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I’ve gotta get away and let you go
I’ve gotta get over
The last picture of them was in her room, at around 5 in the afternoon. Percy was sitting on her chair, basking on the light from the already setting sun, and she was taking him in all his glory, looking like a god in the golden hour. It was captured right before his mom’s birthday when he decided to spend the day with Annabeth before heading out of Long Island. Percy’s smile was wide, and his crinkled shirt made him look like a lost child.
They were twenty two.
And that was three years ago. Annabeth was completely out of college, having a decent paying job for a newly licensed architect, and now heading out of New York City for a months old project at Nevada. It wasn’t until then that she decided to do a little bit of unboxing, to find their pictures still safely intact in one drawer. There were letters written unclearly with a penmanship that’s hard to read, but she knew the words too well. Some shirts were folded neatly, and at the outside of the box the name “PERCY” was written in hasty writing.
She didn’t mean to ponder at the thought, but the way it had been so clear, that exact same memory starts rushing back to her. With one hand, she rushed to open the book of their developed pictures, and the memory stings her.
One of them was a polaroid of them dancing at a parking lot at night, and the other was a winter celebrated at the frozen lake at Central park. Pictures of Christmas and halloween costumes, friends they were associated with, anniversaries, and most importantly, Percy Jackson’s stolen polaroid pictures at her bedroom during afternoon hang outs.
It was a lot to take in, but she smiled at the way his green eyes were always so vivid when exposed to the warm light. He was always sitting on her windowsill, looking down at strangers on the street while eating blue ice cream, grinning like a fool, but his eyes were always kind. He was the man Annabeth was in love with years before they were together, and she knew that no one can come close to what Percy gave her. But the years weren’t so kind to her, and now she’s lost him, and he’s never coming back.
An abrupt knock interrupted her thought, and she rushed to wipe the budding tears from her eyes.
“Yes?” Annabeth asked.
“It’s Luke!” The man behind the door had said before Annabeth opened it for him. He stood at the doorway looking pleased to see the already clean room, looking rather excited than usual. “You cleaned up nice. Now we gotta go real fast before the flight. You don’t want to miss the cliff side do you?”
Annabeth was quick to nod, shutting down the box and handing it to Luke, who kept shut when he saw the name written on it. She took a last look of her bedroom, and the image of him looking at the windowsill smiling burned her mind.
Luke was already running the engine when she got out of the house, locking the door behind her and taking a breath to stop herself from crying. Her seatbelt was buckled and ready, but it didn’t change the hesitation on her mind.
“Rain check?” Annabeth asked Luke, and he scrolled through the phone to confirm it.
“Relax, okay?” He said. “No rain today. Anyway, expect a call from Mrs. Jackson, the box is already in the backseat.”
“Can we stop at the flower shop? I requested some custom.”
“No problem.” Luke nodded.
It was an awful good day, Annabeth noticed. It was pretty windy and sunny at the same time, but clouds were still forming from the distance. Her voice was shaking and her hands were clammy, and her heart was beating remotely fast. The anxiety was building up in her, and she felt like she wanted to cry. It wasn’t fair, everything. Why was the weather so good?
The flower shop was only two miles away, and it was only 4: 30 in the afternoon, so they still had a lot of time for their evening flight. Annabeth ordered a full bouquet of blue customized daffodils and some white lilies and the store did not disappoint. It was amazing to look at, but it makes her sad just seeing it.
It wasn’t long when Mrs. Jackson, Sally, as what she wanted to be called, was calling her. It isn’t unusual for them to call, and usually it would take them a good hour of conversation, but today it had only gone by for minutes.
“Sally, hey!” Annabeth smiled over the phone, carefully nit picking the small flaws of the flower arrangement so as to be flawless. “I’ve got the…I’ve got...the package...”
Sally interrupted her first. “I’ve been through your situation before Annabeth, and I know, it’s finally time. You know it yourself. I give you the privilege to do so.”
And it was those words that made her want to cry a little bit harder, clutching the box on her hand along with the bouquet she was trying to pick on. Her hands shook as Sally’s word echoed on the small car, and Annabeth had the urge to have another abrupt breakdown.
“He loved you so much...and he knew three years was already enough for you to suffer, Annie. It’s okay.”
The call ended with Annabeth quietly sobbing in the car. Sally was right. She knew she was always right, and Annabeth was just stubborn as hell and refused to do so. Even muttering his name makes her cry, but Annabeth needs to do this. She looked at the last message he had on her phone, from exactly three years ago.
Are you still there?
And it was the exact moment she had called for the ambulance to rush him in, only for him to be announced DOA. Annabeth was in complete wreck, taking a huge time off school for her to recover, but until now flashbacks were on her mind. It must have been hard for his mom, seeing him like that, because she knew the heartbreak was unexplainable.
It didn’t take her long to open the windows, a cool breeze hitting her face as they reached the sea side, the ocean waves roaring at her right side while the sedan sped up. It took them a good hour to park on the cliffside, with Luke giving her the privacy she wanted, sitting in his car while she headed up the hill. Annabeth brought the bouquet of flowers with her, and the small enclosed box waiting to be opened; lastly, the framed picture of Percy Jackson in his suit, smiling at the camera as if everything was perfect. And for a moment, it is.
She remembered seeing him at the hospital, body covered in blood while his beautiful face was bruised, lips charred and blue. His hair was damp like he just went out for a quick soak in the rain, but the blood had dried up in the side of his mouth. Pieces of glass were everywhere, and in his hand was a phone with Annabeth’s number registered, the screen cracked but still of use. He had a small smile on his face, but Annabeth thought it wasn’t fair. How could he smile at that moment?
She started crying, opening the small box and spreading the ashes, waiting for the ocean breeze to take away her lover. Sally’s words rang on her head. It’s okay. You have to let him go.
And at that moment, Annabeth can only see their memories fading away like he was.
I'm gonna pack my things and leave you behind
This feeling's old and I know that i’ve made up my mind
“How many kids do you want?” Annabeth asked.
Percy’s eyes were hard to read, but he had a grin before answering her question. “I dunno... like, five?”
Annabeth rolled her eyes. “Kids, Percy. Not candies.”
Percy laughed and pulled her closer to him, which was totally unnecessary but Percy just liked hugging her from behind when she was studying. Her eyes were withdrawn from the amount of text books on her desk as Percy was half hugging her and half lying on the bed they were on. His laugh was something else, and Annabeth finds him so distracting, in a good way.
“Ten. Final answer.”
And Annabeth was smacking his arm with her book, smiling so softly at her boyfriend’s childish answer. “Ten?! What am I, a machine?!”
Percy grinned and faked his gasp. “Oh...you mean our children? I wasn’t informed you were into me, Annabeth.”
“You were the one flirting with me since high school.” Annabeth reminded him as he sat up and looked over at Annabeth’s neat handwritten notes. Percy kissed her forehead, this time, completely hugging her.
“Three kids.” Percy smiled. “Ideally. But I would respect whatever you want.”
“I could go with that.” She agrees. “And two dogs.”
Percy smiled.
I hope you feel what I felt when you shattered my soul
Cause you were cool and I’m a fool so please let me go
“Marry me.” Percy blurted, randomly at three o'clock in the morning, over a steak take out and a wide range of disney movies.
“Right now?” Annabeth asked, eating instant ramen on her pajamas without averting her eyes on the screen. “We’re in the middle of a ratatouille movie, Percy. Do you want to get married on a Saturday night?”
“I love you.” He shrugged, opening the powdered donuts they might have added on the cart while his mom was grocery shopping with them. College was rough, but it’s not as rough with Percy so constantly on her side, basically living with her for years and acting like a married couple that they secretly were. In her defense, Percy has asked her about a hundred times to get married randomly, but seeing him on his black shirt filled with sugar was enough to make her feel things. “ I love you sooooo… ”
He started singing out of tune, but it sounded pretty familiar.
“Marry me, Percy Jackson.” She said, “I want to be the one who asks.”
Percy looked at her, pouting. “That’s not even asking.”
Annabeth smiled.
“Will you marry me, Percy?”
But I love you so
I love you so
“I just don’t want you driving in the rain, Percy. Is that too much to ask?” Annabeth rolled her eyes, crossing her arms on the man already standing on the doorway. Percy was smiling at her, as always, but it was something about the evening that made her so uncomfortable, almost completely wanting Percy to stay in the night. But this was Percy, and he sure was stubborn as hell. He needs to be there in time for his mom’s birthday, and Annabeth knew that he wouldn’t miss it in the world, no matter what.
Annabeth was adamant to let him go, but with one quick kiss, and a small argument later, she saw his car already driving down the road, pursuing the cold rain during the evening. Her mind drifted off unnoticed, sitting on her bed and fumbling her phone, thinking whether she should call him or not. He had invited her to rollerblade with his family that weekend, which she gladly accepted. There was something about the Jackson’s that made her feel so much at home.
She contemplated for what seemed like an hour before calling Percy, telling him to drive safe until she found out he’d been in an accident, in which Annabeth had called an ambulance immediately using her dad’s phone. She remembered the words he had told her, and she remembered calming him down before the ambulance arrived. Percy was scared of thunder and she knew that.
“Are you still there?” He had asked her, but his voice sounded weak from the rain.
“I’m still here.” Annabeth had reassured him over and over. “Will I see you in the morning?”
She can almost hear the small laugh at his tone. “You will.”
“I love you, Percy.”
Are you still there?
I love you so
(Please let me go)
I love you so...
(Please let me go)