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Ryuji Sakamoto was an age regressor, and that was a secret he was planning on taking to the grave with him. Nobody knew or even had an inkling of suspicion, and he was hoping to keep that way.
Sure, it was a harmless coping mechanism. Sure it had helped him out of multiple horrible panic attacks, but he couldn't even begin to imagine what other people would think about it.
I mean, a teenager acting like a toddler? Much less having the thought process of one for certain periods, having meltdowns, liking little kid shows and toys, etc, etc. He was certain that the track team would disown him and he would get the crap bullied out of him.
And then there was Ann Takamaki, his closest friend. She was one of the few people who he felt like he could trust, and he didn't want to lose their friendship. She would certainly drop him as soon as she found out that her best friend acted like a toddler in his spare time.
So him being involuntarily regressed at her house wasn't the best situation for him.
He had already been having an extremely stressful last few months, and today was just the droplet that overflowed him with stress.
Today was a practice tournament for his track team. Sure, it was just practice, but it was still super important. He wanted to try and get to every single meet, no matter how small and insignificant, so that he wouldn't let his team down. Yet, he had ended up spraining his ankle which made it extremely hard to even walk comfortably, and despite his desperate pleas, his coach wouldn't let him join the others. His teammates made it very well known that they weren't the happiest about him having to sit out, making faces as they passed him and shoving him in the locker room.
Later in the day, there was a sudden fire drill during his English class. He was usually somewhat okay with the alarms, even if they still freaked him out, as long as he was warned that they were going to happen, but this time he wasn't. The blaring and immediate sound shocked him, causing the start of today's downhill.
In the next class, while he was still trying to recover from his onset panic attack from earlier and not start balling his eyes out in class, his teacher commented on how there was most likely going to be a thunderstorm later in the day. Loud noises weren't usually a problem for him, but he knew that this was going to cause some issues.
Some kids screaming during lunch, and other random nuisances just set him off, even more, every single event making everything worse. His clothes felt off, everything was too bright and too loud and too sudden.
And of course, there had to be one last piece to tie his horrible day together and make it worse.
In the middle of class, he was told by his math teacher to meet him after class. Luckily, it was the last class of the day but the embarrassment of having the spotlight on him was already hard enough.
The entire class sat anxiously on the edge of his seat, waiting for the bell to ring. He already knew exactly what was going to happen, so if he could just get it over and done with, he could at least make it to the bathroom before he started uncontrollably crying.
The dreaded ringing sound of the bell finally hit, and he anxiously stood next to his teacher's desk as everyone else filed out. He felt all of their eyes bearing down on him as they left.
Once everyone had left his teacher stood up and closed the door, turning towards him.
"Sakamoto, I know that you're smart. I've seen your scores for your other classes. If you want to stay in the track team and get your scholarship, your going to have to try much harder." The old man chided, sitting back down in his seat and shuffling the papers on his desk.
"I know sir, I'm sorry. Is there anything I can do to make it up?" Ryuji anxiously asked, fidgeting with the hem of his jacket.
"Would you make it up though?" That sentence made Ryujis heart hurt. He did try, he did, but his teacher didn't believe him.
"Yes."
"Fine. You have two more weeks to redo and turn in anything missing. Come to me tomorrow and I'll have extra work. You better make it up or I'm not sure if I can promise that you'll have that scholarship."
Ryuji winced and tensed up, nodding. He very quickly left, grabbing his backpack and dashing down the hallway as soon as he was out of sight of his teacher.
The comment on his scholarship toppled him over the edge. He couldn't lose it simply because he didn't grasp one thing as well as others. He harshly bit his tongue to keep from crying before he reached the bathroom, quickly pushing past everyone else in the halls.
Luckily when he got into the bathroom there was nobody there. He swung open one of the stall doors and quickly closed it, dropping his bag onto the floor. His breath was shaky and his body trembled. Tears softly began to stream down his face as quiet sobs escaped his mouth. He slid down the wall of the stall, tightly holding his knees to his chest and chewing on his thumb, desperately trying to calm himself down.
A sudden buzz from his phone sent another wave of tears crashing down over his face, the noise sounding a million times more aggressive than normally. If he was big it most likely wouldn't have hit him so hard, maybe just spooking him a little bit, but currently, he felt very, very small.
He nervously opened up his phone and through his blurry vision, he saw a text from Ann.
Ann:
heyyy, are you free rn? i wanna hang out since i have no shoots today, if ur free
He sniffled and wiped his eyes so he would be able to type better. Being alone was probably the best thing for him, but he didn't want to disappoint Ann, especially after disappointing so many people already.
He responded with shaky hands, trying to make sure he typed normally.
You:
sure! are we going to walk together or are you already home?
He sat up and tried to pull himself together while he waited for Ann to respond. He dried and washed his face, smoothing out his clothes. He picked his backpack off the ground and took a deep breath in, trying to steady himself. He flinched when he heard his phone buzz again, but recollected himself. Even if he was screaming on the inside, he would not break in front of someone.
He opened back up his phone and looked at the message that Ann had sent him.
Ann:
im waiting outside for you! im just right out front
He nodded to himself in the mirror, before anxiously walking out of the school, avoiding any glances from everyone he passed. He walked over to Ann and faked a big smile, patting her on the back.
The two of them started heading off towards her house. He kept her talking about her most recent shoots and school so that he wouldn't have to talk too much.
Halfway thru, Ann got quiet for a second before asking him something.
"So, how's your ankle doing?"
"Umm, It's okay. Buh who t-" He stopped midway through his sentence, realizing the slip in his speech, before quickly fixing it.
"But who told you?" He corrected, hoping that she wouldn't notice.
"I saw you sitting out earlier. Plus you're limping a bit." She answered, tossing one of her blonde curls behind her shoulder.
"Oh yeah, that makes sense."
They continued to walk in slightly awkward silence, Ryuji forcing himself to talk even though he did not want to say anything. He adored speaking with Ann, she was one of the only people he genuinely enjoyed talking with, but whenever he was impurely regressed he just did not want to talk at all. He didn't like pretending to be happy and upbeat when all he wanted to do was lay down with a pacifier, stuffed animal, and cry.
Halfway there, the rain started to softly fall, causing Ryuji to tense up at the droplets.
"Oh, we should get to my house quick before it gets too much worse. Dont want you tripping and messing up your ankle anymore."
"Hmm? Oh yeah, that wouldn't be fun. Guess my teacher was right about the storm."
"Oh did one of them say it was going to storm?"
"Yeah, he said it was probably gonna be thundering for a little while," Ryuji said, sighing.
"Oh, do you not like thunder?"
"Uh-" he paused for a second, thinking about what to say.
"I mean it's pretty cool, but like... the cold will make my ankle hurt more so. Plus, as you said, I dont want to trip since it'll be so wet." He said, proud that he thought of a somewhat believable lie on the spot, at least until he looked over at Ann and saw her eyes practically boring into his soul. She knew something was up but decided not to say anything.
"Well, do you want to have a sleepover tonight?" She asked.
Ryuji's face contorted in a slightly disappointed look for a second, before changing back to normal.
"We dont have to if you dont want to of course." Ann quickly added in, seeing how he looked slightly uncomfortable.
"No, it's okay I want to!" He said, lying through his teeth.
He just wanted to lie down and take a nap. Trying to seem big and talk big while in the middle of a panic attack was hard, and he was struggling hard enough with just walking to her house and not letting her notice anything was off, which he was probably failing at.
He quickly shot a message towards his mom that he was going to stay at Ann's for the night right as the two entered her house.
It always felt so cold and empty every time he came over, even when her parents were home, which was rare. That was one of the reasons why Ryuji would never turn down an invitation to hang out at her house, even if he didn't want to. He didn't want her to feel lonely, something that he had come to know all too well.
Her home was very large and old, every creak of the floorboards scaring little Ryuji as they walked up to her room. Luckily, her room was padded with plush carpet so the creaking wasn't too loud inside her home, but he could still easily hear the sound of rain resonating through the skeleton of an abode.
When she asked him what he wanted to do, he picked out a random movie so that he wouldn't have to talk much for a good while. As he put the DVD in and began playing it, he curled up into a ball in the corner of her bed, placing a blanket over him. Ann tossed her phone and earbuds onto the bed and sat on the opposite side of it, cuddling up to a Hello Kitty plush
Despite him begging that the two of them simply chilling and watching a movie would help him feel better, the thunder had to betray him right as he had started to calm down. Not even halfway through a loud boom rang through his ears.
He made a soft, surprised sound and clutched his legs to his chest, clenching his fists. He barely made any sound or movement, but it was just enough to get Ann's attention. He loved that she was so attentive, but sometimes it was a curse.
She lowered the sound of the TV and looked at him with worry-filled eyes, leaning towards him.
"Hey, you okay Ryuji?" She asked, and he nodded back.
"Uh, yeah, it's nothing! The lightning just surprised me, that's all." He said, trying to laugh it off as he returned to a normal sitting position. He suddenly tensed up again when thunder struck for the second time, and Ann turned her whole body towards him, pausing the movie.
"Okay, look Ryuji. I didn't want to just directly bring it up, but please just tell me what's wrong."
"Seriously, I'm fine. As I said, it's nothing, alright?" He said, slightly defensive.
"We've been friends long enough for me to know that it's not just nothing." She huffed. "You've been acting off all day. Honestly, you've been different for the last couple of weeks. I'm your friend, you can tell me what's wrong!"
He began to mutter out some excuse about how he was just stressed because of the track, before a giant boom of thunder hit, worse than the last two. His breath hitched and his stomach dropped, his body trembling. His hands clenched tightly onto the blanket, and Ann immediately crawled over to him.
"Hey, hey... it's okay. Breathe for me, alright?" She said gently, rubbing the back of his hand.
Her kind words, how he acted genuinely worried for him. That mixed with all of the stress just hit him at once.
Tears began to stream out of his eyes and he sniffled, and Ann sat directly in front of him, tightly holding his hand.
She started to say something that he couldn't hear because of another thunderstrike, but instead of the blaring sound of it striking the ground, it was much more muffled instead, as he realized that Ann had put her hand over his ears.
And he broke.
He started sobbing, and Ann pulled him into a hug, softly stroking the back of his head. He tightly latched onto her, crying out apologies between choked sobs.
Another clap of thunder hit and Ann moved her hands over his ears again, but just late enough that he still heard it as loud as normal, causing another wave of tears.
Ann quickly pulled one of her hands free and grabbed her earbuds and handed them to Ryuji.
He didn't want to let go of her, but he slightly shifted himself and put in the earbuds. Ann then plugged them into her phone and gave that to him as well, letting him listen to anything.
It was a bit hard trying to type, the tears in his eyes making everything blurry, but he eventually settled on a simple lofi radio and turned it up. He cuddled back into Ann's arms and continued crying, as she softly mumbled words of encouragement and rubbed his back.
He had never been comforted like this before, and it made him super emotional, but not in a bad way. His Dad wasn't the best kind of person, and he wasn't even around that often. His Dad's view was that boys should be manly. Showing emotion was a trait that a man shouldn't have. It was weak willed, and he couldn't have a son that was weak willed. God forbid Ryuji cry in front of him; he couldn't imagine what would happen if he did.
His mom worked so often and already struggled taking care of the both of him, especially with his Dad's absence, o burdening her with his issue was entirely out of the question. She had so much to worry about already, and he couldn't bare the thought of worrying her even more.
Everyone else just saw him as the "tough and funny friend", so no one ever saw fit to genuinely check up on him. His track mates only saw him as a way to push forward.
So this, Ann gently holding him as she softly rocked him while he cried, her petting his head and rubbing his back, was something he wanted forever. The feeling of being genuinely cared for, genuinely worried over, was amazing. It made him feel infinitely smaller than whenever he tried regressing on his own since she felt like an actual protective figure.
The two of them sat there for about another 20 minutes as she patiently waited for the storm to end. Ryuji finally quieted down, only sniffling on occasion, but still clutching to her as if he let go, she would fall away from his, far out of grasp.
A couple more minutes passed, and she softly patted his shoulder, signaling for him to pay attention. The two of them split from their prolonged hug, Ryuji drying his eyes as he pulled out the earbuds and handed Ann back her phone.
"Hey, Ryu, the storms over now." She said gently.
He nodded and looked at her, noticing the very wet spot he had left on her shirt. His face went red with embarrassment, and he turned his head away.
"Are you better now?" She asked, eyes still filled with worry.
"A lil..." He mumbled, sniffling and rubbing his eyes with his sleeves. He felt embarrassed about their current situation and hoped that Ann wasn't too uncomfortable.
"I mean, I knew things had been stressful for you, but I didn't know things were this bad. Is there anything I can do to help?" She asked.
He nodded. Maybe if he told her about his regression she could help? Or at least just let him fall asleep with a stuffed animal or something. But, he was still terrified of how he would react. But he could tell that he wasn't going to be able to pretend to be big for much longer.
"Could you tell me what it is? I'm pretty sure I could at least do something to help you."
He shook his head, still avoiding eye contact. She looked a bit taken aback, making him feel bad.
"Why not?"
"You'd judge me..." He sniffled. He probably would have started sobbing again if his eyes weren't so dry and he wasn't so dehydrated.
"I dont think anything could be that terrible. I just want to help you, okay?" She cooed.
He shook his head again, and she sighed.
"Could you type it out for me if you dont want to talk? I promise I won't judge you, okay?" She nudged her phone back towards him, the sincerity in her voice making him cave in.
He shakily nodded and took her phone. She seemed genuinely worried, so maybe it would go over well if he told her. The worst thing to happen was that she would think it's weird.
After a few tries he hesitantly typed 'age regression' into Google, with him being small making it a bit hard to spell correctly. He clicked on an informational page about it in case she didn't know what it was so that she could learn, and hopefully not be disgusted by him.
He handed her back her phone and pulled his knees to his chest, ready for rejection, or a grossed out glance, or something that indicated she thought that he was weird.
She made a few remarks under her breath, each one earning an uncomfortable glance from Ryuji. When she finished reading, she looked at him, and he braced himself for whatever she had to say.
"Umm, so would you like me to take care of you? I can do that if that's what you're asking Ryu." She said, smiling at him.
He stopped for a second, confused at her answer, then nodded. Sure he wasn't entirely sure about why she just thought of it as something normal, but he would much rather take that over getting cursed out and losing their friendship.
"Well, I have plenty of snacks, so we can go grab some if you want to! I also have a bunch of little kid movies. I dont have many toys though... I mean I have a bunch of plushies I guess so?" She said, tapping her chin as she began mumbling to herself, listing off different things that she had and could do, until she noticed that Ryuji was looking at her.
"Oh- uhm, so you dont find it weird?" He mumbled, straining to form a full sentence.
He sniffed, anxiously clutching at the blankets.
"Not really. I've seen some stuff on agere before, and I mean it's better than doing anything harmful to yourself, so I dont mind. Oh! What should I call you? And I should have asked what kind of things you want to do... You could write them down for me! No, wait it's probably hard for you to type depending on your age... What is your age?" She continued, seeming genuinely interested.
He tried wrapping his head around what he was hearing. She didn't even seem the slightest bit disgusted, having even offered to take care of him.
He lifted 4 fingers, and she smiled.
"Adorable! Are you usually four?"
He shook his head. He was usually around 6-8 years old, but because of so much piled up stress it sort of forced him to go younger. She shook her head and paused for a second, thinking about something.
"What do four year olds even like to do..." She said, staying silent for a second before her eyes went wide. "Oh, I'm so sorry! I didn't realize that I've just been bombarding you with questions, I'll ask them later when your bigger little one. Wait, can I call you that?
He nodded, and she breathed a sigh of relief.
"Okay so... what do you want to do? I dont know what to do..."
He shrugged his shoulders, playing with the hem of his shirt.
"Could you tell me? Or do you not feel like talking?"
He nodded, and she pulled out her phone yet again, opening her notes app.
"Okay, cool. Can you write it down for me?" She handed her phone to him, and he took it, somewhat struggling to spell everything.
'snacks and a movie, please. what can i call you?' He wrote down, before handing it back to her.
She read it over, and set it down on the bed, standing up.
"Okay! We can go get snacks, and then we'll find something to watch. And you can call me whatever you want, okay? You should also probably go to sleep soon, since it's late and we wouldn't want a grumpy baby." He smiled at the comment. Even though it was a suggestion, it was somewhat like she was setting up a rule for him, which made him feel even smaller.
She leaned down and stuck her hand out, offering to help him up. He took it and pulled himself up. He bit his lip, wanting to be picked up. He didn't want to go back down the loud, creaky stairs. As she turned around, He grabbed the hem of her shirt, lightly pulling on it.
She turned back around and looked at him.
"What is it, Ryu?"
"Uhm, up please." He muttered, and she smiled excitedly.
It was only two words, but that was progress. Two words meant he was getting more comfortable around her.
She lifted him with ease princess style and cautiously carried him down the stairs. She set him down, and the two of them walked into the kitchen, Ryuji setting himself down on the counter, swinging his feet off the edge.
"Alright, let's see here... Uhm, you just wait there Ryu, I'll grab you something to eat!"
She began filing through cabinets, the fridge, and the freezer, pulling out everything sweet and snack like filling up the island in the middle of her kitchen with treats and food.
"Okay, pick whatever you want!"
He sat there looking at everything, a bit overwhelmed. He shook his head, softly rocking back and forth on the countertop.
"Is there nothing that you want?" She asked, biting the inside of her cheek.
He shook his head again. Everything looked good, but he would feel bad just taking whatever. Plus there was so much, he wouldn't even know where to begin with what he wanted.
"Uhm... You pick..." He mustered out, getting slightly anxious and more fidgety.
"You want me to pick? Ah- I guess that would make sense. And I guess I did bring out a little bit too much..." She said, causing Ryuji to softly giggle at the statement.
Ann began putting most of it back, keeping out a box of prawn crackers and a jug of apple juice.
"Will this work? I'm not entirely sure what you like, so I hope these are okay."
He nodded and Ann beamed, happy that she was doing something correctly. She poured out a cup of apple juice into a blue plastic cup and put a curly straw into it. She then put some of the crackers into a bowl, before putting everything else up and handing Ryuji the cup.
"I dont have any like, baby bottles or cute cups, so I hope this is a good replacement! You can bend some parts of it too." She said, showing him that parts of the straw flipped around to create a new shape.
His eyes lit up in awe and he nodded, cautiously climbing off of the counter. The two walked back up the stairs, Ryuji too excited to focus on the creaking.
He sat back down on the bed, cautiously carrying the cup in one hand as he tried to get himself comfortable.
"Make sure not to spill it, okay baby? We wouldn't want that to stain now would we?" Ann said, taking the cup from him so he could get settled in.
His eyes lit up at the pet name, something so simple making him feel so happy. He quickly made himself comfy as Ann set the cup down on the bedside table. She then went over to her closet and picked out a few movies, putting them in front of him.
"Alright! So we have Ponyo, Spirited Away, Treasure Planet, and Robin Hood! I hope this isn't too many choices for you little love. I also have plenty more movies to choose from if you dont want to watch these."
He picked up Treasure Planet and Spirited Away, handing them to her and shaking his head.
"Hmm... Do you not like these?"
He froze for a second. Sure he liked them, but some of the scenes were too scary.
"Scary..." He responded.
"Oh, okay! So nothing scary for you?" She asked, putting the two DVD cases back up.
He shook his head. He didn't want to be scared. He just wanted to watch something cute and cuddle up with Ann. That sounded nice, being in her warm grasp with tasty snacks and a good movie.
She walked back over and set two new DVD cases in front of him, one of them having duct tape on it that had Laputa written on it, and the other a disk for My Neighbor Totoro.
"Would you like to watch any of these?"
"Castle in th' Sky?" He asked, pointing to the case labeled Laputa.
Ann laughed and nodded.
"Yeah, it's one of my favorite movies. The covering got worn down since I've had this for like, over 10 years now I think? So I had to just, do that. Would you like to watch it?"
He nodded, and she put everything up, before putting the poorly labeled movie into her DVD player and turning it on, turning the sound up a little bit.
She had Ryuji sit on the floor just for a little bit. She took out a bunch of extra blankets and pillows and stuffed animals, lining her bed with them so that Ryuji could comfortably fall asleep wherever he wanted to.
Once she finished, She sat down at one corner of the bed, and Ryuji crawled up next to her, cuddling against her chest as he excitedly watched the movie, making small comments on characters, his favorite parts, etc.
His food had been long forgotten at this point, and Ann had to bug him and remind him to finish it.
He very quickly finished them, returning to his spot cuddled up against Ann.
He slowly started becoming more and more sleepy, getting slightly grumpy when Ann shifted since her leg fell asleep. He moved to her legs, laying his head on a plush bear. Ann covered him in a cute star patterned blanket.
Everything felt blurry and dreamy, but in a good way. He was warm and didn't feel hungry, and all of his previous anxiety had been thrown out the window.
His head felt heavy, and Ann chuckled as she watched the small boy fight against sleep, eventually losing the battle halfway through the movie. She very carefully lifted him off of her and properly laid him down on the bed. She then turned down the sound on the TV and went to go set herself up on the floor, until she felt a small yank on her shirt when she started to sit down.
She turned around, seeing Ryuji with the bear held tightly in his grasp, his eyes filled with tiredness. His face was scrunched up.
"What is it?" Ann asked, trying not to giggle at the adorable scene before her.
"Dont go Sissy." He softly pleaded, his voice sounding strained.
He was pulling at her heartstrings with that adorable nickname.
"I'm not going to go. I'm just gonna be right here, okay?" She said, pointing to the floor, and he shook his head.
"Nuh uh. Stay here please." He begged, looking up at her with puppy dog eyes.
She sighed, and gave in, sitting down on the bed.
"Alright, I'll stay with you here." She quietly said, lying down and tucking herself under the covers next to him.
Ryuji was happy, even if he didn't entirely understand what was going on or what he was doing. All he knew was that his Sissy was cuddling with him, and he felt safe.
Ann wrapped one arm around his waist, and he curled up against her, the only thing separating them was the large teddy bear that he still clung to.
"Alrighty, good night Ryu! Sleep well, okay baby?" She said, kissing his forehead.
"Mhm... Ni' ni' Sissy..." He mumbled, quickly succumbing to sleep. Ann pet the back of his head, humming a soft tune to him, before soon passing out soon after.
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Ryuji woke up at an unknown time, the familiar warmth of Ann laying next to him all night suddenly gone as he realized she wasn't next to him.
As he started to gain consciousness again and the hazy sleep wore off, everything began rushing back to him and he shot up, his face flooding red with shame. He groaned and laid his hands in his head, worrying about what was going to happen afterward.
He smoothed out his clothes and grabbed his phone before rushing downstairs to find Ann.
He found her in the kitchen, making scrambled eggs and toast. When she saw him she smiled, setting down her spatula and turning the heat of the stove down.
"Good morning! Did you sleep well?" She asked as she began plating the food.
"Yeah. Uhm, I am so sorry for last night, it was just a slight slip up, so just like, forgot that I guess?"
She looked at him, slightly puzzled.
I mean, I didn't mind. It was kind of fun taking care of you." She said, handing him the plate.
"Ah- It was? Um, thank you I guess, but you dont have to. I know it's kind of a weird habit."
"As I said, I dont find it weird. It's fine, seriously, okay?" She smiled at him, handing him a fork, and he paused for a second.
"Uhm... Thank you." He said in response, not entirely sure what else to say.
"Your welcome. Hey, anytime you feel small, just message me, okay? I'd be up to caring for you if you dont mind that is."
"Will do." He nodded, and the two of them started eating, sitting in silence, quietly enjoying each other's presence.