Archive of Our Own ^beta

Stay alive.

That’s the only thing Yoo Kihyun can say in the midst of an apocalypse. The irony of living in Seoul for a more civilised and progressive living but all it brought to him now was danger . 

It started in Gimpo. Kihyun was still far from it but it was already all over the news. An outbreak from a laboratory test that went wrong. The greed of a scientist to give up his work to the government as it already imposed harm. Harm for everyone living in South Korea. 

It started with plants. Plants that suddenly started to move on its own wrapping its stem, as its own arms, around a person’s leg pulling them closer . Stems growing sharp nodes ripping a human’s skin open, spreading the virus.

Then it moved to animals. The metaphor of raining cats and dogs became literal as cats will randomly appear to scratch you with the virus and a dog bite would take away your sanity– even kill you because of the effect of the virus.

And it was fine for a period of time. The laboratory centre was able to encapsulate the virus infected tests inside a high security dome that kept the rest of South Korea safe. High security walls separating them from the open. 

But the pride of the scientist rose. The virus was going well, the tests have a possibility to save them from possible war, as the government asked for. He was so close to finalising the virus substance that would create Bioweapons. So he continued. He did what he could to the substance. Improving it . Adding more fluids, increasing the strength that could easily kill, easily infect. Making it more dangerous than ever.

The government heard about it and decided to shut down the pharmaceutical laboratory completely, causing the scientist to show his greediness towards his work. He found a way to spread the virus all over the country and just like a snap of a finger, making most humans lose their sanity. 

And that was how it transferred to humans passing on 514-Virus around Gimpo, now moving to Seoul, affecting the most number of humans it could. 

“I still can’t believe Professor Kim did that.” Hyunwoo exclaimed after explaining the virus going around in the past month, “I saw it with my own two eyes. The way he injected the virus to himself and how the human body reacted to it so quickly.” 

Kihyun was in his room when the outbreak happened. Getting the memo from Hyunwoo that something bad might happen, he immediately got as many guns and bullets as he could as suggested by Hyunwoo. Buying it was somewhat easier knowing the news about the scientist spread all over the country. He was never that physical to start off, so something that could protect him would be a big help.

He couldn’t help but curse modern technology and how it progressed the world into something worse than better. Deadly wars were not even that common anymore. It would burst out once every a hundred years, so what’s the point of creating bioweapons that could kill every living object within sight? 

Infected.

That’s the most valid name you could call them. 514-Virus infected person would be too long to scream if you see one behind another sane person to save them from getting infected. In fact, you don’t scream anymore– you just shoot and run.

Yes, there is a zombie outbreak in the Republic of South Korea spreading fast to Seoul and if it's not stopped soon, the entire South Korea would be fucked. 

The day it arrived in Seoul, Hyunwoo was already there to take Kihyun and their other friend, Jooheon, far from Seoul. The virus has become so widespread that the southern borders of Korea is probably the safest place to be. 

Even if it was suggested to stay indoors, there weren’t any assurances in Seoul as some citizens were taking advantage of the situation, acting like it was a nationwide purge. But seeing an infected inside of their building, it was hard to be sure if staying indoors was even considered safe.

So they left Seoul.

The car lasted for a month. They were able to run over the infected on their way. Avoiding streets that were blocked because of dead bodies. Mercy is the last thing they could think of right now. Thinking about what those people were before their lives were taken over by an infection. Some were students. Some wore a police uniform. Some were even doctors. It saddened them thinking about what their future could’ve been. As much as possible, they try their best not to kill the infected so they’ll still have a chance to live once a cure is generated. That is, if a cure would be generated.

And being inside the car is probably the safest place for now.

“We’ll need to get out of this car sooner or later, huh?” Jooheon asked, looking at the badly beaten car. 

“Is Mokpo still the safest place?” Kihyun asked, unsure whether they should still go for it or not.

“Hoseok told me they’re still working on the cure. Ironically, the safest place is the laboratory because most of the tests were close to being cured,” Hyunwoo still had ties with the pharmaceutical laboratory for safety, updating themselves with the situation. As much as he wanted to save the world, Hyunwoo decided to start small and saved himself and his friends from the chaos in the capital, “We’re already halfway to Mokpo, let’s just go for it.”

Their initial plan was to go to Mokpo, hearing that the place was still safe and the farthest from Gimpo. They were lucky enough that Hyunwoo knew someone from Mokpo so they could have a place to stay. 

When the virus reached Seoul, they didn’t expect that it would only take a week for it to spread up to Daejeon, blocking their way of going there. They had to stay for a week there, trying to figure out which way was the fastest but hearing from Hyunwoo’s connections, the virus became widespread. They had to be discreet in their move, avoiding what seemed like crowded roads and green areas. That’s why even after a month, they still haven’t reached a place that would normally take them only six hours to get to.

“I think we really need to settle somewhere, or at least get another car?” Jooheon whined, trying to steer the beaten up car. “Mokpo is still so far from my imagination and I don’t think we can make it with this car.” 

“Walking would be dangerous too.” Hyunwoo pointed out. “It would be tiring and we only have limited bullets.”

Kihyun stayed quiet, one thought in mind. “Does it have to be Mokpo?” He quietly asked, “I think we should find shelter.” 

“What’s the next station after Daejeon?” Jooheon asked, “Maybe the car could still manage to skip Daejeon a little.”

Hyunwoo brought out the train map they’ve been following, since the mobile connections were cut and the radio has been unstable because of the situation and there weren’t any other maps available. It would be pure luck if they’re able to contact Hoseok through a dying walkie-talkie. “Following the Honam line, it’s Seodajeon but that’s too close to each other. If we distance ourselves a little, it’s Iksan.”

“Do you think it reached there?” Kihyun asked. Hyunwoo could only shrug unsure of how quickly the virus spreads. “It’s already near Gwangju.” He unconsciously suggested, even if none of them live in Gwangju.

“Mokpo was just a hypothetical place that would be safe.” Hyunwoo tried to explain. “But knowing that it reached Daejeon fast, I’m just hoping it would spread in the other direction– to Busan. Maybe we can settle in a place in Gwangju. Hoseok suggested it too because he knew someone from there.” 

Kihyun sighed looking out the empty highway, searching for some hope of safety .  

If you were to ask Kihyun how he’d see himself one month from that day, he didn’t expect to be running for his life trying to stay alive. It was only luck that they still have a working car, refilling the gas and taking food to live from every gas station they see. But as they get farther from the starting place, the more they feel tired of trying to figure out a way. He loses a reason to stay alive.

“ Uhm , guys.” Jooheon called out, stepping foot on the breaks. “We have a situation.” 

Kihyun leaned closer to the front seat, seeing a couple of infected swarm around a gasoline station ahead of them. There were probably 10 of them outside, but you could never tell how many were inside the convenience store. “It would be hard to pass by them quietly. The road is too narrow.” He mentioned noticing the situation Jooheon was talking about. 

“There’s a car.” Hyunwoo noticed, “It’s not as beat up as ours and it’s quite big.”

“And there are infected ones around it, in case you didn’t notice.” Jooheon nagged back at Hyunwoo who seemed to focus on something else. 

Kihyun thought they could just step on the engine and drive faster than usual for a couple of meters, enough to keep a distance from the infected since they don’t really move that fast. He was about to suggest such, not until they heard a gun go off from the other side of the store. 

Jooheon tried to move the car a little bit, getting a closer look on what was happening. They saw two people were trying to fight off the infected ones around the car, only luring more of them because of the sound. “You think they’re not infected?” Kihyun asked, unsure whether they should at least make a move because this was the first time they saw normal people in a month other than themselves. 

“I think we should help them.” Jooheon announced, reaching for the knife on his waist belt, “The least we could do in this situation is to keep people sane.” 

Hyunwoo seemed to agree but Kihyun seemed a little hesitant to join another group. “If we try to get their attention, we might lose our car.” Kihyun spoke out his thoughts, trying to convince his friends that they should just pass by them. “We’ll end up getting attention here.”

“Maybe we can share that car. It’s definitely bigger than ours.” Hyunwoo confidently said, making Kihyun have a little spark of hope with Hyunwoo’s confidence. “Step on it.”

Jooheon did as told, doing what they always did whenever they would encounter a pack of infected along their way.  Stepping on the engine, letting out a loud roar, the infected turned to their direction. “As expected.” Jooheon smirked before he fully stepped on the engine, running over some of them. 

The people they spotted stopped shooting when they noticed the infected going in a different direction. Kihyun had no choice, not even thinking twice before he opened the door slamming right at the infected that was scratching over his side of the door. 

Jooheon and Hyunwoo settled for a machete, to avoid luring more infected to the area because of a  gun noise, chopping off parts of the infected body until they stopped moving. Kihyun quietly made his way closer to the station, stabbing a few of them with his pocket knife along the way. So much for trying not to kill a lot of people.

The car that Hyunwoo noticed not too long ago actually had someone inside of it. Kihyun’s eyes met with widely opened ones inside the car who seemed to be fazed by the situation of infected ones swarming around him. Kihyun thought that he looked somewhat familiar but right now wouldn’t be the perfect time to figure out where he’d seen him before.

He waved at the person proving that he was not infected. He saw the person let out a relieved sigh, loosening his grip on the steering wheel, before he rolled down the window. “Y-You’re not infected?” His quiet voice asked, making Kihyun smile reassuringly, glad to hear a soft new voice other than Hyunwoo and Jooheon “I thought everyone was already infected.” 

Kihyun heard another gun go off inside the store, making the person in front of him flinch. “Stay here, okay?” He said, reassuring the person. “And close your window. Don’t go out.” He added seeing that the gun shot lured a couple of infected ones back to the station. 

Hyunwoo and Jooheon tried to decapitate all the infected ones near their car, killing almost all of the ones outside the station. They could see another wave of them arriving from afar, knowing they needed to evacuate the station faster. 

Kihyun heard continuous gunshots coming from the back door of the store. He noticed someone was still inside, passing by that person first who was surprised to see him. The man quickly pointed his gun at Kihyun, making him raise his hands up. But the moment he noticed it was a normal person, he slowly lowered the gun, eyeing him from head to toe, “You’re one of those people from the car?” The person asked too harshly but Kihyun just nodded in confirmation.

Kihyun noticed the person had a bag full of food, probably stocking supplies for the next few days. Instead of commenting on the food, he handed the person his spare knife. “Stop shooting. It will only lure more of them.” He calmly suggested, offering his knife instead, “My friends already cleared the front of the gas station. I’m going to help your friend over there.” 

Your friend who seemed to be luring more than killing. Kihyun thought, making his way to the back of the store to see someone get surrounded by more infected ones.

“Changkyun!” The person called out the moment he opened the door, hearing the bell on the door ring.

Kihyun froze. 

The voice sounded too familiar in Kihyun’s head. Too familiar to not know whose voice it was.

It sounded like the same voice he used to hear everyday— the moment he wakes up until the time he falls asleep.. 

No, it can’t be.

“Hyung!” The person Kihyun had encountered from the inside of the store answered, pushing him aside. 

“Tell Minhyuk to start the car. We need to leave this place!” That person screamed again making Changkyun, a name he learned just now, rush back to the other side of the station.

Kihyun stood in his place, watching the person fire at the incoming wave of infected. Minhyuk. A name he had heard of before, making sense why the person in the car looked familiar to him. He tried to familiarise himself with the voice and the physique of the person from the back, trying to make sure if this person was really him. But he noticed a couple of infected making its way from the direction of his back.

Quickly, Kihyun made his way towards that person but the infected got there first, getting a hold of that person, as he fell on the ground, trying to push the infected away, “ Shit!” He heard that person cuss, struggling to get his gun that he dropped, making Kihyun sigh and pull his gun out to shoot the infected himself.

That was when he saw the person’s face, eyes locking with his from afar.

How could he forget his voice?

“K-Kihyun?” He heard him say in surprise. His name smoothly rolled in the person’s tongue, feeling different than the voices he heard earlier. 

It wasn’t bliss anymore .

It was something that used to be bliss but now it was pain . 

Instead of answering, Kihyun shot another infected that he noticed going near the other. “Didn’t expect we’d meet again like this.” Kihyun curtly said, finishing all of the infected coming from the back, moving to the ones he was trying to fight off, “Go to the front of the station. I’ll finish this off.” 

“But—”

“Just go.” Kihyun dismissed showing off what was at hand. 

Without hesitation, Kihyun threw a flash bomb where the infected were coming from before he rushed back to the front of the station himself. He saw Hyunwoo and Jooheon all covered in splatters of blood from killing the infected discreetly with their machetes. 

Jooheon didn’t really take note of Kihyun’s arrival, rather he was surprised to see who was with him, “Hyungwon hyung?”

“Jooheon-ah!” Hyungwon returned running towards Jooheon, pulling him into a hug. “It’s been a while! How are you?”

Before Jooheon could even reply, Hyunwoo interrupted the two, “Now is not the time to have a reunion when there’s more infected on their way.” 

Kihyun bit his lip, not really expecting anything that had happened— and was happening. Hearing the flash bomb go off, he proceeded to regret his decision of saving these people from the infected. Wasting his energy to meet people like him again.

They looked at Kihyun after hearing the unusual sound, remembering he was the last one to arrive at the front of the station, “It will only hold them for a while.” He quietly spoke, not fond of all eyes at him. “We need to leave.”  He said to Hyunwoo and Jooheon.

Unconsciously, Kihyun turned to the direction of their beaten up car that everyone else seemed to notice. The car that had been beaten up more because they stopped in this damned gasoline station. He didn’t even realise he was about to get in that damned car until someone spoke. 

“Thank you for helping us.” Kihyun turned to see Minhyuk speaking to him directly, “But I don’t think you’ll go any further with that car. Let us help you in return.” 

Briefly glancing at Hyunwoo and Jooheon who seemed to be surprised at the offer, despite it being their plan, Kihyun shook his head, politely declining. “We have a place to go to.” He tried to reason out, half lying, “We’re probably not heading the same way.” 

“We insist.” Changkyun joined the conversation, showing the bag of food he collected from the store, “I thought you’d join us. So I made sure to grab extra food as a thank you for the help. And it seems like we know each other anyway.” He added, looking at Hyungwon and Jooheon’s direction. 

Kihyun felt Jooheon nudge him from the side, definitely staring at the food that was offered, remembering they don't have as much in their car left. 

But Kihyun was too firm in his decision and only Jooheon could understand why.

“I really don’t—”

“It would be better for us to stick together.” Hyungwon finally spoke, somewhat figuring out why Kihyun was declining when Hyunwoo and Jooheon looked interested in the offer, “So far, we’re the only ones not infected and that’s a reason why we should have each other’s backs. It’s not usual to see a familiar face in the middle of an outbreak.”

“I don’t want to be anywhere near you.”  Kihyun bitterly said, surprising everyone who seemed to not be grasping the situation, “Just because I saved you doesn’t mean I’m fine with being near you.” He doesn’t know why but he could feel a small pang in his chest only at the sight of him and he doesn’t know for what reason. Hate? Anger? Hurt? Longing?

Hyungwon sighed, confirming his assumptions why Kihyun was firm to decline such an offer. He was about to answer back when a static sound was heard— “Hyunwoo?” They all turned to Hyunwoo who seemed to have picked up a signal, connecting him to Hoseok from the walkie-talkie.

“Hoseok!” Hyunwoo called out, putting the device closer to his face, “Hello?”

“Oh! Where are you now?” They all heard Hoseok speak from the walkie-talkie, hard to understand from a distance. “I had contact with my other friend’s GPS for a minute and saw they were somewhere around Daejeon. Did you see a gasoline station?”

“Hoseokie hyung?” Changkyun exclaimed, taking the device from Hyunwoo, “Lee Hoseok?”

“Fuck—” Hoseok swore through the static, “Kyun-ah? Is that you?”

“Oh my god, you’re alive.” Changkyun sighed in relief, eyes glistening at the walkie-talkie at hand, “I thought I won’t hear from you again.”

“Well…” He trailed off, probably ecstatic to hear the voice of his friend as well, “Hyunwoo, I think you found my friends.”

At that, Kihyun felt himself shivering at the coincidental event right in front of him— too much of a coincidence to see a familiar face and now a group of people who they will be forced to stick with. That group of people having that familiar face with them.

“We’re heading to Iksan now.” Hyunwoo said, exposing their current plan to the group of people with them, when Changkyun offered him back the device, “We’ll probably look for a place to evacuate for a while.” 

Hoseok hummed through the device, probably checking statistics from the laboratory, “Iksan seems safe. You guys should better get going. I’ll follow after a few days. Stay safe.” 

With that the connection was cut, everyone looked back at Kihyun. 

With a click of his tongue, Kihyun sighed too loudly, eyes closed, not really liking how the situation turned out for him, “I guess we should start moving some of our stuff to their car.” Kihyun gritted, forced to say something he doesn’t really want to speak of.

He heard Jooheon squeal in joy, finally getting him to approve of the situation before they moved their things to the other group’s car, joining them in their road trip to safety.

The car was spacious. It was more of a van than a car, giving all six of them enough personal space. Their air conditioning was working well after refueling from the gasoline station where they had met and having the chance to change the battery of the car while they were at it.

Kihyun leaned against the window, watching as they passed by clear roads on their way to Iksan. Minhyuk, the person behind the wheel that he had and remembering that he was Hyungwon’s best friend, was in charge of driving because he doesn’t really fully trust his car to Jooheon as of the moment. But he knew they would switch places eventually. Hyunwoo was given the front seat because of his map reading skills, making conversations with Minhyuk while the rest of them spread out in the back seat. 

Beside Kihyun were their stuff as he decided to take a seat in the far back of the car. He could hear Changkyun joining Hyunwoo and Minhyuk’s conversation every now and then asking if they’re still far or if Hyunwoo got to contact Hoseok again. 

Kihyun learned that Changkyun was Hoseok’s little brother in high school because of their same organisation. They both went to the same college in Seoul to pursue their dreams. Hoseok became a chemist while Changkyun was still finishing his degree in medicine. Not too long, Hoseok got reassigned to Gimpo along with Hyunwoo where the pharmaceutical laboratory was located. 

Other than that, he could hear the reunion of Jooheon and Hyungwon continuing inside the car, asking what had happened to them in the past few months. Kihyun couldn’t be bothered enough to listen to them though. Hearing their laughter fill the car, his hand clenching a fist trying to hold back his annoyance. 

Kihyun has always been a man of patience, or so he tries . He doesn’t give up so easily nor does he get annoyed easily. He wasn’t that vocal about his emotions for starters, until one person .

He remembered moving to Seoul for the first time, feeling homesick and missing his family who did everything so he could come here with Hyunwoo. He didn’t live far from Seoul but it still felt foreign to him. He met Jooheon that same day who he entrusted as a roommate and he tried his best not to disappoint him.

He remembered that day when Chae Hyungwon randomly appeared at his doorstep to visit Jooheon who wasn’t home. He remembered the feeling of homesickness that faded away that same day when he nonchalantly said, “You must be Kihyun, Jooheon’s new roommate?” He remembered the way his name rolled in his tongue, voice sending bliss to him as the perfect comfort.

He never trusted anyone so fast just because of that feeling. It was the first time in months he felt home after moving to Seoul. And everywhere he goes as long as he is with him, it feels like home. 

Felt like home.

Because now, it’s not the same anymore. In fact, he doesn’t know what he feels towards that person anymore.

“Ki?” Hyunwoo called out from the front seat, “We’re at Iksan. You think we could settle for a place here?”

Looking out, he saw the city wasn’t as different as any cities they’ve been to. At least, the roads were a little clearer from infected scattered on the roads, making their driving a little smoother than usual, lessening the detours and bumpy roads. “You think there are still people here?” Changkyun asked, looking out at the unusually clear area.

“Highly doubt there’s someone freely walking. Probably hiding in buildings,” Kihyun sighed, asking Minhyuk to go around farther to the city, with lesser buildings. The only thing Kihyun was sure of was the more buildings there were, the more the infected or humans roaming around that area. 

After roaming around for a few hours, right before sunset, Minhyuk found a place near the border of Iksan and Gimje. It wasn’t that industrialised. It seemed like a small town with a few buildings and stores. He stopped exactly at a motel looking place, parking the car in front of it, “This place looks decent for refuge,” Jooheon pointed out before they all went down, distributing the things they have per person in case of emergency. 

Kihyun, Hyunwoo, and Jooheon experienced staying at a place for rest, only to wake up with all of their food gone. They know there are still a lot of sane people out there but the fight for survival is too tight. Some would shoot their car, thinking they were infected people or in an attempt to steal it. They rarely interacted with people, so helping this group was a rash decision Kihyun made, trusting his friends.

He would be lying if he said he doesn’t regret it. 

“I’m going in first to check if it’s safe,” Hyungwon announced with a firm grip around the gun. 

Kihyun scoffed, pushing him to the side, going inside the motel first completely ignoring the announcement the other had made. Pushing the glass doors open, “Oh?” He heard from his side, thoughts wondering the same thing.

He doesn’t really have much to be afraid of anymore, going further inside the motel. The lobby was a small area with a couple of dead plants at the corners. Kihyun went behind the counter, finding a card that read Master Key. He continued to walk further inside where a hall of doors welcomed him.

And maybe a little someone at the end of the hall. He heard someone gasp from behind him, the infected quickly turned to look where the sound came from before it came rushing towards their direction, Kihyun pulling out his machete in time to hit the infected, splattering blood all over the walls and a decapitated head landing on the floor making a loud thud. “That infected moved faster than expected,” Kihyun whispered more to himself, unfazed but lucky enough he was able to draw the machete out in time.

Using the key card obtained, he ignored the person who was following him, watching him go to a different room than the one he accessed. He roamed around the first room, until the bathroom, seeing it was clear before he went to the next, clearing all of the rooms in the east hall. 

Kihyun thought about how Hyungwon could manage on his own, clearing the other side of the motel. At times like this, he thought he couldn’t be bothered anymore but hearing a door slam shut too loudly and a growl coming from that same room, he groaned knowing there must be an infected in one of the rooms at the west hall where Hyungwon came in. 

Unlocking the door where the screams were coming from, his eyes met with Hyungwon who was struggling to break free from a large grip on his neck, “You need to stop getting in trouble,” Kihyun groaned, throwing a sharp knife right at the infected’s arm, releasing Hyungwon from its grip. The infected snarled at him,  “Stay sharp,” Kihyun added before turning his back from the scene.

Hyungwon rushed to get the knife he dropped, stabbing the infected right at the neck, killing it. He went out, taking a chair with him and pushing it by the door knob to prevent that room from being opened again.

“Saved your ass twice ,” Kihyun said, emphasising the word twice, before walking back outside where his friends were waiting. Hyungwon was dumbfounded, still trying to catch his own breath from the grasp of the infected.

“Cleared?” Hyunwoo asked, excited to finally get a proper rest. Kihyun nodded in acknowledgement, making the rest of them cheer. 

“There were two infected, probably the staff before they got infected,” Kihyun answered, “I’ll probably burn them down tonight so it won’t attract uninvited visitors.” 

“We’ll have a bonfire then,” Minhyuk suggested, freezing from waiting outside.

At that, Kihyun realised it was already the transition from summer to autumn. He didn’t even notice the leaves falling from the trees, too focused on surviving another day. They have no idea how long this will last, worried about how they’re gonna live when the winter comes.

They all settled in the biggest room in the east hall. Agreeing to stay in the same room in case someone bursts inside. They took turns in taking a bath, lucky enough there was still enough reserved water for them and as planned, a bonfire in the middle making them warm.

They agreed on a shift on which pair stays up that night to watch over the property in case someone barges in and raids them or whenever there would be a wave of infected coming. Kihyun was paired with Minhyuk feeling like he wasn’t the type to fight off the infected, whereas Kihyun already got accustomed to it.

For now, Kihyun enjoyed the warmth of the fire— deep in thought, just like any other day in the past month, thinking how he ended up in this situation. Not the outbreak situation anymore but the situation where he was inside the same four walls as someone he doesn’t want to see anymore.

That night, Changkyun and Jooheon offered to be on the lookout, quickly becoming friends. Minhyuk roamed around the rest of the motel, hoping the hotel still had supplies on their own, with Hyungwon. Kihyun sat by the fire alone, resting.

Or that was until Hyunwoo sat beside him, all covered up with the duvet they took from the storage at the back, obviously wanting to start a conversation.

“So Hyungwon,” Hyunwoo casually mumbled, “Never heard that name before.” 

Kihyun frowned, not interested in the topic Hyunwoo chose to open, “You were too busy in Gimpo,” He pointed out, “Never really had the chance to introduce him to you.”

“What’s the point in introducing him now, eh?” Hyunwoo grimaced, understanding the situation based on what happened the entire day, “I don’t know what he did but he must’ve done something really bad for you to be that upset.”

Kihyun thinks about it again. Memories of what happened before clear as water flowed down the stream inside his head. 

“I don’t know,” Kihyun replied nonchalantly, “I’ve already forgotten about it.” He lied through a wide smile, “It’s not like it matters now.”

But the problem was, it did matter to Kihyun. It mattered a lot to him and Hyungwon made him feel like it was nothing. He could still feel his heart hurting sometimes but he couldn’t be bothered to figure out why, or maybe he does know why but simply can’t accept it.

Hyunwoo hummed, “I know you,” He simply said, making Kihyun let out a breathless laugh.

Kihyun gripped on the blanket around him tighter, overflowing with body language in Hyunwoo’s eyes. “I know,” He repeated an opposite answer, “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“You know, we’re going to be sticking together starting today,” Hyunwoo said, lying down to position himself to sleep, “Sooner or later, it’s inevitable that you will talk to him.”

Kihyun let out a sigh, feeling his heart clenched. He knew that too.

Staying there for two days made them realise their supplies will run out soon if they don’t leave the motel at least once for a supply run. Since Iksan isn’t that much of a big city, they were able to find a few places where they could get their food and even clothes, running back and forth each day.

For a week, the days at the motel became a normal day for them. They would wake up, run for supplies, stay up if you’re the look out, kill a couple of infected and fight off assailants who disturb their stay. They were on the course of fixing the lock of the front door of the motel so that no one would attempt to barge in anymore.

Kihyun was able to live a week completely ignoring Hyungwon’s presence. He was able to get to know Minhyuk more in their nights of being the look out, finding out that he was only a few days older than him, and Changkyun was younger establishing the formalities with each other. 

It amused Kihyun to learn that Minhyuk works under the same company as him before the outbreak happened. The only difference was Minhyuk recently moved under the casting section whereas Kihyun was in the production section. But even if it was on a normal day, Kihyun wouldn’t meet Minhyuk at all since their only connection broke it off with him. And Kihyun was thankful enough that Minhyuk wasn’t asking much questions about him and Hyungwon. 

Both wondered will they ever be able to get back to their old lives after everything? Will this even have an end?

Today was like any other normal day, what made it different was the static from Hyunwoo’s walkie-talkie. “Hyunwoo?” They all heard rushing closer to Hyunwoo. The voice was somewhat clearer this time, which relaxed them a little knowing Hoseok might be near now. “I’m in Iksan now. Which motel is that again?”

“Hyung!” Changkyun shrieked in excitement, standing the nearest to Hyunwoo, “It’s in the small town in the west. It’s called Bad Suns Motel .”

“Wait, I think I see it.” Hoseok said, “Is that Jooheon by the counter– Joo!” 

The connection was cut, everyone rushed out to the lobby to see a not-so-fresh looking Hoseok. Changkyun was quick enough to envelope him into a hug right after he saw the rest of the group welcome him, “You guys survived well,” He commented, seeing everyone look clean– as if they weren’t in the middle of an apocalypse, “Good call staying at a motel.”

“How’s the situation?” Hyunwoo couldn’t help but ask, still wondering why Hoseok decided to follow them here now when he is safe at the laboratory. 

Instead of answering, Hoseok reached out for his bag bringing out a test tube, “Hypothetically, the virus is latent inside of humans. No one knows how it spread yet but we were able to generate a temporary cure,” He showed proudly, “They’re still figuring out how to shower the entire country with the cure but for now, we have this.” 

Everyone cheered at Hoseok’s arrival and good news. Probably planning a feast for the night because of the canned goods Kihyun and Minhyuk got from the last supply run. It comforted them to know that this situation would somehow have an end.

But Kihyun couldn’t help but ask, noting the choice of words, “What do you mean temporary ?” 

“It worked for the plants and the animals left in the laboratory. Even on humans. I suggest all of you take a shot each,” Hoseok explained. The others wondered what was the problem in that. But before anyone asked, Hoseok continued, “But we found out there were some people infected with the virus that had a different effect after it was triggered. They’re different from the usual infected ones. They’re–”

“Faster,” Kihyun finished Hoseok’s sentence himself. “They move faster, don’t they?”

Hoseok nodded with a sigh, “And stronger. We’re not sure if the cure will work with them because we haven’t tested the cure on them yet.”

The comfort was suddenly flushed as fear returned, “We can never be safe, huh?” Changkyun voiced everyone’s thoughts, “Is that why you left the laboratory?” 

Hoseok was quick to decline the assumptions, explaining himself, “I brought a lot of the cure. We all decided to spread out the cure as much as we can before the government figures out how to wash the entire country with it.” 

He showed the sets of cure he brought, distributing it to everyone, “The virus has spread towards Busan.” Hoseok added, informing everyone, “But it doesn’t mean the route to Mokpo is clear. We might still encounter a few.”

“Not to be random,” Jooheon butted in, “How did you get here?”

“I had a car,” Hoseok replied, “I was able to figure out the clear route because of Hyunwoo. It broke down a few blocks from here. I just had to run for my life going here.” He added pointing at the blood stains on his clothes, “Used a couple of the cures along the way. Not really sure what happened to them but I just hope they started evacuating.” 

“So, what do we do now?” Changkyun asked, continuing the conversation with the cure, “You said you’ll use it. There aren’t a lot of infected here in Iksan. Especially in this town.”

Kihyun looked at Hoseok’s hesitation to speak up but Kihyun already knew what his intentions were, “We’re gonna have to move, aren’t we?” Kihyun asked, making Hoseok nod. 

“I didn’t want to alarm you but my car broke down because of the ones infected differently,” Hoseok said, adding more information to his friends, “The people at the laboratory called them tyrants. They suspect they’re infected by the same virus Professor Kim took. Possibly a different dosage than the one spreading. There’s a lot of them here. I still suggest Mokpo as the safest place as of now.”

Fear was suddenly in everyone’s eyes, especially Hyungwon who recalled being strangled by one. The pain in his neck was still present even after a week. If it wasn’t for Kihyun, he could’ve been dead by now. 

“We’ll just have to stick together, then,” Hyunwoo concluded, “From now on, we’ll do the buddy system. Everywhere you go, you must inform someone in the pact. You must be with another person whenever you leave.” 

Everyone seemed to agree with what Hyunwoo had said, having a full understanding of the situation, “That means no more leaving in the middle of the night,” Hyunwoo continued, eyes boring at Kihyun. “Alright, Kihyun?” 

After a week of running for supplies with Minhyuk, there were places Kihyun had noticed along the way. He couldn’t bring the other along with him because of how scared he was being out in the open. So, Kihyun tried his best to remember those intriguing places. 

Every night, when everyone was asleep, he would go out through one of the windows in another room to get out of the motel. Sometimes it’s hard to avoid the look out for that night, like that one time when Hyunwoo almost caught him going out. That’s what he thought because he didn’t really expect to find out that Hyunwoo caught him red handed.

But he lied anyway. 

“I don’t know what you’re saying,” Kihyun said, shrugging the accusation away. 

Hyunwoo sighed, ready to mouth off all of the times he caught Kihyun but Jooheon just held him back from even starting. Jooheon gave Hyunwoo a knowing look before Hyunwoo shrugged the situation himself away. 

That day Hoseok arrived, a lot of things have changed. Starting off with the shifts for being the look out. Changkyun insisted on being with his friend, making Jooheon lose his partner. Kihyun had to do double shifts, keeping Minhyuk as his partner and having another set of shifts with Jooheon. Hyunwoo thought it would be a good idea to give Kihyun double shifts so he couldn’t sneak out at night.

Hyunwoo was wrong.

Because that night when it was Hoseok and Changkyun’s shift, Kihyun was able to sneak out once again going to a small library he saw right around the middle of the city.  

It was a long run from the motel. Most of the infected were already gone in half of the city because of their supply runs where they used to run over them with the car. Though Kihyun would still encounter a few infected, he would just try his best to hide from them so he wouldn’t be too tired. 

Books are something that calms Kihyun the most, especially in a situation like this. So the moment he saw the library in the city map of Iksan, he made sure to figure out how to get there. 

After a few blocks of walking in the dead city, Kihyun finally arrived at the library. It wasn’t that big but from the outside, he could already see the shelves of books.

Quietly, he made his way inside still unsure whether there were people who decided to refuge here or there were infected ones. Getting a feeling that there were none, Kihyun freely walked towards a shelf near the entrance. 

He doesn’t really know which book he was looking for. He doesn’t even know what kind of books were there. All he cared about was to find a book interesting enough to keep for the next few days or even months of the outbreak. 

The scent of blood was so much stronger than the books. Kihyun wondered how many people had been here for these infected ones to be dead and lying around the library. Ignoring the scent, he proceeded with taking out a book that seemed to have an interesting title, reading the first few pages of it quickly before deciding to put it in his bag. He checked the other shelves for books as well, too indulged with reading. 

Kihyun loved the feeling of finding a new book to read. Trying to figure out what happens next after reading a few pages. How the book will end was something else he thinks about. Thinking about the message the book wants to put out. He liked books that sounded interesting with just the title or even the first few pages of it. 

He was too indulged with choosing books but he was still aware of his surroundings. 

Calmly putting another book he took an interest in inside his bag, he reached out for his knife, feeling movement inside the room other than his. He closed his eyes, increasing his sense of hearing. There was a loud panting inside the room, trying to catch a breath. The sound of breathing seemed normal. It didn’t seem to come from an infected, Kihyun quietly hoped.

He discreetly made his way to the next few shelves figuring out where the heavy breathing was coming from, seeing a shadow of someone crouching reflected on the floor, catching the culprit. 

Usually, Kihyun would throw his knife like a dart hitting the board exactly at the infected’s head whenever he sees one. Even though it’s dark, he could tell that the person crouching in front of him, unaware that Kihyun was behind, was indeed a sane person so Kihyun loosened his grip on the knife.

“What are you doing here?” Kihyun asked, surprising the shadow, finally aware that Kihyun was behind him, “Did you follow me?” 

Caught red handed, Hyungwon let out a gasp, as he stood from his crouching position, Kihyun getting a clearer view of his face, “You know you can’t leave without anyone knowing,” Hyungwon tried to reason out for following Kihyun, “You know you can’t leave in the middle of the night anymore.”

“Who cares?” He snapped back, annoyed at the fact that Hyungwon followed him, “I can take care of myself.”

Hyungwon sighed too loudly, completely done with Kihyun’s act, “Can you please hear me out?”

Kihyun’s head snapped, looking straight at Hyungwon in disbelief. “Hear you out?” He said baffled, “For what?” 

“Kih, I was stupid,” Hyungwon gulped, preparing himself, perhaps a speech he made before coming here, “I know I should’ve listened to you when you told me to stay away from–”

“Don’t,” Kihyun shut his eyes, cutting him off, “Don’t say his name and don’t ever talk to me about that. Don’t ever talk to me at all.”

Hyungwon huffed a loud breath, “Maybe if you just hear me out then things wouldn't have turned out this way.” 

“It’s been months, Hyungwon. Things wouldn’t have turned out this way if you tried before,” He quietly said, his heart started to feel the same exactly six months back, “But you gave up so easily. So, what’s the point of hearing you out now? What difference would it make? Just because we’re in the middle of an apocalypse—”

Hyungwon felt his entire body shake seeing Kihyun hang from a grip that randomly came out of nowhere. The sentences were cut off by his sudden screams, trying to break free from the hold around his neck.

Grabbing the machete he brought, Hyungwon made his way to Kihyun, swinging it to chop off the infected’s arm. Kihyun fell to the ground, but the infected was still alive, appearing right before their eyes.

They could tell this wasn’t any normal infected that they have encountered. This was probably the tyrant Hoseok was talking about judging by their larger build and massive strength.

Hyungwon tried to swing his machete again in an attempt to decapitate its head but it only sank into their thick skin, black liquid oozing from the neck. Kihyun was still on the floor trying to recover from the choking, whereas Hyungwon thought he should try out the cure Hoseok had given them as he stabbed the infected with it. 

The tyrant remained standing tall swinging its arm to capture Kihyun again but Hyungwon was quick to throw a knife at the tyrant’s eye making it stumble back. Kihyun added another shot of the cure on the tyrant’s leg while Hyungwon stabbed his machete to the tyrant’s chest making more black liquid ooze out of its body. A screech was heard as the tyrant’s strength slowly withered until it stopped moving.

Still catching his breath, Kihyun let out a loud exhale rubbing his neck where the tyrant groped hard. 

“I don’t owe you that much now,” Hyungwon said quietly after the quick unexpected attack from the tyrant, ignoring Kihyun’s condition, “I just saved your life.” 

Kihyun could only huff, rolling his eyes at the sudden change of heart of Hyungwon, still trying to ease his breathing, “Didn’t know we were keeping score,” He scoffed, standing back on his feet, claiming his stuff scattered on the floor before leaving the library and Hyungwon behind. 

It was a surprise that Hyunwoo did not notice Kihyun leaving in the middle of the night or maybe he just didn’t bother asking, noticing that Hyungwon was gone too. 

The next day, they decided to transfer to a new refuge as Hyunwoo and Jooheon reported to have encountered a tyrant themselves during their supply run. The hidden place in Iksan was suddenly a place the infected (or mostly tyrants) decided to be in. 

“It’s gonna be hard this time,” Jooheon could only say after preparing the car with Minhyuk, “The car isn’t really that stable after using it during the runs and who knows what awaits on the destination.”

“Are we still going for Mokpo?” Changkyun asked and Hoseok nodded, “A few of my workers went straight there and they said there’s not much to clear in the area,” Hoseok said as Jooheon and Minhyuk continue to doubt their car. 

“How about Gwangju?” Hyunwoo spoke with a map at hand, “It’s not that far from Mokpo and from here too. Maybe we can start clearing that place instead of huddling ourselves in Mokpo.”

“I think we can find a shelter there,” Minhyuk commented, “Three shelters to be exact but it still depends, hoping no one decided to vacate our house.”

“You’re from Gwangju?” said Hyunwoo with joy and Minhyuk nodded, “Well that’s good news then.”

Getting the confirmation from Hyunwoo, Minhyuk started the car and started driving to a place he remembers by heart. 

The atmosphere inside the car was barely bearable. Minhyuk was too busy driving. Hoseok was helping Hyunwoo navigate their way to Gwangju, avoiding the areas detected to have people. Changkyun was talking to Jooheon and Hyungwon. And like usual, Kihyun was looking out the window alone. 

But one thing’s for sure, everyone was scared after the news about the tyrant. Kihyun was even more scared because his neck still had the marks of the tyrant’s hand, just like Hyungwon. He could tell that the other was as scared as him because the two of them almost died in the hands of a tyrant.

Iksan was suddenly a small town as they reached the highway going to Gwangju. It was true that the streets were clearer than what they had experienced from Seoul. In less than two hours, Kihyun could already tell they had arrived because of the familiar buildings he used to see whenever he came with Hyungwon to Gwangju. 

“I think the temperature is still warm in Gwangju,” Changkyun spoke, noticing the trees that were still a little green, “Maybe we could stay here and winter wouldn’t be too cold.”

“Let’s just hope we wouldn’t still be in this car until winter,” was the only thing Hoseok could respond. But all Kihyun could hope for was for this to be over.

“Calling Lee Hoseok, Over?” The line spoke from the walkie-talkie. Hoseok rushed to pick up the item from his side to respond, “Lee Hoseok on the line.”

“It’s Seunhcheol,” The other introduced, “Jisoo just informed me that Mokpo is cleared. We’re currently in Daejeon and there are a lot of tyrants.”

“We just left Iksan, there’s a lot there too, Hoseok informed, “We’re on our way to Gwangju. Is the place clear?”

“Not so sure but if Mokpo is clear, most likely,” said Seungcheol, “We’ll put a blockage from Iksan then follow to Mokpo with Jisoo. Government says the lab still needs to double the production of the cure, double shots because tyrants could be killed with it. It would most likely take two weeks before the country would be cleared from the virus.”

Everyone inside the car released a deep sigh after that news, “Better than nothing, right?” Hoseok could only say, “Stay safe, Cheol. I’ll see you soon again. Thank you for the news.” 

“You too, Seok. It’s better to stay indoors now. Over and out.” 

“Well that was good news?” Changkyun spoke, “We’ll just have to spend Minhyuk hyung’s birthday in the middle of an apocalypse.” 

“Ahhhh! I forgot it’s almost November,” said Minhyuk, “Kihyun too!”

Then there was silence again. It wasn’t a talk that they wanted to engage in since they were busy looking out because their car wasn’t in its best condition anymore. The least they could do was to watch out for infected or assailants along their way. 

Ahead was another gasoline station. Luckily, It was cleared that they had the chance to stock up some food and fix the car. Everyone was doing their own job: Hyunwoo and Hoseok fixing the car, Kihyun and Jooheon on the lookout, Hyungwon, Changkyun and Minhyuk getting everything they could inside the store.

“You’re awfully too quiet ever since we left Iksan,” Jooheon said to the older, “You good?”

“Couldn’t be better,” Kihyun scoffed, leaning at a post, “I really don’t know what I’m feeling lately.” 

Jooheon shook his head in disbelief at how the older one was acting, “Are you still bothered by him?” 

“I just hate how I thought I’ve moved on but never did,” He blurted out in honesty. Kihyun looked at the three who were picking up food inside the store avoiding eye contact with his friend because for the first time in months, he actually spoke his thoughts, “Seeing his face again after months, I don’t know? I should be mad but I’m not.”

“You shouldn’t exactly be mad,” Jooheon suggested, “Maybe if you just hear him out.”

“I would’ve if he tried explaining before,” Kihyun spoke, trying to convince Jooheon of what he should feel, “He just let it go— proving everything to be true.”

“You don’t know that.” Jooheon could only say trying to stay in the line between being Hyungwon’s friend and Kihyun’s, “Would it make you feel a little better if we sneaked some fizzy drinks tonight?” 

Kihyun just smiled at the gesture when Jooheon didn’t push the talk further, “Thanks, Joo.” 

Almost a year ago, when Hyungwon and Kihyun were cuddling by the couch while watching movies, it randomly came to Hyungwon to talk about what happened to him, “I randomly saw Jeonghan again today.”

“Jeonghan, as in Yoon Jeonghan?” Kihyun asked to which Hyungwon hummed a yes in response, “What about him?”

“He said he had a partnership with the company I work in. He’d be going to work with me for the next few weeks,” Hyungwon explained, “Isn’t that cool? It’s been awhile since we last saw each other.”

The enthusiasm behind Hyungwon’s voice bothered Kihyun a little. He found it weird how one could be excited to see an ex-boyfriend. But then again, Kihyun never really knew what Hyungwon’s relationship was like with Jeonghan.

So he tried to shrug it off.

For the first few days, Hyungwon would always be a little late to their meet-ups since they don’t live with each other despite the two year relationship. Kihyun even met Jeonghan because he brought Hyungwon to their meeting place one time.

It was fine.

Until a week later, Hyungwon suddenly ended up cancelling on him every other day. He always reasoned out how he hasn’t finished his papers but most of the time, Kihyun would be willing to wait.

When Kihyun tried to confront Hyungwon with it, all the other could say was, “Don’t you trust me?”

Of course there weren't any hesitations with what Kihyun felt, “I just don’t like how close you are with him right now. You’re cancelling on me, which you don’t do often unless you really need to.”

“He’s just a friend, Kih,” said Hyungwon, while resting his hand on Kihyun’s face, “And even if he was my ex-boyfriend, I don’t think he would feel the same way he used to right now. We both moved on.”

“Then act like it,” was the only thing Kihyun could say, “Act like you don’t feel the same way when you two were together.” 

His grumpiness annoyed Hyungwon to the point the latter ignored Kihyun for a few days.

In those few days, he heard the news about his father going back to the hospital after passing out in the bathroom. He decided to visit home for a while, informing Hyungwon that he will only visit without the reason why. The latter responded with a blunt Okay before going back to ignoring Kihyun.

Kihyun never thought something like that would happen. That a simple argument about an ex would both have their walls back up and Kihyun was scared. He was scared but he knew he had to prepare himself for what's about to come.

When he went back to Seoul, Hyungwon talked to him, ending everything on what he thought were good terms.

“I just— I just don’t think it would work anymore if you don’t trust me,” Hyungwon said, circling his index finger on the rim of the cup of coffee, “We’ve been fighting a lot this past month, for some reason I got tired.”

“It’s him, isn’t it?” Kihyun couldn’t help it but jumped to that reason, “It’s because of him? You still love him?”

Hyungwon’s head snapped, glaring at him, “What the fuck?” 

“I just don’t understand why you have to make a reason when you could just say you’re still in love with your ex-boyfriend.” 

“You know what? Fuck you. I’m done,” Hyungwon stood from his seat, leaving the coffee untouched and Kihyun alone. 

Kihyun believed it was only for a few days, weeks, they both would get over it. It’s not like he needs another emotional baggage to carry anymore. It’s already too heavy for him.

But he tried to keep his pride up, knowing he did nothing wrong and that Hyungwon should’ve explained himself. Kihyun thought eventually Hyungwon would but he didn’t.

Kihyun heard of Hyungwon’s get together during spring from Jooheon but he never invited Kihyun. 

Hyungwon had all the chances to knock at Kihyun’s door or even send a message to him but he didn’t. 

He never did.

Now to think that in the middle of an apocalypse, Hyungwon would try to explain himself, that’s just bullshit.

The streets started to get better right before Kihyun’s eye as he realised they were probably near. Like what Seungcheol had said, the streets after Iksan weren't much crowded by tyrants or infected so they made it safe to their destination. “I think this would be a good place to settle for shelter,” Minhyuk said, parking the car by a medium sized house, “It seems like no one vacated our house yet.”

“You sure?” Hoseok asked Hyunwoo for confirmation and Hyunwoo nodded while looking at Kihyun. 

“We should check it first,” Hyunwoo announced, “Kihyun?”

“Am I a security guard or something?” He jokingly responded, the rest surprised at his light remark because Kihyun normally doesn’t joke around, “Minhyuk, can I?”

Minhyuk nodded, handing him the key to the house. All of them started to get off the car and Kihyun was the last to get off, amused that Minhyuk’s house looked a little like his house. All of them just stood by the car, on lookout if ever someone was hiding. 

Hyunwoo nudged Kihyun at his side with a small smile, “You should check if there’s anyone inside,” He repeated, “You can never be too sure.”

Kihyun could only nod, doing the protocol of putting all weapons in defense in case someone or an infected jumps at him. 

Dragging himself towards the house, the other six remain by the car— not really leaving him alone but trusting Kihyun after he cleared out the motel in Iksan. 

He heard the usual creak of a front porch the moment he stepped on it. The welcoming white door that screams safety to him .   

Knowing that the electricity is probably down and there is no way the keypad would work, he used the key that he got from Minhyuk. The fragrant smell of lavender lingered before his nose as it still smelled fresh. It’s not as strong as a newly settled fragrant. Kihyun could tell that it was the only a foreign scent he smelled in months. That's why it lingered.

Not fully keeping his guard down, he roamed around the house, not seeing any dirt nor an attempt of barging in his house. The house looked like any normal house. In fact, it was quite spacious when he checked out a few rooms on the second floor. 

“It’s clear,” Kihyun confirmed, letting the others in. They didn’t even mind anymore that they didn’t remove their shoes. It’s better to keep them if ever something happens since nothing is safe and sure at this kind of time. 

“I don’t know what else is kept here but make yourselves at home, I guess?” Minhyuk finally says, grinning at the familiar place, “We have a lot of rooms so we can sleep extra comfortably tonight compared to those duvets at the motel.”

While the rest of them were busy bringing inside the stocks and other personal things they had, Kihyun was quick to follow Minhyuk to the second floor asking which room he could vacate.

Minhyuk only chuckled, pushing a room near the stairs open, “Figured you’d call dibs on the single room.” 

“How about you?” Kihyun asked, walking inside the given room and putting some of his things and weapons.

“We’ll probably still have the lookout at night so the other spare rooms are enough for the rest of us who won’t be on the lookout,” Minhyuk explained. Kihyun nods, looking around the small room with a decent view of the outside. It was a good decision to move shelters because Gwangju seemed so much clearer than Iksan. The streets were clear and they didn’t encounter that much on their way.

“Thanks for the room,” He said, noticing that Minhyuk was still standing by the door. The other simply smiled but still doesn’t leave him alone.

Kihyun blinked at him, shoulders suddenly tense compared to Minhyuk’s relaxed ones, walking towards the bed to sit beside him. “Y-Yeah?” He mumbled in confusion at the sudden interest of Minhyuk to converse.

“I didn't mean to,” Minhyuk started and Kihyun was already scared of what would follow, “But I overheard you and Jooheon talking earlier at the station.”

Oh.

“I know I shouldn’t explain on behalf of my best friend but I think you should hear him out, at least,” He finally said, fiddling on his fingers, “Maybe it will give you a peace of mind.” 

Kihyun just hummed, lips forming a smile at the other, “Thank you Minhyuk,” He mumbled through a small voice. Minhyuk simply smiled back before finally leaving his obtained personal space. 

He looked back at the past months when he was out in the open, almost losing hope of living. It made him realise that the world was a scary place in times like this, or maybe it was a scary place in general. That he was more than lucky to be one of the people who are still alive— staying alive in the midst of everything. Looking for a reason to live.

And as much as Kihyun doesn’t want to believe it, he’s slowly finding his.

Instead of hiding inside the room, Kihyun went back downstairs to see everyone huddled in the dining room. They were having their lunch, munching on the allotted food they had for that day, “Minhyuk, we saw there was some stocked up food,” Jooheon informed, “Is it alright if it becomes our stock too?” 

Minhyuk nodded with a smile at his friend, “I can’t believe this is your house,” Hyunwoo said amused, while eating, “It’s a good thing we stopped here.”

“Hyungwon’s house is close,” Minhyuk informed, “Maybe you can check your place out one day?” to which Hyungwon simply responded with a nod.

Kihyun doesn’t know why but the comfort of living in a house made him a little less sensitive. The thick tension that surrounded them lessened which made everyone else a little comfortable with each other. The small house that Minhyuk had offered suddenly became a safeplace, the rest of them filling it with laughter.

After a week of staying at Minhyuk’s house, the rest had formed a stronger bond with each other. Jooheon really likes the company of Changkyun and Hyunwoo thinks Minhyuk was amusing. Minhyuk’s house had a lot of entertaining stuff like board games and toys that he had when he was a kid. The area surrounding them was silent from infected and tyrants that they were at peace. 

Kihyun doesn’t know how or why but eventually, Hyungwon’s presence didn’t bother him as much as it did before. Though they don’t fully talk to each other, still, no more bickering was heard inside the walls of the house. 

Perhaps it was because Kihyun found comfort in the spare room and the books that he had picked up along the way. When it wasn’t time for him to be on the lookout or his presence wasn’t needed, Kihyun would most likely lock himself inside the room only going out whenever it was time to eat. He didn’t need to hide from Hyunwoo anymore, sneaking to any nearby libraries. (Though Kihyun knows one that he could easily visit after snatching a map of Gwangju at the gasoline stop.)

One day, Hyungwon announced that he would visit his house that wasn’t that far from Minhyuk’s. Kihyun doesn’t know why but his mouth was quick to speak “ I’ll come with you” before his brain could even process it.

“What?” Jooheon was quick to hear what Kihyun had said when Kihyun didn't even know why he said such.

“I-I’ll come with Hyungwon?” He stammered, repeating what was unconsciously said, questioning himself if he really did say that.

“Sure,” Hyungwon slightly smiled, taking the keys from Jooheon, “Seokie hyung, Gwangju is clear right?”

“Yes,” Hoseok shouted from the kitchen because he said the radio signal was the best in that area, “70% of the cure is done. Probably a few more days before the government could wash the entire country with it.” 

That’s why.

For one, Kihyun wasn’t stupid. He knew why there was such comfort being felt. Or maybe he figured it out during those times he was locked inside his room. Maybe there was finally an acceptance to what he actually feels ever since they met again.

Kihyun knew that this outbreak would have an end. Maybe not today but soon. He knew that eventually he would have to talk with Hyungwon, seeing that their group of friends developed such friendship over the weeks they have spent with each other. He knew it’s inevitable that Kihyun would see Hyungwon again even after this outbreak, looking at the bond formed with the seven of them.

“Didn’t expect you’d come with me,” Hyungwon commented, starting the engine for their trip to his home.

“I just thought you’d need some help, or something,” He mumbled, showing off the weapons he had brought. 

Kihyun sat back by the leather, knowing that a conversation isn’t too good when they are on their way somewhere. It was better to keep an eye out for everything but like Hoseok had said, Gwangju really was clear.

Perhaps, there were other cars driving as well. Waving at them, glad to see that not all people are infected with the virus. Some would sneakily look out by their windows, cautious of every car at sight. 

The overall atmosphere of the city was comforting. It felt free that they could’ve just walked their way because it felt safe. Maybe even if there would be a couple of infected here, Kihyun would still feel safe. 

“Remember that park?” Hyungwon randomly spoke after they passed by a familiar statue that leads to a familiar park. Kihyun just hummed, looking at the place mentioned until they distanced from it.

The route Hyungwon was taking was awfully familiar to Kihyun. Seeing a familiar bus stop he once got off on when he went to Gwangju a few years back, “How about this?” Hyungwon spoke again but this time, Kihyun looked at him. “Are we on a field trip?” He joked but Kihyun knew what Hyungwon was doing.

The moment Kihyun looked at Hyungwon, he remembered that time when Hyungwon took him to Gwangju to meet his parents. Hyungwon was also driving and it definitely didn’t take them months to go there from Seoul. He remembered how Hyungwon drove a few detours, showing him around Gwangju because Kihyun hasn’t been to a lot of cities other than the Gyeonggi province.

“You know I’ve seen these places already,” Kihyun whispered, keeping his grip on the weapons while keeping his sight on the roads.

“I know,” Hyungwon mumbled, hoping he could finally talk to the other comfortably, “I just missed this place. I can’t believe the time I’d be visiting would be in the middle of an outbreak.”

“You have no reason to, anyway,” Kihyun muttered, remembering that his parents had passed a few months after Kihyun had met them, “Will you stop by the cemetery?”

“Probably some other day,” Hyungwon suggested, surprised that Kihyun had remembered, “Will you come with me too?”

“I’ll think about it,” He said, seeing the other smile a little at his sudden change of heart to be open to him.

They passed by a bus stop before a couple of houses could be seen from afar. It looked like a quiet area. No cars could be seen nor people, “Is there anyone in your house?” 

“I asked my aunt to watch over it sometimes but I guess she wasn’t able to in the past few months?” Hyungwon said, parking the car in front of the house, “I’ll probably pick up some clothes or whatever I see useful here.” 

Like Minhyuk’s, Hyungwon’s house was unlocked with the use of a key rather than the keypad. The house looked the same since the last time Kihyun had seen it, except it looked like no one had been there for months just like Hyungwon expected. 

“Feel free to check everything,” Hyungwon instructed, “I’ll check the second floor.” 

Kihyun just hummed at the instruction before looking around the house. 

It felt homely to see the pictures on the wall that Hyungwon used to brag to all the time that he was a cute child. The house was still decently furnished with a few dusts building up but that was fine. 

He saw a couple of cans hidden in the cupboard. Luckily it hadn't expired yet so Kihyun freely packed it to bring with them back to his house. It was a decent amount too. Despite the outbreak hopefully ending soon, it’s never too late to stock up on goods. 

He opened the door to what seemed like storage, only to be welcomed by washed clothes that hadn't been folded. “Hyungwon!” Kihyun shouted to the person on the floor above him, “You have clothes here,” He informs before he rummages through the clothing that seemed to be all Hyungwon’s. 

That was until he saw a familiar sweatshirt that he knew wasn’t Hyungwon’s. It still smelled like fabric conditioner. Like it was recently washed. 

“Oh,” A voice spoke behind him. He turned around to see Hyungwon with a couple of things that he had claimed from the upper floor, “I see you’ve seen that,”

“How did my sweatshirt even get here?” Kihyun asked, confused, fiddling with the fabric of the oversized sweater. Kihyun gave it to him a few weeks before they broke up and Hyungwon had claimed he hadn't been here in awhile. So how come his sweater made an appearance here?

Hyungwon froze. Perhaps, he was trying to figure out a reason that actually makes sense why his ex-boyfriend’s clothing is in his house in his hometown, which by the way was far from where it originally was. “I guess I went home a few days after we broke up…?” He mumbled, shy of his answer. 

Kihyun just hums, giving the clothing to the person in front of him, “I said it was yours, didn’t I?” He started walking out of the kitchen area back to the living room but Hyungwon called him out.

“Kih,” Hyungwon was nervous. Kihyun could feel it because he was too. This was it. This was the time that they both had to face, “Can you please listen to me, this time? Please?”

He didn’t hesitate. Not even a little. Kihyun turned his heel around and pulled out the dusty chair of the dining table sitting there. “Talk,” He spoke curtly, “You wanted to explain, right?”

Hyungwon was surprised that the other wasn’t that hard to persuade unlike last time. He sat across him, knowing this conversation might take long, clearing his throat before he spoke, “I know it’s too late to say I’m sorry.”

“I’m glad you do know that,” Kihyun sarcastically remarked.

“But it doesn’t mean I shouldn’t apologise,” Hyungwon shook the remark away, focusing on his chance of explaining. “I’m sorry I didn’t listen to you. I didn’t know what had gotten to me at that time. I guess he still knows how to get to my brain and I never learned.” 

Kihyun just hummed, thankful that no name was mentioned in the midst of explaining. “I don’t really have a valid explanation why I let things happen the way they were but I know that I made a mistake of not listening to you and letting things get out of hand that lead to us splitting and I let it happen.” Hyungwon continued since Kihyun would rather be listening than arguing, “I regretted it. So much, you have no idea how I hated myself too much to think that I don’t even deserve a second chance from you. I was unreasonable when I broke up with you so what reason could you have had to forgive me and take me back so easily? That’s why I never tried to explain myself. I’d rather live with you and myself hating on me.”

“I never hated you.”

“And I don’t even know why I’m explaining myself right now like what’s the point— Wait, what did you say?” Hyungwon stopped, wide eyed. Kihyun thought it was cute though, unable to contain a small smile. 

“I said I never hated you.” Kihyun mumbled, fiddling with his fingers, “I could never hate you.”

“I don’t deserve this.” 

“Sure, I was mad that you didn’t listen to me. Even worse when you didn’t even try to talk to me,” Kihyun said, not knowing why he was the one talking this time when all he was asked was to listen, “But I could never hate you. I loved you too much to just hate you.” 

“ Loved .” Hyungwon repeated quietly, diverting his eyes away from the other’s, “Does it mean you don't anymore?” 

“It’s been months,” Kihyun trailed off, knowing that whatever might come out of his mouth isn’t what the other would want to hear but still, “Don’t you think I deserve to finally move on and be happy, at least?” 

“You deserve all the happiness in the world, Kih,” Hyungwon unconsciously took Kihyun’s hands in his, “And I know you won’t believe me when I tell you but I never stopped loving you.”

“Hyungwon…”

“I know you won’t believe it but ever since I stopped hearing from you and even Jooheon, everyday I wished that I would see you somewhere, doing good and happy. That I would get to tell you that yes, you told me so because I let someone single-handedly ruin the best relationship that I had been in.” Hyungwon’s grip suddenly became tighter, uncalled tears falling from his eyes,  “That time I saw you again in that gasoline station, I couldn’t believe it. How in the world did fate choose this time for us to meet again? The two of us, looking at our worst, trying to survive everyday.”

Kihyun remembered how he didn’t even want to get in the same car as him, yet here he is in his house discussing things that should have been talked about a long time ago. 

“I was so thankful either way. Even if you weren’t talking to me and all you gave to me were cold stares? I was simply thankful to know that you were still alive. That maybe we met again because fate wanted to remind me that there was more to life than living in the middle of an apocalypse. That there is someone that would make you want to live another day because all you want is to see them. That I still have a reason to live.”

“Hyungwon…” Kihyun said again, but this time he pulled his hand away from the grip, “Stop talking.”

“You said you’d listen,” Hyungwon’s voice cracked, wiping his own tears with his dirty sleeve.

“I think I’ve heard enough,” Kihyun cleared, mind still processing everything Hyungwon had just told him, “You know it’s not that easy to go back to the way things were.” He continued, unsure whether he should be saying such, “But I’m willing to start over again. It’s not exactly what you want for us to just randomly get back together but I can’t even tell if we would get back together.”

“But for now,” Hyungwon sighed, knowing where Kihyun’s speech was going, “Friends?” 

“For now, friends,” Kihyun confirmed. He didn’t know why but he stood up going to the other’s side, pulling him into a tight hug, comforting his cries, “We were friends before everything else so let’s start from that.” 

Hyungwon allowed himself to be hugged, lowering himself to rest his head on Kihyun’s shoulder, “Better than nothing.” 

When they got back, most of them cheered for the extra food that was obtained from Hyungwon's house. For some reason, Kihyun already noticed a big change with the atmosphere after everything was settled between him and Hyungwon. He could already tell that it wasn’t just him who noticed as Jooheon sat next to him when they were eating dinner. 

“Is it just me or does everything seem so much lighter?” Jooheon teased taking a bite of the mackerel  that he chose to eat.

“It’s just you,” Kihyun retorted, pushing Jooheon’s teasing away. He stole a piece of mackerel from the other’s can and braggingly taking a bite of it, “What do you want?” 

“What happened in Hyungwon’s house?” Jooheon asked directly, “I’m sure you two talked. I couldn’t believe my eyes when you handed Hyungwon his share for dinner.”

Kihyun simply shrugged. Jooheon gave him a confused look, “We just talked.” He spoke quietly but made sure to emphasise on the word talked. 

“Seems like the talk went well.” Jooheon hummed, looking at Hyungwon across, who was happily conversing with Changkyun, all smiles, “He told you how he feels about you?” 

“You knew?” 

Jooheon smiled, dimples showing, “It wasn’t my feelings to talk about,” He said teasingly, “So, you two are back together now?”

Kihyun was quick to shake his head, the room filled with laughter from the two across them, “We’re friends,” He cleared out. Hyungwon turns to look at them, smiling.

“You know hyung, you’re not that hard to read,” Jooheon said knowingly but Kihyun ignored him, focusing on eating again.

But it all felt nice and calming. Kihyun hasn’t felt anything like right now since the outbreak started. Maybe stopping for them at the gasoline station was just fate’s plan to have all seven of them inside these four walls and change each other’s lives. Having someone new in their life to keep their minds sane. 

In that small living room, Kihyun continued to talk with Jooheon about other things while splitting his attention to their surroundings. He could see Hoseok from his side walking to the kitchen area, passing by Hyunwoo and Minhyuk who were sitting by the dining table, arranging the newly looted supplies from their short run around town. Across them were the same faces, still laughing at what seems like a story of what Changkyun had encountered during his shift last night with Jooheon. The sounds of cans hitting the table and laughter filled the house and Kihyun realised that he could get used to this. 

And he will get used to this.

After roughly five days, Hoseok was able to connect with Seungcheol once again.

“Kim has finally been caught and the laboratory was able to run a few tests on the virus he injected himself,” said Seungcheol once the connection of the walkie-talkie was established, “It confirmed the previous study that the virus was latent and was triggered by a gas so the cure being generated would definitely work.” 

Heavy breaths were released, replaced by small cheers at the improvement of their situation. It was unbelievable to think that there actually was an end to their misery.

“The anti virus is being forwarded to other laboratories then to the army to spread across the country.” Seungcheol added through the static noise, “Laboratory staff said they expect the cure to reach Mokpo in 72 hours so it might get to Gwangju in two days.” 

“Thank you so much for this update.” said Hoseok, “Stay safe, Cheol. Over and out.”

With the good news received, everyone felt a wave of safety flush over their system.  Realising that there was an actual end to the misery they were facing after three months of fighting for their lives. That all they have experienced was merely a phase and that there’s a chance that everything will go back to normal.

On the same night, Kihyun was on the lookout with Hyungwon. 

Now, neither of them knows why they were put together. Though Kihyun was really supposed to be on watch that night but with Minhyuk. But finding out that tomorrow would be Minhyuk’s birthday, Hyunwoo let him off for the night and ordered Hyungwon to be on the lookout with Kihyun.

It wasn’t like any nights Kihyun used to have. Usually, Minhyuk or Jooheon would initiate a conversation with him and they would start a new conversation over and over again until they ran out of things to talk about. 

This night was filled with silence.

They were both sitting on the couch, faced to the door, their only source of light was either from the fireplace on their side or the moonlight. Only the sounds of their breathing resonated in the four walls that enclosed them. Kihyun was focused on the book he was reading, while Hyungwon was packing some of their things.

This night was the first time they were left alone, other than the time that Kihyun went with Hyungwon to his house or that time Hyungwon followed him to a city library. It was the first night where the air between them was only filled with light hearts and a relaxed mind.

“What’s the first thing you’ll do after all of this?” Hyungwon asked all of a sudden, body leaning to face Kihyun as they wait for another sun to rise, “I still find it hard to believe that there’s an actual end to this.”

And Kihyun realised, he never actually thought of it before.

Truthfully, there wasn’t much in store for him after this. His life before the outbreak wasn’t any special because all he did was wake up, go to work, and go home. Perhaps think of new ideas here and there since a mind full of ideas is needed when you’re in the production department. There wasn’t anything special in his life to anticipate because he would most likely just go back to work once everything has been settled. 

“I’ll take a nice long bath,” Kihyun answered realistically– too realistically, “Probably get all the rest that I could because I’m sure it will take a while before the country will restore everything back to normal.” Hyungwon only nodded at the unexpected response before Kihyun followed with, “You?”

Hyungwon hummed, head tilting with a pout to think. Kihyun chuckles thinking how cute the other looked, “I’ll most likely do the same.” He nodded at his own idea, “After I finish moving though.”

Kihyun raised an eyebrow, confused at such an unusual idea, “Moving?”

“Yeah,” This time, Hyungwon raised his right leg to the couch to fully face Kihyun, setting aside the things he had packed, “Before the outbreak, I was moving to a new apartment. Most of the boxes were still left there, hopefully no one broke in.”

“You’ve always wanted to move out of that apartment,” Kihyun casually said in a soft voice, “I’m glad you finally got rid of that old apartment.” 

“I actually had it for a year before I moved,” Hyungwon said, “Never really moved until I was able to pay for the entire apartment to say that I own it.” 

“That long for an apartment?” 

“Because it was a two person lease.”

Kihyun hummed, his own mind drawing the possibilities of why Hyungwon would sign a lease for two. For one, Hyungwon must be interested in finally having a roommate to split the costs of an apartment. He could be living with Minhyuk or Changkyun for that matter. 

His mind tried to not think of the possibility that Hyungwon might have asked him before to move in with him if they were still together.

But no matter how hard Kihyun tried, his brain was leaning towards the second idea because there is no way Hyungwon would be telling him the fact he bought an apartment owned by two for no reason.

“Well, it’s all yours now, at least,” Kihyun tried to shrug the conversation away but Hyungwon had other plans.

“You know, I never really imagined we’d be friends again after all these time apart.” Hyungwon said, continuing the intention of talking about their relationship, “Thank you for forgiving me,”

“You wanted more than that,” Kihyun teased freely, not knowing where the confidence was coming from but other than his creative mind, nothing else bothered him.

“I still do,” Hyungwon said as a matter of fact, pulling his legs against his chest, “After this outbreak, would you want to go out for lunch with me?”

“Are you really asking me out right now? ” Kihyun’s voice cuts through before Hyungwon could say more about his plans. He was taken aback by the sudden question that he could feel his cheeks heat up in a tint of pink that he’s glad that it was dark and the other couldn’t see his face as much.

“Minhyuk gave me a little push to ask,” Hyungwon mumbled shyly, “I mean, he has a point though. If I don’t ask now, then when? Who knows, you might say we’re friends again right now but you’ll actually cut me off once we’re back in Seoul.” 

“Hyungwon, you’re moving too fast.” Kihyun gaped, “We literally just became friends again.”

“Kih, I’m not asking you to be my boyfriend again right now,” He cleared out but it made Kihyun feel a little disappointed, but making his heart flutter a little with the nickname, “I’m just asking you out for lunch.” 

“We ate breakfast, lunch, and dinner together everyday for the past month. What difference would it make?” Kihyun pushed, shrugging off his pulse that’s becoming faster the more they get into the conversation.

“There’s no zombies coming after us?” 

“ There’s no zombies coming after us whenever we eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner in the past month.” 

Hyungwon gave him a confused look but watching the way Kihyun was moving on his seat, fiddling with the ends of the sweater he was wearing, Hyungwon was quick to catch on with the way Kihyun was acting. A wave of relief flashes through his body, the nerve of the question long gone.

He let out a small chuckle, keeping the smile plastered on his face as he smiled at Kihyun. When Kihyun’s eyes met his, his brows furrowed, confused why the other was suddenly smiling, “Why are you smiling? Was there something funny with what I said?” He continued to ramble, voice becoming a pitch higher, giving away his heart fluttering so loud.

Hyungwon shook his head, the smile still there, “You know…” Hyungwon couldn’t believe it but he’s sure too sure of it to misunderstand, “For someone who claims they’ve moved on, you’re acting too excited about me asking you out.” 

Kihyun gasped a small “ what” making Hyungwon smile at his way even more, cheeks now fully puffed up. He tries to shrug how cute Hyungwon looked by rolling his eyes with an overreacting huff on the side, “Me? Excited? For what?” He squeaked. Quickly, he puts a hand over his mouth making unnecessary noises in between words.

“I’ll take that as a yes,”  Hyungwon sing-songed, standing from his seat and taking the box he had packed, “I’ll just put these stuff away..”

“Yes please.” Kihyun huffed, mentally thanking himself for hiding their stocks somewhere far from the living room.

When Hyungwon was finally out of the living room, Kihyun let out a groan, shaking away his fluttering heart. No one told him there were still butterflies in the middle of an apocalypse. He never knew Hyungwon could still make him feel that way after all this time. So why was he feeling this way? How is it possible that Hyungwon could still make his little heart flutter every time he smiles? Even more, say something?

Burying his face in his own palms, he lets out a big sigh, “Keep it together Kihyun,” He told himself, slapping himself on the face if he needs to just to get back to his own senses.

Before Hyungwon could come back, Kihyun heard a loud thud near the porch, startling him. Grabbing the weapon that was settled near him, he quietly made his way to the window to see if there were people but only an empty porch welcomed him. 

Not fully trusting the sound, knowing that it wasn’t from Hyungwon who was packing up, Kihyun slowly opened the front door to double check, keeping his guard up but before he could even point a gun, a sound of multiple guns cocked was heard behind him, “Put the gun down and keep your hands up.” 

He did what was told, hearing the front door close leaving him out in the open, “Turn around,” a command followed and he turned to face two people who had their guns pointed at him, “You alone?” Kihyun nodded, following their protocol of not exposing the entire pact whenever there would be invaders, but the one on his left raised an eyebrow, “He’s lying.”

The person who asked first smirked, moving the gun closer to his head, before asking again, “Are you alone?” 

“Kihyun?” Hyungwon called out from the inside, making Kihyun heave a sigh, the gun touching his forehead by now, the person signalling him to keep quiet, “Where are you?”

“So you’re not alone then,” He whispered, “How many?” 

“Just us two,” Kihyun lied again through gritted teeth, eyes boring to the person in front of him but turned to the other when he started coughing. His eyes trailed on the other person from head to toe until he saw an odd looking bandage with blood clotting over it, “Your friend–” 

The person looked at his friend, cussing, “ Shit.” He lets out a deep breath, turning to Kihyun again, “This is my house and you trespassed.” 

“I did not trespass any home,” Kihyun responded quickly, raising his voice a little in hopes that Hyungwon would hear, “And your friend is bitten.” 

“This is my house,” The person repeated again , “The table in the kitchen is wood and round. There are three rooms on the second floor and a storage room.” He described it perfectly as a proof. Kihyun remained on his feet, not willing to budge with whatever the person said. For all he could know, he might have been eyeing their house for a while and decided to attack at night.

But before Kihyun could even speak, the front door opened again. Hyungwon didn’t expect to see the person he was looking for in front of him with a gun pointed at his head. Quickly, Hyungwon pointed his own gun at the person who had their gun pointed at Kihyun but the bitten friend was quicker to point his gun at Hyungwon. 

Now they’re in a battle on who shoots or surrenders first.

“Drop the gun,” Hyungwon threatened but the person didn’t even flinch, the cocky look on his face remained as his mouth twitched to a smirk once again. 

“Not if you drop yours,” He quipped, pushing Hyungwon’s buttons. Hyungwon simply cocked his gun, ready to shoot anytime, “Boo hoo, don’t want Kihyun to die now, don’t you?” He said, calling out the name he had learned when Hyungwon was looking for him. 

Kihyun started to shake on his feet, not only scared of the gun but mostly scared at the bitten person in front of him. He could see how his veins were starting to pop on his neck, getting closer to his head. Kihyun isn’t a scientist but he could tell the bitten one is about to turn any time now.

“I said put your gun down!” Hyungwon repeated, raising his voice but the bitten one moved his gun closer to Hyungwon, reminding that there was a gun pointed at him. 

“This is my fucking house!” The person repeated, matching the tone Hyungwon had given him, “Either you two move out or I fucking kill you.” 

“I’m pretty sure this isn’t your house,” Hyungwon scoffed, not wanting to back down any time soon, “And even if it was, we made it into a safeplace that it is now.” 

The person rolled his eyes at Hyungwon, turning to his friend, “Hak— Fuck, Haknyeon!”

“Hyungwon, get down!” Kihyun screamed frantically, not minding the gun pointed at him anymore as he dropped down on his feet as well.

Two gunshots were heard, followed by a screech, waking up everyone else in the house but Kihyun was too scared to look up, too weak.

“Hyungwon!” Hoseok was the first to arrive at the scene, “Fuck! Get some anti-virus!” He commanded after seeing Hyungwon struggle with an infected on top of him.

Hyungwon struggled to break free, everything happening too fast since Kihyun had shouted for him to get down. The person suddenly turned into an infected, pulling the trigger before jumping at him. The other person stood in shock, blocking Kihyun from his view.

Hoseok tried to push the infected away from Hyungwon, tackling it to the floor and leaving Hyungwon catching for his own breath. Hyunwoo appeared and pointed a gun at the person who was still at the door before they noticed.

“Shit, Kihyun was shot!” Hyunwoo cussed, making Hyungwon get up quickly and pushing the stranger away,  “Minhyuk! Get first aid!”

That was when the person turned to Hyunwoo, “Did you just say Minhyuk?” 

Before anyone could even answer, Minhyuk appears with the anti-virus and a first aid kit, “ Hyung? ” The person continued and Minhyuk froze.

“Minjun?” Minhyuk hurriedly sticks the anti-virus to the infected that Hoseok tackled, a loud screech was heard before the infected suddenly became lifeless under his friend. 

“Who are these people?” The stranger, Minjun as Minhyuk had called him, asked, ignoring everything that was currently happening. 

But Hyungwon was quick to tackle him down to the floor, his gun flying across the room, as Hyungwon’s hands tugged him on his shirt, “Why the fuck did you shoot?!” He screamed, throwing out a punch to the person under him who was trying to break free. He ignored Minhyuk who was telling him to stop as he continued punching the person for shooting Kihyun.

“Hyungwon stop!” Minhyuk called out, trying to pull him away, but was only successful when Jooheon had helped pushing him away, “He’s my fucking brother!”

“He shot Kihyun!” 

“I didn’t know you were with my brother!” The beaten tried to defend, “I’m sorry! Haknyeon turned and he screamed and I accidentally pulled the trigger!” 

Hyungwon was ready to punch him again but Jooheon appeared and held his arm from taking a swing, “You need to calm down first.”

He tugged his arm away from the grip, turning around to see Kihyun who was sprawled on the floor, with Changkyun and Hyunwoo trying to attend to the shot, “He’s down. We need to get the bullet out,” Hyunwoo said, easily carrying Kihyun on his arm, “Hoseok, I need your help on this one.” 

Hyunwoo ignored Hyungwon’s agitated presence and moved past him, going upstairs to Kihyun’s obtained room while Hoseok brought the infected with him. Jooheon tugged on Hyungwon’s arm once again but this time, Hyungwon followed. 

If looks could kill, Hyungwon’s eyes boring on the beaten person next to Minhyuk would’ve been dead, “If something bad happens to him, you better watch out.” He threatened before walking past them, ignoring the apologetic look in his best friend’s eyes.

“I didn’t know.” was the last thing Hyungwon had heard before he slammed the door of his shared room with Jooheon because Hyunwoo didn’t want to open the door to Kihyun’s. 

Hyungwon couldn’t get a grip on what had happened and blamed all of it to himself. It was a silent conversation that he was having with Jooheon who was in the same room as his, Minhyuk remained with his “ brother”, and the rest taking care of Kihyun and the infected, 

Hyungwon fucking regrets that he left Kihyun alone for a while, just in time for a trespasser to appear and hold him down defenseless. If Hyungwon didn’t find Kihyun, who knows what could’ve happened to him. Most likely be the one who could’ve been bitten by the infected but still shot.

It took them a whole hour before someone finally appeared in their room, “He’s okay,” was the first thing Changkyun had said, looking all sweaty with some blood stains on his shirt, “Hyunwoo hyung said you can come only if you’ve calmed down.”

“I’m fucking calm.” was Hyungwon’s response, walking past Changkyun to go to Kihyun’s room.

Opening the door, Hyunwoo was there cleaning up the things he had used, looking way worse than Changkyun but managed to welcome Hyungwon with a smile, “He only got shot in the arm but the bleeding made him pass out. People aren’t really that healthy in the middle of an apocalypse.” 

“Still shouldn’t have gotten shot,” Hyungwon said, taking a seat on the chair near the bed where Kihyun laid asleep.

Kihyun laid on his back with a bandage on his left arm, a cast ringed around his body in case he woke up, the newly stitched wound wouldn’t be stretched. He was sound asleep, lips parted a little as heaves of breath came out from it. Hyungwon took his right hand against his as he kept his eyes staring at Kihyun. 

“It’s not your fault,” Hyunwoo said, finally closing the medical kit, “It’s no one’s fault.” 

“I know.” 

“But I still think you should apologise to Minhyuk’s brother,” Hyunwoo continued, this time looking at Hyungwon seriously, “It was unexpected and I understand how you must have felt. Neither knew what was happening.”

“I know,” Hyungwon repeats, only calmed by the idea that Kihyun is okay.

It was understandable that Hyungwon allowed his anger to get to him because of his fear of losing Kihyun again . Hyungwon already stayed quiet for an entire hour, waiting to know what happened to Kihyun before he could decide on what he should feel next. For all he knows, he wouldn’t be able to forgive himself if Minhyuk’s brother accidentally shoots Kihyun dead. But then again, Hyungwon had a gun pointed at his head too and it didn’t matter as much to him. It didn’t matter that he got attacked by an infected. What matters the most was that Kihyun is okay. 

Hyungwon couldn’t sleep the rest of the night. Seeing the sun rise from the small window that he expected to be able to watch with Kihyun. Maybe he still did but Kihyun was asleep. 

Kihyun didn’t move an inch in the night, but Hyungwon knew he was still alive because of how his chest moved to breathe. His lashes flutter in his sleep every now and then as Hyungwon keeps his fingers intertwined with Kihyun’s. He wanted to be there the moment the latter wakes up.

Hyungwon was also reminded that it was Minhyuk’s birthday. His brother really arrived at a good fucking time with a wonderful surprise.

Two more hours after the sun had risen, Hyungwon started to hear people moving on the other side of the door. A light knock was heard before the door opened ajar, Minhyuk’s brother appearing. 

If Hyungwon didn’t reflect the entire night that he was awake, he would’ve snapped and thrown a punch the moment he saw who it was. But he did reflect and his mind was at peace so he just gave the other a small smile when he appeared. 

“Is he okay?” Minjun quietly asked, face full of bruises that Hyungwon had left, voice a little hoarse, “I’m really sorry.”

Hyungwon hummed a yes, “Just a wound. Nothing big.” 

“I’m really sorry,” Minjun repeated, “I really do. I didn’t know my brother was here and I got scared when he shouted and I saw my friend–”

“It’s okay.” Hyungwon cut him off, “It’s fine. I understand. I’m sorry too…. For that.” He apologised, pointing at the bruises, “You okay?” 

“Been through more,” He shyly nodded, “Thank you for taking care of my brother and my friend. I didn’t know what was happening anymore after trying to live off for months. Didn’t even know there was a cure already.”

Hyungwon could tell the younger was still tense with him by the way he spoke, so he ruffled his hair a little in an attempt to ease the tension, “We don’t know a lot of things.” 

Minjun finally let out a smile, looking back at Kihyun who was still asleep, “Is he your… boyfriend?” He blurted out the question, unsure whether he asked the correct question or not.

Hyungwon wasn’t able to contain a smile, chuckling, “You can say that,” He answered bluntly, “Why? Do we look cute together?”

“Yeah….?” Minjun scrunched his nose, his lips now turning into a grin, “He was literally willing to die for you last night.” 

His mind suddenly remembered the fear he had last night when he realised Kihyun was gone when he got back to the living room. At first he thought Kihyun was only hiding but seeing him with a gun pointed at his head, Hyungwon didn’t know what to do. His mind was a mess that he let his actions move on its own, only thinking that he needed to save Kihyun. 

But looking at Kihyun laid in front of him, Hyungwon was reminded of the fear if Kihyun would die for him, “He did that, huh?” Hyungwon mumbles as if Kihyun shouldn’t have, “I don’t know what I would do if he would be gone from my life again,”

“So that’s what it’s like to be in love,” Minjun said knowingly, raising his brows at Hyungwon and Hyungwon teasingly pushed him away, “I’ll go get some food. Do you want anything?”

“I’ll go with you,” Hyungwon nodded at Minjun before standing from his seat, patting Kihyun’s hair, “I’ll be back.” 

Minjun continued to converse with him, asking little things about where they came from and how they were able to reach Gwangju. Hyungwon made sure to keep his answers short, knowing that Minhyuk would rather be the one telling him all of these stories once they had the chance to talk about it. 

The rest of them were already huddled up in the kitchen, including Hoseok and Hyunwoo who had to replace them last night as lookouts. Minhyuk was busy dividing the shares of food, of course making sure he has the most today. It was his birthday after all.

“Hyungwon hyung is here,” Minjun spoke once they entered the kitchen. Minhyuk was quick to turn his head towards their direction, Hyungwon giving him a small smile before putting an arm around Minjun, “We're good now.”

“Happy Birthday,” said Hyungwon, the atmosphere still a little awkward because of how they all saw Hyungwon on top of Minjun, the bruises still present, and how they’re standing in front of them now all made up and okay.

It took a while before Minhyuk broke into a soft smile, motioning Hyungwon to come to him to get his share of food.

“How’s Kihyun?” Minhyuk couldn’t help but ask. Of all people, Hyungwon could feel Minhyuk’s burden, taking responsibility for what his brother accidentally did because it wouldn’t have happened if he was there that night.

But like Hyunwoo said, it was no one’s fault and Hyungwon could only hope that Minhyuk thinks so too.

“Still asleep,” Hyungwon hummed, “I’ll probably go upstairs again after eating.”

“Why?” Jooheon joined the conversation in a teasing manner, “Want to be the first one Kihyun sees when he wakes up?”

“Sure,” He bit back, keeping a straight face making Jooheon roll his eyes, “Why? Can’t believe I actually do?”

Jooheon was about to continue the banter, dissing Hyungwon’s confidence when Changkyun walked in the kitchen with someone.

“Actually, I saw Changkyun first,” Kihyun’s voice came out a little hoarse from his sleep, making Hyungwon get up from his seat and go to Kihyun.

“You’re awake,” Hyungwon rushed to Kihyun to assist him but the other just mumbled that he was okay, “You sure?”

Kihyun nodded reassuringly, “Am I too late to the party?” he asked the others, a bright smile on his face despite having a cast around his arm. It made the rest return a smile, Hyungwon placing a hand on his back to push him closer.

“The party won’t start without you,” Minhyuk responded with the biggest smile he could offer, handing the food that was supposed to be for Hyungwon to Kihyun. 

They squeezed around the wooden table with everything that was left from their supplies. Hyunwoo and Hoseok managed to cook with the gasoline stove that Minhyuk had in their house, making a simple feast just for Minhyuk’s birthday.

Hyungwon stayed by Kihyun’s side, assisting him even though the latter kept on insisting he was fine. Eventually, Minjun approached them, making Kihyun lean on Hyungwon in surprise.

“I-I won’t hurt you,” Minjun tried to reassure but Kihyun looked at Hyungwon for more reassurance.

“He’s Minhyuk’s brother, Minjun,” Hyungwon said simply. Enough to answer everything that’s going on inside Kihyun’s head. 

“Oh,” Kihyun’s mouth fell agape in realisation, that everything that he had said last night all made sense, “So, this really is your house.” 

“Yeah,” Minjun nodded shyly, “But I’m really sorry. I didn’t 1mean to shoot you. I swear it was an accident.” 

Kihyun could sense the regret laced in Minjun’s voice and the sincerity in his eyes. It made his heart soften that he started rambling things, “It’s fine, I’m alive!” He said, “At least I finally got to rest properly?”

Minjun chuckled, feeling the big weight lifted from his shoulders, “Thank you for forgiving me.” 

“It’s no big deal,” Kihyun smiled at him, “But can I just ask something?”

“Hmm?”

“What happened to your face?” Kihyun curiously asked, noticing the bruises on the younger’s face that weren’t there when he first saw him.

The question made Minjun chuckle and Hyungwon sank in his seat, “You might want to ask your boyfriend about that,” Minjun replied, a teasing smile appearing on his lips.

Kihyun furrowed his brows in confusion, “Boyfriend?” he repeated, “I’m not sure what you’re talking about?” 

Noticing his peripheral vision, Kihyun could sense Hyungwon shaking his head at Minjun who seemed to be enjoying the situation he put Hyungwon in. He turned to look at Hyungwon who looked back at him immediately with a cheeky smile.

From that smile, Kihyun was quick to catch on to who Minjun was talking about.

“What is he talking about?” Kihyun raised his eyebrow at him, and the other just smiled even more, “Chae Hyungwon.” 

“And that’s my cue to leave,” Minjun chuckled, walking back to the kitchen where the rest were.

Kihyun watched how immersed the others were with their conversation, before looking back at Hyungwon who was still smiling.

“What was he talking about?” Kihyun repeated sternly, hitting the other’s arm with his free hand. 

But Hyungwon was quick to grab his hand, holding it against his, “I didn’t say anything,” said Hyungwon, “He was the one who said you’re my boyfriend.”

Kihyun started to feel his cheeks heat up from the touch and whatever Hyungwon had just said. So he tried to pull his hand away, changing the conversation, “I meant his face! Why did you punch him!”

“Oh that,” His grip tightened around Kihyun’s hand, keeping it in place, “He shot you.” 

“Yeah dumbass, but why punch him like that!”

“I was scared I’d lose you again.” 

Those words made Kihyun froze, heart pacing up its beating as his eyes met Hyungwon’s own.

“I don’t know what I’d do if I lose you again,” Hyungwon continued and Kihyun knew he meant every word he said.

Kihyun could feel Hyungwon start rubbing circles on the back of his hand. He could feel that Hyungwon still has a lot to say but is just holding back because of him. Because of Kihyun.

And Kihyun knew that he, himself, was holding back too.

“Hey,” Kihyun breathed out, “I’m here now, aren’t I? I’m alive.”

Hyungwon smiled softly at him, moving their hands to intertwine. Kihyun could feel his heart bursting at the small gesture, wanting to pull their hands closer to him so that Hyungwon could get closer to him as well. 

But Kihyun just smiled back at him, feeling the comfort of someone next to him. Of people with him that he treats as a family. 

He looked back at the others once again, seeing the smiles painted on their lips as the sound of laughter filled their surroundings. 

He finally found his reason. 

But Kihyun knew this wasn’t the end just yet. It was only the start of the real beginning and they still have a lot to face in the future. But in all of the things Kihyun knows, only one thing matters: 

They’re alive.