Chapter Text
As she got out of her cold empty bed, she puts on her house slippers. She started to think about all the things that lead up to this inevitable split in her relationship. It was a little over 4 months when she realized that her relationship with her husband had...shifted. Well not exactly but something had changed. Slowly but surely and she feels like she realized all too late that her A-huan, no longer loved her. At least not the same way she loved him. He was distant with her in a way that shook her to the core. He started coming home less, if at all and only late in the night, when she was sleeping. She hadn't thought much of it at the time. Thinking it was simply just the stress of having to be in constant control of a group as large as Gusu Lans Medicine at the young age of 26. That's what she thought at first, afterwards though she started to notice the other....little things. The strange new smell on his clothes, his overly crumpled clothes, the hickeys and marks painted in less than obvious places on his skin.(that definitely weren’t from her.) After 3 long oblivious months, the small things began to add up. It was all making sense, too much sense. He's. He's cheating on her with THAT TINY BASTARD of a secretary, and...it hurts so much. After it completely processes in her head that sadness gets more and more overwhelming. It does what it does best. It turns in to ANGER, pure vicious anger, so hot it burns. She rages, silently at first and then in the form of tears. Lan Xichen is gone for work and not coming back, and she's alone in THEIR HOME, angry and...afraid because he's...she looks at the photo on the shelf in their living room, the one where he's grinning madly because she had just excepted his proposal...he's cheating on her. She's angry, and sad, and alone and...what is she suppose to do now. She knew...that this was going to happen, that this anger she felt was pointless. In all her years the list of people that actually choose her for her and stayed could be counted on one hand. She’s honestly surprised it lasted as long as it did but she knows that this was to be expected. She starts to feel fear, and anxiety because she’s knows what…what they'll say about her when they divorce. She knows that her parents will blame her, regardless of the fact that he was the one who cheated. Their expressions, her fathers silent disappointment, her mothers violent ire. She has to make a decision, has to do something, anything.....she decides resolutely, that there’s no other way that this can end. She also realizes how this will prove all the people who felt as though she wasn’t good enough for Xichen right. Her father who couldn’t see why someone as “good-natured” and “well-endowed” could willingly choose to marry his lesser daughter. He had scoffed at the idea that anyone in their right mind would want to marry the carbon copy of his bat of a wife. She’s sighs. She’ll have to think more on this and she’s already tired from crying so she decides to go back to bed even if she’ll only get a restless sleep.
When she woke up that next morning she decided that she had to plan out her next moves carefully. That was 3 months ago and now she's almost ready to move on. After she really took in to consideration the effects of their divorce. She realized that everything would change. She wouldn't be able to stay in this apartment anymore, and she wouldn't move in with Yanli(though her older sister would probably insist), definitely not with her older brother, and she knew she wouldn't survive moving back in with her parents. Just thinking of her mothers reaction caused a shiver to run done her spine so she opted to start looking for lofts since....since she was gonna be on her own from now on. She didn't think she could stay in the big city anymore, so she started looking in smaller areas farther away. Until eventually she found a place and it was perfect and only 6 six hours away. It was a small cottage(in a little middle of nowhere kind of town) where she was sure she would get peace and space. She would need a job but there was enough saved up already so she wouldn't worry about it too much. Now in the last month of living life as a married woman, she felt a calm or a peace that felt strangely natural. All she had to do now was wait a little more. Divorce papers were surprisingly easy to get and she was sure that Xich-....Lan Xichen(when had she start referring to him as that) wouldn't fight her on this. The papers were requested and now all she had to do was get them, sign them, give them to her lawyer and....be a free women, she thought dryly. Sighing, she continued packing up her things. the things she had been silently collecting for months, the things that her A-hua-.....that Lan Xichen hadn't even so much as noticed(Or maybe he did and didn't care enough to ask). In a few days time she would be far away from here and away from all of this. She would be alone but she also wouldn't be getting cheated on anymore so she supposed that, that was something to look forward to. Trying to be positive wasn't her strong suit, in any situation, let alone her divorce but she knew that after, she could settle down and at least try to enjoy the little things that life had to offer. She had her bachelor's degree in the culinary arts, and had always liked to bake, maybe she could work in a little bakery or....something.
The day had come, the papers had come in, and her lawyer who(was one of her only close friends and a true confident) true to her word gave her the papers albeit hesitantly. "I trust that you’re doing this because it’s within your best interest but please, be careful Wanyin.", she said as she handed her the papers. "I will Mianmian and don't forget to send this to his lawyer as well." she replied hugging her before she took off, she looked her in the eye and said "And...thank you for this" she said raising the file folder. She returned to the apartment and looked through the papers, signing what needed to be signed and sorting through them. Afterwards she cooked dinner and ate waiting for her "husband". Today was....the day. The day she divorced and left her husband for good. It would still take months for the proceeds of the divorce to be legally accepted. This...was for the best, she thought dejectedly. She knew he would come eventually since today was their designated "date-night", that he was always at least 30 minutes late too. He was supposed to be here at ten-thirty and it was 30 minutes past eleven so she supposed that he should be here soon. He arrived at exactly twelve o'one pm. He came through the door obviously blushing, and with teeth marks on his neck. She figured that he had forgotten and wasn't expecting her to still be waiting. "Oh, A-cheng, what are you doing up so late?". She looked him in the eye and said "Waiting for you". She made a show of patting the chair across from her own. "I made you dinner". "Oh, you really shouldn't have, I had dinner with A-yao but thank you.". Of course you did, she thought sarcastically, mentally rolling her eyes. "I still need to talk to you though so as soon as you change come back out." She turned her back to him and continued into the living room. She waited for about 10 minutes, before he came back looking considerably less scrambled. He sat on the couch across from her. She sat leisurely swirling a glass of red wine. "How was work?" she asked casually. He looked confused but answered with a quick "Well". They sat there and made pointless conversation with even more pointless small talk. "Though it was good to catch up with you," she drawled, putting down her wine glass and getting up. "I need you to sign something for me." she finished lightly. She walked back over and carefully set down a file folder in between them. "What-" Lan Xichen started to ask, "Look" she said cutting him off. He looked at her, then the folder, and then back at her before picking it up and skimming through it slowly. His eyes looked slightly dilated when he looked back up at her. "What is....what is this supposed to be?" he asked voice small and slightly quivering. "Divorce papers." she said back flatly. "I want a divorce, so if you would be so kind as to sign these." she said playfully. "Is this a joke A-cheng?" he asked dazedly. She blinked at him a few times before her face hardened. "No, no but this marriage is." She glared at him "Do you think I'm blind or dumb? Anyone with half a brain could see that you were fucking your secretary." When his tears started to fall she almost felt bad for him, but then she felt more bad for herself. "What did you think THAT I DIDN'T NOTICE THE BITE MARKS" she yelled out angrily. "THAT I DIDN'T REALIZE THAT YOU WERE AVOIDING ME LIKE A DISEASE". "I'M YOUR WIFE NOT YOUR WHORE AND YET.....and yet you couldn't spare me 5 minutes of your time Xichen." Seeing the guilt so clear on his face, she could almost taste it. She continued to explode "I loved you Xichen, and I know that," she stopped forcing down the sob wanting to come out. "I know that we weren't perfect but you....instead of talking to me and telling me, you went and cheated on me. WITH YOUR SECRETARY." She stopped suddenly and then quietly add "For months". She looked away. "You had so many chances to just, tell me the truth." Her face hardened again. "But no you had to lie, and cheat, and ruin whatever this was." She got a pen and faced him again. He was still crying silently and she took pity. She sat beside and slowly took his face in her hands. "Look Lan Xichen, I don't completely blame you for everything, and....I don't hate you but for the sake of us." She continued, while wiping away his tears. "We should....end this, whatever we had is gone, this, whatever this is....needs to end now." She thought about all the good times they had together, and realized that she would cherish it for the rest of her life. She looked in to his eyes determined to see this through. She took his hand in hers and put the pen down in his palm. "End this...A-Huan". He sniffed earnestly, "I will but first," he said hoarsely, "I'm so so so sorry Wanyin, I should have just told you from the start." His grip on the pen tightens. "Instead I avoided you like a coward because of the guilt I felt, and for that I will never be able to apologize enough." They looked in to each others eye, silently promising to move on...and go their separate ways. She got them some tissue and they wiped there noses and then he looked up at her one last time, then signed the papers. They smiled sadly at each other and then made a silent decision to at least spend one last night together.(THEY DON'T DO ANYTHING BTW).