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"I don't understand," Dean said for the fourth or fifth time in the last hour.
Cas looked at Sam. Sam's eyebrow told Cas it was his turn to answer.
"We know, Dean," Cas said, as a high pitched cackle of laughter pierced the bunker air.
"Tell me again why is ladies' night happening here?" Dean glared at the bottle in his hand like the PorkSlap Hard Cider had caused the problem.
"Eileen's apartment has weevils," Sam said.
"Weevils? That's the excuse?"
"It's just a harmless type of beetle," Cas said, taking away Dean's beer.
"Hey," Dean said, trying to take it back without standing up. When he tipped out of his chair, Cas grabbed his arm and lowered him slowly to the floor.
Dean wound up half beneath the sit room map table and took the opportunity to lie all the way down. He started untying Cas's shoelaces and Cas chose to endure it.
In the study area, approximately thirty feet away, Rowena had climbed atop one of the tables. She too had forgone shoes, which would have made Cas feel better about Dean pulling off his shoes like they'd personally insulted him -- Dean was still wearing his own boots, Cas saw -- if she hadn't also chosen to hike up the skirts of her dramatic violet gown in order to more easily dance some sort of jig while Bess clapped on the downbeat.
"This would be even more impressive if there was music," Jody yelled at them from her spot in one of the large leather chairs. Donna was perched on the arm of her chair and giggling. They were both holding large drinks of an unusually frothy shade of pea green.
Sam was viewing the turn of events with an expression Cas recognized from one of the emoji on his phone. All teeth, all pain.
Eileen sauntered over just then. Or, rather, she sidled, sidewinded, slunk: she slithered up to Sam like she was sneaking up on him. Her drink was a glass of something amber hued. She waved the glass around as though she could hypnotise him with it, before seeming to remember that she could just drink it instead. She knocked back the mouthful, swallowed, wiped the back of her hand across her mouth, and said, "Ahhh," before tripping herself directly into his lap.
"This is fun," Sam said, to which Eileen said, "Liar!" before breaking into a cheeky grin.
"You may have him under your spell now, dearie," Rowena called over, "but can you keep him?"
She wagged her eyebrows at Sam and threw a hip in his direction.
"You can have him anytime," Eileen told her magnanimously.
"No she cannot," Sam said, his panicked eyes popping out of his pale face.
He looked to Cas for assistance. Cas wanted to help, with the admission that he had no idea what that would entail, since Rowena had started twirling in time with Bess's sped-up clapping, Donna and Jody were singing (or "singing") lyrics to go with the beat ("Tequila makes his clothes fall off" was one memorable line), and the whole of the study seemed suddenly full of shimmering smoke.
Cas stood up, slightly alarmed, and discovered he was shackled to the spot via Dean's hand around his ankle.
Dean otherwise appeared to have fallen asleep on his stomach.
The rest of the performance petered out in several minutes and the smoke cleared. Jody and Bess helped Rowena off the table. She wobbled for a moment but remained upright. Donna pressed a whole bottle of scotch into her hand. Rowena took a long draw, shook out the shivers from the swallow, and then yanked Donna down by the collar to kiss her directly on the mouth. Cas thought the technique seemed a tad sloppy; Donna, on the other hand, did not seem to mind.
Jody said, "Nine out of ten!" and Bess said, "Oh, it's only a six from me," and shook her head sadly.
"Too much tongue?" Jody asked.
"Not enough, really," Bess said, shrugging.
"Somebody play 'Freebird'!" Dean demanded from under the table. He had not actually woken up, nor released his hold on Cas.
On the other side of the table, Eileen was definitively winning whatever argument she may have had with Sam. Sam's mood had visibly been upgraded from horrified to ensorcelled.
Cas sat back down and reached for the nearest bottle of beer. Though he hated the taste it didn't seem like he had anything else to do for a while but get used to it. He was halfway listening to Donna talk about her last date and the food poisoning afterwards and Rowena's offer to find the gentleman and reduce him to ashes, when he felt one hand and then another gripping the backs of his calves.
He looked down to see Dean with his chin propped on Cas's right knee.
"It's ladies' night, leave them to it," Dean said.
"You were the one complaining about them being here," Cas reminded him, trying not to indulge that alcohol-glazed look in his eyes.
"Nah, I loooove the ladies." Dean hiccuped. "Come down here already."
Which was how Cas found himself on the floor under the table while the party raged on. At some point, Jody and Donna performed a scene from Dirty Dancing that Dean had always described as legendary, and Jody was knocked unconscious for a few seconds. Rowena braided Bess's hair, and then they, Donna, and Jody had a drinking contest that involved slurping liquids out of each other’s navels. Mostly, it was just a mess of laughing. Sam and Eileen had disappeared like ghosts shot with rock salt.
Cas too learned that Bess was right about kissing: the proper amount of tongue was essential. At least Dean had sobered up enough to make Bess proud, for which Cas was eternally grateful.