Chapter Text
“Are you sure there’s nothing in here?”
“I’ve looked twice, Chris,” Cassie says. “So did Jal. You don’t qualify.”
“I am a medical miracle,” Chris says, throwing down his copy of the Guinness Book of World Records in disgust. “I have died twice. I have been dead a total of five minutes and nineteen seconds. Surely that merits a world fucking record.”
“Not according to Guinness, it doesn’t.” Cassie tucks her feet up under her on the couch and takes the spliff Chris passes to her. Her head buzzes pleasantly. Exams are over, the sun is shining, Chris is home from the hospital for good, Sid is coming over later to spend the night. For once, it doesn’t feel like everything is just waiting to fall apart.
“Well, that’s just bollocks,” he says. “A guy dies twice and he can’t even set a record. What kind of world is this?”
“A lovely one,” Cass answers, and then giggles. He laughs and reaches over for the spliff.
“Think you’ve had enough of that, sweetheart.” He takes a long drag and holds his breath, squinting against the smoke as he expels it. “You know what we should do?”
“Go grocery shopping?” Cass suggests.
“Before that,” he says. “We should start a letter writing campaign. It is simply not right that I don’t qualify for a record. Fetch me my quill, Cass!” He holds out a hand in her direction, palm up. She rummages in her purse.
“No quills,” she says. “Only biros. Three of them. And two don’t work.”
“It’ll have to do.” She puts the working pen in his outstretched hand. He tucks it behind his ear and stretches to pick the Guinness book up from the floor, flipping through the pages in search of an address. “How’s your penmanship?” he asks her, holding the spliff between his lips as he talks.
“Terrible,” she admits.
“Mine’s probably worse,” he says. “Ah well, we’ll make do. The world must know of my glory.” Impulsively, she leans over and kisses his cheek.
“Aw, Cass, what’s that for?”
“The world wouldn’t be nearly as lovely without you in it, that’s all,” she says with a grin and a shrug.
“Perfect!” he exclaims. “Put that in your letter.”