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“Guys. Guys. Lan Zhan has never been trick or treating.” Wei Ying announced this to his dormmates as the one sentence horror story that it was.
“That sucks,” Jiang Cheng replied, without looking up from his laptop. Wei Ying shot him a look and turned to Huaisang, the only one who loves him in this house.
“Aw, why?” Huaisang asked, and Wei Ying shook his head.
“Traditional upbringing, it doesn’t matter, what matters is that I have to take him trick or treating! It’s a rite of passage!” he cried, and Jiang Cheng snorted.
“Two gay men in sexy Mario and Princess Peach costumes may stick out among the children.”
“Hey! We’re definitely going as a slutty witch and his catboy familiar. And besides, we have to go all out and do every Halloween tradition tonight. Dress up, trick or treat, haunted house, party, scaring little kids—he’s never celebrated Halloween!” Wei Ying continued, flopping dramatically across Huaisang’s lap.
“I’m all for you celebrating your birthday however you’d like to, but you do know it’s today, right? You can’t get matching costumes or tickets to a haunted house, it’s probably all sold out,” Huaisang said, reasonably. Wei Ying huffed, thinking for a moment.
“Leaving it to the last minute is the best part,” he decided. “Having concrete plans destroys all opportunity for true fun.”
“If you say so,” Huaisang hummed, shoving him off his lap and watching as he fell on the floor with a betrayed look. “Be safe ‘n stuff.”
“I will!” Wei Ying promised, jumping back up to go get dressed at record speeds with the intention of immediately going costume shopping with Lan Zhan—step one of fulfilling every important Halloween tradition in one night.
Standing in the costume shop, staring at the aisles of downright awful costumes left (and listen, Wei Ying could appreciate a comically terrible Halloween costume, but these couldn’t even be considered laughable), he realized that perhaps leaving things to the last minute was not the number one way to go—not that he’d be changing his ways anytime soon, of course.
“Hmm,” Lan Zhan said, likely out of polite inclination, and Wei Ying sighed.
“You know what this means?”
“Should I?”
“It means we’re cutting holes in sheets and going as ghosts. It’s a broke bitch classic,” he announced, and Lan Zhan continued to stare unamused at the selection of costumes.
“I see.”
“Don’t get so excited, you might pop a blood vessel,” Wei Ying grinned, stepping around the aisle to scan their current stock of masks. The first one was a classic werewolf, which smelled like rubber and chemicals when he immediately slipped it over his head and popped back around the corner to get some sort of reaction out of Lan Zhan.
His eyes widened fractionally before his face returned to normal, and Wei Ying must have found this irrationally hilarious because he burst into laughter.
“What do you think?” he asked, and Lan Zhan tilted his head slightly to the left.
“It’s…interesting. Do you like it?”
“No, it smells awful in here,” Wei Ying responded, putting it on Lan Zhan’s head to prove his point.
“Mn,” he agreed.
“Well, this was a bust. It’s time for step 1.5 of catching you up to speed on Halloween: going home and destroying some sheets,” Wei Ying declared, already walking away, and Lan Zhan gently set the mask down with a wrinkled nose before following him.
“Don’t you need them,” Lan Zhan started, “to sleep under?”
“Well. Two eye-sized holes won’t make that much of a difference,” he reasoned, and so, yes, he cut two holes in the sheet that he slept under nightly, and therefore had bright orange chili oil stains all over it as well.
Lan Zhan’s sheet was actually Jiang Cheng’s, since he’d already left with Huaisang to aid in setting up the Nie’s Halloween party and therefore wasn’t there to tell Wei Ying to fuck off and put holes in sheets that he actually owned.
This paired with the fact that they were using pillow cases as candy bags, Lan Zhan felt a bit like a walking bed set.
“Alright, which party are we crashing first?” Wei Ying smiled. Every year, Mingjue and Huaisang threw a party at their home, while Guangyao and Zixuan did the same. Maybe there was a story to be told there, some sort of ancient Halloween party rivalry, but Wei Ying was usually too busy enjoying the actual parties to learn any of the details.
“My brother is at the Jins’,” Lan Zhan replied, which was enough of an answer for Wei Ying to start his way back towards the car.
When he settled himself in the driver’s seat and clicked his seatbelt over his sheet-draped body, Lan Zhan frowned. “You can’t drive with a sheet over your head.”
“If you weren’t in this car,” Wei Ying warned, “I’d be racing and drifting in this sheet, purely to spite you.”
“Thank you for sparing me that experience,” Lan Zhan said solemnly.
“It isn’t for you. If I killed you, your family would just stare me down silently and murder me with their gaze alone. Imagine an angry Xichen.” Wei Ying shuddered for emphasis.
“Mn. Terrifying.”
This thought was a little less terrifying when they arrived to find Xichen in a banana suit.
“At least we’re not banana suit guy, eh?” Wei Ying had said playfully, nudging Lan Zhan with his elbow.
“That’s my brother,” he’d responded, and Wei Ying couldn’t help the laughter that followed.
“I respect it. I respect it, I swear, but—” He broke off to wheeze, grinning, and Lan Zhan patted his shoulder. “Let’s get drinks. And candy, of course,” he decided, tugging Lan Zhan over to the kitchen. He did the responsible thing, which was drink an entire cup of mystery-punch to make sure it wasn’t alcoholic for Lan Zhan. (It was.) “Stay away from that,” he suggested. “The Jins always take themselves so seriously. I bet Huaisang has straight up blue Hawaiian punch and those frosted cookies that are probably more sugar than cookie, but Halloween-colored.”
“Hmm. Would you like to go there?” Lan Zhan questioned, and Wei Ying shook his head.
“Not until I’m absolutely sauced and we’ve been trick-or-treating. You know how many of these houses give out full-sized candy bars? It’s insane. Drink and walk? Drink and walk. Hold one for me,” he said decidedly, placing one cup in Lan Zhan’s hand and starting toward the door. “We look awesome. For all they know, we’re two very tall children under here.”
“It is okay for two adults to go door to door asking for candy?” Lan Zhan confirmed, and Wei Ying waved his hand dismissively.
“What even is an adult?” He chugged the drink in his hand pointedly and grabbed the other from Lan Zhan. “First house! You have to say it, Lan Zhan.”
“Hm?”
“Trick or treat! You have to go up there and get the full experience.”
Lan Zhan did so, with a lot less reluctance than Wei Ying had expected, and so he decided it was time to tell all the Halloween stories of his youth as they walked from home to home in a little crowd of 8-year-olds.
“I remember one year, I prank-called all of Jiang Cheng’s friends to tell them he got hit by a car because his crippling depression weighed him down too much for him to dodge it. I invited them to the funeral and asked them to bring McDonald’s Happy Meals to our home, since we’d be grieving too much to cook during this difficult time, and they must’ve gotten to talking about it in the group chat because someone from school called the cops,” Wei Ying explained, nearly tripping over a small child and crossing the street in front of a car as he spoke. Lan Zhan pulled him back both times.
“Please pay attention to where you are going,” he urged, and Wei Ying laughed.
“Why would I do that when I’ve got you! Reliable Lan Zhan, keeps me from being the next Jiang Cheng splattered all over the road.” He started to unwrap a candy bar as he walked, and Lan Zhan resigned himself to keeping a hand on his elbow to keep him walking in the right direction.
Overall, it was a very successful trick-or-treating trip, until it wasn’t.
Maybe it was the combination of candy bars, drinking 3 mystery drinks so close together, and walking around all at the same time, or maybe the universe just hated him, but he ended up stopping to throw up in someone’s yard. They were right there, too, giving out candy, but had the decency to say nothing. Lan Zhan smoothed his bangs back and patted his shoulder.
“...Vomiting. Is another Halloween tradition,” he explained. Wasn’t the first time, wouldn’t be the last.
“I…don’t know—”
“Don’t worry, it’s an optional one,” Wei Ying coughed, waving his hand, and Lan Zhan nodded slowly.
“Next party?” he suggested, and Wei Ying nodded. Sugary cookies were definitely the cure to the post-vomiting depression.
Huaisang did, in fact, get those cookies (they are a classic, after all), and Wei Ying ate three before Lan Zhan stopped him.
“Good things in moderation,” he said, closing the cookie box, and Wei Ying pouted and complained until he was allowed one more. They were always dry ass cookies (but so perfect somehow), so he drank plenty of whatever purple juice was laid out, and only learned of his mistake when Huaisang joined them.
“You can barely taste the alcohol in these drinks, it’s amazing,” he hummed, sipping at his own. Lan Zhan looked Wei Ying in the eyes with what could only be described as the most subtle expression of disapproval ever worn by man and walked over to the kitchen sink to get him some water.
“Ohhh, man,” Wei Ying giggled. “Sauced, what did I say?”
“Mn. Drink.” Lan Zhan handed him the water, and Wei Ying did as he said if only because he was thirsty as fuck.
“Sorry you always have to babysit me,” he laughed, and Lan Zhan shook his head.
“I am a far worse drunk to babysit,” he replied, and Wei Ying nodded in agreement.
“You’re so romantic when you’re out of it, though. Courting me with someone else’s chickens…who knew the stoic Lan Zhan was capable of such grand gestures?” he teased, and Lan Zhan shook his head, face a little flushed.
“Do we have anything else we need to do tonight?” he asked, a beautifully crafted subject change.
“Probably too drunk for a haunted house,” Wei Ying admitted. “Might throw up on one of the workers.”
“No, then?”
“Mmmm, no. We could watch a scary movie in Huaisang’s old bed, though. Next best thing?” he suggested, and Lan Zhan nodded in agreement.
And so they cuddled up in another man’s bed, turned on the dusty TV and watched the first horror movie they found on, which was one of those shitty ones that only relies on using too much gore. Lan Zhan petted his head as he watched diligently, though he was definitely confused about the plot (nobody watching that movie could be anything else).
“This is pretty nice,” Wei Ying said, probably more out of a drunken haze than any true feelings.
“Mn.” Lan Zhan pressed a kiss to his temple, and Wei Ying smiled stupidly.
“You’re my favorite,” he whispered, and Lan Zhan blinked at him.
“You are also my favorite.” Wei Ying gasped dramatically and probably fell asleep shortly after, though Lan Zhan didn’t take much note of that until the movie ended.
“Mm. Wake up. Need to take you home,” Lan Zhan said softly, nudging Wei Ying back to consciousness.
“Nnng,” he protested, and Lan Zhan ignored this sparkling argument to get up and smooth down his clothes. He helped a swaying Wei Ying make it to the car, getting him a fresh cup of water on the way and buckling his seatbelt with care. When he settled into the driver’s seat himself, Wei Ying spoke up.
“Sorry I fucked up your first Halloween. I meant for you to have fun tonight,” he mumbled, and Lan Zhan shook his head.
“I did. It’s your birthday, Wei Ying, you have a right to let loose,” he responded.
“You know it’s my birthday?” he frowned.
“Mn. Jiang Cheng told me,” Lan Zhan explained. “So I could get you a gift.”
“You got me a gift?” Wei Ying repeated, and Lan Zhan nodded sheepishly.
“I didn’t know what to get you,” he admitted, pulling a neatly packed gift bag out from the backseat. Wei Ying tore it open with all the grace of a candy-stuffed drunk and started to pull out the contents one by one.
“Aww. A rock with googly eyes? Does he have a name?” he asked, smiling, and Lan Zhan swallowed nervously, waiting for him to figure it out himself. He pulled out another rock, and another, and another. “Oh my god. There’s too many to name. You really panicked, didn’t you?” Wei Ying laughed, slipping the card out of the bag and opening it up.
For Wei Ying.
Let me take you to dinner tomorrow?
“You cheesy fuck,” Wei Ying giggled, leaning in to kiss him on the cheek.
“Jiang Cheng said you would want to celebrate Halloween properly today,” he explained.
“Maybe he likes you more than I thought.” Wei Ying smiled.
“He’s your brother. Wants you to be happy,” Lan Zhan corrected, and Wei Ying nodded in understanding.
“You do make me very happy. Must be more than I realized, if even my emotionally constipated brother can see it,” he murmured, head falling against the window as he started to fall back asleep.
“You make me happy too,” Lan Zhan whispered, like it was a secret between the two of them. “I don’t mind looking after you.”
Wei Ying only gave a sleepy hum in response, and Lan Zhan smiled, starting the car to take him home.