Chapter Text
The morning after her wedding, Donna is rudely awoken at six by the shrill buzzing of an alarm clock. Instead of shutting it off, she mumbles something that is incoherent to both her and her bedmate and shoves her boyfriend - or, husband, rather. He responds with something equally miffed and equally muffled, but nonetheless rolls away from her and hits the offending clock until it stops blaring.
Sunlight filters in weakly through the windows, as though it too is reluctant to be up at this hour. Donna blinks slowly, waiting for consciousness to wash over her in waves. Josh pulls her back toward him and wraps an arm around her before settling back into the pillows, displaying that he is no more eager to get to his first day on the job than she is. Her stomach is a little off, but she doesn't feel the urge to rush to the bathroom yet, which is good. Unfortunately, that probably means that she'll be making a few trips there later today, while she is simultaneously attempting to navigate her shiny new White House job.
The biggest wave of consciousness hits her while she is still blinking reluctantly, and something catches her eye in the feeble morning light. She's wearing a wedding ring.
Right. That actually happened.
After the initial shock dies down, she feels a warmth start in her chest and spread through her whole body. She reminds herself that the man currently holding her is the one she wants to spend the rest of her life with, and that as of last night, they'd committed themselves to do just that.
She remembers the exhilaration of last night, his elated smile that eclipsed any other she'd seen on him, even the one he'd worn when they won the election.
She'd always thought of elopements as messy, drunken affairs, but she'd made her decision sober. And she'd make it again a million times over.
"Did we really get married last night?" She asks, just to be sure.
Josh rouses himself enough to say "Hm. That was you, last night?"
"I'm afraid so."
She can feel his smile as he kisses her shoulder. "God knows what I was thinking."
"Same here." She wants to see him, so she turns over to face him. Awake now, he watches her with softly shining eyes. He rests a hand gently on the side of her face, with an expression like he is trying to contain his awe. He takes his time in leaning in to kiss her warmly.
"So, you're my wife." He says, brow furrowed almost dubiously.
"I guess I am."
"I have a wife."
"You do."
"That sounds so... Mature."
"You were getting a little old for girlfriends, don't you think?"
"A wife."
"How long are you going to keep on with this?"
"The Mrs."
"I'm not Mrs anything, actually."
"The 'ole ball and chain'."
"Well, unless you'd like to live without any balls, metaphorical or literal-"
"Right. Not gonna use that one."
"Good thinking."
"Hey, you know what?"
"What?"
"I've got something for you." He rolls away from her and practically off the bed, rooting around for something in the bottom drawer of his bedside table.
She smiles. "You've already given yourself over to me for eternity, what more could a girl want?"
He sits up, a black box in hand. Her heart skips a beat. He opens it and sets it close to her face for inspection, and she inhales sharply.
"Um." She sits up, taking the box into her hands and holding it up for a closer look. "Um. Wow."
"It's an engagement ring." He says, unnecessarily.
"Um." She repeats dumbly. "But, we were never engaged."
He grins, a little nervously. He has no idea what he's got to be nervous about, it's not like she's going to turn him down now. "You should still have it."
She doesn't look as thrilled as he'd hoped she would. "Why do you have this?"
"What do you mean?"
"Have you had it for a while?"
"You could say that." He says slowly, nonplussed.
She looks, if anything, a little ill. "Did you buy it for someone else?"
That's when he understands. "What? Oh, no, no, that's not-"
"I mean, if you did, that's fine, it's just-"
"Donna." He interrupts. "This ring has been in my family for, like, centuries."
"It... What?"
"The ring has been around longer than I have. There are, um, some pretty great stories about it, actually." He reverts to his slight nervousness. "It’s followed us from like, Poland, I think. It was briefly lost in Lake Superior one time. It's, um. I always thought it'd be kinda weird to give someone a ring that your dead relatives have worn, but then when I met you, I thought it'd be the kind of thing you found interesting, so-"
"I do." She interrupts him eagerly, regretful for jumping to conclusions. "This is... Wow."
"But, if it helps, I asked my mother for it when we were in Connecticut last summer. That's when I knew I'd be, um... Needing it."
Her eyes brim with tears. He'd been grieving the loss of his father, and still, he'd thought to do this. She grabs his hand, wanting to express how touched she is, but all she can get out is, "Ruth must've been thrilled."
"God, like you wouldn't believe. It took everything she had not to say anything to you." He grins at the memory, and at the thought of calling his mother to share the good news.
"She's going to be one very happy woman later today."
"She is." He pauses, watching her. Her gaze hasn't left the ring box, her eyes wide and glittering. "So, you like it?"
"Are you kidding? I love it." She finally looks up at him, eyes still brimming. She leans in to kiss him once, fiercely. "I love you."
"I'm glad."
"It’s really been in your family for centuries?"
He can see her dorky enthusiasm creeping through, and he smiles with satisfaction. "I'm sure my mother can give you the full history on it."
She gives a happy little bounce that makes a laugh rise in his chest. "It's perfect."
"You're perfect."
She rolls her eyes, but looks pleased. "You know, it's strange. I always thought that when I was given an engagement ring-"
"You wouldn't be married yet?"
She shrugs. "Consider me old-fashioned."
He shakes his head. "So, you going to put it on or what?" He takes the ring out of the box, as she seems too awestruck to do so, and takes her hand in his. He slips the ring onto her finger, adorned just last night with a simple wedding band. "It's a little big." He says apologetically. "We can get it resized."
He makes to take it off, but she snatches her hand away from him. "Well, sure, but not right now."
He raises his eyebrows.
"I won't lose it! I just want to... Wear it, today."
"You're going to show it off, aren't you?"
"Possibly."
"And rail on about the historical significance to everyone who asks?"
"And probably those who don't, yes."
"I'm glad you like it."
"Love it." She corrects cheerfully.
He stretches out a hand to trail along her side, and brings it to rest on her waist almost reverently. Framed by soft morning light, she is naked and happy and impossibly freckled, and he is struck again by just how breathtaking she is. "Remind me again how I possibly got you to marry me."
"You knocked me up." She quips.
"Right."
She smiles indulgently, and shifts closer to him to rest her head on his chest. She kisses his collarbone. "And, I love you."
"That's the part I'm having trouble with."
"It's inexplicable."
He tilts her head back to kiss her more deeply than he had before, and she absolutely resents the fact that they have somewhere to be.
"So, this sucks, but we have to go to work."
"Fuck. You're right."
"I am."
"What idiot decided we should get married on Inauguration night?"
"You did."
"Well, it was stupid. We shouldn't have to go to work. We should be, I don't know, doing nothing but sleeping, having sex, and drinking champagne."
"I can't drink, anyway."
"Then the other two will do."
"Joshua. We both know you're excited to go to work today."
"Well, yeah."
"I am too."
"You're excited to spend the whole day with Toby?"
"Yes."
"There's probably going to be a lot of talk, today." He says dully.
"We'll be fine."
"Oh, God."
"What?"
He squeezes his eyes shut, and runs a hand over his forehead. "The President."
"What about him?"
"He's going to be told about the wedding this morning. If he wasn't already. And then he's going to sit me down, probably in the goddamn Oval Office, for a fatherly talk."
She grins. "This is going to be one hell of a day."
"It is."
"C'mon. Let's take a shower."
"I've gotta tell you, sir, the sight of you behind that desk still gives me some type of feeling."
The President holds down a smile. "Leo, you had yesterday to adjust. Can we get some work done, now?"
"Of course, sir." Leo grins. "I'll round up the staff, they should all be in by now."
"Good, good." He shuffles through his papers to find the briefing memo for his next meeting. "Say, Leo?"
"Sir?"
"I meant to ask you last night, when you got back - but then, of course, you were with Jenny, and then I had to do some ceremonial thing, and then someone was toasting me, and-"
"Sir."
"The point being, I forgot to ask you." Jed admits. "I forgot to ask you where it was that you and, it seems, half my staff disappeared to last night."
Leo nods. He knew he'd have to address this at some point. He stalls. "It wasn't half your staff, sir. It was just me, Sam, Toby, CJ, Josh, and Donna."
"Well, that's more than half my staff!"
"You have a staff of hundreds, sir."
"Well it's more than half the names I remember."
Leo rolls his eyes. He steadies himself for what he says next. "Sir, what I'm about to tell you, I'd like you not to fly off the handle about."
The President furrows his brow. "Why would I fly off the handle?"
"Because, I know you'll either go into father figure mode, or you'll go into Catholic mode, or you'll go into wounded 'I wasn't invited' mode, so-"
"Leo." Jed interrupts. "Get to the point."
"We went to a wedding, last night."
"A wedding?" Jed repeats incredulously. "At midnight on a Tuesday?"
"An elopement."
"Leo..."
"Josh and Donna got hitched." He says bluntly.
"They..." Jed trails off. He rests his hands on his hips in a contemplative gesture, and stares in a detached manor at the seal on his carpet. "They did what?"
"Sir, the handle-"
"They got married?"
"I knew you would do this." Leo sighs.
"They got married?"
"Yes."
"Married." Jed repeats.
"Sir-"
"How old is she?"
"I don't know, sir. Twenty something."
"How old is he?"
"Jed-"
"How long have they been together?"
"Less than a year."
"And they got married?"
"I can't tell if you're being a father or a Catholic right now."
"I'm being both! Because I am both!"
"Ah, well-"
"Were they drunk?"
"They were totally sober."
"And the rest of you? You must've been drunk to let them go through with this?"
"We weren't drunk, either."
"Then for what possible reason could you have-"
"Sir." Leo interrupts firmly. "She's pregnant."
"She..." Jed's momentum comes to a sudden arboreal stop. "Oh."
"Sir." Leo says plaintively. "Please don't make this into a whole thing."
"Poor kids." Jed mutters distractedly.
"Sir?"
"Go get the staff together, Leo." Jed says, without looking at him.
"Sir, you're not going to sit him down for one of your talks, are you?"
Jed looks up at him sheepishly. "So what if I am?"
"He's got a lot going on right now, he doesn't need a lecture."
"I just think he could use a little fatherly advice, that's all." Jed defends, the weight of moral pretension behind him.
Leo chews this over. He obviously won't be able to dissuade him entirely. The war of the father figures wages on. "Fine. But you're not doing it here."
"Why not?"
"Because if you're going to have a talk with the very Catholic President of the United States, in concerned father mode, about how you knocked up your girlfriend, the last thing you want is to be doing it in the room where declarations of war are signed."
Jed considers this. "Can I use your office?"
"Fine."
"That's all." Jed dismisses his staff.
"Thank you, sir." They chorus, all beaming goofily at the sight of their boss behind the resolute desk. No one is sure when the thrill will wear off.
"Josh?" Jed calls. His young staffer hesitates in the doorway. "Hang back for a minute."
There will be innumerable times in the future that the President says these very words to Josh with totally innocuous intent. He will then ask him about the progress on a bill, or how a certain freshman Senator is shaping up. But nonetheless, every time he hears these words, Josh will always remember this moment of total dread.
"Of course, sir."
"Come with me into Leo's office."
"Why?"
Jed raises an eyebrow. "Are you questioning your Commander in Chief?"
"Of course not, sir."
"Good." Jed opens the door to Leo's office without knocking, and Leo looks up at him in a very exasperated way. "Leo. Hello."
"I'd imagine you'd like me to clear out?"
"What? No! You can stay. We can double team him."
"I'm leaving." Leo says with vague amusement. On his way out, he claps Josh on the shoulder. "Hang in there, kid."
Josh looks like he very much needed these words of reassurance.
"Well, have a seat." Jed says warmly, and not a little off-puttingly.
"Okay." Josh hesitantly sits on the couch, watching as the President takes the chair closest to him.
Jed leans forward, bracing his elbows on his knees and giving Josh his best concerned smile. "I thought this would feel a little bit less like being called into the Principal's office."
"Sure." Josh says faintly, though he certainly feels something to that effect. He vaguely recalls his father calling him in to his study to discuss the fight he'd gotten into at school, a few months after Joanie had died. He feels eight years old again.
"I heard you got married last night." Jed begins, using his best 'I'm reserving judgment' tone. "Congratulations."
"Thank you, sir."
"I love that girl. Really, I do. She's good for you. She's an odd one, but I like her."
"Well. I do too." Josh acknowledges hesitantly. He feels somewhat like he's being lured into a trap.
"I wasn't sure it would stick, at first, but a few months in I think we all knew you were bound to tie the knot sometime."
"Right."
"Now, did I think you'd tie it last night? No. In fact, it was quite inconsiderate, stealing my thunder that way..."
He finally succeeds in getting Josh to smile. "I'm sorry about that, sir."
"And I wasn't even invited! Talk about rubbing salt in the wound."
"You seemed a little busy, sir."
Jed waves a hand. "Excuses!"
"You're right, sir. I'm sure you could've made the time."
"Damn straight." Jed says. He sobers himself and lets his expression fall to concern. "So, Leo told me about the baby, as well."
Josh's smile fades. "Yes, sir. I guess word's probably going to get around about that today."
"Don't worry about what people say." Jed says seriously. "It's not worth it."
Josh seems a little surprised by this. "Yes, sir."
"So. How are you feeling about it?"
"How am I... Feeling?" Josh echoes dubiously.
"Joshua." Jed pronounces his full name deliberately, knowing exactly how to make him feel young and lost. "I don't know what it is you thought I was going to say to you, but if it was anything along the lines of a scolding or a moral sermon, I'm deeply offended. Because never - and I want you to hear me when I say this - never will my own personal belief system color the way I think of you. And I would never want it to stop you from talking to me about your life, or your concerns."
Josh merely blinks, taken aback. "I... Yes, sir."
"Because I know this is strange to you. But your friends - the people you work with - they may know a lot of things, but they know nothing about what you are about to go through. And that is why I want to offer myself, and Abbey, as support. And I'm sure Leo won't mind my offering him, as well."
Josh tries to hide how touched he is by this. Because the truth is, he had been feeling horribly isolated for the past month. His closest friends were as close to having children as they were to winning the lottery, his own father had recently died, and he had no idea who to tell or what to say. He felt helpless. "I appreciate that, sir."
Jed smiles. "Now then. I'll ask you again: how are you feeling about fatherhood?"
"Sir, I'm terrified."
Jed laughs, because he certainly looks it. "As I thought. That's okay, it's perfectly natural. You've just become a member of the world's least exclusive club: the brotherhood of fatherhood."
"The brotherhood of fatherhood?"
"Yes. And I'll let you in on our biggest secret: none of us have any idea what the hell we're doing."
"Abbey, my dearest, I have something to tell you."
"My dearest? Oh god, this should be good."
"I've got some hot gossip for you, hot pants."
"About who?"
"My staff. And it just so happens that this story is going to be a positive anecdote in proving that I'm right to meddle."
"Jed, you meddled? What did you do?"
"I would like to preface this by saying that you needn't meddle further."
"Who said I would meddle? I don't meddle."
"Not usually, but in this instance, I am sure that you'll want to."
"Why's that?"
"Because of your personal tendency to want to swoop in and mentor young mothers."
"Who's a young mother?"
"That tone! Right there! That's how I know you'll want to meddle!"
"So what if I will?"
"I'm saying I handled the situation, so we needn't attack it on two fronts."
"Jed, this is your first full day in office as leader of the free world. Don't you have better things to do than gossip about your staff?"
"Okay. Here it is. Josh and Donna got married last night."
"They what?"
"They eloped. Because she's pregnant."
"Oh my."
"Abbey, where are you going?"
"Nowhere, my dearest."
"Abbey, I told you, I've handled it-"
"You handled it in your masculine, boys club, 'everything will be okay, kid' way with Josh and then you just washed your hands of it, didn't you?"
"Well, I-"
"I'm attacking it on the other front, hot pants. Where does she work?"
"Communications. But I would appreciate it if you didn't distract my staff-"
"No, because you do a fine job of that all on your own."
Abbey strides briskly into the communications office, and spies Donna sitting at her desk and chatting with a coworker. She knows by experience that the 'pregnancy glow' is a complete myth, and recognizes with sympathy the 'waxy pregnancy grayishness' that indicates that the sufferer has likely vomited in the past hour. She makes her way over, and as she does so, people begin to notice her presence and stand respectfully.
She stops in front of Donna's desk. "Donna Moss." She says cheerfully.
Donna looks up with wide eyes and springs out of her seat so quickly you'd think she'd been bitten by something. "Madame First Lady."
One of the things Abbey had always liked about Donna was that while most people generally fell onto calling her "Mrs. Bartlet" during the campaign, Donna had always taken care to say "Dr." She misses hearing that, now. "You don't need to stand, Donna, I'm not the President."
"That's okay, ma'am."
"Donna, would you care to come walk with me a minute?"
Her eyes widen again. "Of course, ma'am."
"And you can drop the ma'am."
"I really don't think I can, ma'am."
She follows her out of the office, the entire staff's eyes upon them. Abbey had thought she might not want to have this conversation in front of all her coworkers, but it's likely they already know. Gossip got around fast on the campaign, and there's no reason to think that the habit will have been kicked just because they have real offices now.
"I believe congratulations are in order."
It takes Donna a moment to realize what she's talking about. "Oh. Oh, thank you, ma'am, that's very kind."
She looks painfully young and scared in that moment. Not unlike the way Abbey had looked, only a few weeks after her own wedding night. "I thought a walk might help."
"I'm sorry?"
"With the morning sickness. Fresh air usually helps, but it's freezing, so I thought a walk would do. I know it seems like all you want to do is curl into a ball and moan, but trust me, this is better."
Donna looks floored by this. Her best efforts to hide her condition - ducking into the bathroom when no one was looking, and wearing a very loose sweater - had been for naught. She should've expected this - they'd told a handful of people last night, and it was only a matter of time before word got around. "Um, right."
"I hope you don't mind my bringing it up. Perhaps it isn't my place to know, but I thought it better to do something with the knowledge than pretend I don't have it."
"No, that's okay, ma'am. I'm sure the whole building will know by day's end." She says, a little bitterness creeping through.
"Are you worried about what people will say?"
"A little." Donna admits. "I mean, the way this looks... Well, the way this is..."
"Donna, I'd like you to remember something. The three men in the world who are least likely to keep someone around that they don't find valuable are Leo, Toby, and my husband. The three people responsible for keeping you around."
Donna fumbles for something to say. Somehow, she'd read the exact source of her anxiety - not that she'd be called a slut, or a trophy wife, but that people might think she hadn't earned her place on the team. She fears being thought a charity case, or the beneficiary of nepotism, more than anything else.
"You deserve to be here." Abbey says earnestly.
Donna swallows. "Thank you, ma'am."
"And anyone who thinks otherwise doesn't deserve to be here."
Donna smiles. "That's very kind of you to say."
"Of course." Abbey says dismissively. "I came by because, well, I'm sure you must be going through a lot. And I wanted to offer myself as someone to talk to - or even just to sit and listen to you."
They reach a hallway with a bench, and Abbey sits down before gesturing for Donna to do the same. Secret Service agents at either end of the hall ensure their privacy.
"Ma'am, that's very generous of you, but I know how much you have to worry about already, and I can't see how my problems should merit any of your attention."
Abbey smiles. "Jed teases me about this. The way I always reach out to young mothers. But I can't help myself. It's not because I see you as a charity case, either. It's because I've been through something similar myself. And to not share what little wisdom I have seems wrong."
Donna hesitates.
"I became pregnant with Liz when I was twenty-one. I had a baby by twenty-two - which was the year I went off to med school."
"That must've been very hard for you, ma'am."
"It was." Abbey acknowledges. "But I'm not trying to make your situation seem easier by comparison. I just wanted to tell you that I came out the other side of it pretty well off. And I know that you will too."
Donna bites her lip. The First Lady's soothing tone is almost enough to make her start crying then and there. The only person she's had to reassure her in the past weeks is Josh - and, try as he might, he's floundering as much as she is.
She longs to call her own mother. At the same time, she dreads it.
"Thank you, ma'am."
"See that, right there? Just one of the many pearls of wisdom and reassurance I have to offer."
Donna gives a watery chuckle. "I'm sure."
"By the way, Jed's already gone and given Josh some long talk about fatherhood, which I'm sure involved whiskey and cigars and some sort of induction ceremony." Abbey jokes.
"That sounds right up Josh's alley." Donna says sarcastically.
Abbey laughs. "Geniuses, huh? Who knew they could be so stupid."
Donna grins. "Geniuses." She agrees.
"They're the hardest to live with, but the easiest to love." Abbey says sagely.
Donna nods. "That's the worst part of it."
"We should've married a couple of well-meaning idiots."
"That's funny, because that's usually how I describe Josh."
Abbey laughs again, a full laugh that somehow eases Donna's anxiety and nausea. "Fair enough." She settles back against the wall contentedly. "I like that you don't take any crap from him. You keep him grounded. That's what geniuses need, after all."
"And egoes."
"And god knows we married two of those." Abbey agrees fondly.
Donna settles back against the wall as well, remarkably more comfortable in the presence of the First Lady than she could've ever imagined herself being. There is an undeniable kinship - the secret sorority of take-no-shit women who were knocked up too young by world-class minds and universe-class egoes. Though, perhaps a shorter title would be necessary if they were to make t-shirts. "God knows." She echoes absently.
"Do your parents like Josh?"
"They've never met him." Donna admits, anxiety creeping back into the edges of her mind.
"Ah." Abbey says shortly. "Well, however that situation works itself out - and it will work itself out - you should know that there are quite a few people, right here in DC, who love and support you. My husband and I, for one. Leo, as I'm sure you know, has basically adopted Josh. CJ, and Sam Seaborn - hell, even Toby sings your praises. And Toby doesn't sing anyone's praises."
Donna grins. "Thank you, ma'am. That helps."
"What I'm trying to say is, it's true what people say. It takes a village."
"I'm starting to see that."
"Well, the more help you accept, the better."
"Right." In the many times she'd imagined herself as a mother, she'd never imagined accepting help from the First Family.
"I'd love for you two to have dinner with Jed and I in the residence, sometime soon."
"Dinner... With you and the President?"
"Sure. I'm pretty persuasive, but if we can't get Jed, I happen to have kept a couple cardboard cutouts from the campaign, so we'll have the next best thing."
"Ma'am, that's very kind, but-"
"Listen, we dine with heads of state some nights, but I'm sure you'll make for much better conversation. You and Jed can talk nineteenth century English literature, and Josh and I will try as hard as we possibly can not to look like idiots. It'll be fun."
"That does sound fun." She admits, though she knows it's likely impossible for Abbey to look like an idiot on any subject.
"So we'll make it happen. What do you like to eat?"
"Right now, pretty much nothing." She confesses.
"How far along are you?"
"Ten weeks, almost eleven."
"Ah. Well, trust me, in a few weeks you'll be eating pretty much everything."
"I can't wait." Donna says longingly.
Abbey chuckles. "So, we'll schedule in a few weeks."
"That sounds good."
"I'm glad."
"I'm having dinner with the President and the First Lady of the United States." Donna says numbly.
Abbey stands, and gives her a fond look. "That's how you make families happen, Donnatella. You sit people around a table, you talk, and you eat."
"CJ, did I make a mistake?"
"What are you talking about, Joshua?"
"Getting married. Was that as stupid and impulsive as I think it was?"
"That depends. How stupid and impulsive do you think it was?"
"CJ-"
"Josh, you love her, don't you?"
"Yeah."
"And you want to spend the rest of your life with her?"
"I do."
"Okay, so. You're fine."
"But the thing is, I'm not so sure about her. If she feels the same."
"Josh, that girl is madly in love with you. God knows why, but she is."
"Yeah, but she doesn't know what she wants. She's young. She's flighty."
"Well, that wasn't condescending at all."
"I want you to remember that this is coming from a place of insecurity."
"So she's young. She's more mature than most of us are. I hardly notice her age anymore."
"But in a few years, don't you think she'll start to regret-"
"Will you stop it? She loves you, and she's not going anywhere. If you age well, good for you, and if you don't, she'll get an ugly haircut and start wearing khakis and lumpy sweaters. And socks and sandals. That's marriage. You balance each other out."
"But-"
"What she won't do is leave you. Because she loves you."
"I expected more sympathy from you."
"That's tough. Because, I'm sorry, but from where I'm sitting, you don't have any grounds to complain."
"I didn't mean-"
"As someone who's been chronically single for a year and half, is well into her thirties, and works a job that makes it impossible to meet people, I'm just finding it hard to dig up compassion for the guy who married a gorgeous blonde twentysomething that loves him and is having his baby. Sorry, but I'm just fresh out."
"...point taken."
"Where are you going?"
"I'm going to go find and kiss my wife."
"I hate you."
"I understand."
"But, Josh?"
"Yeah?"
"I'm happy for you."
"Toby, can I ask you something?"
"No."
"Toby, what's it like to be married?"
"What are you doing?"
"I'm laying down on your couch."
"Who gave you permission to do that?"
"I'm pregnant. My feet hurt."
"Whatever. You may rest there, but we are not having any sort of deep discussion, is that understood?"
"Toby, what's it like to be married?"
"It's hell."
"Okay. Good talk."
"Donna, why would you ask me? You've gotta know how I feel about the whole thing. Are you looking for reasons to back out of this?"
"No. I just don't want to talk to anyone who will sugarcoat it. Or just congratulate me, or tell me how cute our kids will be. I want the truth."
"Donna, marriages aren't the same between people. They're highly different. So if you think yours will be anything like mine, you don't get it."
"So help me get it."
"I can't tell you what your marriage will be like. But I can tell you that, much as I hate to see anything good happen for Josh-"
"You're so full of it."
"He loves you. And you love him. And that won't always be enough, but it is for now. So enjoy it."
"...I'm not sure I can, now."
"People always say the first year of marriage is the hardest. But the first year of my marriage was great. It wasn't until year two that we hit the breaking point."
"Toby, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked you."
"It's really okay, Donna."
"I should get back to work."
"Probably."
"Thanks for talking to me."
"I think you'll make it, Donna. It won't always be easy, in fact it hardly ever will be. But you're the kind of person who likes a challenge, and makes the hard stuff look easy. I think you'll make it, Donna. And we both know I'm no optimist."
Josh is returning to his office from his search, when his girlfriend - or, wife, rather - appears, smiling brightly.
"Hey."
"Hey, I was just looking for you. You weren't at your desk."
"I was in Toby's office."
The intent of his search, to find her and kiss her, is spoiled when she lunges at him and does this for herself. Because she's mindful of where they are, she breaks the kiss before he would've, but allows herself to stay in his arms, eyes glowing.
"We're married." She says delightedly.
"We are." He confirms.
"We're married."
"You're having a moment, aren't you?"
"You're my husband."
"This is finally dawning on you?"
"Yeah."
"Well, at least you're smiling, and not dry heaving."
"Ugh, don't remind me of that." She grimaces.
"Sorry." He kisses the pout off her face, and is pleased when she giggles. He notices over her shoulder that his assistant is scurrying back to her desk, concealing a smile. "Hey, Addie!"
"Yes?" She looks up at them fondly.
"Have you met my wife?"
"Josh, I've met Donna countless times."
"Well, sure, but this is my wife, Donna."
Addie shakes her head in amusement. "Congratulations, by the way, you guys."
"Thank you."
"Should I be sending a wedding gift?"
"Oh god, no. We didn't even have a wedding. And, save your money for the baby shower. We don't need a blender, we need a stroller." Donna says, trying not to let the mental list of other things they need overwhelm her.
"Got it."
"So, Josh, I've had an idea." Donna says, and takes a step away from him to show how serious she is.
"Okay. Hit me."
"We're having dinner."
"...Wow, that's novel, Donna."
She scowls. "I mean, we're going to have a dinner. We're going to make food, and invite people over. Toby, Sam, CJ, Leo. Margaret, ooh, and Bonnie and Ginger! And Addie, if she'll come."
"Um, why are we doing this?"
"It's what grown ups do. Full-fledged, committed, soon-to-be-parents grown ups."
"You're sure?"
"Yes."
"Why do grown ups do this?"
"Because. That's how families are made." And as much as she's excited to start her own little family, she wants another family for herself. With these people.
She wants Toby to feel more welcome in their home than he'd ever been in the one he shared with Andi. She wants CJ to keep her posted on her dating trials and travails, even if she can't relate. She wants Leo to feel close to the son he'd supposedly adopted.
The First Lady was right. She's going to be fine, no matter her family situation back in Wisconsin. She's going to make her own family, right here in DC - and she'll do it just the way Abbey told her. By sitting them at a table, talking, and eating.
Notes:
thanks for reading - or re-reading!!
ugh love Abbey Bartlet to death, this is making me want to write more of her.
I’m hoping to update this sometime next weekish after i get my fave chapters posted here, but trying to stay on top of Coming of Age as well. hints for the update: the Mets… Bartlet’s first term… CJ Cregg babysitting….
okay bye love y’all 🥺❤️
Chapter 2
Notes:
soooooo glad to see people still like this story :))
i’ll try to keep transferring chapters throughout the week.
this chapter is honestly not my fave bc i think the way i wrote the other Bartlet staffers is a bit TOO villainy, yk? but oh well. apparently i was extra dramatic 4 years ago, and not above using anyone as a plot device, so enjoy that!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Charlie Young was, in his opinion, adjusting fairly well to working at the White House. Sure, his first night he'd been snapped at by the President of the United States, who was preparing to go on national television to announce military action at the time. And, sure, the hours were a little strenuous. And, sure, he didn't have much in common with his coworkers. But, nonetheless, he seemed to be settling in well.
It helped that the President seemed to be taking every measure to make him feel welcome. As was the sweet old woman who sat across from him. She reminded him what code words to use, what the color coding system was, and what warranted interrupting an Oval Office meeting. She also took surprisingly little crap from the President himself.
It also helped that - as Charlie had always known, deep down - this was exactly the kind of place he was meant to be. Maybe he wasn't in on the meetings just yet, but it was a good start, just to be near them. To be interacting with and becoming indispensable to some of the most important people in the world.
He was extremely effective at his job. Was he making friends? He wasn't really concerned about that.
A week in, he's at his desk, sifting through messages, when a young blonde woman strolls into the outer office.
Mrs. Landingham looks up with a smile. "Donnatella. How are you this morning?"
"I'm good, Mrs. Landingham. A little tired, maybe." She rests one hand on her stomach. Charlie can't help but notice that she is very pregnant. "How are you?"
"Fine, just fine. Thank you for asking."
Donnatella, as she has been named, stops in front of Charlie's desk with a conspicuously friendly smile. "You must be Charlie."
"Um, yes, I am."
"I'm Donna Moss." She sticks out a hand. "I work downstairs, in the communications office."
"Right. Nice to meet you." He accepts her handshake.
She continues to smile widely at him, and Mrs. Landingham shoots him a distinctly amused look. "How's your first week on the job been?"
"It's, um... It's been okay. Good, I mean." He covers, not wanting to sound ungrateful.
"It's a lot to take in, isn't it?" She intuits. "Things move fast around here."
"You can say that again." He agrees.
"I threw up on my first day, actually."
"Really?"
"Yeah. But, to be fair, I was three months pregnant. So I was throwing up pretty much that whole week."
"Right." He nods hesitantly. "Well, no nausea as of yet, so..."
"That's a good sign."
"I think so."
She gives him another cheery smile. "You're settling in well?"
"Oh, yeah. I think so."
"Have you met many people?"
"Well, I met the Birtish Prime Minister yesterday..."
She chuckles. "I mean, here. People you work with."
"Right. Um, yeah. I've met people. A few, anyway."
"Good! That's good."
"God, will you just ask him already?" Mrs. Landingham pipes up, without looking away from her computer screen.
Donna casts a glance her way, before turning back to Charlie with her biggest smile yet.
"Ask me what?"
"I was wondering if you'd like to come over for dinner." He must look confused, because she quickly elaborates. "Not just you, of course. It's something my husband and I do almost weekly. Well, maybe not weekly. But when we can. We have over a bunch of the West Wing staffers, and we have dinner."
"Oh. That's... Nice."
"It's just a little thing that goes on here. Almost everyone has been to one, and I figured it might be a nice way for you to get to know some of the people here." She smiles again.
"That's very kind of you."
She shrugs. "We'd love to have you."
"Who all will be there?"
"Oh, you know, most of senior staff." She says casually, and for a minute he thinks she must be joking. "Toby, Sam, CJ... I think Leo is busy tomorrow, but he's there sometimes. Margaret should be there. And Mrs. Landingham, of course, if she'll come."
Mrs. Landingham smiles. "And what exactly will you be serving tomorrow, Donnatella?"
"...Food."
"I see."
"I don't know that we'll have time to cook."
"You can cook?"
"Well, no."
"And what about your dear husband? Can he?"
"My 'dear husband' doesn't know a stove from a sink."
"Ah. As I thought."
"But you know I make the best takeout on the east coast."
"I'm only teasing, Donnatella. I'm out with a friend tomorrow, but I'll be by next week. And I'm bringing something."
"Mrs. Landingham, you don't have to-"
"Oh, but I do." She says resolutely, resuming tapping on her keyboard. "You really should go, Charlie. They're a hoot."
"Right." Charlie, for his part, is still hung up on the fact that basically the entire senior staff has dinner on the regular with this anonymous communications staffer. Sure, she's nice, but nice enough for the Chief of Staff to swing by semi-regularly for takeout?
Just then, the deputy Chief of Staff swings into the outer office, and smiles at Donna. "Oh, hey."
"Hey yourself. You here for me?"
"The President, actually."
Charlie isn't sure, but the way they're standing, and their tones of voice, they seem almost to be... Flirting? He shakes his head and says, "You can go in in a minute. Just wait for Ed to come out."
"Right." He nods, and turns back to Donna. "How are you feeling?"
"Fine."
"You look tired."
"I'm really fine."
To be fair, she does look pretty tired. Her shoulders are slumped, and there's a faint sheen of sweat on her forehead. Charlie admires the stamina it must take to work in the White Hoise while carrying a child. And, to add to that, he admires her shoes. Those things don't look comfortable to walk in on a good day, for anyone.
"How long have you been on your feet? Maybe you should lie down for a while."
"Where exactly would I do that?"
"Toby's office."
"He's got a meeting."
"He can take it in the Roosevelt room. I'll bully him." He takes a step toward the door, showing the sincerity of his intent. Charlie wonders what exactly it is about this woman that warrants so much of Bartlet's bulldog's concern - perhaps the same thing that garnered her so much face time with the rest of the senior staff.
"Josh? I'm kind of in the middle of something."
"What are you - Oh. Hey." He turns to look at Charlie, with a look of realization. "Did you ask him yet?"
"Josh is invited?" He asks. He doesn't know why he's surprised, it seems everyone with high security clearance will be there.
Donna smiles with false exasperation. "I know, he's a pain. But it's kind of hard to hide it from him, considering he lives there."
"He...Oh." Charlie feels very stupid for the few seconds that he wondered why Josh lived with a married couple. "Oh. He's your husband."
"I know. I have trouble believing it too, sometimes." She grins. Josh rolls his eyes and takes a step closer to her so that he can poke her side. She ignores him. "I mean, why a nice girl like me would ever-"
"Oh, can it. What he's probably wondering is how I could've settled so low."
Charlie recovers from his surprise enough to say, "I was not wondering that." Donna splits into a peal of laughter, and he's glad for her amusement. He hadn't really meant it as an insult to Josh, though. He was just generally surprised. When he'd met Josh last week, he hadn't exactly gotten a domestic vibe from the guy.
But, now that he thinks about it, maybe he'd misjudged him. He recalls Josh encouraging him to speak up in the Oval, congratulating him and then allowing him his moment - "It doesn't go away." He was half the reason Charlie had taken the job. He decides that Josh might actually make a great father.
"Okay, let's calm down." Josh says, not without humor. Donna quells her laughter, and he brings her in with a hand on her waist. "What did he say?"
"He didn't get the chance to answer yet. We were just getting to the part where Mrs. Landingham berates our poor cooking skills."
"I love that part." Josh looks over at Mrs. Landingham. "Will you be joining us tomorrow, Mrs. Landingham?"
"Not a chance. Shouldn't you learn how to cook, Josh? The poor girl is starving to death." She teases. She opens the cookie jar on her desk. "Have a cookie, Donnatella."
Donna grins. "Thank you, Mrs. Landingham."
"She is pretty obviously not starving." He defends. "Can I get a cookie?"
"No."
"Were you calling me fat, just then?"
"Never, dear. But, I am taking half of your cookie." He breaks it off without asking.
"Hey!" She elbows him soundly in the ribs.
Mrs. Landingham ignores their antics. "And what about when the baby comes? You'll need to be able to feed him."
"Well, I can mostly take care of that, for a while." Donna inputs.
"And after that, I'm pretty sure he eats mush out of jars."
"And after that, I think we can safely switch him over to takeout, don't you think, Josh?"
"Definitely."
"Hopeless." Mrs. Landingham mutters.
"We're joking, Mrs. Landingham. We're okay on the cooking front, okay? Promise."
"That's none of my concern, dear." She says primly, and they both grin.
"Anyway, Charlie." Donna turns back to him with an eager smile. "What do you say?"
"Um, that sounds nice. I'll come. What time?" He had at least solved the mystery of why these dinners were so high profile. Of course Leo wanted to spend time with his golden boy, and of course CJ, Sam, and Toby wanted to hang out with their metaphorical brother. And, he supposes, their sister, if they like Donna half as much as they seem to like her husband (however grudgingly).
"I don't know, maybe seven. Whenever people can get away. The apartment isn't far, I'll get Sam to come by and grab you so you can walk over together."
"Okay. I'll be there."
For the most part, Charlie enjoys his dinner. It's takeout he might be eating any other night of the week, but it's the company that makes it different. There's a certain dynamic in the group that feels intimate and familiar without being exclusionary. He fits in well.
He hasn't had a family dinner in months. He can't remember the last one he had with both parents. Some family friends had welcomed he and Deena into their homes since their mother passed, but this is different. No one here seems to pity him.
They hit rough waters around eight.
"So, how did you two meet?" Charlie asks politely. Or, maybe not just politely. He's a little genuinely curious.
Josh and Donna hadn't sat at opposite ends of the table, as he expected hosts to do, but together in one corner, close enough that their arms bumped while they ate. Which they would've anyway, because Donna continually steals food from Josh's plate. He makes a show of smacking her hand away the first few times and acting annoyed, but his feigned irritation fades quickly, and Charlie swears he's been piling food onto his plate that he doesn't intend to touch just because he knows she'll eat it. Occasionally, they mutter sidebar comments to each other that the rest of the table can't hear. Their other guests seem unphased by this behavior, as they're likely all accustomed to it.
Charlie was as skeptical as the next guy that Josh Lyman could be "cute" with anyone, but there aren't many other adjectives he can think of for the pair.
Donna gives him a sweet smile and bats her eyelashes as she swipes some of Josh's Lo Mein. "We met at a Hooters."
"She worked there."
"He soon became a regular on my shift-"
CJ interrupts with an exasperated smile. "Will you guys give the poor kid a break?"
"Sorry." Donna acknowledges. "It's too fun."
"We met on the campaign." Josh supplies.
"Oh, don't tell me you're going to leave it there." CJ balks.
"What?" Donna asks innocently.
"C'mon. It's a great story."
"It really isn't." She replies quickly. "Charlie would be bored by it-"
"It's got all the hallmarks of a great story, Donna." Toby interrupts her. "Forbidden love-"
"Cheating-"
"Violence-"
"Unplanned pregnancy-"
"A campaign for the Presidency."
"It's got it all." Toby confirms.
Donna flushes. "There wasn't any cheating." She grumbles, but doesn't deny the rest of it.
"I know someone who'd disagree."
"Hey, I called her!" Josh jumps in defensively. "I called her, and broke up with her."
"You left her a voicemail, Josh."
"Yeah, well." Josh fizzles out slightly. "Not my fault she was busy."
"I'm lost." Charlie says.
"See? We need to tell him the story."
"You don't need to tell me." Charlie is quick to say. If it's as salacious as they're all making it out to be, he isn't sure he wants to know. And, it's not his place. He's only known them a week. Donna is blushing, and he doesn't want to see her any more embarrassed. "It's okay."
"Aw, c'mon." CJ wheedles. "It's part of our shared history. Let's initiate the kid. It was the hottest gossip on the campaign, and frankly it's still some of our best drama to date. A recent exception being Sam and the call girl."
"What?" Charlie splutters.
It's Sam's turn to blush.
"All in good time, Charlie." CJ says sagely. "C'mon, guys. It'll bond him to us."
Josh and Donna share a look, and seem to communicate something nonverbally. After a minute, they both nod. "Okay. You can tell him."
"Great! Where should I start?" CJ says eagerly. She leans back in her chair, apparently pondering the subject matter. Charlie wonders vaguely how much wine she's had. "So, as I remember it, this leggy young blonde showed up at our office in New Hampshire one day."
"Yours truly." Donna acknowledges.
"And Josh hired her as his assistant. Anyway-"
"Okay, you're skipping the best part of the story." Josh interrupts. "In my opinion, anyway."
As he hadn't seemed eager to be involved in this, Charlie is curious as to what omission had bothered him. He tries to withhold judgment on the 'assistant' part which CJ had just dropped.
"What'd I leave out?"
"I didn't hire her. She hired herself."
"What?" Charlie asks.
"Oh, I remember." CJ smiles.
"Yeah. I was coming in from a meeting one day, and some girl was at my desk, answering my phone. And she told me she'd been assigned to me, as my new assistant. It soon became very obvious that she was, in fact, totally full of shit."
"Hey." Donna protests, but in an amicable way.
"She hadn't been hired. She just walked in, without talking to anyone, and started working. Isn't that crazy?"
"A little." Charlie acknowledges.
"She'd made up some elaborate story, too. And then I end up asking her about her qualifications, which she of course lied about."
"I wouldn't say lied, more like... Exaggerated." It's clear that Donna likes this part of the story.
"Turns out, this crackpot moved basically cross country to join the campaign, and conned her way into a job, all because her boyfriend broke up with her."
"There may have been some idealistic convictions there too, but Josh never remembers that part."
"The boyfriend becomes important later." Sam tips him off.
"So I, ya know, tell her we can't hire her. And then this girl - this girl who has just lied to me twenty times in the past five minutes, and has no qualifications - lectures me. She lectured me."
"So... You hired her?"
Josh shrugs sheepishly. "I mean, you try saying no to her."
Donna grins. "This is the part where Josh tries to act like anyone would've done the same thing in his position. But he's really just a sap who can't withstand my charms." She leans into him comfortably and puts a hand on his arm, knowing that she's just irritated him beyond belief.
"Okay, hold on-"
CJ cuts him off with a laugh. "She's so right. Anyway. Back to my story."
"But wait a-"
"Shh, idiot boy. We'll come back to you. So, anyway, Josh hires this girl. And, I won't lie, at the time we were all thinking it was because she was... Well, young, blonde, and leggy. Sorry." She gives Donna an apologetic look.
"None taken."
"But, we all quickly came to realize that she was smart as all hell and made Josh infinitely better at his job. So the dust settled on that." CJ takes a sip of wine, and allows for a pause as her expression becomes more amused. "Now, at the time, Josh was dating Mandy Hampton."
Charlie's eyes widen. "Mandy, like... The scary short woman who works on PR?"
"The very same." Josh affirms.
"Wow."
"Yes, wow." CJ continues. "Now, while the rest of us moved on from the fact that Donna here looks like a Barbie doll, Mandy never quite did."
Toby snorts. "Not all of us moved on. The reason Mandy was pissed was that Josh certainly didn't seem indifferent to... You know."
"Her fantastic legs?"
"I wasn't going to say that."
"They were so obvious." Sam informs Charlie.
In their corner, Josh and Donna are somewhat huddled together, as if hiding from this embarrassing tale.
"They were." CJ affirms. "God, they were annoying. If you think they're annoying now, you should've met unconsummated Josh and Donna. Much worse."
"We weren't that bad-"
"For two months, we had to deal with these two giggling in the back of the bus, or flirting in meetings. Insufferable."
"They were basically inseperable." Sam adds.
"They still are." Toby says, his tone indicating that he still finds them incredibly annoying.
"Okay, what I don't like is that this story makes it sound like I actually liked Josh."
"And like I had a thing for Donna. When, let's be honest, she's only kind of okay." Donna elbows him again.
CJ ignores them. "So, two months in, these two finally get it together. The only problem was, somebody didn't bother to tell Mandy."
"Okay, I've said it before, I called her."
"And left a voicemail." Donna counters, still obviously miffed by this detail. "If I'd known that, I never would've... Well, you know."
"We do." CJ says shortly. "So, what Josh didn't know was that Mandy was on a plane when he called her. She landed, she drove to the office, and she listened to the voicemail in the office parking lot."
"Oh god." Charlie knows where this is going.
"Right. So, like any reasonable woman would, she stormed into the building to scream at him. It was right there in the middle of the office, too. She asked why he would possibly end things, and this idiot-" she inclines her head toward Josh, "-had the inexplicable stupidity to say, 'I'm with someone else now.'"
"...What happened?"
"Oh, she slapped him, Charlie." CJ grins at the memory. "It was so great. It was like a soap opera."
"It was not that great for me." Josh glares at her.
"C'est la vie, mi amor."
"I think you just blended languages there, CJ."
"Whatever. Does someone want to take it from here?"
"I will." Sam steps in gallantly.
"Oh god." Tony groans. "Get ready for him to wax poetic."
Sam shifts in his seat primly. "I can't help it that I'm a natural storyteller, Toby."
"No, no. Go on." Toby swills his wine and likely tunes the rest of them out, as per usual.
"Well, for the rest of the campaign, smooth sailing. I mean, mostly. They had a few upsets - like that night they had a drinking contest? Classic. - but they were pretty stable. Most of us figured it was just a campaign fling, and would fizzle out, but it didn't. We accepted it. We moved on to better gossip."
"The more enlightened of us didn't gossip at all." Toby says idly. Evidently, he is still listening.
"By better gossip, you mean you and Lisa?" Josh inquires casually.
Sam gives him a sharp look. "Among other things. Anyway, the next big thing was about seven months later. Election night. High on victory, our friends here got a little reckless."
"She got me drunk." Josh blurts.
Donna rolls her eyes. "Yeah, that was it."
"And, well... New life came into the world." Sam says delicately, making a gentle gesture with his hands.
"See? Waxing poetic."
"I got knocked up." Donna says bluntly, and rather cheerfully, Charlie notes.
"Right." Charlie is sure his expression must be pretty screwed up by now.
"So, they panicked for a little while. And then they decided to get married."
"Okay, don't put it like that." Josh interrupts roughly. "Don't make it sound like we got married because she got pregnant."
Sam is taken aback by the harshness of his best friend's tone. "I didn't mean..."
"We would've gotten married anyway. Just... Later." He says defensively. Donna subtly takes his hand.
"I know, Josh." Sam says placatingly. "But, anyway. They decided to get married... A little ahead of schedule."
Josh nods approvingly.
"And, could they have just eloped on any normal night? A Saturday, perhaps? Oh no. These guys, in what I'm realizing now is a very symbolic way, conceived a baby on election night and got married on Inauguration night."
Most everyone at the table screws up their face at Sam's tacky symbolism, and at his use of the word 'conceived.'
"You got married... On the night of the inauguration?"
They don't really look at him. They're looking at each other, smiling slightly. "It was sort of... Spur of the moment."
"Attention hogs."
They don't seem to notice the insult. They don't seem to notice anything.
"So they eloped. And then, of course, Donna's whole Protestant family was livid about the shotgun wedding. So they had this wedding reception, a few weeks later, which basically half the Midwest turned out for."
Josh snorts. "You can say that again."
"And this is my favorite part. Her ex-boyfriend showed up."
"To the reception?"
"Oh yeah. Same one she broke up with before the campaign - I told you he'd be important later. Anyway, he was crazy. He was shouting, and he said some pretty awful things. I won't repeat them."
Donna seems grateful for this.
"And would you believe it? Josh punched him in the face."
"He... What?" His existing image of Josh had pretty much been torn apart by this evening, but Charlie still has trouble believing that Josh could hit anyone.
"I know, right? We were all as surprised as you are."
"If it helps, Charlie, he's still a weak-ass Connecticut yuppie who can't hold his own in a fight. But, he had the power of very intense familial rage on his side. And he did the right thing."
Not everything Charlie has perceived about Josh was wrong, because he ignores Toby's compliment and says, "Okay, let's be clear. I could take you any day of the week."
"Babe." Donna places a calming hand on his shoulder. "Toby's from Brooklyn."
Toby grins. "Not even your own wife has faith in you."
"Okay, Ziegler, if you want to take this outside-"
"Ooh, can we place bets? My money's on Toby." Donna says eagerly. Her husband glares at her, and she laughs.
"Mine too."
"Mine too."
"And, that's it. That's the story. I mean, there's more, involving noise complaints, and in laws, and traffic jams, but... That's the gist of it." Sam concludes.
"That's, um... One hell of a story." Charlie decides. He isn't sure why he'd needed to hear it, though.
"Isn't it?" CJ enthuses.
A lull settles over the table, and they all seem to realize that they've finished eating, and the meal is over. Toby has a few sips of wine left, but other than that, they're done.
CJ says something first. "It's still early. Do you guys feel like going for a night cap?"
Sam shrugs. "Sure."
Toby nods. "Yeah."
"I'll go." Charlie isn't one to rock the boat - not yet, anyway. He's still the new guy.
Josh glances at Donna. "Can't."
CJ, Sam, and Toby all share an amused glance.
Donna looks back at him. "Sure you can."
The shared glance turns to one of surprise.
"I... What?"
"I can't go out for a drink, but I didn't think you were pregnant too." She teases lightly.
He furrows his brow. "I don't want to leave you alone."
She chuckles. "I think I'll manage."
"Wait... Really?"
"Yeah, sure. They're initiating Charlie. You shouldn't miss it."
"Well, it looks like I can come." He grins widely, a boyish excitement overtaking him. The other three senior staffers whoop and cheer for him, only a little sarcastically. He kisses the top of Donna's head. "I love you."
She rolls her eyes. "You guys are helping me clean up before you go."
"Deal." Four voices assure her.
"You're sure, Donna? We don't have to, we weren't thinking about... You know." Toby says vaguely as they start clearing the table.
"Are you kidding? I get to have my nice dinner with you guys, and get Josh out of my hair for the rest of the night? This is best case scenario." They all laugh, and even Josh smiles begrudgingly.
Ten minutes later, they're all standing outside on the sidewalk, waiting for Josh to say goodbye to Donna.
"You're sure you want me to go?"
"Dear god, yes. You've been driving me up the wall. You worry too much."
"You're sweet, you know?"
"Just don't get too wasted."
"No promises."
"Hey, can one of you be designated to carry Josh home when he inevitably passes out?" She calls over his shoulder.
"No."
"Not me."
"I did it last time."
"I did it for years."
"I'm not gonna pass out, geez."
"I'll do it." Charlie calls with a slight smile.
"Thanks, Charlie. You're one of the good ones."
Josh kisses her, and then bounds down the steps. "Love you!"
"That's not going to work."
"Sure it is."
"Toby, come on."
"I'm saying, we get him in a room, alone. And then..."
"And then what?"
"And then, I don't know, we beat him with a baseball bat. The guy's a jackass."
"Is that how things are done in Brooklyn?" Josh asks with amusement.
"Yes, actually."
Charlie laughs.
"I think we should leave Congress to Josh on this one."
"Thank you." Josh subtly checks his watch, not for the first time that night. Toby notices.
"Why do you keep checking the time?"
"What? Oh. No reason." He takes a swig of his drink.
"Because he wants to go home." CJ intuits. "He wants to go home, but he has to stay an appropriate amount of time first."
"Oh, c'mon, Josh. Live a little." Sam encourages.
"No, I am. It's just... I don't know. Donna's in this weird nesting phase where she's constantly moving furniture, and I don't want her to hurt herself, and-" he's cut off by a rousing chorus of his friends making whipping sounds. He holds up his hands in defeat. "Okay, okay. I'll try to live a little."
"No, no, Josh. Don't let us keep you."
"When did Josh become so whipped?"
"Remember when he used to be fun?"
"I do. God, hammered Josh was... A ride."
"For sure. Remember nights early on the campaign trail, when we would all drown our sorrows together?"
"Didn't Josh try to scale a building once?"
"Try being the key word, there."
"That's nothing. Back when Josh and I lived together-"
"I like my new roommate much better." Josh inputs.
"-he puked on my girlfriend."
"He did?"
"Oh, yeah. He was so wasted, and she was nice and wanted to take care of him, so she was on the couch with him-"
"I think there were other reasons she wanted to be on the couch with me, actually."
"-and he puked in her lap."
"Josh, let it never be said that you're not a man of class."
Josh rolls his eyes. "Okay, guys. I get it."
"Remember when he used to get drunk just so that Mandy wouldn't want to spend the night with him?"
"Oh god, yeah. But I would too, honestly."
"Marriage has changed him."
"Made an honest man out of him."
"Imagine what he'll be like when the baby comes."
"Poor guy."
"Okay, you know what?" Josh stands up abruptly. The rest of them stop tittering to look at him. "I'm going home."
"What? Josh, c'mon. We're just messing with you."
"I just... This isn't where I should be right now."
"Ah, God. It's too late for him. He's been sucked into the cult of domesticity."
"Is that a cousin of the cult of personality?"
"Something like that, yes. But with more diapers."
He narrows his eyes dangerously. "Don't even know why the hell I came out with you guys."
"...to have some fun, for once?"
"That wasn't it. It was that... I don't know. I'm losing this, too, you know? And in two months it'll practically be gone, and I want to enjoy it, I do, but... God, can't you guys just be happy for me?"
They all stare up at him, wide-eyed. It had all been a game until now. "We are." CJ says weakly, setting down her grasshopper.
"You have a funny way of showing it." He sighs. "Don't know why I came out with you guys tonight." He repeats in a mutter. "You were being assholes at dinner, don't know why I thought you would've improved."
"What were we doing at dinner?"
"The story! The stupid story! You just had to tell it, didn't you?"
"I don't know what's wrong with-"
"You couldn't let her have one person in the building that didn't know the damn story, could you?" His gaze flicks to Charlie. "Sorry, Charlie. This isn't your fault."
"I don't see why-"
"You know why. You do. You know how you tell it, and you know what that story makes her. We've all heard the same shit from people, okay? And she hears it too. I just didn't think you guys encouraged it."
"Josh, we didn't-"
"Whatever. It doesn't matter, I'm going home."
Charlie understands what he's talking about. To them, it's a funny story. To Donna, it manages to make her both 'the other woman' and 'the girl who got knocked up' in one fell swoop.
"Josh, wait. C'mon, you're overreacting."
"She misses this too, you know. She misses you guys - don't know why, but she does. She knows things are changing, that we can't do this anymore, and... She just wants to keep you guys around. She doesn't want to be isolated. So she does the dinner thing, so you guys have a decent meal at least once a week, with people you like, and..."
And then they go out afterward, making her feel like her part of the night hadn't been enough. And she feels isolated, anyway.
"We miss her too." CJ says, genuinely. "And we love the dinner thing. Honestly, best part of my week."
"Mine too." Sam admits.
"Mm." Toby says gruffly. Sam shoots him a look. "Mine too."
"And definitely Leo's." CJ adds.
"Then... Why do you do this?"
CJ bristles. "Sorry if we still want to have lives, Josh."
This was definitely the wrong thing to say. "You know what? Fine. Enjoy your night. But while you're drinking, I'm going home to my wife. And at the end of the night, you're all going home to empty apartments. Which is probably why you're drinking."
Toby tips his drink back. "Screw you, Josh."
Josh clenches his keys in one hand, and remains strikingly calm. "Guys, I'm going to have a kid in two months." His eyes glow just thinking about it. "So excuse me if everything else seems a little small."
"So now we're small to you?"
Josh doesn't respond. "Have a good night, Charlie." And with that, he walks out of the bar. In the tense silence that follows, they all avoid eye contact.
The funny thing is, Charlie no longer has any trouble believing that Josh would slug some guy who got too close to his wife.
Eventually, Toby says, "Fuck him."
"Yeah." CJ agrees half-heartedly. "Screw him, and screw his perfect life. He's been domesticized, poor guy. We might never see him again."
"Yeah. Sucks for him." Sam concurs.
At this, Charlie can't keep quiet. "You're all so full of it."
They all turn to look at him, shock written on their faces. "What?"
"He's right. You guys are jealous."
"We're not-"
"Which is fine. It's natural. But what's not fine? Being shitty about it to them."
They all wilt considerably. Evidently, they didn't have their expected echo chamber. "We weren't trying to..."
"And, you know what? I respect him way more now than I would've if he staggered home drunk to his pregnant wife."
They exchange a glance. "Fair enough."
Charlie takes a sip of his drink, which he's barely touched. "I had my doubts, but... I think that guy's gonna make a good dad."
For a minute, they just watch him. Finally, CJ raises her grasshopper with a half-smile. "I'll drink to that."
"You're back!"
Josh tosses his keys on the table and walks tiredly around the couch to slump down beside his wife. "Yeah."
"It's only been... What, an hour?" She glances at the clock.
"Something like that."
"And you're sober?"
"Almost entirely."
"Wow. I'm impressed."
"Am I crashing your plans for the night?"
She smiles, and leans into his shoulder. "No. I wasn't too sold on the whole solitude thing."
"I shouldn't have gone."
"What are you talking about? I told you to go."
"Yeah, but... I don't know. They were being kind of shitty."
She glances up at him. "You noticed that too?"
"Yeah."
"They were just... I don't know. I don't think they realize it."
"They do now."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, I'm not exactly expecting a warm welcome tomorrow morning."
"Josh, you didn't."
"I did, a little."
"It wasn't a big deal."
"I don't know. They just kept going on about the way things used to be, before, and..."
"And you got a little bit touchy?"
"...Yeah."
"That's really very sweet."
"Whatever."
"It is."
"And, I was sitting there, listening to these idiots-"
"World class political minds, but continue."
"-and I wondered what the hell I was doing there."
"They're your friends."
"Yeah. But, I just... I had somewhere better to be."
"Aw."
"Are you watching a lifetime movie?"
"Yes."
"Donna."
"I was alone! It was on!"
"I take it back. This is not a better place to be."
"Josh, listen. This woman accidentally paralyzed her husband-"
"Oh my god."
"You're a snob."
"How are you feeling?"
"I'm good."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah. But, I need a favor."
"What?"
"See that armchair?"
"...Yes."
"Can you move it over there?"
"Why?"
"For..." She gestures vaguely. "Atmospheric purposes."
"I hate you."
"You love me. You love me so much you ditched drinking with your friends, to watch a lifetime movie with me."
"We're changing the movie."
Early the next morning, Charlie is at his desk, despite a somewhat late night. After the Josh spat had blown over, he had actually had a pretty good time with the others. They became nicer, and more genuine, once they realized that the way to impress him wasn't a wild night, but good conversation and decency.
"How was dinner last night?" Mrs. Landingham asks him.
"It was... Good. I enjoyed it. What about your thing with your friend?"
"Oh, it was nice." She smiles, obviously still on his evening. "I told you they were something, didn't I?"
"Yeah."
"Sweet, though. They try. Her especially. And it's... Nice, to have somewhere to go once in a while. Since my boys aren't here."
He wonders where her sons live. "Yeah. I get that."
Donna Moss strolls into the Outer Office, as she'd done earlier in the week; this time, she looks more natural. She doesn't have anything to ask him this time. "Hi Charlie. Hi Mrs. Landingham."
"Hello, dear."
"Hi." Charlie makes a point of looking at her sincerely when he says, "I enjoyed dinner last night."
"Oh yeah? Thanks, Charlie."
"I hope those guys apologized to you."
She blinks in surprise. She hadn't thought he'd noticed. "They did, actually. This morning. They apologized to me and Josh. Which is weird, because, you know, normally Josh is the one I have to force into apologizing for something."
"Right." Charlie smiles. Mrs. Landingham watches them curiously.
"It was just... A misunderstanding. They mean well. And I love them, I do."
"I can tell. They obviously feel the same way." He thinks that maybe, he'll feel the same way about these people one day.
"Thanks, Charlie."
"I was wondering... The next time I come for dinner, could I bring my sister Deena? I try to spend time with her. And, you know, I think she'd like it. She could use some stability, and some maturity, in her life." As a twenty-one year old kid, he can only provide so much.
Donna looks taken aback by this request. She blinks quickly a few times, and folds her hands on top of her stomach. She gives him a truly heartwarming smile. "Charlie, I would love that."
"Really? Thanks."
"Of course, of course." She says as though it's no big deal - but her eyes give her away. He'd be lying if he said he hadn't hoped it would affect her this way.
They exchange goodbyes, and she leaves the office in high spirits and a slight daze. Nothing can compare to the joy of affirming that for at least one person, she had provided a sense of family.
Notes:
hope you enjoyed this glimpse of the old me’s writing style 😅
i’ll be back to post more chapters soon! and the update we’re all waiting for….
thanks for all the encouragement! you guys keep me going ❤️
Chapter 3
Notes:
another one for ya!! if you haven’t seen this before, this chapter is just like, entirely about Josh’s mental illness lol. i might do one like this for Donna eventually?? maybe?
getting closer to updating this! having so much fun being back in this AU :)
italicized lines are taken from Neil Hilborn’s poem Me, But Happy. which remains one of my favorite poems of all time!
TW for brief mentions of suicidality.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
You're the best thing that's happened to me since I was like, born.
Donna walks slowly through the Days Inn conference center which, in a matter of a few hours, was turned into the Bartlet for America war room. Most rooms are dark, the clutter of desks from which junior staffers made phone calls and sent emails have been abandoned for the night, leaving a debris of red bull cans and snack wrappers for the local campaign team to clean up after they take off tomorrow morning. She feels kind of bad for the groundwork team, as she always does, because the national campaign staff always blow into town like a hurricane and make the locals, who actually know the state, drop everything for them.
She passes a cluster of chairs and couches where the Governor and his most trusted staff had had a lengthy strategy meeting a few hours earlier. The rolling white board they'd taken notes on is conspicuously missing. Donna has a feeling that its absence is likely connected to the only light still on in the conference center, emanating from an adjoining room.
She creeps to the doorway and peers into the room. As it has been since they arrived, the long conference table is a mess of papers and empty pizza boxes. The missing white board is in the corner, and her missing boyfriend of two months is predictably hunched over the table, glancing between some memo, his laptop, and a notepad. He's chewing his pen.
She raps lightly on the doorframe, and he jolts visibly. She smiles softly. "Hey."
"Hey." He looks up blearily from whatever he's doing. "What are you, um... What are you doing here?" He asks blankly.
"You said you'd come down to the bar and join us, remember?"
"Yeah, yeah. But not until..."
"Midnight. Yeah, I remember."
"Well, it's only-" He lifts his wrist to squint at his watch.
"It's two in the morning, Josh." She completes for him gently.
He continues to stare disbelievingly at his watch. "It is?"
"Yeah. Everyone else has gone to bed."
"Oh." He looks up at her guiltily. "You could've gone to bed."
"Thought I'd come check on you."
"I'm sorry, I know I said-"
"It's okay." She takes a few steps into the room. "Whatcha working on?"
"We're trailing in North Carolina, but our next stop has to be New York, but if we get down South after the Senator we look like we're following his lead, and..." He sighs. "It's, um. It's complicated."
She knows he's not trying to be condescending. He just doesn't want to put her through the total run down of what he's obsessing about. He wouldn't even do that to Leo, at least not until he has a concrete plan.
"You think you'll be wrapping up soon?"
"I, um..." He looks around the office wearily. "I don't know."
"You need to get some sleep, Josh."
"I will, I just..." He runs a hand through his hair, which has already reached its peak of untameability. "Not yet."
"Josh." She intones softly, walking around the conference table.
He hates that that's all she has to do. All she has to do is say his name in that understanding, firm tone of hers and suddenly he feels all of his well practiced defense mechanisms falling at his feet. He stands up, agitated, and paces a few steps away from her, not quite ready to give up. "Listen, you may have noticed, but this work I do is kind of important, so..." He sends her a twisted smile.
She folds her arms. "Exactly. That's why you shouldn't be doing it when you're sleep deprived and overworked."
She's not backing down, he realizes. "I'm fine, okay? Really, I'm..."
Her look stops him mid sentence. He wonders how it is that she does this. In any other relationship, if he were questioned on his workaholism, he'd know exactly how to respond. He'd send back clever quips about needing to make the world a better place, and how he couldn't possibly be doing anything else. He would imply not-so-subtly that his work came first. He would be just the right amount of smug and condescending, and within a few days he'd find himself single again. Which was good, because it gave him more time to work.
Somehow, Donna sees through that. She's ten years his junior but is somehow infinitely wiser and more insightful, as he finds out by the day. She knows that to him, his devotion to his work is not just a source of pride - it is a source of shame. Especially now that he's with someone he actually would rather spend time with than work.
For all his bravado and cockiness, he has just been fearing the day that someone might notice that he doesn't work just because he wants to, but because he has to. He doesn't know how to do anything else.
"Josh?"
"Mm?"
"Don't you ever turn off?"
His arms fall to his sides, and he can't pretend anymore. His voice comes out soft and uncertain, "I don't know how."
Her expression doesn't change, just remains unwaveringly sympathetic, as if she expected this. She closes the distances between them and places her hands on his shoulders. "It's okay."
"I'm really sorry."
"You don't have to be sorry."
"I didn't notice how late it was, I would've-"
"I know you didn't."
He rests his hands on her waist. "Thanks for... You know."
She smiles. One of her hands snakes up the back of his neck and threads through his hair. Closing his eyes, he allows his head to dip so that his forehead rests against hers. Eventually, she says, "We're going to go to bed, okay?"
He doesn't open his eyes. "I'm finding my ability to sleep very dubious at the moment."
"Well, before we go to bed, we're going to working on finding a way to turn your brain off."
He pulls back to give her a suggestive smirk. "Oh yeah?"
She rolls her eyes. "Not that way."
"Yeah, I figured."
She pulls away from him and takes his hand, giving it a gentle tug. "C'mon."
"You don't have to do this, you know," he says as he follows her.
"I want to."
Twenty minutes later, he emerges from the bathroom to find Donna nestled comfortably on the bed, a pillow in her lap and the TV remote in hand. She had insisted that step one of turning him off for the night involved him taking a shower, despite the fact that this was something he usually did in the morning. (When you're running on four hours of sleep, there are certain things you have to do to wake up).
"Hey," she greets cheerfully.
"Hey."
"You're clean."
"Yeah." He climbs onto the bed beside her. "What are we doing?"
"We're going to watch TV."
"The news?" He asks hopefully.
She sends him a withering glance. "Not a chance."
"Fine. What?"
"Something you'll be able to completely veg out with."
"And that's...?"
"Aha! Friends. Perfect."
"A sitcom? Seriously?"
"When's the last time you watched something that wasn't the news?" She challenges.
"Uh, baseball?" He tries.
"Yeah, considering how often you yell at the TV when you watch sports, I'd say they're also not great for relaxation." She settles back against the headboard and pats the pillow in her lap. "C'mere."
"What?"
"Put your head here."
He gives her a look. "Donna."
"Josh," she echoes.
He knows that no outside observer would believe him, but with that simple exchange, they've practically had an entire conversation. He succumbs to her pointed look with a sigh, and lays down with his head in her lap.
She shifts happily, and reaches over to turn off the bedside lamp, the last remaining light in the room aside from the TV. She leans back again and begins gently threading her fingers through his damp hair.
Ten minutes later, after watching the six twentysomethings meet in the coffeehouse for the umpteenth time, Josh mumbles, "Donna, don't any of these people have jobs?"
"Well, she's a chef, and he's-"
"I mean, how do they afford such nice apartments?"
She holds back a laugh. "Very good questions, hon."
After that, he's out like a light.
I wanna thank you for wanting me to be me, but happy.
Josh knows that something either very wonderful or very terrible is about to happen when his wife walks into his office without warning and closes the door behind her.
"Uh, hi?" He starts.
"Hi." She says easily, and moves to take a seat in his visitor's chair. One hand rests protectively on her stomach, though she's hardly showing. It makes him smile a little when she does that.
"What's up?"
"I wanted to talk to you about something."
He rolls away from his computer and looks at her across his desk. There's something off, he decides. "Is everything okay?"
"Yeah, of course. Why wouldn't it be?"
"I don't know. You shut the door."
"Well, yeah. I wanted to talk to you about something privately, but it's nothing bad." She gives him a reassuring smile.
Very off, he decides. He gets up and walks around his desk to face her, because talking to her like this feels weird. This is how he holds meetings, not how he holds conversations with his wife. He leans back against his desk, hands in his pockets. "Okay. Shoot."
"I talked to Addie earlier today."
"Okay. About what?"
"Well, she was a little concerned."
"About what?" He repeats, desperately hoping this isn't going where he thinks it's going.
"She says you've been ducking calls from a doctor. This guy named Stanley Brewer."
Yeah, turns out it's going exactly where he feared it would. He tenses in alarm, wondering how best to get out of this. He plasters on a nervous smile. "Oh, okay, you know what that is? That's nothing to worry about, it's just this doctor I used to see before my insurance changed, but he-"
"I looked him up."
"You... What?" He's not sure who he's more upset at, Stanley for making the damn calls or Addie for ratting him out.
"The only Dr. Stanley Brewer who practices in the DC area is a well recommended psychotherapist and psychiatrist who practices on the east side of town."
He closes his eyes. He wishes, childishly, that he could hide from her in this moment. All he wants is to hide under his desk until she leaves, and hopefully forgets about this information forever. "Donna, it's um... I can explain."
"Explain what?"
"It's not like I go to therapy." He says quickly. He feels his anxiety climbing as he hastens to find a less embarrassing version of the truth. "I mean I did. Briefly. Very briefly. It was a long, long time ago, you know, I haven't been in forever, and did I mention how briefly I went? And it was only because Hoynes made me, you know, because of this thing, and-"
"Woah, woah, slow down." She interrupts. She looks up at him with a look he can't place. He fears at first that it's pity, the last thing he wants, but that's not quite it. She reaches out to place a hand on his leg. "Josh, you don't have to explain anything to me."
He looks in surprise at her hand, and then at her face. Her eyes are wide, and full of understanding. She doesn't look afraid of him, which is strange. She doesn't look repulsed, either, and she has yet to ask him for a divorce. A few of his worst fears dissipate. "Uh, yeah, I do."
"Are you... Embarrassed about this?" She sounds like she's surprised by this, as if she doesn't know that bearing any part of himself is usually accompanied by intense shame and deflection. But then, he's been more open with her than with anyone else, so maybe she isn't as well versed in this winning quality of his.
He gapes at her. "Wouldn't you be?"
She shrugs. "It's nothing to be embarrassed about."
He splutters, trying to find a way to say 'easy for you to say'without being too aggressive. "Yes, it is!"
"Josh, I would love for you to explain to me whatever your history with therapy is, but only because I'm your wife and I like knowing things about you, especially where matters of health are concerned, but that's it. Not because you have to justify anything. You don't."
"You're not... Freaked out by this?"
"You seem to be the one that's freaking out here, babe."
He smiles, exasperated. "I'm serious."
"No, I'm not freaked out. I married you, I love you, I'm not about to jump ship because you go to therapy."
"Went to therapy."
"I mean, what do you take me for here? You really think I'd care that much?"
He looks away from her. "No."
"Well, okay then." She smiles again. "Now that we've established that, you want to start over?"
"Yeah. That would be good." He hesitates. He grabs her hand and squeezes it once before getting up and pacing a few steps away from her. He puts his hands on his hips. "So, you, uhh, might've noticed I have a tendency to bury myself in work."
She puts a hand over her heart, feigning shock. "You?"
He smiles. "I know. Hard to believe. Anyway, this was years ago... Maybe five years ago, when I was still working for John Hoynes in the Senate, and... It was the week after my dad was diagnosed."
"Oh no."
"Yeah. So, naturally, I was-"
"Spending all waking hours in the office?"
"You know me well."
"And by all waking hours, I mean all hours."
"Right. So it's been about four days of me sleeping at the office, and the Senator found me working one morning, and realized I hadn't slept in god knows how long, and hadn't been home in even longer..." He runs a hand through his hair. "He ordered me to go home."
"You didn't."
"I did not, you're right. There was this meeting I really wanted to go to about this health care bill, right? So I told him I'd go home after that. And then at the meeting, there was this Senator, Senator Briggs... He's not there anymore, but, that guy was a real dick." He pauses. "He said some things about experimental cancer treatment funding, and..."
Donna winces. "Oh no."
"Yeah. You can see where this is going."
"You snapped."
"I threw something at him."
She leans forward in her chair. "You what?"
He looks at her sheepishly. "Okay, maybe you didn't see that part coming."
"You threw something at him?"
"A binder."
"Oh my god."
"This story makes me sound really unhinged, doesn't it?"
"It doesn't make you sound... Hinged."
His chin drops to his chest. "Yeah. See, I knew this would be bad."
"Josh, c'mon, I'm kidding."
"Yeah, well, Hoynes wasn't exactly pleased with the display either. But he didn't fire me. He mandated that I go to therapy."
Donna gives him an appraising look. "You know, this might be one of the few moments in which I've liked John Hoynes."
"I went pretty much for as long as I worked for him. I would've tapered off after a while, but... Stanley seemed to think I had some significant..." He grudgingly raises his arms for sarcastic air quotes, "'issues.'"
Her expression softens. "Josh."
He doesn't look at her. "But, I stopped going during the campaign. And I haven't gone since. So it's not a big-"
"I think you should go back." She interrupts.
He stares at her. "What?"
"I think you should go back." She repeats calmly. "You haven't been in over a year, and it's been a seriously tumultuous year for you. And I don't think that not wanting me to know is a good reason for not going."
"There's also the part where I work in the White House now."
"So what? I guarantee you a hell of a lot of the people who work here go to therapy."
He fumbles. "But, but... I went because I was unhappy."
"...Okay."
"And, well, you make me happy. I don't need it anymore."
She feels her heart threaten to melt at his expression. "I'm glad you're happier, but, Josh... You know I don't fix those things for you, right?"
"I know, but..."
"Josh, listen. In the past year and a half alone, you quit your job, you were on the road for months at a time, you met me, you got married, you won an election, your father died, and now you're going to be a father." As she rattles off the impressive list, he starts to truly think about how much of a whirlwind this year has been for him. "Given all of those things, I think anyone could use a little help. Even people who weren't already struggling with some of the things you're struggling with."
He considers this. "You... Really want me to go?"
"I want you to do whatever's right for you. The choice is ultimately yours, but... Don't not go because of me."
He watches her cautiously. "You don't think I'm crazy?"
Her face splits into a grin. "I do. But not because of any of the things we've just talked about."
He grins back. Hers is infectious. He reaches out one hand to her, and when she takes it, he pulls her to her feet. "Thanks for this."
She wraps her arms around his waist. "Any time. I want you to remember something."
"What?"
"I love you. I'm married to you. That means all of you, okay? I didn't just sign on for the easiest parts of you. I signed on for all of you, just like you signed on for all of me. And god knows I can be crazy sometimes."
He shakes his head, still smiling. He kisses her once. "I love you too."
"You didn't refute me."
"Oh, didn't I? I didn't notice."
Before I met you I wanted to be dead all the time.
I still do because of the, you know, mental illness but now that you're here I don't want to want to die anymore.
She's taking out her braid when he says it. She's standing at the foot of the bed, where's he's sitting, pulling out the braid in her hair because it had felt tight all throughout dinner. It's their second full day in Hawaii and they're wearing clothes, which is pretty rare given the nature of this trip, and she's taking out her braid when he says, "Why are you with me?"
She looks up, momentarily confused. They'd had a great dinner. They were laughing moments ago about something stupid, an inside joke about something that happened on the campaign trail a long time ago, and everything had been fine. He had done that adorable thing where he moved his chair because he doesn't like sitting on the opposite side of the table from her, and they had talked about how much they missed their baby but also how good it felt to be alone for once. Everything had been perfect.
But now he is looking at her with wide eyes filled with such intense misery and insecurity that it takes her breath away. The perfect illusion has shattered. He looks so lost. Her heart breaks for him, that he should be so plagued as to ever have to ask that. Stanley had mentioned some serious symptoms, like depressive episodes, and suicidal thoughts, but this... Her hands fall from her hair and one lands on her chest. She stares at him, her eyes slowly filling with tears. "Oh, Josh..."
He immediately attempts to cover. He attempts a feeble smile. "Donna, no, c'mon. I'm sorry. I can go back to being cocky and obnoxious, honestly, just please don't cry."
She shakes her head fervently. "No, no! God, no. Don't pretend for me. Please. That is really not what this trip is about." She hastily brushes aside her tears.
"I know, but I didn't mean..."
She sinks onto the bed beside him, stopping him with a hand on his wrist. She shakes her head again. "Just... Just give me a minute, okay?"
He continues to look regretful. With his free hand, he wipes the remaining tears from her face. "Donna, you don't have to..."
She closes her eyes, trying to gather her thoughts. Why are you with me? Where does she begin?
She thinks about how unlike the persona he's cultivated in DC this side of him is. She feels somehow both grateful and a little sad that so few others know this vulnerable side of him.
She certainly wishes he didn't feel so horrible, but she's glad that at least he's telling her.
"I can't believe you'd ask me that."
He looks away from her. "Okay, I-"
"No, I'm glad you are." She puts her hand on the side of his face and forces him to look at her. "I'm with you because I love you." He opens his mouth to respond, but she continues before he can, "And before you ask, I love you, in ridiculous, insane amounts, because you're good. And you're dedicated, and devoted, and loyal to a fault, and possibly the hardest working person I've ever met. You're smart, but then, that's the obvious part, you know? And you're such an amazing father, and you're so loving, and kind, though you hide it well, and I'm loathe to admit but you are funny, and-"
He cuts her off with an uncomfortable laugh. "Please. Stop. You don't have to do this."
"I wasn't finished!"
He wraps his hand around the back of her neck, and kisses her cheek. "You're freaking me out. I like it better when you tell me what an idiot I am."
A few more stray tears slip past her lashes. "Well, I'll get back to that, really, but you've gotta understand something first."
"What?"
"I'm glad every day that you're here. Okay?"
He sighs. "Okay."
"And I consider myself beyond lucky to know you, let alone be with you. We clear?"
He rolls his eyes. "Clear."
Half a smile tugs at her lips. "And because you say this to me all the time, 'you're perfect.'"
"Okay, now that one's just too far out."
"Well, you're perfect to me, that counts, right?"
He shakes his head, smiling. "You're so cheesy."
"Yeah, well."
"Donna?"
"Yeah?"
"Thank you."
She runs one thumb tenderly across his cheek. "You're welcome," she says before pressing a kiss to his forehead.
"I'm sor-"
"Don't say it." She puts her hand over his mouth, and he raises his eyebrows at her. Her mouth twitches into another smile. "But, for what it's worth? That was a really stupid question. You're such an idiot sometimes."
She feels him smile under her hand.
Sure, there are probably infinite dimensions, but I'm with you in this one, so why would I try to find them?
Ronna stares at the campaign manager's door, contemplative. The other staffers had assured her it was nothing, that Josh had outbursts and weird moments all the time, but she isn't convinced. She's seen those same outbursts as everyone else. This is different.
Growing up, her younger brother had suffered a lot of panic attacks. She's well versed in them, enough to know that they don't always present as someone hyperventilating and asking for a paper bag. Sometimes, it's irritability. Sometimes it's unspecified agitation, or even "spaciness." Sometimes it's the inability to stop staring blankly at a wall.
"I'm going to make a phone call." That's what Josh had muttered before slamming his office door. But she spies his cell phone sitting out on a table, and she knows something's up. Maybe he's using the office phone, but still. Enough isn't adding up that she decides to do something.
She grabs his phone and after a moment of deliberation, presses number one on the speed dial.
After a few rings, she hears, "Hey, hon, what's up?"
Lucky guess. "Um, hi, Donna? This is actually Ronna, from the campaign."
"Oh, hi, Ronna." Donna greets brightly. "What's up?"
"Well, um, this might sound a little strange, but... I'm kind of concerned about Josh?"
Donna tone immediately changes. "What's wrong?"
"I could be over analyzing this, everyone else seems to think so, but he seems off. I don't know, he's snapping at people more than usual. He's trailing off in the middle of his sentences. He's not making eye contact, and... He just went into his office and slammed the door. Maybe I'm reading too much into this, but-"
"No, you're not." Donna interrupts. She sounds like she's suddenly on the edge of her seat. "I'm glad you called me. He's having a panic attack."
Ronna's almost stunned that she actually guessed correctly. Everyone knew that Josh was a little off kilter, but she bets that most in Washington wouldn't guess this of him in a million years. "Okay." She has no idea where to go from here. The extent of her plan was pretty much just to call Donna.
"Was he possibly watching the news coverage of the bombing this morning?"
"Um, yeah, we all watched it. It's on in the office."
"Shit." Donna mutters. "I'm sorry. It's just... I was hoping he didn't. I should've called, but I knew if I asked him about it, he'd immediately find a TV, and..."
"I don't understand."
"They keep playing the video of the van, on fire."
"Yeah, but nobody was hurt."
"That's not what this is about." Donna says quietly. "Listen, could you take him the phone?"
"Of course." Ronna walks hesitantly to the door. She musters up the courage to knock, but when she does there's no answer. She goes in anyway. What she finds is really only the visual confirmation of what she'd known, but it jars her nonetheless. Josh is on the ground, back pressed against his desk, eyes closed and breathing labored. When he hears the door creak, his eyes snap open.
Ronna stutters. "I- Um- Your wife is on the phone."
He stares at her blankly, and the distant cloudiness of his eyes makes her heart sink.
She puts the phone back to her ear. "Um, he isn't saying anything. I don't think he can."
"Put me on speaker phone."
Ronna does as asked. "Okay. You're on speaker."
Donna's tone changes again, to one of tenderness and concern. "Hey, Josh? It's me."
His eyes regain some of their clarity.
"Ronna called me, apparently you're freaking her out. She's one of the good ones, okay, so don't scare her off. Anyway, I heard you were watching the Birmingham coverage this morning."
He closes his eyes again.
"I was really hoping you wouldn't, but I guess that was a pipe dream, huh? Anyway. I just thought I should remind you that I'm fine," she says soothingly. "I made it, okay? I woke up. I woke up, and everything was okay. I mean not all the way okay, but you know. We stayed in that horrible twin bed for almost a week. My mother had to buy you new clothes because you didn't pack any, and because you wouldn't leave the room, remember? And the shirt was way too big, because for some reason people always seem to overestimate your size. Probably because of the personality," she jokes.
Ronna has no idea what's going on. But based on the way Josh is staring intently at the phone in her hand, breathing slowly evening out, it's working.
"And then we went home. And we saw the kids. And then Noah started Kindergarten, and it was a whole ordeal, and then I was on crutches and you worried too much, and... You remember. You were there. So just... I'm fine, okay? Just breathe and remember that we made it."
There's a pause, and then she says, "Ready to talk yet?"
He surprises both of them by saying, "No."
Donna laughs. "Okay. You want me to keep talking?"
He nods.
"He's nodding," Ronna supplies.
"Okay. Well, before I do that, make sure your back is against a flat surface, okay?" Ronna swears he smiles the slightest bit. "We good? Okay. So. Today I was about to do the briefing, right, when I get a call from Principal Evans, because apparently they've got a lice outbreak again. I've since checked back, Noah's clean, no worries, but I was so freaked out about it that I said 'polar lice caps' during the briefing instead of ice caps, and of course Toby has not let me hear the end of it..."
Ronna bends down and sets the phone on the floor, sliding it toward him. He mouths 'thank you,' as she retreats, smiling to herself.
An hour or so later, Josh finds her in the office. He pulls her aside and glances around wearily. "So, about earlier..."
She squares her shoulders. "I'm sorry if I overstepped."
He furrows his brow. "What?"
"Were you not going to say that?"
"No." He says dismissively. "I was going to tell you that I have PTSD."
Ronna's eyes widen. She tries to find an appropriate response to this declaration. "You do?"
"Yeah. That's what that was."
"From..." She trails off, remembering suddenly why Josh Lyman had such name recognition to her, even when she was just getting into politics.
"From when I was shot." He completes. "Right. Now, I used to just have triggers pertaining to that, but since my wife was injured in Gaza, there's a whole slew of others relating to that, and, well. Burning vans is apparently, definitely one of them."
She continues to look confused. "Gaza?"
"Yeah, you remember the CODEL that was bombed?" He doesn't quite look at her. "Yeah, well..."
"Oh my god!" She gapes at him. "That was your wife?"
He shifts uncomfortably. "Yeah."
"I'm sorry." She says. "I just didn't know. That's... Wow."
"I guess."
"It's just that, the shooting, the bombing... You and your wife have had a pretty rough deal, huh?"
"I wouldn't say so." He shrugs, and gives her half a smile. "We're both still alive, so I'd say we're pretty lucky." He takes a few steps away to knock on a wooden desk before returning.
Ronna can't help but smile a little, too. "I guess so."
"I'm telling you this because, well, it was pointed out to me..." He runs a hand through his hair. "It's kind of a liability that no one on the campaign knows about my... Whatever."
"I'll assume it was Donna who pointed this out to you?"
"Yeah." He looks off to the side. "Anyway, we figured you, because... Well, obviously."
"Obviously." She echoes. She supposes she'd brought the responsibility on herself, but she doesn't mind it. "So, if you have an attack-"
"I generally call them episodes, but, you really shouldn't worry about it. It's just a precaution. I barely ever have them."
She gives him a dubious look. "You just had one."
"Point taken."
"So, if you do have one..." She continues. "What should I do? Is there someone I can call?"
"Do exactly what you did. Call my wife."
"I meant like, a therapist."
"Oh. Well, yeah, but I like my wife so much better than him."
"You like your wife better than everyone."
"Hey, I also have some children. They're pretty okay too." She gives him a pointed look, and he relents with a sigh. "Alright, I'll have Donna send you his information..."
We can't really be sad if we're both sad in the same place, right?
Josh watches her across the room, stood with his mother and a circle of others. They're all listening intently as Ruth tells the story of how Leo got Josh into politics for what is possibly the fifth time that night, and Donna is nodding along, looking as engaged as she did the first time she heard it. Ruth has one hand on her arm to keep her there, and the other on Noah's shoulder. Donna holds Elise on one hip, their daughter's face buried in her shoulder. It's getting late for her, and she's tired. At least she's passed the point of fussing and is now just attempting to catch sleep wherever she can.
He would be with them if it weren't for another in long line of endless assholes intent on dragging him away from the reception to talk about their pick for the VP spot. He isn't sure how it is that this city seems to contain so many less-than-human beings who don't understand what an appropriate grieving period is. They didn't have to wait that long. They just had to wait until his fucking funeral was over, but they can't seem to manage even that.
Donna's eyes cast around the room, in that way that he knows she's looking for him. She finds him and sends him a look of sympathy. She holds up one finger on the hand that's supporting their daughter's head, and then turns back to the conversation to find a way to extricate herself.
As she works her way back toward him, looking stunning and sad in her black dress, he finds himself thinking about Leo. He remembers how he and Jenny had grown irreparably apart while Leo was in the job Josh just inherited.
Josh loves and admires Leo, possibly to a fault. But that's one regard in which he hopes to never follow in his footsteps.
"Hey." Donna greets.
"Hey." He rests his hand on the small of her back. "She's entertaining the masses?" He asks, referring to his mother.
"Always." She says. "How'd that last meeting go?"
"I hate everyone."
Unable to use her arms, she leans into him consolingly. "Yeah. I know."
Apparently roused by his voice, Elise raises her head from her mother's shoulder. "Da!"
He smiles. "Hey, 'Lise. Tired?"
She nods, and holds out her hands for him. Donna happily passes her over, exhausted from carrying the three year old for nearly half an hour.
Josh pushes his daughters curls out of her face before allowing her to bury her head in his shoulder. "Maybe we should take them home."
Donna furrows her brow. "I thought the President invited us to the residence after this."
"He did, but... They're tired."
"Ruth can take them back to the house." She suggests. She knows how much it'll help him to be around old friends again.
He nods. "Yeah. Okay."
She continues to watch him, mild concern etched into her face. Hands now free, she wraps one arm around his waist. "You doing okay?"
He finds that he's actually being truthful when he says, "Yeah. I am."
"You sure?"
He sends her a sad smile. "Yeah. I've got you."
Notes:
something else i’m realizing as i reread my old fics is that my old author’s notes used to be so….formal??
i promise i am approachable. befriend me pls i love y’all.
okay hope you enjoyed this little thing, catch you soon!!
Chapter 4
Notes:
Here’s another little piece of this. Hope you’re enjoying so far :))
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Josh walks down the hallway of his son's preschool, looking at the hanging artwork as he passes by. He smiles when he sees one with Noah scrawled in huge script, the h backwards, in one corner. He would've recognized the style anyway, as he has at least five similar works of art in his office and dozens more on the fridge at home. This one appears to be a Picasso-esque self portrait.
He turns in to the second classroom on the left, and an array of little faces looks up at him expectantly, each wondering if it's their parent come to pick them up. Noah's face lights up and he springs up from his seat on the carpet, stumbling over his classmates to get to the door. He flings himself upward, having learned by now that his dad will catch him.
"Dad!"
"Hey, kid." Josh spins him around once and then holds him to him at eye level. "How was your day?"
"Good! I did a picture, and we read a book, and I knew the word oh-ca-casionally when nobody else knowed it, and-"
"You can tell me all about it. I think you should probably get your backpack and say bye to your teacher first though, okay, bud?"
"Kay!" He happily slides down to the floor and bounds over to his cubby.
Gingerly, Josh steps around the hoard of babbling three year olds to get to Noah's teacher, who is just bidding goodbye to a little girl and her mother. She bends down to pick up a marker and gives Josh a smile as she straightens up. "Hey, Josh."
"Hey, Suzie. How was the day?"
"Good, good. Only five full-scale meltdowns today."
"In a class of eighteen? That's a miracle."
"Tell me about it. None of them were Noah, by the way."
"Hey, that's good."
"How's Donna?"
"She's doing great." Josh smiles indulgently.
"Getting big?"
"Not really. She's showing, but she's only five months, so not too much."
"Noah is so excited. All he talks about is being a big brother."
"Yeah." Josh shakes his head, grinning. "We'll see how long that lasts once the baby's actually here. He's not used to sharing us."
"He'll get used to it."
"He'll probably also be a little bummed when he realizes that he can't play with her immediately."
"Yeah. You'll have to watch out for him trying to throw her like a football."
Josh laughs. "Duly noted."
Suzie's face takes on a sour expression as a trio of people enters the classroom. Josh turns around and his smiles fades immediately, too. Congressman Lewis, a freshman from Illinois, is here to pick up his daughter Anna again. The other two people with him are an aid and a photographer.
"I hate that guy." Suzie mutters.
"Tell me about it." Josh looks around for Noah, hoping he's ready to leave. He sees him talking to another little boy, backpack on. "Noah," he calls out. His son looks up and trots over obediently. Josh picks him up, hoping that having the toddler in his arms will 1) repel political conversation, and 2) help him make a quick escape, as he won't have to wait for Noah's little Velcro light-up shoes to make it down the hallway.
"He picks his kid up twice a month, and every time he has to make it into a publicity stunt."
"And an opportunity for political negotiation." Josh adds.
"Right. You'd better get out before he corners you."
"That's the plan."
Josh heads for the door, hoping Congressman Lewis will be so distracted by trying to get the perfect shot of him greeting Anna that he won't notice Josh slip past.
Every time the guy comes to pick up his daughter, he seems to view the fact that he and Josh have kids at the same school as a singular opportunity to talk politics and get an inside "edge" on the White House's legislative agenda. Josh, on the other hand, views the thirty minutes in between when he picks Noah up from preschool and when he drops him off at daycare to be a scared time, in which he focuses all his energy on his son before he has to leave him for work for another few hours. He doesn't want political discussions to eat into that time, and especially not with a cosmetic hack like Bryce Lewis.
"Josh!" Bryce turns around with his off putting, perfect smile. In his tailored suit, he looks practically airbrushed.
Josh winces. "Oh, hey, Congressman."
"Picking up the kid, huh?"
"Um, yeah." Obviously.
"Nothing better." Bryce says, ruffling his daughter's perfectly curled hair. Josh squints. Did they put makeup on their three year old? He holds Noah a little tighter.
"Right. Well, I'd better get going, so-"
"Actually, I was wondering if I could talk to you for a minute about my amendment to the renewable energy bill?"
Josh sighs. "I don't know, Congressman, I-"
"C'mon. It'll only take a minute." He gives him that stupid Trident-advertisement smile. He rests one hand on his daughter's head again. "It's for their future, after all."
Josh isn't sure why, but the way he's politically exploiting his child even when there's barely anyone around gets under his skin like nothing else. He stands up a little straighter. "Listen, Congressman. Other than in the mornings and sometimes at night - which isn't often enough, because late nights are a given in my job - this is the one time on weekdays that I actually get to see my son. I'm not interested in wasting any of it on political negotiations, okay? You can talk to me during regular business hours, like anyone else."
Bryce gives him an affronted look. "I just figured, with what we have in common-"
"And another thing. Don't use your kid, and especially not my kid, to try and get ahead with me. I can assure you it's not going to work."
"Josh, I have to say, I think you're over-"
"I have to go, Congressman. You can call my office." With that, he turns and walks out, leaving Lewis and his entourage dumbfounded in the classroom. He sets Noah down in the hallway, remembering how Donna is always telling him that he shouldn't carry him everywhere, as it'll cause a dependency.
Noah reaches up to take his hand, and looks at his father with wide eyes. "You not like Anna's dad?"
Josh smiles slightly. "I don't like it when he tries to take away my time with you, that's all. You want to go get some ice cream or something?"
"Yes!"
The following Friday, Donna is cleaning up the remnants of she and Noah's dinner while Noah plays in the doorway to the living room with some of his toy trains. She hadn't bothered cooking much, instead opting for sandwiches and apple slices because it was just the two of them. Josh won't be home until later.
"Mama?" Noah pipes up from the doorway, gaze still fixated on his trains.
"Uh huh?" She hardly looks up from the dishes.
"What's an ack-i-dent?"
"An accident?"
"Yeah."
"Well." One thing she hadn't anticipated in parenting was how often she had to define words she'd never thought twice about. "It's something that wasn't supposed to happen. Like when you spill juice, you know?"
"Not supposta happen?"
"Yeah."
"You don't want accidents to happen?"
"Not really, no."
"They bad?"
"Most of the time." Donna says absently. She finishes the dishes and starts to dry her hands on a towel, when she notices that Noah has fallen oddly quiet. She turns around to see him standing in the doorway, arms limp at his sides and shoulders hunched miserably. Tears are pooling in his eyes and he's biting his lip in a way that she knows precurses a sob. She immediately rushes to him and drops to her knees, grabbing his shoulders. "Oh, baby, what's wrong?"
He flings himself into her arms and lets loose the sob she'd known was coming. As he cries wretchedly, she sinks fully onto the floor, pulling him onto her lap and holding him tightly. She rocks him gently, waiting for him to be able to speak.
"Shh, it's okay. It's okay. You're not hurt, are you?" He hadn't slipped on a train when she wasn't looking? She doesn't think so, because she would've heard him cry out. This seems to be more emotional than physical pain.
"Anna - said - I - was - an - ac - cident." Noah manages between sobs. "Which means - you - don't - want - me!"
Donna is overwhelmed with shock. "Anna... Lewis?" That's the only Anna she can think of that Noah knows.
"Yes!" He manages a few deep breaths. "She said her dad said I was an accident!"
The shock she'd felt slowly transforms into hot, molten rage. She tries to keep it together for Noah's sake, holding him close to her and running one hand over his head. "Oh, hon."
"And accidents are bad." He says wretchedly, his tears starting afresh.
"Noah, listen to me. You're not an accident."
"But Anna said-"
"I don't care what Anna said, or her dad for that matter. I'm you're mom, okay? And there's nothing in the world that your dad and I wanted more than you."
He gives her a skeptical look through his watery eyes. "Really?"
"Really. We love you more than anything, you know that. More than all the stars in the sky. You're perfect, and we wouldn't want you any other way. You're certainly nothing bad, okay?"
"Promise?"
"Promise." She smiles as he offers one pinky and she clasps it firmly with her own.
"And I was supposda happen?"
"You were written in the stars, babe. You were a gift in every way imaginable."
"Dad think so too?"
"He most certainly does."
"I stay up and ask him?"
Usually she wouldn't let him stay up that late, but she decides tonight is worth the exception. "Okay."
He sniffles. "Okay."
She sighs, kissing the top of his curls. She breathes in the smell of little kid shampoo and something else, something unmistakably her son, and can't imagine what life would be like without him.
When Josh gets home around nine, he tries to be quiet, assuming Noah is asleep. He's surprised when he treads into the living room to find his wife and son curled up on the couch, some Winnie the Pooh video playing on the TV, his son subdued and curled against his mother. Several things about this scene strike him as odd. One, Noah usually isn't allowed to stay up this late. Two, if he is up when Josh gets home, he usually races to the door to attack his father as if he hadn't just seen him hours ago. After that, he'll bounce off the walls, especially if he's been allowed to stay up past his bed time. Three, Noah had outgrown Pooh bear almost a year ago, in favor of the obviously more mature Thomas the Tank Engine.
"Hey," Josh greets carefully. "What's going on here?"
Noah smiles softly and takes his time climbing over his mother to get to his dad. He reaches the end of the couch and lifts his arms up. Josh picks him up, immediately pressing a kiss to his forehead. He's not warm. "You sick, kid?"
Noah shakes his head. Over his shoulder, Josh sees Donna stand up and fold her arms. She turns off the TV and watches them, and by her expression he can tell she's upset.
"Then what's wrong? Why are you up?"
"Dad, am I an accident?"
Josh furrows his brow. He casts a panicked look at Donna, in much the same way he had when Noah had asked them a few months ago how babies were made. "Of course you're not, kid. You're the farthest thing from it."
Noah pops his thumb in his mouth, which is something else he hasn't done in a while. "Okay," he lisps around it.
"Alright." Donna announces. "I said you could stay up until Dad got home, that was the deal. He's home, so it's off to bed. Who do you want to take you?" She approaches them and smooths one hand over her son's hair.
The question isn't one of favoritism, but one of a constantly changing preference. He usually asks for whoever he hasn't seen the most that day, or who he thinks will have the best story for him. They've learned not to be offended by his answer, though sometimes one or the other will gloat if they've been chosen multiple nights in a row.
Noah turns around to look at her with wide eyes. "You both come?"
Donna glances at Josh, who still looks completely baffled by the situation, but nods. She smiles. "Of course. C'mon, monkey."
When he finally falls asleep half an hour later, they carefully extract themselves from his bed. Three people in one twin bed isn't a great recipe for comfort, and they both find themselves stretching painfully as they make their way to the kitchen. As soon as they're out of earshot, Josh bursts out, "Okay, what's going on?" Having to keep the question to himself for so long has been killing him.
She gives him a look of profound sadness, and something else. He realizes suddenly that she's angry. Furious, actually. "Something happened at school today."
"At school? He left school hours ago." He's been upset for this long? It must've been something pretty bad, as his toddler usually has the same memory capacity as Gail the goldfish.
"He wasn't upset until a few hours ago. After dinner, he asked me what an accident was."
"Oh no." Josh is starting to put two and two together.
"And I told him it was something that wasn't supposed to happen. I told him it was something bad. I told him-" her eyes fill with tears and her hands start to shake as she attempts to fill a glass with water. "I shouldn't have said-"
"Hey, it's okay." Josh eases the glass out of her hand and pulls her into his arms. "It's okay. You didn't know what he was talking about."
"But I should've guessed-"
"No, c'mon. It's not your fault." He runs one hand comfortingly over her back. Meanwhile, his jaw tightens in anger. "Who called him an accident?"
"That Anna girl. Congressman Lewis's daughter. She said her dad said it."
Josh's stomach drops. He sees red. In that moment, he gets the closest he's ever been to wanting to kill another person. "Shit."
"I'm sure she didn't know what it meant, but Lewis-"
"He's a fucking asshole." Josh agrees. "I already knew that much, but this? I never thought he'd shit talk a three year old. And where his own kid can hear him? Jesus Christ..."
"I knew he'd hear it someday, I just didn't think it would be while he was still so little." Donna laments.
"I'm going to kill him."
"Josh."
"I'm going to drag his body through DuPont circle."
That elicits a slight smile from her. "Josh, you can't do anything."
"Like hell I can't."
"I mean you can't do anything that dramatic."
"Fine. I'll let him live. His extremities, though? Fair game."
"Let's put snakes in his car." Donna suggests.
"Taking a page out of Leo's handbook. I like it. Let's try some of his military tactics."
"Well, we can't do anything tonight."
"What do you mean?"
"What are you going to do, storm over there?"
"I was seriously considering it."
"Josh."
"I mean, who does that? He can talk about me all he wants, hell, I'm flattered he cares about me that much, but my kid..."
"He's three. He's three years old. Does he understand what it's like for a three year old to feel unwanted?"
"Hey, he's not all that great with his daughter, so..."
"She's a cute kid."
"Yeah."
"I hate how he trots her out for political gain all the time. He should just let her be a kid."
"I think he put makeup on her for their last photo op."
Donna winces. "If anyone ever goes near our daughter with makeup before she's, like, ten years old-"
"Snakes in their car."
Her expression softens. "I love you."
"I love you too. And, hey, I'm sorry you had to deal with that tonight."
She shakes her head. "It's okay. What are moms for?"
"I guess." He grabs her hand and intertwines their fingers. "So, what do you want to do the rest of the night? Aside from plan our vengeance."
She bites her lip. "How much would you hate me if I said I wanted to finish this episode?"
Congressman Bryce Lewis is in the middle of a meeting with an important Senator who he'd been trying to get in touch with all week when Josh Lyman storms into his office unannounced. His assistant trots in after him, flustered.
"I'm so sorry, Congressman, he wouldn't wait, he just-"
Bryce raises a hand, knowing all too well the force of nature that is Josh Lyman. "That's okay, Jenny. Thank you."
Jenny meekly bows out of the room, at which point Josh explodes, "What the hell do you think you're playing at?"
Bryce raises his eyebrows. His cool smile clicks into place reflexively. "Josh. Good of you to stop by. I hope you're here to discuss my amendment to the renewable energy bill, that's what Senator Jacobs and I were just discussing-"
"No I'm not here for your amendment, you asshole." Josh says scathingly.
The smile falters. "Josh, I-"
"You called my son an accident."
Bryce's mouth falls open. How could he possibly know something Bryce had said in the privacy of his own home, to his wife? "What? That's, that's absurd-"
"You called my son an accident, your daughter heard you, and suddenly my wife's dealing with a sobbing three year old who thinks that we don't want him." Josh breathes raggedly, and for a minute Bryce fears the man may actually hit him. The White House deputy chief of staff may be a couple inches shorter than himself, but the look in his eyes tells Bryce that he'd likely still pose a significant threat to his well being.
When Bryce finally regains the ability to speak, he says in a tremulous voice, "Senator Jacobs, could you give us a minute?"
Senator Jacobs gets up heavily from his chair with a huff of air. He glowers at Bryce disdainfully as he makes his way out of the office. He stops beside Josh and mutters, "He called Noah an accident?"
Josh glances at the Senator, momentarily distracted from the target of his rage, and nods.
Senator Jacobs shakes his head. It doesn't matter how many times he's battled Josh on amendments, on endorsements or on agendas, no matter how many times he's called him obnoxious or a crazed upstart, in that moment he puts his hand on Josh's shoulder and says, "You get him."
Before he closes the door, they hear him mutter, "Just lost my vote."
Bryce colors. "Josh, let me explain-"
"Explain what? You made my son cry. You made my wife cry. Being politically ruthless is one thing, but that's just inhuman."
To his credit, Bryce does look genuinely guilty. "I'm sorry. Really, I had no idea Anna could hear me. I was just talking to my wife-"
"About my family?"
Bryce nods sheepishly. "It was after you'd refused to negotiate with me, at the school, and I'll admit I was still angry about it."
"So you took it out on my kid?"
"You have to believe me when I say that I never meant for it to get back to him. I'd never hurt a child."
"Oh my god!" Josh cries incredulously. "When will you stop trotting out your kids whenever it's convenient?"
Bryce looks confused. "My kids? I wouldn't-"
"Please don't deny it."
In that moment, Bryce's cowed expression morphs into something more sinister and petty. In him, Josh can see the faces of countless high school bullies. "At least my kids weren't actually accidents." Josh's mouth drops open. "Everyone knows about Noah, Josh, everyone knows you only married that girl because you knocked her up, it's not like I'm the first one to say-"
"That girl is my wife." Josh interrupts through gritted teeth. "You petty, conniving, low-life, spineless, son-of-bitch-"
"Keep your voice down."
"I'll keep my voice wherever the hell I want!" Josh shouts, breathing deeply. For a moment, his anger fades, and he just looks sad. "You think I don't know what people say about us? You think I'm not aware of how my son came into the world? You think I don't think every day about the fact that some day he's going to know too, and we're not going to be able to explain it away?"
Bryce looks borderline guilty again. "Josh, I'm..."
"At least I actually care about my kid, even if he wasn't planned. Hell, at least I didn't have my kid for the sole purpose of better photo ops." The fire is back. "At least I interact with him outside of publicity stunts. And, you know what? We may have eloped, but at least my wife and I have better things to talk about than other people's kids."
Bryce glares at him reproachfully. "How dare you-"
"You're done with us." Josh interrupts coolly. "You're done with the Bartlet administration. Don't ever expect our support in the house, and don't expect to be included in our strategy. Hell, say goodbye to more than half your funding."
Bryce opens and closes his mouth like a fish. "You can't be serious."
"And another thing. Don't expect our support when you're seeking reelection two years from now. In fact, you can expect exactly the opposite." With that, Josh stalks out of the office, startling Jenny in much the same way that he had when he came in.
At the close of the second senior staff meeting of the day, Leo recalls a strange phone call he'd gotten that morning and decides to bring it up. "Hey, can anyone explain to me why Congressman Bryce Lewis's chief of staff called demanding to know why we cut off his support?"
"What?"
"Which one is he?"
"Is he the new guy?"
"Okay, you're all being supremely unhelpful."
Josh shifts uncomfortably. He's grateful Donna isn't in the meeting this morning - it's Saturday, and they've planned for her to spend the morning with Noah while he takes the afternoon with him. "I can."
Leo turns to stare at him, a look of impending doom on his face. "Oh god. What'd you do, kid?"
Josh stares at his shoes, one of which he scuffs the presidential seal with. "I may have... You know... Told him we were cutting off his support."
"You did what?"
"Why?"
"What could possess you to do that?"
"Well, um." Jos looks sheepishly up at the President, who'd been the last to speak. "You guys remember how I told you that his kid and my kid go to the same school?"
"Oh, God." CJ groans. "I hate where this is going."
"Josh." The president starts in a firm tone. "If you've made a professional decision based on personal reasons-"
"He called Noah an accident." Josh blurts. All of his coworkers look at him in surprise. "He, he called Noah an accident, his daughter heard, she called him an accident to his face. He couldn't stop crying, guys. He was... He was so upset." He begs them to understand.
He's greeted with a rousing chorus of the exact opposite of understanding from CJ, Will, and Toby.
"I can't believe you! We all love Noah, but-"
"Couldn't you just put snakes in his car or something?"
"Exactly! That's not a reason I can give the press, idiot boy!"
"You have to apologize, send him something to let him know-"
"Quiet, please." The President interrupts, holding up one hand. Very calmly, he says, "Congressman Lewis no longer has the support of the White House. That's that."
Three of his staffers gape at him. "Sir, you can't possibly mean..."
"That I'm supporting Josh's decision on this? Yes, actually, I can."
"I agree." Leo says, further surprising them.
"I've questioned some of Josh's tactics in the past." The President continues. "The whole dead fish thing? A little too mob-boss for my taste. The remote prayer amendment? Insanity. Hell, his bit on Capitol Beat was nearly a fireable offense." Josh smiles at the memory. "But on this? I stand with him one hundred percent."
CJ is the first one to speak. "Sir, I can't say that I understand why."
The President nods. "I wouldn't expect you to. None of you have children."
Fifteen years later
It's almost ten o'clock when Donna arrives home. She pulls off her sparkling heels in the entryway (she'll take them to the closet later) and goes in search of her children before she goes to take off her evening gown.
"Mom, hey." Elise greets from the kitchen island, a slice of pizza in hand.
"Secondborn! Firstborn!" Donna greets enthusiastically. She drops a kiss on top of her eighteen year old son's head where he sits at the kitchen counter, studying, and swings into the kitchen to put an arm around her daughter's shoulders. "I've missed you."
"You look great." Elise says appraisingly. "How was the gala?"
Donna groans. "Long."
"Where's dad? I thought you guys went together." Noah asks, looking up from his calculus homework.
Donna smiles wryly. "We went together, sure, but we didn't come back together."
"Why?"
"Huge blowout fight, he's sleeping at the office. I'll have the divorce paperwork drawn up in the morning."
"Ha, ha." Noah says with a begrudging smile. "Seriously."
"Oh, you know your dad. He and Sam have some sort of harebrained scheme for the vote tomorrow that involves a late night planning session. He should be back in an hour or so, but might have to go back around one."
"Think he'll manage to get your vote?"
She snorts. "Not unless he can get the land-use rider off the bill, no."
"Stay strong."
"I will." Donna sighs contentedly, glad to be back at home with her family. Having to wear her political face all day had been taxing. She turns her attention to her teenage daughter, currently munching on pizza crust. "How was practice?"
"It was good."
"You're ready for next week's game?"
"Yeah, I think so."
"Your dad will be pleased to hear that."
Elise rolls her eyes. "He's frankly way too invested in this game."
"Yeah, there's no way I'm sitting with him." Donna looks down at her daughter's grass stained softball workout uniform. "Hon, practice ended, what, five hours ago?"
"Yeah, why?"
"Don't you think you should change?"
Elise groans in the way that only a fourteen year old girl can. "Mom, I'm getting to it."
"Could you also maybe get to a shower?"
Elise gives her a reproachful look as she picks up another slice of pizza. "Fine."
Donna turns her attention to her son. "How was your day?"
"Good, good." Noah says breezily, without quite making eye contact. "I was pretty much the only kid in Bio today, but, you know..."
"Proud of you for beating the senioritis." She says fondly. "And, you picked up your siblings?"
"Elise is standing right there, isn't she?"
"And your brothers?"
"In bed."
"Hm. How do I know you didn't leave them?"
"Who do you think ate the first two pizzas?"
"Fair enough. You were okay getting dinner for yourselves?"
"Yeah. I hope you don't mind, Elise and I were pretty tired, didn't feel much like shopping and cooking..."
Donna shakes her head. She's ordered pizza for the kids for the exact same reason more than a few times. She reaches over the counter to ruffle his hair fondly, making him squirm. "You're such a good homemaker."
He rolls his eyes. "Thanks, mom."
"You want me to pay you for gas?"
"Yes, please."
"How much?"
"Twelve hundred dollars."
"I'll put sixty on your card." She says easily. She turns around to start a pot of coffee.
"Coffee, this late?"
"Not for you. Or for me. It's for Ned and Julio."
Noah nods. He feels for the Secret Service agents who have to take the night shift. "Okay."
With her back turned to them, Elise slips over to her brother and leans in conspiratorially. "Aren't you going to tell her?"
Noah's face darkens. "I'm getting to it, okay?"
"Tell me what?" Donna calls brightly. Both of her teens wince. Eighteen years of motherhood have truly trained her to hear like a bat. She flips the coffee pot on and turns to her children with an expectant look on her face.
Elise looks between them with an awkward expression. "I'll leave you two to it."
Donna furrows her brow as her only daughter scurries out of the kitchen, and she hears her bedroom door close. She refocuses her attention on her son. She notices that there's something off about him. He refuses to meet her eyes. "Noah, honey, what's wrong?"
He sighs. He scrubs one hand through his curly hair, which he'd buzzed short on the sides in keeping with the day's fashion. He braces his arms on either side of his calculus textbook and looks up at her balefully. "I got some news today, mom."
"Okay." She tries to keep the worry out of her voice.
"The Ivys released their decisions at five."
"They... Oh." She understands suddenly. "Oh, Noah, it's okay."
"Mom, it's not." He says firmly. "I didn't get into any of them."
"Oh, hon." She reaches out to put a hand on his arm. "I'm so sorry."
"Not Harvard, not Princeton, not Yale where I'm a doublelegacy student with an ex-professor grandfather..." She rarely sees him cry anymore, but she can hear his voice breaking.
"Noah." She says gently. "Come sit with me."
He nods miserably and follows her to the kitchen table. Once there, she folds her hands in her lap and looks at her tortured son with profound sympathy. "Noah. I'm so sorry you're disappointed."
"It's not just that, it's..."
"Those universities are missing out on one hell of a kid, believe me." She tells him firmly. "But, I have to be honest... Noah, I know you don't want to go to an Ivy."
Noah looks up at her with wide eyes. "But - but you want me to!"
Donna furrows her brow. "When have I ever said that?"
"Well, not explicitly, but you've always said that I'd be able to get in if I put my mind to it, and-"
"Noah, I don't care where you go to college. I just want you to be happy. And you got into a school that I know will make you happy, and that's all that matters to me."
Noah nods. He'd already been looking into housing arrangements at UVA, which he'd applied early action to. Softly, he says, "Dad cares."
Donna furrows her brow. "No he doesn't."
Noah looks away. "Mom, he does. He's going to be disappointed."
"No, he's not." She says forcefully. "Noah, look at me. Just like me, the only thing your dad cares about is your happiness."
Noah bites his lip. "Mom, he's wanted me to go to Harvard or Yale since I was two."
"Since before you were born, actually." Donna corrects. He looks up at her in surprise. "But that's just because he wants to share things with you. It has nothing to do with the reputation of the school you go to. He doesn't measure your worth by where you get into college, you know that."
Noah looks down again. "But, mom, he did it. He got in. Hell, he was a Fulbright. And he talks about it like it was the easiest thing in the world. I just don't stack up, and I've let him down, and-"
"Noah." She interrupts again before he can work himself up too much. "Noah, you are not your dad."
"I know that, but-"
"What I mean to say is, I don't expect you to follow the same path as him, and neither does he. You have different strengths, and that's okay."
He may look like his dad, aside from being slightly taller and lankier, but they're by no stretch identical in terms of personality. They may share a few things, such as humor, intelligence, and mild neuroses (which he may have inherited from his mother, too), but they differ in many significant ways. Noah is much more laid back than his father, and had inherited his mother's passion for small things and for people. He's more like Donna in that he hasn't found what he wants to do yet, and has been operating as a jack-of-all trades for many years now.
"First of all, your dad may talk about it like it was easy, but he worked his ass off to get into those schools, and to succeed while he was there. You know how dedicated he is, you shouldn't buy for a minute that he just skated by on talent. And, Noah, you're not like that."
Noah looks crushed.
She presses on hurriedly. "What I mean to say is, you work hard, but it's not all about one thing for you. You work hard at school, but you also work hard at taking care of your siblings. You've held down a paying job for two years now. You work hard at maintaining friendships, at peer mentoring, at band practice..." She's still in awe that she'd managed to raise such a functional, well-rounded young man.
"Mom, stop." He mutters.
"I'm serious. You're not as one-track or as obsessive as your dad, and that's in no way a bad thing. Before I came along, and you came along, he used to work himself so hard that he was miserable. Hell, you've seen him do it a few times since then."
"Yeah." Noah admits.
"Also, you haven't decided what you want to do yet. You don't have a focus for all that intelligence of yours." She taps her temple. "And that's okay too. I didn't know what I wanted to do until I was twenty-two."
Noah nods begrudgingly. "I've heard the story, mom. You tell it at campaign rallies."
She smiles softly. "Noah, I never graduated college. I dropped out for a guy I didn't love, and I never went back. When I was there, I bounced from major to major. But you know what? I made it. I did okay."
"You did more than okay, mom."
"Thanks, kid. Now I'm not suggesting you do anything that extreme, but..."
He smirks. "I get it."
She takes his hand. "I love you, kid."
He looks down, embarrassed. "I know, mom."
"And so does your dad. You're his first son, you're his best friend. You changed his life, Noah, and he loves you to no end. You know that, right?"
"Yeah. Yeah, I do." Of the many strange qualities his parents possessed, he'd never had to doubt their love for him.
She grins. "Remember when he ended that guy's political career because he called you an accident?"
Noah grins too. "I was an accident, mom."
"Well, sure. But you were the happiest accident in the world."
He shakes his head, amused. "Thanks."
"I'm so proud of you." She leans forward to kiss his forehead, and he doesn't flinch away. "So, so proud."
She loves all of her children equally, of course, but her bond with each of them is unique. Hers with Noah is special because he was her first. He had been her constant companion for many years while he grew up, and as she can now see, she grew up too. In the first few years that she adjusted to life in a city that at times could be cruel and indifferent, she always had her little bundle of joy to comfort her and put things in perspective. He may have been a surprise, but he was the best surprise she'd ever gotten. To this day, she considers him one of her best friends in addition to being her son.
"Mom, please don't cry."
She wipes her eyes hastily. "Sorry."
Josh gets home around eleven, true to his word. He swings into the kitchen, where he finds his wife, daughter, and oldest son all still up. He stops at the counter to pat Noah on the shoulder on his way past, "Doing homework? It's March, kid. You really need to learn to embrace the senioritis."
Noah gives him a weak smile. "I'm trying."
He greets Elise with a kiss on top of her hair, but immediately draws back. "God, kid, you need a shower."
Elise throws up her hands, causing Donna to dissolve into laughter. "All I get in this household is harassment!"
"How was practice?" Josh asks with a gleam in his eyes.
"It was good." She says primly.
"Ready for the big game?"
She gives her dad an exasperated smile. "I swear to god, girls' high school softball in the greater DC area is the most competitive sport in America now, and it's all thanks to two screwy Jewish political operatives."
"Elise, listen to me. Molly Ziegler is a nice kid, but I mean it when I say that I fully expect you to destroy her."
Elise chuckles. "Can't you and Uncle Toby just fight each other like real men instead of hiding behind your daughters?"
"Nope." He says jovially. "I've got a lot of money at stake here, kid, so don't blow it. Not to mention our family's honor as we know it."
"Nice parental support." Donna chimes in.
"Don't worry, dad. The team's in good shape. The Lyman name is safe."
"Proud of you."
"Whatever happened to 'just have fun'?" Donna teases.
Josh finally turns to greet his wife. "Hey, you look fantastic."
Donna rolls her eyes. She has yet to undress from the gala. "You saw me two hours ago."
"And you still look fantastic." He says, wrapping his arms around her waist.
"Blech. Can you get a room?" Elise asks.
"This is our room. Actually, all of these are our rooms. You just freeload."
Elise rolls her eyes. "I'm going to go take a shower."
"Praise be." Donna jokes.
"You have got to stop watching The Handmaid's Tale." Elise waves to her family. "Goodnight, everybody."
"Night." The three adults chorus.
Donna and Noah exchange a look once Elise has left, but Josh doesn't notice. "Where are thing one and thing two?"
"Asleep." Noah tells him.
"Uh huh." Josh scoffs. "Sure."
He walks out of the room to check the validity of this claim. In his absence, Donna gazes at her son. "Do you want me to tell him?"
"No." He shakes his head. "I'll do it."
"Okay." She offers him an encouraging smile. "Do you want me to stay?"
In a small voice, he says, "Yes, please."
Down the hall, Josh busts into the twins' room without knocking. Two guilty faces look up at him, one from a book and the other from an iPad. Finally, Leo says, "Dad. Hi."
"Hello, boys."
"I told you you were being too loud!" Eli calls reproachfully.
"You're the one that needed the light left on to read!"
"It would've been bright anyway, with your stupid game!"
"Candy crush isn't stupid, your book is stupid. You've read it twice already, what do you need to-"
"Hey, hey." Josh calls above the familiar bickering. His ten-year-olds look back up at him sheepishly. He shakes his, smiling, and goes to retrieve both the book and the iPad. He presses a kiss to each of their heads in turn. "Goodnight, boys."
"Goodnight, dad." They each wrap an arm around his neck as he comes by.
"I love you guys."
"Love you too." They chorus.
"Is mom back?" Eli asks.
"Yeah, she's back too. Do you want me to send her in?"
Eli looks like he's about to say yes, but Leo interrupts, "No! Tell her we were asleep." Eli's eyes widen in realization and he nods his accord.
Josh snorts. "Sure thing. Go to sleep." He flicks the light off and returns to the kitchen. He places the book and the iPad on the counter and gives Donna a smile. "They were 'sleeping'." He tells her, complete with air quotes.
She rolls her eyes. "Of course."
"Hey, pizza." He says happily, going to retrieve a slice from the box left on the counter. "Food at the gala thing was terrible. I mean, don't tell Annabeth, I know she organized it, but-"
"Dad." Noah interrupts, before he can go on for another five minutes about how he hates stuffy DC events. "I need to tell you something."
Josh straightens up, surprised at his son's serious tone. "Okay. What's up?"
Noah takes a deep breath. Subtly, his mother walks around the counter and places a hand on his shoulder. Josh gives her an inquisitive look, but she just shakes her head, waiting for Noah to tell him. "The, um, Ivys came out today."
"The decisions?" He asks.
"Yeah." Noah doesn't look at him.
"And?" Josh prompts.
"None of them." Noah rips off the band aid. "Dad, I'm sorry, I... I didn't get into any of them."
For a long while, Josh doesn't say anything. He tugs his bow tie loose and leans back against the kitchen island, contemplative.
Nervous, Noah keeps talking. "I know you had hoped I'd get in, and I tried, but, you know that my grades aren't exactly-"
He's cut off by Josh walking out of the kitchen and down the hall. He waves a hand. "I'll be back." He says vaguely.
Noah stares after him, increasingly agitated. Donna, on the other hand, smiles slightly. She knows what's going on.
"Mom?" Noah says in a panicked voice.
"It's okay." Donna says soothingly. "It's not what you think."
"I don't know what to think."
"That's okay, too."
Josh returns a minute later with a slightly dented orange and blue striped gift bag. He sets it on the counter in front of his son with a smile. "Open it."
Noah stares up at him curiously. Slowly, he pulls the gift bag onto his lap and pulls out a layer of tissue paper. There are several items inside, and as he pulls them out one by one onto the counter, he starts to tear up, maturity status be damned.
He pulls out a UVA coffee mug, a UVA bumper sticker, a UVA tshirt, a UVA baseball (because, of course), and finally, two shirts that say UVA Mom and UVA Dad on them.
"Those are actually for us. Unless, you know, you want them. It'd be a little weird, but..." Over top of Noah's head, Donna can't help but smile at her husband.
"You're such a dork." Noah chokes out, causing both of his parents to laugh.
"I appreciate that."
"How did you... How did you know?"
"Kid, I went on that tour with you last year. I saw the way you looked at that place. That's where you were going, there wasn't any question about it. I bought all of that that day."
"I hadn't even gotten in yet."
Josh waves a hand. "Irrelevant. Anyway, I was going to save this until decision day, you know, when it was official, but..."
"Thank you." Noah says, his face glowing in a smile. "Thanks, dad."
"Hey, it's nothing." Josh says seriously. "I want you to go where you want to go. Not where I went, or wherever has the most name recognition, or whatever. And I'll be proud of you no matter what. In fact, if you want me to, I will wear that shirt everywhere. To work, to sleep, to my grave."
"I'll wear mine on the campaign trail." Donna adds helpfully.
"Please don't do that."
"Ivy Leagues aren't all they're cracked up to be, anyway. Plus, they're so much harder to get into now than when I was a kid, because you've got all those online applications and everything. It doesn't matter."
"It matters a little."
"No, it doesn't. Look, your mom never even graduated college, and she's doing pretty okay, wouldn't you say?"
Noah likes that his mother and father seem to be on the same page with their arguments, without even talking to each other about it. "She was elected to Congress, dad."
"Yeah, so, not a total failure." He gives Donna a smile, and she sticks her tongue out at him. "I'm serious, kid. None of that matters to me. Not nearly as much as you being happy, and safe."
Noah smiles, his eyes threatening to spill tears again. "Thanks, dad."
"You're my son, and I'll always be proud of you."
"I know."
Noah stands up from his chair and walks around the counter to hug his dad. He's of course no longer at the age where Josh carried him everywhere, but he's glad to know his dad will always be there to make him feel safe and secure.
"Unless you register as Republican. Then all bets are off."
Notes:
thanks for reading!! every day we get closer to new content ;)
ps when this was originally posted someone commented that I should make Elise date one of the Ziegler twins….not saying it’s happening, but it’s definitely happening
Chapter 5
Notes:
Here comes another installment! This massive chapter might be in the running for fluffiest thing I’ve ever written. I originally posted this in two parts bc it’s hellaaaaa long lol, so be warned.
~Set around the time of Holy Night~
I hope y’all enjoy :))
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Despite a rough start, by mid-December, Will Bailey has gotten into the swing of things. Or at least, he's started to. He no longer cowers away from the Oval Office, his hazing has started to taper, and he's gaining confidence with the senior staffers. He's even started to get into a rhythm with Toby - or, more likely, he's just started to get used to him.
"I really think we should put that section closer to the end."
"I really think you should stick to comma placement."
See? They ooze rapport.
Lucky for Will, his favorite communications worker (and Toby's, by the look of things) swoops in to save him.
"Don't listen to him, Will. He'll end up taking your advice and pretend it was his idea in the first place." Donna gives him a conspiratorial grin.
"Donna! Don't give away trade secrets."
Donna shrugs. "Anyway. Can we work on getting rid of some of the mixed metaphors here?"
"I was trying to convey policy nuance."
"Well what you conveyed is mental infirmity." She tells him flatly.
Toby sighs and runs a hand over his forehead. "We're gonna be here for a while. Let's order some food."
"Chinese?"
"Whatever."
It's just the three of them in the Roosevelt room. They're likely to be holed up for the night, as they need to finish a big section of the address to send to the EPA for approval by tomorrow morning. Out of frustration, Toby had already dismissed the rest of the communications staff to research for them.
"I'll grab orders." Will volunteers. He'll also pay for it, and hopefully it will earn him some points with the rest of the communications staff. As he turns toward the door, he's almost startled out of his seat. He hadn't heard the door open, but standing in front of him, staring at him blankly, is a small child.
"Um... Is anyone else seeing this? Or should I be checking myself in somewhere?"
"What?" Toby asks absently.
"The toddler."
From the other side of the table, Donna perks up. "Noah?" She bends down and looks under the table without hesitation, and lets out an excited squeal. "Hey, monkey!"
Will watches in surprise as the toddler, having found a familiar face, grins broadly and runs under the table, giggling. Will jerks out of the way. The child emerges on the other side and Donna happily hoists him onto her lap.
"Hey, sweetie! You have a good nap?" The kid nods and babbles something.
Will knits his eyebrows. "You... Know this kid?" He curses himself for how ridiculous this question sounds.
Donna looks up at him in amusement. "This one? Oh, only a little. He's one of the regular escapees from the daycare center in the East Wing."
"Oh." Will gives a hesitant nod. "Okay."
Donna stares at him for a moment before laughing. "Will? He's my son."
"Oh. Right. Right, of course." Will nods more confidently this time.
"God, I wish the East Wing had a daycare center." Donna mutters.
Will supposes he shouldn't be so surprised that she's a mom. Maybe it's just that he's not used to most people in his line of work having time for a family. And though he likes Donna, he's only known her a couple weeks, and he hasn't thought much into her personal life. Beyond the first day he met her (when he noticed she was attractive, registered that she wore a wedding ring, and then moved on), he hasn't really dug any deeper.
He tries to fight down the heat in his face that had risen as a result of coming off like such a dope. He sees Toby give him an amused look out of the corner of his eye, and quickly tries to cover. "Um, what's his name?"
Donna gives her son a bounce, holding either side of his waist. "Hon, can you introduce yourself to Will?"
The toddler gives him a wary look and shrinks back into his mother. His hand comes up to his mouth reflexively. "I'm Noah."
"Hi Noah. I'm Will." Will clears his throat awkwardly. "Um, how old are you?" That's something you ask children, right?
Donna pulls Noah's hand away from his mouth. "It's okay, you can tell him."
Noah flops back into the chair, and kicks one leg listlessly. He holds up three small fingers. "Tree."
"Atta boy." Donna ruffles his hair fondly.
"Three. Good age." Will nods sagely.
Toby snorts. "Don't worry about him, Noah. He's just as scared of you as you are of him. More, probably."
Noah giggles helpfully.
"I'll assume you two are already well-acquainted?" Will gestures between Toby and the kid.
"Me and this brat? Oh yeah, we know each other pretty well."
Will waits to see what Donna's reaction will be to Toby calling her child a brat, but she and Noah both just laugh. "Hey Noah, Toby's in kind of a mood today. I think he could use a hug. In fact, I think he's miffed you haven't said hi to him yet."
Will waits with baited breath as Noah slides happily onto the floor and trots up to Toby, who is standing hands on hips in front of the white board. He levels his gaze at the little boy. "And just what do you want?"
Unfazed, Noah raises his arms above his head. "Up."
Now completely floored, Will watches as his grizzly writing partner bends down easily and lifts the small child into his arms. Noah wraps his arms around his neck and Toby rests his chin on his shoulder with a genuine smile.
"Eey-o." Noah says happily.
"Hey, kid." Toby greets.
"Eeyore." Donna clarifies for Will. "A pet name."
"Isn't that... The really grumpy horse from Pooh Bear?"
"Donkey. But, yes."
"Huh." Will marvels. The kid is insightful, at least. He's surprised Toby allows it. "He's, um. He's really cute."
"Thank you." Donna beams.
"I believe he was talking about me." Toby says flatly.
Will ignores him. "He doesn't look all that much like you." Dark hair, dark eyes. Curly hair. Maybe he could see the resemblance in the nose, a little bit.
"No, he looks like his dad."
"What a horrible thing to say about your child." Toby deadpans.
Donna just rolls her eyes. "Could I get my kid back?"
"Sure thing. Down you go, monster." Toby hooks his hands under Noah's arms, and swings him back and forth as he lowers him to the floor, making him laugh.
Noah goes back to his mother, and clambers up onto her lap without much assistance.
"Tell me, kid, is your dad knocking around here somewhere? Or are you wandering around solo today?"
"No!"
"No what?"
"Dad not here."
"Well, gosh, what'd you do to him?" Donna feigns being appalled.
Noah just laughs. "Nothing!"
"Hm, I don't know. You're looking pretty shifty." She squeezes his sides, and he melts into hysterics. Evidently, that nap had given him a fair amount of excess energy. "If your dad isn't here, I guess you're not going home tonight."
"No!"
"Yes." She teases.
Will looks around curiously. He's never met Donna's husband before, but this interaction with her son has piqued his interest. They're sweet together - and, hell, even Toby is sweet on the kid. They must be a pretty nice little family.
"Let's have him stay. He's got a way with words." Toby jokes.
Just then, Will's least favorite senior staffer swings into the Roosevelt room. Josh doesn't bother greeting any of them, but looks straight at the toddler on Donna's lap. "Noah. C'mon, we had a plan. I thought you were going to come through."
Apparently, they know each other too. Will feels pretty out of the loop, as every other person here seems to be on better speaking terms with this toddler than they are with Will himself. He wonders vaguely why Donna lets her kid hang out with a jerk like Josh Lyman - he can't imagine he's any good with kids.
"Oh!" Noah's face brightens suddenly, and he slips off his mother's lap before she can do anything. From the chair beside her, he grabs her purse and loops the handles over his neck so that he's wearing it like a cow bell.
"Boys, what on earth are you-"
"Atta boy." Josh praises him as he comes around the table toward Donna and her son. "That's right, you grab the purse, and I grab-" Before Will can really process what's happening, Josh has moved Donna's arms aside and hoisted her over his shoulder in a well practiced maneuver.
"Agh! What the hell, put me down!" Her filter for cussing has obviously gone out the window. "I swear to god, if you don't put me down, I'm going to fucking-"
"Bad word!" Noah says gleefully.
"Sure is, kid." Josh says calmly, taking a step toward the door. "Now, let's make a break for it. We're kidnapping you, Donnatella. Jesus, can't you get a clue?"
"Jesus!" Noah echoes happily.
"Joshua Lyman, I swear on all that is holy-" Will notices for the first time that she's smiling. Laughing a little, even.
"See you later, boys." Josh gives Will and Toby a wave, taking another step toward the door. Toby looks somewhat amused, despite himself.
"Josh." Donna says warningly, and hits him soundly in the stomach for good measure.
Laughing, he finally sets her down. "Wow, one hell of a punch." He feigns, rubbing his stomach. "You been working out?"
Meanwhile, Noah is running around in circles, the purse still around his neck. "Mommy said bad word!"
Donna huffs, feigning irritability, and pulls her shirt down over her stomach. "I hate you," she says, but her grin gives her away.
"I'm sure." He says easily. "Now, c'mon, I'm serious. We're taking you home."
"Josh."
"What?"
"I told you I'm here for the night."
"I know, but look at how adorable we are." He gestures between himself and Noah, and for some reason, it's only then that it clicks for Will. The dark hair, dark eyes, the dimples. They're father and son. Donna wasn't kidding - they look strikingly similar.
"I'm not seeing it." Toby inputs dryly.
"Nobody asked you, Ziegler." He gives his wife a winning smile. "And, c'mon, we planned a whole heist."
"Very well thought out." She says sarcastically.
"What do you say?"
"Still no."
He shrugs, looking marginally disappointed. He probably knew this would be the end result. "Alright. Have fun here with these guys."
"Me and Toby? We always have a blast, you know that."
"Oh, I do."
She gives him a smile. "I'll be home probably around one or two, okay?"
He sighs. "Yeah, okay."
"You don't have to wait up."
He waves a hand dismissively. "I'll be up."
"Can't sleep without me?" She teases with a grin.
"Shut up, would you?"
"I'd love it if you'd both shut up." Toby mumbles. Will is right there with him.
Donna kneels on the carpet and beckons her son to her. She removes her purse from his neck and puts her hands on his arms with a significant look. "You're going to be with just your dad tonight, okay, hon?"
"Yes!" He enthuses. Will surmises there are some things he'll be doing tonight that he's not normally allowed to.
"Be good for him, okay? Eat all your food, take your bath, no whining."
"Hmph."
"Yeah, hmph. And don't try to con him into reading you more than two books, okay? I know he's a sucker but we shouldn't try to take advantage of that." Noah laughs, while Josh rolls his eyes. "I'll see you tomorrow morning, okay? I love you so much." She pulls him in for a lasting hug, and he plants a kiss on her cheek.
"Love you, mama."
"That's my boy." She stands up and turns to Josh.
"And me?" He prompts.
"Eh, you're okay." She teases, but rests her hands on his shoulders. He pulls her in by her waist, and Will tries not to gag. "Have fun, okay? But not too much fun."
"We'll skip the strip club, then."
"Half an hour TV tops, got it?"
"That's him, right? Not me?"
She rolls her eyes. "Try not to miss me too much."
"Oh, I'll ache in your absence." He drawls sarcastically.
"I love you." She says simply.
"I love you too." He echoes warmly, all humor gone from his voice. He moves one hand from her waist to the back of her head, and kisses her firmly.
It's not, really, an inappropriate kiss. Not even for the workplace. It's meaningful, but it's brief. Nonetheless, Will wants to pour a bucket of water on them or something. Next to him, Toby rolls his eyes.
"This is a place of business."
They both turn to look at him.
"Kick his ass?"
"Not today." Donna tells him. Toby smiles.
"Whatever. I'll see you guys. Toby..." He hesitates, staring at Will. "Bill. Have fun."
Only the fourth time this week Will's corrected him, but hey, it's bound to stick sometime.
"Good riddance." Toby says cheerfully.
Before Will can say anything, Donna squeezes his hand and says, "Bye, babe." She reaches down to ruffle Noah's hair. "Bye, hon."
"Bye, mama!"
"Alright, Noah, lets hit it. Guys' night." He reaches out a hand to his son, and Will comes to understand why his mother affectionately calls him 'monkey.' He scrambles up into Josh's arms in a matter of seconds, not unlike a spider monkey.
"He knows how to walk, Josh."
"Yeah, but why would he need to?" Josh grins at her as he carries Noah out of the room.
With a smile and a shake of her head, Donna finally resumes her seat.
"That was... Endearing." Will says eventually, trying to sound like he means it. Recent revelations aside, he still likes Donna. She's nice, even if her husband is a world class prick.
Will should've known. He's the President and Leo's golden boy, Sam considers him a brother, CJ and Toby obviously love the guy, however grudgingly. Of course it follows that he has a gorgeous wife and adorable son because of course he does. Everything goes his way.
From getting into the right frat at whatever Ivy League he'd attended due to family legacy, to his career, to his perfect family, he'd probably walked into all of it with that same mixture of ego and entitlement.
"Oh, thanks." Donna gives him a smile. "Sorry if we can be a bit much, but..."
"Don't encourage her, Will." Toby admonishes him. "Next thing you know she'll be showing you their wedding album and talking to you about her parenting quandaries."
Donna sends Toby a glare. "Oh, can it. I know you love it when I come to you with my parenting quandaries."
"And she'll ask you to babysit."
"You love babysitting."
"But I'm not Will. Poor Will over here barely knows you."
"Will knows me plenty." Donna defends, but then turns to Will uncertainly. She stares at him for a moment, contemplative, and Will can't help but be a little unnerved. Finally, she says, "You didn't know I was married to Josh, did you?"
"See, you don't know him that well."
Will ignores Toby's interjection. "Well... No, I didn't."
"I figured."
"How did you know?"
"Your face, right now. Also, last week."
Will pales. "I was hoping you wouldn't remember that."
They were standing by Donna's desk, working through her edits on one of the sections he'd written. She barely looked up as Josh breezed in the doorway.
"Hey, you."
"Hey. Do you think you could meet with Jacobs today about that speech he's giving in Delaware? Because-"
"It puts pressure on the President to respond. Yes, I'm all over it, I got back from the hill fifteen minutes ago."
"And?"
"And we're working on new language, with his staff. He was just trying to cause a stir, but I got him in line."
"With?"
"Threatening to bully the international coalition off of his trade bill."
The deputy chief raised a fist in victory. "You're the best, you know?"
"I do." She gave him a dazzling smile.
"And you've got just a great ass." He grinned at her as he whipped past the desk to go out the other door, briefly touching her arm as he passed.
She rolled her eyes, but smiled nonetheless. "Thanks."
"See ya, Phil!" He called as the door swung shut behind him.
Will gave her a look of something like commiseration. "That guy is so obnoxious." He said disdainfully.
Donna just snorted, seemingly unbothered. "Yeah, he is."
"I remember."
"But, you agreed with me! You agreed that he's obnoxious."
"Of course I did. He is obnoxious." Donna shrugs. "And he was being obnoxious right then, so I didn't feel the need to correct you. It's just that he's a lot of other things beside obnoxious, which I figured you'd learn in time."
"What did he do?" Toby asks curiously.
"He just made a comment about my ass. And Will, I assume-" she giggles, "-thought he was sexually harassing poor little old me."
Will's face colors. He feels kind of stupid now that she puts it like that. Donna is no damsel in distress, and if someone said something that bothered her, she would say something.
"Well, was he?" Toby asks, mostly teasing her.
Donna shrugs. "No."
"Was he doing it in front of Will on purpose?" Toby says knowingly.
Donna sighs. "Yeah. That's what was obnoxious about it."
"I don't understand." Will says, nonplussed. "What did I have to do with it?"
"Well." Toby starts. "Our friend Josh is very possessive."
"A little possessive." Donna corrects.
"And so, with you being the new guy in the office, he wanted to make sure you knew Donna was his." Toby says in a tone of fond disdain.
Donna rolls her eyes. "It's very caveman, or tomcat marking his territory or whatever, believe me, I know. I've laid into him about it at least a dozen times."
"But... Why did he do it like that? Why didn't he just tell me you guys are married?"
Donna snorts. "You have no idea how many times I've asked him that."
"I don't get it."
"He's passive. That's his way. And, he probably figured you'd get it on your own."
"I didn't."
"Maybe I'll use you as an example next time. 'See Josh, your caveman tactics didn't work on Will Bailey, so maybe this time you can try a human approach?'"
"Maybe." If he remembered who Will Bailey was.
"Plus, we were standing at my desk."
"...So?"
"So, you could've just looked down." Toby supplies for him. "It's like a goddamn shrine to Josh and his mini me."
"It is not! Besides, his is worse."
"Agreed. But why do either of you need photos of each other? You work fifty yards down the hall from each other."
"We don't see each other all the time, okay? And most of those pictures are of Noah, who isn't with me all the time."
"Whatever." Toby mumbles. He must be feeling writer's block pretty badly right now, because he's not pushing them to get back to work.
Donna turns back to Will, her slight fluster fading. She appraises him with that same contemplative look of before. Will feels distinctly like she can see right through him. "You don't like him," she says eventually.
Will blanches. "Who?"
"Josh."
"Well... Um..."
"It's okay. A lot of people don't."
"I mean, I don't know him that well, so-"
"Yeah, that's probably it. He takes a while to love."
"As in, most of us are still waiting for the love." Toby inputs.
"Take Toby, for example. Would die for him." To Will's surprise, Toby doesn't refute her. "Really, you've gotta get to know him."
Will's surprised at how little offense she seems to take at his opinion. In fact, she seems almost gleeful, as if she relishes this opportunity. "I'm sure."
"Usually by now, you'd have..." She trails off, before smacking her hand to her forehead. "Oh my god! We haven't had you over for dinner yet."
"Um, what?"
"Dinner! You're new, we would've had you over for dinner your first week. Oh my god, I can't believe I forgot. We haven't had a dinner in a while, in between going out of town for thanksgiving, and looking for a new house, and..." She takes a beat. "I'm sorry. We've been so busy."
"You normally have new staffers over for dinner?"
"Yeah! We normally have everybody. It's like a weekly thing. At least, somewhat. Everybody comes, really, it's great. You'd love it. Right, Toby?"
Toby gives him a wry grin. "It is kind of a right of passage."
Will furrows his brow. "Really?"
"Oh yeah! And then, you know, we talk about what happened the next day. Like when Toby sang all of Eternal Flame."
Will looks up at him questioningly. Toby shrugs. "You had to be there."
"Exactly. You have to be there." Donna gives him a winning smile. "What do you say?"
"Um, okay, sure." If it's really as big a deal as they're making it out to be, it might help Will to work his way into the fold. "When's the next one?"
Donna furrows her brow. "Hm. Good question. We're house hunting this week, and with the inaugural..."
"You're still having the Christmas one, right?"
"Of course." Donna's eyes light up. "Oh, that's perfect! That one's the best, anyway. Decorations, eggnog, everyone's merry... That's perfect. You're officially invited to the great West Wing holiday bash of '02, Will. If you're in town?"
Will nods sheepishly. "I will be."
Donna beams. "Great. Now, we're leaving for my parents' on Christmas Eve morning..." Will gives her a horrified look, and she snorts. "Yeah, believe me, I know. Whatever you're imagining, add a toddler to that. It'll be hell."
"I'm sorry."
"It's fine. Anyway, I guess that means the twenty-third! Mark your calendars."
"You'll remind us at least ten times before then, Donna."
"I'll remember." Will tells her.
"Thanks, Will." She claps her hands together excitedly. "Oh, and there's a Secret Santa. We can put your name in, can't we?"
"Uhh, sure." He dreads having to buy a gift for someone he barely knows, but he'll try his damnedest. Despite his qualms, maybe the party will be fun. He has every doubt that it will make him like Josh Lyman, though.
"Great." Toby announces. "Now, can we please, for the love of God, get some egg rolls in here?"
On the afternoon of the twenty-third, Toby stomps into the communications office even more irritably than usual. Donna looks up from her desk amicably. She's used to dealing with Toby's moods, and she had gathered that today he'd be in a particularly foul one. Between his deposition that morning, his birthday, and what Josh had confessed to her this morning, he's sure to be close to boiling over by now.
"Happy birthday, boss." She greets evenly.
"I'm going to kill him."
"Ah, to whom do we refer today?" She gives him a dazzling smile. "Did you notice how I used 'whom' there correctly?"
He glowers. "Your no good, meddlesome, immature ass of a husband, that's who."
Donna purses her lips. She expected this. "Ah."
"Do you know what he did?" Toby demands.
Donna stands and starts to shuffle papers on her desk, packing up. She doesn't look at him. "Could we make this quick? I really have to go get Noah before the roads are too bad."
"Donna! This is serious. It's not like how I'm usually pissed at him, this time-"
"Are you still bringing pie tonight?"
"What?" Toby squints at her incredulously. "Of course I am, what's-"
"Great. I'll see you then." She pulls on her coat determinedly. "I don't think I'm going to come back after I get Noah, if that's okay. I know you wanted me to stick around and be training wheels for Will's Oval meeting, but-"
"Donna." Toby interrupts her. "I'm trying to talk to you."
"And I don't want to hear it!" She explodes.
Toby falters. "What?"
"I know what Josh did!" She snaps, glaring at him. "And you know what? I'm on his side, okay? He did what he thought was right, and frankly-"
"He had no right to!" Toby balks.
"Well, too bad!" Donna rails, her eyes flashing. "He had good reason, and-"
"He didn't seem to have many earlier! I confronted him about it, and all he did was stand there."
"Of course he did." Donna mutters. She makes a mental note to check on him before she leaves. If she's not careful, he'll let himself get bogged down in the President and Leo's wishes simply to avoid his feelings.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Toby asks indignantly. His voice turns plaintive. "Donna, I thought you would be on my side."
"I'm sure you did." Donna says, taking a deep breath. "I am a lot of the time when it comes to Josh, because it's not serious. Because it's fun to razz him. And, because, let's face it, he does some dumb stuff a lot of the time. But on this? He's got my support, Toby. He's my husband, okay? I love him. And at the end of the day, on the stuff that really matters, I'm always going to be in his corner. You should know that."
Toby stammers, taken aback. "Donna, I don't..."
She sighs. "I just thought you knew him better than this, Toby. I mean, I get it, you're both emotionally closed off, neurotic nut cases, but I really thought you would see this."
"See what?" Toby asks blankly.
Donna gives him a look of disappointment. Surprisingly, he does feel a flash of guilt. "He's your father, Toby. Don't you know what Josh would give to have his father back in his life?"
Toby reels in surprise. "That's not the same thing."
"That's a load of crap and you know it." Donna bats back easily. "You have the opportunity to let your father back into your life, it's as simple as that."
"No it's not!"
Donna shakes her head. "You're ungrateful."
Toby bristles. "You don't understand-"
"You're having kids, Toby." Donna implores him. "Do you know how badly Josh wishes that his father, or his sister, could meet his kids? Hell, that they could meet me?" Emotion starts to choke her voice.
"Donna..." His voice grows soft. "I'm sorry, I didn't know."
"Of course you didn't. You couldn't. You take what you have for granted. And that's fine, but you should take stock of what's really important, okay? It's time."
He narrows his eyes at her. "You said 'kids'."
She falters. "What?"
"You said, for Josh's father to meet his 'kids.' Plural."
She hesitates. She fumbles with the tie of her coat, securing it more tightly around her. "You know what I meant. Kid. Possibly more kids in the future. Hypothetically."
He continues to squint at her. "Okay."
"I have to go, Toby." She throws her bag over her shoulder. "Please think about what I said."
"I will." He says softly. "I'm sorry."
She smiles wryly. "I'm not the one you need to be apologizing to."
"Right." He mutters.
"Now." She takes a deep breath. "You'll be bringing pie tonight, correct?"
He offers a slight smile, which she returns. "Correct."
"And you've got your secret santa gift?"
"All squared away." He lies.
"Perfect. I'll see you later."
"See you." He agrees.
"Donna!"
Donna reluctantly stops in the hallway, midway between her office and Josh's. She's bundled up to face the cold weather outside, ready to go get Noah from daycare and take off. But after her conversation with Toby, she feels the need to stop in and check on Josh, and hopefully spend just a few moments in his arms. She's tired, and feels the need to be close to him. After that, she wants to stop by the Whiffenpoofs and listen to them sing for a few minutes. Maybe after that, her Christmas spirit will be replenished and she'll be ready to have a fun afternoon with her son, decorating cookies, wrapping presents, and enthralling him with tales of Santa.
However, she won't be able to do any of that if people keep delaying her.
She suppresses a sigh and turns around, allowing Will to catch up to her. "What?"
He seems taken back by her brusque tone. He hasn't seen this side of her yet, so she supposed it could be a bit jarring. But really, it's about time. "Um, hi. Sorry."
"What is it, Will?" She repeats.
"It's just, well, I got Josh for the secret Santa thing."
"Okay." She says slowly, nonplussed.
"I don't know what to get him."
She tries not to roll her eyes. "Will. C'mon. This is very last minute."
"Everyone is doing theirs last minute!" Will defends. He'd been commiserating about it with CJ and Toby that morning.
"I'm not." She says primly.
"Well, I'm happy for you, but c'mon, I'm stumped. Help me out." He hadn't even meant to put this off, he simply didn't know what to get Josh. It doesn't help matters that he still hasn't warmed to the guy. Picking out a present for a coworker is hard enough when you don't have to resist the urge to roll your eyes every time they walk in the room.
"Well, I'd avoid getting him a new watch, because I've already got dibs on that." She says dryly. In reality, there's a bit more to her present than that (she'd had his father's old watch repaired and given a new setting) but Will doesn't need to know that.
"Good tip." Will says sarcastically.
"You could always get him socks."
"Socks?" Will repeats incredulously.
"He's constantly losing socks."
"Donna."
"What?"
"Please." He begs. "What does he like?"
"Well." She gives him a wry smile. "He likes me."
"Donna..."
Poor Will. He really wasn't prepared to deal with Difficult Donna today. "He likes his son. He likes the Mets. He likes reading, but he doesn't often have the time, he likes collecting music, he likes, um, working? I'm at a loss, Will."
Will sighs. "Okay. Thanks."
She offers him a begrudging smile. "It's just one of those things you learn, you know? After working with someone for a while. You learn why it's funny to give Josh a book about string theory, or CJ some goldfish bowl decorations. You learn which type of gag gifts will actually make Toby gag and which ones won't. It takes time. Just try your best, okay?"
"Okay."
"Now, I really have to be going."
"Right. I'll see you later."
"See you." She shoves her hands in her pockets and continues determinedly on her way. She finally reaches Josh's office and to ward against further interruptions, closes the door as soon as she's inside.
Josh looks up at her from where he stands beside his desk, on the phone. He holds up one finger to let her know he'll be off in a minute. "Susan, sorry to interrupt. Can I call you back? Thanks." He places the phone back in its cradle. "What's up?"
"What are you working on?"
"Right now? Infant mortality. Plus this other thing with the church of the nativity, it's..." He sighs. "The president and Leo have gone Christmas crazier than usual. Anyway, are you heading out?"
"Yes." She purses her lips. "You will be done in time for dinner tonight, right? And you'll force Leo out the door if you have to?"
He gives her a wry smile. "I'll try."
"Josh."
"We'll be there, Donna. I promise."
"Good." She folds her arms, a slight pout forming.
"Oh no."
"What?"
"What's turned you into Difficult Donna today?"
"Who said I was Difficult?" She argues, just to be combative.
He holds up his hands. "And may God have mercy on whoever has to face her wrath."
She reluctantly allows her face to soften into a smile. She drops her purse into his visitors chair and gestures with her arms. "Can I...?"
"Course." He allows her to fall into his arms, and holds her tightly. "What's wrong?"
She sighs, a feeling of comfort and relief washing over her. "Oh, it's nothing. Just stressed, I suppose. And Toby cornered me in the office to rant about you."
"Oh, boy."
"Now that he's not here, I can tell you that I think you went about this in the wrong way." Her stern tone is somewhat mitigated by the fact that she's still clinging to him. "But, your heart was in the right place. I backed you up. I may have gotten a little... Carried away."
"Oh no."
"Yeah." She mumbles. "Difficult Donna was out in full force."
"She gone yet?"
"She's getting there."
He smiles softly. "Thanks for that."
"Of course." She pulls back slightly to look at him. "I actually came by to check on you."
"Me?" He smirks as though the idea is ludicrous. "I'm fine."
"Yeah?" She says dubiously. "The thing with Toby..."
He shakes his head adamantly. "I'm fine."
Donna runs her hand over his back a few times, still unconvinced. "Okay. If you say so."
"Go, get Noah. Have a good time this afternoon, okay? Forget what's going on here. Everything will be okay."
She allows herself a small smile. "Okay."
"I love you."
"Even when I'm difficult?"
"Especially then." He kisses her softly.
She grins fully. "I'll see you tonight."
"God willing."
"Do I need to pay Leo and the President a visit?" She threatens teasingly, her eyes gleaming as she heads for the door.
"Please don't. I'm not sure they could handle the wrath."
After his conversation with Donna, Toby grudgingly admits that perhaps he'd jumped too quickly to anger with Josh. However, he's weary of actually approaching Josh to admit this and reconcile the situation. Fessing up to his wrongdoing isn't exactly one of Toby's strong suits - not that he'd admit it.
Thankfully for him, Josh beats him to the punch. He accosts Toby as he's coming out of the Oval, a tense look on his face. "I just need to tell you this. Come here."
Toby follows, bemused, as Josh leads him to the Roosevelt room, which is occupied. "Sorry. Come here."
"Josh..."
"Come here." He leads him finally to the mural room, and closes the door behind them. He turns to face Toby with an imploring expression, and starts talking before Toby can interrupt him. "Alright, it was desperation. It wasn't out of a desire to do evil. He had a young family and he barely spoke the language. He went to jail. He went to jail and you went to school, and it was all a half century ago. Look what he did in two generations. What room did you just walk out of?"
Despite what he'd told Donna earlier, Toby can feel his irritation growing once more. If only Josh had kept his mouth shut, he would've had an apology coming his way. But then he had to go off again, asserting himself into Toby's life and making judgments he didn't have the grounds to... "I appreciate that that's what you think. Do I get to think what I think?"
"No, you don't, 'cause you don't know what I know."
"What?"
"That I would give anything to have a father who was a felon, or a sister with a past. That's it."
"Josh..." Toby finds his anger fading away again. He'd felt remorse earlier when talking to Donna, but it's nothing compared to what he feels now, standing in front of Josh, whose pain is so obvious. It must've been hard for him to say it, too, as he knows how Josh hates to be vulnerable.
"Except, no, that's not it." Josh can't seem to help himself from going on. He rests his hands on his hips, preparing himself for another argument. "You're having kids, Toby. Do you know what... Do you know much I wish that my dad could meet my kids? My wife? That's... That's something you don't give up if you can help it, okay? If not for him... Do it for your kids. They deserve to meet their grandfather."
Toby tilts his head at him, considering. Josh had said much the same thing to him that Donna had, and he doubts they'd even coordinated it. They're simply on the same wavelength, and Donna certainly knows her husband. "You said 'kids.'"
Josh stares at him. "What?"
"You said kids. With an S. Donna did it too, when I was talking to her earlier."
Josh's arms fall to his sides. He looks away evasively. "Well, I didn't mean kids plural, I just meant, you know, one day..."
"Josh."
"Yeah?"
"Is Donna pregnant again?"
Josh looks down briefly, clenching his jaw. Finally, he sighs, knowing he's been caught. "Yes, okay? Yes, she's pregnant. But it's early, so you can't tell anyone."
Toby's expression softens. He almost smiles, even. "Josh, that's... That's incredible. Mazel tov."
Josh allows himself to smile, finally. "Thank you."
"That's great. It's planned this time, I assume?"
Josh rolls his eyes good naturedly. "Yeah, we were trying this time, asshole."
"I'm happy for you."
"Thanks."
"And I am... I am sorry, about earlier. I overreacted, I wasn't thinking."
"I appreciate that."
"But..." Toby can't help the qualifier. "Though I admit there are some things I take for granted, there's something you have that I don't, you know."
"What's that?"
Toby smiles sadly. "When you go home tonight, or any night... There will be people there that are happy to see you."
"Toby..." Josh's smile fades.
"I know what you're going to say. I'll have kids, soon. But they won't be... I won't really have them, all the time. And the best part time father in the world is still a part time father."
"Toby, I'm sorry."
"It is what it is. But you and Donna? God, that's... That's something."
Josh's eyes glow softly. "I lucked out, it's true."
"I mean, the way she took me to task this morning..." Toby chuckles dryly. "That girl really loves you. God knows why, but she does."
"Hey," Josh protests half heartedly.
"And I know that I'm partially to blame. It's not just that Andi doesn't love me like that, I mean. When we were married, I was distant, I was..." He waves a hand. "But, God... I'm really trying this time."
Josh is looking more uncomfortable by the minute, likely because Toby never opens up this much. Nonetheless, Josh attempts a sympathetic look and claps him on the shoulder. "That sucks, man, I'm sorry."
Toby shrugs. "Like I said. It is what it is."
"Sometimes it's just... Not right, you know?" Josh says, subtly trying to imply that maybe it's not his lack of effort that's the problem, but that he's putting in the effort for the wrong woman.
"Yeah. Anyway." Toby pushes on brusquely, reaching for the door handle. "You're leaving soon, right?"
"Yeah. I'll go over with Leo, we've got a little time."
"I'm going to duck out soon, I've got to stop and get a secret Santa gift." Toby rolls his eyes, indicating his disdain for the practice. Despite his protestations over the saccharine nature of the tradition, he participates every year.
"Right."
"You've got yours?"
Josh gives him a sarcastic smile. "You forget who I'm married to?"
"Right. You've had yours for days."
"Bet your ass."
Donna and Noah were just settling down for a break from cookie baking - they're in the oven, so they have some time before they need to decorate - when the phone rings. Donna turns around from where she sits in front of the TV set, setting up the movie Rudolph.
"I got it!" Noah says excitedly.
"Noah..." Donna starts, but he's already galloping over to the phone. He'd recently learned how to answer it, and now he's obsessed. Friends and family found the practice adorable, but others were understandably a little annoyed.
"Hello!" Noah greets loudly. "Who this?"
Donna beckons him over.
"Uh huh... Uh huh... Uh huh." He says as he walks. She stifles a laugh, knowing he'd heard her talk on the phone the exact same way a thousand times. "Here she is." He sticks out the phone. "Mom, for you!"
She graciously accepts it. "Thanks babe. Hello?"
"Donna, hi."
She sits back on her heels. "Hey, boss, what's up?"
"You have your kid answer the phone for you now?"
"Helps me weed out unwanted calls."
"So I'm wanted?"
"You slipped through." She jokes. She hopes he's not calling to cancel his attendance tonight. He seemed to be getting over it, but if his confrontation with Josh had gone poorly...
"Anyway." Toby pauses. "I had, um, a question."
"Is this work related? Because I'm officially on vacation."
"No, it's not." He grumbles. "Though I withhold the right to badger you over the next couple weeks."
"I'll have Noah screen your calls." She bites her lip. "Anyway. What is it?"
"I was wondering if, um... If there was perhaps room for one more at dinner tonight?"
She's surprised by the question. A cautious smile starts to form. Does this mean...? "Toby..."
"You said we could bring people, you know, family and friends, but I wasn't sure if it was too late, or..."
"Toby." She cuts through his mumbling. "Who do you want to bring?"
He sighs heavily. "My father."
She beams uncontrollably. "I'll set an extra place."
"That's some serious artwork you've got going on there, little man." CJ tells Noah, who is perched on her lap. She'd taken off work a little early and had come over to help Donna set up. Currently, that entailed cookie decorating. "Who's this one supposed to be?"
Noah cranes around to smile at her, and holds up the heavily iced cookie triumphantly. The last one had been Spider-Man, but looked frankly much the same. "It's you!"
"Me?" CJ gasps dramatically. "Of course, how could I not see it before? It's gorgeous."
Donna smiles. "I think you've done enough decorating, hon." She easily scoops Noah off CJ's lap and sets him on the floor. "Go wash up, it's nap time."
"No!" He protests. His adamant expression is somewhat undermined by the frosting all over his face, hands, and shirt. He'd eaten almost as many cookies as he decorated.
"Do you want to stay up late tonight for the party, or not?"
His stubborn expression melts away entirely. "Okay. Nap." He pads off to the bathroom.
"He's going to need some help with that." Donna guesses. "I'll be back in a few minutes."
CJ chuckles. "I'll be here."
Donna carefully picks up the CJ cookie and inspects it. "I can really see the resemblance."
CJ rolls her eyes. "Get out."
Donna grins and follows her son down the hall. When she returns fifteen minutes later, she sinks into her chair with a tired but content sigh.
"You're really due for a break." CJ says sympathetically. "You've seemed so tired lately."
Donna nods. "I am."
"Are you looking forward to going home for Christmas?"
Donna shrugs rather listlessly. "This is home."
"Well, sure, but..."
"I'm looking forward to seeing my family. I miss my parents. But we saw them a few times while traveling during reelection, so it hasn't been too long. Now, my extended family? Them I'm not so excited about."
"Right."
"I'm happy to say they've finally moved on from gossiping about my bastard child to voicing every complaint they have with the Bartlet administration, and now I'm sure with the election, too."
"Godspeed you."
"Thanks. I'll be fine." She waves a hand dismissively. "What about you? You're going to see your dad, right?"
"Right."
"How is he?"
"The same." CJ smiles softly. "He sounded excited to see me, on the phone."
"That's nice."
CJ nods. "We'll see how it goes."
There's a brief lull in the conversation, during which CJ munches on an unfrosted cookie. "You know..." Donna starts, a mischievous smile on her face.
"What?"
"I bumped into Danny this morning."
CJ rolls her eyes. "Oh yeah. He's back."
"Any sparks?"
"Will you and your idiot husband leave me alone?" CJ bemoans half heartedly. "Danny is driving me insane, and it's not in the good way."
Donna smirks. "I heard he kissed you in the briefing room this morning."
CJ waves a hand. "An 'old friends' kind of kiss."
"Sure." Donna humors her. "Anyway, we were chatting in the bullpen, and I invited him to dinner." She says nonchalantly, though the glee in her eyes gives her away.
CJ gapes at her. "Donna Moss!"
"What?" She asks innocently.
"Why would you do that?"
"He's our friend!" Donna reminds her. "We all love Danny, he's in town, he said he didn't have other plans-"
"Of course he didn't."
"CJ, c'mon. It'll be fun."
"If he can behave, maybe."
"It's a party. I'm sure he'll let work alone."
"Maybe." CJ allows.
"I got some mistletoe just in case."
"What?"
"For the sparks, you know."
CJ swats her on the arm, and they both laugh. "You're insane, you know that?"
Donna shrugs. "I'm just a girl with a dream."
"Well," CJ goes on, "you seem to be accumulating quite the guest list."
"It's not that many. It's only..." She starts counting on her hands. "Me, Josh, you, Danny, Toby, Toby's dad, Will Bailey, Charlie, his sister, Anthony, Leo..." She's run out of fingers. "...and some others. Oh, god."
"Yeah, I thought this might happen."
Donna looks around the cramped apartment. "We really need a bigger place."
"How's house hunting going?"
"Oh, you know how Josh and I are. We couldn't agree on which toaster to buy."
"Right."
"In the meantime," Donna says, "I think I'll call around to the neighbors and see if I can scrounge up some extra tables and chairs."
"Good plan. Try to avoid inviting any of them."
"Good tip."
"You guys can go ahead and start." Donna says for possibly the fourth time.
Most of her guests roll their eyes at her. "Donna, c'mon, we're waiting." Toby tells her flatly. "Josh and Leo will be here soon."
"I know they said they were leaving, but the roads are bad, and I don't want everything to get cold, and-"
"Donna." CJ interrupts, amused. "We've got wine. We've got appetizers. We're fine, okay? Your hostess duties are taken care of."
Donna allows herself a small smile. "You're sure?"
"Yes!" The entire room choruses heartily.
"Okay." She sinks into her seat with her hands up in a gesture of surrender.
The apartment is filled to bursting with holiday cheer and people that night. Donna and CJ had managed to fit a couple extra folding card tables and some chairs alongside their main dining table, and all three are currently laden with food. From CJ's potatoes au gratin to Charlie's cornbread pudding, they've assembled quite the spread. The tables are ringed by seventeen mismatched chairs (including Noah's booster seat), one each for Donna, Josh, Noah, Leo, Toby, Julie Ziegler, Will, CJ, Danny, Charlie, Deena, Anthony, Ginger, Bonnie, Margaret, and Addie and her husband. To say they have a full house is an understatement.
Much to everyone's relief, the front door opens only a few minutes later. Despite what they'd told Donna, the smell of the food is truly starting to wear them all down. Donna hops out of her seat and goes to greet a snow covered Josh and Leo.
"Leo! Glad you could make it." She kisses him on the cheek. "I'll take your coat?"
"Thank you."
"And you." Donna hits her husband on the arm. "You're late."
"Hey!" He gives her an amused look. "The roads were bad, okay? Whatever happened to taking my coat? Being grateful that I made it home alive, and all that?"
"Hmph." She gives him the slightest smile as she goes to hang up Leo's coat, and he follows doggedly to hang up his own.
"Leo!" Noah calls excitedly. He smacks his palm on the arm of the chair next to him. "Sit here!"
Leo smiles warmly and gives Noah an affectionate pat on the head. "I'd love to, kid."
Josh returns and surveys the crowd in his home. "Hey, everybody. Anthony, good to see you again, Michael, it's been a while..." He nods to Addie's husband. He continues looking around for people he hadn't just seen a few hours ago. "Mr. Ziegler, so glad you could make it, and..." He hesitates at Will. "Bill, right?"
"Bill Bailey!" Leo crows in amusement. "I gotta say, nice showing in the Oval today pal."
Will sulks.
Donna elbows her husband in the ribs. "It's Will, and be nice, I'm trying to get him to like you."
"Me? He doesn't like me?" Josh doesn't sound alarmed at all, and instead slightly amused. The group titters.
"No." Donna tells him flatly.
"Hey, I didn't mean - I'm-" Will stammers.
Donna grins evilly. "Probably 'cause he's got the hots for me."
Will becomes, if possible, more flustered. "What? No, I wouldn't-"
Josh waves a hand dismissively, hardly looking at him. He smiles at his wife. "It's okay, Will. I can tell when my wife is making fun of me."
Will blinks in surprise. "Oh." He says lamely. "Oh, okay."
"Sorry, Will, it's just too fun." Donna tells him.
Josh, having moved on, prods his wife on the arm. "Nice sweater."
"I've been wearing this all day."
"Really?"
"Really."
"I don't remember it being so... Dizzying." He jokes.
Donna gives him a look before turning to their assembled guests. "That reminds me. Guys, don't you think Josh and I should get complimentary Christmas sweaters?"
The guests vocalize their enthusiasm for the idea, while Josh rolls his eyes. "Not this again. I'm Jewish, remember?"
"I know I'd forgotten." Toby says with a muted smirk.
"It's not like it has to have the nativity on it or anything," Donna says haughtily, "just some, you know, snowflakes or something."
"Yeah, there's a snowflake's chance in hell of that, Donnatella."
"Hmph."
"I was hoping to change though, actually." He surveys the room once more. Most had had time to change into casual clothes before arriving. "Before dinner, if that's okay?"
"Yeah. I'll come with you." Their friends ooh and ahsuggestively, not unlike teenagers. Donna gives them a stern look. "Because we have something to talk about, you perverts."
"Talking, is that what the kids are calling it these days?" Danny asks, and the room laughs.
Donna rolls her eyes, but is happy to see CJ smiling in Danny's direction at the remark. She puts her hands on Josh's shoulders and starts to push him out of the room. "But seriously, start eating! I mean it this time."
Leo nods his accord, eyes on the ham. "You heard the woman."
Back in their bedroom, Josh shrugs off his suit jacket and pulls off his tie. "What's up?"
Donna sits on the bed, watching him thoughtfully. "Are you doing okay?"
He gives her a sideways glance as he unbuttons his shirt. "Yeah, why?"
"I know you talked to Toby earlier, and I just..."
He shakes his head, smiling slightly at her insistent thoughtfulness. "I'm fine, Donna. Seriously. It went fine."
"Okay. I believe you. I mean obviously it went okay, he's here, he brought his dad, it's just..." She purses her lips. "I know this is a rough time of year for you, that's all. And between the Toby situation dredging up some things, and..."
He pauses after buttoning his jeans to drop a kiss on her forehead. "Donna. Really."
She softens. "It's okay to not be okay, is what I'm trying to say." She persists. "There's pressure to be happy this time of year, and I just want you to know... It's fine not to be. And it's fine to tell me. Whether it's missing your family, or..."
"Or what, Donna?" He leans back against the dresser, watching her. "I have a family, you know. In fact, I'm with them. Of course I miss my dad, my sister. But I've got you guys. I've got you and Noah, and soon another..." He smiles genuinely. "So I'm good. Honestly."
She bites her lip. "This is the time of year I left you." She confesses softly. "And I know I came back, and I know last December went fine, but I just... I left you, when you were having the worst possible time. I'm afraid you associate this time of year with..."
"I don't." He interrupts her. "Donna, c'mon. You were barely gone twenty-four hours. You came back. I associate it with us going away, I associate it with Noah being crazy excited, I associate it with your insane family, I... I don't hold that against you. You know that, right?"
"I know." He offers her a hand and pulls her off the bed. She easily wraps her arms around him, resting her chin on his shoulder. "I just... Wanted to remind you that I'm not going anywhere."
"I know you're not."
"And I'm here if you need me."
"You always are."
"Okay." She says softly, finally relenting. "Okay, that was it."
He runs a hand over her back. "Thanks for... You know."
"Yeah."
"I should probably finish getting dressed. We have a house full of guests, many of them with dirty minds."
She grins, and pulls back to looks at him. "That reminds me!"
"What?"
"Since it might be a little hard to find the privacy at my parents' house, you get the first part of your gift tonight, after the party."
"And what's that?"
"Me, of course." She says as if this should be obvious. "Any way you want me. I'll even wear a bow!" She leans in close to his ear. "...and nothing else."
His breath hitches. He takes a moment to regain his composure, while she giggles. "You know what you're doing? You're making me want to do the exact opposite of get dressed."
"Hm." She pecks his cheek. "Later. Now put on a shirt."
"You're evil."
She smiles deviously. "Maybe."
He shakes his head, grinning. "Toby was right."
Given their current context, this claim catches her off guard. "Um, what?"
"Toby was right." He repeats. "Which, God, I hate to say. But he was right. I'm lucky. I am so, ridiculously lucky."
Will Bailey has to admit that even though he hasn't exactly been active in the conversation, the atmosphere at dinner is pleasant, and oftentimes amusing. The party is large enough that they split off into sectional conversations rather than one large one, and Will finds himself between two. To his left, CJ and Danny are arguing (or perhaps flirting?) about the first amendment, while across from him, Addie and her husband are engaging Ginger and Bonnie on the best schools in the area, as Bonnie had just had her first child. While Will floats between these two conversations, he has ample opportunity to observe the rest of the table.
On one end, Anthony is trying to impress Charlie's younger sister Deena, despite the fact that she's two years his senior. Charlie occasionally jumps in to mitigate this, but is mostly focused on a conversation he's having with Margaret about finishing his degree in the spring. Near the other end, Donna engages Toby and his father in a discussion about World War II. At the far end from Will, however, is the biggest surprise. Rather than engage in any of the various intellectual conversations going on around them, two of the most powerful men in the country, Josh and Leo, are absorbed in a three year old.
Noah sits with Josh on one side and Leo on his other, and he seems perfectly content entertaining both of them. While Josh focuses on cutting up Noah's food and making sure most of it gets in his mouth rather than on his shirt, Noah regales both of them with some convoluted tale. Both men listen attentively, smiling and asking questions. Will has to admit that it's kind of sweet, watching them hone their focus, usually reserved for matters of national importance, on a toddler. "And what was that about the elves?" He hears Leo say, and he can't help a small smile. He hasn't seen Josh eat much, either, as he's spent most of the meal wiping mashed potatoes off his son's face.
Though Will had suppressed an eye roll when Josh came back out in a Harvard sweatshirt, he has to admit that he doesn't seem quite so pretentious when tending to his son.
"Will?"
Will snaps back to attention, his eyes focusing on CJ. "Huh?"
"I asked how your first month is going."
"Oh." Will smiles. "Not so bad."
After dinner, a few of the guests take off, leaving a slightly less crowded apartment. The table is cleared with the exception of remaining desserts, and the rest of the party settles into the living room. There isn't exactly enough seating, so a few chairs are pulled up to complete the circle. In the sole armchair, Leo sits comfortably with Noah on his lap. On the love seat, ironically, CJ and Danny are squished next to an apologetic Donna. Deena and Anthony pull up dining room chairs. Will finds himself crammed on the couch, with Toby and his father Julie on one side and Charlie on his other. Josh emerges from the kitchen a little later bearing some drinks requested by CJ and Toby, to find that there's really nowhere to sit.
"Hm, think we can make room?" Donna jokes, though she's practically already on CJ's lap.
"It's fine." Josh waves a hand and easily sinks to the floor, where he sits cross legged in front of Donna, leaning back against her shins. She smiles and idly runs one hand through his hair before turning her attention to the room.
"Okay! Senior Staff Secret Santa time." She claps her hands together. "My favorite alliteration."
"It's not really-"
"Plus honorary senior staff members, Charlie, Will, and myself." She corrects at Toby's interruption. "Okay! Who wants to start?"
"You do." Toby, Josh, and CJ all chorus, making Donna roll her eyes. She gets up from her spot on the couch and retrieves a present from under the tree.
"Okay. I had... Drumroll please..." The room obliges her. She returns to the couch and passes the present to her right. "CJ!"
"Aw, shucks." CJ smiles and takes her gift. She pulls out the paper to reveal a salt shaker with the chemical symbols NaClon it. Most everyone laughs, and CJ the most. "God, you just couldn't let this die, could you?" She shakes her head and gives Donna a one armed hug and a peck on the cheek. "Thank you, I love it."
"Thought you might." Donna shrugs modestly.
"I don't get it." Will mutters. Charlie shakes his head at him, telling him it's not important.
Next up, CJ delivers her gift to Leo. He opens it to revel a pair of suspenders with reindeer on them, which makes him chuckle. She takes this as a success.
Noah, playing with the wrapping paper, looks around. "Present time?"
"Not for you, not yet." Donna tells him. "You have to wait until tomorrow, okay, babe?"
"Oh, no he doesn't." CJ retrieves another box from under the tree. "Because Aunt CJ is the best!"
Noah squeals gleefully and starts tearing apart his present, with a little help from a smiling Leo. Meanwhile, his parents shake their head at her.
"CJ, you didn't." Donna says flatly.
"Of course I did."
"You'll spoil him!"
CJ shrugs. "That's a risk I'm willing to take."
"Please tell me the rest of you didn't do this." At least five faces look at her guiltily. "You guys!"
"It's a train!" Noah says triumphantly, holding up a box. "Leo, it's train!"
"Sure is, kid." Leo helps him with the plastic packaging. He watches in amusement as Noah takes the train and begins running it up and down the arm of Leo's tailored suit.
"Leo." Donna gets his attention. "Who did you have?"
"Oh, it's that one." He points at a box under the tree. "Could somebody chuck it to the new guy?"
Josh rolls his eyes at Leo's antics (he's now moved on to simulating an earthquake for Noah's train) and retrieves the box, which he gives to Will. Will opens it to find a dazzling White House Christmas ornament.
"Probably shouldn't have 'chucked' that one, Leo." CJ tells him with a laugh.
"Oh, yeah." Leo looks over at Will. "It's to remember us by, you know. In case you don't stick around."
What does he mean, in case? I'm on a limited time contract? Will smiles despite his confusion. "Um, thank you."
"Alright Will, you're up." Donna gives him an encouraging smile.
Still not totally confident in his choice, Will fetches a gift bag from under the tree and gives it to Josh, who raises his eyebrows in surprise. He's already opened it by the time Will returns to his seat.
"I've gotta say, Will..." He holds up a miniature Mets jersey. "I don't think it'll fit me."
Will flushes, while the others laugh. "It's for..."
He trails off, noticing Josh's wide grin. He's messing with him, of course. "Noah! Get over here!"
Noah looks up and scampers down to the floor. His father pulls him onto his lap, and easily slips the jersey over his head. It's a touch big, but all in all Will didn't do too poorly on the sizing. Josh continues to grin at his son. "Oh my god, look at him. It's perfect."
Over his head, Donna gives Will an impressed thumbs up. Will smiles in relief.
"Hey, thanks, Will." Josh briefly shoots the disarming grin at him, and for that brief moment, Will has to admit, he doesn't hate him.
"Hon." Donna taps his head.
"Right." Josh deposits Noah back with Leo, and then grabs a heavy package which he drops in Charlie's lap.
Charlie winces. "Jesus, what is this?"
Josh merely shrugs as he resumes his seat on the floor, smirking. Charlie tears off the paper to reveal multiple LSAT prep books.
"Hey, no way. I needed to buy some of these."
"I figured. I know you weren't sure if you were applying this summer or waiting a few years, but just in case, I put a few things together. Check the inside cover."
Charlie lifts the inside cover of the first book and withdraws multiple sheets of paper. "These are... These are recommendation letters." He leafs through them. "From..."
"Me, Leo, and the President. Yeah." He exchanges a smile with Leo, who is also grinning at the young man. "I don't know if you need that many, but..."
"Thank you. Wow, this is..."
"Read 'em later." Josh suggests, as Charlie scans the letters. "For the love of God, don't get emotional in my house."
Charlie cracks a smile. "Yeah, okay." He tucks the letters safely inside his book again. "Okay. Guess I'm up."
Charlie grabs a gift bag and hands it to Toby. Toby frowns at Charlie's anticipant expression and carefully removes the object inside. When he does, he bursts into laughter. "You're serious?" he manages.
"Deadly." Charlie grins at the reaction. Toby shows the room the hat, which has TEAM TOBY neatly embroidered on the front. Everyone laughs, and Charlie looks pleased with himself. "Due credit to Josh for the inspiration." Josh takes a half bow. "The shop normally does stuff for rec league teams, so they were a little confused when I wanted just one."
"You should've gotten a dozen, then." Josh suggests reasonably.
"You know I can't possibly wear this, right?" Toby says, eyes still gleaming.
"That's okay, I'll wear it." Charlie reaches across Will to grab the hat, and puts it on. "My gift to you."
There's a lull once the laughter dies down. CJ says, "So that leaves..."
"Right." Toby clears his throat awkwardly. "As you've all ascertained, I had Donna, but..." He clears his throat again. "The gift isn't for public viewing."
Donna furrows her brow in confusion. "Seriously?"
Toby gives her a look. "It's of a... Personal nature."
Now everyone is watching him curiously. He flushes and glowers at the room. Donna smiles slightly. "Okay. I'll open it later then, yeah?"
"Sounds good."
"Alright everybody!" Donna claps one more time. "Structured party activities are over. Please, dear god, eat some more of this food. Enjoy yourselves!"
At that, the party breaks up into sections once more. Noah drifts off in Leo's arms, having long since passed his usual bed time. Donna notices first and makes to get him, but Josh stays her with a hand on her knee and carries Noah to bed. Leo watches them go with a fond smile. Taking advantage of the moment, Donna approaches him and hands him a wrapped gift over his shoulder. He looks at it in surprise.
"But, CJ already gave me those suspenders..."
"It's just a little something extra." Donna says conspiratorially. "I happened to have it, I thought you might want it..."
Curiously, Leo rips off the paper to reveal a framed photo. It's of him, sitting in this very armchair. Donna must've taken it at some other dinner within the past year or so. In the photo, Leo smiles down at Noah, who is reaching toward Leo's face with an intent expression. Behind them, Josh leans on the back of the chair, watching them with his usual dimpled grin.
Leo stares at the photo for some time, smiling softly. "I... I don't know what to say."
Donna smiles, and leans in to give him a kiss on the cheek. "Merry Christmas, Leo."
"Merry Christmas, kid. Thank you."
Josh returns from putting Noah down and Donna insists that he take her seat on the couch.
"No, I'm good, you should-"
"Just sit." Bemusedly, he allows her to push him onto the couch, and she happily positions herself on his lap. "See?"
Their arrangement forces CJ and Danny closer together, though neither seem too unhappy about it.
On the other sofa, Julie Ziegler excuses himself to go to the bathroom. In his absence, Will leans over to talk to Toby. "Seems you and your dad are getting along better."
Toby sighs and shrugs. "We'll see."
"I meant to ask you what was going on earlier. How did he get into the building if you didn't make him the appointment?"
Toby smiles wryly and looks across the room. "Josh got him the appointment."
Will frowns. "Why would he do that?"
"He's presumptuous and meddlesome."
Will is surprised that Toby doesn't sound more angry when he says this. Earlier in the day, he'd been livid about his father's presence. "But that's really messed up. Why would he do that?"
Toby takes his time answering. "Josh takes matters of family very seriously. He's especially concerned with family being neglected, or taken for granted."
Will furrows his brow. "Why should he care? It's none of his business, and he's got a perfect family for himself, after all."
At long last, Toby turns to look at him, a very strange expression on his face. Finally, he says, "Will... Most of Josh's family is dead."
This declaration totally throws Will off. "Wait... What?"
"His sister died when he was a kid, his father died during the first campaign... Unless you count his mother, who's in Florida, his entire family is in this apartment." Toby tells him flatly. He goes on in a mutter, "It's almost like he's cursed, you know, what with him almost dying himself a couple years ago."
"He almost..." Will frowns, trying to remember something that had been tugging at the back of his mind for sometime. He knows where he'd seen Josh before. "The President will be fine, but his Deputy Chief of Staff, Josh Lyman, was hit in the chest and is still in critical condition..." an image of a man with a dimpled smile standing next to President Bartlet flashed across the screen. "Oh, God."
"Yeah." Toby agrees, no longer looking at him. "Now, I can understand why Josh irritates you. Call him annoying, call him obnoxious, call him egotistical and entitled. But don't imply that he's had an easy life, because... He hasn't." He says simply. "You may not have been around to see him struggle for this, for where he is now, but the rest of us..."
"I understand." Will gazes across the room at the man in question, who is contentedly holding his wife. He understands now why everyone is the West Wing has such loyalty to him. "I'm sorry."
And, as he considers Toby's words, Will is forced to realize that yes, he too likes Josh Lyman. How's that for a Christmas miracle?
Goddammit, Donna. He thinks with a slight smile. You win this round.
Later, in the kitchen, Toby finally finds a moment of privacy to give Donna her gift. He hands her the gift bag, eyes on the floor.
"This is the very personal gift, huh?" Donna asks with a smirk. Toby mumbles something in confirmation. She shakes her head in amusement and opens the present. She inhales sharply as she withdraws a tiny, newborn size onesie.
"I hope you don't mind, I badgered Josh and he caved and told me. I thought you probably wouldn't want everyone to know yet, so..." He trails off. She breaks into a smile and chuckles as she reads the front of the onesie. "I was just going to get a plain one, you know, with ducks or something, to make my point, but then I saw that... I know it's cheesy, but..."
Donna continues to laugh. The onesie says, My mom is always right. "Oh, Toby."
"You were right, this morning. You usually are. And this is my way of saying, 'I'm sorry for being an ass.'"
"You're forgiven." She tells him, and wraps her arms around him for a hug. "Thanks, boss."
"Congratulations." He says softly.
"Thank you." She pulls away, eyes sparkling. "We're so excited."
"Josh certainly looked it." Toby agrees. "Though I have to say..."
"What?"
"I can't believe you're stealing my thunder this way."
That makes Donna laugh again. "I'm sorry. But, hey, our kids can be friends!"
"My kids befriending a Lyman? Unlikely." He says dryly.
Donna bites her lip, her expression becoming contemplative. "Hey, can I ask you something?"
"Okay."
"Earlier, Josh said 'Toby's right. I am lucky.'" She looks away shyly. "What did he mean?"
"Oh." Toby says softly, becoming awkward once more. "Well, he had pointed out that I should be grateful for what I had, you know, as far as family goes, and... And I just pointed out to him that he had something very enviable as well."
"What's that?"
"You." Toby tells her without making eye contact. "He has... He has you. And that certainly qualifies him as lucky, at least from where I'm sitting."
Donna beams, her eyes beginning to water. "Oh, Toby..."
"Don't." He says gruffly.
"You're really very sweet, you know."
"Please don't tell anyone."
"I'd never." She holds her gift to her, feeling completely full and content. "Happy birthday, boss."
He ducks his head, smiling slightly. "Thank you, Donna."
Notes:
yayyyy thanks for reading!
should I write a fic where they go househunting 🤔🤔
btw I think I have one more chapter to move over here and then it’s new content time ba-by!!!
Chapter 6
Notes:
aaaaand here’s the last one before we’re onto new content!!
WARNING: extreme baby fluff ahead lol
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
“Hey, you know what I just realized?"
"What?"
"This is the first inauguration I haven't been pregnant at."
Josh considers this. "I'll drink to that."
She grins as they clink their glasses together. They've finally found a moment alone after being the center of attention thanks to President Santos's "surprise" anniversary celebration for them. Considering President Bartlet had done much the same thing for them at his inauguration four years ago, they weren't exactly surprised.
"And the kids are at home, and we don't have to be back by a certain time because your mother's staying..."
"Where are you going with this?" He asks, knowing the look in her eyes well enough to know it's going somewhere wonderful.
"I think we should celebrate."
"Aren't we doing that now?"
"I think we should celebrate by getting tipsy and fooling around in my new office."
A grin splits his face. "Yeah, I like your way better."
Six weeks later
"Hey, hon?" Donna treads into the living room one Wednesday evening. In the Bartlet White House, it would've been a miracle for them both to be home by seven, but in the Santos White House it's less of a rarity. They have young kids too, after all.
Josh looks up from his laptop. "What's up?" He sits forward in alarm. "Shit, I left the thing on the stove too long, didn't I?"
"Nope, that's not it."
He looks around the living room. "Where's Elise? Is she into something?"
Donna smiles, amused that the first place his mind goes when she sounds worried is their three year old. "Playing in her room."
"And-"
"And Noah's fine too. He's in his room pretending to do homework so he doesn't have to clean like I asked."
"Okay." He relaxes slightly. "So, what's up?"
She fidgets nervously, her hands behind her back. "Well, you remember how we were so psyched on inauguration night because it was the first one I'd been to when I wasn't pregnant?"
"Yeah." He starts to smile. "I certainly remember that."
"Well." She procures the pregnancy test from behind her back. "We may have jinxed ourselves."
For a moment, he just stares at her. "Seriously?"
She sinks onto the couch beside him. "Seriously."
"You're not messing with me?"
"Would I do that?"
"I wouldn't put it past you." He mutters distractedly. He runs one hand through his hair. "Oh my god."
"Yeah. I was pretty surprised too."
"Oh my god."
"I mean, not that surprised, because this is the third go round, and I'm getting pretty good with the signs by now, but... Still surprised by the whole concept of a pregnancy right now."
"This is going to sound like totally the wrong thought right now, but I knew your boobs were getting bigger."
She can't help but laugh. "Not exactly my first thought, but hey, a valid observation."
His momentary amusement quickly fades. "Donna... We can't do this right now."
She sighs. "I know it's not the most opportune time, yeah. We're both just settling into our jobs... But, hey, when has timing ever stopped us before?" She jokes.
He braces his elbows on his knees and rests his head in his hands. "This isn't like before."
"I know. But, Josh, c'mon. Frankly it'll probably be easier. We've been around the block a few times." She reaches out to put a calming hand on his shoulder. She's a little bummed that he isn't as excited as she is, but she understands. He's an over thinker and a worrier, it's just what he does. He'll come around.
"That's another thing. Aren't we too... Old?"
She gives him a look. "Speak for yourself, mister."
"Okay." He admits. "Aren't I too old?"
"You're forty-two." She says incredulously. "You've gotta be kidding me."
"Yeah, well, that feels pretty old to me!"
"And I'm thirty-two." She emphasizes. "You know how many people wait until they're like five years older than I am to have their first kid?"
"Knew I should've married someone age appropriate." He mumbles.
She shoves his shoulder. "Josh. How old was Toby when he had his kids?"
"Forty-five." Josh allows.
"And how old is CJ, currently trying for her first baby?"
"Forty-three." He admits petulantly.
"See? You're not that old. And I'm really not that old." She says pointedly.
"But, I feel older. I'm two kids deep."
"That's what makes it better! You've already got a jump on things. By now, you're a pro. And I do mean a serious pro. Like, best in the league."
He gives her a cautious smile. "We are getting pretty good at this whole parenting thing, aren't we?"
"Pretty good." She agrees. "And we never ruled out having a third kid, did we?"
"Well, no..."
"C'mon." She prods, giving him that maddening smile that she knows he can't resist. "Another baby. Another round of ultrasounds, of first heartbeats, of tiny fingers and toes. First smiles and first words. How great does that sound?"
She can see his will dissolving, but something holds him back. His eyes are apprehensive. Finally, he says, "Donna... I never wanted to see you in a hospital bed again."
She melts. She moves closer to him, putting one of her legs over his and wrapping an arm around his back. "Aw, hon."
"I know it's irrational, but... I just want you to be safe."
"I know." She says softly. "But this isn't like that."
"I know, but..."
"God, I can hardly remember when hospitals only held good memories for us."
He smiles slightly. "Yeah, it's been a while."
"It's unfair. It is. But think of the good times... The first time you met your son... Your daughter..."
"I know." He tangles his hand in her hair. "I know, I just..."
"It's okay."
He nods. "I... I guess we're doing this."
She brightens. "Yeah? You're in?"
"Of course I am. God, yeah, of course I am."
She leans in to kiss his cheek, elated. "Good. I'm excited."
"As long as you stay safe. As long as you take care of yourself."
She rolls her eyes. "You're going to hover like you've never hovered before, aren't you?"
"Oh, definitely."
She runs her hand over his back, and dips her head to his shoulder. "We're having another baby."
"We are." He allows himself to feel excited. "Hey, that's... That's amazing."
"That's what I've been saying."
"I've always wanted a big family."
"I know you have."
"This is great, honestly. This is... It's going to be great."
"Yeah. It is."
"Elise is going to be thrilled."
"She is, isn't she?"
"Noah, not so much."
"Well, the little sibling thing is kind of old hat for him. Now if it's a boy..."
"A whole other story." He agrees. His eyes start to glow as they throw around the familiar terminology ("if it's a boy," "little sibling"). "We're really doing this all over again."
"Well, unplanned pregnancy is kind of our shtick."
He chuckles. "Yeah. I guess it is."
"You're really happy about this?" She confirms.
"Thrilled." He kisses the top of her head. "Really, I'm thrilled."
Four weeks later
"Alright, Donna, how's everything going this time around?" Their OB-GYN of nearly ten years rolls her chair over to the observation table, pulling the ultrasound machine behind her.
"Good!" Donna says brightly. "Less morning sickness than usual, so that's good. I noticed I've been gaining more weight than the past two times, but I guess that's to be expected, right? I'm getting older and all that."
Dr. Lee nods. "Yeah, that could have something to do with it. I wouldn't be concerned."
"Great."
"She's been pretty tired, too." Josh chimes in from his seat beside her, hand on her arm. "Really tired, actually. I've been trying to get her to work less, but..."
Donna rolls her eyes. "I'm fine."
Dr. Lee smiles slightly, by now familiar with their dynamic. "Well, that's probably nothing to worry about either. We'll double check blood cell count and all that, but again, it might just be your body reacting differently as you age."
"Told you." Donna says pointedly.
"Now, let's get a look at this kid, huh?" Dr. Lee waits for Donna to pull up her gown and squirts gel on her belly. She starts to move the probe around, eyes on the screen. "Any bets on the sex this time around?"
Josh and Donna exchange a look. "We've got one of each by now. I think either way it ends up is fine with us."
"Mm." Dr. Lee squints at the screen. "Noah and Elise excited?"
"Haven't told them yet."
"Yeah, that makes sense."
"Besides, Elise probably won't be able to really conceptualize of a sibling until it's, you know, walking around." Donna smiles.
"Mm." The doctor's brow furrows. "Okay... Hm."
Her facial expression starts to alarm the couple. Josh leans forward, his hand finding Donna's. "Is everything okay?"
"Oh, everything is fine." A smile starts to creep across the doctor's face. "I think we've got an answer as to why you're gaining more weight, and you're feeling more tired."
"We do?" Donna asks, nonplussed. She squints at the screen as well, as though she'll somehow be able to understand the shadowy blobs there.
"Congratulations, you two. You're having twins."
Josh and Donna exchange a look. "We're having... I'm sorry, did you say-"
"Twins." Dr. Lee affirms. With her finger, she outlines two distinct shapes on the monitor. "You're about ten weeks, as we thought, and they're pretty much right on track. Fraternal, I believe."
"Twins." Donna says slowly. "Like... Two."
"It'll take some time to adjust to the idea." Dr. Lee tells her gently. "You two are going to have a full house on your hands."
"No kidding." Josh practically yelps.
Dr. Lee chuckles. "Again, it'll take some getting used to. There's no indicators yet, but down the line we can talk about some complications that come with multiple pregnancies. As for right now, I'll get some snapshots and send you guys out of here with some new reading material. Exciting!"
"Exciting." Donna repeats in a mumble, still dazed. She stares down at her abdomen as though slightly afraid of it. Josh looks like he's been hit over the head with a brick.
Fifteen minutes later, they sit together in the car, silently staring ahead. Josh holds the ultrasound photo in one hand, and Donna clutches a pamphlet on fraternal twins. Finally, Josh breaks the silence. "It'll be chaos."
She could say "it already is," but she knows what he means. They haven't seen anything yet. "Yeah," she agrees.
"I guess..." He takes a deep breath. "I guess we really knocked that 'big family' thing out of the park in one swing, huh?"
She turns to looks at him. She's surprised to find him smiling slightly. She finds the corner of her own mouth turning up. "We really did."
He turns and smiles at her fully, his eyes glowing in the that familiar way that gives her thrills all the way to her bones. "Can you believe that we got two unplanned pregnancies for the price of one?"
She bursts out laughing. "We're cursed. Or blessed. Either way."
He laughs too. "Jesus Christ, I have to get a vasectomy."
That completely sets her off. She dissolves into hysterics, and even tears up. Beside her, he's laughing wildly too, theirs hands clasped on the console. Finally, choking on her laughter, she manages, "Yeah, sorry babe, you've gotta get the snip."
He snorts. "This is so... Like us."
She sobers up slightly. "It is, isn't it?"
"We can never do anything by half."
She shrugs. "Or one thing at a time."
That makes him laugh again. "Okay. Two more kids. Wow."
"You're still in?"
"Nah, I'm leaving you." He says easily, still smiling.
She leans in and pecks his cheek. "Thanks for not freaking out."
"Me? You're the one that's, you know, being turned into a minivan."
Another smile bubbles at her lips. "I guess I am."
"God, no other Chiefs of Staff had this problem, did they?"
"Every Chief before you was practically geriatric. But I don't know, some of my predecessors might've."
"It's a good problem to have, I guess."
"Yeah." She says warmly. "And you know the Santoses prioritize their kids. We'll make it work."
"Yeah. We always do."
"We do." She agrees. She frowns slightly. "I am a little worried about telling the First Lady that after having accepted this amazing offer, I'm not only pregnant within the first hundred days, but pregnant with twins..."
"You know she's crazy about you, Donna. She's not going to let you go."
"I'm not going to let her go."
"I mean, you'll have to scale back your time there a little..." He trails off as Donna's eyes bug out. "We can talk about it."
She sighs. "Yeah."
"Two babies." He repeats. "We're going to have four kids."
"That's one away from a basketball team."
"Maybe I'll hold off on the vasectomy, then."
"Oh hon, our kids aren't tall enough for that."
He kisses her gently. "I love you, you know that?"
She smiles. "Yeah. I love you too."
"We're really doing this thing."
"Let's go Team Lyman."
He gives her a crooked grin. "We're seriously the size of a team now."
"Just think of the political dynasty, Josh."
Ten weeks later
"So I'm taking off, and I'll be back around one, if that's okay sir? Donna's appointment shouldn't take that long, and then we'll probably pick up Elise on our way back."
"You." Matt points sternly at his Chief of Staff. "You and your damn twins."
Josh quirks his head at his Commander in Chief, smiling slightly in curiosity. "Yes, sir?"
"Everyone is obsessed with them. The assistants are obsessed with them. The speechwriters. My lead counsel. Half of Congress. Certainly they're the darling of the press."
"Um, is this a problem, sir-"
"And I was fine with it! I even indulged it myself. It was all fine until-"
"Oh no."
"It took down my wife. My wife, Josh. Helen has baby fever like she hasn't had since... Well, since before Miranda! She spends all day fawning over Donna, and then she starts to hint to me that we should have another baby."
Josh tries to refrain from laughing. "I'll take it you don't want that?"
"I'm the President of the United States! I'm in office! I've got a country to run."
"So do I." Josh protests.
Matt ignores him. "All day in that East Wing, like an incubator. I blame you."
Josh squints. "How old is your wife, anyway? Could you still-" Matt silences him with a sharp glare. Josh coughs. "Anyway, sir, a baby would make for great press. Just sayin'."
"Not you too!" Matt says incredulously.
"You could have one of mine." Josh offers.
"How generous."
"I'm just saying, it's not the worst idea."
"You're supposed to be on my side here."
Josh shrugs, still smiling. "Could be America's baby."
"Get out of my office."
"Yes, sir."
Before the door closes behind him, Matt calls out, "But good luck with the appointment. Let me know how everything goes."
"Of course, sir."
For the second time this pregnancy, Josh and Donna find themselves sitting in their car outside the OB-GYN, stunned into silence. Josh holds one of Donna's hands in both of his, and with her other she rubs his back consolingly.
"It's going to be okay, Josh."
"I knew something would happen to you. I just... Knew it. I could feel it."
"Nothing is happening to me." Donna emphasizes. "You heard her, this isn't uncommon, especially for pregnancies with multiples. It's not serious."
"It is serious." He levels a stern glare at her. "Donna, tell me you know this is serious."
"Well, okay, I know it's-"
"You heard the possible complications. This isn't something to take lightly, okay? You can tell me it'll be okay, but I get to worry, and you have to listen to me now."
She offers half a smile. "Okay, sweetie."
"I'm serious, Donna. If you think you're getting around this bed rest thing-"
"I don't." She says soothingly. "I'll obey Deputy Downer this time around, okay?"
This elicits a slight softening in his expression. "It's actually Chief Downer now."
"All the more reason."
"You won't. We both know it."
"I know, but I'll try harder."
"I'm just... I'm worried."
"I know you are."
"Aren't you?"
She seems surprised by the question. She's grown accustomed to being the level headed one where her own health is concerned. "I... I don't know."
"C'mere." She obliges, leaning in and resting her head on his shoulder. He frees one hand to run through her hair. "It's going to be okay. Everything's going to be fine."
Now that she's the one being comforted, she lets her own worries surface. "No, it's not. We have two small kids, Josh. They're a full time job, they need me. I can't take care of our toddler while on bed rest."
"I can handle it."
"You're running the country, Josh."
"I can handle it." He repeats. "I have to, so I will. You come first, always."
"I didn't plan to take maternity leave for another few months, I'll have to tell the First Lady-"
"We'll handle it." He tells her. "It'll be okay. I promise. The First Lady will understand, you can work from home, we'll get my mom up here to help with the kids..."
"This really isn't what you imagined for your first year, is it?"
"No." He says softly. "But that doesn't matter to me."
Two weeks later
"Mr. Lyman?" Josh looks up to find one of the East Wing assistants, Ellen, standing in his doorway. "I've got a message for you from The First Lady's office, along with some information."
"Thanks," Josh mutters, beckoning her in. He scans the note attached to his packet, which is about slipping some family leave statistics into tomrrow's address on labor regulations. However, something strikes him as odd. The note is in Donna's handwriting. "Wait a minute, Ellen."
He reads it again, and notices that at the end is scribbled Make sure he reads the bullet points before saying no! It's in third person. She hadn't meant for him to get the note, just the information.
"Sir?"
"Did my wife give you this?"
Ellen blanches. "She may have faxed over some of the information, but I don't-"
"The note. She wrote this."
Ellen looks mildly horrified. "Oh no."
"She's here, isn't she? She's in the building?"
Ellen looks at the carpet. "She's going to kill me."
Josh stands from his desk with an intent expression. "Not if I kill her first."
He strides out of his office and is in the East Wing in under two minutes. He's stopped outside Donna's office by her assistant, Jamie. "Josh! What can I do for you today?" He asks brightly.
"Give it up, Jamie."
Jamie's smile flickers. "Give what up? Would you like me to phone your wife, or-"
Josh ignores him and pushes through the double doors to Donna's office. From the couch, his heavily pregnant wife stares up at him like a deer in headlights. Josh gives her a sinister smile. "Hello, dear."
"Jamie!" Donna yelps. "I told you to guard the door!"
"Don't blame Jamie!" Josh exclaims. "What the hell are you doing here? You really thought you could be working across the building from me and I wouldn't notice?"
"Look, hon." Donna says weakly. "I had a really important meeting with the majority whip, and I knew you wouldn't let me come in-"
"You're on bed rest!"
"I've been resting!" She argues. "See, look at me!" She gestures to her feet up on the couch. "And I sprawled out in the back of the car on the way here, and I was going to leave in an hour, it wouldn't have been-"
"You've got preeclampsia, Donna! You think none of this charade raised your blood pressure? Do I need to list everything that could've gone wrong, the premature labor, the possible complications-"
"No." Donna interrupts. "I've heard it all before, Josh."
"So you're here... Why?"
Donna sighs in frustration. "I told you, I-"
"You're going home."
"What? No, just let me finish up this paperwork-"
"Jamie!" Josh calls out the door. "Call for a wheelchair for my wife, and have my detail bring a car around."
"I can walk to the car." Donna snaps.
"Oh no. You've done enough for today."
"Josh." Donna whines. "I've got work to do."
"You've got resting to do."
Two minutes later, Donna is being carted out of the East Wing, all the while trying to list remaining tasks to her assistant. "-and after that, make sure you call Susan to confirm the details, and-"
"Donna. Quit working."
Donna glares at her husband. "Tyrant."
He squeezes her shoulder before she's pushed out the door. "Love you!"
"You're what's raising my blood pressure." Donna mutters as she's wheeled out to the car.
Four weeks later
"So I've decided what I want for my birthday." Donna enthuses to Josh as he unties his shoes at the end of a long day.
"Oh yeah?" Exhausted, he sprawls backwards on the bed. "Let's hear it."
"A puppy. I want a puppy."
He gives her a skeptical look, upside down as she's sitting up smiling at him. "You're kidding."
"I'm not! I've always wanted a puppy. And Noah's getting to the age where he could help out, Elise would adore it, and these two..."
"No."
"That's it? Just no?"
"We're about to have four kids and you want to add a dog to that?" He asks incredulously.
"Yes." She says resolutely. "And I would love to have some company while I'm on bed rest. I'm so lonely, Josh."
"You won't be in a few months, I'll tell you that."
"C'mon. I need someone here with me."
"You want me to get you a puppy while you're on bed rest? So you can chase it around, and walk it, and shoot your blood pressure through the roof? No way."
"But Josh." She sticks out her lower lip.
He closes his eyes tiredly. "No way, Donna."
"I'd love you forever."
"You're already legally bound to that."
"Please?"
"Not a chance."
Two weeks later
On the morning of her birthday, Donna hears the front door open and the sound of all three members of her family trampling in. She hears Josh shushing them and the kids squealing delightedly. She stretches, yawning, assuming they've brought her breakfast in bed. She sits up and waits patiently, hands folded under her belly.
A few seconds later, the door creeps open, and her eyes widen comically. "You didn't!"
Looking beyond annoyed with himself, Josh approaches the bed with a basset hound puppy in his hands. The puppy squirms excitedly, but it's nothing compared to her kids, who are flitting around him excitedly. "I did, actually."
"I love you!" She squeals, holding her arms out for the dog. He climbs all over her, licking and wagging and making Josh wince every time he touches her belly. "And I love you!"
Her kids join her on the bed. "Do you like him, mommy?"
"What are you going to name him?"
Donna beams, looking into the puppy's droopy, soulful eyes. "Toby. He looks like a Toby."
"Wait, what?"
Two weeks later
"Okay, so I'll try to swing by after I pick up the kids if I can-"
"Ooh! Are you bringing them home?"
Josh levels a stern look at his wife as he picks out a tie. She gives him a hopeful smile from where she sits up in bed, watching him. "No, they're staying at daycare until I can pick them up."
"I can watch them!" She clasps her hands together in a pleading gesture. "Please!"
"You are on bedrest, Donnatella. You've tried to pull this every morning, and what's my answer been every morning?"
"No." She pouts. "But, Josh, I'll take it easy! I'll stay on the couch, they'll play and watch TV and do their homework-"
He scoffs. "Yeah, when pigs fly, Donna. I know our kids, you know our kids, and we both know that watching them is a physically intensive job."
She aims a glare at him. "You're mean."
He smiles as he ties his tie. "I prefer caring and protective, but hey, whatever floats your boat."
She folds her arms over top of her huge, round stomach. "I just get so bored."
"You've got movies, magazines, novels, what more could a girl need?"
"Some more work would be nice."
"You know what the doctor said. No extra stress."
"Not working is stressing me!"
He rolls his eyes. "I'm not getting into this with you."
"At least tell me how the education meetings are going. Please. I'm begging you."
"Not a chance, Donnatella."
She flails her extremities dramatically. "What good does eternally betrothed do me, anyway?"
"Not much, apparently." He checks his watch and furrows his brow. He strides to their bedroom door and opens it. "Noah! Elise! Are you dressed?"
Donna hears the patter of little feet in the hallway and smiles. She hears her daughter's voice, "We can see mommy now?"
"Are you dressed?"
"Yes!"
"Go in." He allows.
"My babies!" Donna cries happily as the bed is stormed by her children. Elise clambers over top of her, skillfully avoiding her belly thanks to a few lectures from Josh, and kneels next to her. Noah sits cross legged on her other side.
"Hi mama."
"Hey mom."
"How are you guys this morning?"
"Good!"
"Tired."
"I know, kiddo." She gently smoothes Noah's hair with one hand while rubbing Elise's back with the other. "Ready for school?"
"Yes!"
"Yeah."
"How are the babies?" Elise asks eagerly, splaying one small hand on her mother's abdomen.
"They're pretty squirmy. Can you feel them?" She moves her daughter's hand to one side, and Elise gasps.
"Wow! He's kicking!"
"He sure is. I think he wants to say good morning to his big siblings." Noah puts his hand next to Elise's to feel the movement too.
Elise puffs up proudly. "Good morning, thing two!"
Donna's mouth quirks up in a smile. "How do you know that's number two, hon?"
"He kicks slower."
"Huh. I never noticed that."
"It's true."
"Well, you would know."
Elise nods sagely. "I wish you could come to school with us, mama."
"Me too, hon." She takes a hair tie from her night table and pulls Elise's haphazard curls from her face.
"Are we coming home after school?" Noah asks.
"I'm afraid not. Elise is going to daycare and you're going to after school activities at the Y, okay?" She could've told them to pester their dad into bringing them home for her, but she would never do that. She and Josh don't use the kids to manipulate each other, and she certainly wouldn't consider making him into the bad guy when he's already doing so much to take care of her.
"Oh." Noah looks slightly put out. "Okay."
"I know, I'm bummed too. But we'll all have dinner together, okay?" At least, she hopes it'll work out that way. This week has been a pretty hot button one for the situation in Kazahkstan, and Josh has been tied up in the situation room more than a few times. At the very least though, he'll have his detail run the kids home so she can eat with them and put them to bed (the most effort he'll ever allow her to exert).
"Alright, guys, I left cereal out, you've just gotta pour the milk. Go eat." Josh starts to shepherd them off the bed. "Say bye to your mom."
"Bye mama." Elise kisses her mother's cheek and then her stomach. "Bye babies!"
"Bye mom." Noah kisses her in a similar fashion. "Bye, boys."
She embraces them both and watches them leave fondly. "Hon? You might've missed something in the whole dress-check."
"What?" Josh says blankly as he starts to sort paperwork into his backpack.
"Your daughter isn't wearing any pants."
He squints after his retreating children as Donna dissolves into giggles. "Elise! There were pants on your bed, I expect them to be on your body before we leave the house!"
Donna continues to laugh, watching him fondly. "Oh, hon."
"I'm trying, okay?"
"No, I wasn't criticizing. I'm amazed. You're amazing."
He shoots her a harried grin. "Stop."
"I'm serious! You're like super dad. You're taking care of the kids, you're taking care of me, you're taking care of, you know, the country." She stares at him with immense warmth. "You're doing it all, and I'm just grateful beyond words. You've been incredible through all this, I don't know what I'd do without you."
"Stop." He warns again. "You do this every morning too. If you get emotional, I'm out of here."
She chuckles. "I just love you, okay? So sue me."
"I love you too." He says begrudgingly. "Sorry for the, ya know, despot tendencies. I'm just trying to take care of you."
She waves him off. "C'mere. Your tie is messed up."
He stops what he's doing and shifts to perch on the bed beside her, glad for the excuse to take a moment to themselves. He smiles as she starts to tenderly retie his tie. "Still can't dress ourselves without you."
"I'm glad to still be needed."
"Still kicking?"
"Mmhmm." She holds the half finished knot with one hand so that she can guide his hand on her stomach. Even if it's something she's witnessed countless times, her heart still flutters at the way this makes his eyes light up. She finishes tying his tie and trails her hand gently down his chest. "There. Perfect."
"Thanks." He presses a quick kiss to her lips, but she grabs his tie again to keep him there. When he manages to pull back he gives her a suspicious look. "No."
"What?" She says with an innocent smile.
"No, Donnatella! No sex either. You know the rules."
Her lower lip protrudes. "But Josh..." She whines.
He shakes his head and moves away from her, her pout doing some very dangerous things to him. "I'm getting out of here."
"C'mon! I won't even move. I'll just lie here."
"As tempting as that sounds..."
She laughs. "Hey! I've got an idea."
"That's more sound than you just 'lying there'?"
"Yes. Could you bring Toby in here?"
"What?"
"Please. I want some company." She gives him her best pathetic look. "I get so lonely."
He narrows his eyes at her. "And if he gets up and leaves?"
"I won't chase him! I promise."
He gives her a skeptical look. "Don't let him sleep on my pillow."
"Yay!" She claps her hands together excitedly. "Oh, thank you, thank you."
He ducks out of the room and returns a minute later with the basset hound puppy in his arms. Donna squeals at the sight of him and Toby perks up considerably, his tail wagging back and forth. Josh places him on the bed and he immediately bounds over to Donna, licking her face and wagging excitedly. "Hey, buddy! How's my boy?"
"He pees on this bed, I'm selling him."
"You're the best husband ever, you know that?"
"I do." He watches her in amusement as she makes faces at the dog and rolls him onto his back for a belly rub. "You know, Toby senior wasn't so amused by your whole naming stunt when I told him about it."
"He called?"
"No." His smirk gives him away.
Her jaw drops. "He's back?"
"What?"
"Toby's back?" She asks urgently.
"Who?"
"Don't play dumb!" She throws one of her many pillows at him. "Is Toby back from his grand world tour or not?"
"He is." Josh acknowledges. "He got in a couple days ago."
"Why didn't you tell me?" She accuses, though her excitement is obvious.
"I didn't know until he stopped by yesterday! He said he'll swing by sometime soon to see you."
"He better." Donna mutters. After leaving the White House, Toby had taken the better part of a year to himself to devote to various projects. Some of it he spent in California, helping CJ get her foundation off the ground, some he spent in subsaharan Africa, doing some field work for the foundation, and some he spent with his children, traveling to various places, including Israel. "I haven't seen him since... God, since I got pregnant."
"Yeah, he had some things to say about that yesterday."
"About what?"
Josh's eyes sparkle. "I'll let him tell you."
"Josh!"
"I have to go."
An hour or two later, Donna notices Toby starting to squirm. She sighs, starting to maneuver her unwieldy body out of bed. She and Josh had agreed that while she was home, she could take Toby outside twice a day, up and down the street. He made it very clear that if that meant the puppy peed on the carpet after that, so be it. The living room is by now covered in puppy pads.
She pulls on her sandals. She puts Toby on his leash and happily heads out the front door, excited for her five minutes of freedom. She takes her time walking down the street, pausing to let Toby use the bathroom, but the end of the street comes up on her too quickly nonetheless. She purses her lips.
"Maybe we'll just... Keep going a ways, huh?" She turns on to the next street, Toby happily trotting along behind her. "Don't tell your daddy."
She enjoys her stroll (or waddle, more like) for another two minutes, but after that she starts to feel a headache behind her eyes. Blinking in frustration, she continues, but soon after the headache progresses into nausea. She turns around to shuffle back home, more than a little perplexed, as her morning sickness had tapered off some months ago. With the house in sight, she doubles over in sudden pain. She gasps, gripping her abdomen at the sharp, shooting pain. Noticing her distress, Toby starts to bark, pulling at his leash and giving her worried looks.
She sinks onto her knees, and then moves to sit in the grass. Toby gives her a few worried licks as she pulls her cellphone out of her pocket, panting. This pain doesn't feel like Braxton Hicks, but it can't possibly be bad enough to call 911, can it?
She breathes through the pain, trying not to vomit. She knows Josh is likely to be in the sit room, and she's loathe to bother him - especially because he'll grill her about what she was doing when this happened. Though ultimately it won't matter to him, it'll still worry him out of his mind. She doesn't need to do that to him unless it's serious.
She thinks about who she could call. Her assistant Jamie, perhaps? She looks down at her worried, shaking dog, and her conversation from that morning pops into her mind. She dials a familiar number and waits, trying to control her breathing.
"Hello?"
"Boss. Long time no see."
"I'm not your boss anymore."
"You'll always be the boss in my heart, Tobias."
"You sound strange. Are you okay?"
"Now that you mention it, I was wondering if you were available for a favor, now that you're back in town..."
Toby pulls up outside the house of his longtime friends, wasting no time in letting himself in. "Donna?" He calls from the front door.
"Tobias!" Donna waddles from the living room, trying to smile despite the pain, one hand braced on her stomach. "It's so good to see you!"
"Yeah, yeah, we'll get to that part. Right now we're getting you to the hospital."
"Take it easy, I'm sure it's nothing."
"What are you doing carrying that?" He reprimands, taking the duffle bag off her shoulder. "Jesus, what's in here?"
She allows him to take her arm, shepherding her out to the car. "I don't know, Josh packed our go bag this time around."
"He's going to be pissed at me for not calling him, you know."
"Well he'll be doubly pissed at me, so we can face his wrath together."
"As per usual." Toby offers a subtle smile.
"I missed you, boss."
"Let me help you down the steps, you're going to fall."
"Wait! Toby."
"What?"
"No, Toby, our dog."
Toby gives her a disdainful look. "Josh was serious about that?"
"We've never left him home alone before."
"Well now's a great time to start."
"Oh, can't we just bring him in the car with us?"
"No! I've got a nice car, Donna, I'm not letting your dog in it."
"Toby!"
"I said no."
"I was calling the dog, Toby."
"You really should've anticipated this problem before you pilfered my name."
Before he can close the front door, Toby (the puppy) trots obediently out onto the porch, making Donna smile. "Good boy!"
"Jesus Christ, I guess I don't have the time to argue with you."
"We're going for a little car ride, okay boy?" She bends to pick up his leash trailing on the ground, but Toby (the human) stops her.
"I'll get that. Just stop - stop. Hold the railing."
"You're worse than Josh."
In less than a minute, Toby is pulling out onto the road, speeding towards the hospital. "So, you got yourself knocked up again, huh?" He says, trying to temper his concern with some humor.
Donna gives him a reproachful glare. "Watch yourself."
"I mean, does someone need to show you two how to put the condom on the banana or - ow! Ow! Donna, I'm driving, stop hitting me!"
Donna huffs irritably. "Could you do that more quietly?"
"I'm just saying, it's twice now you've stolen my thunder. First you have Elise right after my kids, now you're doing the whole twins thing too."
"Imitation is the highest form of flattery." Donna says dryly.
"I should be flattered?"
"Mm."
"I missed you too, Donna."
Donna brightens slightly. "Do you like my dog?"
"No."
"Okay, Ms. Moss, it appears you have placental abrasion, which is a risk with preeclampsia. We're going to have to perform an emergency C-section." The OB-GYN on-call takes off her gloves, immediately reaching for her pager. "We're going to get Dr. Lee in here as soon as we can, okay? She's in another delivery right now but she should be here in time to perform it."
Donna stares at her, anxiety overtaking her face. "But they're not ready. I'm not ready. I'm only thirty weeks."
"I know, ma'am." The doctor says kindly. "But we have to get them out right away, soon they won't be receiving any blood flow or oxygen. Trust me, this is their best shot."
Donna swallows, and Toby comes to stand at her head, hand on her shoulder. "Okay. Um, okay, if that's what needs to happen."
"Is this your husband?"
Despite the situation, the doctor's question makes both of them laugh a little. "No. No, we'll need to wait for him to get here."
"Do you want me to call him?" Toby asks, pulling out his phone.
Donna nods, and Toby ducks out of the room.
"We'll try to wait as long as we can, ma'am, but time is a factor here."
"I can't do this without my husband." Donna protests, starting to lose control of her breathing.
"Okay, ma'am, we'll try our best. Either I or Dr. Lee will be back in soon to prep you for surgery, okay?"
"I need Josh." Donna mumbles, distraught. The doctor gives her hand a reassuring squeeze and leaves the room.
Soon thereafter, Toby reenters.
"Is he on his way?" Donna asks, desperation creeping into her voice.
"I got Margaret." Toby says apologetically. "He's in the sit room, she's heading down there now."
"I can't do this without him, Toby." She's becoming panicky. She swipes angrily at her eyes, trying to keep her emotions at bay. "I can't... Do this. I'm not ready, they're not ready. It's not..."
"Shh." Toby says soothingly, pulling a chair close to her head. "It'll be okay. Josh is going to move mountains to get here, you know that."
"And if he doesn't?"
Toby shrugs. "Then, well... You've got me. And I know you can do this."
The tense mood in the situation room is interrupted by Margaret, who has, if possible, an even more intense look on her face. She crosses the room in two strides, and hands Josh a note over his shoulder. To make sure he wastes no time reading it, she hits his shoulder persistently.
Josh opens the note and immediately bolts forward in his seat. Eyes wide, he whips around to look at Margaret. "Is she okay?"
Margaret purses her lips. "We should step outside-"
"Sir." Josh passes the note to the President, already halfway out of his seat. "I have to-"
The President's eyes widen as he reads the note: Donna in hospital. Emergency. "Of course, Josh. Go."
"Thank you." Relieved, Josh practically sprints from the room.
In his absence, the other occupants of the sit room sit forward in anticipation. Finally, the Chairman of the joint chiefs breaks the silence. "Is it Donna?"
After this, half a dozen other operatives, ranging from high ranking military officers to CIA agents, chime in with other questions of concern.
"Is she okay?"
"Is it the twins?"
"How far along is she?"
"She can't be in labor yet, can she?"
"Tell him we're praying for him, won't you, Mr. President?"
At that moment, Matt feels himself struck with emotion. Despite the oftentimes tumultuous relationship Josh had with the military side of the White House, and the perception most in the sit room had of Josh as a naïve, inexperienced young Chief who'd never served, all were ultimately fond of him. They cared about him, and about Donna.
He knew that no one, not even the most vengeful republican in Congress, wanted to see them hurt.
"Hey, Donna." Dr. Lee breezes into the room with a sympathetic smile. "How are we doing? You've been given something for the pain?"
Donna nods, still unsettled.
"Great, well then, let's have us some babies." She claps her hands together. "I know you're nervous, but thirty weeks isn't that early, and I have full confidence that they've got a fighting chance, okay?"
Donna still doesn't look at her, and gives another jerky nod.
Dr. Lee watches her, concerned. She looks around the room to find a man she hasn't met before standing near Donna's bedside. "Where's Josh?"
"On his way." The stranger supplies for her.
Donna starts to tear up again, biting her lip. "Can we please wait for him?"
Dr. Lee breathes out slowly. "We really have to get you prepped now, okay, hon?" She rarely uses terms of endearment with her patients, but she's known Donna a long time, and can't seem to help herself. She hates to see her so upset. "But we'll wait as long as possible before we take you in."
Donna shakes her head. "I'm not ready."
"Okay, but-"
"I can't."
"I know this isn't going how you planned, but-"
At that moment, a panting Josh bursts through the door. Shortly thereafter, two secret service agents also tumble through the open door, panting as well.
"Sir, we've told you not to do that." One of the agents reprimands Josh.
Josh ignores him and glues himself to Donna's bedside, looking at her intently. His presence causes a few tears to fall down her cheeks, but now she's smiling. "What's going on? Are you okay? What's happening?" He looks around wildly. "Dr. Lee? She's okay? The babies?" He squints at an unexpected presence. "Toby?"
"Toby brought me here, hon." Donna explains.
"Okay, that's the question I least cared about the answer to."
"Donna needs to have a C-section." Dr. Lee supplies for him. "As you know, placental abrasion is a common complication for preeclampsia. The babies aren't getting the blood and oxygen they need, and we need to deliver them as soon as possible."
"Okay." Josh nods. "Okay. They're going to be okay?"
"If we do this quickly, yes, I fully believe they will."
"Okay." Josh strips off his suit jacket, knowing he'll need to be in a sterile gown in a minute. "Let's go. I'm here. It's going to be okay, hon."
That makes Donna cry more. Just like Dr. Lee, she rarely hears Josh use terms of endearment. Normally, he uses her full name in place of traditional endearments, in addition to the occasional 'Babe' or a sarcastic 'dear.' She's only heard terms like 'hon,' 'sweetheart,' or 'my love' when she's been sick or injured.
"They're not ready, Josh." She implores him through her tears. "They're too small."
He kneels at her bedside, wiping away her tears and alternately stroking her hair. "Look at me. They're going to be okay, Donnatella. You've done all that you can for them, okay? You've been amazing. And I need you to be amazing for them just one last time, okay?"
She nods, pulling him closer to her to rest his forehead against hers. "Okay."
"I'm here, okay? You're not going anywhere without me. But we've gotta do this now, okay?"
She nods almost imperceptibly. "Okay."
Josh turns to look at Dr. Lee. "Okay. Let's go."
Dr. Lee nods. "Let's go. Nurse Liles, please prep Donna and get Josh in a sterile gown. I'll see you two in the OR."
"What can I do?" Toby asks, feeling helpless watching the action around him. Watching Donna cry had threatened to unravel him, and he feels the desperate need to be useful for her.
"Call my office." Josh tells him. Despite how frazzled Josh may seem on the daily, Toby admires once again how adept he is at handling crises. Toby can tell that he's barely keeping it together, but he's managing to calm Donna and delegate tasks at the same time. It's impressive at work, and it's even more impressive here. "Tell Margaret what's happening. Ask her to send an agent to pick up Noah and Elise."
"Okay." Toby nods.
"Toby! You need to get Toby."
Josh gives Donna a worried look. "Toby's right here, sweetheart."
She rolls her eyes. "The dog. He's in the car, he's going to get overheated."
Toby smiles slightly. "I'll get him."
"Why is the dog in the car?"
"We have bigger things to worry about, Josh."
Josh smiles and presses a kiss to her forehead. "Okay. Let's have some babies, yeah?"
She squeezes his hand. "Yeah."
Less than an hour later, Toby is anxiously pacing the waiting room when Josh emerges. Toby stops and looks at him, and thankfully, he seems to be all smiles.
"Everything's okay? Donna's alright?"
"Donna's great." Josh grins. "And I've, uh, got two more sons."
A strange occurrence for the two of them, Toby pulls Josh into a hug. Josh readily hugs him back, his joy obvious. "Mazel tov."
"They're still in the NICU, and Leo's having a little trouble breathing, but they think he'll be okay to come off the respirator in an hour or so."
Toby's eyes sparkle. "Did you say... Leo?"
"Oh, yeah." Josh runs a hand through his hair. "Donna's idea. Leo Lyman is four pounds, three ounces."
"I love it. That's... He would've loved it."
Josh smiles sadly. "And his brother, Elijah, is four pounds, one ounce."
"Elijah, huh?"
"We decided, actually... His name is Elijah Tobias." Josh gives him a warm look. "After everything you did for us today, hell, in the past ten years..."
"Elijah Tobias." Toby mutters. He tries to hide the emotion choking his voice. "So, you've decided to make just one of your kids Jewish?"
Josh rolls his eyes. "Okay, asshole-"
"I would've thought Donna had tired of naming living things after me, but-"
"It's not too late to change the birth certificate."
Toby smiles. "Thank you, Josh. That's... Thank you."
Josh grins again, and claps him on the shoulder. "If you stick around, I'll come get you when you can see them."
"I'd like that."
Josh starts to retreat back into the neonatal wing. Before he goes back through the doors, he turns and says, "And Eli will need a godfather, you know."
Careful and slow, Josh wheels Donna through the halls of the neonatal wing toward the observation window of the NICU. They had allowed Donna to see and hold the babies briefly while still in surgery, but since then she hasn't seen them. He parks her wheelchair directly in front of the two bassinets with Moss-Lyman scrawled on the end.
"There they are. Leo-" he points to the left, "-and Eli."
Donna reaches over her shoulder to grip Josh's hand, and he readily kneels on the ground beside her. She gazes in rapture at her two infant sons, comforted by the steady rise and fall of each of their chests. "They're so small, Josh."
"Yeah. But they're strong. Just like their mom."
She wipes away her hundredth tear of the day. "I'm sorry. I was trying to be a good mom, I tried to take care of them for as long as I could, and-"
Josh makes a soft shushing sound. "It's not your fault. Don't ever think that, okay? And just look at them. I don't think we could've gone another day without seeing those faces, do you?"
Donna smiles, sniffling. "Josh, is it just me..."
"What?"
"Is Leo... Blonde?"
Josh grins. "He barely has any hair at all, but... Yeah. I think he is."
"Wow."
"You finally got one, Donnatella, how does it feel?"
"It feels good. Is this how you feel?"
"Hey, the other two don't just look like me. They've got some you in there."
"You're the only one who notices that."
"It's true. Elise has your smile, Noah has your nose."
"Do you think they'll have dimples?"
"I couldn't tell you, sweetheart."
She squeezes his hand. "Either way, they're beautiful."
"They are." He agrees. "If we get a divorce, which one do you want?"
She snorts. "Can I hold them again soon?"
"You can hold Eli if you want, but we've gotta wait for Leo to come off the respirator."
"I'll wait." She decides. "We can hold them at the same time. Wouldn't want Leo to feel neglected."
"He's an hour old, Donna."
"Bonding is incredibly important for newborns, Josh. You know that."
"Okay." He placates her.
"Will Noah and Elise be here soon?"
"Larry called, said they would be about fifteen minutes."
"Good."
"He also said Elise was practically bouncing off the walls of the car."
Donna smiles. "This feels... Right, doesn't it? Like we've reached the amount we were supposed to."
"Yeah, I think so. Which reminds me, do you think I can schedule my vasectomy here, or..."
She laughs. "Worth a try. One stop shopping."
"Seriously, though. Four kids. That's really something, you know."
"It is. I can't wait for the little mad house we're about to have."
"I'll try to remind you of that in a couple weeks."
She gently rubs his hand with her thumb. "Oh, I don't doubt it'll be exhausting. But I'll love it. I love having kids with you. I love our family, I love our chaos, I love raising my own little pack of rabid Lymans." She says warmly. "I love you, is what I'm saying. I wouldn't trade us for anything."
"Me either," he says, amused. "Thanks for that, by the way."
"For what?"
"For all of it. I never thought any of this possible, and... It doesn't get any less amazing each time. I know I've said it before, but I just want to thank you for giving me a family, I guess. Thanks for all the rabid Lymans." He says affectionately.
"Say the word, I'll pop out another half dozen."
"Please, don't even joke about that."
Notes:
do I low key regret giving them so many kids? Perhaps. Writing these new chapters it’s been so exhausting having to include all of them lol 😫
but I digress. I had hella baby fever when I wrote this and honestly it’s still kinda cute to me. I hope y’all enjoyed!!
next stop, new content 😎
Chapter 7
Summary:
"I don't understand. This is news somehow?"
CJ rolls her eyes. "Right. This is why I'm the press secretary."
Notes:
OKAY here we go I'm finally getting around to this update - fair warning it is very dumb.
I know I promised the baseball chapter but... this (what I've been calling The Babywearing Thing?) just kinda happened first. Set mid/late season one.
I hope you enjoy! Thank you all for staying invested and continuing to ask for updates :)
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Saturday
Donna answers on the fourth ring, voice groggy. "Hello?"
"Hey," Josh says apologetically, phone pressed between his ear and his shoulder as he buckles Noah's convoluted car seat. "Sorry, I woke you up, didn't I?"
"No," she says defensively. "Okay, maybe. But I really did not intend to fall asleep. I was reading in bed, having tea, and..."
He chuckles. "Hey, I told you to have a relaxing morning. How you spend it is entirely up to you."
He hears her yawn through the phone. "But I don't want to spend it sleeping. I wanted to maximize my relaxation time. You know, efficiency."
"I think that's kind of antithetical to the concept of relaxation, don't you?" He teases, though he knows her well enough by now to know that she likes to schedule everything - even leisure time. They've never shared a Saturday off that wasn't pre-planned to make the most of the day - with time blocks allocated accordingly to brunch, shopping, and some home maintenance thing that has apparently "been on the agenda for months." Of course, he's as adept at derailing their personal schedule as he is at messing up his professional one. He always manages to convince her that the extra hour in bed is a necessary addition.
"Not to me," she says brightly. "Anyway, what's up? Everything okay?"
Since Noah was born, their Saturdays have certainly changed - less long breakfasts and unhurried strolls through baby supply stores, more urgent diaper runs and never-ending laundry - but Donna's adherence to a mental schedule has not. Now, though, she has two people to derail it - and the extra hour in bed is completely off the table more often than not.
On this particular Saturday, Josh is out running errands with Noah in tow, attempting to give his wife a few hours of well-deserved alone time. He had returned from his three month paternity leave a month or so ago, whereas Donna is waiting until at least the sixth month mark to return to work. While she loves being with Noah more than anything, and rarely complains, Josh holds no delusion about which of them currently has the more taxing job. He tries to give her breaks when he can - and of course, he always relishes the opportunity for a little extra quality time with his son.
"Everything's fine," he assures her. "But Leo just called me."
"You're kidding," she sighs. "He wants you to go in?"
"Not to the West Wing. Someone saw Congresswoman Valdez sneak into her office, he wants me to go catch her before she can dodge us again. But it shouldn't take long, I promise I'm not going to let this swallow the day."
"Alright," she relaxes. "Are you coming to drop Noah here before you go?"
"Nah." Having double checked the car seat, he closes the door and settles into the driver's seat. "I'll just bring him with me. I really don't think it'll take more than five minutes, and he's doing fine."
"You're sure?" She asks dubiously.
"Yeah," he says easily, pulling out of the grocery store parking lot. "You've still got a good hour left of relaxation left, if I'm not mistaken."
"I really don't mind."
"Seriously, it's no problem. I was just letting you know we'd be an extra... what, fifteen minutes or so?"
"You don't have the stroller, do you?"
"No, but I've got the carrier thing. He's happier like that, anyway, he dozed off in the store."
"You're going to the Hill... with a baby strapped to your chest?" She asks, her voice a mixture of concern and amusement.
He's still not seeing any flaw with the plan. "Yeah, why not? It's Saturday, hardly anyone will be there. And Valdez is cool - you know, except for how she's been dicking us around this week. She won't care."
"If you say so."
"He's four months old, Donna. Don't you think it's about time he got his first political negotiation under his belt?"
She chuckles. "Alright. But don't be surprised when he's better at it than you are."
"Oh, I won't. I'm counting on it, actually."
"Okay. Have fun."
"We will. Enjoy your nap."
"Shut up," she says fondly.
By the time he finds parking on the Hill and negotiates Noah into his carrier, he barely catches Valdez on the Capitol steps.
"Congresswoman!"
The middle aged woman turns around with a rather beleaguered expression on her face, though she pauses and allows Josh to catch up to her and her detail. "I should've known."
He grins. "You didn't leave me much choice."
"The devil works hard, but Josh Lyman..." she trails off as she notices Noah, her face splitting into a wide smile. "Oh my! You've brought back up."
"I hope you don't mind," he says rather pointlessly, as the Congresswoman is obviously enamored. She cranes her neck to see Noah's face. "I was out running errands, and..."
"He's adorable," Valdez enthuses as Josh angles himself so she can get a better look at the baby, who is hovering on the boundary of sleep and wakefulness. "He looks just like you."
"People keep saying that," Josh confirms, although personally he can see the traces of Donna. At four months, he's just starting to develop real features, rather than the typical infant ones they affectionately referred to as his "turnip phase." "My wife isn't so pleased about that, considering, you know, she made him."
The Congresswoman laughs. "I feel her pain. All three of mine came out looking just like their father. It's only now that people have started saying my daughters look like me, and they're in high school."
"Apparently it's a biological thing. Or so Donna says. Babies look like their fathers when they're born, so that-"
"So that the dads know they're theirs, and don't try to kill them," Valdez finishes cheerfully. "She's right."
Josh looks at her, amused. "She usually is. Anyway, Congresswoman..."
The meeting does last a little longer than five minutes, mostly because the Congresswoman is so reluctant to leave the baby. Josh has a feeling that Noah's presence helps secure her vote on the trade bill, though Josh's assurance that he'll be able to tack her pet project - river cleanup in her district - onto the coming appropriations bill doesn't hurt either.
"I'm awake!" Donna calls pointedly when she hears the front door close later that morning. "How was the meeting?"
Josh appears in their doorway a few moments later, smirking as he offers a bouquet of flowers.
"For me?" She smiles, sitting up in bed to accept them. "What for?"
"For giving birth to the best political manipulator this world has ever seen. Also, because I like you."
She laughs. "It went that well, huh?"
"He's a natural."
Monday
Come Monday morning, CJ is determinedly hunting around the White House for the Deputy Chief of Staff. She tries his office first, which is empty - as is his assistant's desk. He's not in Communications, he's not in the Roosevelt room. She starts to get increasingly irritated as she makes another lap around. Finally, she bumps into his assistant, Addie, in the hallway.
"Have you seen him?"
"I think he went down to the mess with Sam." Addie frowns as she checks her watch. "But if you see him, remind him he has a conference call... Well, right now, actually."
"Right." CJ marches down to the mess, and finds Josh emerging with a cup of coffee in hand. She immediately grabs him by the arm. "You!"
Josh looks startled, switching his coffee to the other hand to avoid spilling it. "Um, yes, me?"
"I need to talk to you."
"Okay. About something totally normal and not worrying, right? Just guessing based on your facial expression."
She tightens her grip on his arm, marching him toward the stairs. "Very funny. You're late to a conference call."
He glances at his watch. "No I'm not. That's what you wanted to talk to me about?"
"Your watch is broken. And no, but I'm saying, you're late to your conference call, so I need you to tell me in the next thirty seconds about the picture."
He frowns, nonplussed. "What picture?"
CJ groans. "I was afraid you'd say that."
"Seriously, what picture?"
"I don't know!" She bursts out irritably. "All I know is that Kris mentioned after the briefing today that there's some photo of you going around. I don't know what it is, I don't know where it is, but apparently it might be a thing."
Josh shrugs helplessly. "That doesn't help me much."
"I'm asking what the hell you did this weekend, Josh."
"I didn't do anything!" He says defensively.
"You did something."
"I, um, went grocery shopping?"
"Actually, I guess it could be from any time," CJ mutters to herself. "Quick. Off the top of you're head, what's the most incriminating thing you've ever done?"
He raises his eyebrows. "You really want to know that?"
She makes a face. "Gross."
They reach the bullpen, and Addie hastily shepherds them into his office. "Line two. I told them you were in the Oval."
"Got it." He sends CJ a grin. "Anyway, I don't think anyone has any photos of me smoking out of that potato."
"That's a relief," she says sarcastically.
"Though, I can't say for sure. I was pretty high at the time." He picks up the phone on his desk, ignoring CJ's furious expression. "Josh Lyman."
CJ carries on in a fierce whisper, "This isn't funny, Josh! I cannot afford another senior staff screw up. Between you and Sam, the damage control I've had to do... And then Toby with the internet stock..."
Josh covers the receiver with one hand. "I'd love to help you out, CJ, but I don't know what the hell you're talking about."
She glares at him. "I know you've done something. I don't know what, but I know you've done something."
"I'm sure you're right."
At that moment, Carol swings into the office, waving a piece of paper. "I've got it!"
"Bless you," CJ murmurs gratefully, snatching the page from her.
"It's gaining traction online, some beltway blog had it."
"Oh, it's..." CJ practically collapses in relief, rubbing her forehead as she looks at the image. "Oh."
"What?" Josh leans forward, reaching out a hand for the paper. CJ passes it to him with a grin.
"You may have actually done something good this time, idiot boy."
Josh squints at the image. He's surprised to find it's of his brief meeting with Congresswoman Valdez on the steps on Saturday. He hadn't noticed anyone taking photos. He's obviously the focus of the image, and he does admittedly look a little out of place - in his jeans, sweatshirt, and baby carrier while the Congresswoman and her Secret Service agents all sport suits. He's cradling Noah's head with one hand and gesturing with the other, clearly mid-sentence.
"I don't understand. This is news somehow?"
CJ rolls her eyes. "Right. This is why I'm the press secretary."
By noon, the image has spread from the internet to daytime cable. The reaction is overall positive - apparently the image of him dealing with Congress while wearing a baby is particularly endearing for some reason, though Josh is still befuddled as to why. At lunch, CJ pulls him into her office to watch a couple of local anchors gush over the photo.
"It's just so cute!" One enthuses to the other over a mug of coffee.
"Right? How often do we see someone in politics with their own kid - not holding some random baby for a photo op?"
Josh furrows his brow at the screen. "Some people really have too much time on their hands."
"We can use this," CJ tells him. "I'm still figuring out how, but we can."
"I don't want to use this."
"It's already got people's attention, Josh. We might as well capitalize on it. It makes us look... I don't know, what's the word?"
"Human?" He suggests.
"Bingo." CJ snaps her fingers. "I know. We'll tie it to family leave somehow, the First Lady's office is doing something with that right now."
"I don't think that's a good idea."
"Why not?"
"Because I'm not on leave anymore. It's going to be spun into poor work boundaries or something, like the Bartlet administration is so demanding that I have to bring my kid to work."
"No, listen. The angle we're going to hit is 'we know how hard it is on working parents, we want to make it easier.' Trust me, people will eat it up."
"Not to mention that I'm not that into the idea of politicizing my son to begin with."
"Not even for a good cause?"
"CJ."
CJ sighs. "Okay. Though I really don't think one morning show appearance would hurt. We'd really be politicizing you, you know, not Noah."
Josh offers a begrudging smile. "Okay, but... When have you ever wanted me to get in front of the camera?"
She tilts her head, obviously recalling his last briefing. "Good point."
"Yeah."
"Alright. We'll see how it plays for now."
"You were starting to worry me, CJ. You sounded like Mandy for a minute."
She frowns, not enjoying the comparison. "We could use a win, is all."
"Not this kind."
"Fine. And you should avoid Mandy, she's definitely going to try to book you on a morning show. And possibly organize a family photo shoot."
He cringes. "Right."
Despite his resolve to let the photo craze die down without any interference, Josh inadvertently gets roped into it again. He's cutting through the lobby mid-afternoon when someone calls out to him.
"Josh!"
"Hm?" He turns around, realizing too late that it's a reporter. Well, "reporter" in the loose sense of the word - he isn't even sure how her magazine (something Digest, maybe...?) managed to score credentials.
"Just the man I wanted to see." The reporter - Sarah, he thinks - descends on him. "That photo of you is everywhere! Can you tell me how exactly you ended up on the Hill with your son? Do you take him often, or just when you're stuck with babysitting duty?" She laughs.
He narrows his eyes. He knows he shouldn't respond, but she couldn't have asked a stupider question. "I don't think it's called babysitting if it's your own kid, actually. It's just called parenting. Fathers are parents too, you know - or at least, they should be. Let's quit praising the bare minimum, yeah?"
He knows in that moment that he's really done it. Because that's when the story truly takes off.
Josh saunters into the house that evening, and immediately goes in search of his wife and son. He finds them in the nursery, where Donna is feeding Noah.
"Well if it isn't the man of the hour," Donna greets, her eyes gleaming.
He rolls his eyes, dropping a kiss on top of her head before crouching beside her rocking chair, gazing warmly at his son. "I'll take it you've seen the photo."
"And the quote. Carol sent me a nice selection of articles earlier today."
"Always knew I didn't like that woman," he mutters, running a hand over her arm. "I didn't really mean for it to happen."
"You never do."
"Yeah, well."
"It is a cute photo of you, you know."
He brightens at this. "You think so?"
"Though I'm sure you're ego doesn't need any extra stroking. I'll bet your little fan club is having a field day with this one."
"They are," he confirms. "And they've gotten a hold of my fax number again, even though I changed it. They're getting quite creative. Have you heard of a dilf?"
"Have I...?" She nearly chokes on a laugh. "Of course I have."
"Well, I hadn't until today. CJ had the unfortunate task of explaining it to me."
Donna tries to suppress her laughter, not wanting to disturb Noah. "I think it's great how you're continuing to learn new words, even at your advanced age."
He grins impishly. "Don't you worry, Donnatella. They've got a word for you too."
"Oh, I'm well aware."
He presses another kiss to her cheek. "Have you eaten yet?"
"No, I was waiting for you."
He stands, making his way to the door. "Leftovers okay? I'll start the oven."
"Yeah. I'll just be a minute, I think he's ready for me to put him down."
"Okay," he says, though evidently she's not quite done with the conversation.
"I just think it's funny," she calls as he reaches the doorway, causing him to pause, "that you're the one being lauded as this amazing parent, when I'm the one taking care of him, you know, every day."
Her tone is teasing, but her words make Josh frown with guilt. "I know. I know it's backward, and I'm sorry. CJ and Mandy were trying to convince me to get on a morning show, and I said no, but if you want I could go on and explain that-"
"Josh," she interrupts, amused. She stands as well, slowly walking to the crib with the drowsy baby in her arms. "I was just kidding."
"I know, but-"
"You are an amazing dad. That part isn't a lie, so it doesn't bother me a bit that everyone else is saying it too."
"Well, they should know I've got nothing on you."
She shakes her head. "I actually prefer the press knows, and says, as little about me as possible."
"I know. That's why I said no to the interviews."
"I appreciate it," she says. "But just so you know - I do think it's okay to enjoy your fifteen minutes."
He shrugs. "I'm not really interested."
"I'm just saying."
"Yeah." He sidles up behind her, snaking his arms around her waist once she's put Noah down. "Besides, they don't want me on the morning shows. All I'll do is talk about what an amazing, perfect wife I have. And how if I'm a good dad, you're mother of the year. Which I think you are regardless, actually."
She grins, leaning into him. "You're right. That doesn't make for very good television."
"And I'll be sure to mention what a milf you are," he adds.
She giggles. "I take it back. I hate it when you learn new words."
"Really?"
"No," she admits. "But we're not doing this right now. I'm starving."
"Right." He draws back, heading into the kitchen. "Can I take that to mean that we're doing this later?"
"Take it however you'd like."
Tuesday
While Josh may not want to comment on the whole photo situation, Mary Marsh apparently does not share the same reservation. During her own morning show appearance on Tuesday, the host inevitably brings up the photo, and Mary doesn't hold back with her response.
"I just think there's something to be said for professionalism - though maybe I'm alone in that these days! I definitely know that the Bartlet administration doesn't share my beliefs, as they've shown nothing but a lack of professionalism since taking office. I don't know if I've ever seen a more undisciplined White House."
And he knows he shouldn't say anything, that he shouldn't let himself get bogged down in another fifteen rounds with Mary Marsh. It hadn't gone in his favor the last time.
But when Katie tracks him down that afternoon, and asks, "So how did you feel about Mary Marsh calling you unprofessional on Wake Up this morning?"
He can't help but answer, "I was surprised, to be honest. I thought family values were her whole thing."
"Donna's on line one," Addie informs Josh with a smirk as he returns from his senior staff meeting.
"Don't start," Josh warns, stepping into his office to take the call. He reappears at the doorframe a moment later, sheepish. "How'd she, uh... How'd she sound?"
"Find out for yourself."
"Right," he mutters, closing the door behind him. He braces himself before picking up the phone. "Hello, dearest."
"Don't 'dearest' me. Am I suffering from deja vu, or are you actually picking a fight with Mary Marsh again?"
He winces. "Uh."
"Not even a few months after your last fight almost ended in your unemployment?"
"Yes, that's um. That's right."
She holds out another few seconds before dissolving into laughter. "Oh, Joshua."
He listens in confusion as she continues to laugh. "You're laughing."
"Yes."
"You're not mad at me?" He attempts to confirm.
Her laughter slowly subsides, though he can still hear the amusement in her voice. "Not at this present moment, no."
"You don't think I was being an impulsive idiot?"
"Oh, you definitely were. But I guess the law of averages must finally be working for you, because your off-the-cuff comment to a reporter was actually not too bad this time. It might've even been good."
"Really?" It has been an hour or so since the quote went out, and neither Toby nor CJ has yet to come berate him, so maybe she's onto something. "I mean, it definitely felt good in the moment."
"All the reactions have been pretty positive, so far. Except for, you know, the people we were never going to impress to begin with. I'm watching them talk about it on some panel right now."
Josh smiles slightly. "Donna, did you call... to tell me you're proud of me?"
"Proud is a strong word," she says warningly. "But... the quote was pretty clever."
Wednesday
Arriving back at the West Wing after a slew of meetings on the Hill, Josh is beyond surprised to find his wife and son waiting for him in his office. He breaks out in a huge grin, excited as though he hadn't just seen them both that morning.
"What are you doing here?" He pulls Donna into a hug.
She mirrors his smile, endeared by his enthusiastic reaction. "We came to surprise you for lunch. Surprise!"
"I'm not sure I have a lunch break," he says apologetically, dropping onto one knee beside Noah's stroller. The baby lights up at the sight of him, squirming and extending his hands. Josh immediately pulls him out into his arms, kissing the top of his head as he stands up.
"Addie said she could rearrange a few things."
"Well, I won't question it then," he says happily, bouncing Noah slightly. "Hey, he's all dressed up."
"He's not all dressed up. He's just wearing pants over his onesie today," Donna says defensively.
"That's pretty dressed up for him," Josh asserts, still examining Noah's attire. "And shoes. You put shoes on him."
"We're at the White House."
"Yeah, but he's not gonna like, start walking around, is he?"
"We got all those cute little baby shoes at the shower, Josh. He has to wear them sometime."
Josh shrugs. "Sure, I guess. Anyway, are we eating here, or..."
CJ appears in the doorway. "Alright. Game time."
Donna turns to face her slowly, reluctantly. "CJ, I actually hadn't had the chance to-"
"CJ, you don't seem surprised to see Donna here," Josh says, noticing CJ's demeanor.
Her eyes widen. "I, um, already saw her?"
Donna sighs, rubbing her temples. "Okay. This is not ideal, but-"
"What's not ideal?" Josh prods, by now having gleaned that his wife is definitely up to something.
She stalls, putting on a dazzling grin. "Well, here's the thing. It's a funny story, actually. Because I was already going to come in to surprise you for lunch. Was totally going to do that anyway. Obviously. Because I love you and value our time together."
"Donna," Josh says flatly.
"But then I just happened to talk with CJ earlier today, and she just happened to mention a few spare minutes in the President's schedule, and a photographer who could leak-"
"You called her," Josh interrupts, directing this at CJ. "You called her, and turned my own wife against me."
"Well, hold on-"
"I called her," Donna admits. "I called her, and asked if she thought it would be worth trying to capitalize on the story one more time."
"You traitor!" He cries, though without his usual volume, as he still has his son in his arms. "You traitor, you're - you-re-"
Donna holds up her hands placatingly. "I'm trying to do something good for the administration?"
"You're working!" He accuses. "All this time you've painted me as the workaholic, it's been you all along! My god, I should've known. Let it be known, let it forever be enshrined, that my wife-"
Donna simply rolls her eyes at his dramatics. "Could you avoid getting quite so flustered? You're about to have your picture taken."
"I most certainly am not. Isn't that right, Noah? The world has had enough of us," Josh informs his son, who is by now drooling on his shirt.
"I know I have," CJ mutters.
"Your mom may be wrapped up in image politics, but you and I, we're men of principle. We won't be swayed by the public practically begging for more of us, or-"
"Is he coming, or what?" Mandy appears in the doorway, her temper seeming to be even shorter than usual as she checks her watch. "We've got two minutes and counting before The President's in that two-hour session with the Joint Chiefs."
Josh gapes at the three of them. "Ambushed! I'm being ambushed."
Sam rounds the corner as well. "I told you guys he'd make this into a thing. Let's just do Noah and the President, he doesn't need to be in it."
"He's part of the whole thing, the working family-"
"I'm just the last person to know everything, huh?"
Donna waves her hands, only somewhat managing to quiet the din in the office - which is starting to feel rather cramped. "Would it help if I said something about how hot you are?"
"No," Josh says irritably, though he's clearly lying. "Possibly."
Mandy barks, "Ninety seconds."
"Fine," Josh breathes out, realizing he's dying on this hill for no particular reason other than to spite his wife. Which he's quite capable of doing in other ways. "Fine, on one condition."
"What?" CJ demands. "Start walking."
The group starts falteringly on their path to the Oval - Donna fretting and wiping Noah's face, Sam attempting to straighten Josh's tie.
"I want Donna in them too," Josh says smugly, turning his head to smirk at her and effectively undoing all of Sam's work.
She gapes at him. "You're..."
"Dead serious. I simply won't do them without my darling, traitorous wife in every single shot with me."
"That's actually not a bad idea," CJ inputs.
"I'm not dressed!" Donna splutters, looking down at her oversized maternity dress. She had at least managed to put on one without spit up on it for the occasion, thankfully.
"You look great," Josh says breezily. "And what's a wholesome family photo op without my Midwestern wife and her so-called farm girl looks?"
Donna sends him an absolutely murderous look. "I hate you."
Charlie knocks on the door to the Oval upon seeing them, and leads them inside after a nod from the President.
"You might want to change your tune for the photo," Josh quips back in a singsong voice.
By day's end, the photo - of the President cradling Noah, cooing at him affectionately (none of which is staged) as his parents look on - is spreading through the media like wildfire. Most are enamored by the photo, though the few people who were present in the moments leading up to its capture notice one particular detail that evades the public eye: though her smile betrays nothing, Donna's grip on her husband's arm is completely vice-like.
"You were cutting off my circulation," Josh complains for possibly the tenth time as he looks again at the photo, a week later.
"Which I maintain was ultimately your fault."
"Can't see how," he mutters as he carefully slides the photo into its frame, where it will then join the already sizable ranks of family pictures on his desk. She would tease him for being a sap, but the one of him wearing their baby on the Capitol steps has already claimed a prominent spot on her own desk - ready to greet her when she does return to work.
Notes:
can't believe I typed the word milf into this story with my own god-fearing hands /:
HOPEFULLY more will arrive in this AU soon though I will admit I'm in more of an angst mode than a fluff one lately. Are we okay with angst in this fic? let me know
and let me know what you thought of this chapter :)) I am aware that it was dumb and I embrace it, I hope you all enjoyed!

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