Archive of Our Own

Roy Mustang was an observant man, that much was obvious to anyone who knew him. He noticed things about his subordinates and friends that typically went unnoticed by the untrained eye- things that went over the heads of everyone except Hawkeye, Maes, and maybe the Elric brothers, if they unstuck their noses from their research long enough to put the pieces together.

He liked to think he had his team all figured out.

Havoc, as much as he preached about wanting a “smokin’ hot girlfriend,” largely exaggerated his womanizer act- most likely as a defense mechanism or a disguise of sorts.

Falman was a nervous wreck under the mask he’d created to appear strong to the others, both inside and outside the military.

Fuery struggled with insecurities- lots of them- mostly stemming from his early recruitment into the military and the constant pressure he faced from his superiors to succeed in everything he did.

Breda was a genuinely friendly guy with a big heart who felt pressured to put up a facade of disinterest, which led to a strain on many of his personal relationships with people, especially his family and friends, who just didn’t understand what the life of a soldier was like.

Hawkeye carried a general air of distrust, most likely from the years of neglect and no doubt abuse she suffered at the hands of her father. He hadn’t noticed it at first- that’s how good she was at hiding it- but they’d known each other for most of their lives. There wasn’t much they could keep from each other.

Then, there were the Elric brothers.

Roy liked to think that he had them all figured out, but every so often, something would pop up that completely changed his view of the two.

Like the time that Havoc dragged a fuming Edward in by his collar, saying something about him breaking up a fight between him and a group of junior high students, which led to Roy finding out through Alphonse that Ed had often had to stand up for himself and Al in their childhood because they had been the targets of bullies. He hadn’t even considered that they had been bullied, but it made sense- according to Al, on his physical body, he had a scar on his scalp from being shoved into a desk, and Ed had marks on his left shoulder from a rebound- an attempt to stand up for Al using alchemy that he hadn’t fully understood at the time, which luckily hadn’t killed him and had only caused shards of the school’s blackboard to embed themselves into his outer layer of skin. He let Ed off the hook with a warning for that incident, but not before telling him that he didn’t always need to fight alone. Ed had brushed him off with a wave of curses, rubbing at his flesh shoulder as he sauntered out the door.

Or the time when Winry, Ed’s mechanic, came to repair his automail when he was fourteen, and told him and Riza over a cup of tea all about how close Ed and Al were with their mother. She told them about how Trisha, Urey, and Sarah- the parents of the three children- were like siblings, and how she basically saw Trisha as a second mother. It made sense to him, he supposed- after all, they had tried to bring her back to life- there had to be a reason for doing it. But suddenly, he felt himself struck with a certain sense of grief that he couldn’t quite place, and the next time he visited Resembool for a routine inspection, he paid his respects to a certain Trisha Elric’s final resting place, staring down at the well-kept gravestone and uttering an almost silent vow to watch over her sons in her absence.

Or the time when Ed got caught up in a brutally violent fight and wound up being put into a medically-induced coma for four days, Alphonse never once leaving his bedside despite the pleas of the doctors and several of Roy’s men. Roy learned that day just how intense their devotion to one another was.

Or the time when Alphonse started crying- or the closest thing an empty suit of armor could come to crying- and Ed immediately stopped in his research to come and comfort him, knocking on his chest with his automail hand and whispering words too quiet for Roy to hear. Roy learned that day just how compassionate Ed really was, and how caring he was toward his little brother.

But there were still things that… confused him.

Things that he couldn’t quite put words to, or explain in a way that made sense to him, or anyone, really.

Things that were just so uniquely them that they probably needed no explanation other than: “it’s just their little thing.”

Like the time Roy walked in to see Ed alone in his office, waiting for their meeting to start, rocking himself back and forth and brushing his fingers over the blanket he had draped over his lap. Roy had quickly gone back out to announce his "entrance," giving Ed ample time to throw the blanket back over the arm of the couch and still his movements.

Or the time Ed fell asleep on the couch in the office looking like death had warmed over, only to wake himself up thirty minutes later, gasping for air, paler than Roy had ever seen him look before. He'd gnawed at his flesh fingers for a few minutes, staring blankly at the floor, before he'd snapped himself out of it and stalked out of the room.

Or, perhaps most confusing of all- where Roy was stood at present, a few messy files tucked under his arm and a half-empty mug of coffee in his hand, staring blankly and a little uncomprehendingly at where Ed was curled up under his desk, eyes shut in what had to be the most peaceful sleep Roy had seen him get in weeks, the lower half of his face buried deep into the fabric of his travelling cloak, no doubt a defense against the biting cold of the office.

Why Ed had chosen underneath his desk as a prime napping spot, Roy had no idea. This had to be one of those “it’s just something the Elrics do” kind of moments, right? No other explanation needed.

Roy sighed, eyes sweeping over the rest of his men.

Fuery and Falman had gone home early, sick with what was probably a pretty standard flu virus. Havoc was sniffling suspiciously at his desk every few minutes, but insisted he could keep working, and who was Roy to keep a man from his job? Breda looked like he was working, but by the way his pen was moving, Roy wouldn’t have been surprised if he was doodling instead of actually working. Riza sat, diligently working away at her own assignments, not a tissue in sight, thank goodness. With her gone, the office would descend into pure, unbridled chaos.

Roy sighed again, this time catching the attention of those remaining in the office.

“Is something the matter?” Riza asked, sharp eyes landing on him.

“There seems to be a lump under my desk,” Roy answered, setting his mug and papers down. He didn’t dare sit for fear of disturbing Fullmetal- god knew the kid could use the extra rest- but he needed to figure out how to move him so he could actually do his work.

Breda peered over, then chuckled a little. “Ah, so that’s where he went.” At Roy’s questioning glance, he continued. “He came in a little while ago. Looked really out of it. He sat at your desk for a while- kinda just stared at us, didn’t really do much. Had to go back to work eventually so I stopped paying attention. Guess he never left.”

Roy snorted. “Well, can one of you move him? I don’t think I can work with him here.”

“Why don’t you just move your chair?” Havoc suggested, clearing his throat.

“I can’t, do you know how heavy that thing is?” Roy sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Just do your work at Fuery’s desk or something,” Breda shrugged, “lower yourself to the level of your subordinates for the day.”

“Yeah, c’mon chief, it won’t be that bad,” Havoc grinned before he reached for another tissue.

Roy rolled his eyes. “You’re all lucky I keep you on as my men.”

“You like us too much to let us go,” Breda chuckled, twirling his pen on the back of his hand.

Roy sighed, transferring a stack of papers to Falman’s desk. “Unfortunately.”

“Aww, boss! You love us!” Havoc laughed, throwing his tissue into the trash can next to his chair.

Roy rolled his eyes.

“Actually, I kinda wanna see what the kid looks like when he’s not angry,” Havoc said, pushing his chair back to stand up.

“Yeah, me too,” Breda chuckled, “he’s always so mad all the time, I don’t think I’ve ever seen him when he isn’t mad.”

“You’d better not be using this as an excuse to procrastinate on your work,” Riza warned, turning her gaze on them as they made their way over to the sleeping teenager.

“Us? Of course not!” Havoc grinned, waving his hand, “we’ll go right back to work, promise!”

“I’ll take your word for it. Colonel? You too.”

“As if I’d stoop to the level of these idiots,” Roy muttered, pushing his seat back and sitting down.

“Aww, he’s so cute!” Breda gushed. Roy rolled his eyes, opening a file and pulling out some work he’d had transferred over from the Investigations Department.

“He kinda is,” Havoc agreed, “he’s all curled up, kinda reminds me of a dog.”

“He looks more like a cat. Or a really cute weasel.”

“You both will look like pulverized meat if you don’t shut up and start doing your work soon,” Roy vaguely threatened, not even bothering to turn around to acknowledge their idiocy.

“Yeesh, way to ruin our fun, chief. Fine, fine, whatever you…” Havoc trailed off.

Roy frowned. Havoc usually never shut up, especially if someone got him going.

“What?” Breda asked. There was a creak in the wooden floorboards as Breda presumably leaned over to look at whatever Havoc had found. Roy turned around slightly, but couldn’t see whatever they were looking at. The desk was blocking his view.

“Is… is he sucking his thumb?” Breda asked, sounding incredulous.

“I think so?” Havoc spluttered, sounding equally as confused.

“Enough,” Riza said, tone louder and more assertive this time, “both of you, go back to work.”

There was a brief pause before either of them acknowledged that she had said anything.

“Alright,” Breda muttered, going back to his desk.

“Wait,” Havoc said, standing up, his brow furrowing, “isn’t this, like, at least a little weird to you guys?”

“It’s not our place to judge Fullmetal,” Roy cut in, “go back to work, Havoc.”

Havoc took one last look at Ed before he conceded, going back over to his desk like Breda had before him.

Admittedly, Roy did find it a little strange. He’d never known a teenager who sucked their thumb before. But there was definitely an explanation. It could have been a bad habit he’d never outgrown. Maybe he was dreaming about a time in his childhood when he did suck his thumb. Maybe he did it for comfort- sucking on things was a comforting motion, after all. Even he found it soothing sometimes to put pencaps between his teeth or bite his lip. Or maybe it was all a misunderstanding- Breda and Havoc hadn’t been completely sure, after all, so it was completely possible that they’d seen things the wrong way. Maybe Ed had just had his hand tucked up against his face in such a way that it looked like he was sucking his thumb.

There were definitely explanations. That didn’t mean Roy was ever going to ask him about it outright- that ran the risk of going horribly, horribly wrong in so many different ways- but maybe he could just sit back and observe for now. See where all of this lead.

After another hour or so of nothing but filling out documents and signing papers, Riza stood, signaling the end of the day.

“Alright, you two can leave,” he dismissed the others. “Havoc, go home and rest.”

“Me?”

“You’re coming down with whatever Fuery and Falman have. Don’t let it get worse over the weekend, got it?”

“Got it.”

“Uh, sir? What about the kid?” Breda asked, gathering his things.

“Hm? What about him?”

“Well, you’re not just gonna leave him there, are you?”

“Alphonse should be back from the library in about a half an hour. I’ll stay here and wait until he’s back.”

“Alright, as long as you don’t lock him in here or something,” Breda chuckled, slinging his coat over his shoulder. “See ya.”

“I’ll see you two on Monday,” he nodded curtly.

After the two left, he sighed, standing from his chair and making his way over to the desk. Riza followed, a silent agreement to lend a hand if necessary.

“Sir?” she asked, kneeling down on the floor a few feet back. “Is he alright?”

Roy reached out to press a hand to brush back the kid’s bangs, then pressed the back of his palm against Ed’s forehead, just to check his temperature. “Well, he’s not running a fever, so that’s good at least,” he muttered, keeping his voice lower now that the two were closer to the sleeping kid.

“Do you think he’s been overworking himself?”

“Most likely,” he sighed, sitting back on his heels, “you know Fullmetal. Never takes a break unless someone physically forces him to.”

Riza gave a fond chuckle, pushing the chair out of the way with a bit of effort so she could fit herself in next to Roy.

“Hm,” she said, sounding like she’d found something interesting.

“What is it?”

“Havoc and Breda were right,” she answered quietly. She wordlessly pulled Ed’s collar down to reveal that the kid had his left thumb tucked away in his mouth. It was… oddly cute, in a way. Roy would have never admitted that out loud, but in his head, it felt like the right term to put to the strange tugging sensation he suddenly felt in his chest.

“You know,” Riza said, letting go of the kid’s collar so she could rest her hand on the side of Edward’s head, “it isn’t uncommon for victims of trauma to want to relive their childhoods.”

“How do you mean?”

She kept her gaze on the kid, who suddenly seemed a lot younger than fifteen with his thumb stuck in his mouth, curled up into a little ball, quietly dozing away underneath his desk. “I know of a lot of people who have sort of… regressed, in a sense. Many return to habits or behaviors they had as children, especially in times of stress.” She stroked her hand through his hair. Ed let out a content sigh, giving his thumb a few languid sucks. “Returning back to those things that gave them comfort can help them through hard times.”

Roy stared down at the slumbering child, pondering over his Lieutenant’s words.

“And you think that’s what Ed’s doing?”

“I’m almost certain, Roy.” She paused a moment. “I’ve noticed… other things as well. Haven’t you noticed how much more tactile he becomes under times of stress?”

He had noticed that. Whether it was simply knocking on Alphonse’s armor, cuddling up with that mechanic of his, or exchanging friendly touches with Roy’s men, Ed always seemed to be a lot more touchy with people, especially when he was stressed out or under pressure. Roy thought back to when the kid fell asleep on his shoulder after his state alchemist re-examination a few months prior.

To answer her question, he simply nodded.

“And how his speech becomes impeded at times?”

Roy frowned. That wasn’t something he’d taken notice of, but now that he thought about it… there were definitely times when Ed had a slight slur to his words, or spoke with a lisp, or raised the pitch of his voice just a bit, or cut out a few words or syllables. No particular event came to mind, but Roy thought back to all the times when Ed tended to slur his speech when tired- a sure sign that he’d worked himself too hard and needed a break. Those were the times that Alphonse tended to swoop in and cart him off to bed, and usually, Ed had no qualms with that. Yet another peculiarity.

“I have noticed that, now that you mention it.” He turned back to Ed, who was no longer moving around quite so much. “So, you think he… returns to his childhood?”

“Yes.”

“To… why exactly?”

Riza sighed, her head dipping down a bit in an uncharacteristic show of emotion. “If I had to guess, I’d say it’s a mix of trauma and stress. You know as well as I what kind of childhood the Elrics went through. It’s a miracle he hasn’t turned to unhealthy coping mechanisms instead.”

Roy thought it over, then came to the conclusion that she was right. Damn, she was always right. After the war, Roy had turned to alcohol to numb his emotions, as had several other soldiers he had known. He knew countless others who lost themselves to self harm, drugs, violence, or who threw themselves into their work, all in an effort to cope in their own, self-destructive ways. Positive coping mechanisms that actually worked were few and far between, and if Ed had managed to find one that actually worked, then who was Roy to judge him for it?

“I suppose you’re right, Riza.”

Riza let out a breathy laugh, then scooped Ed into her arms, automail limbs and all. Ed’s thumb remained firmly planted in his mouth, the kid not even stirring at the movement. Riza amazed him sometimes. How she was even strong enough to get him off the ground, let alone walk with him, he’d never know.

Without a word, Riza brought Ed over to the couch, setting him down and covering him with the slightly tattered throw blanket they kept slung over the back. One of these days he was going to have to replace it with something better. Ed reached out in his sleep, grasping onto the hem of Riza’s shirt as soon as she made a move to stand up. Riza gave a fond sigh and sat back down, placing a hand back in his hair and weaving her fingers through the golden strands.

“If you could move him this entire time, why didn’t you just move him before?” Roy grumbled, definitely not slightly peeved that Ed had chosen Riza over him.

“I had work to complete,” Riza said, never letting up in her gentle stroking, “I don’t enjoy distractions.”

“He was under my desk,” he deadpanned, “one would say that was a pretty major distraction.”

“I could keep a better eye on you from Falman’s desk,” Riza replied, closing her eyes to hide the mischievous twinkle they had no doubt taken on.

Roy rolled his eyes, settling down on the other end of the couch. Ed was luckily curled up even smaller than he normally was, so Roy had no problems fitting onto the cushion. He glanced up at the clock on the wall- ten after. Twenty more minutes with the kid until Al got there and they could hand him off to his brother to deal with instead.

After about five more minutes, Ed began to stir, wiggling around a little. He mumbled something around his thumb, snuggling deeper into the couch cushion, and tightened his hold on Riza’s uniform. His eyes opened just the tiniest bit, and Roy braced for the worst- no doubt a barrage of screaming and swearing would follow, and Riza would have to do a hell of a lot of damage control, and-

“Mm?”

“Hey, look who’s up,” Riza said, a hint of fondness in her voice. She reached out and stroked his cheek with her thumb, just once, then held her hand there. He leaned into the touch.

Ed looked around, thumb still securely tucked into his mouth. His eyes were hooded, so he definitely wasn’t aware of much at all. Maybe the screaming could be held off for a few more minutes if they were lucky.

“Feel any better?” Riza asked, her hand never leaving his cheek.

Ed nodded, blinking slowly, as if trying to process his surroundings. His hand clenched, then unclenched, the fabric of Riza’s uniform. He garbled something around his thumb, too unintelligible to make out.

“What was that?”

Ed took his thumb out of his mouth, uncaring of the line of drool connecting the digit with his lips. “Mama?” he asked, his voice impossibly small. He struggled to sit up, lip wobbling as he looked around. “Mama?”

“Your mom’s not here right now, sweetheart,” Riza answered, helping him keep his balance.

Ed caught sight of Roy, his eyes glossing over, and for a moment, Roy almost thought he was going to burst into tears. Imagine his shock when, instead of that, the kid reached out for him, abandoning his death grip on Riza’s shirt, whimpering sadly.

“Uh…” Roy was more than willing to accept childish behaviors from his subordinate, but even this was crossing the line for him. What was he supposed to do?! He was terrible with kids! He had no idea how to act around them! Was Ed even a kid? Actually, he technically was because he was only fifteen, but- was he technically a younger kid? Was this an act? Or was he genuinely like, a little kid? Because he definitely seemed upset enough to-

Oh god he was doing little grabby hands. Roy was weak to grabby hands. Curse Hughes and all the times he’d passed Elicia off to him to hold when she was a baby.

“Uh, shit, don’t cry,” Roy stammered when Ed’s eyes started to water. He reached out and plucked the kid up from his spot, hands secure under his armpits like how he would hold any other child. He acted purely on semi-awkward instincts, like how he had when he’d held Elicia not all that long ago, and wound up with a near-crying fifteen year old with [very heavy] automail limbs in his lap. He looked over to Riza for help, eyes wide in panic.

“What the hell do I do?!” he hissed, stiff as a board.

“Just treat him like any other child,” Riza said, keeping her calm as she always did. She shifted further onto the couch, scooting over so she was sitting next to them. “Don’t be so tense, relax a little.”

Roy forcibly untensed his muscles, taking in a shuddery breath as he attempted to calm himself. Just view him as any other child. He could do that, right?

He looked down into Ed’s glossy golden eyes, wide with so much fear and vulnerability at the same time, and suddenly, all the tension was just… gone. He shifted the kid in his lap, turning him around so they were face-to-face. Ed blinked at the sudden movement, but he didn’t seem to mind all too much, content to just sit there and look into Roy’s eyes.

“There you go,” Riza encouraged, a gentle smile tugging at the very corners of her lips.

“Is he really, like, an actual kid right now?” Roy asked, adjusting his grip on the kid so he wouldn’t slide off his lap.

“I’m guessing so,” Riza nodded.

“You think this is the first time it’s happened?”

“Far from it. Most likely it’s something he keeps rather private. Would you want your boss knowing about your most vulnerable secret, Roy?”

Roy looked from Riza’s stare to the boy in his lap, then sighed. “I see your point.”

Ed whined a bit, shoving his thumb back into his mouth and pressing his face against Roy’s shoulder. Roy rubbed his back, closing his eyes and leaning back against the couch.

“Mama?” he garbled around his thumb, peeking up at Roy through his bangs.

“Your mom’s not here right now, remember?” Roy answered, a little uncomfortable. Did Ed not know his mom was dead, or did he just not understand at the moment? It was probably the latter. He doubted he had any actual memory loss- it was likely just some form of confusion that happened when he was switching between… what was he even supposed to call this? A state of mind? That worked, he supposed. Likely his memories just got jumbled when he was switching ages. If there was memory loss, that was a bit more concerning, but nothing that couldn’t be dealt with.

Ed let out a miserable whimper. “Bubba?”

“Who-?”

“Is he asking about Alphonse?” Riza suggested.

Ed raised his head from Roy’s shoulder, looking over at Riza. He whimpered around his thumb, clearly looking for his brother. “Bubba,” he cried, tears welling up and streaming down his cheeks.

“Ohh, no, none of that,” Riza hushed, reaching over to pluck him from Roy’s arms. Ed whined at the movement, but once he realized that Riza had a blanket, he was much more willing to go to her. “There we go,” she soothed, petting his hair with one hand and smoothing the other down his back, “there’s no need to cry. Al will be here before you know it.”

“Mith Bubba,” Ed whispered, speech adorably lisped- by the finger shoved in his mouth or his state of mind, Roy wasn’t sure, but it was cute either way.

“I know you miss him,” Riza cooed, draping the blanket over his shoulders, “but he’ll be here in just a few minutes.”

Ed settled down after a few more minutes of soft crying and gentle reassurances from Riza, content to suck on his thumb and stare at Roy. His cheek was pressed against Riza’s shoulder, which meant he had a good view of the Colonel. Roy gave him the kindest smile he could muster- which, to be honest, he wasn’t sure actually was even remotely kind-looking- but it must have looked kind enough to Ed, because he grinned around his thumb and wiggled in Riza’s lap.

“There we go,” Riza smiled, “there’s a happy little boy.”

Ed giggled- giggled! When did the Fullmetal Alchemist giggle?!- and gave another grin around his thumb.

Oh god, that put emotions in Roy’s chest that he didn’t want to name. What if he started developing connections to his subordinates?! God knew they couldn’t have that.

Luckily, before his crisis could progress any further, a certain seven foot tall, completely hollow suit of armor chose that exact moment to come in, already rambling about his day.

“Hi, Brother! Are you ready to go home? I found some leads on the Philosopher’s Stone, I think I might have finally managed to find something in one of those books- something about a branch of alchemy they practice in Aerugo- oh, hi Lieutenant, Colonel- um, what’s going on?”

“Hello Alphonse,” Riza greeted kindly.

“You might want to have a seat somewhere,” Roy gestured vaguely, crossing his arms over his chest and one leg over another.

Al looked on in what could only be described as disbelief. Ed started squirming the moment he laid eyes on his brother, thumb popping out of his mouth so he could reach both arms out for his mentally older brother.

“Oh, you slipped, didn’t you?” Al sighed, so quiet it might as well have been a whisper. He helped Ed out of Riza’s lap, sitting down on the floor so that Ed could climb onto his own lap, and looked down. “How did you- I mean- how did Brother-?”

“How did we find out?” Roy filled in for the stuttering fourteen year old.

Al nodded. Ed fiddled with the string of his loincloth, bouncing obliviously on his brother’s lap. Al sighed, gently prying his brother’s hands away, and reached into his brother’s coat pockets. He pulled out a small beaded bracelet and handed it to Ed, letting the kid fiddle with it to his heart’s content while they had their more adult discussion right in front of him.

“He came in a while ago, looking completely exhausted,” Riza began recounting, “he fell asleep under the Colonel’s desk. We found him with his thumb in his mouth. I brought him over to the couch so he’d be more comfortable, and he woke up in a regressed mindset.”

Leave it to the Lieutenant to explain things a million times more efficiently than he ever could.

Al nodded, looking at his brother. “I should have noticed how tired he was before,” he lamented, “he said he wanted to deliver a report, then go finish some paperwork. I didn’t realize he was doing that badly. And I’m sorry I wasn’t here for him and that I put you two in a place where you were made to care for him.”

“Nonsense,” Riza said, her voice stern, but compassionate. “You’re not responsible for looking after him all the time, let alone knowing how he feels, especially when he refuses to tell you. This was in no way your fault.” Her gaze softened a bit. “Besides, it was enjoyable to look after him, even if it was only for a little while.”

“R-really?”

“I mean it.”

“Oh,” Al blinked, stunned into silence, “we… this…” He paused. “We’ve had people. Lots of people. Tell Ed he was… bad. For being childish, or being not mature enough for his age. It’s… it's a little weird hearing that you don’t mind it.”

“Of course we don’t,” Roy assured him. “As Riza was telling me earlier, it’s a completely normal response to traumatic or stressful circumstances. You two have seen your share, that’s for sure. Rest assured, we won’t judge you for this.”

Al seemed to deflate, letting out a sigh of relief. “Oh, thank you. That means a lot. I know Brother’s been really worried about it. It means a lot to know he has some people he can rely on other than me.”

Riza furrowed her brow. “Are you his only caretaker?”

There was a pause. Ed seemed to take notice, looking up. He reached up, patted Alphonse on the head, and went back to playing with his bracelet. Al let out a fond sigh.

“Yeah. I’ve been looking after him for… I’m not sure how long. Maybe six years? That seems about right.”

“It’s been going on that long?” Roy asked.

Al nodded, then hesitated. “It’s been happening a lot longer than that, actually. Brother’s always been a slow developer. Fast to learn, slow to age, that’s what Mom always said. I didn’t start taking care of him until he actually started going into his headspace fully, though. I think that was about the time we started training under Teacher.”

Roy picked up on one of the words Al used in particular. “Is that the word for it? Headspace?”

Al shrugged. “That’s the one we’ve been using. It describes it pretty well. We’ve heard a lot of others too. I think the official term would be… let’s see… I mean, it’s technically a regression of maturity and development, so I guess developmental regression? Or age regression? That seems like a better fit for it. But either way, it all means the same thing.”

Riza hummed. Roy mulled over his words. Ed let out an incomprehensible string of babbles and smacked his hand against the hardwood floor.

“Hey, none of that,” Al gently chided, “you’re gonna hurt yourself if you do that.”

Ed pouted, sticking his thumb back into his mouth.

“There’s a flu going around, right?” Al questioned. Roy nodded. “C’mon, you shouldn’t be sucking your thumb.” He tried tugging Ed’s thumb out of his mouth, but the boy stubbornly refused. Al eventually gave a sigh of defeat, letting him continue drooling around his finger to his heart’s content.

“Guess we’ll just have to get your paci when we get back, huh?” Al said with a hint of fondness in his tone.

“He has a pacifier?” Roy asked- not out of disgust, but genuine curiosity.

Al nodded. “I transmuted it for him. Usually they’re made for actual babies, and he doesn’t like the feel of them. So I made him a couple. I usually don’t keep them on me because he doesn’t slip in public, but as luck would have it, here we are.”

“So, how young is he then?” Roy questioned further.

Al thought on the question for a moment. “I don’t really know,” he said, “I’ve never put an age to it. I usually just give him what he needs and that’s that.”

Riza crossed one leg over the other, looking down at Ed. “If I had to guess,” she began, “I’d place him at about fourteen to eighteen months.”

“That young?” Al murmured, looking down at his brother. Ed, oblivious to the conversation, giggled around his thumb. Roy couldn’t help but feel slightly odd at the uncharacteristic behavior from the kid. It wasn’t a bad kind of off- it was just… different from what he knew the kid to act like.

“It’s the range I feel best suits his current behavioral patterns,” Riza explained. “Limited speech, dependence on his caregivers, and most likely the inability to walk, but the ability to crawl and move around.”

“You seem to know a lot about this,” Roy raised an eyebrow.

“I’ve spent some time around kids. Naturally, I’ve picked up on some of their behavioral patterns.”

Somehow, Roy felt as if she wasn’t telling the full truth, but he let it go for now. They could talk more about it later, if it was really that important.

Ed shook the bracelet, making a disgruntled noise, then threw it across the room. Al sighed, making a move to push his brother off his lap and retrieve the object, but Roy stopped him before he could get further than securing his hands under Ed’s arms.

“I’ll get it, you stay put,” he said, standing. He winced as his knees popped from the movement, but continued on across the room, searching along the perimeter until he found the rejected object.

“Oh, thank you Colonel,” Al said, reaching out for the bracelet. He tucked it back into his brother’s coat pocket and relaxed again. Roy nodded, choosing to remain standing instead of sitting back down on the couch.

Ed whined when he saw him, reaching up and bouncing a little in place. Roy blinked, a bit confused.

“I think he wants you to pick him up,” Al explained, “that’s what he usually does when he wants me to.”

“Oh. I’m not sure I can, but I’ll try,” he said, bending over and hooking his hands under Ed’s armpits as he did before. Ed wiggled around, but once Roy managed to heft him into his arms, he quieted quite a bit.

“There we go,” he soothed, not really sure where the words were coming from, but letting them pour out of his mouth nonetheless, “settle down.”

And surprisingly, Ed did. His whimpers softened, though he never stopped squirming around. It was hard to balance his weight in his arms, but he’d held heavier things before, so he knew he could manage for at least a few minutes. He grunted as he shifted Ed onto his hip, relieving some of the pressure from his arms.

“He’s a heavy little guy, isn’t he?” he shook his head fondly, careful to keep Ed balanced on his hip.

“That would be the automail,” Al said, a bit of humor in his voice. “Brother’s not that heavy, but his automail weighs about thirty-five pounds each.”

“How does he carry around so much weight?”

“He’s Brother,” Al said. If he had a body, Roy was sure he’d be smiling. “He can do basically anything.”

Roy let out a huff of laughter. “I suppose you’re right, Alphonse.”

Ed looked up at Roy, eyes wide. Roy stared back at him. The kid cocked his head to the side. Roy poked him on the nose. Ed pouted, nose scrunching up, grabbed his wrist, and shoved three of Roy’s fingers into his mouth.

“Brother!” Al gasped, standing up. “You can’t do that!”

Roy snorted. “Don’t worry, my hands are clean.”

Riza raised a brow. “When was the last time you washed them, Colonel?”

“About an hour ago, thank you very much.”

“You do know there’s a virus going around, correct?”

“And he’s had his own fingers shoved in his mouth for the last two hours. If he’s gonna catch anything, he’s already caught it.”

Riza leveled him with a glare, then let up, shaking her head with a hint of fondness. “One of these days that mindset’s going to get you in a lot of trouble, sir.”

“It already has, believe me,” he grumbled. He decided to detach his fingers from Ed’s mouth, replacing them with his own thumb when he started whining.

“I think he might need to go down for a nap soon,” Alphonse said, stepping closer to look over his brother, “he’s starting to get pretty fussy.”

“He just woke up not too long ago. Shouldn’t that much sleep be unhealthy?”

Ed’s whining only continued to grow louder. Roy shushed him, swaying him in his arms.

“Brother needs to sleep a lot,” Al explained, “I’m not sure why, but he usually needs anywhere between sixteen to eighteen hours of sleep per day in order to function normally.”

“That can’t be healthy,” Roy frowned. Riza nodded in agreement.

“We think it’s a medical condition. We’ve never gotten a diagnosis, but one of the doctors in Resembool thought it was Narcolepsy.”

“I suppose that makes sense.” Riza swapped hesitant looks with Roy. Clearly, they both still had their doubts.

“Whatever it is, it just makes him a lot sleepier than normal,” Al said, “as far as we know, it’s not dangerous.”

“That’s all well and good, but I’d still like him to be looked over by one of the military doctors,” Roy said, adjusting Ed when one of his arms began to tingle.

“That would be great if you could set him up with one. He’ll raise a fuss about it, but it’ll be good for him to get it looked at.”

“I agree,” Roy nodded. “Now, do you want help taking him home?”

“Oh, uh- I can get him home myself-”

“I asked if you wanted help, Alphonse.”

The younger hung his head. “That would be great, Colonel. Thank you.”

“Of course.”

“I’m always scared of hurting Brother, ‘cus I don’t really know how rough I’m being, and when he’s like this, it’s not like he can really tell me, you know?” Al whispered, his armor shaking a little. “And putting him inside my armor feels cruel.”

“I understand,” Roy sympathized. If he could, he would have put a hand on his shoulder. “We’ll give you two a ride home, don’t worry.”

“I’ll go pull the car around, sir,” Riza said, already slinging her bag over her shoulder.

“Thanks, Lieutenant.”

“Of course.”

As soon as she left, Roy turned to Al.

“Ready to head back?”

“Yeah.”

“Do you need any help once we get back? We’d be happy to help out if you need it.”

“Um… I guess just carrying him inside,” Al said, “I can do the rest myself, it just takes a little extra time.”

“You’re sure you can handle it?”

“Colonel. I’ve been looking after him for six years. I’m sure.”

Roy smiled. “I wouldn’t expect any less. Now come on, let’s go.”

“Wait!”

“Hm?”

“Won’t people get suspicious if they see Ed, you know…?”

“What are you talking about, Alphonse? He hurt his leg, and I’m simply being a good Samaritan and giving him a lift back home.”

“O-oh. Yeah, that makes sense.”

Roy smirked. “Doesn’t hurt that I can court martial anyone who tries to insult him.”

“Colonel!”

“Come on Alphonse, let’s go.”

“R-right!”

Was it weird, carrying a fifteen year old kid with the mentality of a one year old child in his arms? Yeah, it definitely was.

But he couldn’t say that he didn’t feel some kind of pull whenever Ed looked up at him with those big golden eyes of his, or stuck his thumb in his mouth, or tried to talk and ultimately failed.

It was strange, but endearing at the same time.

As he always said, sometimes it was just impossible to put words to the things that the Elrics did. They were just a whole different breed of human. And goddamn, if Roy wasn’t going to tag along to see where they would end up.

He definitely had no reason to do it. None at all. It was just a feeling he had- that little tug in his chest whenever he looked at either of the brothers. The feeling he couldn’t put words to- enjoyed and loathed at the same time for reasons he couldn’t explain. It was the same feeling he had whenever Hughes gushed about Elicia.

Strange. Maybe he’d figure it out someday.