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"Marinette... I'm... I'm really flattered. Really. You're an amazing girl. But..."
It's only the two of them on the stairs of Collège Françoise Dupont. Punctured little chuckles hiccup between Adrien's words. But his hand is at the back of his neck. It's a fight for his eyes, downturned as they are, to stay trained on hers. But it's too late. The adrenaline, the hope, the fear, and the dread. It all calcifies in the very pits of Marinette's stomach.
"It's okay," she whispers. No louder than a mere breath. Not loud enough to stop him.
"I'm in love with," he stammers again, swallowing. "Someone else." Finally, he makes eye contact, something in his gaze breaking on impact. Maybe a reflection of her heart. "I'm so sorry, Marinette. I—"
"It's okay!"
Her voice wobbles. She says it too loudly, too harshly. Pain streaks pale across her knuckles at the books at her chest. Adrien's sneakers grow blurrier in her vision. When her throat sours, it's like a cotton ball threads itself at its base, sucking out all the moisture when she swallows.
"It's... It's okay," she says finally, the third time. "The person you love is...is really lucky." When she smiles at him, her eyes are closed, her lips sealed tight. But she's smiling at him. "I didn't want... Well, I didn't mean for...anything to...change! Between us! So, just...forget I said anything."
"Marinette..."
When she cracks her eyes open, she sees Adrien's searching hers desperately. Sees the pity soaked in his face. And a magma-hot shame glows, gnaws at Marinette's gut. Her face burns and burns from the neck up. It's all she can do just to turn away.
"Well! Lots of—lots of homework we need to do, for tomorrow!" she sputters, her giggle alien to her lips. Her eyes sting. They keep smarting, but she can't blink. Not now, when it's too warm, when the air is a little too thick, when she breathes in. "I'll—I'll see you, Adrien."
Before she can hear anything else, she bolts off. Before Adrien can reach her, with his arm outstretched. When his feet are pinned his place, when he can do nothing but stare at where Marinette runs, his palm meets his forehead. Then his knuckles start bumping it, again, again, as he groans.
"Stupid, stupid, stupid..."
"I'd leave your head alone, if I were you," Plagg chimes from within his shirt. "You'll need what's left of it after that."
"Plagg," he hisses, shooting a glare at his own chest. "Not right now!"
"Hey, if it's any consolation, you did the best you could," he continues, if a bit nonchalant, still. "You are in love with Ladybug, after all."
"I know. I know, but..." Worrying his lip, Adrien can't let go of his bag strap, of the weight dragging down his chest. "I still feel awful."
"Don't you have that patrol with her coming up? You know, the one where you'll get to find out each other's secret identities? You were oh-so excited about that..."
Plagg drags out the words in his reminder, like trying to get a baby's attention with a shiny new toy. When the frown on Adrien's face stays set, it doesn't faze him much.
"Still," he sighs, watching as Gorilla comes into view with the car home. "It won't change how I hurt Marinette."
"Yeah," Plagg drawls. "I wonder."
He doesn't see Adrien's last, stern squint at him, but he doesn't have to. He just lays in his inner jacket pocket more comfortably, smirking a little at how the day will unfold, when he's such a fan of witnessing pure disaster.
The bin is full with empty ice-cream tubs. So balled-up tissues scatter across Marinette's bedroom floor. Another one joins the fray, landing with a papery, lame thud with another sniffle.
"I should've never told him," she hiccups hoarsely. "I'm so, so stupid..."
The kwamis soothe her—some hugging her, some hovering nearby—as she quivers, curling up tighter. Tikki is by her cheek, stroking it lightly as she watches.
"You aren't stupid, Marinette. It was incredibly brave of you," Tikki whispers.
"Yeah! He has no idea how amazing you are!" Roaar says, punching at the air. "If anything, Adrien's the stupid one!"
"—No, he's not!" Marinette shoots up, scattering the kwamis, a fire in her swollen eyes. "Adrien is not stupid. He's wonderful! He just... He just..." The air trembles again, when she takes in a breath. "Doesn't love me..."
Her lip is bitten red, and the heel of her palms go warm and wet, pressing into her eyes when she leans over. Roaar, for once, looks sheepish, seeking the other kwamis. But the others look just as lost. When they look to Tikki, she just shakes her head a little, shrugging helplessly.
"Marinette..." Tikki says, as gentle as a feather. "You're meant to go see Chat Noir in a moment, remember?"
"Oh, no..." she moans, tossing back onto her chaise longue again. "I completely forgot about that..."
There's a moment of silence. The kwamis glance at each other once more. Tikki doesn't pause for a beat, stroking Marinette's cheek.
"Shall we get ready to go, then?" she suggests. "It might help take your mind off things, for a bit."
"I don't know if anything can," she admits, her voice hollow. "But it'd be better than crying my eyes out for...what?" Frowning, she rubs at her temple. "Four more hours?"
"It was clever to make an improved Magical Charm for yourself," Sass notes.
"I had to be prepared for any possibility, didn't I?" Her smile, if a bit dry, is genuine. "Besides... I'm still Ladybug," she says as she gets to her feet. "Paris needs me. And so does Chat."
"Indeed," Sass says, nodding. "You're stronger than you give yourself credit for, Marinette."
"I completely agree," Tikki chimes, smiling when she goes to hover next to him. "And who knows? Maybe seeing Chat Noir will cheer you up."
"Maybe," Marinette echoes, a smile flickering on her face. "Besides, I'll need something to get me through to school tomorrow. I don't know how I'll be able to stand being around Adrien."
"Why..." Tikki blinks, hesitant, "do you say that?"
"Because he rejected me? And, well...if it hurts just to think about him, and just seeing posters of him, then..." She bites on her lower lip. "I don't know how much worse it'll get when I see him in person."
The kwamis say nothing. Tikki gulps. Yet, wiping her eyes, checking her reflection in the mirror, Marinette doesn't seem to expect anything more as she goes through the motions.
"Well... Here goes." With a long, steadying breath, she looks to the kwamis with a warm, if weak smile. "Spots on, Tikki."
"Well, Adrien? How're you feeling?"
Plagg hovers every which way over his holder as he lays spread-eagle in bed, staring listlessly at the high ceiling. Chopin's Nocturne in B minor plays on the speaker by the piano as he sighs chest-deep again.
"Awful, Plagg. Marinette still hasn't responded to my messages." When he checks his phone, his messages still not even seen, his arm flops back onto his comforter with a sigh. "I really messed up."
"You know, I'd think it's real sweet you're still worried about her if it wasn't the billionth time you said something along those lines."
"You asked me how I felt," Adrien grouses, sitting up. "What did you want me to say?"
"What I meant was about your meeting with Ladybug. You know? Today?" Plagg says, sounding expectant. "About time for you to transform and check your messages, isn't it?"
"What? Oh, right." He has to prop himself up on his arms when he sits up, sighing again. "That is today."
"What's the matter there?" Plagg asks, his tone a little too light to show the weight of real concern. "Thought you'd be tripping all over yourself to find out who the love of your life really is."
"Yeah, well, it's a bit different when I hurt one of the sweetest people I've ever known." Even as the words come out dry, his face pinches in regret. Then sinks into his hands again. "Ugh... I never wanted to hurt her. What if she never talks to me again?"
"Well, that'd be up to her, wouldn't it? Besides," Plagg says mildly as he does a backstroke in the air. "You've turned down plenty of girls before."
"None of them were Marinette, Plagg," he says firmly, a hardness to his tone. "She's different. She's... She's so kind, creative, and amazing. I care about her a lot."
"As a friend," Plagg states, raising a brow. "Right?"
"Well. Yeah," Adrien says, like it's obvious, halting as it is. "And I hurt her. Ugh, I hurt her, Plagg." His face meets his hands again. "I feel like a monster."
"You know, I really think," he offers with a roll of his eyes, "that you'd feel a lot better seeing Ladybug. Just my two cents."
"Well... I usually do, yeah."
"Yeah, you do!" Plagg grins. "C'mon, what's say you and I go out on the town and find out the one thing you've been dying to know all this time, huh?"
"That's a good idea. I've been feeling down all day now, and it'll be nice to see Ladybug again." Getting to his feet, Adrien gives him a little smile. "Thanks, Plagg. For trying so hard to cheer me up."
"Yup. That's exactly what I'm trying so hard to do."
"Plagg?"
"Hm? What? C'mon, the day's not getting any younger here! Let's get going!"
The air is mildly pungent in one of the sewer channels running beneath Paris where Chat Noir finds Ladybug waiting.
"Always have a knack for setting the scene, don't you, milady?" he offers. When she stays silent, though, his smile shrivels a touch. "Ladybug?"
"Hm? Oh, Chat. You're here." Leaning her weight off the wall again, she faces him more fully, a smile threading onto her lips. "I didn't notice. Sorry."
"Well, you know what they say. Black cats and their natural-born stealth," he says, uneven in the delivery, with the wary glance he gives her. "Are...you okay?"
"Well..." she sags, sighing. "You want the pretty answer? Or the honest answer?"
"I tend to go with the best policy, on these sorts of things," he shrugs, his smile encouraging.
"Alright, then." Ladybug looks aside. "I'm not okay."
"...Oh." Chat Noir blinks. "I'm...really sorry about that." Rubbing at his neck, his ears end up drooping. "Is there anything I can do to help?"
"I don't know about that, kitty," she says drily, her smile still brittle. "I'll manage somehow. You must be excited, though," she says, switching tacks, grinning wider with her arms still crossed. "You've wanted us to know each other's identities for a while."
"I... I mean, I do. I have. I just..." Clearing his throat, Chat Noir can't help his sigh. "I guess I haven't been feeling too good myself lately, either."
"Oh... Um." Ladybug chews on her lip, her fingers fluttering in a clench on her arm. "I'm really sorry about that, Chat."
"It's fine," he says, hands up to soothe the tension. "I'll figure something out."
"Hey, maybe I can lend you a hand after we...well. Take this step."
"Yeah." Looking at her warm gaze, the smile blooming on Chat Noir's face grows even more real. "I'd like that."
They talk about it briefly. They'll close their eyes before de-transforming. Then, on the count of three, they'll open them at the same time. So, they first close their eyes.
"Spots off."
"Claws in."
In a flash that makes the back of their eyelids pulse pink, they each take in a breath. Their kwamis stay quiet next to them. Hearts thudding in their ears, they count together to three.
On three, they open their eyes.
And when Marinette stands staring at Adrien, and Adrien stares at her back, not a single word is spoken. As the sewer water drips, distant in the background, their mouths hang open without a sound.
"...You know, I think I speak for all of us when I say," Plagg interrupts, his little mitts tucked behind his head like he's sunbathing. "Finally."
"Plagg!" Tikki chides. "This is their moment!"
"Sugarcube, if you know me after all the millennia we've been through, don't think for a second I'm not going to milk said moment for everything it's worth."
But nothing quite happens during their exchange between their holders. Silence seals itself tightly in the air again. Plagg, noticing this, glances aside. Tries waving a mitt in front of Adrien's eyes to no avail. Tikki, biting her lip, just looks between him and Marinette nervously. Then, Tikki notices—she's trembling.
"Marinette..."
Adrien breaks the silence with her name. It's as delicate as gossamer when he utters it. And it makes Marinette flinch to the core.
In a hitch of her breath, she realises the look on his face. Even in the dim sewer canals, his eyes shine with pity. Acid spikes in her stomach, hurtling on a rolling boil.
"—Tikki!" she blurts out. "Spots on!"
"Wha—" Adrien blinks. And a blink is all it takes for her super-suit to come back. In a zip of her yo-yo, she shoots off at lightning speeds—his heart starts hammering again.
"Huh." Plagg pouts. "Déjà vu."
"Mari—Ladybug! Come back! Plagg!" He whirls on his kwami, fire burning in his eyes. "Claws out!"
Sunset pours bright orange over Paris's arrondissements.
Marinette's never known what it's like to be tired as Ladybug. Not truly, like when she is without her powers—she could sprint to the ends of the Earth as Ladybug and not break a sweat, if she had to.
Now, racing over Paris's rooftops, she's hyperventilating.
"Ladybug!" Chat—Adrien—calls out to her, no more than a super-powered arm's throw away. "Ladybug, wait!"
She can barely hear him with the heat pulsing in her ears. A stinging warmth wells in her eyes again as she keeps running.
"Go away!" she snaps, the words scratching out of her throat. "Just leave me alone...!"
"Please, wait!" he shouts again. "I just wanna talk to you...!"
"Well, I don't!"
"Ladybug, please...!"
Frustration takes a hold of her. Stopping on a dime, gritting her teeth, she throws out her yo-yo, creating a three-storey-high net with the string between her and Adrien.
What she doesn't account for is him vaulting himself straight through one of the holes in the net, landing behind her. Freezing up, she tugs uselessly on her yo-yo.
But by the time the string retracts, his hand is on her shoulder.
"I know this might sound selfish," he starts. "But I'm not letting you go after what I did to you. Not again."
Even as he speaks, Marinette doesn't dare turn around. Not even as his grip tightens a shade firmer on her shoulder.
"Marinette," he murmurs. The sound of her name, when she's dressed as she is now, sends a traitorous shiver up her spine. "Please look at me."
There's a beat of silence. It stretches like taffy, as neither of them move. But she, eventually, gradually, turns around. Her gaze stays glued to the rooftop they're on. The brown rooftop tiles arranged like fish scales, Chat Noir's boots—Adrien's boots—are all that meet her eye.
"When I said I was in love with someone else... You know that was you," Adrien says, utterly warm and quiet. "Right?"
"It's not the same."
She mutters the words under her breath. Barely audible as it is, they send his eyes ballooning.
"What do you mean?" Confusion robs his voice of volume. "You're...You are Ladybug."
Regardless, she shakes her head. "It's not the same," she repeats. "You said you were in love with someone else. And that was—that is true. You're in love with Ladybug. Not Marinette. Not me." She chews her lip. "Not the real me."
"That's not..." Shaking his head, Adrien steels himself, placing his hands on her shoulders. "Marinette. Do you still love me?"
"Wh—" Her cheeks colour, her lips part when she looks up. As warm as his chest grows at the sight, Adrien keeps looking at her firmly. "I— I mean, I still—I told you that as Adrien, but—"
"And do you still mean it?" he asks again. "Do you still love me, as Adrien?"
"I—" Biting her lip, her voice quavers. "You can't just ask me that..."
"Because I still love you," he says. As straight as true as an arrow, as she gazes up at him with wide eyes. "And I might have started loving you as Ladybug. And all I want to do is know you as Marinette, and love even more of you."
"I— That's not fair...!" she says, weak as it is, with her frown. "Do you know what it's even like? Finding out you're...that you're you?"
"Tell me," Adrien murmurs, his green eyes soft and piercing, all at once. "I want to know."
"It's—" she stammers, her blush growing fiercer. "I don't even know what I'm feeling! I thought I knew everything I could about Adrien, but—but if you're him, then that means I didn't know a thing about him at all!" she cries, tears welling up behind her mask. "I don't even know if I really love you the way you deserve!"
"What do you think I deserve, then?" he asks, a smile possessing his whisper.
"You deserve someone who sees how funny and wonderful you are and loves that part of you! Not—not some—not some perfect image you show to the world. Because I know Chat Noir, and he couldn't be any more different from Adrien! And I kept rejecting you because I thought Adrien was just so much lovelier, and now I feel awful!" A sob tints her voice, taps on her shoulders as they shake, as she covers her eyes. "I just—all this time, I... I feel so blind. You deserve the world, and I just made you so upset, I rejected you so many times, because I could never see you more as just my kitty, and I couldn't be there for you, and—and...!"
"Marinette," he mumbles, strained as he swallows. "Can I please give you a hug?"
"Wh-...?" Blinking, she looks up at him. "You want to hug me?"
"Honestly, what I really want is to kiss you," he sighs, sucking on his inner cheek, "but I'd like any kiss we might have to happen when you're not as upset."
"I—!" A blush bursts onto her cheeks. "Chat—! Wait—" She shakes her head fast. "I mean—"
"You can say no," he reminds gently. "I won't force you."
Marinette's mouth clamps shut. Dimples dot her chin, when she looks to him. Then, without a word, cuddles up to his chest. And lets his arms wrap around her back. The sunset glows a roaring red over the cityscape.
"...You know. Knowing it's you," Adrien says, teasing apart the silence, "it feels so obvious, now."
"I... I don't know if I can say the same." Marinette mumbles, voice tucked in the crook of his neck. "For myself."
"I felt awful all day, you know? I can only imagine how you must have felt." he continues, hugging her tighter. "I'm so sorry."
"You don't owe me an apology," she sighs. "It's not like you have to love me. As...Marinette."
"But I want to."
"That's not how it works, kitty. I mean—" Blinking a little, she shakes her head. "Yeah, no. Kitty."
"Marinette, rejecting you was the single dumbest thing I've ever done in my whole life."
"Stop it," she insisted, hiding her face in his chest. "You're just saying that 'cause you know who I am, now."
"No, I'm not kidding. Even before I knew, I felt terrible." Pulling away, he made sure she could see his face, with his hands still on her shoulders. "I wasn't even excited about knowing who Ladybug was when we met up today."
"You..." Blinking, she can only stare slack-jawed at him. "You're serious...?"
"I never want to hurt you, Marinette. I care about you."
"I... I know you're not lying, but... I don't know that for sure," she says, trembling, her sincerity going on auto-pilot. "It...still hurts, if I'm honest."
"Then let me show you I'm not lying." Shifting his hands, they come to clasp hers gently, bringing them up to a ball between their hearts. "I want to show you how much I care for you, if you'll still let me."
"What—" Glancing to their hands, she has to grit her teeth when she stumbles on her words. "How do you think you'll do that?"
"I want to get to know you, out of the super-suits. We can even keep it professional when we're in them. I just want to spend time with you. As Marinette and Adrien."
"Like... As in a date?"
"I was thinking more like dates, plural, really."
Sure enough, for the first time that day, that Cheshire, Chat-like confidence snakes onto his lips. Knowing it's Adrien doing that with her, about her, Marinette can't help the deep throb of her heart in response. It makes her frown on reflex.
"...I don't like how handsome you are," she mutters, pouting. "It's unfair."
"Well, I can only take that as a compliment," Adrien replies, smiling more genuinely. "Plus, I'd say the same about how stunning you are."
"I'm serious, Chat. I mean. A-...drien." She swallows once past her pink cheeks, eyes darting a touch. "I know we agreed to tell each other this, but we're still superheroes, and...there are bigger reasons why we shouldn't date, either," she falters again, mouth drying. "Beyond just me feeling hurt."
Emphatically, Adrien squeezes her hands in his. Drawing her attention to his earnest, sincere face. An expression that she's never seen Chat Noir make, this close up. One that sends her pulse racing.
"My lady," he begins, unheeding to how she melts at the nickname. "I will never, ever let anything get in the way of the bond we share. Even if we means we can never date. Or be together. But." Determination searing his gaze, he levels it squarely on hers. "Anything we go through. Any villain we face. Any homework we have to get through, I want to go through it with you."
He cracks a smile past the declaration, at the giggle that comes unbidden from her.
"You're my very best friend," he continues, adoring as he takes the sight of her laughter in. "You know that, right?"
There's a smile on his face now. One that can only be described as Adrien. But one that doesn't look out of place at all, on Chat Noir's face. One that, maybe, some day, Marinette can easily ascribe as just one kind of smile that belongs to him, and only him, when she gives him a smile back.
"You're mine, too, Chaton." She brings his hands, holding hers, to her cheek, her eyes sliding shut as the first true smile she's had in days graces her face. "You're mine, too."
Smiling back at her, he shuts his eyes, too, as he rests his cheek on her head, and they hold each other close. As Adrien and Marinette. As Ladybug and Chat Noir. As two sides of a whole that made up something even greater. Even more monumental. Even more miraculous.