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Aira sat on the edge of the trunk, swinging his legs as he looked past the trees nearby. The group had found a clearing near a small stripmall, and Tatsumi had told Hiiro and Aira to watch the car while he and Mayoi went to investigate the stores. It was nerve wracking being without the older two, but it was honestly preferable to being in a car that Tatsumi was driving.
But nothing caused Aira more anxiety these days than being alone with Hiiro; though he had tried his best to ignore it, Aira could no longer deny the feelings he had for the other boy. They had only met a few months ago, and in such a horrible situation too, but it was the first time someone had been so kind to him—and the fact that that someone was a cute boy didn’t help his case.
Aira glanced over at Hiiro, who was sitting beside him, weapon in his lap. Aira doubted Hiiro thought about romance, with his emotional intelligence being so low, but he couldn’t help how he felt, what he wanted to do with the other boy. Aira wondered if they even had time for those kinds of things, but Tatsumi certainly thought so, with him encouraging Aira to confess (plus, his endless flirting with Mayoi made it pretty obvious to Aira that the man had no qualms about pursuing a relationship).
“Aira?” Aira was snapped out of his thoughts when Hiiro said his name, looking at the blonde curiously. “Are you okay? You’ve been staring at me for a while. If there’s something you need from me, please tell me.”
Aira felt his face grow warm at the realization of him being caught, and he looked down, clearing his throat. “I don’t have anything to say, I was just spacing out. It’s not always about you, Hiro-kun.”
“Sorry,” Hiiro said, “But it’s not good to get so lost in thought. We need to be on high alert, in case revenants appear.”
“I got it, I got it,” Aira said, waving his hand dismissively. Aira wasn’t sure what kind of environment Hiiro had come from, not really understanding half of the things he said about his ‘hometown’, but he knew it was a completely different environment from how he was raised. Hiiro, despite being near the same age as Aira, was scarily good with revenants, as if killing was just in his nature—Aira sometimes wondered if his parents were survival nuts who had raised him in some kind of bunker, preparing him for the apocalypse, but with the way Hiiro talked about it, it sounded more like he was raised in the jungle.
Either way, though, Aira had to acknowledge that Hiiro was a valuable asset to their group. Although Tatsumi acted more as their leader, Hiiro was able to pick up the slack when the older man’s leg became too much of a bother. He was even able to work with someone like Mayoi well—Aira wondered where they would be if they had never run into Hiiro that day, or if they had let Hiiro leave to look for his brother by himself.
Aira didn’t want to think about being without Hiiro. He could tell himself it was for survival’s sake all he wanted, but he knew the real reason. He felt like an idiot, thinking about something like that in this situation, no matter how much Tatsumi assured him it was okay.
“Aira,” Hiiro said, once again snapping Aira out of his inner turmoil. “Do you want to walk around a bit? You seem restless.”
“Will it be okay to leave the car?” Aira said, “We have supplies in here, if anyone took them…”
“As long as we are in view of the car, I think it’s fine. I believe this place is abandoned, anyway,” Hiiro said, standing up. He offered Aira his hand, smiling. “You do not seem to want to talk about your troubles, but I would feel bad doing nothing to help you get them off your mind.”
Aira blinked in surprise, before huffing, taking Hiiro’s hand. “Stupid Hiro-kun, it’s not like there’s anything you could do, even if I talked about them. But whatever, if you wanna look around that badly, we can~”
The two walked into the first store they saw—it wasn’t in a good state by any means, but a building with no bodies or revenants in it was a blessing these days. Aira looked around, and he gasped when he saw a familiar poster on the wall. He walked towards it, Hiiro following closely behind.
“This is—!!”
“Aira? What is it?” Hiiro asked, following Aira’s eyes to see what he was looking at. “Ee-den…?”
Aira nodded, facing Hiiro. “Mhmm! A poster of Eden, one of Japan’s biggest idol units! You remember me explaining idols, right?”
Hiiro nodded. “Umu...they were something you were quite fond of before the outbreak, yes?”
“Yeah, yeah!” Aira said excitedly, “Ahhh, I wish I could’ve seen them live at least once before this all started~ Not being able to go to a concert ever again is painful…”
“Concerts,” Hiiro said, “We had some in my hometown, but they seem different from the ones here.”
“The ones in your hometown were probably small, right? Idol concerts here had hundreds—sometimes thousands—of people there!” Aira explained excitedly, “The energy at them was always soooo amazing! Everyone in the seats were complete strangers, but we were all able to bond over the love we had for our favorite idols!”
“I see...it sounds fun, Aira,” Hiiro said, turning back towards the poster. Aira, seeing the look of curiosity and longing in Hiiro’s eyes, felt himself grow a bit depressed.
“Mm...you would’ve liked them, Hiro-kun.”
Hiiro turned back towards Aira, noticing the shift in his tone. “Aira? What’s wrong?”
“It’s just,” Aira sighed, “I wish we could’ve met before all of this. I could’ve shown it to you, concerts...I could’ve shown you a lot of things.”
“Aira…”
“Like,” Aira sighed, “It’s unfair, isn’t it? My first friend, and I had to meet him when people are eating each other. We won’t ever be able to hang out as normal friends.”
“Normal…? I don’t really understand what you mean,” Hiiro said.
“Of course you don’t—” Aira began, before shaking his head. “Never mind, I’m just being all depressed by myself. Forget I said anything.”
“No,” Hiiro said, grabbing Aira’s wrist before he could walk away. “I want to help you if you’re sad, Aira. Please tell me if something is wrong.”
“...” Aira hesitated, but continued, looking down to avoid Hiiro’s gaze. “I want us to go to a concert together. I want to show you how exciting they are, I want to see you get pumped up with me. I want us to go to a cafe afterwards and talk about it, how fun it was, how great the idols are. I want to walk to school with you, excited that I actually have a friend to do that with, and I want to eat lunch together on the roof.
“I want to go to the mall with you after school, and to go into that one idol gift shop I always shopped at. I want you to ask me about all the different idols, and I want to explain them all to you. I want to walk around the shopping center, just talking about whatever, and I want us to hold hands even when we’re not running for our lives. I want to be in my room with you, watching videos on my laptop together and laughing at stupid TV shows. I want to ride bikes together, to go to karaoke together, to go somewhere that doesn’t smell like the dead, I—”
Aira didn’t realize he had been crying until Hiiro pulled him in for a hug. The way he squeezed Aira’s shoulders hurt just a bit, but he found himself melting into Hiiro’s touch, wiping his teary eyes on his shoulder. “Sorry, Hiro-kun. Even though you probably don’t understand what those things are, I…”
“You’re right, I don’t,” Hiiro said, “I don’t know what karaoke is, and I’ve never been to a proper school, but I know those are important things to you. And I know I cannot bring them back. But please trust me when I say, Aira, that I want to be with you under any circumstances. I’m happy we met.”
‘I’m happy we met.’ No one had ever told Aira something like that. No one had ever smiled the way Hiiro did when they saw him, no one had ever wanted to hold his hand and be close to him the way Hiiro did. The tightness in Aira’s chest hurt, and he pushed Hiiro away, but didn’t let go of his arms.
“Aira?” Hiiro asked, “Are you okay? Do you want to sit down?”
“N-No,” Aira stuttered, clearing his throat. “You say embarrassing things too easily…”
Hiiro cocked his head to the side. “It’s embarrassing? Ah, I really did mean what I said, though.”
“I know, you’re not the type to lie about those things,” Aira said, wiping at his eyes. “Sorry for crying, Hiro-kun. I shouldn’t think about what we can’t have, it just makes me depressed.”
Hiiro shook his head. “It’s fine, I’m glad you were able to get your stress out. And it’s not like you’re the only one who thinks that stuff. I would’ve loved to show you my hometown, to introduce you to my brother.”
Aira huffed, “Idiot, you’ll be able to introduce me when we find him. That’s why you came to the city in the first place, right?”
Hiiro blinked, before nodding. “Umu.” He took Aira’s hand. “Aira, like I said, I do not understand what the city was like before this, but...I would be happy if you explained it to me nonetheless. I want to know about school, about concerts, about karaoke—I want to understand the world you live in.”
Aira looked down again, his heart racing. The only way Hiiro could understand is if he was honest with him. “Hiro-kun, I’m-
The two jumped when they heard voices from outside, and saw Tatsumi and Mayoi by the car, looking for them. “Ah, Tattsun-san and Mayo-san are back…”
“It seems we were inside for a while,” Hiiro said, “Let’s go, before they get too worried.”
Aira nodded, not letting go of Hiiro’s hand even as they left the store. Aira was by no means thankful for their current situation—he could do without having to fight for his life against creatures that looked like they came out of a horror movie, thank you very much. But these circumstances were what allowed him to meet Hiiro—what allowed him to hear the words “I’m happy we met”. Maybe their paths would’ve crossed either way, but this was the way they had crossed, and Aira would have to make do with that. Feelings like these were terrifying, but Aira had no idea how much longer he would have time to be honest with them.
He would make sure to tell him before he was put in a situation where he was forced to.
I’m happy we met, too, Hiro-kun.