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“What the hell are you guys all doing?” Aether frowned, taking one look at the huge mess in front of him. “This is a disaster.”
“Aether! I’m so glad you’re here. Take this,” Childe grinned, shoving a bowl and a whisk in Aether’s hands. “Oh, and mix them together please. And when I mean mix, I mean fold. Fold the batter.”
He eyed the batter in the bowl suspiciously. “Since when did you guys bake?”
“Since now. Thanks for helping by the way!”
“I’m not--”
“Oh? Thanks for coming to help, Aether,” Kaeya smirked from behind them, an icing pipe in his hand. “I’m glad you’re such a good friend.”
“We need all the help we can get,” Diluc agreed.
Aether sighed, then started folding the batter. “But what’s this for?”
Diluc coughed. “It’s for something… rather important.
“Important,” Aether repeated stiffly.
“Mhm. Something important. Also, for the last time, WE’RE NOT MAKING APPLE CUPCAKES,” Childe frowned, snatching the batter away from Venti.
“Oops, my bad!” Venti giggled, a plate full of cut apple slices in his hands. “My hand slipped.”
“Bullshit. You already cut the apples into slices,” Childe muttered.
“But apple cupcakes work all the same!”
“I’ve never even heard of apple cupcakes.”
“They’re definitely a thing. You can search it up. Besides, I’m sure she’ll like it too!”
“How do you even know she’s going to like it?”
“Because she likes apples!”
“You can like apples and not like apple cupcakes.”
“That’s a half assed excuse,” Venti pouted. “Besides, we’re making several batches. At least one of them can be apple cupcakes.”
“Vanilla only.”
“Some can be apple.”
“We’re only--”
“HOLD. Who are these cupcakes for, again?” Aether scowled, his face dark.
He put the pieces together. They were all talking about a ‘she’, and there was only one girl in the world that could make his friends all worked up. If he didn’t know any better, they were talking about…
“For our favorite girlie of course!” Childe winked.
Pause.
Suddenly, there was a loud bang. Childe’s body had been flung across the room.
He immediately hit the wall and crumpled to the ground. He was knocked out cold.
“That was the reaction I expected, but the intent was not nearly as murderous as I would have assumed,” Zhongli mused aloud, peering over Childe’s body. “Did you go easy on him this time?”
“I owed him a favor,” Aether huffed, examining his handiwork. “Still, I think I went a little too easy.”
He quickly turned around to look at the rest of them. “But don’t think you’re all off the hook either.”
“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Kaeya said, smirking.
How he wished he could wipe that stupid smirk off his face.
Aether sighed.
“Anyway, why are you guys doing this?” He muttered, worried about the answers that he would soon receive.
“Lumine said she liked guys that bake,” Venti cheerfully replied, scooping up a glob of frosting and licking it off a spoon. “And, we can definitely bake.”
“...Mhm.” Aether said skeptically. “And where’s Xiao and Albedo?”
“Apparently Albedo just found some scientific breakthrough and Xiao is off… doing something. Either way, they said that they were both busy.”
Aether nodded. He learned not to question Albedo and Xiao on their weekends.
“You aren’t upset?” Zhongli asked calmly.
“To be honest, I hope you give these to my sister.”
“Whaat? Really?” Venti exclaimed, surprised at his answer.
“She’ll never interact with you guys again after you poison her.”
“Hey! They’re frosted a little bad, but they don’t look inedible!” He huffed, bringing one of the cupcakes to his mouth.
Aether grimaced.
“Mmf. You… shwee?” He chewed, his mouth full of cupcake. “Not… too… bad…”
“Ah, um. That might have been our bad batch,” Kaeya chuckled, his eyes unable to meet Venti.
“Oh Celestia above. Help me now,” Venti whispered as he dashed off to the restroom.
“I think you guys should stop with this,” Aether sighed as he watched Venti run off. “You’re all going to wear yourselves out.”
“Lumine herself said that she prefers men that bake. If we try hard enough, we will definitely be able to reach success,” Zhongli stated, picking up the cookbook left on the floor. “Were the eggs cracked well? It seems to have a bit of a… crunch.”
“Wasn’t Childe in charge of the eggs?”
They all stared at Childe’s body on the floor.
“Let’s try again.”
“I’m sure we’ll get it this time.”
“Be grateful that I knocked him out for you. I’m doing you guys a favor.”
“You guys can’t be serious,” Childe moped, his face on the table. “No pity? At all? For the guy who was just knocked out by their own friend?”
Venti glared at Childe. “Someone didn’t crack the eggs right and nearly killed me!”
“It was an accident! I can’t help that my strength is too much for a couple of eggs,” He muttered under his breath.
Diluc sighed. “We finally got a good batch of well-made cupcakes out of the oven.”
"Thank Celestia Venti and Childe left for this batch," Aether remarked. "Probably the only reason why these turned out good."
The two of them hung their heads.
The sweet aroma of freshly baked vanilla cupcakes wafted through the air. It smelled good enough, at the very least. But they all had one remaining question.
“So? Who’s going to decorate them?” Aether asked skeptically.
They all looked at each other. Once they frosted the cupcakes, it was over for them all.
“It can’t be that bad, right?” Childe exclaimed, grabbing a frosting pipe. “It’s just a swirl. How hard can it be?”
“Yeah, yeah! I’m sure they won’t look too bad,” Venti agreed, taking a spoonful of the green frosting. “And they’ll definitely taste good!”
The two of them started decorating the cupcakes. A bad idea, to say the least.
“I’m not sure if cupcakes are meant to look that way…” Zhongli hesitantly said, looking at the… deformed mountain that was meant to be a cupcake.
“Ah, that's my masterpiece! This right here, is Mount Everest,” Childe remarked proudly. “It’s a geographical monument. I’ll definitely be sure to put a flag on top to decorate it later.”
Aether gave himself a mental face slap.
The rest of them, save Venti and Childe, looked at each other in defeat. This wasn’t going well. And a couple of moments later...
“Aand, done!” Childe proclaimed as he finished frosting the last cupcake. “We’re done! Finally, our successful batch of cupcakes!”
It was a mess. Most of the frosting looked like globs that were already sliding off (perhaps due to the fact that they decorated right after taking it out of the oven)?
"This one, I already introduced. Mount Everest! And this one is the leaning tower of Pisa. How I managed to recreate it in its exact likeness I will never know."
“...Yeah, whatever. Go ahead and give it to my sister.”
“It’s the thought that counts! They taste good anyway!”
“Mm.”
The next day, they all lined up in front of Lumine’s door, ready to give her the result of their hard-earned work.
“You know, I’m starting to doubt your handiwork,” Kaeya sighed, dragged here by the rest of them. “I’m going to completely disassociate myself with the rest of you guys when you present those.”
“And what if she says she loves it?”
“Most likely sarcasm.”
“Hey! Our decorating skills weren’t that bad. Plus it tastes great!”
“Yeah, that’s because I worked on the cupcake itself. You guys only decorated”
“Now hold on--”
“She’s coming,” Zhongli stated, quieting the three of them.
The door creaked open.
“Oh, it’s great to see you guys!” Lumine beamed, welcoming them in. “How are you all doing?”
“We’re doing good,” Kaeya smiled. “I hope we’re not intruding.”
“Oh no, of course not! Were you here to see Albedo and Xiao?”
“...Albedo and Xiao?”
“Oh, yes! Albedo and Xiao just dropped by, and they gave me the most wonderfully decorated cupcakes.”
They all cringed.
“C-cupcakes?” Childe said meekly.
“Yes! Cupcakes!” Lumine smiled, showing them a photo on her phone of the cupcakes Albedo and Xiao baked for her. They were exquisite, with a light vanilla cake base and delicate buttercream frosting swirl on top. Not to mention the butterfly sprinkles adorning it. “I really didn’t know they were such good bakers!”
“That’s...wonderful,” Diluc replied stiffly.
Zhongli sighed.
“So they were one step ahead of us all along…” Childe muttered to himself, his face dark. “That whole trip was utter bullshit.”
“Is there something wrong?”
“Nope! Absolutely nothing, girlie. Just thinking to myself…”
He quickly turned around to the others, all making eye contact with each other.
Although unspoken, they simultaneously agreed on one thing.
They were going to give Albedo and Xiao hell for this.