Work Text:
The sun slowly slipped through the breath of space between the blinds, coating a small sliver of Ash’s bare shoulder in gentle warmth. Birds chirped in a rhythm only they knew and sang until they stirred Ash enough for him to crack an eye- just a crack to see the center of the black swirl of Eiji’s hair. He had always been selfish in the mornings, especially when he knew that if he pulled the sheets just right under his chin, slightly over Eiji’s head he could steal a few extra moments- another hour if the stars remained in his favor.
However, it felt as if only seconds have passed when his eyes are opened again, but this time, to the soft kiss of Eiji’s fingertips along the two birthmarks that have slowly appeared just under his collarbone. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.” Brown didn't flicker to meet jade, but Ash was sure they were riddled with sleep and love and every shared secret in their universe.
Ash’s voice scratched along sandpaper as he grumbled a sound of protest, before shaking his head as much as the pillow and a slightly crooked neck would allow. “Good morning.” It was barely a breath loud, and if Eiji wasn’t an atom away he most likely wouldn’t have heard it.
“Good morning, Ash,” Eiji responded just as softly, like a child making a wish into their praying hands; like if he spoke any louder it would shatter the little bubble they’ve created for themselves in the too-early hours of the morning. “Did you sleep?” His voice raised in question, and he spoke slowly- his brain telling his tongue that it was too early to be translating anything into English, so the best he could manage was heavily accented short sentences. Eiji never met Ash’s eyes and continued to play connect-the-dots between birthmarks, scars, and fading freckles that adorned Ash’s chest.
The arm curled around Eiji’s waist now sat light on his shoulders as calloused fingers carded through slightly too long, ink-black strands. Eiji melted at the touch, letting out the smallest shudder of breath as his eyes fluttered shut, long lashes fanned out along the pink apples of his cheeks. it was only a few shared breaths and sacred moments between them before Eiji finally pulled his head back and looked Ash in the eye. ”You slept bad?” His voice was so soft, Ash could feel his heart clench and blossom with the worry, concern, and love that laced itself in the Japanese boy’s voice.
Ash couldn’t help the smile that slipped past every urge to suppress it, and used his hand that was curled at the base of Eiji’s neck to bring him closer, closer— closer . Lips pressed against Eiji’s forehead, silent thanks shared with the simple, oh so heartbreakingly domestic, act. “I slept fine,” Ash mumbled the words right into the warm skin of Eiji’s forehead, took his hand from where it sat on the older’s neck, and brought it around to cup his cheek, a delicate thumb slid under wild fringe and soothed the hairs of bushy eyebrows. “You woke up late today, old age is finally getting to you.”
Eiji scoffed, the rush of air hitting the soft dip in between Ash’s collarbones, and turned onto his back and stretched. “We are only a year apart Ash, please.”
The temperature of Ash’s palm got cooler with every passing nanosecond, and he decided it needed to be back on Eiji in some way- any way. So it sat right on the bend of his knee, skin warm and supple. Ash held it firm as Eiji twisted, back popping like the tiny sparklers they lit their first New Year together. “I don’t know”, Ash’s voice was far too light and carried in a teasing song, “-my bones don’t sound like that. We must run on different time wavelengths, Ei-chan .” His taunts were enunciated with the curl of his fingers in the bed of Eiji’s knee; ticklish. It got him a shriek of laughter, a shove, and the natural quickness of an insult wrapped in a native tongue. Ash laughed, far too loud for morning, it expanded their little paradise from the space between their lips to a bubble that surrounded the bed.
“You know I hate when you call me that,” Eiji grumbled, cheeks kissed with color while brown eyes that told the truth of his statement, almost as if saying- I like the way you say it a little too much- I just can’t help the way I can’t hide how much I like it. His leg situated itself between the warmth of Ash’s and gently brushed his foot against the blond’s cold ones. “Do you have something to do today?” Eiji’s voice was back to being gentle, trying to pull back their time and jokes back in, keep the bubble safe and small, too tiny to pop- wake them up. “I can’t imagine why else you would be up this early.”
It was supposed to be a tease, but it sounded too clipped and too sad and there wasn’t any twinkles dancing in brown and Ash’s heart hurts because if he could have this at 7:23 every morning he would make himself a morning person and smile at every chirping bird and blow kisses to the sun in thanks.
“You can’t?” Ash’s face was screwed up in an expression that never failed to make Eiji smile; lips pressed together to resemble a duck, thin eyebrows pulled together; mocking the models in the ‘behind the camera’ segments of Jessica’s magazines, the ones Max always shows them when they needed a laugh. “You can’t imagine me wanting to enjoy my day off?”Ash gasped and it sounded so horribly fake he could have been casted in some cheap horror and won an award- “you want me to work myself to the bone?”, another exaggerated gasp, “Eiji Okumura- you wound my delicate soul!” The back of his hand was pressed against his forehead in theatrics and his laugh was stifled while Eiji’s filled the room, loud and open, and so lovely.
Eiji slowly quieted down, the occasional chuckle slipping past naturally blushed lips and the sheet was pulled up to shoulders again, like he was keeping that moment under the blanket to giggle at again whenever he needed. “I didn’t know gang leaders could have days off.” A dark eyebrow quirked, like even it knew that wasn’t possible. “Did you put in a request?”, he adjusted glasses that weren’t there, “...will you be using holiday time, Mr. Lynx?”
Ash rolled his eyes as a smile tugged at his lips. He lightly pushed at Eiji’s chest and squeezed when Eiji brought his hand up and laced their fingers together. “There’s a lot of activity going on right now, Dino’s hired some new men” Voice hushed and deep in seriousness, not wanting to speak too loudly. The fear of tainting the sacred moments they shared with the ugliness of brick alleyways and bought out cops. Ash decided to just stop what he was saying, he knew Eiji would worry and offer to help in anyway he could and Ash refuses to think about Eiji and Dino in the same sentence, room- universe- ever again. “We’ve got some guys on look out and they'll report back either late tonight or early tomorrow morning.”
Ash wished he could have pretended not to notice the way Eiji seemed to shrink at the idea of Ash having to leave at some point in the night or this not happening again tomorrow morning. He provided another squeeze, wanting desperately to bring them both back under the covers. “Plus, it’s Alex's kid sister’s birthday, so he’s out giving her a present and probably buying her some ice cream or something like that.”
“I didn’t know Alex had a sister.” Eiji’s eyes had widened and a small smile tugged the corners of his lips into something beautiful. “Is that why he asked me about my sister and what stuff she likes?” The smile fell into something a little sad but loving and Ash knew he was thinking about the younger Okumura who was probably tossing around in her futon or gushing to her friends about some boy or waiting by the phone for the next time Eiji could find a spot in the house quiet enough to call without the messy plans of gang violence being overheard. “He seems like an older brother, too. Definitely the most level headed one out of all of you-” Normally wide eyes, blink into something teasy before rolling into feigned ignorance. “ Especially a grump ol’ blond.”
That in itself earned Eiji a pillow to his face, cold feet pressed to the always warm skin of tan thighs, and quick pinches to his sides, which drew out a slew of girlish shrieks and laughter that could wake the dead. Ash couldn’t bring himself to be mindful of how early it was, or who may have been crashing on the couch or opening the fridge to finish the last bit of milk straight from the carton. This moment-- the endless series of these moments-- was something he wanted with Eiji, something he so selfishly craved at any point of the day- at every point of every day. He couldn’t let it slip through on soapy heels, he felt like a child hiding their new toy or the last cookie. This was the one thing he needed for himself, so he brought it back between them.
“Apparently she wants to be a big shot lawyer or something like that.” Ash had tossed ‘ something like that ’ as if he couldn’t bet his whole life on it and survive. Because the way Alex always came back to the bunker-- so torn but so proud; the way he grumbles that she ‘wants to put the bad guys away just like big bro does’ around the mouth of a water bottle always filled Ash with something hollow. Alex had only made a few wrong choices, found a group of guys he could run with and call his own and this is where he is. He said life isn’t fair but that he’s glad he can see her, but this time of year his light brown eyes always swarm with a question so obvious: “does she know that I’m a bad guy?’
Ash was probably too quiet for too long, face neutral in thought and jade eyes quiet like a school hallway in the middle of a period. The few people walking around being bad memories and spiraling thoughts.
“What did you want to do?” Eiji spoke into the dark hallway, stood at the door as he waited for Ash to come back to him. “-when you were younger.” He clarified to the ceiling, heart open and bare as they unraveled the things they never allowed themselves to talk about because living in the past can and will get you killed in the present.
Ash wished they were looking at each other. He felt so safe and vulnerable when he was looking into Eiji’s eyes, like he could slip and fall into the window of the soul but he knew Eiji would be there to catch him. He wished they were looking at each other, so he just took in the older’s side profile, the slope of his nose and the way his hair defied gravity and pink lips that parted with breath. “I never thought about it.” He doesn’t have to say the ‘professional baseball player’ or ‘the one good cop’ or the ‘I didn’t think I would be alive at this point.” He knew that Eiji knew.
“I knew I couldn't be a pole vaulter forever, but I don’t think I ever thought about if I were to ever have gotten hurt,” Eiji rolled his ankle under the sheets, shifting the blanket and bringing in the tiniest bit of cold air into the warmth of the bed. Ash pressed his feet impossibly closer to Eiji’s. “Photography is nice though. I think I would have found my way to a camera at some point in my life.”
“Ibe left that much of an impression on you, huh?” Ash questioned though his voice sounded like it held more praise than curiosity. Ash thought of every smile that has graced Eiji’s lips or the way that light hit his eyes at just the right angle and instead of brown Ash found himself immersed in honey .“I can understand why you like it so much.”
Perhaps it was the way Ash said it that finally made Eiji look at him. Voice soft like a prayer, softer than the cotton that filled Ash’s brain when he thought of the way Eiji had managed to coax photos out of him- photos he enjoyed and smiled at. Ones in kitchens with a towel wrapped around a mop of blond, spaghetti burning in a frying pan, and in bathrooms shaving hair that was barely there and ones in the bedroom where the only thing the camera was being pointed at was a line of drool- ones he enjoyed and alluded to on good days-- ones that he only despised on bad days but never asked or demanded or wished to be gone.
“Yeah?”
“You’re just full of questions this morning, aren’t you?”
“I enjoy the pieces of yourself you let me have, why wouldn’t I take advantage of it.”
Ash could never deny Eiji anything, even if he tried- and he has; all it got him was a heart that ached in love, the revelation that he, in fact, did not grow out of a genuine smile, that those face muscles didn’t atrophy with his innocence all those years ago.
Eiji turned onto his side, facing Ash once again except he was so much closer, fingers stretched and walked along pale skin. His voice no longer rough with sleep but quietly laced with the comfort of intimacy. “I, very recently, decided that photography would be something I would do for the rest of my life.” Fingertips glided in reverence and found a place to rest in the hollow of Ash’s collarbones. He opened his palm, like holding a butterfly, and cupped Ash’s cheek, the lines of his palm- lines that kids and fortune tellers used to tell the future- pressed against the love of Ash’s face. “There are just some things I cannot stand the idea of forgetting.” The pad of Eiji’s thumb rubbed just under emerald eyes and just graced along the slope of a sharp nose.” The thought of that, alone, breaks my heart.”
If Eiji allowed himself to be so open, Ash could allow himself to dream and want.
Lips pressed to the center of Eiji’s palm, the whisper of a wish to let Ash be a part of this star’s future. Let the sun rise when he’s ready and let the night sing with it’s patience and light.
Ash let Eiji’s hand fall between them before his own palm was pressed where his lips just laid. He doesn’t mutter the words his heart constantly sings, instead he jokes. “If you become a photographer, come take pictures of the class that I end up teaching,” He squeezed, a dream spoken and a wish shared. “capture the look of boredom on my student’s faces as I ramble about Hemingway and Poe.”
“I always did think you had too much information up there, I’m surprised your head hasn’t exploded.” The retort was completely dampened by how wide Eiji’s smile was, slightly crooked teeth shining in all of their glory.
Ash found himself staring at the blush that most often found a home on Eiji’s cheeks whenever he did smile that, too wide, so genuine, heartbreakingly precious smile. The one that made Ash feel like it was just for him.
Time passed. 9 came as fast as 8 left. Lids fluttered in the too long blinks of sleep lulled by comfort and safety.
The times that Ash watched Eiji drift in between sentences and dreams were spent taking in the glory of this body that held the soul of a boy he loved so much. Blunt nails traced over the peak of skin on Eiji’s stomach that it found underneath the warmth of covers, a lazy smile appeared whenever Eiji swatted mischievous fingers away, eyes barely opened in a glare. Fingertips traced over the raised skin of the scar on the older’s arm, one of the few things that have been there from the day they met.
Eiji was never one to complain about the ghosting of fingers and the very rare kisses that Ash littered along the scars of his body. Normally would blush and preen under the attention, but sometimes it seemed just a little too much. Every scar was tied to a memory so horrid- the living nightmares they faced everyday. The more recent scars will never be as fond as the faded ones from childhood, they’ll never be a tale of timely growth and nostalgia. Today seemed to be one of those days.
Warm, soft fingers eased between pale calloused ones, causing a halt to it’s ministries. “You really don’t have to be anywhere today?” There was a glimmer of hope and happiness and relief bundled into one and Ash would do anything to make that tone familiar.
“I’ll have to get report later and I might have to step out tonight just to double check on some things.” Eyes glanced around in feigned wonder, as if they could catch the endless ideas of things they could spend their day doing. “But-”, voice sang light, in love, “it is after ten and I am getting pretty hungry.”
Eiji hummed as he listened, blinking slowly in amusement. “Did you want me to make you a late breakfast?” Eiji didn't need to look to see the enthusiast nod that Ash gave. His sharp tongue clicked along the roof of his mouth, mocking. “Whatever are you going to do without me?”
“Why would I ever be without you?”
“Didn’t you try to send me away-“ Eiji deadpanned, “-like 80 times?”
“And you verbally said no, like, 104 times and ignored me every other time. So now you’re just stuck with me.”
“Can we be stuck in a booth— for breakfast?”
Ash wished he could say yes, wished to give those hopeful eyes the world beyond apartment walls, Wanted to watch the sun turn black into light brown and dark brown into honey. Ash wished he could say yes.
“We can go down to the market and grab some stuff?” Ash hated telling Eiji no. He’d threaten every god himself if there was no other answer. “—can you show me that one Japanese meal that you and your sister used to make together?”
Eiji always understood, and Ash loved him for it. His eyes didn’t dull at the soft decline, the corners of his mouth never wavered and his hand stayed true in Ash’s. “I would love to.”
Lips relaxed into the natural soft quirk of a smile, jade relaxed and peered into brown. Ash wondered if their eyes together would melt into some sort of camouflage, keep them hidden on the streets while they acted like the beyond reckless teenagers they were.
They’ve finally made their way out of bed, and shuffled around in the bathroom, Eiji wrote Japanese words in the fog on the mirror and Ash drew smiles and stick figures. They locked the door and started down the hall when Ash tugged Eiji’s sleeve. “If I don’t like the food, woul—“
“I already know to make you an avocado shrimp salad, Aslan.” Tone coated with affection and it made Ash’s heart beat.
“And I repeat,” The hand that tugged, was now the hand that weaved fingers between spaces made just for the ; palm to palm, future to future. “Why would I ever be without you.”