Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

You had never really liked this place. It was just, so dead. Usually, you were all for deserted places, not really liking social interactions, or interactions in general. But the smell of emptiness and antiseptic that filled the dimply lit white corridors made you feel queasy, almost being able to taste it in your mouth. Your eyes glanced at every corner and slight movement of shadow, on edge despite how many times you’ve walked this route through the research centre.

That’s right, you worked in the Monster and Mage Research Centre. MaMRC was not as new as the public were led to believe, the government already knew of the existence of monsters before they were released from Mt Ebbot, gathering the brightest minds of the world in order to find a way to either establish peace with the magic users.. or dominate them. You honestly were just interested in magic as a whole, not really interested in the whole, ‘Power is everything’ idea that many of your colleagues had to encourage them to continue work. You were still here because well the idea of magic going ‘fuck reality’ and doing weird shit was entertaining to you. And well, you weren’t going to complain about the pay either, you were pretty well off.

So you stayed, well aware any morally correct person would have quit by now. But you weren’t quite sure what happened to the people who did quit… you didn’t think it was anything good. Your footsteps echoed in the hallway, a soft tap of hard soles on tiles. Suppressing the urge to shiver, you knocked on a large set of black doors. The glossy black coating on the wood gleamed in morbid entertainment at your clear unhappiness of the situation. It’s not often one is called to these doors over intercom… and when they came back, if they came back, they were never the same. You wince at the memory of Maple, a magic theorist who made you coffee sometimes, coming back a few weeks after being called to the doors. She looked like a shell, hollow eyes and flat responses instead of her usual chipper personality. Which is probably why despite your tough guy ego you were basically two jump scares from fainting.

Fiddling with the decorative black rings on your fingers, you made a small wheeze when the doors opened, sweat gathering on your forehead at the knowledge this is the most danger you have been in for a long time. Aware of who you had to talk to. “Y/N, come in, do not touch anything.” Came a cold feminine voice, the owner of the voice levelling a calculated look in your direction, narrowing their brown eyes, her perfect eyeliner only making her look more sharp. Ahah, this how you die. With a few tentative steps, the only sound in the room was the rustling of fabric from your slightly crinkled lab coat. You were about to greet the lady in-front of you but the black doors slamming shut caused you to jolt and calm up, your only exit sealed until she made it open again.

“Do you know why I’ve called you here for?” She asked slowly, standing from her large leather chair to circle around her mahogany desk, leaning on it slightly as she gave you a quick once over. She looked at you like a piece of shit, you probably were in her eyes. A small insignificant bug. A stain on her white carpet.

“N.. No madame Percera. I am not aware,” Your dull eyes made Bering eye context with her dark ones, quickly averting your gaze to focus on the clean shiny marble tiles. They had streaks of gold, cool. Cool cool cool, this was all cool. Nothing to worry about. Internally sighing at how bad you were at lying to yourself you force yourself to meet her gaze again.

“Well, I have a problem. A threat. And from this, I’m proposing you a deal.”

“And if I- If I don’t accept?”

“I heard you have a son. Mark, right? His testing came up with almost pure amounts of Bravery in his soul. He could be an asset to my work with mages, Y/N.” Percera smirked, knowing she is already going to get her way. Black hair bouncing as she gave a small, rehearsed giggle.

Your mouth ran dry, with wide eyes you realised how completely wrapped around this woman’s finger you are. How utterly humiliated and helpless you were in this moment. You were finally understanding how deep you are into the worst side of humanity. And thus begins your story, anyone who hears it will realise, scientists don't always get along.

Chapter Text

Y/N’s POV

Honestly not how I thought that would go, though maybe the whole ‘my boss murders me with her extremely expensive pen’ was a better conclusion than what has occurred. After being let out of the office of hell, reality came crashing down on me. Even my scum of the Earth co-workers felt bad, letting my sorry ass sit in the break room for the rest of the day. Most of the remainder of the shift was a horrid blur of panic and hysteria, this deal wasn’t a deal, it was a threat. Why had I even been picked for this task? Was it some morbid joke to make my last moments as horrible as possible?

Walking up the stairs to my apartment was hard, if felt like my suitcase held the weight of the world. The elevator would have been lovely to take, but if I stopped moving, I fear I would shut down. This is all cool, all chill. This is fine. At least that’s what I tell myself as I walk down the bland hallways to my front door. Its red paint was flaking off, making the door mat look like there were small flecks of blood. Some of it may be blood, my tax evading ‘housemate' was always coming home with scrapped up knees and Knicks on his fingers. As I unlock the three locks on my door, I hear the excited footfalls of my favourite person in the world.

“Dad! Welcome home!” A blur of curly hair greeted me, bright golden eyes crinkled from the big toothy grin aimed at me. With a chuckle I scooped up the rascal giving him a big hug. Mark didn’t really understand what was happening, why the hug felt more emotionally charged than usual, but resigned and hugged me back. I mumbled a quick hello to him before putting him back on his own two feet, ruffling the curls in his hair, an attribute given to him by his birth mother. Mark had the same colour hair as me and facial features, but he had his mother’s warm coloured skin, well built structure. One thing he had that was uniquely him, were the golden brown eyes that almost had an orange tint.

Mark’s mother was an old lover of mine, a few bad choices when I was a young man partying led to the best two things to ever happen to me: 1) Found out how much I didn’t like women in that way and 2) Mark’s birth. Being a couple at the time, it was a very awkward conversation to have, but in the end, it was decided I would raise Mark and we’d start seeing different people. Which was fine and dandy if I had ever found the time to date again, being a single parent wasn’t too hard, most people assumed your wife had died tragically and you were never going to be emotionally available ever again. In other words, people sucked, not being a single parent.

Following Mark to the kitchen where my precooked dinner was being heated up in the microwave, I began to wonder how Mark would feel about this very sudden change to my work schedule. I’d be completely unavailable for Monday, Monday night, Tuesday, Thursday, Thursday night and Friday. But I’d have the whole weekend and Wednesday off of work. I’m not really sure how fair that is from a kid’s point of view, but it wasn’t really up to Mark, I was doing this to keep him safe after all. “Hey kiddo, c’mere and stop smooshing your face on the microwave for a moment.” Patting the seat next to me at the kitchen table as I sat down. Mark scurried over, stopping his intense staring competition with out half thawed curry, and pulled himself onto the chair. He sat cris cross apple sauce and gave me a look that usually appeared when we were playing ‘Knights and Dragons’, it was the ‘serious hero face’. “Yeah? What’s wrong? Do I need to punch someone for you dad? I will.”

“Wh- You won’t be punching anyone Mark!” I pinched the bridge of my nose to try and hide my amused smirk. Though from the snickering in front of me, I failed at it. “I had a work timetable change, while I do a special research project. I wanted to know how you feel about me only coming home on Tuesday night, staying Wednesday and Wednesday night, then leaving until the weekend. I’ll come back home for emergencies or if you get scared and I’m available to pick you up at anytime to take you to school or a friends house. I’d probably get Marie from next door to look after you since you love her so much.”

“MARIE CAN SLEEPOVER, YAY!”

“HEY- You are meant to be sad I’m not home!“ I jokingly scolded.

“Of course I’m sad, but Marie and her boyfriend Dave are the coolest! They are artists! You are boring scientist. Sorry you had to pick a boring job.” Mark gave me a small pat on the shoulder before smiling at me, “We get the whole weekend together though! You never have the weekend off! Imagine what we can do in two whole days!”

“Well you’ll probably be eating most of it, all you do is eat lately, stop growing up it’s scary. You are only ten. I don’t want you to be taller than me, you hear me?” My shortness was showing through, being 5’6” was a weak spot.

“I’LL BE SIX FEET TALL AND SUPER STRONG, UNLIKE YOU.”

“I hope you don’t talk to your friends or teachers like this.”

“No, just you dad.” Mark winked at me (‘When did he learn to do that?’) and skipped over to the now beeping microwave, pulling out the two Tupperware containers and handing one to me with a fork. “Go finish your work while I do my homework so then we can watch tv before bed!”

“Sounds like a plan kid, though you forgot something.”

“Uhg, please?”

“Aight, eat normally so you can actually taste the food, ya mini void. I’ll be in my office making a few phone calls.” And with that I grab my dinner and shuffle to my office, while Mark ears his food like a vacuum cleaner at the kitchen table. ‘Weirdo, my weirdo. But still a weirdo.’

Dropping my suitcase and dinner on my desk I plop down into my chair with a sigh, running a hand through my hair as I slumped into the leather. I could really use a nap but there is work to be done, not to mention I may have nightmares of the ‘talk’ my boss had given me. It was a foolish choice of mine, to refuse to design a magic defusing collar. As much as I was against the idea, now it wasn’t monsters who were in danger, it was me. I wasn’t even sure who in the government was funding the research and keeping all the scientist disappearances on the down low, but until they lost power, I had to obey. And I’d messed up real good by doing exactly not that. My already morally grey self was wondering if I should even bother trying to do the right thing next time. Mark is worth more to me than any stranger, innocent or not. Getting my priorities straight as I dialled one of the numbers that were given to me.

To my annoyance they never answered, the automated voice message being a pun only aggravated me further, this person was meant to be the legal guardian of the two monsters I was being forced to investigate and research. Two monsters, of the skeleton variety called Dash and Stall. Video footage of them teleporting was found, not to mention a few recorded exchanges of ‘aggression’ (‘though to me it seemed more like social anxiety') and some confusing results for the Monster Standard Health Check-up. Data often used by my workplace to base realistic magic quantities off of. They were a part of a large family, with Sans and Papyrus being the heads of the house and acting as legal guardians for a few monsters who were yet to acquire a few certifications that enabled then to be an independent individual.

‘Actually, fuck legal guardians, these monsters are older than my 29 year old self. And one of them graduated the underground’s online collage with a doctorate for fucks sake. Sans can suck one I’ll just call them.’ With that decided I called Stall, while listening to the ringtone I looked over his file. Stall seemed to be a smart man, but had a serious injury to his legs. Maybe the injuries were the cause of such odd magic recordings? Before I could think further on the topic a voice sounded from my phone.

“ello?” It was short and simple, great.

“Hello, is this Stall Serif?” I ask, excited someone finally picked up the goddamn phone. Screw you Sans that was four missed calls.

“Er, yeah, in the flesh. Who are you?” If they thought they were concealing any suspicion in their voice than they were obviously not as bright as I had assumed. Or maybe as socially inept as myself.

“I’m F/N L/N, I’m from the MaMRC. It’s been brought to my attention that you and your brother Dash has some abnormal results for your health check-up and few incidents in the public have been reported to the government. Now you aren’t in any trouble, but the government and the monster Royals are curious as to what is exactly happening.”

“Oh...” There was a tense moment, “not really keen on knowing, but what are you going to do about all ‘dat?”

“Well I’ve been assigned to partially live with you, do some general research on your magic and in general health, report it to the Royals and my MaMRC and then what happens after isn’t up to me. I know this is probably intimidating, but I really mean no harm. I have alot about you in the folder I’m holding and you know very little about me, so I’m asking for your email so I can send you some information about myself, some details about the arrangement and what might happen. It’s my duty right now to make sure you and your brother are well informed and comfortable with me coming to live with you and conduct some non-invasive research.” 'That was a mouthful, and now they have gone silent again.’

“Yeah okay, it was getting boring out here anyway, I would also like to know what’s going on with my magic. Here I’ll text you my email.” Stall managed to get out before messaging me an email that reminded me of Gamertag. ‘[email protected]’ was soon sent a few documents. I’m fairly certain the guy is freaking out right now, most monsters who went through this process were fine, but the few who weren’t fine were arrested, hospitalised (due to having magic deficiencies and other magic illnesses) or separated from the general public due to being deemed too dangerous (uncontrollable magic, dangerous and aggressive behaviour were usually the main causes).

Stall’s POV

Stall realises that maybe sneaking his brother and himself to the hospital to get treated, against Sans' wishes, was probably the worst thing he could have ever fucking done in his life. His brother was just in desperate need of medication for depression and he could barely move without his legs screaming at him, eventually it was too much and he just did what he thought was best. Got stuff to ease the pain, help his older brother cope. He even registered Prime Sans as his guardian, thinking it’d maybe make up for sneaking out.

His brother Dash was looking at him funny, blue eyelights making question marks in the shorter’s eye sockets as he fiddled with his threadbare blue bandana, “Papy? What’s wrong?”

Stall blinked before fiddling with the drawstring of his slightly too small orange hoodie, “How do you feel about making a secret friend?”

Chapter Text

Dash POV

Curious rings of blue looked at the information presented to him on his brother’s laptop. Not that it was the best laptop, the screen was black in some places and missing keys were never replaced, but it did the job of relaying all the legal documents and a little resume like description of the scientist who had contacted his younger brother.

Speaking of his younger brother, Papyrus looked more anxious. The slight sound of shaking bones as the taller tries to think of a solution to the current situation, though Dash was sure things would turn out okay. And even if not, there wasn’t much that could take the magnificent Sans down! And his equally as awesome brother. Dash had only recently been feeling this level of confidence and optimism, years with no hope made feeling like this odd. It was almost like learning how to sing a song you heard on the radio a few months ago, familiar but unfamiliar enough that you mess up sometimes.

“I think you are worrying a tad too much. They have obviously chosen to come straight to us than rather through Prime me, so he doesn’t know, right?” Dash asked, his voice wasn’t as high pitched as it once was, nor as loud, when he spoke there seemed to be an underlying rumble noise, it was magic damage. Sans knew that and he wasn’t even a scientist. He’d caused irreversible damage to his magic, though he was learning through the long talks with his brother that it wasn’t his fault that it happened.

“er… well nah. ‘dey would’ve came around and asked wat happened…” Oh how Dash missed his usually witty and sarcastic brother. Papyrus has grown even more anxious over the years, while he still held more hope and optimism for the future than Dash himself, it was never seen through his over-analytical and stressed mind. Sometimes he wondered if he was the cause for the worry that plagued his brother. Sometimes he felt bad he couldn’t understand how his brother felt. It tore him up when he was alone at night, where the darkness was oppressive and if felt like he was trapped again.

Luckily he never slept alone anymore or in the dark, Papyrus really was awesome. “See Papy! If we keep the human scientist a secret, then they’ll never know and the humans can get what they need. Then they leave and we pretend this never happened. You did no wrong brother, you did a good thing and all good things have good and bad consequences. So don’t worry too much, we can do this!”

He wasn’t really sure if he believed himself, but Dash watched his brother run a shaky hand down his face and nod. His brother struggled to stand from the couch, legs not strong enough to support his long frame. Dash’s blue gloved hand passes a handmade walking stick to his brother, a gift from one of the other more… scary brothers, like them. Not that Dash thought Papyrus or himself looked scary, sure the slight discolouration and stains from blood was offpytting, as well as the decent sized crack that made one of his eye sockets deformed. But his brother just looked like a stretched Stretch, with some really scraped up legs, he had sustained damage early. Dash had kept his younger brother safe in the house, taking on the brunt of the after affects of the change of leadership. Tracing the sharp edges of his eye socket absentmindedly he fought the urge to scratch at it.

“yeah okay bro… should we tell Mars and Jupiter?” Papyrus limped across the creaky floorboards of the weatherworn house they were forced to live in. It was in no better condition than that poor laptop, holes in the ceiling and paint flaking like dried blood. Electricity didn’t really work well on the better of days and the lack of insulation would definitely cause issues for any temperature sensitive monster or a human.

“I guess we should! How about you rest for a bit and I go tell them?”

“no I… yeah okay, I was feeling kinda tired.. stay safe?”

“Always! I’m the safest person around!” Dash tried to ignore how hard it was to force the words out and the slight slurring at the end of his sentence, looks like he hadn’t improved as much as he thought he did. He jumped slightly when his brother papyrus, or as nicknamed, Stall, patted him on the head gently.

“don’t worry bout it bro, you won’t relapse or fall back to old habits, go have fun and let them two know what is up, ok?”

Dash nodded his head, not needing anymore prompting as he- well- dashed out the door. (Pun not intended, but much appreciated). Running through the underbrush and jumping over fallen trees was natural, the wind whipping around his signature bandana and grey T-shirt. After a while Dash shifted from two legs to running on all four. This is really what set him apart from his younger doppelgänger, Blue may be built for battle, but Dash was built to hunt. His body changed overtime and he became more instinctual and primal than even the other starved brothers. Dash turned into the monster that the hero’s of stories tried to fight, not being the hero had really messed him up. Playing the bad guy wasn’t natural and he had to sacrifice a lot of his old self in order to survive.

Two horrid months of speech therapy with Pime Papyrus so he could finally apologise to his brother. Then a year of relearning social norms and how to care properly for himself. Then another year of struggle as he finally felt the depression and burn of the words and looks the other versions of himself, of his brother, gave him. Blue still teared up around him- Honestly he wasn’t an anima-

His last thought was ended as he came crashing onto the figure who had teleported infront of him, he wasn’t expecting the sudden appearance. Skidding through the decaying leaves and dirt, Dash flipped positions so that he could protect the other from any damage. As much as he would have liked to see a bit of karma, he wasn’t keen on hurting someone and getting the blame. He felt dirt force it’s way into his joints and the sticks and leave scratch against him and his impromptu ride buddy.

“Shit, ‘ta fuck man!” Ah yes. Red was the only person who could get suckered in enough to deliver food willingly and muster even the slightest bit of pity for them.

Dash just groaned in pain, he’d been travelling so fast they had at least traveled ten or so meters across the ground. “Dash ya fuckin’ demon Shi- Dash? Ay? Fucking respond- Shit c’mon are you okay?”

Dash thinks he said something back, his eye socket felt like it was caving in again, he must have hit it and aggravated the wound. He just needed a minute to let his mind catch up to his body. He felt Red hop off of him, and someone pull him into a sitting position. After a few more seconds he’d collected himself enough to register and express his pain. “FUCK, OWIE, AHG STICKS IN PLACES MEANT FOR NO ONE.”

“YOU RAN INTO ME YA STUPI’ FUCK-“

“NO YOU TELEPORTED IN FRONT OF ME.”

Red was on the verge of snapping at Dash, but suddenly stopped. Dash stood up and was shaking off dirt and other things from the floor out of his shirt and pants. “Did you need assistance standing?”

Red ignored the question, pulling his leather clad body off of the floor with a huff and giving Dash a look he hasn’t really seen before. “You look healthier, you know. But you are just as dumb.”

“Excuse me-“

“Why are you nice to us? The lodge treats you like you are still feral, so why? You can easily fall into old habits and just kil-“

“Because I’m tired, Red! I’m still Blue, Red! Cause I’ve already done horrible things, I have no need to do more! Now- Flicker and Waver need more food, go fucking feed them, Red.” Dash spat out the edgy skeleton’s name like poison, before turning tail and taking the long way to Mars and Jupiter’s house.

Y/N’s POV

“What colour shirt looks best, blue or red?”

“In my totally unbiased opinion I say orange.” Replied Mark, who was swinging around a wooden sword I’d gotten him last Christmas.

With an eye roll I take his words in stride as I grab myself a brown one instead and a black leather jacket to wear over it. As much as I loved Mark, he needs to learn to wear new colours.

“Wow, you are just amazing at helping me pack, what would I ever do without you?” Honestly it was a relief to receive the email of acceptance from Stall and the time and date, as well as location for my formal sleepover. Next week.

I’ve got one whole week to prepare myself.

And they have one whole week to pull their act together before I arrive.

Chapter Text

Y/N POV

See, I didn’t realise how not prepared for this I was until I was on the verge of tears and driving away from the apartment complex, a horrible rainbow mishmash of beads hang from my wrist. Mark had made it, and spelled completely incorrectly it read ‘Bester Dadz’ Apparently Mark had found it in his bead collection having made it ages ago, and to match it he made a little phone chain thing all the cool aesthetic people had (Ayo shout out if you have one of those swag phone accessories). In all honesty the rainbow completely clashed with the brown and black sweater and dark blue jeans I wore. That didn’t stop me from immediately putting it on and wearing it with pride.

Sure, this whole experience is literally my worst nightmare. Being awkward and disliking people was bad enough but see now I’m just going to look like I hate monsters. Maybe I should just announce I hate everyone equally as the first thing I say to them? Like “Hi, I’m Y/N and I hate everyone, everything and myself. Thanks for letting me invade your home and stare at you like a weirdo until I deem you a basic bitch.”

Yeah nah, not working. You weren’t actually that hateful, you were just scared of opening up and unpredictable things, making you inherently dislike people. And living. It really wasn’t your fault, it was an instinct that was engraved into you when you were young, foster care sucked ass.

But yeah, back to the story, manly tears have dried and I’m are cruising down the road, away from Ebbot city and towards a thick forest that divided Ebbot from Mt Ebbot. It was a big forest. A big, scary, forest. Good thing nothing is more scary than my boss or I would be changing directions right now. If my calloused hands gripped the steering wheel to tight well… there was no one around to point it out. The thought almost made me relax, driving with other people was daunting. People were daunting. People. Ew.

The radio was talking about something- apparently a bunch of energy suddenly stopped existing at the power plant, probably the cause of the huge city blackout. Except, energy cannot cease to exist, energy cannot be created nor destroyed. Even with magic energy this was relevant, if you made something of magic in this world, you’d need magic energy of equal exchange, or even literally any kind of energy. I remembered the time I saw a fellow scientist make magic using electricity, the little bullet wasn’t much but at the same time it was amazing. If I didn’t work at the place I’d also be blaming the MaMRC for the blackout, like this obnoxious radio host was.

I glanced at my phone, which was sitting against the windshield, following Stall’s surprisingly easy to understand instructions to get to their cabin. They talked to me like a small child, sure, but it worked. And I am small. Fuck- I needed to stop remembering how short I am. Mumbling a few more choice words I changed direction and went into the deeper part of the woods, the small dirt road my care drove down was lined with wild flowers. Making a note to pick some later, I focused back in the journey ahead.

It was beautiful, the trees were so dense that the small bits of light that did make it to the forest floor looked like gold, highlighting the small animals and plants that were usually shrouded in darkness. Fallen trees had mushrooms of all kinds growing from them, and a fairy ring was even noticeable from the road. I should go sit in it and let fairies kidnap me so I didn’t have to do this.

It was only a two hour drive, and another half our to go. It wasn’t far enough and was also way to far. I wanted to go home, but just glared at the house I saw in the distance. Here is my stop, heh. With a dry chuckle I pulled up at the house, not even aware of the curious blue eye lights watching from the house’s window. I took a deep breath and leaned back in my seat, running a hand through my hair and then dusting off non-existent dirt. “You are a big kid Y/N, and the best dad in the whole fucking world. You can play house for a while. Plus monsters are not like humans. They aren’t as bitchy.”

Opening my eyes again I looked at the state of the house’s exterior. It was… bad. Like someone had found this abandoned house, and tried to make it loveable and liveable when it should have just been knocked the fuck down and forgotten about so a new, proper house could be built. That’s how I saw it at least. Where these monsters really that unfortunate? Last I heard monsters had enough money from gold that they could basically buy my apartment and then my whole block for a prank. Yet that didn’t seem to be the case as I observed the rotting wood and crumbling concrete. Vines seemed to hold one of the walls and most of the roof together, but it was obviously well loved and looked after as best as one could look after a wreck like this.

Hopping out of the car I opened the back I grabbed my suitcase and then two other bags, one full of food so I wasn’t leeching off of the house owners and as a gift. The other had so many files stuffed in it as well as my laptop, I was surprised that it hasn’t exploded open, that’d suck. Somewhat struggling but in a not very obvious way in order to keep my mysterious guy ego alive. So sucking it up I knocked on the door and moved one of my bags to a more comfortable position on my shoulder. The brittle wooden door swung open and I was met with blue and orange cloth in my face, looking up at the two soon to be housemates all I could say is one thing in my shock: “Fuck, I’m short.”

It was quiet for a few seconds as two sets of glowing eyes (?) stared at me in shrunken surprise. Then came the laughter, the tallest skeleton doubled over and almost fell on their non-existent ass. They were unnaturally tall and seemed to have a real issue with the structure of their leg bones. They had perfectly smooth bones and a huge grin as they straight up laughed at my unfortunate height situation. They were a dorky kind of cute with what I could only assume are the skeleton version of freckles on their face, what can I say, a man knows when to compliment another man and this was one of them times. Their laugh was loud and you could hear small ‘nyehs’ in between the usual laughter. But it was familiar enough for me to realise this was Stall.

On Stall’s right is who I assume is his brother Dash. To be frank they looked like someone had punched their eye socket in, the sharp edges didn’t look at all comfortable to have. But that didn’t stop the (still taller than me,) skeleton from crinkling their eye sockets in delight as they muffled a laugh in their blue bandana. They had blue rings as their eye light thingy unlike Stall’s plain white ones. They were noticeably more scraped up than his sibling, some discolouration was apparent and small nicks and calcifications over scratches. While they were less tall, they were a tad less lanky than Stall. Not to mention they seemed to have digitigrade legs, instead of the more human appearing legs Stall had, Dash must be able to run on all fours and jump far, based on other animals with legs like that. Also very cute, the fucked up eye socket just gave them more character in my opinion, they looked cool as hell.

“Haha, laugh at the short human. I’m Y/N, nice to meet you both, Stall, Dash.” An amused smile graced my lips as I fixed my hair. Dash was the first to collect himself and respond.

“Nice to meet you too, Y/N, the short human.” And we’ve lost Stall again , he was almost completely done laughing too. Dash looked proud about that. “Ignore my dear brother, come in come in! It’s been forever since we’ve had a guest!” Dash expertly directed the still laughing skeleton from the door frame and onto the couch.

“Thanks, I uh, brought food for us all- where can I put everything?” I awkward shifted my weight to my other foot.

“A- You brought food?” Dash was suddenly very excited, had they not tried human foods before? HAVE THEY NOT WITNESSED THE AMAZINGNESS OF MAPLE BACON?!?

“Yeah, fresh and storable long life stuff, it’s the first day and well I haven’t had lunch yet, so want me to cook something up for ya both?” This was awkward, but it’d be rude to make myself food and not offer any at all. Plus I just said it was for them too. “It’s the least I can do for making this process so easy for me.”

Stall was suddenly by my side in the mini living room, and very excited as well, “Y-yea’, food i’ good- can I help?” Seems like he was the chosen kitchen owner of the house, from personal experience you gotta put everything back the way it was, be clean and not waste a thing when at someone else’s home. Okay I lied I’ve never actually cooked at another person’s house and I don’t think visiting my neighbours count as going to someone’s house. I realise how lame I am when I nod at Stall. Stall then seemed to gain more confidence, posture straightening as he shuffled with his damaged legs to the kitchen. I follow along with the bag of food.

No one’s POV

You didn’t even notice the analytical look Dash gave you, this was a test to determine what kind of person you were of course, there was a rule that said if they didn’t like you, they could get a different scientist.

You weren’t exactly what the average person expects when someone says scientist. You were young and clearly mature and rational despite that. You wore flattering clothes and seemed to hold yourself in somewhat high regard. Little did Dash know you were singing ‘Shit’ by Bo Burhnam in your car on the drive here because you thought that you were indeed a useless fuck. Even now, you were humming the tune as you taught Stall how to make Maple Bacon like it was a sacred ritual.

And little did Stall know it basically was a sacred ritual in your household.

In this little moment, you chatted about the weather and your drive to the house with the two brothers, not even aware of how elated they seemed to be at talking to someone who wasn’t another version of them. By the time food was plated you had filled them in on most of your important information, leaving Mark out of the conversation so they didn’t tip anyone off that you had a defenceless 11 year old. You didn’t more people using your parent role against you.

Stall watched as Y/N managed to get his brother to pose like they did before everything went to chaos, it was refreshing, something none of the others could do due to their biased opinions towards Dash. They didn’t see how hard the other tried to be normal again, how desperate for acceptance Dash had become. Though he guessed they were right about some things, and one of them being how much stronger Dash was than them(, lol). Right now, despite being near an unknown human and severely disabled, Stall knew he was safer than any of them bastards, he hoped a bear broke in and ate one of their legs. Cause Dash would certainly be walking to help them , not ‘dashing’. That was a weak pun, damn.

Dash and Stall guessed you were okay, you hadn’t been rude or ran away screaming, so a definite yay. You brought food and cooked. Also a very good first impression. You were decent looking too, not overly amazing but just good looking in your own way. Though the bracelet was a funny clash with your outfit.

Y/N’s POV

I hummed softly as Dash helped me rearrange the living room to make a small bedroom/work area for me when I slept over. “There we go!” I jumped a little at the small rumble noise Dash made, oh my god- cat- He’s like a cat, the legs and the rumble noise I- D’awwwwwwww, that’s cute as, heck.

“Oh, sorry for startling you, human Y/N.” Dash said with an apologetic smile, he then sat on the couch and patted the spot next to him. “Can I talk with you for a second?”

“Sure thing.” Dropping my suitcase on my new air mattress, I awkwardly walk over it and then took a seat next to the now newly dubbed cat skeleton. “So… was I rude? I didn’t mean to be I just don’t usually like people or get along with others. You guys seem nice enough though.”

“Oh no- you haven’t offended us in any way, in fact I was expecting you to see my eye socket and high tail it out of here,” The blue rings expanded so that they were thicker, I’m assuming a lot of things today but that seems to be a good reaction, “I just wanna know what kind of tests will be conducted.”

“Well really first and foremost me living with you is a behavioral test. Then we have a magic level test, a simple device can be used for that. Then green magic response test, which is important if we are to need to care for you when injured or sick, where green magic is used on a medically induced cut. It won’t take any HP, just see how well you heal. Then we have cognitive response and reaction time tests, medical tests like eyesight and hearing. There will be a few days where I might take you to get treated at the dentist or hospital. We also take genetic and magic samples, you know how that is done though. If I find anything that needs further testing or a new thing to test I will let you know.”

It was quiet for a bit, “do you want to do this? You seem like you are unhappy with the arrangements.” Crap, was it that noticeable?

“I’m just anxious Dash, I’m really far from home and I mentioned as don’t usually get along with people. I feel better now I know you and Stall are nice people and I can get along with you.” It wasn’t a complete lie, though Dash seemed surprised at my honesty with my emotions.

It fell back into a comfortable silence, both of us watching the sun set out of the window, making the gold that leaked through the trees turn to red as we reflect. “We think you are a good person too, Y/N. You must be tired, feel free to rest, I’ll cook dinner for us all.” There was a pause, then Dash’s gloved hand rested on my head in a brief pat.

I watched as Dash then left, clearly happy with himself about something. But my face burned an embarrassed red, absolutely mortified at the physical contact.

Yeah, I was worried I mentally wouldn’t be able to handle being treated horribly, now… see now I’m worried I won’t be able to handle the opposite outcome.

Chapter Text

Helloooooooooo!

Just announcing that I haven’t worked out a schedule for updates yet, but I do know that for the next three weeks there will be no updates due to school. I’ll update when possible but it just doesn’t seem likely. For now, I’m allowing you, Y/N, to make some choices and ask some questions!

1) You go explore before you head home, what direction do you go?
A)Towards the mountain
B)Following a trail
C)To the mushroom ring

2) What characters that aren’t in tags are you interested in meeting or being included in the story?

3) Okay guys, pick Y/N’s best fancy/aesthetic outfit. If you win, the outfit will be featured in a special chapter in the future!

4) You go shopping for food, what are you buying?
A)Mexican ingredients
B)Italian ingredients
C)Asian ingredients
D)Fast food (lazy day)
E) Snacks, literally just snacks (It was a rough day, no judgement here)

…..

Are you still here Y/N?

Are you feeling comfy? Safe?

Is life treating you well?

Are you excited maybe, about what your choices may do?

…..

You should be
You shouldn’t be
It’s 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 choice after all

I have one more thing to l̶e̶t̶ y̶o̶u̶ k̶n̶o̶w̶ a̸s̸k̸ y̸o̸u̸, Y/N.

Number five, for you to answer…

5) ሃዐሁ ዕጕጌፕ ኗቿፕ ፕዐ ጕክዐሠ ዘዐሠ ሃዐዘዪ ልርፕጎዐክነ ልቻቻቿርፕ ዐፕዘቿዪነ
A) H̸a̸h̸a̸h̸a̸h̸a̸h̸a̸h̸a̸h̸a̸
B) y̶o̶u̶ f̶o̶r̶g̶o̶t̶
?)w҉h҉o҉ w҉a҉s҉ i҉n҉ C͟O͟N͟T͟R͟O͟L͟

☻︎

Chapter Text

The sunrise was beautiful, a dazzling display of colours presented itself as I lie in my makeshift bed, the threadbare sheets not really protecting me from the morning chill. If only my emotions could match.

“bro, you’re being too trusting… they are a serious threat to our safety, you’re too-“

“I’m not being too relaxed!”

“these tests are basic, they’ll end up needing to do more and it won’t be as tame, why can’t you listen to me-“

“If they step out of line, we can remove them. It’s not an issue brother, because they seem nice anyway.”

Yeah, arguing with each other as they made breakfast, I sighed. It was natural to feel this way, many monsters had. All I have to do is my job and keep them safe. With a small grunt as my sore muscles stretched, I sat up in my makeshift bed and shuffled off and onto my two socked feet, simple grey t-shirt and red sweatpants. Running a hand through my bed hair and wondering if I need a haircut as I lumber into the kitchen for coffee.

“Oh- uhm-“

“ah- we didn’ mean i’”

“It’s fine, I expected more distaste towards the situation, it’s okay to be upset.” I yawn, pausing halfway for reaching to the cabinet and then continuing to grab a mug. “Is it okay if I have some of the coffee you guys made?”

“S-sure?” Dash looked confused and pushed the still boiling kettle towards me, from its metal side. With his bare hand.

“OI! WHAT THE FUCK?” I quickly moved Dash’s hand from the kettle, tugging him over to the sink to run it under room temperature water, doing a mix between scolding Dash and grumbling to myself, “Don’t touch hot things like that! You’ll hurt yourself, my god, I came here to babysit grown men not go through the toddler raising stage all over again. If you had skin it’d be melted by now, oh my god.”

Stall, who had jolted in fright at my outburst was composing himself as he leant against the fridge to gain his balance again, “m-melted?”

“Skeletons don’t burn or really get affected by temperature, so you don’t need to worry!” Dash held a hand to his ribcage in fright, his shrunken eye lights slowly expanding as he let me fret over his hand. “I recommend not moving so fast though, you scared us.” He then patted my shoulder, slightly shaky.

Narrowing my eyes and for the first time in my life, having some goddamn forgiveness, I replied, “You scared me too. Y’know. But sorry, I’ll change my pace.” With that I release my prisoner and make myself a mug of straight black coffee. I don’t drink this stuff for it to taste nice, I drink it to feel alive in the morning.

I leant heavily against the counter and yawned as I sipped on my coffee, extremely groggy now that the parental adrenaline had worn off. I heard Stall snicker before he leant down to my height. “are you even ‘wake ‘ight now?” I stifled a yawn when he poked me just below my ribs, in order to try and prompt me to reply.

“Wait no, not the squishy bits-“ With a tired scowl I push Stall’s hand away slowly, “I used all my morning awake-ness in five seconds, let me remember how to live for a bit.”

Dash suddenly had a sly look on his face as he stirred milk into his coffee, speaking softly, “One could say… Y/N here feels dead on his feet.” …And Stall was in hysterics, again. It was honestly quite cute, how Dash put in the extra effort to make Stall’s day just a tad bit better. I had a small feeling it was less the bad joke that made Stall laugh and more it was Dash of all people who made the joke. It was refreshing to see such a strong sibling bond, I wondered if I’d ever get a bond like that with someone.

With an amused, faint smile I watched as dash pulled his TALL AS FUCK brother down to give them a noogie. Sure bone on bone sounded ew, but it was cute. Hey, who can blame me, if I like cute things and happen to look very badass? No one, because they’d probably never meet me and if they did it would be for like, five seconds. Throwing back the rest of my drink I slowly shuffle past and to my bed, pulling out my laptop and sitting at the small kitchen bench that acted as their only table.

“Are you going to get changed, Y/N?” Dash questioned as he took a seat next to me, the horrible scrapping noise of the stool snapping me out of my daze. I looked at them I realise the quality of their clothes, all of which looked slightly too small. Second hand clothes, slightly threadbare and in Dahs’s case literal jeans that had to be cut just below the knees to make room for his legs. I make a note to buy them some fancy clothes so they can feel cool in public, I know how embarrassing it can me to wear b-grade clothes in public places. People really are horrible.

“Oh hell no, I wear formal attire to work most days, when I’m here I’m living in PJs and sweatpants. It’s comfier and way more practical.” I chuckle and start my laptop up, glad it was already logged in so Dash didn’t see me type my password. I click on a few files and finally pull up the document that stated what needed to be done during my stay at the brother’s ‘home’. “This is what I need to do, today just means some magic samples and testing. Then I guess we can do whatever we want or you can kick me out.”

“Oh… is that really it?” I was given a funny look by my companion as he read through.

“Yeah, I’m no mad scientist, just a cool one. I only do magic theory and whatnot. I’m also a qualified general practitioner.” I say, not really all to impressed I couldn’t find a specialisation in the medical industry that interested me.

Stall was leaning over me and Dash to read the schedule, “d’ ya have any other PhDs? Doctorates?”

“Oh uh, yeah. PhD in mechanics and astrophysics… and also in astronomy. I actually wanted to make spaceships and satellites but here I am, stalking two skeletons for a living.”

“… that’s hot.” “BROTHER EXCUSE ME-“

Stall cackled evilly as he evaded his elder brother’s attacks of discipline. But I was too focused on not dying of heatstroke as I blushed harshly to care. Quietly I whisper to myself an array of swear words and unholy phrases that would make your average Christian grandma roll in their grave.

“HUMAN FRIEND I AM SO SORRY-“ “i’m not.” “STALL STOP! TEDDY IS A BAD INFLUENCE ON YOU!”

And so I did the only thing I could think of: “Actually I am equal parts hot and cool so I’d say the apt description of me would be ‘thermal equilibrium’.”

I said a really, really bad joke.

And it was silent for a while, as they processed what I said. Anxiously I fiddled with the drawstring of my pants as they both looked at me in what seemed to be shock.

Suddenly Dash just turned and left the room, looking horrified. “I need bleach for my non-existent ears now. I’ve never been more disappointed in my life.”

Stall looked at me and blinked, “‘dunno wether to laugh or cry right now. ‘at was actually so horrible.”

Sighing, I nodded, “Both, both is good.”

“if you said cold you could have made a Katy Perry joke as my bro left the room.”

Prime Sans POV

“PRIME, FUCKING WAKE UP RED GOT IN A FIGHT AGAIN.” Ah yes, the familiar voice of Black, if Sans had a mother he’d be sure that she’d be as disappointed in him as Black was half the time.

“YEAH C’MON PRIME, WE NEED YOUR HELP CALMING EDGE DOWN-“ And just when he considered getting up to help Red he was further convinced to stay in bed, not his brother, not his problem.

“I AM PERFECTLY CALM RIGHT NOW SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU OVERSIZED BLUEBERRY!” He sounds like he swallowed a cheese grater.

Ah, peaceful silence and- someone kicked the door in-

Sans yelped slightly as his brother tore the sheets off his bed, “Rise And Shine Brother! As It Is A New New Day, I Let You Sleep Through Yesterday As I Cleaned Your Room And Finally Found Your Phone In Your Trash Tornado!”

Sans managed a weak ‘yaaaaay’ as he sat up and stumbled to get dressed properly, his brother leaving and shutting the door behind him. Humming something vaguely similar to something he heard on the radio that one time as he did the bare minimum for self care. Shuffling out the door, he made a point to not look at his reflection in the mirror across the hall from him. Bags under his eyes and oh wow, it’s Mutt. “what happened?”

Mutt looked down at him after a moment, “Red accidentally got tackled by Dash. ‘parently he’s more interested in getting Dash some medical help than himself.”

Sighing, Sans make his way down the stairs to the main part of the mansion, living room. “red. what happened?” He paused when he saw the actual state of his alternate, covered in dirt and twigs sticking out of his band shirt… wait did he ever return home last night? “and where were you last night?”

“Okay so I slept in Teddy and… fuck I forgot his brother’s name… well I sleep in their house because I couldn’t be arsed walking back home after the shit show of walking there. Did you know they don’t have running water?”

Sans blinked, “uh no I didn’t. but they said it was fine?”

Red groaned, “course the fuckers said it was fine, they aren’t actively dying. I’m actually surrounded by fuckin idiots- not you Boss- are you all dense?”

Blue pouted and Stretch scowled. Whereas Papyrus seemed deep in thought and Black was whispering to Razz. Everyone looked at Mutt, when he spoke up, “so you are saying- they won’t tell us if they are in trouble, because they don’t trust us. an’ that Prime here, hasn’t been looking after them like ‘e said ‘e would?”

Razz seemed proud his brother managed to voice his idea in such a large crowd. Which worried Sans because soon Razz will be pestering the poor guy to be even more social, seems Razz didn’t want Mutt to inherit his hate for social niceties. Smart.

“OH MY FUCKING ASGORE THAT’S WHAT WE’VE BEEN TRYING TO SAY THE WHOLE FUCKING TIME-“ Edge facepalmed so hard it was a miracle it didn’t leave a mark. “SANS THEY’RE ACTUALLY STUPID- IT MAKES ME WANT TO VOMIT-“

Slim chuckled and patted Edge on the back, whispering to him, “s’okay big man, look at how upset Papyrus is, I’m sure we’ll all have to chip in and help the ferals. Maybe even convince the guys that left to come help.”

Edge narrowed a sharp glare at Slim and his sour as fuck brother, Black, who was scowling at the idea of having to help, “THEY AREN’T FERAL! FUCKS SAKE- And Literally Even The Stipper Version Of Me Would Be Of More Use Than You Lot. I Can’t Believe I’m The Most Socially Capable Person In This Fucking House.”

Red was drowned out by everyone arguing, looking more and more at his limit for bullshit. Just as he was about to start yelling someone did it for him. Papyrus let out a furious yell to make everyone quiet down. It’s not often Papyrus is angry, but this is one of them times. He’d been banned from visiting the less fortunate versions of them, told not to worry about shopping for them, told not to worry about finding better housing. Only to be told that today he was 100% right about worrying. And that they were still suffering even when they should have access to facilities to help them.

“Red. What made you bring this topic up, AGAIN, this time?” Papyrus looked down at Red, waiting for an answer.

Red on the other hand was sweating bullets at being put on the spot, now he’s going to have to admit he was kinda rude to Dash- “Dash.. I asked him why he didn’t just kill us all and he got really mad. Said he was just tired, and… he wasn’t talking about the nap kind for sure. Then I went to Flicker and Waver’s home and… Waver was having a panic attack and Flicker had to hold him down with magic to stop him from hurting himself. Not to mention Flicker is fucking blind, too- And then I went to Teddy and Leather’s place, no fucking water, Leather is still a mute and Teddy basically talks to himself all day.”

Everyone looked at him in silence. Sans was horrified- was it that bad? He hadn’t really noticed… actually he didn’t even know how many pairs of brothers there were at the moment.

“We Should Just Put Them Out Of Their Misery! One Hit And Bam, No More Issues.” Razz said, not really knowing how to be socially acceptable.

“RAZZ!?”

“bro no-“

“dude that’s fucked-“

“I Expected Better Of You.”

“They’d Probably Thank You At This Rate.”

“true ‘dat boss.”

“i’m taking you to therapy next week Razz.” Sans said, sighing.

“take me too please-“

“razz, how in the world were you ever once like my bro?”

Papyrus coughed, gaining everyone’s attention. “Okay, Firstly, I’m Inviting Pink And Haze Back To The House To Help With Therapy For Everyone Because That Was Messed Up. I Don’t Care If They Grab Your Non-Existent Ass, You All Need Serious Help. Secondly We Are Making A Roster To Help Care For ‘Them’, I’ll Figure It Out Later. Thirdly, Razz And Slim, You’ve Just Won The First Week Of Care And Companionship With The Other, Other, Brothers!”

“shit.” Slim cursed, fiddling with his lighter and looking at his brother, for help. Black flipped him off.

“No.” Razz said, straight up just fucking denying it, “I Don’t Even Like Slim. Not Happening.”

Sans glared at the two, eyelights going out. Seemed to convince them well enough as the pair shut up and shakily nodded at Papyrus. Satisfied with that, Sans looked at his brother only to see a disappointed stare… shit. “Sans…”

Sans shifted uncomfortably, looking at his feet, “I… I hadn’t noticed,” he felt his brother pat his shoulder. He could hear a rant about self care and taking a break, but he didn’t really process it fully. Instead he watched in barely masked confusion as his brother handed him his phone and turned it on. Multiple notifications rang throughout the room, multiple voicemails were banked up. Though a familiar number caused his magic to run cold.

Chapter Text

Prime Sans POV

The whole house was quiet after he announced who it was from and clicked on it, “Hello Sans. The issue my employee had contacted you over is no longer under your jurisdiction or responsibility , as a MAMRC representative has now got it handled. I recommend amending any suspicious behaviour, as you and all your housemates are under close watch. We apologise for the spam, though maybe you should learn to answer your phone. Thank you, Madame Percera, Head of MAMRC.” Her tone was flat, no life in it, not even any morbid amusement.

“Why is the MAMRC suspicious of us? We’ve done everything right.” Blue gently took the phone from a stunned Sans. Clicking on the other voice messages.

“Hello Sans. I’m calling you to discuss an issue with some data the MAMRC came in contact with surrounding your family. Please respond in a timely manner.” It was a male, very calm and maybe a bit tired.

“Hello, again. This is really serious, it’s understandable that you may not like this but not responding is just going to make things difficult.” The same person, they seemed a bit sad.

“… The joke in your automated message is kinda lame.” Ah they are annoyed.

“Okay this is just sad.” Sans winced at that, it was true.

“I’m just going to call someone else. Thank you Sans, apologies for the spam.” And that was the last one… shit they sounded much nicer than the head of the MAMRC but no less threatening.

Sans felt his hands shaking as he took a deep breath, this wasn’t good. If he wasn’t in control, who was? And who had they contacted. Shit. No one here obviously and the others moved country for a reason so that leaves… oh. The brothers in the woods didn’t trust them to care for them, someone must have taken things into their own hands…

“We are raiding the houses of the brothers in the woods, for all of our safety, including theirs. Someone has outed us.”

Y/N POV

It was interesting, taking magic samples from monsters, especially skeleton monsters. Using a special sampler, it was possible to maintain someone’s magic once it’s been ‘detached’ from them, so it wouldn’t disperse. I stood infront of the two, who were on the couch, fiddling with the small gun shaped device. It looked like one of the piercing guns, but the needle was thicker and clearly not for actually piercing things. “So ya want me to demonstrate on myself first?”

They both nodded, curious, so I did as told. Adjusting it so I could fit by wrist in the small space, I pulled the trigger and felt the needle like end press against my skin, and a small zap of green magic meant to stimulate what magic I had in my small useless human body. On my laptop showed the result, classifying the magic type as perseverance and kindness, which lead to the sub-traits of wisdom and generosity. It also showed how close I was to being a dual-magic mage. “Yeah, parents were mages, but my soul is just too fragile for me to wield it. So I just have a lot of pent up magic, which is handy if I ever get injured cause it means I’ll heal faster is someone uses green magic on me. It can also show stats but it’s not on that setting.”

I then removed a small little pellet from the gun that was now filled with a sample of my magic, handing it to Stall.

“That’s cool! Despite the usual stigma, I think Mages are cool, their magic isn’t even used for attacks! So cool!” Dash beamed at me as he held his arm out, “I’m sure if you could use magic, it’d be something amazing! Maybe something to do with plants and nighttime? If my research is right, mages with your traits usually have magic like that?”

Dash received a flustered smile and a nod for his efforts in recalling his knowledge on mages. I did the test on him, it was honestly so quick it was stupid. Saving the data from my laptop I did Stall while I wasn’t even looking. Saving his data as well. “Doneskies! I’m not analysing it today because I’d also need your health conditions and that is a long ass test, so we can do it on Thursday.” It was odd, being this nice to people. Something seemed to click when it came to these too. It’s like we were all just people, doing bad things, for the right reasons. They just seemed to get it and I understood them.

After a brief chat I announced I was going for a walk to collect some trinkets. Honestly I was really bad for this, I could spend hours in forests looking at all the cool things you could find. Naturally I wandered back to the mushroom ring I’d seen on the drive here. I pulled out my phone and took photos of the almost ethereal scene, then finally did what I’d been wanting to do for two days. I sat smack bang in the middle of the ring, pulling out my sketchbook so I could draw some of the things I saw. A butterfly was first, naturally I annotated it with all the correct scientific terms. Biologists were superb at naming things badly by the way!

Running a hand through my hair and crossing my legs, I only just noticed when the forest suddenly went quiet. Shaking it off I continued sketching, the soft scratch of my pencil on paper was spinning a calming song with the rustling leaves and the crunch of a boot, the sound of running water somewhere south- I noticed the sound of footfalls too late, I was pinned to the floor, someone’s hand forcing my head down while their other wrapped around one of my wrists.

“WHO ARE-“ The attacker didn’t get to finish as I used my free hand to throw off their balance and reverse positions so I was straddling them, grabbing both of their small wrists in one hand and glaring down at them as they squeaked in surprise. “Uhh…”

Small red star shaped eyelights looked up at me in shock. It was another skeleton, though much much smaller than me, unlike the two brothers I knew. They had a small tattered red bandana wrapped around their neck. Cracks and nicks decorated their bones, a small worried smile on their face, before it morphed into a large scowl that showed off their sharp canines. “GET OFF ME!”

It’s only one of Dash and Stall’s listed cousins, nothing to really worry about. “Hmmm, what if I don’t? You did force my face into the mushroom over there, I was drawing that.”

“FUCK YOUR MUSHROOM!” They struggled, and grew red in the face from embarrassment and anger. They were strong, but I was twice the size and had a fair amount of natural strength and muscle. Realising it was futile they slumped, not even bothering to call for help oddly, “YOU’RE A DICK!”

“Actually I’m human, you’re a funny skeleton. Shame you murdered my mushroom.” They denied my accusations very aggressively, as I watched in amusement. “Why’d you do that anyway?”

“IN CASE YOU WERE DANGEROUS!”

“Well I wouldn’t call myself dangerous. Attacking on sight is a pretty dangerous trait though, should I attack you back, huh?” I sighed at them, before hopping off and slowly letting go of their hands. They rubbed their boney wrist and scowled at the floor, I almost felt bad, but I could feel the bruises on my wrist and face, whereas they were scot free of damage.

“Razz. That’s My Name.” They still weren’t looking at me, “I Use They/Them Pronouns Only.”

“Y/N, he/him pronouns, don’t mind they/them though, thanks. Nice to meet you Razz.”

“I’m Not Sorry For Randomly Jumping You, I Was Merely Being Cautious, I Recently Got Worrying News And Was A Bit-“

“Jumpy?”

Razz scowled at me, their eyes narrowing in distaste. “Sure… That. You Do Know That This Is An Owned Property And You’re Probably Going To Have Your Ass Handed To You On A Platter If You Stay Here Without Permission. Literally.”

“Ah, I got permission. So I think I can keep my ass, Dr. mushroom killer.” I say, rolling my eyes at their angry expression as they sat in front of me.

“YOUR JAPE IS FUCKING DUMB BECAUSE MUSHROOMS HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH MEDICINE-“

“Doctorates exist.” I reply awkwardly.

Their jaw snapped shut with an audible click, “OH. Shit… Fine Then.”

“Has anyone ever told you that you’re a bit of an odd one?” I ask, fully serious. I couldn’t understand this skeleton. It seems the little morale they had was extremely confusing and they were about as good me at conversation.

“Constantly. Has Anyone Told You?” Razz snides back, a sharp grin on their face. “And Permission From Who?”

I shrug, “no one really talks to me long enough to to tell me.” Razz sighs, mumbling that he wished he could relate. Something about cook-offs and lazy siblings. “And why should I tell you?”

Razz made an offended noise at my questioning of authority, before thinking for a second. “Actually Good Point. I Don’t Own The Property. I Was Just About To Punch You For Saying That.”

Yeah. Glad they actually thought about that for a second. Now that Razz was more calm and I wasn’t panicking about getting attacked, we both took the time to observe each other’s appearance. With little shame we both looked each other up and down, nice to know I’m not the only socially inept person here. Razz was about my shoulder height, and I’m already short so I kinda felt bad for them. Expensive red leather gloves matched their slightly ripped red bandana. They matched their accessories with tight ripped denim jeans and a faded black shirt which had a flame design bleached onto it. Red eyelights lingered on my shoes, leading me to notice we are wearing the same red combat boots.

“You’re Wearing Sweatpants With My Shoes?” Razz pouted.

“Yeah, red and red matches-“ “Not With Fucking Sweatpants. Weirdo.”

I shrug, picking my book and pencil back up. Looking over at the skeleton who was still glaring at me. “I did try to get permission from the property owner Sans.” Razz perked up, “But he didn’t answer his phone, so I settled with calling the people I actually needed to talk too.”

“You- YOU WORK FOR THE MAMRC!” Razz jumped to their feet and pointed at me accusingly, finally recognising my voice.

“Yeah. I’m guessing Sans only got the calls just now?”

“Yes- I- WHAT THE FUCK?” Razz’s eyelights were shining particularly brightly as they looked at me with a confused and angry expression, though I did notice the slight awe. This… this is what I had expected from Dash and Stall. Minus the awe- of course.

Standing up I brush myself off, “Do you want me to come with you to talk to Sans?”

“STOP HELPING ME TAKE YOU PRISONER!” Razz shouts at me as they angrily grab my hand, “DON’T THINK ABOUT ESCAPING AND SAVE YOUR EXPLANATION TILL WE ARRIVE. I’M CALLING MY BROTHER.”

I let myself be leaded through the forest, this was unavoidable after all. It’s been a while since someone who wasn’t my son held my hand. I know it’s the wrong situation, but still, the contact was nice. With my free hand I call Stall to let him know what happened, while Razz calls Slim (if I remember correctly from his file). After the very stressful call and trying to assure Stall that this is okay and I’ll resolve any negative emotions towards them, I take the time to plan my approach to the situation. Figuring that the emotional side won’t work and the cold hard facts would merely scare them, I settle for a mix, worked pretty well with Stall and Dash anyway.

Our hurried footsteps soon slowed as I saw a large backyard in the distance, behind it was a three story mansion, large glass sliding doors and balconies with French doors gave it a very open house plan appearance. I could hear the panicked conversations from here. Razz gripped my hand in a vice grip, “I Actually Hate You For Forcing Me To Be In A Room With All These Idiots.”

“Don’t worry, I hate me too.”

Chapter Text

Y/N POV

Razz opened the door, barely giving you anytime to slip inside yourself. The shuddering sigh of the door rolling shut seemed to make the commotion inside quiet down. Suddenly I was hit with a wave of self-consciousness, as I straightened my black tank top and red sweatpants. I followed my impromptu guide to what appeared to be the main room of the open planned mansion. It was a large living room with an assortment of couches, beanbags and even a small PC gaming set off to the side.

It was unsettling, how different these people lived to Dash and Stall. Scowling I realise they probably didn’t let them stay here with them, due to their quiet… beaten appearances. Even Razz couldn’t compare to how damaged Dash’s bones were, or Stalls mangled legs. With an irritated huff I walk into the main room, they were giving me looks that ranged from scared to outright murderous. I would say fair enough, but honestly, I was here to help some people who obviously needed it. Despite hating my job and this whole fucked situation, I would probably have done it willingly anyway after I saw just how bleak these circumstances seemed for Dash and Stall.

“Hello, I’m Y/N L/N, I work for the MAMRC. I’m here to do legal and research business ordered by both the government and your royals.” I gave a sharp glare to who I recognised as Sans, who didn’t pick up his goddamn phone, as he tried to interrupt me, “Please let me finish Mr. Serif. I’m here on some very worrying circumstances and you all are currently under investigation by my boss. Which would probably make me move countries, personally. But, do you even know why this is happening?”

A small skeleton with large blue eyelights spoke before anyone else could. Their baby blue bandana and perfectly ironed graphic T-shirt made it all to easy to recognise them and Blue, relative of Stretch- Fuck these names are actually so bad- “Uhm. No We Don’t Actually. Can You Explain Please- Slim Shut The Fuck Up I’m Trying To Resolve This Without The Law Enforcement Having To Arrest You For Bodily Harm.”

Stretch looked extra horrified, now that his brother swore, elbowing Slim in the ribs for being the cause. Everyone looked at me expectantly. “You know your cousins, Dash and Slim?”

“THEM MOTHERFUCKERS! IT WAS THEM!” Razz smacked their head into the wall in an effort to restrain their absolute rage. I wasn’t exactly sure what caused it, but it was enough for me to know that their was obviously going to be a backlash for the two if I didn’t:t explain the situation.

I narrowed my glare and sat down on one of the two seater couches,“Yes it was them. And rightfully so. You all should be utterly ashamed and humiliated that not only do humans know how you have treated them, but also your own King and Queen are aware. Sit down, because this will be a long conversation.” Razz groaned in frustration and angrily sat right next to me, which was confusing and slightly worrying. I’ve attracted a weirdo- which I have every right to call them because they called me a weirdo too! A tall skeleton with a fur trimmed hood and cigarette seemed to think the same thing as he sat on the floor infront of Razz and gave me a questioning stare.

“Stall and Dash got registered extremely late, meaning they obviously were kept out of public for at least three or so years. Which is extremely worrying because all monsters were out of the underground after one year. Next we know I’ll be finding other unregistered monsters wandering around here.” I didn’t miss the terrified look Sans gave me, something to note for a later dinner conversation. “Now they got registered at the Hospital. Because they were both getting treated there. The uh, following information will be extremely upsetting for the average person who cares about their relative, by the way.” I said with a pointed look that signified they weren’t one of those average people.

“Are They Okay Now Though?” An extremely intimidating skeleton asked, his black suit with purple and grey accents was ironed to perfection as he seemed to mull over what might come out my mouth next.

“Eh, sorta. Dash was admitted for self harm. Diagnosed with the following symptoms while there: Body Dysphoria, multiple eating disorders, imposter syndrome, depression, ADHD and insomnia. Prescribed multiple magical medicines I cannot even name. They attend virtual therapy together as well. Stall was diagnosed with: Severe anxiety, social anxiety, insomnia, chronic pains. Prescribed no medicine for anxiety and chronic pain can’t be treated with medicine.” Everyone looked at me with slightly shocked faces, “When questioned why they were feeling this way, the therapist had the provided that the two confessed that they were verbally harassed and critiqued harshly by ‘important figures in their life’, which worsened already bad symptoms of PTSD, thus causing the development of these extra issues. I.. they don’t leave this forest, so I know it’s people in this room who’ve done this.”

I looked up from the floor, to assess reactions when I saw Sans himself, asleep. Through probably the most important conversation in his whole sad life. It was alarming, two seconds ago he was terrified, now he was asleep standing!

“I- Is he okay? Like seriously. I’m already upset but this is just making me concerned.” Everyone tenses as you stride up to Sans and poke him, then pull out the device you used on Dash and Stall earlier and went ahead and checked the idiot wasn’t dying. “Why is his magic so low?”

“HIS MAGIC IS LOW BECAUSE HES TOO BUSY IN THE BASEMENT ALL THE TIME!” Razz provided, getting mutters of agreements. I watched as a tall and friendly skeleton frowned and picked Sans up.

I must have been pulling one of my classic resting bitch faces merged with annoyance. Because everyone was looking at me with equally upset expressions. “I... Fucking hell. You guys are worse than I thought.” I knew it was too good to be true, two monsters who I got along with! Here is the social torture I was expecting.

“That’s Mean!” Blue retorts, looking offended as Stretch scowled at your for upsetting them.

“Thanks for letting me know I’m having the wanted affect.” I snap back, a mix of concern and annoyance twisting in my gut, causing me to be more irritable than usual. “You guys are lucky I don’t just call the authorities on you all.”

“Actually, I Am An Authority. I’m A Detective.” Suit skeleton piped up again, Black I believe.

“That makes this situation so much worse for you all.” I hiss through your teeth as I wipe a hand down my face. A few of the skeletons chuckle, but I could almost sense their anxiousness.

“YEAH WELL YOU DON’T HAVE SHIT ALL CONTROL OVER US!” Razz says, clearly pissed off at my authority over them.

“Yes I fucking do. And I will until I leave this place. I can just get my boss to do this instead and you’ll see how much disrespect you can get away with. I’m being lenient, just because I have no magic doesn’t mean you can try to intimidate or threaten me away from protecting those who need and deserve protecting.” I’m not backing down at all. And that seemed to really piss them off, collectively. Seems they really weren’t used to being told what to do, hah, they wouldn’t survive with your boss here that’s for sure. And they must know that too because the group shut up and diverted their gazes.

“yer a right asshole.” Piped up someone I vaguely recall being Mutt, Razz’s brother.

“Yeah because what you guys are doing to your own cousins doesn’t make you an asshole. You’re a bunch of soulless cowards.” I roll my dull eyes at the fuming and hurt expressions at my comment, “Seriously though, is Sans okay?”

The responses carried from ‘He’s never fine’ to ‘this is normal’, which didn’t help your concern at all. At least he’s not dying.

“Well it’s not my problem at least. By this afternoon I’ll have emailed you documents and whatnot due to the fact you probably don’t want to listen to me talk for two hours. Thanks, but also not thanks. I will take my leave.”

Ignoring the sputtering of Blue and Papyrus as I walk away and the childish middle finger being directed towards you by Slim, I exit onto the back porch again. Shit uh, how do I get outta here? As I brainstormed ideas I could hear some loud arguing and crying from inside the house. Sure it made me feel a little bad but they deserved it really. If they thought their actions and words towards others wouldn’t cause karma to come for their asses (or lack thereof) then they were living in a fake little fantasy.

Honestly most of this was a fake fantasy. They can’t handle the reality that monsterkind isn’t perfect, unlike what they were taught in schools. Similarly humans had the opposite problem. So when given evidence they can’t avoid or ignore, everything falls into shit. If the general public knew the things you did, there would be outright war between everyone. The amount of pain, hurt, blood, sweat and tears that fuels the MAMRC was often conspired about, but even then it didn’t amount to what actually happened.

Moving on from these depressing thoughts I pull out my phone and call Dash. “Hey.. I don’t really know how to get back to your house.” After getting confirmation that Dash was coming to get me, I sat down on one of the many seats in the porch. Dash and Stall were honestly lovely, they didn’t trigger a single one of my usual social defences. Humming softly, I ignore when someone sat on the seat next to me, choosing to instead enjoy the sunset. It really took that long to half figure this stuff out. Truthfully it was mainly me being mad at them for not having any common decency and empathy but it’s a start. God I hate people and I hate my boss. While I’m at it I also hate the teenager who called me an old man a few weeks ago, fuck that kid, I’m not that old.

“I Am Kind Of Glad You Came Here. I Don’t Think Anything Me Or My Brother Could Have Said Would Have Convinced The Lodge To Be More Considerate Towards Dash And Stall.” It was Edge sitting next to you, who was surprisingly handsome in the colourful lighting, despite the furious scowl he wore. He was most likely avoiding the crying and arguing skeletons inside, good call.

I smiled a little, glad their was at least one sane person, “Congrats, you’ve met the bard minimum of giving a shit.” I clapped slowly and gave Edge a pointed look.

Scoffing Edge replied, “I Know Right! I’m Meant To Be Scary And Evil Yet I Am Much Nicer Than Them All. It’s Disgusting, I Must Work On Committing Acts Of Evil More Often.”

I chuckled slightly, rubbing my arms in an attempt to keep warm in the chilly afternoon air. “I also need to work on committing more evil acts, y’know, being an evil government scientist and all-“

Edge gave a surprised sputter before covering his mouth in order to muffle his laugh. Clearing his throat (???), he turned to me suddenly serious. “By The Way... There Are Four More Sets Of Brothers Out In The Forest In The Same Condition As Dash And Stall. And One Pair That Are Utterly Deranged And Crippled. But I Didn’t Tell You That.”

“THERE ARE HOW FUCKING MANY!?”

Dash’s POV

Dash was about halfway to the Lodge when he heard Y/N’s shout of dismay, seems someone else did as well because Teddy was now right next to him, the giant hole in his head flaking off a little dust from his use of teleportation magic. It was similar to Mars’s injury, except it also connected to an eye socket. Which was freaky to see the eyelight move around in the giant cavity to say the least. What really set Teddy apart from the other Sanses was how absolutely massive he was, the size difference made poor Dash feel small. Not to mention he had layers of spiky teeth instead of the one set like Red had. It was similar to the teeth of a shark, which was his rejected name. He got Teddy because secretly (or not so secretly) he was just a big softie.

“Yer lil human okay?” Dash really liked Teddy, they made his brother laugh, even if their jokes were extremely in-appropriate, the giant skeleton was surprisingly a sweetheart towards all the alternates.

“I think it’s more the Spoiled versions of us we need to worry about! Wanna come pick them up with me? Stall couldn’t come because his legs really hurt today.” He asks, not exactly keen to go there alone. It was always worse when you went alone, the insults were less general and more targeted.

“Sssssure. I’ll let Paps know lil buddy.” Teddy teleported away before coming back and grabbing Dash’s shoulder. Dash absolutely hated teleportation but it was better to show up together.

“OH MY GOSH, NO!”

And there you were in your sweatpant glory, pointing a finger at Edge, who was nodding at you while Red and Razz watched from the backdoor.

“YES, I’M NOT LYING!” Edge seemed to retort as you then proceeded to facepalm so hard a slap sound slightly echoed through the forest. “ITS ATROCIOUS I KNOW.”

Edge then noticed Dash and his tag-along Teddy. Teddy was already wandering his way through the yard towards Edge, or maybe Red. He often liked to chat to them, no one else really wanted to listen to his slightly hysteric ranting about his most recent hyperfixation. Oh wow looks like Red will be hearing alot about owls today, cause Teddy was already chatting away to the sweating and slightly intimidated Red, not even caring about his slight slurring of words.

“Y/N! Sorry I’m a tad late Teddy wanted to meet you, is everything okay here?” Dash asked, assessing your upset expression and Edge’s equally upset one. Though neither of you seemed angry at each other. Dash didn’t hate Edge, but he didn’t quite like him. It was a mural respect and understanding of being desperate. Edge and Red were very close to becoming Teddy and Leather when they were in their own universe. Mars and Jupiter mentioned the two edgy brothers were on rations and running out of magic supplies like monster candy. While they still had their King, it was only a matter of time before everything went downhill for them. They were lucky, to be brought here in time to avoid that.

“It’s okay Dash. I’m done here so I guess we’ll walk home,” You were looking at Teddy, clearly in shock of how tiny you were compared to him, Teddy was still talking about owls, Red asking a few questions here and there to keep the big guy on a roll.

Dash grabbed Teddy and you by the wrist, shouting goodbyes to Red, Edge and a scowling Razz who only said goodbye to Y/N like the stubborn bastard they were. As soon as Dash had moved you all out of sight he began fretting over you. “They didn’t hurt you anywhere? They are so racist they probably would hit you. Was Edge being nice?”

Teddy watched quietly as Dash gave you a full check over, with you responding everytime that you were fine and that the only thing that got hurt was their egos.

“You never said the human was not lil, but tiny.” Teddy put his hand next to your head, they were almost the same size. His eyelights then focused on you, “ello sweetheart, you’re looking cute 'n delectable, can I get yer number?”

Dash giggled at your sputtering as you took Teddy’s phone and entered your number. You won’t survive, he realises, once you meet the rest of the more flirtatious brothers.

Once the flirting was over, Dash and the gang were on their way again, heading towards Dash and Stall’s house. It was calming, listening to Teddy and you talk about owls, Dash adding in his two cents every now and then.

“Barn owls are pretty handy! They eat all the mice you don’t want in your animal feed.”

“Any owl is a good owl. Itsssss just how it is. Did you know in Australia they have only 11 owl species? They even called one Sssouthern Boobook.”

“Boobook.” You repeat, “Better than Blue Boobies.”

“Ehehehe, boobies.” Dash slaps Teddy on the arm for the childish remark. Only for you to burst out laughing. With a sigh he opened the door to his house and let you two laughing idiots inside.

Stall had been waiting on the couch, looking just as nervous as when Dash had left him. Once he realised everything and everyone was okay he calmed down a bit and greeted you all.

“ey Teddy, what are you guys laughing about?”

Dash sighed and answered for you both, “Boobies.”

The whole room bursted into laughter.

Chapter Text

Characters (To be updated!): Well obviously two of the most influential characters!

Y/N: Height of 5’6, physical strength 7/10

Madame Percera: Height of 5’5, physical strength 8/10

In the Lodge: MAIN CHARACTERS

Undertale:

Sans (Prime): Height of 5’8, physical strength 5/10

Papyrus (Paps or Pip): Height of 6’0, Physical strength 8/10

Underfell:

Sans (Red): Height of 5’10, physical strength 8/10

Papyrus (Edge): Height of 6’2, Physical strength 10/10

Underswap:

Sans (Blue): Height of 5’5, physical strength 6/10

Papyrus (Stretch): Height of 6’1, Physical strength 5/10

Swapfell:

Sans (Black): Height of 5’6, physical strength 9/10

Papyrus (Slim): Height of 6’3, Physical strength 7/10

Fellswap:

Sans (Razz): Height of 5’2, physical strength 4/10 (However has the best reaction time, speed, agility and magic control out of everyone in the household.)

Papyrus (Mutt): Height of 6’0, Physical strength 8/10

In the woods: MAIN CHARACTERS

Horrorswap:

Sans (Dash): Height of 6’0, physical strength 10/10

Papyrus (Stall): Height of 6’5, Physical strength 3/10 (He’s still extremely sick)

Horrortale:

Sans (Mars): Height of 6’1, physical strength 10/10

Papyrus (Jupiter): Height of 6’7, Physical strength 7/10

Horrorfell: (Least likely to attack, despite strength)

Sans (Teddy): Height of 6’8, physical strength 10/10

Papyrus (Leather): Height of 6’10, Physical strength 10/10

Horrorswapfell:

Sans (Spike): Height of 5’5, physical strength 10/10

Papyrus (Barb): Height of 6’7 Physical strength 8/10

Horrorfellswap: (Still recovering)

Sans (Waver): Height of 5’8, physical strength 5/10

Papyrus (Flicker): Height of 6’5, Physical strength 8/10

And a SURPRISE AU, HAHA:

Sans (???): Height of 5’8, physical strength 11/10

Papyrus (???): Height of 5’10, Physical strength 2/10

In the city: Do note these characters will probably only get any showtime for specials, OR if you guys send me enough messages to include them in the main plot.

Dancetale:

Sans (Hop): Height of 5’8, physical strength 7/10

Papyrus (Tango): Height of 6’0, Physical strength 10/10

Underlust: (Main characters!)

Sans (Haze): Height of 5’8, physical strength 5/10

Papyrus (Pink): Height of 6’0, Physical strength 8/10

Mobtale:

Sans (Guns): Height of 5’8, physical strength 9/10

Papyrus (Lucky): Height of 6’0, Physical strength 10/10

G!sans and G!Papyrus:

Sans (G): Height of 6’1, physical strength 6/10

Papyrus (Green): Height of 6’2, Physical strength 6/10

Fucked off to Australia because fuck Prime Sans and the American healthcare system: Same as the City-dwellers! Comment if you want them to actually be main characters, if majority wins then I will add them. For now they’ll be in special chapters and side plots.

Killer!Sans: Height of 5’8, physical strength 9/10 (He got lazy)

Dustswap!Sans (Due to Dusttale’s creator not wanting anymore content made of their character, I’ve respectively giver Killer a new friend. While it’s a ‘Dust’ AU, Dustswap’s storyline is completely different.)

Height of 5’5, physical strength 6-9/10 (impacted by mood)

Lustfell:

Sans (Tone): Height of 5’7, physical strength 9/10

Papyrus (Pitch): Height of 6’2, Physical strength 10/10

Lustswap:

Sans (Azure): Height of 5’5, physical strength 7/10

Papyrus (Amber): Height of 6’1, Physical strength 6/10

Chapter Text

The sun was nice, it rolled over my skin in waves and lessened the intense throbbing in my head. I was tired, more than tired actually. This whole weekend I was either spending time with Mark for his birthday or working on things for the skeleton's issues.

Running a hand through my slightly messy hair, I tried my best to not look like I had pulled two all-nighters in a row as I walked Mark through the park and to his first playdate in years. It was cute, to watch his bright smile widen and his eyes sparkle as he viewed the world with such wonder that only a child could have.

Though it didn't stop the nagging feeling that you were forcing Mark to grow up too fast, being out of the house for work and well, he didn't really have many friends his age either. Which was why this was so important that I turned up on time, didn't fuck up saying a simple hello and goodbye, then got the fuck out of there as to not ruin my son's chances.

Mark ran to my side and bumped into me, trying to get my attention, "Can I have money for a Nice-cream?" Curse you child, taking advantage of my sleep and pain addled mind to rob me of five dollars or two gold.

"Yeah Yeah, okay." I dwardled behind as Mark ran over to a blue rabbit monster and began asking what flavours they had. "Ay there, whatever the kiddo wants and… that one please."

"Sure thing! That's ten dollars or four gold thanks!" I gave him the ten dollars, with a large tip of gold. With that I was rewarded with a beaming buck-tooth smile, an evil-sounding laugh from my hellspawn of a son and two icecreams."Have a nice day!"

And then our stroll continued, as I ate my icecream of favour, I took in the beautiful scenery. Echo flowers mixed with bluebells and snapdragons with roses, it was like the park was unaffected by the chilly winter that had forced me to wear more thick clothing.

It was a simple purple turtleneck, black leather pants with leggings underneath for extra warmth, doc Martin's and a beige sheep wool jumper. I would like to say despite feeling like shit, I looked pretty damn good.

As I finished my ice-cream, I looked down at my paddle pop stick with a confused expression, 'You will reap what you will sow' is definitely not a compliment or a joke.

"Haha! Dad! The icecream said I have a cute laugh!" I recall my son's evil laugh from before and snort at what the icecream believes is cute, "What did yours say?"

On the spot I just made something up, knowing my son he'd look too far into what the quote means, "Ice to meet you!" I was given a small giggle in return, yeah, let's not ruin his special day.

It was a brief exchange of greeting and names when I met Mark's friend's mother. And well, there were three reasons for that. Reason one, I was planning on doing some essential shopping and needed to go. Reason two- It was Queen Toriel and I all but sprinted away like a coward from her. And three, members of the MAMRC are forbidden unmonitored contact with the Royals due to fear that it would be leaked to them the unjust and inhumane experiments conducted on artificial monster souls as well as the unfair trials of mages.

I hope she didn't recognise me, or my name or even the amount of stress the joint agreement with my boss she made had caused me. But I still felt like my opinion of her was forever soiled even though I knew she was a lovely lady, an amazing queen and an even better mother to the ambassador of monsters. Who was Frisk and also Mark's friend that he never warned me about. Back to the point, I shouldn't be here and she scared me, so a handshake and run it was.

After my grand escape and leaving the park, I wandered downtown and pulled out one of my two lists. Shopping was relaxing, something about buying things made me feel calm, which was why I have the most extensive range of clothing known to mankind at home. A whole second office was converted to a closet. It wasn't like I was flexing my money or straining my wallet to get some nice things for myself every now and then, I was paid accordingly for the amount of bullshit I got put through last week.

I needed food, monster food specifically because it's better for monsters and mages to eat that, which was most of the people I was going to feed. Sea tea, Muffet's pastries, MTT brand cereals and any other basics I could find.

The other list was not as pleasant, it was a list of what I needed to do with my skeleton situation.

1) Meet everyone living in woods
2) One pair at a time, check magic levels and then take to hospital for treatment if needed
3) Check living situations
4) Food. For everyone.
5) Medicines
6) Therapy (for the Lodge too)
7) Reach out to 'other' skeletons to check living situation and get them registered
8) Renovate houses? Help pay for new houses?
9) Get Sans to a healthy HP amount so he won't KO from one punch.
10) Punch Sans in the dick.
11) Take Edge to fancy restaurant because it must be hard being the only sane person.
12) Apologise for punching Sans.
13) Learn where all the skeletons are coming from and why they look so similar and are all related.
14) Fix whatever is going on with the skeletal reproduction spike (???)
15)W rite report
16) Write behaviour report
17) Leave (?)

It was foolproof if you asked me, though I made it so I might be a tad biased. Mark would agree though! Shoving the lists back into my pocket, I made my way into the plaza and bee-lined for the monster produce store. What to buy, what to buy… wait I had a list- Oh my god is that pink glittery pasta.

List long forgotten, I allow myself to wander into the pasta and rice section. I take in how diverse the brands are, as well as some rip-offs of well known human brands. I should have known better than to go shopping half asleep, running off of pure spite and caffeine to the point I wonder if I'm a coffee mage (I want to be a coffee mage).

Humming a bit, I tune out the world around me as I grab the glittery pasta and some normal spaghetti. I also head to the rice and pick out some jasmine and basmati rice. I didn't even notice the eyelights boring into me until I heard someone say something. Whipping my head up from where I was appreciating some rice that was literally glowing, I had to then look up some more to meet the eyes of… Papyrus? He looked a tad different, his clothes seemed more mature than I expected him to wear, a white dress shirt and black dress pants with leather shoes.

"Hello Human Superior! I Noticed You Picked Up The MTT Brand Spaghetti And I'm Recommending You Put It Back, As That Is Literal Craft Glitter." It was odd, to see a skeleton blink, imagine if humans and mages had bone-lids, how weird would that be.

I blinked up at him, hearing what he is saying but not reallllly listening, "I'm so sorry, but what?"

Papyrus looked more nervous, at having to prolong conversation with me, "That Glitter Pasta Will Make Your Insides Outsides- Please Do Not Die From Pasta And Put It Back-"

"OH! Shit! Really? Thank you Papyrus!" I hastily put it back and then turned to smile at him again, "Thanks, now I will be off-"

"WAIT!" Ah he was at full volume again. "I Would Like To Help You Shop?"

You weren't sure, shifting on your feet at you tried to decide whether to accept or decline. Eventually you decided that you weren't awake enough for this bullshit, not that Papyrus (?) had done anything other that help you.

"I'm sorry but I have a list, we can talk on Tuesday, when I get paid for whatever issue you present me with. Have a nice Sunday!" And with that I ducked out of the isle with the haste of every introvert ever. I ignored the protests and wove inbetween shoppers in my efforts to escape.

It was a world record trip after that, as I dodged the tall skeleton who seemed to be sticking around in hopes of bumping into me again. My soul's kindness called me an asshole but perseverance said I must stick to the plan. I didn't really want to talk to Papyrus, he seemed too kind for the stuff he was letting his family get away with.

And off I went, three bags of groceries were put walked back to my ute, as I hazardly threw them in the back, grin tight as something just felt off. And wrong. Like something bad was going to happen.

A chill raced down my spine and I spun around, swearing I saw a flicker of grey in the alley tucked between a cafe and library. Slowly I locked my car and walked towards the alley, my hand trailing along the sleek metal of my car as my expression faltered. Definitely something there.

I jumped, startled and tripped over my own foot. With a groan of pain from landing on my ass I quickly snap back to attention, grabbing my phone that had scared the hell out of me. Pressing the green button to answer the call I held it to my ear, eyes not leaving the alley, as I noticed how suddenly empty the streets were.

"Y/N. Hello dear, I require you to my office. Now." With that Percera hung up, leaving me to curse as I sat on the cold concrete.

"Fuck, shit-" With suddenly weak legs I pull myself off the floor and all but jump into the car after unlocking it. Slamming the door so hard it made my ears ring, I started driving before I had even properly gotten my seatbelt on. Sweat beaded my forehead as I mulled over the many reasons this could be for.

The research centre was really large, on the front side of the famous mountain at its base, overlooking the city as if it ran it. And it did really, which was why you just couldn't catch a break. Why you couldn't just run away from your job. Why Mark was always unsafe and you were constantly worrying. If you had a problem, MAMRC was most likely the reason. If you didn't have a problem, it was merely pure luck they hadn't pried into that part of you life yet.

I pulled a crooked park and ran inside, the fact iceceam was probably melting long forgotten as I dashed through the disgustingly bland hallways and to the large black wooden doors that were promising me pain. Whether or not I entered.

After a few firm and panicked knocks the doors swung open slowly to confirm my worst fear, there was more than one person in the room. Feeling dread creep in I made my way inside, struggling to stop my joints from locking up like the doors behind me.

"Y/N dear, come here. No need to be scared." It was a lie, the fake sugary tone only made panic rise, she was pretending to not be losing her shit right now. Percera was always mad at something, for her to be faking happiness meant I did something wrong. Very wrong.

I nodded jerkily and stood before the slightly shorter woman, Percera only hummed, lifting a hand to smooth out a wrinkle on my turtleneck that only caused rabid fear to eat away at my mind. Wondering what I could have done wrong, what I could've not done to prevent this.

It's really not my fault, but this has happened so many times it's all but instilled in my mind that I am at fault.

"Y/N, I just hopped off the phone, I had two phonecalls. A lovely one from Toriel, who was sooo delighted to see one of my best scientist enjoying the sun, thanking me for being generous enough to give you time off." The way she emphasised the fact I was hers and she was doing me a favour only hurt, making me flinch as she slid her hands invasively up my chest to rest on my shoulders as she leveled me with an unreadable look. "You aren't allowed to talk to a n y o n e with political power. And most certainly not the Queen of monsters."

"I- I didn't know. It won't-" Nails digging into my shoulders made my words die, as the other two burly men in the room all but revelled in seeing me suffer. I hoped that it didn't break skin, I loved this sweater to death.

"And the other phonecall, well it was one I intercepted between two people that've been on my radar for a while. A mafia group if you wish to label the organisation. They mentioned you excessively. What did you do?" Her grip tightens, much like my throat at the meaning of her words.

"What-" Parcera shakes me a bit, "Did. You. Do?"

"I- I don't know-" I admit, already knowing what was coming and not to try and stall by talking. "I wouldn't know, I dropped my guard recently."

Percera let go of me, but no sooner was I freed I felt a hand on each of the 'security guards' on my forearms, another gripping my hair and holding me in place lest I try to throw my head back at one of them. It felt wrong and invasive, nothing like the reassuring hold of Mark on my arm or a pat to the head from a friend. It was unwanted and bled an intent as black as night.

Swallowing, I tried to not have a panic attack before anything even happened. It'll be fine. This will end soon. I can go pick up Mark and go home afterwards and he'll be safe and happy from meeting Toriel and playing with the Ambassador.

I let these soothing thoughts smother the panic as I saw Percera pull out a small vial of red-orange liquid that looked like the sun itself. "I took this from a determination and justice mage, they could make their hands catch alight and control the movement of fire, I deemed them too dangerous and every now and then I got to their cell to get another vial of this. They'd been here for years so I have a ton left over when they finally died." I looked away as she filled up a needle and slowly put the scarlet liquid in her bloodstream.

Her hand suddenly lit aflame as she returned to her spot in front of me. "Toriel herself has fire magic. I bet she would have done this to you herself if she found out what you have done. Do try not to bleed and cry everywhere, the carpet is white this month." And then someone pulled my shirt up and I was burning.

I didn't know what the sound was till I noticed my mouth open as I screamed, trying to move away from the hand that invaded my space and caused my skin to feel as if it was wax, dripping between Percera's fingers. I held in my bile as my vision began to swim.

Stop, stop. Please just leave me alone. Stop stop stopstopstoppleasestopstopstop

And then everything was green, and I could feel the fire go away and the skin pull itself together again, all that was left was a small upset red mark. Percera was the best mage I knew, with a natural dull green soul and that's why she scared me so.

It was healed, my HP restored. But it kept feeling like it was burning, a downside of being healed by such a powerful mage, she could decide whether she wanted to heal the pain as well. I couldn't help the tears as my middle stitched back together, the tears dropped helplessly onto the carpet mixing with the blood and dead melted skin that couldn't get healed back on. I couldn't move without invoking more pain in my raw skin or without one of the three stronger people present putting me back in my place.

I was smothered as my shirt was put back down and I was let go to fall on my knees and shuffle back and away from the three smiling faces. Percera stepped over the stain of my blood and crouched beside me, her black hair framed her face as she made sure her tight black skirt didn't ride up from the action. "Why are you crying Y/N? Nothing even happened, look at you, you're perfectly fine."

I flinched as my boss patted my head, it felt like it burned too, from how much I loathed her. "Men don't cry, c'mon dear." She wiped my tears and pulled me off the floor, which I didn't bother resisting as she pushed me out of the room.

"Don't talk to Toriel again. And grow a pair and destroy that mafia, you have the brains to do so. This will be unpaid, but if you fail, your son Mark will be visiting me for a little one on one." And the door was slammed shut behind me as I swayed from the pain, wheezing and resisting the urge to claw at my chest and stomach.

It was probably more my broken pride and humiliation that doubled the pain than me moving as I blinked away the remains of pained and frustrated tears. Awkwardly walking in a way that hurt less, I made my way through the empty hallways.

It wasn't fair. I still couldn't do anything. Mark was still in danger. I was a failure and a shitty parent. Self-loathing thoughts for later, I was left to figure out how to get in the front seat, eventually I pulled out my slim leather wallet and put it between my teeth. Muffled sob must have been heard from the reception desk as I forced my middle to bend as I sat on the usually comforting seat of my car, the leather stopping me from grinding my teeth on pain.

Once seated I gripped the steering wheel for life as I fought against the black corners of my vision. Not yet. I had to pick up Mark, get home and.. I needed to get away, I wanted to run away, like a coward. So being hurt myself and my family being threatened is the turning point and not the wrongful imprisonment of thousands and death of even more unborn souls. My morals were selfish and screwed, I deserved to lose so much, but I also had a goal.

I put my wallet on the dashboard and headed for the park, pushing past the speed limit every now and then so I could get home and pass out in a safe place that won't endanger the life of other people. I stopped crying and my breathing slowed, so when I pulled up on the path and called Mark on his phone I should have looked perfectly fine.

"Hey dad, you're a little late but… Dad-" Mark was looking down at my leather pants, eyes glistening in an emotion I shouldn't be putting on a child's face, "Why is there blood on your pants?" He all but whispered at me, he already knew why, having heard me cry my heart out so many times because of the reason why. He continued to hop in the passenger seat.

"I'm so sorry Mark. Let's get home okay buddy. If I… if I fall asleep make sure to wake me up, so I can keep driving the car." I couldn't help the crack in my voice as I grabbed my kids hand and then left the park. He held on the whole trip, whenever my eyes dropped he'd suddenly make a comment about his day or something he saw on the road as we drove home.

Pulling into a park on the street I began to psych myself up as I got ready to hop out of the seat, leather wallet in my mouth I popped open the door and slid out with a pained hiss. After leaning on my car for however long it took for my vision to clear, I shut the door and went to grab the groceries only to see Mark with them and waiting. "Thanks kiddo, how… how about we use the elevator today."

Mark nodded, grabbing my hand and carrying the groceries in his other as he helped me navigate the front steps of the apartment complex, and then into the elevator, which caused my stomach to flip and acids to rise as it began its accent. "Almost home, what do you want for dinner dad?"

"I don't think I can eat, how about you have a lazy day and eat whatever you want, dessert or anything, it's your birthday… I'm sorry I can't cook.." I wanted to hug him, pull him close and promise to never let anyone treat me like that again. But I couldn't, not because pain was stopping me, but because I wasn't a liar.

"Yeah! Cookies and chocolate for dinner!" He let out his usual evil laughter, that I caught him practicing in the mirror sometimes, even if it was a bit strained. By the end of the elevator ride we were smiling a bit more. It was an easy, un-interrupted walk to the red front door of your apartment. Quickly unlocking it I let Mark go ahead, leaning down despite the burning and ripping feeling in my front to give him a kiss on the head and a brief hug, promising to make up for the sour ending of his special day at least. That was something I could promise.

I watched him retreat to the kitchen before I stumbled up the stairs and into my room. Then to the attached bathroom where I promptly collapsed at the toilet and emptied my stomach of my lunch and blood. Shit she burned through more than expected if there was blood still. I wish the fat she burned had stayed gone. The morbid joke got a bout of almost hysterical laughter from me before I was bent over the toilet again, the movement only making the reflux more severe.

I then took this good position to peel off my left shoe and sock, sighing with relief when a small device fell out. It was one of my own making, a side project of sorts. It recorded sound and magic levels. Most of my clothing has the small button sized device sewn into the hem, able to start recording remotely with a mere double click to the actual button part of it and then turned off with a third.

Since I was sixteen, I had been using these devices as emergency buttons when I thought I was in danger and then at twenty I was suddenly using it to gather collateral because people were dying under the government's watch. And then to record my own punishments from my sicko boss.

And then I was given this shitty ass job with hopeless, unfortunate skeletons. And I couldn't turn away because they were being hurt, they already were. It was easier, when it was just souls that let off distressed magic signals, not when they had faces and bright smiles. When they could actually cry. I couldn't stand by and let that happen, so I'd do this one last job. It wouldn't take too long, just one more year.

One more year and I could go talk to Toriel and her husband Asgore properly.

One more year and no one would hurt me like that.

One more year and those souls used for experiments would be given bodies.

One more year and mages who'd been locked in a padded cell could see the sun again.

One more year and I could run away from it all.

One more year and Mark wouldn't have to be in danger or see me so stressed.

I could be a better dad and a better person.

So I dragged myself to bed, muffling sobs of pain and a mix of dizzying emotions. The sheets were soft and the bed plush, but it didn't stop any of the discomfort. I must have silently cried myself to sleep, because I really wasn't sure if I could make it through this one year with the sudden change of circumstances.

Chapter Text

Hey guys! I just wanted to let you know I have a NEW Tumblr! This is where I can see any art you guys make!

I'm quite new to Tumblr so I'm sticking to the basics, I will admit I'm struggling with the formatting because well- I dunno I just am.

So if you search my username 'ripoffred' in Tumblr you should find my account, where I've already posted and re-blogged a few things. Including an amazing fanart of my original AU.

I would also like to let you all know about my other fic, Fair trade! It's my original AU, Fraudtale Sans, wreaking some havoc in the multiverse. I'm going for a more villain like character, even it he verges on the line of neutrality.

Self promo done! I would also like to ask if you guys have any burning fic ideas you need someone to make a reality. At the moment I've got a ton of free time and would be happy to make a small fic if it's requested!

So yeah! Feel free to check out my Tumblr and/or leave a comment!

Have a great day/night everyone! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*.✧