen as he pulls the best apologetic smile he can. His cheeks are a screaming red.
He has to greet him, Jungkook scolds himself.
“Hi, Tae. Do you have room for another?”
“Jungkook?!”
“What-” Taehyung stops himself before he embarasses himself. He reaches out the door to touch the Jungkook he sees. His fingers find frim muscle. And he jerks back at that.
“You’re REAL?!” He almost screeches.
Jungkook chuckles. And Taehyung’s ear turns like a puppy’s would at times. A really nice sound. Was Jungkook’s chuckles always so nice?
Deep, but angelic. His satoori was cute in Taehyung’s memory. Now, it seems to be sultry and charming.
Taehyung is brought out of his thoughts as the other tilts his head. Jungkook really has grown into his features. After all, you don’t look the same at twenty eight as you did at nineteen.
“Sorry, but I am real. Didn’t know you imagined about me that much to be confused with the real me.” Taehyung flushes red, neck feeling warm. It wasn’t exactly a lie. There were moments of him imagining what it would be like if Jungkook was there.
“Stop with the nonsense,” Taehyung opens the door wider. Reaching for the other’s Luggage. “Why are you here?”
Jungkook puts up a silent fight of not letting the handle go. Taehyung swats away that hand, and pulls it in. Then turns to pull his long unseen best friend into his apartment.
He closes the door. “What do you mean, ‘Why’?” Jungkook frowns as he holds on to Taehyung’s wrist. Not allowing Taehyung to turn away.
“You’re in Seoul,” Taehyung says pointedly. “Do you have any meetings?” He says reaching forward to take off the coat on Jungkook. He unbuttons the coat, and pulls the zipper ignoring the sounds from the CEO.
“Don’t tell me, you forgot the date,” Jungkook jokes as he pushes the coat off his shoulders. He’s wearing a simple grey T Shirt. Just like he used to wear in High school.
“Date?” Taehyung is pretty sure, he didn’t have any dates— oh.
“That’s why you’re-?” Taehyung asks, incredulous.
“It’s been too long since I had last even seen your photo,” Jungkook said, eyes crinkling.
“Kookie, Gosh! When did you become such a charmer, and a liar?” Taehyung flicks at the other’s forehead.
“Ouch!” Taehyung smirks at that. Short lived, though.
Jungkook grasps the offending hands and turns them around, twisting Taehyung and capturing him. He leans forward, and smirks against Taehyung’s right shoulder.
“And you still haven’t learned to hold your guard against me.”
Taehyung is quick to bite his tongue and roll his eyes. He shakes himself out of the hold to go and fetch a towel. Then pushes the visitor into the bathroom.
“I’ll lay your pajamas out from your suitcase, now, shower.”
He collapses on the floor, and rubs his temple. Wondering what had ,almost, brought such a clap back to his tongue.
‘Maybe I don’t want to.’
Jungkook looks at the bathroom mirror, and sees himself bare. He had taken off his piercings to avoid unnecessary problems with his already hurried plans.
He sort of looks like the lost boy he was when he had left Korea.
Now he is back, for good. He has always wanted to be in Korea. It just sort of never worked out. Even when he was, he was in the military.
He is coming back to Korea.
Moving.
His Head Quarters. His Life. Himself.
It's scary to think that.
He walks out in the laid out clothes, Taehyung has already opened his suitcase.
Taehyung is in his room, it seems. After all, it's way too early. Too early to talk. Jungkook is about to pluck out a thick sweater in his luggage and sleep on the couch when Taehyung walks into the living room.
“Don’t tell me you’re planning on sleeping on the couch!” Taehyung frowns. His hands are placed on his hips, cinching his too big of a shirt, and emphasizing his waist. “You and I are the same size, and I know for a fact that the couch is not at all comfortable.”
Taehyung walks over to Jungkook, and flicks Jungkook on the forehead. Jungkook has always been mesmerized with Taehyung. Still is. Doesn’t know how one can not be.
“Silly bunny,” Taehyung chuckles, as he takes Jungkook’s hand and pulls him into his bedroom. Jungkook can’t feel his lungs. Feels the way his skin erupts in goosebumps.
"My Silly bunny, come here," Taehyung says, wrapping his arms around Jungkook’s shoulders. ‘It’s nothing.’
Jungkook hasn’t heard anyone call him ‘bunny’ in a long time. Well, it was always Taehyung’s claim that Jungkook was a bunny. The Bunny to Taehyung’s tiger.
Just like old days. Days when nothing else, but laying in his best friend’s warm embrace, mattered. An embrace of safety.
Something Jungkook is afraid of is that maybe he is imagining all this as he lays in his bed.
They aren’t cuddling as they used to. No, but Jungkook is deterred with the presence of his life’s love beside him.
He takes a long time. A long while of listening to Taehyung’s even breaths before he allows himself to be lulled in the serenity of the room.
Jungkook finds arms slinged around his waist when he wakes up. He woke up to the ring of his phone.
Something that would have been impossible some years ago. But with finishing his military service, and becoming the CEO he is today, he lost the ability to fall into deep sleep altogether. Well, he had lost it long before that. When he never again felt the warmth of the lean body spanning his whole height against him.
It was a message from his secretary fretting over the details of the transactions. He feels sorry for her. He did up and flew away all of a sudden, without any prior notice of his Christmas vacation. But he hadn’t planned for a long one, he had planned to get on with business immediately.
Then, the snowstorm blew in.
He shuts off his phone and sighs. The jet lag drags his limbs into the mattress. And Taehyung throws his legs across his, while nuzzling into the crook of his neck.
This time sleep pulls him sooner.
Taehyung was a little fazed at waking up nuzzled into a warm source, which turned out to be his best friend. Said bestfriend looked like an Angel resting, with all the lashes spread out on his cheeks. Lips pouted, and pink. Skin glistening in the mediocre lighting of the stormy gloomy morning.
It has been a long time since Taehyung was this close to Jungkook, at least physically. But Taehyung, still, vividly remembers his best friend as a teenager. With features that seemed to pop out more than his face. He remembers teasing Jungkook about it. He also remembers the insecurities that he had hugged to soothe.
As he lay there in the wrap of warmth, he sees that same boy again. The boy who forgot everything when Taehyung lulled him. But over that boy now lies a man. A man who has sculpted himself. A man Taehyung can barely recognize, yet feels as his.
His fingers leave the shirt they were curled into and hover over the cheek which is pale. An ivory petal. Jungkook was always the fairest among the three of them, other than Yoongi hyung, he was the palest ceramic. Now Taehyung wants to feel the sculpture, which looks like porcelain.
His fingers tremble.
Porcelain can break. Break before touch, at a breath of air.
Taehyung scrambles out of bed. Pushing his feet on the floor. Pulling the tendons, and bones to move.
His kitchen is unnaturally stocked, a bit too much. And Taehyung doesn’t even remember going grocery shopping.
Wait. When did he last do his groceries?
There is a note pinned to the door of the cabinets on the inside. Taehyung smiles at his guardian Angel’s antics, Jimin.
‘I very well know you don’t do, or even know for the matter, groceries. So I did. Eat properly!’
He pulls out a cereal box, and begins to make some tea. He stills remembering that Jungkook likes Dalgona coffee.
Jungkook used to like Dalgona coffee.
That could have changed. Americano. Latte. Caramel macchiato. Or whatever the even more fancier aspirated names there are out there.
Taehyung still bites down on his lips as he pulls out instant coffee, sugar. And bends down to dig out the long lost hand mixer.
Admittedly, Yoongi hyung, or even Jimin is much better at this than him. There is a very high probability of him producing a non-edible end product.
Heck, even Jungkook knows, or hopefully remembers, that Taehyung is bad in the Kitchen.
Yet, there is this need inside Taehyung to do this.
He has set the end product, which thankfully does resemble what was expected, in glass mugs, when a forehead pushes against the juncture of his nape and shoulders.
Something that had been a constant once. Now it feels foriegn. But he wants it. He lets it be. The force.
It’s electric the way he feels, at a simple touch.
Why does he feel like he’s in withdrawal, at each press of Jungkook’s skin.
He full-well knows the other is still sleepy. Jungkook hasn’t changed the way he is when he wakes up. That thought makes him giddy.
Jungkook wraps his forearms around Taehyung’s hips. Mumbles ‘Morning’ against Taehyung’s backbone. Lips brushing there.
Taehyung turns. The arms don’t let go. Taehyung looks at Jungkook. Jungkook's puffy, and adorable. There is this instinct to tuck Jungkook into him.
Jimin had always teased Taehyung for fussing over Jungkook, even though it was mostly the other way around.
“cause, when you do, you are all panicked and anxious. Like a boyfriend.”
Taehyung had brushed it aside at eighteen. He had his own boyfriend then. And certainly he didn’t do that to his boyfriend. That’s not how boyfriends act.
Jimin had shook his head hopelessly at Taehyung’s argument, and changed the topic.
“Good morning!” Taehyung chirps, bopping the nose aligned in front of his.
Jungkook blinks at that. His eyes clear. And the arms jump away.
The emptiness Taehyung feels then is miserable.
“Dalgona Coffee.” Tae hands the mug, with a forced stretch of his lips. He wonders if that even resembles a smile, from the way Jungkook looks at him.
Jungkook wants to scream into the storm. That’s what he wants to do, but can’t. Taehyung gives him a mug of Dalgona coffee, Jungkook’s favorite. But his smile is not the one he always gave Jungkook.
What did Jungkook think, that when he simply comes back, Taehyung would love him as well?
Jungkook put this wall between them. Not Taehyung.
Jungkook ran away from his feelings. Not Taehyung.
Jungkook avoided Taehyung like the plague. Not Taehyung.
It all came down to him. This hurt. This hopelessness.
The matter of Jungkook being here is being omitted as they talk about everything, and anything.
“Hey, not planning on any Christmas decorations?” Jungkook says holding on to the empty mug in a way it covers the whole surface. He nods his head to the ceiling, and looks around.
“I don’t know,” Taehyung shrugs. “I haven’t done Christmas in a long time.”
Jungkook feels a pang at that. It strikes a chord. Jungkook hasn’t felt Christmas since he left Taehyung.
“Let’s have Christmas this year.” Jungkook says, even though it sounds more of a hesitant question. They could put up the decorations together, just like old times.
Better times.
“Have Christmas….together?” Taehyung asks, disbelief coloring his voice, and eyes wider than the mugs in their hands.
Taehyung, of course, would have plans. What did Jungkook think? That he could just come in and take Taehyung’s time for himself. Heck, Taehyung can have a boyfriend for all he knows.
“It’s okay, if you don’t want to…I just thought…” Jungkook presses his palms against the glass mug tighter.
“No.” Taehyung grabs Jungkook’s hands. “No. I mean Yes. YES!”
Taehyung laughs. And Jungkook is drunk on it. That happy sound tingling through him. His happy pill.
“Yes, let’s have Christmas this year. Though we may have to turn the place upside down for things.” Taehyung boops Jungkook’s nose. Jungkook scrunches it reflexively.
“You still look like a baby bunny,” Taehyung chuckles, squishing Jungkook’s cheeks. No one would believe this was the CEO of the Golden Games. Not with being squished like a marshmallow, and giggling along with eyes having a galaxy of hearts.
Taehyung was standing on his tiptoes on the step ladder. How did Jimin even put it up here, when Taehyung is unable to reach it on a ladder?
“You sure the box is up there?” Jungkook asks looking up at Taehyung. “How did you even put it up there, if you can’t reach it?”
“I didn’t.” Taehyung looks down at Jungkook. He’s biting his bottom lip, hands on his waist.
Damn. When did Jungkook become built? And so handsome?
“Then?” Jungkook asks. Eyes trained on Taehyung’s body as Taehyung once again goes on his toes.
“Jimin did.”
Jungkook bursts into laughter. Full belly laughter. Holding his stomach. Taehyung wonders, why did Jungkook have to stay away from him?
It was always like this, when they were in the same room. Happy, and caring.
“Good one, Tae.” Jungkook wipes an escaped tear, straightening. Taehyung doesn’t find it that amusing, but his lips are curved seeing his best friend’s smile.
Taehyung looks at Jungkook who is still recovering from the alleged joke. He waits for Jungkook to suck in the actuality of Taehyung is saying.
Jungkook’s jaw drops. “You’re serious?!” Taehyung nods, tilting his head to the side.
Did Jungkook seriously think Taehyung was joking?
Why would anyone put things in places they can’t even reach?
“Yes, Jungkook. I am.” Taehyung throws a look to Jungkook, and turns to the items. He gives up and lurches forward, grabbing onto the edge of the box.
What follows next is a blur.
His foot slips, the box falls. And he follows suit, very soon.
Taehyung’s vision disappears, only to become Jungkook’s face.
“Caught you.” Jungkook breathes.
Taehyung sees the effort in Jungkook’s muscles. And the panic in the features. Jungkook turns with Taehyung still in his hold to the bed.
“Are you okay?” Jungkook’s voice breaks with the syllables. Jungkook is checking Taehyung all over for injuries.
“You should have let me get them instead..”
“We’re literally the same height,” Taehyung protests, though a bit embarrassed by falling. There is a giddy voice in his head over falling into Jungkook’ s arms.
Was it because he fell into Jungkook’s safe hold? Or was it because he didn’t crash his head on the floor?
He has a very strong intuition that it is not the latter option.
“Still!” Jungkook pouts, pushing Taehyung’s hair back from his forehead. He leans down and places a kiss there.
Taehyung feels himself relax.
He had always hated forehead kisses. They were too wet. Too dramatic. Too much falsehood.
Jungkook’s lips are feather light on his skin. They’re a caress.
Taehyung wants more forehead kisses from Jungkook.
Taehyung wants to give Jungkook forehead kisses.
Taehyung looks at Jungkook who pulls back. It seems like Jungkook didn’t intend it as well.
“I’ll do the climbing for the rest of the day. Yeah?” Jungkook asks. Their fingers are intertwined. It’s warm like this.
Taehyung nods.
Jungkook watches Taehyung scruffle through his fridge. Taehyung was going to make dinner.
How successful would that be? Jungkook thinks it won’t be, at all.
But he likes looking at Taehyung, scratching his forehead in thought, and dropping texts to Jimin.
Taehyung is mumbling to himself something, and Jungkook thinks it’s enough torture for today, for his love.
Jungkook is sometimes more instinctive than he thinks he is.
“I’ll take care of dinner,” he whispers. Jungkook pulls Taehyung by the hips, and turns slightly waddling together to the dining table.
“Yah! Jeon Jungkook! I can cook!” Taehyung turns in the hold, and they are facing each other. An inch in front of each other. They are under the mistletoe Jungkook had hanged on the arc.
Taehyung’s lips part in a breath. A little swollen, and wet from all the chewing. Taehyung’s eyes fall on Jungkook’s lips. Jungkook feels his lips tingle at that.
Taehyung gasps as Jungkook leans in a bit, the little distance which needed to be erased. Their lips hover dangerously close. The swell of the bottom lips brush.
Jungkook pushes forward.
Taehyung has the softest lips. Just like he had dreamed for years.
It’s gentle, the kiss.
It’s rejuvenating.
Jungkook loses his senses at the electricity coursing through him.
They pull back.
Jungkook sees Taehyung panting, synching with his own lungs’ screaming. Eyes fluttering, lips spit painted, cheeks flushed.
It’s really tempting to Jungkook, who has been in love with this beautiful human for more than he-can-count number of years.
Taehyung closes his eyes, tilting his head down. Jungkook regrets his instincts, now. Taehyung is upset.
“Tae, I-”
“Just, Kiss me.” Taehyung surges forward. Fingers pull on Jungkook’s locks. A hand cups his jaw.
And Jungkook shuts off everything.
Taehyung finds that maybe he liked Jungkook more than a friend. Maybe he always knew it. Maybe he always denied it. Maybe he stopped himself from thinking about it.
He always knew he wasn’t as possessive over Jimin as he was with Jungkook. He didn’t snarl at girls smiling too widely at Jimin.
Taehyung thinks as he feels drunk from the simplest of kisses he has had in his life, he never saw Jungkook only as a friend.
And Jimin has been right all along.
Jungkook has a spell over Taehyung.
All the years of painful longing. All the years of memories. The unappalled inexplicable indignance.
It all makes sense now.
They pull away. Taehyung doesn’t want to. He has a feeling Jungkook doesn’t want to either.
Taehyung was never a biter when he kisses. He wasn’t very filthy in his kisses. Maybe he never trusted anyone to be as dirty as he wanted to be.
Now, Jungkook’s swollen, parted red lips look alluring. Taehyung tilts down a bit, and bites onto the mole under the bottom lip. It elicits a gasp from Jungkook. Jungkook’s fingers slip beneath the hem of Taehyung’s sweater.
Taehyung loses sight as his skin becomes alive under the slightest traces of finger pads.
Jungkook is looking at Taehyung like he wants more. And Taehyung is willing to give.
“I’M SO T-T!”
They jump apart.
Taehyung’s phone continues to blare the bubblegum pop song of the girl group they used to listen to together.
Even that group has disbanded.
Jungkook turns to the kitchen.
Taehyung answers the call. “Hello?” His voice is too raspy.
“Professor Kim! Can you please send me the folder again? I am unable to find it.”
They don’t talk about it. The kiss. And it hurts even more than the pain Jungkook has been carrying for years.
Jungkook makes a call he doesn’t need to make, just so he doesn’t have to be rejected. The call goes on for hours after he finishes cooking. Taehyung didn’t say anything.
Jungkook is talking too much nonsense, at this point he knows that Namjoon hyung will make a call in the morning for an explanation of too many decisions discussed over the phone overnight. It’s not a wise decision. Jungkook would just cancel them all in the morning.
Taehyung glances at him before he goes into his bedroom. Jungkook has his eyes trained on the clock on the wall for an hour, before he ends the call.
Jungkook takes the couch. He doesn’t have the strength to have Taehyung as a ‘friend’ in his arms in bed, now.
At this moment Jungkook regrets coming. Maybe December 23rd was never their day. Just the day that broke them apart.
Now, the pain and distance seems better.
The innate fear Jungkook had curdled for years was now closing around Jungkook’s lungs. He wished it would squeeze his heart. If it does, the pain would be so much shorter than the one he knows. He doesn’t have to struggle breathing in the pain.
But fear is unable to touch his heart, when it is not his, to begin with.
Jungkook doesn’t get a visit from Sleep. So, he does what he can. He cooks, and cleans around the house. It’s not much, but better than watching the ceiling become images of various ways Taehyung’s face would twist in distaste, or being reminded of the peaches he was forbidden for so long.
Jungkook picks up a book, and begins to read when Taehyung walks in sleepily. He stays far away from the sleepy beauty, just in case he comes to cuddle.
The day is difficult.
They have nowhere else to go. They are unable to talk to each other. Sleep is unforgiving, not at all blessing either of them with a wink of sleep. And it hurts too much.
Christmas eve is supposed to be happy, right?
Jungkook decides to make use of his cooking experiences under Jin hyung, and goes to whip out Christmas desserts. He had promised Christmas for Tehyung, after all.
“Jungkook,” Taehyung calls around six in the evening. It hurts to hear his name in such a hopeless flavour from Taehyung’s lips.
“Yeah?” Jungkook answers, still busying himself in the kitchen, his safe place today. Taehyung didn’t invade it as well.
Jungkook hears Taehyung sigh. “Can we talk, please?” Taehyung is at the entrance of the kitchen, peering through his lashes.
Jungkook wordlessly nods. Taehyung takes Jungkook by the hand to the bedroom.
Jungkook complies. He doesn’t want to upset Taehyung more than he already did.
They are lying on the bed, facing each other. Jungkook can feel the burn in his tear ducts. He absorbs the image of Taehyung lying like this. For, this may be the last time he gets to see Taehyung like this.
“Kookie,” Taehyung begins, hands under his cheek, looking at Jungkook. “The kiss…”
Jungkook gulps.
“Was it because of the mistletoe?” Taehyung’s voice is uncertain.
Jungkook doesn’t want to lie. Not to Taehyung. Not to his own heart.
“No.”
Jungkook closes his eyes, and sucks in breath.
“I’ve loved you for more than half my life, Taehyung,” Jungkook whispers, eyes closed. Lashes knitted together.
Jungkook loved him. Loves Taehyung.
“You just never saw me that way, and I didn’t want to lose you.” Jungkook chuckles, eyes even tighter. But then opens them, eyes blurred in moisture. “I lost you, almost, all for nothing.”
“I love you,” Jungkook whispers. Looking into Taehyung. Far deeper than Taehyung knew was possible. Far into parts Taehyung didn’t know existed.
“I know,” Jungkook gulped. “That you can’t perceive it. And I’ll understand if you don’t want me—”
Taehyung clutches onto the tufts of hair sprawled onto the pillow case. And pulls the rambling man to him.
He kisses like he had never done before. Don’t ask him what is different in kissing Jungkook. He doesn’t know.
But he knows. Knows it is Love. Love he wants. Wants too much. Much that his heart aches. Aches to simply call Jungkook his. His to be kissed, his to be cared for. For eternity. Eternity till Death.
His lips press into every miniscule delve they can find on the soft pink lips. Blindly reaching to slot themselves. To become one.
Is it passionate and hot? Is this real? Is this sensual?
He doesn’t want to ask.
He kisses till his Lungs pushes him away to purchase oxygen. Taehyung doesn’t want to let go. So he presses tiny brushes as he pants, and sucks in air. And then goes right back in.
“Tae..”
“Shut up,” Taehyung whimpers when Jungkook takes control. Lips pressed down his jaw. Nails tracing his very sensitive skin. Inked fingers pressed into his waist.
“We need to talk,” Jungkook, somehow, gets over Taehyung. “I am serious.” He says against the hollow of Taehyung’s neck. The cold metal of the lip piercing tantalizingly riling his heated skin. “I don’t want only now,” Jungkook moves to the side a bit, and scrapes his teeth on the juncture. “I want me as yours, forever. I want to mark you with hickies for the rest of my life.”
Jungkook pushes himself off of Taehyung. Taehyung wants to whine. But he knows what Jungkook says is important.
Taehyung closes his eyes, trying to gather his control. Only to feel the reminders of the make out, that had just been left on his skin. And the feel, the flush of skin against his own.
“Living room.” He says, eyes still closed. Because he knows he won’t focus, if they stay anywhere near the sheets, now.
Jungkook is sitting across from Taehyung, his back against the couch, cross-legged, on the floor. Taehyung sits a good distance away from him on the floor as well.
Taehyung is really distractive. His hair pulled and ruffled, face flushed still in the fossils of the past minutes, and loose t-shirt neckline plunging down opening collarbones that Jungkook so wants to paint a masterpiece with reds, blues, and purples.
Jungkook sits straight, forcing the gravity to act heavy on his back bone, something he does in boring board meetings to keep his concentration steady.
“So,” Taehyung says, head tilting to the side. “We are?”
Jungkook is confused now.
“Huh?”
“You love me. I love you.” Taehyung moves his forefinger, pointing to himself and Jungkook. “What’s next?”
“Oh!” Jungkook lets out. Still trying to process the words. ‘You love me….I love you?!’
“Wha..” Jungkook frowns his eyebrows. Yearly projection meetings are easier.
“Yeah,” Taehyung gets on his knees and crawls to Jungkook. The already horrible Tshirt now leaves Jungkook short-circuiting. “You see,” Taehyung sits on his hunches in front of Jungkook. “I have been sort of expecting you, in people I try to date.”
Taehyung places his palm on Jungkook’s thigh. But it isn’t sensual. It's an act of asking for trust. Jungkook fine tunes his hearing more.
“And…” Taehyung closes his eyes, to pull in more air. “I couldn’t find them, as the one to spend my entire life with.”
“But, you in two days. Two days, just pointed out why.”
Jungkook wants to believe this. This admission. This epiphany is a discourse of his heart. But there is a part in him negating his hope.
“I know, I didn’t love you as you had. For half my life. But I have.” Taehyung cups Jungkook’s cheeks. It's then that Jungkook realizes he is crying. Taehyung wipes tears with his thumbs. Pushing his nose to Jungkook’s.
They are breathing the same air.
“I have loved you for as long as you have, just, I never thought it was actually from a romantic perspective.”
“So, you’re rejecting me—”
“Kookie,” Taehyung shushes him, brushing his nose on the bridge of Jungkook’s. “I’m not rejecting you. I’m doing the opposite.”
Jungkook tilts his head a little, just to see those eyes. If it’s all true. If he’s actually here, and not stuck outside in the snowstorm and fever dreaming.
“I want to be with you,” Taehyung presses his cheeks against Jungkook’s tear stained ones. “I want all that you want.”
“I want to love you, just like you love me.”
And Jungkook breaks.
He pushes his face into the crook of Taehyung’s neck, wraps himself around his love.
And cries. Cries in overwhelming relief. Relief at acceptance. Acceptance of love. Love to Love.
After a while, it’s nearly midnight.
“I want something from Santa.” Taehyung says.
“And..what is that?” Jungkook asks, horse voices.
“A boyfriend.” Taehyung smiles, eyes happy and twinkling.
“Santa is on his way with just that.” Jungkook says chuckling.
And they laugh as the clock strikes twelve. No Santas tumble down the chimneys(there is no chimney to begin with) but they do get what they want.
“Wanna be my boyfriend?” Jungkook asks.
“I thought we already were!” Taehyung gasps, dramatic. “But, YES!”
There are no mistletoes in sight.
And they kiss.
Jimin comes back to find his best friends all couply, and lovey dovey. Making him whine for the lack of wingman credits.
The whines fall on deaf ears, as the new couple cuddle in front of the TV snuggled into each other.