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Cheng Fengtai was used to being taken care of.
For a good portion of his life he was coddled by maids-- and less frequently, bathed specifically by his mother. His older sister would constantly fiddle with his hair and tie to make sure everything laid flat, his grandmother choosing his outfits for the day. Even Chacha’er had gained a habit of making sure his hats weren’t crooked on his head.
But, for some reason, there was a horrible ache in his chest as Shang Xirui massaged the soapy rag into his shoulders.
“You’re so spoiled,” Xirui huffed, “I just played so many shows the past week, and you’re making me bathe you .” Fengtai smiled and let his head roll back to look at the man. He only shot back a fake pout.
“I asked if you wanted a bath, but you said no,” Fengtai said, “You make it sound as if I demanded you to be in here.”
“You did .”
“To sit with me, not bathe me.”
Xirui only tilted his head at that with a funny look on his face, switching the rag from one hand to another. Fengtai held his smile, then reached to gently grip the wrist of Xirui’s now free hand.
That ache was something Fengtai had grown at least a little familiar with. He remembered it first hitting him the night his mother had left.
He kissed the top of Xirui’s hand, smile growing into a laugh as Xirui splashed him.
He wasn’t sure what it was called, really. He just knew that it hurt.
“Don’t get all mushy on me, let me finish!” Xirui said, “You’re washing your own hair, I’m not even going to try that with you,” He slapped Fengtai’s shoulder in his frustration, “So annoying.”
“ Shang-Laoban ,” Fengtai pulled at Xirui’s arm towards him, but he wasn’t as successful at that, “Shang-Laoban, won’t you take care of this old man?”
“ No .”
“Shang Lao--”
Fengtai was very promptly met with a rag in his face.
After the initial shock, Fengtai let out an even louder laugh and fully twisted around in the tub. Xirui was already scurrying back on his feet with an equally loud cackle--
“You’re so mean to me!” Fengtai said, pointing to him, “Can I not kiss you? Can I not ask you to accompany me?”
“You--” Xirui stammered, obviously flustered by now, “I don’t know! Look--” Xirui quickly pointed to the tiles, “You got the floor all wet! And me! I’m still in clothes--”
“Well it’s the ba--” Fengtai paused. They both did, and for a second they just looked at each other, “. . . It’s the bathroom ,” He sunk back into the water, “. . . Come here.”
“The tile is wet,” Xirui leaned into the cart set by the wall, it carrying fresh towels and different toiletries, “I don’t want to.”
“Come here.”
“Why?”
Fengtai sunk further into the water and furrowed his brows, “Just get in the tub with me, Xirui--”
“I don’t need a bath!”
Fengtai often found that ache that set in his chest to be distracting. And of course, he never liked that fact, but it was something that always made its presence known.
He knew it was a feeling of wanting affection, but it wasn’t the same longing as a romantic thought. The grip was much tighter around his throat.
“Didn’t you decide to stay the night anyways?” Fengtai asked, “I have spare clothes for you already. I bought you something on the way here.”
There was no hiding the brief flash of excitement from Xirui.
“. . . Can that tub really fit two people?” Xirui said after a small pause, “You filled it up so full, it'll make the mess worse.” Fengtai only shrugged as he leaned on the rim.
“I’ll clean it later. Don’t worry about that.”
He watched as Xirui looked between the tub and the floor, to the soaps and scrubs and brushes set on a small metal stand. He watched as he tentatively pulled the first button free of his shirt.
There was an odd sense of relief that hit Fengtai. He looked away as Xirui shuffled out of the rest of his clothes.
He was used to being coddled, he was used to having people always looking after his appearance.
Fengtai offered a hand as Xirui went to step into the tub, which Xirui gratefully took.
But, there was something different in this. Even in similar scenes with Xiang’er, he didn’t feel as if it were as intimate as it should have been, between husband and wife.
“Which way should I--?” Xirui shook a little as he shifted on his foot, “These tubs are stupid .” He squeezed Fengtai’s hand.
“It’s however you want to face,” He said, “There won’t be much room , either way, but . . .”
“I’ll face you, then.”
Another short silence between them, as Xirui put both feet in the tub.
“You always run the water so hot.”
“I prefer it warmer than this, usually,” Fengtai raised his other hand to Xirui, helping him sit down in the tub. His legs were crossed by now as the other man figured out how to fit in comfortably.
As predicted, the water was threatening to flow over the edge with every movement made. Fengtai personally couldn’t care, but he could see Xirui keeping a close eye on it.
“Relax,” Fengtai, who was still holding on to both of Xirui’s hands, pulled at him again, “The floor will be fine.”
“Shut up.”
Fengtai smiled.
He brought Xirui’s hands up to his face, flipping them palm-side up to set his chin on them. He hummed as Xirui properly cupped his face, thumbs wiping off what he guessed were stray drops of water on his face.
“Fengtai.”
“Hm?”
Xirui only looked at him, adjusting his hands.
“You should hold me,” Fengtai said softly, “I want to be held.”
“You’re so needy.”
It was another nerve wracking process, at least for Xirui, to situate the two of them in a comfortable position. It ended with Xirui leaning back into the tub with Fengtai resting his head on his chest. Fengtai wasn’t sure if he was going to make the man stay like this long though-- the porcelain of the tub wasn’t the softest thing in the world.
But for now, he held onto Xirui. His arms were wrapped around his waist. Xirui’s own arms were settled along his back. He wanted to sleep like this.
Instead, Fengtai pressed light kisses on Xirui’s chest. He kissed his neck-- even when Xirui raised his shoulder --he kissed his jaw.
Xirui could only hug on to him as he stammered.
“Thank you.”
“For what?”
“Sitting with me,” Fengtai nuzzled Xirui’s shoulder, “Thank you.”
Xirui had his cheek set on top of Fengtai’s head for a moment. A short second passed, and he kissed his forehead gently.
Fengtai’s chest ached horribly.