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Skywalker seemed happy enough with his offer, if not a bit confused. “Are you sure you’ll have time to stay that long?” He asked. In his arms, Grogu cooed at Din, arms reaching towards him. Din smiled, fingers reaching towards his little blue figure flickering in front of him. He was already on his way towards them, ship hurtling away from Tatooine as fast as it could. It was, after all, what Boba had wanted— and what Din had agreed to. Embarrassment and anger and confusion and sadness all still coursed through him, but focusing on Grogu made him feel better. He would be seeing him soon.
Skywalker was staring at him, and not for the first time Din had the eerie feeling that the the Jedi could read his mind, even though they were not in person. He turned his attention from Grogu to the Jedi. “Yes,” he said, trying not to let his voice betray his emotions. “I’ll have plenty of time.”
Then maybe it’s best if you leave.
Yes, maybe it is.
Skywalker frowned. “Well, we would be happy with just a visit,” he said finally. “If you find yourself changing your mind.”
Din simply nodded at that, although he doubted he would change his mind. He needed something to keep him busy, and Skywalker’s former offer of Din helping him look for scattered Jedi artifacts would be a perfect distraction. Plus, he would be able to see Grogu, ensure that he was safe. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust the Jedi to do so— the Jedi had proved to be a strong and capable warrior— it was just that he felt better being there too.
Skywalker still looked hesitant, but he nodded his ascent. “I should be there in a few hours,” Din said, and Grogu gave him a wave and an excited squeal. Despite his feelings, Din found himself smiling at his son. “See you soon.” And then the call was disconnected and he was all alone.
He let out a sigh, leaning back in his chair and taking his helmet off to run a hand through his hair. He knew he could have had it off when he called Skywalker and Grogu— after all, they had both already seen his face. But he didn’t want them to see his face now, still red and puffy from crying. You’re a grown man, he scolded himself. You shouldn’t have let your emotions get the best of you.
It seems like they always managed to when Boba was involved.
He fidgeted with the controls, thinking back on their conversation. What had he done wrong? He thought... he thought that he and Boba were both on the same page. After all, he didn’t bare his face to just anyone, eat meals with just anyone, stay up late talking with just anyone. He didn’t just share his bed with anyone. He had assumed that Boba was the same. But that’s where you keep going wrong, he thought bitterly.
You don’t even know me, Boba had practically hissed.
I know you well enough.
Had that been the wrong thing to say? Din stared out at the blur of space going past him, hands falling still. Had he really presumed so much? He felt lost, confused. He truly hadn’t expected to be rejected so harshly, to be cast out. As happy as he was to be seeing his son, he wished that Boba was here too, at his side. He shouldn’t have... Well. He shouldn’t have come on so strong, he supposed.
I want you to be a part of my clan.
Din felt himself burn with embarrassment.
It was no small thing to ask. He knew that. He knew that Boba knew that, too. That’s part of what made his reaction hurt so much. Did Boba really think that Din didn’t know what he was asking for? Was Boba’s past truly that important to him? They were both bounty hunters— Din had done bad things in his past too, things he wasn’t proud of. He could only accept them and move on. There was little to be achieved from dwelling in the past.
He tilted his head back and closed his eyes. There was no point dwelling on this either, he supposed. Boba has given him his answer. Telling Din to leave was just a way to make it clear. He could only hope that by being around Grogu and running errands for the Jedi he could move past this.
The pain in his heart told him that that would be harder to do than he thought.
——
“I can’t thank you enough for doing this.” Skywalker... or Luke, as he had told Din to call him, took the book Din had recovered for him cautiously, as if he were afraid it would then to dust if he held it. Over the past few weeks Din has gotten him a small collection of Jedi items— books, like this one, ancient weapons, helmets, rocks, tapestries, and things Din didn’t even recognize. Luke reacted the same way to all of them— delighted and extremely thankful. It was... nice. Different. At least getting these things for him was much easier than most of the bounties he had gone after before. There was no fighting, in fact there were hardly any people at all. Mostly the items were in abandoned areas, and the hardest thing Din had to face were outdated booby traps.
Din watched as Luke gingerly turned the pages of the book, his eyes wide. Despite Luke’s obvious power and strength, he was new to being a Jedi. Din wasn’t sure how he felt about that, but there wasn’t much he could do. After all, aside from Ashoka, he hadn’t even heard of any other Jedi. And Luke was nice enough, good with kids and eager to learn more about Jedi things. Din was happy to help by bringing him these items, even if some of them just looked like junk to him. Helping Luke become a better teacher would help Grogu become a better student, after all.
As if knowing he was being thought about, Grogu suddenly appeared in the doorway, his big eyes landing on Din. His little face broke into a smile and Din couldn’t help but let out a chuckle as he immediately started towards Din, his arms out. Din easily scooped him up, holding him up to press their foreheads together. He took a moment to enjoy this feeling— the weight of his son in his arms, the feeling of being close to him. Grogu stayed still, seeming to know how much moments like this meant to Din. Soon enough, though, he was squirming, impatiently tapping Din’s helmet.
“Alright, alright,” Din sighed, and he shifted Grogu so he could lift his helmet up with his free hand. Ever since Din had made it clear to Grogu that he could see his face, Grogu had been a bit... greedy about it. Din felt amused, though, as Grogu let out a squeal of contentment and patted Din’s face with his little claws. Satisfied, he wiggled around in the way he did when he wanted to be put down. Din placed him down gently and Grogu contented himself with wandering around by Din’s feet, no doubt looking for a stray snack he could eat.
Luke cleared his throat, and Din flushed, realizing he was being watched. He lowered his helmet back down. “If you have time...” Luke started, and Din perked up, knowing that he was about to be sent on another mission. Luke never seemed to want to assume that Din would be sticking around for any more favors. But Din didn’t want to be anywhere else except for Tatooine, next to Boba. But Boba... Din swallowed, shoulders tightening. Boba hadn’t reached out, not yet. It was true that Din hadn’t either, but he wasn’t the one who sent him away. He wanted Boba to be the one to send him a message, to show that he still wanted Din.
Each day he was losing hope.
“There is another item that I have only recently heard about,” Luke continued. “I know I’ve been asking for a lot,” he added quickly, looking a little embarrassed.
“It’s fine,” Din said, because it was. He was half watching Luke, half paying attention to Grogu, who seemed to have locked onto some poor pest that was scuttling around. Din was tempted to step in and stop him, but he knew it was pointless. Besides, Grogu had ate far worse things before and seemed to be fine. His child had a strong stomach.
Luke brightened at that. “Thank you! But...” He paused, his expression becoming more serious. “I should warn you. Although I don’t know much about this item, the few things I have read about it warn that if someone is planning on handling it, they need to have... control of their emotions.”
Din stilled at that, dragging his attention away from Grogu. “Control?” He asked, confused. Did Luke think he didn’t have control over his emotions? He tended to think that he did. He hardly ever acted on them, and when he was given a job the job almost always came first. Years of bounty hunting had drilled that into him.
“Yes,” Luke said, pursing his lips. “It’s important for Jedis to have a certain kind of control over their emotions in order to use the force correctly. I know you’re not Jedi, but if you’re going to be handling a Jedi object, I think it’s better to be safe than sorry.”
“I won’t be handling it long,” Din pointed out.
“I know,” Luke said, looking thoughtful.
“And I wouldn’t exactly call myself an emotional person,” Din added dryly.
The corner of Luke’s mouth turned up, amused. “Many would say so, I agree,” he said. “But— Well, forgive me. I’m not trying to intrude on your personal life. But from the moment you’ve called and up until now I couldn’t help but notice that you’ve been going through some... personal turmoil.”
Din tensed, frowning. Luke could sense that? His mind went to Boba, and his heart clenched. It was true, he hadn’t stopped thinking of Boba since he had arrived here. The work was distracting, but only to an extent. Too often he had found his mind wandering, wondering what Boba was doing right now. If he was holding court, or eating, or doing paperwork. Din could picture him in each scenario, could see the furrow of his brow he would get whenever someone said something that annoyed him, the curl of his lip when he found something Din said amusing, the soft hiss of pain he would let out sometimes when his knees were acting up after a long day of court. Din missed him terribly, and it made his chest ache at random moments. Even when he was holding or playing with Grogu he would find himself thinking about how much happier Grogu would be if Boba was here too— his son had developed an attachment to Boba, probably due to Boba’s constant spoiling of him. How he had managed to find those little blue cookies after Din had only mentioned them offhandedly once, Din didn’t know.
Din still loved him. But he wished he didn’t.
“I’m sorry,” Luke said quickly, seeming flustered at Din’s lack of response. “I’m not reading your your mind or anything. I just can feel someone’s emotions through the force, especially when they’re strong.”
“It’s...fine,” Din said quietly. He still didn’t understand the whole force thing. But he did understand that Jedi couldn’t really control some parts of it. If the force was telling Luke that Din was having a hard time, then Luke couldn’t help but know. He let out a sigh, then jumped when he felt a pinch on his legs. He looked down and let out a huff as he saw Grogu trying to crawl up his boot, his claws digging into him. “Didn’t I tell you to ask if you wanted to be picked up?” He scolded, and he leaned down to pick Grogu up, smiling despite himself as his son settled into his arms, cooing at him.
When he glanced back up Luke was smiling too, and he seemed more relaxed. “Your son calms you,” he observed.
“Yes.”
“Perhaps he could go with you, then,” Luke said, and Grogu immediately perked up in Din’s arms. He turned his gaze towards Din. “What do you think?”
Din shifted Grogu in his arms. “It won’t be dangerous?” He knew it was a bit ridiculous to ask. Grogu had been in plenty of dangerous situations before. But Din didn’t really have a choice but to bring him. It wasn’t like he had a group of babysitters available to watch him every time he had to go do a job. But now Grogu had a choice— Luke was safe. This Jedi school was safe. There were other Jedi students here, children that Grogu was free to play and study and live with. He had safety and stability here. It was the life he deserved, the life Din hadn’t been able to give to him.
“It should be,” Luke assured him. “From what I’ve read, it was abandoned at a temple in an old Jedi community when the purge happened. The temple has been largely untouched, mostly because locals think that it’s haunted.” A flicker of amusement crossed Luke’s face. “But the temple is far from any settlements today, so you shouldn’t run into any trouble with them. And this Jedi community wasn’t known for putting traps in their temples.”
Din nodded, absently rubbing one of Grogu’s ears. It seemed safe enough. As long as Grogu stuck close to him. Besides, it might be nice for Grogu to take a break from his studies. “What do you think, kid?” He asked, and Grogu turned his head to look up at him, his eyes glittering. “It would be just like old times.”
“Bah!”
Luke chuckled at that. “I’ll take that as a yes, then,” he said, looking pleased. “I’ll send the instructions to the your ships comm.” Din nodded, and Luke crouched down slightly to tap Grogu’s nose lightly. “And I’ll be seeing you soon,” he said brightly, and Grogu bared his teeth in a smile.
“Safe travels,” Luke called as he left, knowing that Din would be leaving soon. Din didn’t like to wait when he was given a job. Especially now— any downtime he has was just an invitation for unwanted thoughts.
Din turned Grogu around so that they were facing. “Ready to go?” He asked. Din himself had not taken his things off his ship. Although Luke had offered him a room at the school, he had refused— he didn’t want to get too comfortable here. Even if Boba didn’t call him back, he did have other things to do. He needed to get Kryze to take the saber, he needed to find his clan, he needed to figure out a way to explain how he had broken the creed but still thought of himself as Mandalorian. The thought of doing any of those things seemed to paralyze Din, though.
Kryze hadn’t reached out to him yet, so he would ignore her until she decided to. Boba had put word out about Din’s clan, but so far nobody had gotten back to him. And as for his creed... well. Din found it easier not to think about that. He wasn’t sure how he felt about his creed, now that he has met more Mandalorians. He couldn’t deny that people like Kryze were Mandalorian. But he also couldn’t deny that his creed declared people like her as false, traitors to the way. Until he could see his clan again... until he could ask questions, and get answers, he was simply waiting to address that issue.
But he didn’t want to be unprepared. So his stuff stayed on his ship, an old gunship that Boba had gifted Din. It was no Crest, but it served its purpose. Boba had gotten it fitted out with a carbon freezing chamber and a generously stocked weapons cabinet, and that had pleased Din greatly. Over the months he had hesitantly added things to it to make it feel more like his— a messy drawing by Grogu sent to him by Luke, an armor rack, something he hadn’t dared to use on the Crest, a blanket he had picked out from a market he and Boba had visited.
He had strung up a hammock for Grogu, too, even though he hadn’t had a reason to use it yet.
Grogu grinned at Din and slapped the cheeks of his helmet with his hands excitedly. “Let’s go then,” Din said, and for the first time in a while, he felt himself actually looking forwards to doing something.
——
Luke had been right. The temple was out of the way, unguarded, and untouched. Din made it inside without any trouble, Grogu meandering along beside him once Din had made sure there really were no booby traps or unwanted guardians waiting for them. The temple was... nice. Crumbling slightly and taken over by plants, but Din didn’t mind that. He liked the calmness inside, the etchings on the walls, the clear connection with nature. Grogu seemed to be enjoying himself too, running around to investigate, although he would always make his way back to Din, cooing up at him. Din may not be able to understand him the way Luke did, but even he could sense how happy his son seemed.
At least Din was doing something right.
He smiled as he watched Grogu scramble towards an interesting looking plant before he looked down at the map Luke had given him. They should be close to the artifact, which had been placed in its own room, sealed away. Interesting. Luke had described it as a sharp gemstone, which Din didn’t think he would have trouble spotting.
He peered around, looking for anything that looked for a door. Luke’s map was rough, but soon enough he spotted a seam in the stone, and when he walked closer he could see that it led somewhere.
“Grogu,” he called, and Grogu let out a meep of acknowledgement before the sound of his little feet rasping against the floor was heard. Din leaned down to pick him up, not taking any chances with the new room. So far the temple had proven peaceful, but one never knew. Grogu didn’t seem to mind, and he stared eagerly as Din felt along the wall for some kind of handle.
He found it easily, half hidden in some decorative carvings. He twisted it, pushed, and the door moved slowly in, scraping along the floor. Din’s helmet picked up nothing— no heat signatures, no hidden weapons. He took a cautious step in.
The room was small and dusty. It had remained well isolated over the years— no plants were creeping in, and the stone seemed relatively untouched by time. Din had planned on using his night vision to spot the crystal, but he soon realized it was unnecessary.
In the center of the room, a green crystal glowed, suspected above a simple stone pedestal.
“That wasn’t too hard, was it?” Din asked Grogu softly. Grogu let out a soft whimper and turned his head into Din’s neck. Din frowned, looking down at him. “What’s wrong?” He asked, but Grogu only whined. Din looked thoughtfully at him before he gently dislodged him from his arms and placed him down, by the doorway. “It’s okay to be scared,” he said, trying to sooth him. “I’m going to grab the crystal and then come back to you. It will only take a minute.”
Grogu stared up at him, his big ears pressed back. Din wasn’t sure what was making him so nervous— he had been fine the rest of the time they had spent in the temple. And the artifact was Jedi. Jedi were good, or so Luke said. Din frowned at him and patted his head before standing back up and facing the crystal once again.
It would be easy to grab, he thought tactically. But his thought process didn’t go much further down that route. He was too distracted by how... beautiful it was.
It was sharp, almost needle like. It glowed a soft, alluring green. Din liked green. It reminded him of Grogu, of nature, of... Boba.
His heart squeezed in his chest.
He was heading towards the crystal without realizing it. No this.... this was what he was supposed to do, wasn’t it? He was here to get it for Luke. But why did it feel like he was no longer in control of his body? Distantly he heard Grogu whining, demanding Din’s attention. But his focus was entirely on the crystal, how calming it was, how it seemed to whisper promises in his ear. He blinked and his hand was outstretched, reaching towards it. He vaguely heard Grogu crying now, high pitched and desperate.
He his hand stopped, hovering over it. He blinked, swaying. Something wasn’t right.
He lowered his hand.
He heard Grogu crying out, wind rushing around him, whispering in his ears.
And then all he knew was darkness.
——
“What do you mean, he’s can’t talk?” Boba snarled, leaning forwards angrily. Across from him the image of Skywalker wavered and flickered. His face remained frustratingly calm, if not tense.
“I mean,” he said slowly, as if Boba were a child, “he can’t talk. Not right now, at least.”
“Then when?”
“I... don’t know,” Skywalker admitted, and Boba suddenly realized how stressed he looked. He had originally thought it was because of Boba’s attitude but...
His heart thudded in his chest, painful.
“Where is he,” he growled, and Skywalker frowned, his shoulders slumping.
“He’s here,” he said cautiously. “And he’s alright. He’s not injured or anything.” Skywalker had bags under his eyes, and Boba swore he could almost see a hint of a stubble along his jaw. Something wasn’t right, despite the Jedi’s words.
“Then what’s wrong?” He pressed, and he didn’t like how his voice had changed from demanding to pleading. If Skywalker noticed, he didn’t say. Instead he seemed to be lost in thought, staring somewhere where Boba couldn’t see with a furrow in his brow.
“You’re close with him, aren’t you?” Skywalker asked suddenly, his eyes snapping back towards Boba so suddenly the old bounty hunter almost flinched.
He bristled at the question. “Why does it matter?”
Skywalker held his hands up in a placating manner. “I mean... he was with you before he came here, wasn’t he?” He asked, and something in his tone told Boba that it was important that he was.
Instead of replying Boba nodded and he watched as Skywalker seemed to process that information, his jaw working. His eyes were tired, but hard. “I know you don’t like me,” he said finally. “And you won’t want to answer what I’m about to ask. But I need to know.” His gaze bore intensely into Boba. “Did you two have a fight before Din came here?”
Boba tensed, clenching his fists. Skywalker had no right— that was personal. Extremely personal. He let out a growl.
I want you to be a part of my clan.
“I told you it was important!” Skywalker snapped, and Boba stilled, surprised by his outburst. “I just—“ Boba watched as he ran his fingers through his hair before rubbing his jaw. “I need to know. Trust me,” he said, then winced. “Or— don’t trust me. But trust that I want the best for Din, as you do.”
Boba didn’t see how telling Skywalker about a spat between him and Din would get Din to talk to him. But he also didn’t know why Din wasn’t talking to him because the useless Jedi hadn’t explained anything yet.
“We had... a disagreement,” he admitted finally, and he watched as Skywalker nodded as if he already knew, his face clouded.
“Then... I think I need your help.”
“With what?” Boba asked, exasperated. “And where is Din?” I need to talk to him, Boba thought desperately. He hadn’t planned on Din running to the Jedi for cover. Was Skywalker just stalling for Din? Was he the one who had been rejecting Boba’s calls this past week?
“That’s what I need your help with!” How Skywalker thought he had the right to sound as exasperated as Boba felt, Boba wasn’t sure. He scowled under his helmet. “Just— I need you to come. Here.” He sounded desperate.
“Are you insane?” Boba snapped. He hated Luke and all Jedi. Inviting him to his little school or Jedi brats was a terrible idea. Not to mention the fact that Boba had a planet to run.
“Please,” Skywalker asked. “It’s not for me,” he added. “It’s for Din.”
That made Boba pause. He swallowed, trying to push down his reactionary emotions. Yes, he hates Skywalker. Yes, the last thing he wanted was to go to his little Jedi school and work with him. But... something was clearly wrong. Something was clearly wrong with Din. The very thought made Boba’s skin crawl. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.
“Send me your location.”
——
“He’s right in there.” Luke pointed towards the door in front of them. In the distance, Boba could hear the chattering of little Jedis running around, enjoying the break Luke had just granted them. The room Din was in was placed away from the central hub of the school he had built, which Boba appreciated.
He stared at the door with apprehension. He still wasn’t quite sure he believed what the Jedi had told him. Din touching a magic Jedi stone then passing out? It sounded... ridiculous.
But Boba had heard stranger things.
He steeled himself and pushed the door open.
The first thing he noticed was how... dead it was inside. The windows has been covered, leaving the room in a dim, soothing light. The room was silent, save for the steady breathing of the man inside.
The second thing he noticed: “He’s not wearing his helmet.”
“I know,” Skywalker sighed, stepping in past Boba. “For some reason Grogu is insisting that it stays off.”
Boba blinked, and for the first time noticed the lump sitting on Din’s chest. As he stepped closer, he saw that it was Grogu, sitting there staring at them. He let out a little growl and put his tiny hands defensively on Din’s chin.
“Hey—“ Boba started, but Skywalker stepped past him, his hands raised in a placating manner.
“It’s okay, Grogu. We won’t put his helmet back on. We’re just here to visit,” he said soothingly, and Grogu seemed to relax, turning his head back towards Din.
Boba followed gaze. He had seen Din’s face several times before, although he tried not to take it for granted. Din still showed his face to very few people around his castle. So far, in fact, only Boba and Fennec— although Fennec got to see it only occasionally. He knew that Din had allowed Skywalker to see his face. Still, it put Boba on edge to see Din laying here dehelmed, at the mercy of anyone who happened to walk into the room.
He looked... asleep. Peaceful, almost. Even when Din did sleep he seemed stressed, his eyebrows drawing together, his mouth falling into a pout. Since he had gotten used to sleeping with Boba he stopped sleeping so still and would twist and turn in the night, something Boba found both amusing and frustrating.
Din was doing none of those things now. He was laying on his back, arms over his chest. His breaths came out evenly, deeply. If Boba didn’t know any better, he would think that he was just a man catching up on some much needed rest.
Grogu let out a soft coo.
“I know, squirt,” Boba sighed, reaching down to par Grogu’s head. His ears were dropped and Boba could tell how tired the little one was. It was unsettling to see the bags under the kid’s eyes. He turned to Skywalker. “When’s the last time he’s gotten any sleep?” He demanded, and he scowled when he watched the Jedi’s shoulders hunch guiltily.
“He refuses to leave his side,” he sighed, coming to stand next to Boba. Grogu peered up at both of them.
“He’s the size of your boot,” Boba said flatly. “Why don’t you just—“ he leaned down to pick Grogu up but flinched back when Grogu let out a shriek. Tears bubbles up in the kid’s eyes and Boba let out a swear, quickly petting his head in what he hoped was a soothing way. “Okay, okay. I’m sorry.”
He tried very hard to ignore the smug look on Skywalker’s face. “I told you,” the Jedi pointed out.
“Okay,” Boba sighed, and tried very hard not to punch Skywalker in the face. “Just... explain this to me again.”
Luke nodded, sobering up. “The crystal he touched was a very powerful Jedi artifact. I didn’t have much information about it before he went in, but I managed to find some more stuff on it after— well, after I brought him back.”
“And how long as he been like this?”
“About a week.”
So about the same time that Boba pulled his head out of his ass and started comming Din. Kriff.
“Anyways,” Luke continued, “I guess it was designed as a sort of test for Jedi masters. Only those who had studied long and hard to control their emotions were supposed to come in contact with it.” He sighed, rubbing his chin. “I could sense that Din was upset about something, but I thought having Grogu with him would calm him enough. I suppose I.... greatly underestimated the power of this crystal.”
Boba scowled at him under his helmet. “You sent Din in without even knowing how powerful it was?” He demanded.
“It’s not like I meant for this to happen!” Skywalker huffed defensively.
“Because you didn’t plan ahead. Funny that you managed to find all of this information after you sent Din in,” Boba growled.
Skywalker gave him a scandalized look and opened his mouth before closing it and taking a deep breath. “Look— you’re right,” he said, and Boba blinked in surprise. “I shouldn’t have sent him in without knowing more about the crystal. I was— He was just so good at getting artifacts and I wasn’t sure when he would be leaving and I knows this one was important so— so I sent him. This is on me,” he acknowledged, and Boba could see that he truly did feel guilty.
Boba sighed. He knew if Din was awake right now he would be giving Boba one of his infamous play nice looks. How a hardened bounty hunter like Din managed to have perfected his puppy eyes was beyond Boba. It truly wasn’t fair.
He missed him.
“Alright,” Boba ground out. “Fine. It’s your fault. Now just— how do we fix this?”
Skywalker frowned at that, looking contemplating down at Din. Boba resisted the urge to cover Din‘s face.
“That’s the hard part,” Skywalker said. “I wish this was like the tales I’ve heard where you kiss someone and they wake up.”
“Kiss?” Boba asked incredulously.
Skywalker blushed. “You haven’t heard those stories? True love’s kiss?”
Boba frowned at him, even though he knew Skywalker couldn’t see it. Maybe his Jedi senses would tell him how annoyed Boba was. “This isn’t the time to talk about children’s tales.”
“I know,” Skywalker said quickly. “I was just...” He shook his head. “Never mind. From what I’ve read it looks like that the crystal punishes those who haven’t tempered their emotions before handling it. But... it’s a good kind of punishment?” He sounded unsure. “It’s supposed to make them confront their feelings. That’s where you come in.”
Luke turned towards Boba now, his eyes hopeful. “I know you two had an argument. And no—“ He paused, seeing Boba’s expression ”—I don’t know what it’s about. Din hasn’t said anything about it and I can’t read minds. I’m just hoping if maybe you... apologize? This will go away?”
“You want me to apologize,” Boba said flatly. He... wasn’t sure if he could. He wanted to. But he was— scared. Of a lot of things. He had enjoyed what he and Din had. They were good together. They had been good together. Din was good. Din was powerful and honorable and kind and soft.
Boba didn’t deserve him.
He knew he at least wanted to apologize for how he acted. But he didn’t want to apologize for what he said. He meant it. Din didn’t know what he was asking. He didn’t know Boba. He only saw the Boba that had crawled out of the sarlaac. The Boba from before was not someone Din would want to be with. He was ruthless and cold and cruel. Yes, Boba liked to think that he wasn’t like that anymore. But his past was still a part of him. He hadn’t talked about it with Din because what they had didn’t require him to.
But Din wanted more. And Boba was afraid of it and he panicked and lashed out and Din had left— he had told Din to leave— and now this happened and it left Boba feeling confused and helpless and scared.
Boba blew out a breath. “Okay,” he said. “I’ll apologize. But not with you here.”
Skywalker nodded eagerly. “I understand! I’ll just—“ he took a step towards the door “I’ll just leave and you can call me if he wakes up?” When Boba said nothing Skywalker gave him a nervous smile and slipped out.
As soon as the door shut Boba let out a sigh of relief, some tension in his shoulders easing up. He hates being around the Jedi. Despite his assurances, he still wasn’t sure if he could read his mind. Either way, his powers were intrusive and unwanted and unnecessary. All they did was cause problems like this.
Boba looked down at Grogu, who gave a soft meep. “I don’t know how you can stand that Jedi, kid,” he muttered, and Grogu tilted his head adorably. “Alright,” Boba said, crouching down so he was eye level with Grogu. “What I’m about to say stays in this room, alright? I don’t want you to go blabbing to Skywalker about any of this. Understood?”
“Patoo.”
Boba would take that as a yes. He sighed, turning his gaze back towards Din.
Why did you have to ask me? He thought bitterly. What they were doing was fine. It was working. They could have sex and share meals and have late night conversations without bringing love into it.
Couldn’t they?
“Okay,” Boba said, steeling himself. Just say it. Then Din would wake up and... Well. And what? Would they go back to ignoring each other? Boba didn’t want that. But Din hadn’t reached out to him for weeks. Was Din done with him? Boba wouldn’t blame him if he was. He knew he should have handled his proposition better. Boba frowned down at Din.
Just say it.
“Din, I’m sorry for being an asshole about what you said,” Boba declared. He stared at Din, waiting for him to wake up. But he didn’t stir. His breathing didn’t even hitch. He just kept sleeping, as if Boba had said nothing. Grogu let out a whine, patting his father’s face. Still nothing.
“Alright, then,” Boba said, starting to feel nervous. Wasn’t this supposed to make Din wake up? “I’m sorry for sending you away?” Still nothing. “I’m sorry... that I didn’t reach out to talk to you?” Nothing.
Boba scowled, turning towards the door. “Skywalker!”
Skywalker burst through the door, an excited expression on his face. “It worked? Is he—?” He stopped, seeing Din still asleep. “Oh.”
“I thought that apologizing would wake him up,” Boba snapped.
Skywalker frowned. “I only said that it might wake him up,” he reminded him.
“Well do you have any other ideas?”
Skywalker stared at Din, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. “I’ll have to do some more research.” He let out a sigh. “It’s been hard. I have other students here that need my attention...” He looked at Boba hopefully. “How long do you think you’ll be able to spend here?”
As long as it takes to wake him up. “I don’t know,” Boba muttered.
“Well, if you can stay a little longer, maybe we can try some more things,” Skywalker said. “I’m sure we can figure this out in no time!”
——
They didn’t.
They tried everything. From more kriffing crystals to meditation to slapping him very hard in the face (Boba felt really bad about that afterwards but he just wanted Din to wake up).
Din didn’t react to any of it. And every time they failed to wake him up, Boba felt more and more desperate. Yes, he knew that he had been nervous about Din waking up before. But now he didn’t care. He just wanted to see him open his eyes, to know that he was okay, that he wasn’t going to spend the rest of his life like this.
Grogu was beside himself, too. The poor kid was barely sleeping and spent most of his time staring intently at Din’s face as if it would wake him up.
Boba missed Din.
He had missed him before. He had missed him as soon as he told him to leave. As soon as he had heard the rumble of his ship leaving Boba had felt empty and cold and afraid. But he was also angry, at himself and at Din, so he leaned into the anger because it was easier to do that then admit to himself why he was feeling other things. So he had stewed like that, angry at himself for missing Din, angry at Din for leaving, angry that he had rejected Din, angry that Din had asked— it was a vicious cycle.
And then Fennec had knocked some sense into him. Literally. That woman was a tough fighter, and when she had Boba underneath him she tore him a new one. She berated him for his attitude, for not sleeping, for sending away their best bounty hunter, and for being an overall idiot. Boba didn’t want to hear it, but he needed to.
He called Din that night. But... he didn’t pick up. And then Boba got mad and depressed again but when Fennec sent him a glare over breakfast the next morning he tried again. And again. And again.
He knew something was wrong. He knew Din wouldn’t keep ignoring him like this. But what else was he supposed to do? He couldn’t just drop everything and go chase him down. He had no idea where he went. And on the slim chance that Din was just ignoring him, he would be humiliated.
And then Skywalker had answered one of his comms. And Boba had been miserable ever since.
Of course Din had managed to get himself into a situation like this. The idiot never stopped to think before he went plunging headfirst into something. Especially when he was doing it for others. When was the last time Din had done something for himself?
He was too selfless for his own good, too kind for this universe. Boba wanted to hide him away and protect him from anyone or anything that would cause his harm. He wanted Din to be safe, with him, forever, preferably.
He knew Din wouldn’t like that, though. Din would get restless, and besides he actually seemed to like helping people. But maybe... maybe Din wouldn’t mind the being together forever part.
“I want you to be a part of my clan,” Din had said, and he looked so earnest, so hopeful, it made Boba feel sick with guilt when he thought back on it. But they had agreed when they started what they were doing to leave emotions out of it.
Boba knew, of course, that that wasn’t going to work. He thought maybe it would, at first, before he got to know Din. But as soon as he did, his emotions had taken over. But he didn’t want them to. He had grown up viewing emotions as nothing but weakness, something to be exploited and used against him. Him rising to the throne of Tatooine only made him that much more of a target.
On top of that, he didn’t want Din to get close because he didn’t want Din to know about him. His past. Who he was, who he came from, what he had done— it was easier to keep things in the present. To pretend that he always had been king.
Letting Din in would just be messy for everyone involved. It would make Din a target. It would make Boba vulnerable. It would show Din that the man he thought he wanted wasn’t who he thought he was.
It would utterly ruin Boba.
He knew this. He had thought about it several times the past couple of months. He stayed up late, staring at the ceiling as he went over it in his mind, sometimes with Din laying there next to him, peacefully asleep.
He has concluded that it was best to just let those emotions go unnamed between them. Then Din had asked him to join his clan and Boba has rejected him because he had to and now—
And now Din wasn’t waking up. It felt surreal and terrible and Boba hated it, hated how Din just didn’t react to anything, hated the idea that he may never get to speak to him again, to explain himself or just have a simple conversation about the weather or the outfit Boba had picked out for Grogu the last time he went to the market. He wanted to hear Din’s soft laugh, see the way his eyes crinkled in the corners, the crows feet showing how many times he has secretly smiled in the past behind his helmet. Boba loved that he was able to see the smile now, that Din trusted him with it, that Din trusted him with—
I want you to be a part of my clan.
Boba was not okay.
——
Boba closed his eyes in annoyance. He was once again in Din’s room. Skywalker was standing over Din, chanting some nonsense from some useless Jedi book, waving some kind of root over Din’s body.
Din didn’t stir.
“Give it up,” Boba growled as he watched the Jedi flip back to the beginning for the third time to try again. “Clearly that’s not going to work.”
Skywalker frowned, lowering the root in surrender. He looked tired, Boba thought. Grogu, too. The poor kid had been dozing off during that and was now drooling onto Din’s shirt. Boba sighed, standing up and scooping up the kid. The past couple of days Grogu had allowed himself to get picked up and cuddled and even once carried out of the room for a very short nap. Boba planned on doing that now, but one look at Skywalker told him that the Jedi would be heading towards the sleeping quarters anyways. Besides, Boba hated leaving Din alone.
“Here,” he said, and he thrust the dozing child into the Jedi’s arms, causing him to almost drop his book and vegetable. “You two look like you’re about to pass out. Go get some rest.”
Skywalker gave him a surprised look, but instead of commenting he just nodded, shifting Grogu so he was cradling him against his chest. He paused at the door. “Tell me if anything changes?” He asked, but from the tone of his voice Boba could tell he didn’t expect anything to.
Boba didn’t either.
He nodded anyways and Skywalker bowed his head in return before turning to leave.
Once the door shut Boba dropped into the chair he had dragged beside Din with a heavy sigh. After he was sure Skywalker wasn’t going to walk in again he took of his helmet, too, so he could rub his hands over his face. He was tired. He didn’t realize how draining it would be just to stare at Din’s unmoving face all day.
But Boba didn’t want to leave him. It felt wrong. He wanted to be by Din’s side, to show him that he was there for him, even though Din wasn’t awake to really know that. He... he just wanted him to wake up. He didn’t care anymore how awkward it would be, he didn’t care if Din never spoke to him again, even though it would leave Boba absolutely miserable. As long as Din was okay, Boba could survive. But seeing him like this, in this weird twisted limbo...
Boba dropped his hands from his face so he could look at Din. This was the first time he’s been alone with him since this whole shit storm started, he realized. With Grogu gone it was just the two of them, and after a cautious glance at the door, Boba moved forwards and carefully took one of Din’s hands in his own. It was warm and soft and dry, and Boba squeezed it helplessly, wondering why he suddenly felt like crying. When was the last time he had been able to touch Din? Not touch in the way he has for some of Skywalker’s various attempts to wake him up but just... like this. A touch that meant nothing more than that Boba cared for him and was here for him.
Boba’s throat burned.
“You can wake up any time now,” he muttered to Din, using his free hand to furiously rub at his eyes. He had taken to talking to Din whenever Skywalker wasn’t in the room. Before he had pretended he was doing it only to make Grogu feel more at ease, but now Grogu wasn’t here and he still found himself doing it. “You don’t have to always be so dramatic whenever you don’t get what you want.”
Silence, but Boba expected that. He sighed, rubbing a thumb absently over Don’s skin. “It’s not that I didn’t want to say yes,” he said finally, softly, and it was the first time Boba had admitted that out loud. He did want to say yes, to let Din in and have him look at all of Boba and still give him that soft smile, that look of pure adoration, like Boba was the best thing that had ever walked into his life.
Because... Boba stared down at Din, gripping his hand tightly now. Because Boba loved Din, didn’t he? And he was being too much of an old grumpy asshole to realize it. He felt silly and sad and ridiculous for realizing this so late, when Din had already suffered for it. He loved Din and dangers be damned he wanted to be with him, to— to enjoy life with him, to wake up with him in the morning, to chat with him over caff, to hear his opinions and laugh his dry humor, to take care of him and be taken care of in turn and—
He was crying now, he realized belatedly, and he dropped Din’s hand to scrub at his face, annoyed at himself for crying, angry that he wasn’t able to stop.
Maybe he needed the kid in here to keep his emotions in check, he thought bitterly, dropping his hands after he realized that he wasn’t going to be stopping anytime soon. But... at the same time it felt nice to do this. To let go. He hadn’t cried yet, even though he felt hopeless and awful and sad every day. He kept a strong face in part to keep the nosey Jedi away and in part to help keep Grogu calm, but mostly because he hadn’t trusted himself to do this, to feel, to acknowledge how he felt about all of this and why he felt that way.
“This is all your fault,” he accused Din, turning his watery glare to the sleeping bounty hunter. “Why aren’t you waking up? We’ve tried practically everything.” He hesitantly reached a hand up, and even though he felt like gripping Din’s stupid curls and shaking him in frustration all he did was lay a hand gently on his cheek. “You’ve always had to be difficult, haven’t you?” He asked him quietly, and he took a moment to stroke his cheek, taking in how peaceful he looked.
He didn’t realize how close he was leaning in until his forehead brushed with Din’s. He missed this, he missed being close to Din, being tender with him, something he wouldn’t allow himself to do even in the presence is others. He licked his lips, which were salty and wet. “You know,” he said, “When this all first started Skywalker suggested that a kiss could wake someone up.”
Din kept sleeping, and Boba lowered his eyes. Taking in the rhythmic breathing that had been the background of his life for the past several weeks. “We haven’t tried it yet,” he practically whispered. “Do you think it’s worth a shot?”
Yes, Boba knew he was being selfish. But if he could use a child’s tale as an excuse to kiss the man he loved, well, he would. And so he closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and pressed his lips to Din’s.
The kiss was warm and salty and Boba could taste his tears and Din and his love and sadness.
It took him a very long time to notice that someone was touching his cheek.
He pulled back with a jerk and a gasp to find two dark eyes looking at him, in confusion and adoration and love. “Boba?” Din asked. “Where am I?” Then his brow furrowed and Boba couldn’t stop crying because— because it was so nice to finally see emotions on his face and he missed him so much and— “Why are you crying?”
Boba laughed because of course that was what Din cared about and he loved him so much and he couldn’t believe that Din was awake, here, in front of him— “You’re such an idiot,” Boba said, pressing their foreheads together a little too hard but Din didn’t say anything, he just raised a hand to grip at the back of Boba’s head. “I’m sorry,” Boba said, his lips moving against Din’s. “I’m sorry, and yes— I want to join your clan, please, I would love nothing more.” And oh, he could feel Din smiling against his lips and he kissed him again because he could, and Din kissed him back, and Boba swore to himself that he would never do anything to mess this up between them again.
——
“I still can’t believe it took you so long to kiss me,” Din grumbled, struggling as he tried to make it across the room without any help.
Boba couldn’t help the affectionate smile that crossed his face as he watched his stubborn husband wobble around. It turned out that laying around in bed for weeks wasn’t the best for your muscles, and Din was not taking the recovery period well. Boba knew that he couldn’t stop Din from pushing himself, but if he was going to insist on walking then he would do it under Boba’s and Grogu’s supervision. “It’s not my fault you were the one who grabbed a glowing Jedi rock without a second thought,” he drawled back, bouncing Grogu absently on his lap.
Din scowled at him, coming closer to them. “I told you, it made me do it,” he huffed.
“I’m sure it did, sweetheart,” Boba said in that playfully condescending tone that he knew drove Din insane.
Din huffed and stumbled towards them, and Boba shifted Grogu so that he could hook a hand behind Din’s knee and pull him closer. Din came willingly, his knees buckling so that he plopped down on Boba’s lap, causing Grogu to let out an annoyed squeak as his space was invaded. “Sorry, sorry,” Din shushed him, pulling him into his own arms. Grogu grumbled but soon settled, burying his face into Din’s chest.
Boba smiled up at Din, unable to stop himself. Din smiled back, and Boba couldn’t help but chuckle. “Look at us,” he said, and he raised a hand to bring Din down towards him, pressing their foreheads together. “A bunch of lovesick old men.”
“Hey, I’m not that old,” Din protested half heartedly, but he closed his eyes at Boba’s touch, his smile softening. “I love you,” he said, and Boba grinned like the lovesick old man he was.
“I love you too,” he said, and he meant it.
“Boo!” Grogu said, and both Din and Boba laughed.
“We love you as well, little one,” Boba said, and he pretended not to notice how Din looked at him with the sappiest expression he had ever seen on a person’s face before.
Boba wasn’t sure how he got so lucky. He supposed he did have to thank that stupid glowing rock, though. He wasn’t sure if he would have been able to confess without it. He let out a sigh of contentment, enjoying the weight and the warmth and the presence of the two beings he loved most in the universe pressing down and surrounding him.
Maybe the Jedi stuff wasn’t all bad, he mused to himself. He supposed he could be a little nicer to Skywalker in the future. After all, he could put up with Jedi bullshit if it kept leading him to things like this.
Yes, Boba thought, nuzzling into Din, this was all worth it.