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Fan whined as Xie adjusted to get up, forcing enough energy into his prosthetics to grip his boyfriend tighter. It wasn’t much, he was so tired, and he was quite sure he couldn’t produce a mildly cold breeze right now, he had so little energy left in his aching body. Hard to move mechanical prosthetics when there was no power to supply to them. He calmed down for a split second when Xie stopped moving, hoping that meant his boyfriend wasn’t going to get up. But then he heard Xie sigh softly before gently petting Fan’s head with his own prosthetics. “Wujiu, you need to let go, love. It’s probably about time to get you some food and medicine. You won’t get over this if you don’t eat.”
Fan mildly shook his head and tried even harder to cling tighter, in only resulted in a slightly firmer twitch, but he was trying. He wasn’t hungry even though he was quite sure he hadn’t had anything to eat in… probably at least a day or two if Xie was thinking it was time to eat again. His boyfriend’s sense of time could not be trusted. And Fan sure didn’t know how long it had really been between consciousness and confusion. He just knew he was at least enjoying the company and attention after months of nothing. Fan took a wheezing breath before managing to push out “Please… don’t go Bibi…” Blurry vision trying its best to focus on Xie’s face, managing just enough to catch the worry before it was smoothed away with a smile. He felt Xie’s fingers pet his head again, and Fan couldn’t help but lean into the affection. Even as another whine left his throat as Xie’s other hand went to try and gently remove Fan’s clinging hands.
“Wujiu, you have to eat. I’ll be right back. I won’t leave you long, A-Jiu.” Fan shook his head again at that, as much as he had the energy to, causing dizziness to settle in, and his head to ache. But he knew that was a lie, even if Xie didn’t. He wasn’t confused enough to not know that.
“You… You always say that… but it’s days Bibi… Please… Please just stay here… Please…” ...Wasn’t he supposed to be keeping that secret? He couldn’t remember. Too late now. He just wanted Xie to stay. If this… whatever he was sick with was going to kill him, then as selfish as it was, he’d rather die in Xie’s arms than with Xie away again. He just… wanted more time with his boyfriend. He was so sick of being lonely. And he could feel more and more of his energy fleeing, Xie was trying his best to be attentive but… Well, his boyfriend couldn’t help his sense of time was fucked. And it wasn’t getting better on its own. Fan was under no illusion that it would. His chest hurt, his head ached, his body, in general, felt sore and numb. He was cold , and yet the ice that usually coated his face and parts of his body kept melting away. And really, Fan wasn’t used to feeling cold. Even in their permanent snowstorm, it wasn’t cold to them. But he was.
“Ah… Pardon?” Xie blinked down at him, a look of confusion on his face covering the reassuring smile he was trying for. But after a moment it appeared again, and this time Xie gently stroked Fan’s cheek. “You must be more confused than I thought… It can’t be that long, A-Jiu. Your sense of time must be escaping you with this fever. It’ll only be an hour at most.” Fan would laugh if he had the energy to, instead a cough tore itself from his chest again, hacking and heavy. Fan’s sense of time was escaping him? Well, it’s not like he could say for sure how long he’d been sick, but it wasn’t from time distortion but simply because he had no way to know as he slept for longer and longer. It was almost like some sick joke. But of course, Xie wouldn’t realize… wasn’t that a good thing? What Fan wanted? He couldn’t remember. But right now it was very inconvenient.
Xie finally managed to pry Fan’s fingers away and get up from the bed, causing another distressed whine to escape Fan’s throat. Xie then leaned down and pushed a gentle kiss to Fan’s forehead, another twitch of concern on his face as it still must feel too warm to his ice-covered boyfriend. Another pet to Fan’s cheek and a shiver as Fan felt Xie push a bit more cold into his skin to refresh the usual ice that was melting. “Please trust me, Wujiu. I’ll be right back, I promise.”
Fan shivered and whined. “Please Bibi…” What was he asking for anymore? Was it still for Xie to stay? Or that he actually be right this time and that he’ll be right back? Either way all Fan could do was beg. He didn’t want to be alone again. It ached. Everything ached. He was so tired.
“Right back. Promise.” Xie said with a final pet before slipping away and out the door, Fan’s blurry vision following him out the door as he tried his best to strangle down a sob. He’d be… right back. He had to be right back. Just this once please let him be right back… Fan watched the door and waited. He’d be right back. He promised. Fan wouldn’t be alone for long… His Bibi promised to be back.
His vision blurred more, energy depleting even as he did nothing but lay there trying his best to draw air into his sore lungs and stare at the door for when Xie came back. He kept staring until his eyes slipped closed against his will and he drifted to sleep. He stared again as he came to an unknown amount of time later and his boyfriend was still not back. He stared and begged as he was awake for shorter and shorter periods. Confusion making even those moments blurry and unfocused. All that kept going in his head was that
his Bibi would be back soon. He promised. Just a little… longer…
As his eyes slid closed again, no energy was left in his body to try and maintain consciousness, all of it going to try to fight the illness ravaging Fan’s body.
His Bibi would be back… he promised… he’ll be back… soon… then Fan could wake up… and hold him for a little longer… just… a little… longer… but… first some… more sleep...