Work Text:
Nora Ephron said, “When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.”
Even over the sound of his workout playlist, Aaron heard the distinct ding of a new email in his inbox. The sound that used to fill him with dread about what lay beyond the “unread” flag on the screen now made his stomach flutter with the possibility of what the woman who lay beyond the username could possibly have to say now. Luckily, he had just finished the last rep of his workout for the morning, so he could check the email immediately instead of having to think about it for another twenty minutes of agony.
He couldn’t get his phone unlocked fast enough to get to the new message – feeling like a teenager – though he was grateful for what Garcia called “the magic square of intelligence” that was his iPhone, so he no longer had to check his email on his desktop computer anymore. Still, he felt his brow crease in frustration the longer it took to get to the words on his screen. Of course, when he did see the neat, black words that felt so familiar despite them being a new email, that frustration was forgotten and all he had left was happiness.
Hello again, friend! It’s been a while since my last email, to which I immediately and humbly ask for your forgiveness. Things got hectic at work and pulled me away from my daily activities – like responding to your mile-long emails. I can always count on you to give me something to read on the subway, I suppose. You’ll be happy to hear that I got the promotion I was hoping for at work – at least I hope you’ll be happy about that considering you were the one that pushed me into applying for it in the first place – I start today, and I am very nervous. Good thing I’m bringing my big briefcase in case I need to yack into it – sorry for the visual. How have you been since we last talked? Crazy to think that fall is almost over; I hope I can count on you to tell me what you’re planning to be for Halloween this year. Maybe, if you’re nice, I’ll send you a picture of my costume. Oh, I almost forgot to ask! How was the date? Do we like her, do we think she’s the one? I’m on the edge of my seat here, do not leave me hanging!
Yours always, Tulip.
He had no idea who she was, or where she was beyond the fact that she lived in D.C. Aaron couldn’t help himself from scanning the crowds now any time he ventured into the city for the last six months, wondering if any of the faces in the crowd were her. Of course, he liked to think that he would be able to tell immediately who she was, but he knew even his profiling skills weren’t that good.
Honestly, he couldn’t believe it had already been six months that he’d been exchanging emails back and forth with a stranger – though, she wasn’t a stranger, not anymore. If anything, she was a friend, but friend seemed too weak a word for what Aaron felt for her. For a woman whose name he didn’t even know. He didn’t have to know her name to know that he was head over heels in love with her, having fallen over the hundreds of messages of correspondence passed back and forth throughout the previous six months, and learning everything there is to know about this stubborn, funny, and charming woman.
Aaron wasted no time typing out a response before he grabbed a towel to take a shower before work.
Tulip! I was wondering when I’d hear back from you, have to say I’m glad that you didn’t forget about me. This will be a short message, sorry for leaving you hanging for your commute, but I’m already running late for work. I’m ecstatic about your promotion! You deserve it, and I couldn’t be prouder. Besides, I just gave you the push, you did all the hard work. No need to be nervous, you’re going to do great, I promise – just make sure not to aim for your boss’s shoes when you yack. I’ve been alright since we last talked, trying to get everything together for my kid’s Halloween costume, which, of course, means I have no clue what I’m going as. And I do have to go as something this year because I was invited to a party. Now I’m nervous. Any suggestions you have for my costume, send them my way – along with the pictures of your costume that you’ve promised. Ugh, the date. Very much a bust. She told me I reminded her of her dad – three times. Oh well, you win some, you lose some, right? Good luck today, you’ve got this.
Yours always, Mr. Suit and Tie.
As always, Aaron cringed at the sight of his online screen name that he’d chosen so many months ago when he’d signed up for the chatroom for people who’d lost their spouses. It was Garcia’s idea, of course, she’d found the group through the victim support groups that she worked with through the bureau and slipped the flier for it onto a stack of files that she’d plopped onto his desk one afternoon. Haley had been gone for over a year, and Aaron didn’t feel like he needed any more support on the matter – he had his team, he had Jessica, Jack, he didn’t need anyone else – but every time his eyes caught on that flier that he couldn’t seem to toss out, it was like a little voice in the back of his head told him to do it. That voice was probably Penelope Garcia, but he decided to indulge it.
He set up an email specifically for the site, completely unwilling to attach his real name and email to his profile – maybe it was the job he did on a daily basis that made him do this, and yet, maybe it was simply his need for privacy. Either way, he’d toyed with a username for what felt like hours before he simply looked down at what he was wearing and went with it. And thus, Aaron’s moonlighting as Mr. Suit and Tie began. He’d met a woman named TulipsKissing on the site about a month after he joined – she’d messaged him privately about a woman in the group who had just posted a long, weepy-sounding message about whomever she’d lost that had brought her to the group.
Think she’s mourning a person or a cat?
Aaron had spent about an hour staring at that message before he figured out how to respond. Of course, when he profiled the weepy woman and her message, he’d responded to TulipsKissing and told her what he thought. Sure enough, the next day the woman had posted a picture of her with the cat she’d lost, and Aaron couldn’t help but smirk as he sent TulipsKissing a message.
I win?
And it was the start of the next six months – it was the start of everything. An everything that was his secret. Sure, the team had likely noticed a change in him, a change that made him smile more – of course, he hadn’t said a thing to them about her; her and her stubborn, kind, smart, funny emails that he treasured like nothing else on a long day. She was his secret to keep. Suddenly he began understanding why Reid kept Maeve a secret for so long – when you’re not explaining it, you don’t have to admit how much it means to you.
At work that morning, Aaron had to refrain from obsessively checking his inbox for an email from his tulip telling him how the first day in the new position was going. Of course, it wasn’t helped by Strauss introducing him to her new assistant.
“This is SSA Aaron Hotchner,” Strauss said during her introduction. “He’s the Unit Chief of this team and the primary agent you’ll be working with for me.”
“(Y/n) (Y/l/n),” You said with a bright smile, sticking your hand out to shake his. “It’s great to meet you, Agent Hotchner.”
You were young – probably around twenty-six – beautiful, and clearly prepared for a bureaucratic office job. He could see that professional ladder-climbing ambition in your eyes, and he wouldn’t be surprised to see you doing Strauss’s job in twenty years. Of course, that was assuming you didn’t attempt to go beyond even her in the corporate ladder.
“It’s nice to meet you too,” He said with a professional smile. Turning to Strauss he joked, “Trying to pawn us off, Erin?”
“Always, Hotchner,” Erin sighed. “I needed someone who could liaise directly between our offices now that I’m Section Chief for three other units as well as the BAU.”
“Please,” Aaron huffed out a laugh. “Can’t we use email for that? Do you really need an assistant?”
He knew it was a little mean to speak as though your job didn’t matter right in front of you, but to his defense, he was simply trying to ruffle Strauss’s feathers for using money from the already tight budget to hire herself an assistant. Of course, he should have expected yours to get ruffled too.
“Actually,” You said, the word clipped in a way your previous ones hadn’t been. “Studies have shown it’s more conducive not only for organization but also collaboration to have a physical go-between for bureaucracy and field teams. And I’m not an assistant, Agent Hotchner, I’m an interoffice liaison.”
Aaron nearly snorted at just how like Reid you sounded, “Let me guess: you proposed this job position, didn’t you?”
He watched you stiffen, your fists curling in on themselves frustratedly – only proving to him through your body language that he was right. Erin sighed, ushering you out of Aaron’s office before a fight could ensue. Through the window on his office wall, Aaron watched you glance back at him once as you followed Erin through the bullpen and back to her office.
It was only after you were gone that Aaron realized what a jerk he’d been. Clearly, you’d been nervous about your first day and here he was making it even harder on you. Once again his thoughts turned to his pen pal, hoping she was at least settling in easier to her new job than he was making your transition. And, like she could read his mind from however far away she was, his phone dinged with a new email.
I have read and digested your email in its entirety (and yes, of course, I have costume suggestions) but this has nothing to do with any of it lol. First-day jitters are here to stay and it’s a miracle my purse is still clean. My boss (super jerk - though admittedly a very attractive super jerk) hates me and wants me fired – at least I think he does, he doesn’t seem to want me there. Already. SOS. I hope your day is going better than mine!
Yours always, Tulip.
Aaron let out a breath of disappointment for her, his heart aching knowing that her first day wasn’t everything she was hoping for it to be. And, while he felt silent rage for the boss that was already treating her like crap, he couldn’t judge too much as the memory of his conversation with you played out in his mind. Before he could be busy with anything, he typed a quick response.
I’m sorry it’s not going how you thought it would, hopefully, it will get better. As for the super jerk, maybe he’s just not one for pleasantries? He could be a nice guy under that tough shell (not speaking from experience, no way. Never.) just give him a chance to be a decent guy. (But I am willing to send a strongly worded email if he continues to be an ass.)
Yours always, Mr. Suit and Tie.
Her response had been some tongue-in-cheek remark that he better crack that tough exterior before she cracked it for him that made Aaron laugh out loud in his office alone.
For the next few weeks, he got a few more emails about the super jerk boss that his tulip had to deal with, though he hoped their decreasing frequency meant they were learning how to work together.
As for himself, his work life was only getting more complicated. Every time he had to interact with you it turned into a fight – an ugly fight that always left Aaron with regrets from the things he’d say. Of course, the things you said to him were just as unkind, and he couldn’t help but wonder if you sat in your office after a fight like he did and wished you could turn back time. Though, even when you exchanged barbed insults, Aaron found himself intrigued by you like he’d known you for much longer than a few weeks. Like he’d spent a lifetime getting to know you, only to fall into the trap of bickering because if you both just put your dukes down and realized how well you got along, you’d be forced to admit that there was chemistry between you. Chemistry that confused Aaron more than he cared to think about – how could he feel so strongly about his tulip and want to know every intimate detail about you at the same time?
The rest of the team seemed to like you, inviting you out for drinks and to game night at Dave’s with the team – a decision that Aaron hadn’t been informed of until he was leaving the office that night.
“You comin’ tonight?” Morgan asked as he dropped the last of his reports off before heading out.
“I think so,” Aaron sighed. “Jack has a sleepover, so why not, right?”
“That’s the spirit,” Morgan laughed, making Aaron send him a small grin. “Think you and (y/l/n) will be able to behave yourselves?”
“She’s coming?”
“Mhm.”
“Oh,” Aaron said. “I see.”
Morgan huffed out a laugh, shaking his head, and making Aaron furrow his brow at his subordinate and friend.
“What?”
“Come on, man,” Morgan grinned. “Just tell the girl you like her already and be done with it.”
“I don’t like her,” Aaron said. “I mean – I don’t not like her, I just don’t like her how you’re implying.”
“Sure,” Morgan said, not believing Aaron’s words for a minute. “Whatever you say, boss man.”
The entire drive to game night, Aaron pondered Morgan’s words. He didn’t like you. Right? How could he like you when he loved Tulip? Of course, he would be an idiot to deny how similar you were to his online friend, he’d noticed it in the first few days that you were working with the bureau, but surely, he would know if the woman he’d been communicating with for six months was working a hundred feet away from him every day. Maybe he just didn’t want to admit that he was her super jerk boss. No, there was no way on Earth you were Tulip. No way.
At game night, the team paired off for Pictionary and of course, you and Aaron were paired together. He watched you bite your lip – a nervous tic he’d noticed fairly early on in your employment at the office – every time you were concentrating on watching someone draw. When it was your turn, Aaron was the drawer and he nearly stumbled several times watching you pull one of your beautiful lips between your teeth to gnaw on in concentration before you yelled out the winning answer.
Like always, after about two hours of games, everyone got tired of playing and decided to simply sit around and talk about anything and everything that came up naturally in conversation. After a while, Aaron slipped out of the living room and moved to sit on the step outside of Dave’s sliding glass door in the back of the house. He let the cold, October air swirl around him as he read over Tulip’s most recent email once more.
Well, well, Mr. Suit and Tie, you will be glad to know that I’ve decided on a Halloween costume for this year. As per our most recent debate on the very classic novel Pride and Prejudice, I have decided to go as non-other than Elizabeth Bennet herself – well, my take on Elizabeth Bennet. Basically, I’m taking the opportunity to wear a pretty Edwardian-style dress that I found online lol. Of course, I’m still waiting anxiously to find out what you’re going as (nudge, nudge). Hope you’re having a good night.
Yours always, Tulip.
Before he was able to start typing a response, the sound of the sliding glass door behind Aaron being open made him turn to see you stepping out into the cold night.
“Hey,” He said, breathing out a laugh when you jumped about a foot in the air at his voice.
“Hi,” You said, placing your hand on your chest to feel your racing heartbeat. “I didn’t – I’m sorry, I didn’t realize anyone was out here. I’ll leave you be.”
“No, no,” Aaron said. “It’s fine. You can – if you want.” He gestured to the spot beside himself, watching you glance down at it and then back to his eyes for a moment before nodding and folding yourself into a seated position beside him.
You sat in silence for a moment, simply enjoying the autumn air and the company – for once. After a breath, Aaron turned to see you watching him curiously.
“What?” He asked.
“It’s just – you’re different out of the office,” You laughed slightly. “Looser somehow.”
“Thank you?”
“You’re welcome,” You shrugged. “And you’re weirdly good at Pictionary.”
“It’s a gift,” Aaron sighed, leaning back to rest on his elbows.
He nearly started when he heard you let out a genuine laugh at his joke, he wasn’t sure he’d ever heard your adorable laugh in response to something he’d said before. Judging from the look in your eye, it surprised you just as much as it had him.
“Can I ask you a question?” You asked.
“Shoot.”
“Why don’t you like me?” Aaron blinked in surprise at you. “It’s okay, it’s just – I’m curious.”
“I like you, (y/l/n),” Aaron said genuinely. “You’re smart, you’re funny – a little too stubborn sometimes, but who am I to talk? You're beautiful. And you care, you really care, about the work you do. I like you, even if my way of showing it is a little –”
“Stupid?” You grinned, making Aaron’s lips curl up into a smile of his own.
“At times.”
“I can be stupid too,” You said quietly after a moment. “I get angry when we don’t see eye-to-eye and I say things – stupid things.”
“I say stupid things too,” Aaron said. “I wish I didn’t.”
You nodded, your brows furrowing and that lip going between your teeth once more in concentration. After a heartbeat passed, you stuck your pinky out to him, nodding at it until Aaron wrapped his own around it, ignoring the way his skin tingled where you touched.
“No more stupid things,” You murmured.
Aaron let out a soft breath, feeling his lips quirk up gently into a smile as he looked into your gorgeous eyes, “No more stupid things.”
"I like you too, Aaron," You said, never knowing just how much those little words were affecting him. "I really like you."
The two of you went back inside then, only to see everyone packing up to go home – Garcia having already left. He watched your eyes blank, Garcia had clearly forgotten she’d driven you there and needed to drive you home. Without allowing himself to think twice about it, Aaron offered you a ride and nodded at his car at the back of the driveway.
The ride to your house was quiet aside from your occasional directions – a charged quiet after the moment you shared outside on the stoop. When he reached your place, he let out a soft breath at how you the little blue townhouse was.
“Thank you,” You said quietly when he put the car in park. “For driving me home.”
“It’s no problem,” Aaron replied just as quietly. “Thanks for your help tonight.”
You smiled ruefully and Aaron ignored just how much it affected him, “I’m not sure how helpful I was, but you’re welcome anyway.”
Aaron watched you bite your bottom lip as your eyes scanned his face like you had something else you wanted to say to him, but then you shook your head, deciding against it. His eyebrows knit together as you breathed out a chuckle.
“What?”
“It’s nothing,” You said.
“Tell me anyway.”
“It’s just something a friend said to me,” Your lips quirked up into a smile. “And now I’m thinking he might be a pretty good profiler.”
“What did he say?” Aaron couldn’t help the jealous burn he felt in his stomach at the mention of your friend.
“Just that my jerk boss,” You shot him a somewhat apologetic glance. “Was probably a nice guy under that hard exterior, just needed to give him a chance to be decent.”
Aaron’s heart dropped into his stomach. He knew that advice – knew it well – having been the one to type it out and send it to you. It was like time literally stopped around him, or he imagined that’s what it would feel like if time stopped, seeing as he’d never experienced that before. You were his pen pal. You were the woman he had spent six months falling madly, deeply in love with you. You. Stubborn, beautiful, you that made Aaron crazier more often than not and made him feel like he wanted to tear his hair out almost daily. But, for some reason, it didn’t feel wrong. It didn’t feel like his world was crumbling to the ground, if anything Aaron thought the confusing feelings in his stomach were leaning mostly towards excitement and…relief?
“A-and what’s your consensus?” Aaron croaked out.
“And you’re a nice guy, Hotch,” You said softly. “You don’t open up easily and you certainly come off much pricklier than I think you intend, but underneath it all you’re a good guy.”
“I don’t know about that,” Aaron laughed lightly. “But it’s nice that you think so.”
It was then that Aaron realized how close together you were sitting, the both of you leaned over the center counsel to be nearer to one another. Seemingly at the same time, your eyes flicked down to one another’s lips, and Aaron felt his heart pound in his chest. You leaned in further, your eyes fluttering closed as you targeted his mouth, and god he wanted to let you. He wanted to take you in his arms and finally, finally kiss you, but he couldn’t You didn’t know who he was and it wouldn’t be fair to you – to his tulip – to do this and not tell you.
When Aaron backed up from your kiss, your eyes blinked open in surprise. Something like embarrassment flashed in your eyes as you pulled back. Aaron cleared his throat, hating himself for hurting you, and watched you bite your bottom lip adorably.
“I’m sorry,” He whispered gruffly.
“Don’t be,” You said quietly. “I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to – my fault.”
“No, it’s not –”
“I should go,” You said, pushing the door open and stepping out of the car without looking back at him. “Thanks again for the ride, Hotch, seriously.”
“It’s really –” The door shutting cut off his response. “No problem.”
He watched you climb the steps to your cute little townhouse and felt the acidic burn of regret boil in his stomach. The last thing he wanted to do in the world was hurt you, and although he had his reasons for not wanting your first kiss to be under these pretenses, he still felt himself aching to have kissed you.
Guilt and embarrassment roiled around in Aaron’s stomach for about a week – a week that he couldn’t seem to respond to the most recent email you’d sent him. A week that he tried to avoid you at work as much as you were avoiding him – of course, he refrained from letting any stupid thing fly out of his mouth, just like he’d promised you. Eventually, he felt too silly avoiding his problems like a child, he was a grown man who was in love with an incredible woman, and he refused to let you slip through his fingers.
Hey, Tulip, I’m sorry it’s been a while – I got caught up in things. I’ve missed you; I hope you’re doing well, and I hope you don’t hate me for taking so long to respond. Do you remember a couple of months ago when you mentioned meeting in person? If you’re still interested, please let me know, if not then I’ll drop it and we won’t mention it. By the way, I think I’ve figured out my Halloween costume, but it’s a secret for now. I really have missed you.
Yours always, Mr. Suit and Tie.
It was hardly three minutes later when a response from you came in. Dave’s address on top of the email and directions on where to find you, followed by, I’ll be the one dressed as Elizabeth Bennet. Of course, you would, it was the reason Aaron spent the entire week before Halloween searching every costume store for anything that resembled men’s Edwardian clothes that he could pass off as Mr. Darcy.
As the holiday got nearer, Aaron’s nerves got bigger. He heard you chatting with Penelope one afternoon as you got coffee, offhandedly mentioning that you’d invited someone to her Halloween party at Dave’s and Aaron’s stomach gave a flip knowing that it was him. He begged every corner of the universe to stop the team from getting any kind of case that could keep him from seeing you under the gazebo in Dave’s backyard.
Halloween was on a Sunday, and Garcia’s party was the Saturday before – which Aaron was grateful for, it meant he still got to take Jack trick or treating on the actual day and still attend the party to be reintroduced to the woman he loved.
Walking into the party, Aaron didn’t bother to look for you, he knew where you’d be. As casually as he could, he crossed the room and chatted with his friends and the strangers that Garcia had filled Dave’s house with, trying his hardest not to look like he was sprinting towards the door to get outside.
When he finally pushed his way outside, he took in the romantic scene in the garden of Dave’s backyard. The beautiful lights illuminating the flowers and the Gazebo and you. Beautiful you with your back to him, waiting for him.
Seeing you standing there, exactly where you’d said you’d be, Aaron felt nervous. He couldn’t help but run through every “What if?” scenario in his head a million times as he tightened his grasp on the small bouquet of tulips that he’d brought you. What if you were disappointed it was him? What if you rejected him? What if you were allergic to tulips?
Before he could talk himself out of it, Aaron took in a breath and began the slow walk to reach you under the gazebo in Dave Rossi’s patio. After a moment, you turned to face him, likely having heard the sounds of his footsteps on the pavement. Even from a good distance, away Aaron could hear the sharp breath you took in. Your expression was impossible to read from as far away as he was, but as he grew closer, he could see about four emotions passing over your beautiful features at once.
“Hi,” Aaron said quietly as he climbed the steps of the gazebo to reach you.
You said nothing, standing in what Aaron assumed was a frozen shock as he approached you slowly. The air was cold, he could see your breath leaving your lips in short puffs of nervous air. And like everything else about you, Aaron adored it.
“I know I’m not what you expected –”
Aaron cut himself off with a small gasp as your lips curled up into a wide smile, your feet carrying you directly in front of him with a tiny sob. Your hands rested perfectly against his chest like they were made to lay there for the rest of your lives. Aaron’s lips lifted into a smile at the sight of your beautiful eyes looking up at him, filled with tears that had yet to fall down your cheeks, his hand pressing into your back to draw you in closer to him.
“Don’t cry, tulip,” He murmured, cupping your cheek with his free hand and using his thumb to wipe away the single tear that slipped down your cheek. “Don’t cry, (y/n).”
“I wanted it to be you,” You whispered. “I wanted it to be you so badly.”
Aaron lowered his head to brush his lips over yours in the barest of kisses before pulling back to let his eyes roam over you, forcing himself to believe that this was really real. That you were truly in his arms. Your eyes drifted open a small smile lighting up your face as you leaned up on your tiptoes to capture Aaron’s lips in a real kiss, one that took his breath away. Six months in the making, and forever ahead of you as Aaron held you in his arms and knew the rest of his life with the woman he loved more than any other was about to start.