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Erik loves Charles. Charles loves Erik. And yet Erik finds their situation troubling.
A few days ago, Erik came to Charles with a peculiar request – to make Erik heterosexual. But instead of being disgusted by Erik’s admission of attraction, Charles revealed that Erik’s feelings were reciprocated.
Since that evening, Charles’ behaviour toward Erik changed. Instead of flinching away as Erik had expected, he hovered nearer to Erik and increased his already touchy behaviour. Sensing (hopefully without reading my mind Erik thought, despite knowing it was not in Charles’ character) that Erik was uncomfortable with the rapid change in their relationship that the new information brought about, he did things slowly and deliberately, sensually rather than sexually. He would simply rest his hand on Erik’s shoulder when they watched the youngsters train, or lean in slightly closer than was normally socially acceptable, or give him warm smiles readily, often catching Erik off-guard.
Charles understood that this would require a great deal of adjustment for Erik, who’d grown up being persecuted for being Jewish, watched others persecuted for similar reasons. Homosexuality was among them; Charles had glimpsed another memory in Erik’s mind of a time shortly after his mother’s demise of seeing two men, both with yellow and pink triangles overlapping on their sleeves, kissing passionately before being wrenched apart. It was shrouded with the knowledge that both were destined to die.
Even now, in the United States, Erik knew that the ‘authorities’ would persecute him and Charles if they found out of anything between them. Erik knew his care about the U.S. government’s opinion was humorous considering that he would be considered a criminal and/or a test subject (lab rat, like Charles was, however briefly, like I was when weak and young Erik remembers) due to his mutation, and this would be of greater interest to them than his sexuality.
However, Erik’s concern with the government was not irrational nor was it selfish; Erik did not want to give the government of the place Charles calls home any more reason than Charles’ mutation does to prosecute him. Erik couldn’t bring himself to give them an excuse to hurt Charles, and if suppressing his lovelustaffectionpeace feelings towards Charles would help keep Charles away from monsters like Shaw and hells like the concentration camps, then so be it.
A week after the first kiss, Erik was surprised by Charles in the early hours in the morning – surprising because Charles usually slept well past sunrise, and yet today seemingly awaited Erik before dawn outside the metal bender’s door – with a forceful message. Charles again craned towards Erik’s face and pressed their lips together softly, pushing something into Erik’s hands and crossing the hallway to his room (not bothering to lock the door, noted Erik smiling – locks were useless with Erik’s metal controlling mutation around), leaving suddenly.
Erik looked down at the object Charles had given him. He unfurled the paper (today’s, he noted, just how early had Charles awoken?) and was greeted with a clear headline; he instantly understood Charles’ message. “ILLINOIS DECRIMINALISES HOMOSEXUALITY; HUMAN RIGHTS ACTIVISTS GAY” it read. Erik was a strong man; the last time he cried was to mourn his mother over a decade ago, but this brought tears to his eyes.
Charles was telling him that he had nothing to fear (that I am not alone, he thought, looking at the grainy black and white photograph of what appeared to be an impromptu pride parade). Erik imagined Charles convincing the state officials (how much of his method was money and how much was mutation? He thought wonderingly. The idea that Charles would do this, something he probably thought an abuse of his power, for Erik, was enthralling) to pass this controversial piece of legislation. Charles had, come to think of it, left for most of a day under the guise of grocery shopping a couple of days ago... Erik tossed the paper into his room and went for this habitual morning jog.
Slowly, Erik began to relax in – and respond to – Charles’ subtle displays of affection. Erik did not believe in God because he thought if God existed he would have saved the Jewish people – and all the others who were murdered or enslaved by the Nazis – from their terrible fate. He was not worried about a deity’s wrath and gathered that Charles was also unreligious.
Erik was admittedly a little worried about what the children would think (when did I start to use Charles’ terminology for them?), because in his experience, youngsters were some of the most judgemental people and he’d grown to care about the other mutant’s opinions. Alex may not take it well, if Erik and Charles were to ‘come out’. He couldn’t be sure about Hank.
He paused in his stroll through the grounds, alert. The sounds he’d just heard – was that a scuffle? One of the children out for a walk, or something more sinister?
He crept forward around the thick tree, crafting a sharp and pointy blade in mid air from a stray piece of metal he’d brought, out of habit, in his pocket, ready to stab the intruder until –
He almost stabbed Alex through the back of the skull.
Alex, who was locked in a passionate embrace with Hank.
Erik cleared his throat loudly. The boys broke apart immediately, Hank blushing to the roots of his hair, and Alex assuming an amusingly protective position in front of him, his jaw set.
“What’s the threatening stance for, Havok?” Erik said, just managing to keep the mirth from his voice by concentrating on rolling his metal weapon back into a small sphere and guiding it into his trouser pocket.
“If you intend to hurt him, you’ll have to go through me,” said Alex stubbornly.
“And why on earth would I do that? Carry on, lovebirds.” Erik stumped the pair, leaving them gaping after him as he strolled off with exaggerated nonchalance in the direction of the mansion. (Honestly, it’s as if they expected me to hate gay people. I was on the receiving end of Nazi wrath, rather than the giving! Kid needs some logic.)
He proceeded in such a manner all the way into Charles’ study, entering cautiously so as not to disturb the professor, who was pouring over some calculations which looked dreadfully distasteful, even though Charles doubtlessly sensed his approach. He waited patiently as Charles finished.
“You’ll never guess what I just witnessed in your lovely grounds,” Erik stated, igniting Charles’ curiosity.
“What was it, my friend?” he said, brows drawing together in puzzlement.
“I think it would be best to show you,” Erik intoned, allowing some of the unnameable emotion inside him to spill into his voice, guiding the door closed – and locked – at the same time, and moved towards Charles, who had risen from behind his desk to stand leaning back upon it, facing Erik.
“I’d like to take it as advice.”
Erik guided the professor’s hand up to his own temple, aware that he was allowed to change the habitual gesture as it was symbolic only, and did not actually act as a conduit for Charles’ power.
Charles entered his mind, in which Erik kept his recently acquired memory swimming in Erik’s own love for Charles, as Erik brought their faces together for their second kis, but certainly not their last.