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Buck: Today is a bones day so I’m treating myself to a deluxe smoothie from Tammy’s
Buck: Anyone want anything?
Hen: Buckaroo are you volunteering to be our personal UberEats delivery driver?
Hen: Because if so, yes I want a smoothie
Hen: Mixed berry and banana with one scoop of peanut butter
Chimney: Gross
Chimney: @Buck wtf is a bones day
Eddie: It has to do with a dog, that’s all I know
Chimney: It could’ve been a dog or Star Trek I guess
Buck: What do bones have to do with star trek?
Chimney: How have you survived to adulthood
Buck: Health insurance
Buck: Also Maddie
Buck: Also bones day means you should treat yourself, and no bones means you should take it easy for the day
Bobby: It’s like how a groundhog predicts winter by looking at its shadow except it’s a pug and it’s whether or not it can stand on its own or slump back down to bed
Chimney: BOBBY HOW DO YOU KNOW
Bobby: May is obsessed with Noodle the Pug
Bobby: She sends the bones day status to our family group chat
Buck: Um why do I not get bones alerts from May??
Hen: Clearly you don’t need them if you look it up yourself anyway
Hen: Also Karen wants a mango smoothie
Buck: Got it.
Buck: Anyone else want a smoothie?
Buck: Going once
Buck: Going twice
Buck: Sold!
Buck: To no one
Buck: Except Hen
Buck: And Karen
Buck: On my way to Tammy’s, your BuckEats order should arrive in approximately 15-25 minutes.
Chimney: I’m not sure how I’m feeling about your delivery service name there.
Chimney: It sounds like you’re gonna eat the food before you deliver it
Buck: I would never!
Eddie: Don’t text and drive Buck
Buck: I’m at a red light!
Hen: BuckHub
Hen: Nope nevermind, that sounds like Buck’s personal porn website
Buck: 😏
Buck: For the record, not even Buck 1.0 had a personal porn website
Eddie: Stop texting Buck
Buck: RED LIGHT
Chimney: BuckDash
Eddie: DoorBucks
Hen: I don’t hate it
Chimney: Could be worse (side eyes BuckHub)
Hen: It was the next logical attempt, don’t @ me
Chimney: BuckMates
Hen: Now who’s coming up with porn websites
Chimney: sdfghjkl
Chimney: Okay how about
Chimney: It’s not delivery, it’s Buckaroo
Hen: That’s not a name, that’s a tagline
Chimney: It implies that the name is self-titled
Eddie: InstaBuck
Bobby: That sounds like a type of coffee.
Hen: God can you imagine the caffeine content?!
Bobby: No
Bobby: We’re not gonna do that
Eddie: What would caffeine-free Buck be like?
Hen: Ravi
Chimney: B-shift probie
Chimney: Same hat!
Hen: Probie has a name Chim
Chimney: We didn’t call Buck probie often enough, I’m taking it where I can
Chimney: We never even called Eddie probie ONCE
Hen: Buck better be here with our smoothies soon
Hen: I’m gonna give him 2 stars at this point if it takes much longer
Chimney: He said 15-25 minutes right?
Chimney: This IS Los Angeles
Hen: It’s been 30 min, I can bitch if I want to
Hen: If it’s 30 minutes late I get the smoothies for free
Eddie: You still have 25 minutes for that
Hen: Oh trust me, the countdown has started
Hen: It wasn’t even me
Hen: It’s on Karen’s phone
Eddie: I’m surprised he didn’t call you to confirm your orders when he got there
Eddie: He does that when he picks up pizza for us all the time
Chimney: Us?
Eddie: @Chim check your DMs
Chimney: Bobby, I’d like to report a death threat, can you tell Athena?
Bobby: You have her number, I’m not getting involved
Hen: Classic fire dad move, pass the bickering kids off to mom
Chimney: Is it weird that you just referred to Athena as your mom?
Hen: I’m not one of the bickering kids, I’m the cool aunt
Chimney: I’m older than you!
Hen: And yet
Eddie: @Hen have you heard from Buck?
Hen: No actually
Hen: Maybe he’s driving?
Hen: Karen says he has 12 minutes still
Eddie: It’s weird that he didn’t contact you when he got to Tammy’s
Eddie: He hasn’t been answering my texts either
Chimney: Lemme try something
Chimney: Okay yeah now I’m a little concerned
Eddie: Why what happened???
Chimney: I sent him a text that he literally cannot ignore
Hen: ????
Chimney: I told him the baby is coming
Hen: CHIM
Chimney: She’s not, everything’s fine
Chimney: But he totally would’ve responded to that
Bobby: I tried calling him just now but no answer
Eddie: Same
Chimney: Okay definitely concerned now
Chimney: Any car accidents reported?
Bobby: Not in the area between Buck’s apartment and the smoothie shop
Bobby: According to Athena; she’s on shift
Eddie: Do we know that Buck was leaving from his apartment in the first place?
Eddie: He could’ve been coming from anywhere
Hen: Like where?
Eddie: The gym maybe, or the station if he was picking something up
Eddie: He could be coming back from a run at any of his favorite running spots
Chimney: From your place maybe
Eddie: I would’ve said if Buck just left my place
Chimney: Uh huh sure
Chimney: Bobby, MULTIPLE DEATH THREATS
Bobby: Okay Athena said she’d put some feelers out for the MVAs that have been reported over the last hour
Bobby: So far nothing sounding like Buck or his jeep have come up
Eddie: I’m gonna go out and see if I find anything
Eddie: Hen do you mind if I drop off Christopher with you?
Hen: Bring him over, Denny will be thrilled
Hen: @Chim Maddie’s at work right? Maybe ask her if they’ve gotten any calls that might give us something?
Chimney: Absolutely not
Chimney: I’m not gonna worry my very pregnant girlfriend over something that might not even be a problem yet
Chimney: I’ll ask Josh
Bobby: I’m gonna drive to the station, see if anyone’s seen him there today
Hen: I’ll stay here in case he does end up showing up with the smoothies.
Chimney: I’ll check the gym and then maybe that hiking trail he dragged us all on a few years ago
Eddie: What?
Chimney: It was pre you
Chimney: We never did a 118 hiking trip again
Chimney: Buck does not understand what a ‘normal’ hiking difficulty is
Eddie: Yeah that’s fair
Eddie: Send me the address and I’ll check out the other places I know he goes
Bobby: I’ll check Tammy’s after the station and see if he ever showed up to pick up the order
Eddie: @Hen any word on the smoothie front?
Hen: I mean he’s well past his timer at this point
Hen: Not that that’s the concern right now
Hen: But no, haven’t heard anything
Bobby: No one at the station has seen him today
Bobby: Athena checked on other MVAs, none of them involve a jeep
Chimney: He hasn’t checked in at the gym today
Eddie: No sign of him along the way to/from the first running path I checked
Chimney: Josh said he hasn’t heard of anything today that would be relevant but he’ll keep an ear on it
Bobby: Buck’s smoothie order was still sitting here, so he never made it to the store
Hen: I mean this with all the appropriate concern regarding Buck’s current unknown whereabouts
Hen: But my poor smoothie 😭
Eddie: Yeah meanwhile Buck’s still missing and could be hurt somewhere so I don’t give a damn about your smoothie
Bobby: Okay let’s take a second to breathe here
Bobby: We’re all worried about Buck
Hen: Sorry, that was callous
Hen: Of course I’m worried about Buck
Eddie: Sorry, I’m just
Eddie: Freaking out a little
Chimney: He’s not at the hiking trail from hell
Chimney: Now Maddie’s texting me worried that she can’t get ahold of Buck
Chimney: What do I tell her?
Hen: The truth
Hen: We don’t know where he is but there’s no reason to panic just yet
Chimney: I don’t want to lie to her but I also don’t want to stress her out
Chimney: We don’t technically know something is wrong yet
Chimney: And she is VERY pregnant
Eddie: I didn’t see any sign of him at the running trails he frequents
Eddie: Fuck
Eddie: Where is he?!
Bobby: We’re gonna find him, okay?
Bobby: It’s been long enough that Athena can swing for a BOLO on Buck’s jeep.
Hen: Are there any other places he could have been coming from on his way to Tammy’s?
Hen: Realistically if he thought he was gonna get to my house in 15-25 minutes, he can’t have been coming from very far from the store.
Hen: I live 10 minutes away.
Eddie: So we should be searching a 5 minute radius around Tammy’s?
Chimney: We might find a sign but he also might not be there any more
Eddie: What are you saying?
Chimney: I’m saying that we’re assuming he’s hurt or stuck somewhere but he might not be where he started anymore.
Hen: What, like someone took him?
Bobby: Or he went somewhere
Eddie: He wouldn’t have left willingly without telling us
Bobby: No one’s suggesting that
Chimney: I’m just saying we shouldn’t put all of our hopes on finding him in that radius
Chimney: I’ll meet you guys over there
Hen: Anything?
Bobby: No sign of him that we can tell.
Eddie: This doesn’t make any sense.
Eddie: Where could he be?
Bobby: Maybe we need to regroup.
Bobby: We’re not giving up
Bobby: I can see you typing Eddie
Bobby: But we can’t just keep driving around LA aimlessly
Eddie: Something is seriously wrong here, we can’t just waste time
Chimney: We’re not doing Buck any favors if we just drive around like chickens with our heads cut off
Chimney: It’ll be better if we can pool our resources and get a better idea on where he could be
Hen: And the police will be looking for his jeep so that might yield something.
Eddie: Yeah
Eddie: Yeah okay
Eddie: Sorry
Hen: We get it
Eddie: I’ll be by to pick up Chris in a bit
Eddie: I’m gonna bring him back to our place so he can grab some homework then bring him by Abuela’s, then I’ll be over
Eddie: Where are we meeting?
Bobby: My house
Bobby: Athena will meet us there
Chimney: Okay
Eddie: Okay
Hen: 👍
Eddie: Bucky is with us
Eddie: Dad says to meet us at the hospital
Eddie: First P
Eddie: I cant spell it but he said you know
Hen: Thank you sweetie
Hen: Is Buck alright?
Eddie: Hes sleeping right now
Eddie: He was waiting at our house
Eddie: He looked bloody
Eddie: Dad says hes gonna be okay tho
Eddie: Bucky smiled when he saw us
Eddie: But then dad had to catch him
Eddie: Then the ambulance took him
Eddie: Hey guys it’s Eddie, sorry
Eddie: Christopher insisted that he could help and I figured you would want an update anyway
Chimney: What happened??
Chimney: I’m picking up Maddie then I’ll be on my way
Eddie: Buck was at my house when we got there
Eddie: Beaten to a pulp but somehow still standing
Eddie: Passed out right after he saw us but luckily I caught him before he could add another head injury to the list
Hen: Another??
Hen: I’m on my way too
Eddie: Like I said, someone worked him good
Eddie: He hasn’t woken up yet so I don’t know what happened
Eddie: The paramedics seemed to think he passed out due to exhaustion rather than his injuries though so that’s something positive
Eddie: I’m waiting for someone to tell me something
Chimney: You might have to wait until Maddie gets there
Eddie: I’m his medical proxy, they’ll tell me
Hen: 👀
Bobby: Athena and I are on our way
Eddie: Buck woke up, he’s talking and everything
Eddie: Doctors are optimistic
Eddie: He should be fine
Chimney: Maddie and I are five minutes away
Hen: We’ll be in the waiting room when you get here
Hen: Well, Eddie got visiting dibs so he’s with Buck
Hen: So is Christopher
Bobby: Athena and I are parking
Eddie: Okay if you guys are already here, can Athena have an officer go make an arrest?
Chimney: ???
Chimney: You know who hurt Buck?
Eddie: It was his fucking lawyer
Eddie: Chase Mackey
Hen: From the lawsuit??
Hen: Why would he...???
Eddie: Buck’s being cagey, but he said it was about the settlement he was offered
Bobby: Athena’s got someone on it
Chimney: How much money was Buck offered that his lawyer went off the deep end about it??
Buck: It was $4mil okay?
Chimney: WHAT
Chimney: (Also we’re really glad you’re okay)
Hen: Good to hear from you Buckaroo
Bobby: How are you feeling Buck?
Buck: Like tenderized meat
Buck: I’ll be okay though
Hen: What happened?
Buck: Mackey showed up when I arrived at Tammy’s
Buck: I wanted to stretch my legs after my run so I parked at the far end of the parking lot
Buck: He knocked me out and drove us to some gutted house
Buck: He beat me up pretty good but when he left I broke the zip ties he used on me and ran
Buck: My jeep is still MIA btw
Chimney: Is no one else stuck on the fact that the city offered Buck $4mil and he turned it down??
Chimney: No wonder your lawyer went psycho
Bobby: Chim
Chimney: What?
Chimney: People have done way shittier things for way less money
Bobby: Athena said Mackey was picked up, he’s in custody
Eddie: Good
Buck: Chim’s not wrong
Buck: And you guys are worth way more than any payout
Hen: 🥺🤗
Buck: So I’m flattered you all tried so hard to find me
Buck: Like genuinely, thanks guys
Buck: But
Buck: For the record
Buck: ALL of you have location sharing turned on with me
Chimney: 
Eddie: 🤦♂️
Hen: What the fuck is wrong with us 😣😩
Buck: It’s the thought that counts
Buck: 🤗😘