Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Honestly, villains were getting more and more idiotic every day.

What happened to the good old days of bombings and robbing banks? Stealing candy from babies?

That just wasn't good enough anymore apparently.

Nope.

Now they had giant rampaging hamsters and legions of spiders and that one very memorable incident with the murderous teddy bear.

And now?

This was just the icing on the cake.

"Demons," Tony deadpanned, staring at Strange as Steve swelled up in righteous fury at the mere thought that someone was summoning demons.

Strange sighed.

"Demons," he answered in the same world-weary tone as Tony.

"Are we going to have to save the idiots who summoned it?" Sam asked in exasperation.

"Depends on their competence," Strange answered. "We'll either find them slaughtered and a demon on the loose or we'll find fanatical people with a demon under their control and determined to bring about the end of days."

"Think he's a demon like 'hot demon' or 'Exorcist demon'?" Clint whispered in the background.

Natasha smiled faintly at the reminder of their tendency to watch shows that Steve highly disapproved of. Both horror movies and mildly controversial shows. He swanned out of the room in disgust whenever their stuff was on. Tony and the spy twins stayed, far too invested in what was on screen to give into Steve's disapproval.

"I know what my hope is," she murmured back with a smirk.

Tony shot them a look but it was ruined by the way his lips tugged up in amusement.

Sam rolled his eyes good-naturedly at them while Bruce looked anxious. Wanda looked bored, no doubt confident in her abilities to take on even a demon. Vision at least looked suitably concerned about the situation.

"Focus," Steve ordered and Tony resisted the urge to roll his eyes. No need to start a fight now.

He looked expectantly at Strange.

"Be prepared for anything," he warned them as he opened a portal to the location.

"Including killer rubber ducks," Tony muttered as they headed through.

"We don't speak of that mission!" Clint howled.

What they found after arriving was definitely not what they expected.

Honestly Tony didn't actually know what he expected. What did demons even look like?

He was sure that Steve had been psyching himself up for the traditional demon from the Bible while the others maybe considered versions from TV shows and movies.

Tony himself was maybe hoping for the hot demon thing along with Clint and Natasha. He could admire a good-looking man and he enjoyed a nice view.

This however… wasn't what he expected.

In the dark, dank basement that they burst into, scaring the shit out of the cultists in the process (always fun), a runic circle glowed enough to light the figure trapped inside.

There was no cliche cursing or threats. No thrashing figure trying to escape or monstrous beast pacing the small area.

No.

There was what looked like a man (hey demon, who knew about genders?) pinned down on their knees to the concrete floor with chains wrapped about their wrists and ankles, blood flowing from many serious-looking injuries littering their body, even if it was somewhat disguised by their dark clothes.

They were gagged and blindfolded, red hair in disarray.

The most eye-catching part of the entire thing was the huge black wings spread out behind them, trapped in heavy chains.

Tony wondered what the others saw. From the set of Steve's jaw and Sam's wary expression, he guessed they saw exactly what they expected.

A threat.

Wanda didn't even give much of her attention to the demon, more focused on studying the magic in the room curiously with Vision close behind her.

No doubt they expected to take out the threat and move on with the arrests after Stephen pronounced it safe to approach.

But unfortunately for them, the rest of the team had been through some shit.

He could see it in the way Natasha's eyes traced the chains cruelly holding the demon in a kneeling position while the chains around their wings held them back from collapsing, pulling their faintly trembling body taut with strain.

He could see it in how Clint clutched his bow tighter as he studied the injuries that seemed to have no purpose other than to cause pain.

He could see it in how Bruce staggered back, gaze locked on the pool of blood and the dark feathers scattered across the floor, ripped out of now ragged-looking wings.

He could see it in the rage that filled Stephen's eyes at the casual display of harm and unnecessary cruelty.

He could feel it in himself. The fury that lit at the sight of someone, anyone, beaten down when they were already helpless and at their captor's mercy.

They had all known that helplessness at some point in their lives. The Red Room. Abusive families. Obsessive generals. Car accidents.

Terrorists and a desert that birthed a hero.

Steve was droning on about something as the cultists were dragged from the room by SHIELD agents. Tony wasn't sure what the man was saying but he doubted he wanted to know by the way Clint’s eyes narrowed and Natasha's gaze cut to the Captain.

Bruce looked to Tony in agony; fear and empathy in his eyes. Tony gave him a slight nod before turning to Stephen. The sorcerer met his eyes after a moment and they had a brief staring match. Eventually, the sorcerer nodded and gestured for him to proceed.

"It's safe to approach," he said, gaining the attention of the room. The demon stiffened slightly in their prison.

"What?" Steve asked but Tony was already moving towards the demon with calm, measured steps. "Tony!"

The inventor waved him off as Stephen began explaining.

"The circle is well made. They knew what they were doing. It binds the demon to it, binds their powers and I believe there's a few secondary spells at work as well."

"Like what?" Natasha asked as Tony drew closer to the circle.

"A compulsion to tell the truth and a compulsion to obey. It looks like they were attempting to bind the demon fully to one of them, to their will. They didn't finish that spell."

Tony didn't need to look to know that Stephen was repulsed by the idea. He didn't need to check that Natasha was incensed by the very concept.

"What are we waiting for?" Wanda demanded. "Let's just finish this up."

"Um, how do we finish this up?" Sam asked cautiously. "Break the circle? Send it back?"

Wanda scoffed. "You break the circle and it's free," she snapped. "We need to kill it."

"How?" Sam asked, oblivious to the tension in the air from the other team members.

Tony reached the demon as Steve answered.

"Holy Water. They've got some over here in this basin. That'll do it and we can move on."

Tony got down on one knee just beyond the circle's border as the demon very clearly reacted to that statement. If possible, they grew even more tense, the shaking now possibly from more than the strain this position was putting on their body.

Up close, Tony noticed more concerning things. The demon's wrists and ankles were badly burned under the chain. There was also a collar around their throat connected to the floor that he hadn't noticed before and the same burns were peeking out from under it. They were breathing shallowly and the only thing keeping them somewhat upright was the grip the other chains had on their wings. Which looked even worse up close, still bleeding where feathers had been violently ripped out.

Studying the incense burners around the circle, Tony wondered if the herbs burning were the reason the demon was breathing so carefully. Almost like every breath hurt.

On closer inspection, he could see that there was black blood mixing in with the red on the floor. Something told him that that wasn't good.

The fabric covering their eyes was tied tightly and they likely couldn't see anything no matter how good their eyesight was.

It was the gag that finally made Tony's breathing hitch.

It was soaked, burns peeking out around the edges. He faintly wondered if it was soaked in Holy Water but that wasn't where his focus was.

The gag covered the demon's mouth and nose. The fabric was wet enough that it had dripped onto the floor.

It must have felt like drowning.

It was memories of terrorists shoving him down into dirty water over and over that made Tony reach out without any more hesitation.

He heard Steve yelling at him but Stephen didn't protest so he ignored the good Captain for now.

The demon flinched away when Tony's fingers made contact with their face, the movement jolting the chains and pulling a pained hiss from them.

"Easy," Tony murmured. "Just taking the gag off."

The demon stilled at the words and Tony carefully worked to untie and then peel the material away from their skin. Tony grimaced at the burns he found underneath, covering everywhere the water had touched. Blisters and open sores covered their cheeks, jaw, nose, lips and Tony could even see some on the inside of their mouth and on their tongue as they gasped in desperate breaths before choking and coughing on the fragrant smoke in the air.

Tony frowned and turned to find Stephen already moving over. His eyes lit up with anger as he took in the state of the coughing demon. Tony offered the material that had been used as a gag up to the sorcerer who scowled after a quick magical scan.

"Diluted Holy Water. Not enough to kill but enough to cause severe pain," he explained

The demon twitched at the new voice but was too busy hacking their lungs up to say anything.

Stephen made a gesture and suddenly his Cloak leapt off his shoulders and flew around, extinguishing the flames burning the herbs.

"Purifying herbs," he explained again, a quick spell clearing the air.

"They were giving me a headache," Tony responded dryly, gaze returning to the demon whose coughing and breathing seemed to slowly get pulled under control again. "Can't imagine how they feel."

"What are you doing?!" Steve burst out in frustration, storming over.

The demon flinched at the sudden shout and hunched in on themselves, unintentionally yanking on their wings and releasing a more clear sound of pain.

"Oh I don't know Cap," Tony snapped. "What do we usually do when we find someone tortured and trapped in the bad guys' lair?"

He kept his gaze on the demon, trusting that Stephen was watching his back.

The demon's panting was quieting down a bit and they tilted their head in a clear sign of listening to the conversation.

Steve spluttered behind him.

"It's-It's a demon!" He yelled.

"Oh I didn't know. Thank you for pointing that out," Stephen deadpanned.

Tony snickered as he reached out again, going for the blindfold this time.

"Taking that thing off your eyes now," he warned so that the demon didn't flinch in surprise this time.

"Tony!"

He ignored Steve again and untied the cloth, pulling it away

A sharp inhale and wary mutters leapt up from some people in the room as snake-like golden eyes were revealed, squinting in the light.

They were clearly so far from human, just from their eyes alone.

"What are you playing at Tony?!" Steve demanded but the genius didn't shift, waiting until those unnatural eyes managed to focus on him.

They were eerie and strange. But far from the strangest thing he'd seen in his life.

Even before giant hamsters, killer rubber ducks and the Hulk were a regular part of his life.

He'd seen weirder things during his party boy days.

"Get away from it Tony!" Steve yelled.

Tony rolled his eyes and glanced back at the fuming super soldier.

"Really Cap? It?" Tony asked, annoyance leaking into his tone as he turned back to the demon who was just watching them all now.

Tony didn't get as far as he did in the business world through luck. He knew how to read people, it was a necessary skill to not get stabbed in the back.

And while, yes, there was anger in those snake-like eyes, (perfectly understandable after a kidnapping and torture session) there was a myriad of other emotions under it that they were clearly trying to hide.

Exhaustion, pain, wariness, fear.

Tony was intimately familiar with all of those emotions.

"Fine!" Steve snapped in exasperation. "Get away from him!"

Tony's brief staring contest with the demon was broken when a weight suddenly flopped on his back, causing him to drop to the concrete with a grunt.

"Seriously Birdbrain?" He complained but Clint ignored him.

"What have we told you about assuming genders?" Clint scolded Steve while Natasha no doubt nodded sagely in the background.

Or not. She might be interrogating the cultists already.

"They're certainly pretty enough for either," Tony agreed readily enough with the archer perching on him.

The demon blinked a couple of times before a soft sound escaped him. It took Tony a moment to realise it was a strained chuckle.

"So?" Clint asked. "What's your preferred pronouns?"

Any faint trace of humour left the demon's face. He grimaced in pain as words were forced past his lips, the movement pulling at the burns and blisters.

"He/him," he answered in a wrecked voice.

Tony absently thought he could hear a hint of a British accent in that raspy, destroyed voice.

Maybe the Holy Water damaged his throat? Talking must hurt like a bitch then.

Before Tony could reassure the demon that he didn't need to talk; Steve opened his big, fat mouth.

"Who are you?" He demanded. "Why are you here?"

Anger flared in those yellow eyes even as he answered, each word seeming like agony.

"My name issss Crowley. And I got ssssummoned you fucking basssstard." There was a strange emphasis to the 's' in his speech.

It didn't take Tony long to figure out what was going on. He jolted upright, sending a squawking Clint tumbling off him.

He clamped his hand over Steve's mouth before he could continue this interrogation.

"Stop it!" He hissed. "Stephen already told us that he's under a compulsion to obey and to tell the truth."

Steve pried his hand away, which was annoyingly easy with his super strength, and glared.

"So then we know we're getting the answers we want," he snapped.

Tony wanted to throttle him. "His face, throat and probably lungs are wrecked from Holy Water Steve!" He yelled. "It's got to be fucking agony to talk in that state!"

"Oh shit," he heard Clint say. "Sorry dude. I didn't think of that."

Steve was still glaring Tony down. "He's a demon," he growled. "He's evil!"

"That's awfully judgy of you. We don't even know the guy," Tony sniped.

"He's a demon!" Steve yelled again.

Tony glanced around the room. Wanda was nodding along to what Steve was saying and Sam looked like he was also agreeing. Meanwhile, Clint looked annoyed, Bruce was getting a little green and Stephen just looked pissed off.

The tension was thick in the air while the demon, Crowley, watched on with wary eyes.

Natasha broke the standoff when she sauntered back in, raising an eyebrow at them all.

"Got information from the cult leader. They summoned him to try and get him to set off the end of the world. He said no."

Everyone paused at that and Tony took the opportunity to step back towards the circle.

"So I'm guessing they tried to convince him," Tony's lip curled in distaste while Natasha nodded.

"I got a list of all the orders they gave him. The compulsion spell doesn't work outside the circle which is why they were preparing the binding."

"What orders did they give?" Stephen asked. "If they were careless then it could possibly cause some trouble."

"Not to attempt to hurt them. Not to struggle or resist. To keep quiet unless spoken to. To manifest his wings. To hold still," she recited.

Tony scowled, sitting down by the circle this time.

"Countering those will be a pain," he muttered.

"Why?" Sam asked in confusion.

"Because he's forced to follow the order to the letter. Say we tell him to talk. Then he can't not talk because it's the order. Or the holding still part or struggling. We tell him to do that, then he won't not do it."

"We can't work in absolutes," Stephen agreed.

Tony shifted so that he was facing Crowley again. Despite the exhaustion and pain in his eyes, the demon was focused sharply on everything happening.

Tony could emphasise with the frustrated helplessness that Crowley must be feeling.

He thought for a moment before speaking slowly.

"Hypothetically speaking," he started. "If I was to tell you that you could speak freely whenever you wanted or chose to and that you weren't required to answer any questions, would that work?"

The demon's eyes widened for a moment before narrowing into a calculating look, likely picking over the words carefully in his head.

Eventually he gave a tentative nod, moving his head as little as possible.

Tony grinned. "Great!" He clapped his hands and repeated what he'd suggested, but phrased as an order this time.

Crowley shuddered slightly and let out a soft sigh of relief. Could he physically feel the compulsions? Tony hated magic. It made no sense.

The genius worked his way down the list of orders carefully until he'd countered all of them without any negative effects.

Crowley practically sagged in his bonds after that, clearly feeling a relief from the removal.

Tony looked to Stephen who already knew what he wanted to ask.

"The truth part is a separate spell. It's tied to the circle and won't release him until he's out," he explained.

Steve exploded.

"We are not letting the demon out of that circle!"

Tony twisted to glare at him. "We are not killing someone who hasn't even done anything yet."

"He's a demon!"

"You sound like a fucking broken record," Tony snapped.

A quiet wheeze drew his attention back to Crowley in time to see him choke back a laugh.

"Best thing to do is ignore him, he's an asshole," Tony told him, carefully avoiding phrasing it like an order.

"Hey! I resent that comment," Clint complained while Natasha handled Steve.

"The bad kind of asshole," Tony rolled his eyes. "You, Stephen and I are the good kind of assholes Legolas."

Clint sniffed haughtily. "That's better."

"Now," Tony studied the problem in front of him. "How to go about getting those chains loose."

"Why?" The rough word caught his attention. The guy was stubborn to still be talking even in his condition.

Tony thought seriously over the question for a moment. He could understand the demon's wariness.

There were many answers to it. Some cheesy, some true, some dumb.

It's what a hero did.

It was the right thing to do.

This wasn't justice, it was brutality.

He had a habit of picking up strays and Crowley kind of checked all the boxes.

In the end though, he went with the simplest, and most honest reason.

"Because I know what it's like to be helpless and have people hurt me for something I refuse to give them."

Crowley's eyes locked on him sharply and it was like time stopped moving for a moment.

There was empathetic understanding in those demonic eyes.

Fuck everyone who said the world was black and white, good and evil.

It was grey. Greyer than the rain clouds that filled the sky outside when they arrived here.

There were so many fucking shades of grey that it was impossible to immediately dump anyone into the 'evil' or 'good' category.

He reached out and carefully lifted one of Crowley's hands, muttering an apology when the demon winced. He politely didn't comment on the wicked claws that tipped the demon's fingers and looked to Stephen.

"They're likely immune to magic to prevent him from escaping," Stephen pointed out.

Tony gave him a deadpan look.

"I know. That's why I want you to get the keys Nat no doubt took from the leader."

Stephen flushed a little and Tony rolled his eyes. He was doing that a lot today.

"It doesn't always need to be a complicated solution," Tony sighed.

"Sssometimesss the sssimplessst is the one they don't plan for," Crowley agreed softly. Tony cocked his head, hearing that strange, almost hissing sound to Crowley's words. Snake-like eyes... hmmm.

"Lockpicking would work too probably," Tony mused as Stephen hurried off to get the keys.

Crowley cracked a pained smile.

"Mossst don't think of it."

"Most are idiots," Tony told him with all the sincerity he could muster.

Crowely snorted.

"Now, hypothetically, why would a summoned demon refuse to help end the world? Keeping in mind that said demon isn't required to answer."

Another weak smile pulled at Crowley's lips.

"A demon that jussst recently stopped Armageddon and would really like a vacation now."

Tony blinked. Blinked again. And then took the answer in stride.

"Valid reason," he agreed lightly.

Stephen finally returned and Tony got started on unlocking the manacles. He practically had to peel the metal off of Crowley since it had burned his skin so badly.

Stephen muttered curses at the reveal of how bad the damage was.

When Crowley's hands were free he instinctively curled them against his chest with a hiss.

The collar was worse than his wrists and pulled a proper cry of pain from the demon when it came off.

But he could sit more upright after that and let out a sigh of relief as some strain was taken off his wings.

After freeing his ankles Tony tackled the feathered appendages next. He was more hesitant and careful here.

Close up Tony could see that his wings were shredded. One might even be dislocated.

This time when the chains came loose, Crowley collapsed forward, wings falling limply at his sides as he gasped for breath.

Tony let out a sigh of relief when it was done but his head snapped up as he heard Nat's alarmed shout.

Steve had got past them and was storming towards the circle with a goblet of water in hand.

Crowley's eyes widened when he caught sight of it and he scrambled backward, wings hitting the invisible barrier of the circle.

Tony got between them to block the irate super soldier.

"Don't do this Steve," he warned.

"Move Tony," Steve demanded.

"No," Tony tilted his chin in defiance. A move he knew pissed Steve off.

He saw the moment Steve's patience snapped as he threw the water high over Tony's head and then threw a punch at Tony.

The water harmlessly hit a golden shield.

Friday controlling the Iron Man armour not so harmlessly hit Steve.

"Warned you," Tony deadpanned.

After Steve had been dragged out, with Wanda and Sam shooed out soon after, Tony sat down by the circle again. Clint, Nat, Bruce and Vision had left as well.

Crowley was calming down somewhat from his panic but it was clear that he'd exacerbated his injuries with his sudden movements.

They needed to get him out of there.

Tony looked expectantly at Stephen who made a frustrated noise as he tried to decipher the runes in the book he'd found.

"It would take me days, weeks, of study to figure these out," he admitted.

Tony looked back at Crowley who was curled in on himself in pain. He doubted the demon could focus enough to guide them through destroying the circle safely.

Apparently, it had a nasty failsafe trap which would backlash on Crowley if the circle was just broken.

A noise drew his focus back to Crowley.

"What was that?" He asked.

"Aziraphale," he panted. "He knowssss how to break it."

Tony already had his phone out. "Got a number for me to call?"

The demon rattled off a phone number which Tony dialed before waiting.

After a bit, the call was picked up.

"A. Z. Fell Books. How may I help you?" A distinctly British and kind sounding voice asked.

"Is this Aziraphale?" Tony asked, noting how Crowley perked up a bit at the name.

There was a slight pause. "Yes, I am," the man answered cautiously. "What is this about?"

"Crowley said you could dismantle the circle he's in safely," Tony decided to be blunt about it. "We've got no clue how to get him out otherwise."

There was a sharp intake of breath over the phone and when he spoke again, Aziraphale sounded far, far from kind and gentle.

"If you've hurt him," he started and Tony hurriedly cut that off.

"We didn't. The crazies who summoned him did. He's in pretty bad shape and needs medical attention."

"Oh no, oh dear, not again," Aziraphale sounded stressed now. "I'll be right there."

Then he hung up. Tony stared at the phone for a moment.

"Wha-"

There was a blinding flash of light and he yelped. When Tony finally blinked the spots out of his eyes, he found a rather stressed-looking blond man wringing his hands standing behind them.

"Crowley!" He cried in horror, racing forward and into the circle without hesitation. He gathered the demon up in his arms carefully while Crowley practically melted against him.

"Angel…" he mumbled into the man's shoulder.

"Oh Crowley, oh no, what did they do to you? Your poor wings! Oh no, and your mouth!" He cupped the demon's face gently and Tony kind of felt like he was intruding.

Stephen cleared his throat, drawing the newcomer's attention. He gestured at the circle.

"Oh! Yes, of course," Aziraphale exclaimed.

He snapped his fingers and the circle snuffed out like it had never existed.

Crowley went properly limp in Aziraphale's arms then. The kind-looking man ran a soothing hand through the demon's red hair, still murmuring reassurances. Crowley let out a muffled hum of contentment.

Now Tony definitely felt like he was intruding. That was about the time Aziraphale remembered they were there. And that he didn't know what had happened.

He eyed them warily, his hold on Crowley clearly protective.

"Who are you?" He asked.

Well, that was a question Tony didn't get often anymore.

"Tony Stark. This is Stephen Strange."

He ignored Stephen's muttered "Doctor."

"We came here to stop the cultists that summoned him. Since Crowley is basically a kidnapping victim, we tried to figure out how to get him free. He told me to call you."

"Where are they?" Aziraphale demanded with narrowed eyes.

Crowley made a quiet sound of protest but his friend ignored him.

"Currently being arrested for using forbidden magic," Stephen answered. "Summoning demons is strictly banned worldwide among magic users."

"I'd hope so," Tony added. "Kidnapping is illegal."

Aziraphale didn’t look completely satisfied but he grudgingly nodded.

Before they could say anything more, the door slammed open and Steve rushed in, shield in hand.

Then Steve promptly dropped out of sight and into a portal which closed neatly after him.

“How long are you going to let him fall?” Tony asked.

“I’ll let him out when I feel like it,” Stephen answered sullenly before sweeping out of the room.

Tony looked back at the pair sitting where the destroyed circle used to be.

“Well, this has been a day,” he declared. “I don’t know what kind but it’s been a day.” It was silent for a moment. “At least there were no fire-breathing bunnies.”

“WE DON’T SPEAK OF THAT MISSION!” Clint howled from beyond the door.

“IF WE LISTENED TO YOU WE’D NEVER SPEAK OF ANY MISSION!” Tony yelled back.

He faced the demon and (angel? Seemed to fit, he seemed very… good. Like the kind of guy who’d get away with a prank and never be blamed for it. Like Rhodey. So definitely an angel then) and gestured vaguely. “I assume that you’ll take care of him from here?”

Aziraphale nodded solemnly like he’d just been given a huge responsibility and honour. Definitely like Rhodey. Definitely an angel.

“Well, then don’t let me keep you. Nice meeting you Crowley, wish it was under better circumstances.”

Crowley lifted his hand in a slight wave of acknowledgment.

Tony rocked on his heels for a moment. “Well, bye. I’ve got to go tell Rhodey that an angel and demon are fucking. This might break him.”

Aziraphale turned tomato red and spluttered incoherently while Crowley started wheezing with laughter again.

“Maybe I’ll see you guys around?” Tony called cheerfully over his shoulder. “Just avoid Cap for a bit. He can hold one hell of a grudge.”

With that, he sauntered out of the room to find Rhodey. His friend was going to have a shit fit over this.

Chapter Text

Summonings were very rarely 'pleasant'.

If Crowley ever got his hands on the little bastard that decided to give humans the knowledge to summon demons… he'd probably do something Aziraphale would pout at him for.

Then again, the summonings had long since stressed his angel out as well. Ever since the first time he found out about them, stumbling upon Crowley trapped in a circle as humans demanded riches and glory.

The angel had not been happy that night. Not in the least. 

Since then, if Crowley went missing for too long when he really should have been up to his tempting mischief, Aziraphale would get worried and go looking for him.

Like when those assassins wanted someone killed.

Like when those nobles trapped him as an exotic pet.

Like when exorcism after exorcism was attempted (only resulting in him being painfully discorporated if Aziraphale didn't realise in time).

Summoning after summoning, eventually, Aziraphale would realise that something was wrong and appear to help him. He got so very upset if Crowley discorporated before he got there.

He did wonder if this time would be different. He'd only seen his angel mere days ago and, while they spent time together far more often now that Heaven and Hell weren't watching, it would still take a few more days for Aziraphale to notice something amiss.

And Crowley wasn't sure if he had a few more days…

The blessed chains holding him in place burned; an endless, inescapable agony.

His wings ached almost as badly as they had after his fall.

There wasn't a single part of his body that didn't hurt, from the strain of the position he was stuck in or from injuries inflicted with blessed weapons.

And then there was his mouth, tongue, throat, lungs. It burned, the Holy Water soaked into the cloth gagging him burned him down to his True Form. He barely noticed the Purifying herbs over that. They were a minor annoyance compared to that inferno.

He was blindfolded, supernatural senses cut off by the circle, only able to focus on the absolute agony he was existing in.

On top of the physical bonds and pain, the compulsions they'd laid on him weighed heavily, caging him in further.

He was entirely at these humans' mercy and he hated it.

Voices rose up around him and he absently wondered if they were going to try their demands again. 

It was pointless. 

It didn't matter what they put him through, he'd never help with Earth's destruction.

Aziraphale was on Earth. Aziraphale loved Earth.

That was enough incentive for him to keep holding on.

He couldn't help the worry though. If he discorporated now…. Getting a new body would be nowhere as easy as it had been in the past. Hell wasn't happy with him right now after all.

A sudden, loud noise cut through his thoughts and Crowley was overwhelmed by the sound of panicked screaming.

As much as he hoped it was, he knew it wasn't Aziraphale. The circle wouldn't block his angelic essence and Crowley would be able to sense it.

No, something else was here, causing panic and fear among his summoners.

What now?

It was difficult to focus on anything even when the screaming died down. The sounds of a struggle faded and the room fell silent.

Crowley wasn't fooled though. He knew there were still people there.

Someone started droning on about something and Crowley was admittedly reminded of Gabriel. Which was not a good thing. Suddenly another voice, clear and ringing with magic, stated that it was safe to approach.

Crowley tensed as he heard soft footsteps approach, barely aware of the sharp bolts of pain the minute movement sent up his spine from his wings.

What the fuck was happening now?

He wished he could see.

Gabriel 2.0 yelled something while Magic Man launched into an explanation about the circle.

That meant the others here didn't know how it worked beforehand…

Other voices piped up. Whiny Brat demanded they finish this quickly.

A tone that could only belong to a shrink asked how they were finishing this.

Someone stopped in front of him just as Gabriel 2.0 brought up Holy Water.

Shit. Fuck. This was not good.

He was so abruptly panicked at the thought of the Holy Water that he barely noticed Gabriel 2.0 yelling something again.

Then fingers brushed over his cheek, causing him to flinch back, agony shooting through his body like electricity at the movement.

"Easy, just taking the gag off," a new voice murmured softly and Crowley stilled. He didn't get that gentle tone directed at him. Not unless Aziraphale was talking and this wasn't Aziraphale.

The human carefully worked at pulling the gag free from Crowley's mouth and he made the mistake of gasping for air the moment its stifling, burning presence was gone.

The purifying smoke poured into his lungs which he promptly tried to hack up.

Bad idea. Stupid idea.

He registered Magic Man speaking much closer than before but couldn't focus on anything but the burning in his chest.

And then suddenly it was gone and he was breathing clean, if slightly musty air.

Gabriel 2.0 yelled (Crowley was sensing a pattern here) and the demon unintentionally flinched again. That brought a new wave of agony to his body.

"Oh I don't know Cap," the nice voice snapped. "What do we usually do when we find someone tortured and trapped in the bad guys' lair?"

Oh. Oh Crowley kind of liked him now. He was a Snarky Bastard.

"It-Its a demon!" Gabriel 2.0 spluttered.

If Crowley wasn't struck temporarily mute thanks to the compulsions he would have happily offered the required "No, duh" that that statement deserved.

"Oh I didn't know. Thank you for pointing that out," Magic Man deadpanned.

Huh, Crowley kind of liked him too.

Snarky Bastard snickered.

"Taking that thing off your eyes now," he said after a moment and seconds later the blindfold was being pulled away.

Crowley squinted in the light as his eyes struggled to adjust after so long in the dark. He could hear gasps and mutterings around the room but he was used to that reaction when humans saw his eyes.

Didn't mean he liked it. He wished for his sunglasses fervently as his gaze focused on the human in front of him.

He looked kind of familiar. Crowley was sure he'd seen the guy before.

"What are you playing at Tony?!" Gabriel 2.0 (oh he even looked just as self-righteous as that peacock) demanded, glaring at who Crowley assumed was Snarky Bastard. Now revealed as Tony.

The human was still watching him. Strangely enough, Crowley didn't feel gawked at. He felt studied, and not in the lab rat way either.

The human was curious and Crowley was shocked at the lack of fear in his brown eyes.

And maybe a bit intrigued too.

"Get away from it Tony!" Gabriel 2.0 shouted, sounding both panicked and angry.

Tony gave a truly impressive, exasperated eye roll. Crowley was a master of that move and he was honestly impressed.

"Really Cap? It?" He asked, sounding so done with the man Crowley almost felt like smiling. Tony turned back to the demon and the feeling of being studied, of being puzzled out, returned.

"Fine!" 'Cap' (nah Crowley liked Gabriel 2.0 better) yelled. "Get away from him!"

Tony's eye contact with Crowley was broken when he was flattened into the concrete by another man jumping on him. This one looked just as curious but didn't have the same intense stare as Tony.

"Seriously Birdbrain?" his definite favourite of these humans huffed in annoyance.

"What have we told you about assuming genders?" Birdbrain scolded Gabriel 2.0.

He had a point. Angels and demons picked whichever gender (one, both or neither) they felt like. Just because this guy had got it right this time didn't mean he should go around assuming. It was a fifty-fifty chance of guessing right.

Now Crowley felt offended.

"They're certainly pretty enough for either," Tony declared.

The statement was so unexpected that it managed to draw a strained chuckle from Crowley.

Tony grinned up at him from where he was stuck on the floor, looking honestly delighted to have made him laugh.

All amusement left him when Birdbrain asked him about his pronouns. The answer was dragged out of his burning throat by the compulsions, agony on every breath as the 's' drew out in every word, his serpent side rising to the surface in response to the fear and pain.

Then Gabriel 2.0 was demanding answers, answers Crowley was forced to give and it hurt and he was scared and mad and-

Tony was suddenly up and stopping the bastard, fury lining every inch of his body. There was an argument but Crowley couldn't really focus on it. He was just trying to breathe through his scorched throat.

He became aware of everything again to find everyone in some kind of standoff.

Soon enough a redhead interrupted with news from the interrogation that had apparently happened with the cultists. He didn't really listen to Red, her voice and the voices of the others rolling over him as he got lost in the burn in his body again.

He was drawn back when Tony sat down in front of him again.

"Countering those will be a pain," he muttered.

Crowley blinked. What?

"Why?" Shrink asked in confusion.

"Because he's forced to follow the order to the letter. Say we tell him to talk. Then he can't not talk because it's the order. Or the holding still part or struggling. We tell him to do that, then he won't not do it."

Well, Crowley was again impressed. Tony understood the dangers that came with compulsions very easily.

"We can't work in absolutes," Stephen agreed.

Tony lapsed into silence as he thought for a moment.

"Hypothetically speaking," he started speaking slowly. "If I was to tell you that you could speak freely whenever you wanted or chose to and that you weren't required to answer any questions, would that work?"

Crowley felt his eyes widen and his mind latched onto the possible solution. It was good. Pretty simple with no room for loopholes.

Tentatively, he nodded, feeling the collar flare around his throat at the movement.

Tony lit up and to Crowley's astonishment, started to unravel the compulsions wrapped tightly around him. Every time one was removed it felt easier to breathe, he felt less trapped, a tiny bit less helpless.

When his True Form was finally free of all those constricting threads he was feeling a little more himself and Tony was looking pretty smug.

There was a brief exchange of words before Gabriel 2.0 exploded. Crowley was too spent to flinch this time.

"He's a demon!"

Crowley thought they'd already covered this part.

"You sound like a fucking broken record," Tony snapped.

A laugh bubbled up and escaped Crowley's aching throat in a wheeze.

Tony turned back to face him.

"Best thing to do is ignore him, he's an asshole," he informed Crowley, neatly skipping around making anything sound like an order.

Hey! I resent that comment," Birdbrain complained.

"The bad kind of asshole," Tony rolled his eyes. "You, Stephen and I are the good kind of assholes Legolas."

Birdbrain sniffed haughtily. "That's better."

Oh, they knew the different flavours of bastards. That was good. Aziraphale was the best kind of bastard and this Gabriel 2.0 guy wasn't even close to that streak of bastardness.

He was just an asshole.

"Now," Tony studied the demon in front of him. "How to go about getting those chains loose."

"Why?" Crowley forced the word out. It hurt, but he needed to know.

Nothing was ever free. Nobody helped a demon for free.

Except Aziraphale.

But that was because of who Aziraphale was. He was Crowley's angel, the only one who'd ever been able to look past his demonic status long enough to offer some kindness. 

This human had no reason to help him. At least not one that Crowley could see.

So why?

He could practically see Tony thinking of answers and discarding them just as fast.

Eventually, he answered.

"Because I know what it's like to be helpless and have people hurt me for something I refuse to give them."

Oh.

Oh, he didn't expect that. Demons didn't end up on the receiving end of genuine empathy very often. It was a rather foreign feeling.

Somehow, he felt that this human understood his helpless frustration to a personal degree. In a way not even Aziraphale could.

The angel had never suffered through a summoning (thank someone for that) and even though he had been with Crowley in the aftermath of many summonings, he couldn't understand the bone-deep fear this kind of helplessness brought.

Bound and completely at someone else's mercy.

And yet someone did understand. This human did.

It was… nice. To realise that he might actually have a proper ally here.

Tony reached out and this time Crowley didn't feel the urge to flinch away, letting him carefully lift the demon's hand. Crowley winced as the manacles shifted and the burning flared up again.

"They're likely immune to magic to prevent him from escaping," Magic Man pointed out, making Crowley realise that Tony was looking at the guy expectantly.

Tony gave him a truly impressive deadpan look.

"I know. That's why I want you to get the keys Nat no doubt took from the leader."

Magic Man flushed a little and Tony rolled his eyes.

"It doesn't always need to be a complicated solution," Tony sighed with the air of a long-suffering man.

"Sssometimesss the sssimplessst is the one they don't plan for," Crowley agreed softly, trying to ignore how much his throat hurt. At least it wasn't completely agonising as long as he kept his voice down. He couldn't control the hiss that still curled around his words though. Too much pain, too exhausted.

Tony cocked his head, eyes curious but not commenting on whatever he'd noticed.

"Lockpicking would work too probably," Tony mused as Magic Man hurried off to get the keys.

Crowley cracked a pained smile at the words.

"Mossst don't think of it," he rasped.

With the sudden prospect of getting free of the chains he was even more aware of the agony wrapped around his body.

"Most are idiots," Tony told him with total sincerity.

Crowely snorted. It hurt, but it felt good to laugh, even a little.

"Now, hypothetically, why would a summoned demon refuse to help end the world? Keeping in mind that said demon isn't required to answer," Tony asked, curiosity and a need for answers burning in his eyes.

That, Crowley could relate to, and another weak smile pulled at his lips.

"A demon that jussst recently stopped Armageddon and would really like a vacation now."

Seriously, could he catch a break? He and Aziraphale had just survived their respective executions recently. He just wanted to stay in the bookshop cuddling with his angel for a month.

Maybe two after this.

Tony blinked. Blinked again. And then accepted the answer like it wasn't completely insane sounding.

"Valid reason," he agreed lightly.

Magic Man returned with the keys and Tony got to work, starting on Crowley's wrists. The demon bit back the sounds of pain as the blessed metal was peeled away from his burnt skin.

Fuck but that hurt. Tony shot him an apologetic look while Magic Man was muttering curses to himself as more damage was revealed.

When his hands were free, Crowley pulled them back to cradle them against his chest. His stiff muscles complained but it felt good to move them from their outstretched position.

Tony moved to work on the collar next and despite his best efforts Crowley couldn't hold back the cry of pain when it came off.

After a moment he slowly straightened up a bit and the relief of lessening the strain on his wings almost made him sob.

He barely noticed as his ankles were released but he definitely noticed when Tony reached his wings.

His touch was a lot more careful and slow now, working at the chains slowly as he tried to avoid brushing against any of the many, many injuries littering his wings.

When the chains finally hit the ground with a thunk though, he realised he had no energy to keep himself upright and he collapsed forwards. It hurt as it jarred his body but the relief from his wings being free was so overwhelming he didn't care.

His first instinct was to put them away in the ethereal plane but considering he was sure the right one was dislocated, that was probably a supremely bad idea right now.

So, for the moment, he just breathed through the pain and dizzying relief.

He faintly heard an alarmed shout and tiredly lifted his eyes to find a livid Gabriel 2.0 bearing down on him, Holy Water in hand.

Fear shot through him and Crowley scrambled back until his wings painfully hit the circle's barrier. There was nowhere to escape to.

Fuck fuck fuck!

And then Tony was between him and the guy and Crowley panicked for a different reason. This guy had that 'take out anyone in his way' look and he kind of liked Tony now.

"Don't do this Steve," Tony warned.

"Move Tony," Gabriel 2.0 demanded. Apparently named Steve. Crowley was too panicked to make a judgement on the name.

"No," Tony tilted his chin in defiance, causing a vein to throb in Steve's forehead.

It seemed to happen in slow motion. Steve threw the water high over Tony's head and then threw a punch at the man who didn't move.

Crowley automatically flinched back, crushing his wings against the barrier. The water never hit him though. It harmlessly impacted a golden shield that surrounded the circle.

The water vanished from the floor with a wave of Magic Man's hand.

And then a robot slammed into Steve and punched him into a wall.

"Warned you," Tony deadpanned.

If Crowley wasn't in as much pain as he was, he might have laughed hysterically at the unimpressed tone in the human's voice.

After that, things got a bit fuzzy. His wings had flared back to full agony and he was struggling to keep his panic under control after the close call with the Holy Water.

He just wanted to go home dammit. He just wanted a bit of peace.

He could hear Tony and Magic Man talking, caught snatches of the conversation and managed to put together that they were trying to figure out how to dismantle the circle.

The other humans had all left the room and it was quiet at last.

"Angel," he breathed, wishing Aziraphale was here. With his powers bound he couldn't do anything to contact him though.

"What was that?" Tony asked.

"Aziraphale," he panted, the name uncomfortably close to a plea. "He knowssss how to break it."

Tony pulled his phone out. "Got a number for me to call?"

Crowley forced the long since memorised number past his aching throat and dazedly watched as Tony waited for the call to be answered.

"Is this Aziraphale?" Tony asked after a moment and Crowley shifted, wishing he could hear the angel instead of one half of the conversation.

"Crowley said you could dismantle the circle he's in safely," Tony explained honestly. "We've got no clue how to get him out otherwise."

The human startled and then hurriedly cut Aziraphale off.

"We didn't. The crazies who summoned him did. He's in pretty bad shape and needs medical attention."

And, in Crowley's personal opinion, a really long fucking nap.

Tony pulled the phone away from his ear and stared at it in bewilderment.

"Wha-"

There was a blinding flash of light and then Aziraphale was there. Stressed, worried and angry. 

Crowley could have sobbed from relief.

"Crowley!" He cried out in horror and shot over to the demon's side before he could even think about trying to push himself up.

Gentle, familiar hands gathered him carefully to the angel's chest and Crowley melted against him.

"Angel," he breathed, feeling the tension finally fade from his body.

He pressed his face into Aziraphale's shoulder and just basked in the feeling of being safe.

He heard his angel fretting and felt his hand lightly brushing against his wings before cupping his cheek but he couldn't focus on the words.

And then the binding from that blessed circle just vanished and Crowley went boneless, his powers slamming back into him.

The circle was gone, Aziraphale was here, it was all fine now.

A hand brushed through his hair and he leaned into the contact, slowly focusing back on the sound of voices around him.

"Who are you?" Aziraphale asked suspiciously, grip gentle but protective around the demon.

"Tony Stark. This is Stephen Strange," Tony introduced. 

Rather late introduction that.

Magic Man, or Stephen, muttered something Crowley couldn't catch. 

"We came here to stop the cultists that summoned him. Since Crowley is basically a kidnapping victim, we tried to figure out how to get him free. He told me to call you."

Admittedly this was the first time a summoning had been compared to a kidnapping in Crowley's experience. Accurate though. He tiredly closed his eyes and let his angel handle this.

"Where are they?" Aziraphale demanded, anger leaking into his voice.

Crowley mumbled a protest but was ignored.

Rude.

"Currently being arrested for using forbidden magic," Stephen answered. "Summoning demons is strictly banned worldwide among magic users."

Huh, he hadn't known that. Explained the decrease in summonings though.

"I'd hope so," Tony added. "Kidnapping is illegal."

Tony really seemed to have a thing against kidnappings.

He knew Aziraphale wasn't fully satisfied, wanting to enact his own justice no doubt, but he begrudgingly nodded.

Great, now they could go ho-

The door slammed open and Gabriel 2.0 came charging into the room, some strange shield in his hand. Crowley tensed up again and felt Aziraphale getting ready to miracle the guy away.

Then he dropped through the floor. 

Crowley blinked in surprise and confusion as a portal closed behind him.

"How long are you going to let him fall?” Tony asked blandly.

“I’ll let him out when I feel like it,” Stephen answered sullenly before sweeping out of the room with flair.

Tony looked back at the angel and demon pair sitting where the destroyed circle used to be.

“Well, this has been a day,” he declared. “I don’t know what kind but it’s been a day.” He paused. "At least there were no fire-breathing bunnies.”

What?

“WE DON’T SPEAK OF THAT MISSION!” Birdbrain howled from beyond the door.

“IF WE LISTENED TO YOU WE’D NEVER SPEAK OF ANY MISSION!” Tony yelled back.

What? Oh nevermind. He was too exhausted to really care.

Tony gestured vaguely at them both. “I assume that you’ll take care of him from here?” he asked Aziraphale.

Ridiculous question, Aziraphale always took care of him.

“Well, then don’t let me keep you. Nice meeting you Crowley, wish it was under better circumstances.”

Crowley lifted his hand in a vague wave of acknowledgment. He liked the human. Maybe he should pop by when he was feeling less shitty. He owed the guy after all.

Tony rocked on his heels for a moment, a mischievous sparkle lighting in his eyes. “Well, bye. I’ve got to go tell Rhodey that an angel and demon are fucking. This might break him.”

Aziraphale choked and spluttered incoherently while Crowley started wheezing with laughter again.

Oh this guy was brilliant. He was definitely planning a visit in the future.

“Maybe I’ll see you guys around?” Tony called cheerfully over his shoulder as he turned to leave. “Just avoid Cap for a bit. He can hold one hell of a grudge.”

Crowley could believe that.

With that, Tony sauntered out of the room. Aziraphale was still spluttering above him and Crowley reached up a shaky hand to cup his cheek. Immediately Aziraphale covered the demon's hand with his own and looked down.

"Crowley," he whispered. "Oh, I'm so sorry love. I didn't realise you'd been summoned again."

Crowley shook his head. "Not your fault," he rasped.

Aziraphale hushed him, fingers running through his hair again. Crowley's eyes slid closed very much against his will.

"Let's go home love," Aziraphale murmured. He slid an arm under the demon's knees while keeping the other wrapped around his back, under his wings, before standing up.

Crowley couldn't help the whimper of pain that slipped free at the jostling but he quieted when Aziraphale murmured reassurances again.

Beautiful white wings spread out to either side of the angel and wrapped around them both, burying Crowley in soft, warm feathers.

Safe.

Safe.

He finally let himself pass out.

Crowley came to slowly, well aware of the ache still present in his body but also aware of the warm blanket over him and the soft surface under him.

And very very aware of the soft angelic presence beside him.

He automatically turned to the angel, already reaching out while his eyes were still opening.

Aziraphale's warm hand caught his.

"Easy love," the angel murmured. "You know healing takes a lot out of the body."

Crowley gave a vague hum, noticing that the sound didn't tear at his throat like before.

He experimentally moved his mouth and inhaled deeply. There was a sting in his throat and lungs but that was about it.

"You can't heal Holy Water injuries that quickly Angel," Crowley murmured, his voice much less ragged sounding. "How long was I asleep?"

"Twenty-seven days," Aziraphale admitted, carding his fingers through the demon's red hair. "You were in a frightful state my dear. Your body needed the rest to heal. Your True Form took some injuries as well."

Crowley let his eyes drift closed for a moment.

"Ssssorry," he mumbled. "Know you were worried."

"I was. But I was also glad you were healing."

Crowley opened his eyes again and gave the angel a weak smirk.

"What'sss the damage?"

Aziraphale pursed his lips in mild annoyance at the casualness of the question but he answered. 

"The cuts from the blessed weapons and the burns from the Holy Water are healing slowly but they're getting there. I've taken care of your wings, the feathers just need some time to grow in again. And take it easy on the right wing for a bit. It was badly dislocated."

Crowley nodded,  he could feel his wings behind him, still manifested and positioned so they didn't get hurt.

Overall he probably looked like a mummy with all the bandages around him.

"Tell me what happened?" Aziraphale requested gently.

Crowley swallowed before starting the story. Beginning from when the summoning magic yanked him out of a coffee shop to the moment Aziraphale arrived.

"So they really did just help you? No hidden cost?" He asked, relief in his voice.

Crowley shook his head. "Well sssome of them. That Sssteve guy that remindsss me of Gabriel was pretty ssset on killing me. The others ssstopped him though." He was annoyed that he hadn't got a handle on his hissing yet, the 's' sound still stretching much longer than he meant it to.

Aziraphake wrinkled his nose. "He reminds you of Gabriel?"

"He'sss Gabriel 2.0," Crowley smirked when Aziraphale snorted in amusement.

"Mossst of them were sssurprisingly in favour of letting me go," he admitted.

Somehow, the angel had migrated from his chair to the bed and Crowley happily rolled over to rest his head in Aziraphale's lap.

"Some odd humans," Aziraphale admitted. "I did some research. Remember when those superheroes started popping up, mostly in America?"

"The onesss that our Head 0fficesss told usss to ignore for the mossst part?" Crowley checked.

"Yes. It was the main group that helped you. The Avengers. They were one of the first teams to appear. They were working with that Mystical Order that we were warned about staying away from."

Crowley absorbed that information. "Huh, no wonder that guy looked familiar. Mussst have ssseen him on TV, but never paid any attention."

A contemplative silence fell over them for a moment.

"What did the summoners want this time dear?" Aziraphale asked tentatively.

Crowley stared at the opposite wall, luxuriating in the feeling of safety that he always got around his angel.

"Armageddon," he finally answered.

"0h."

"Yeah."

"They are a bit behind on the times aren't they?"

"They didn't appreciate it when I told them that."

"Oh Crowley you silly serpent. You need to stop talking yourself into so much trouble."

"Hey, trouble findsss me Angel," his complaint was cut off when Aziraphale leaned down to press his lips to the demon's. It was a chaste kiss but every kiss with his angel left Crowley breathless.

"I'm glad you're alright," Aziraphale whispered.

"Me too," Crowley admitted. "Got a bit worried there. I owe Tony. He wasss the one mossstly helping."

"We owe him," Aziraphale corrected gently.  "We're a team. Our own side, remember?"

Crowley didn't try and hide the beaming smile those words pulled from him. He didn't care that it pulled at his sensitive lips.

"Our ssside," he agreed quietly.

The words never failed to warm him.

Chapter Text

Aziraphale waited until he was sure that Crowley was deeply asleep before getting ready for his outing. He hadn't dared to go until the demon had woken up but now that he was sure Crowley was well on the way to recovery, he had someone to visit.

Laying some protective wards down over the room to add to the ones already on the bookshop, the angel brushed his fingers through Crowley's soft hair one more time before stepping back.

He snapped his fingers and vanished from the room.

A long way from Soho, in a modern penthouse overlooking New York, Tony Stark looked up in surprise when Friday informed him that he had a visitor.

"Who is it Fri?" He asked. If it was Steve here to lecture him on 'letting the evil demon go' again he was going to throw the good captain off his tower.

"It appears to be the angel from that mission a while back Boss.  He is asking if you have time to meet with him."

Tony blinked in surprise. Honestly he hadn't expected to see either of those two again. They seemed like the type to keep to themselves.

He couldn't deny that he was curious though. And he wanted to know if Crowley was recovering alright. It had been almost a month since it all happened.

"Tell him I'll be right there," he told his AI, setting down his tools and stretching. He'd been in the lab for a while now. A walk around would probably be good for his back.

He made his way to the living room where Friday said the angel was waiting.

Aziraphale was standing awkwardly by the windows, hands clasped together in front of him.

He looked so damn normal. If Tony hadn't seen those gentle blue eyes glint with genuine righteous anger, he would doubt his own conclusion over what the man was.

"Aziraphale right?" Tony called when the angel's eyes landed on him. He looked nervous for some reason.

"Um, yes, that's me, " he answered. "I'm terribly sorry to drop in on you unannounced like this Mr. Stark but I really did need to speak with you. I didn't realise it was two in the morning in America."

Tony waved his apology off. "It's no problem. I don't keep a regular sleep schedule."

"You sleep Boss?" Friday snarked. 

"Where did you learn that sass?" Tony demanded as he walked to the bar. He looked back at the angel. "And it's just Tony. No need to be formal. Want a drink?"

"Oh Someone yes," Aziraphale muttered, following him to the bar. "Do you have wine?"

"Do I have wine? What a question," Tony smirked as he pulled a nice bottle out of the cabinet. He wouldn't usually open it for a social visit but drinking with an angel seemed like a special occasion.

Aziraphale accepted the glass gratefully.

They sipped at their drinks for a moment before the angel spoke again.

“I wanted to thank you,” he admitted. “You undoubtedly saved Crowley from a horrible fate. Freeing a demon from the sort of binding they were planning is terribly difficult.”

From the tone of his voice, Tony had a feeling that Aziraphale knew this from experience.

“There’s no need to thank me. It’s what I do.” He crossed his arms and leaned against the bar. “Why do I get the feeling that this happens more often than I initially thought?”

Aziraphale tightened his grip on his glass slightly. “It’s a much rarer occurrence now than it used to be. But it does happen far too often.”

“I’d say once is too often,” Tony muttered dryly, drawing a wobbly smile from the guy.

“Quite,” he agreed softly.

“So, are they always that bad?” Tony asked in concern.

Aziraphale gazed out of the floor-to-ceiling windows as he answered. “Not always. Sometimes Crowley escapes on his own. Sometimes they’re incompetent. Sometimes it’s civil. Sometimes it’s like the last one…. And sometimes it’s worse.”

The silence was heavier when it fell this time. Tony didn’t want to try and think of how things could be worse than what he’d seen after entering that cellar almost a month ago.

“How’s he doing?” he asked after a moment.

“Oh, he’s much better.” Aziraphale seemed to perk up a bit at the question. “He’s been sleeping so all that energy went into healing. It shouldn’t be more than a week before he’s up and terrorising his plants again.”

His… plants? Ah whatever, to each their own.

“That’s good to hear.” He took another sip of wine. “I’m gonna rub that fact in Steve’s face next time he annoys me.”

A peculiar expression crossed the angel’s face.

“Was Steve the one who came rushing in there at the end?”

“Yup. Stubborn and self-righteous. Not a good combo. He’s been on my ass about ‘letting the evil demon go’.” Tony rolled his eyes as he quoted the man.

“Oh dear, I’m sorry if this is causing you problems,” Aziraphale fretted.

Tony waved it off. “Nah. He’s always on my ass about something. And most of the team is on my side in this so he can’t actually do much. Crowley was the victim in that mess, plain and simple.”

“You’d be one of the few to say that,” the angel sighed, looking morosely at his wine.

Tony shrugged. “I’m the last person to judge a book by its cover. So what if he’s a demon? World’s not black and white.”

“That’s very true,” Aziraphale agreed.

A few more seconds of silence was as long as Tony could go before he broke.

“Okay but I’ve gotta know something,” he exhaled sharply. “Angels? Demons? All that shit is real?”

The angel gave him an unimpressed look for the swear but it felt very different to Steve’s condescending ‘language!’

He seemed to think for a moment. “Would you consider yourself a religious man Tony?” he finally asked.

Tony shook his head. “No. I’m an atheist. Have been for a long time. Mom was a Catholic though. I learned most of what I do know from her.”

“So you don’t believe in a higher power?” Aziraphale didn’t sound offended, merely curious.

Instead of the usual brash comment he’d throw out to piss off Steve, Tony answered honestly.

“Not quite. I just… I’m a scientist Aziraphale. Down to my bones. It’s who I am. I live and breathe scientific theories and proven fact the same way Stephen whole-heartedly believes in his magic and mission. The same way a priest finds peace in his devotion. I don’t look down on others for their faith. I just know it’s not for me.”

The angel smiled slightly at the answer. “You seem quite open to my existence despite that.”

“Well, I saw you. I saw Crowley and the magic and the wings. Evidence is what I value in the end. The evidence points to you and Crowley being at the very least similar to what I know about angels and demons. But I’ve seen some shit in the last few years Aziraphale. I’ve fought against, and alongside, Norse Gods. I’ve battled aliens and robots infected by a homicidal, sentient rock. I know that I don’t know everything.”

“But you want to,” the angel’s mouth quirked up slightly.

“I’m a scientist,” Tony repeated. “We always want to know. No matter the trouble it gets us into.”

Aziraphale chuckled softly. “Oh Crowley will like you quite a bit I believe,” he mused. “He does so love it when humanity is curious, when they reach for more knowledge.” He seemed to think for a moment before speaking again. “I suppose the answer to your question is both yes and no. In the general sense, what you know is true. There are angels and demons. There’s a Heaven and a Hell. There’s the Almighty.”

“I’m sensing a but,” Tony prompted when he paused.

“But in the more specific sense, everything you know is also wrong. Our Mother,” Tony raised his eyebrows in mild surprise at that revelation. “She’s left us to our own devices, our own ‘free will’ for a while now. However, angels and demons didn’t take to it quite as well as humanity did.” He gave Tony a wane smile. “I suppose you could compare the two sides to a business. Both have head offices which send angels and demons on missions to sway human souls one way or the other.”

Tony looked abruptly horrified. “There’s bureaucracy in Heaven? I thought that would be a purely Hell thing! What about board meetings, tell me those are at least reserved for the fiery pits?” he whined.

Aziraphale gave him an apologetic look. “They happen every Wednesday Upstairs last I heard.”

Tony let out a soft, pained whine in response before catching his wording.

“Last you heard?”

“Oh, Crowley and I are… well I suppose the best word for it is retired? We had an, um, falling out as it were, with our respective head offices.”

It didn’t take Tony long to put the pieces together.

“This doesn’t have anything to do with the almost-Armageddon that Crowley mentioned does it?”

Aziraphale looked away in embarrassment.

“They were rather looking forward to the End of Days. They weren’t very happy with us.”

Tony gave a disbelieving laugh. “So, what? You got fired?”

“Well, it was more an attempt at an execution than anything else,” the angel admitted.

“Sorry wait what?” Tony blinked rapidly at him.

“They didn’t like that we ended up disobeying orders so they tried to get rid of us. Obviously, that didn’t work so they seem to be leaving us alone for the time being.”

Tony cocked his head. “That’s what Crowley meant by hoping to get a vacation.”

Aziraphale nodded with a sigh. “Yes. We were rather hoping for some peace.”

“And then some idiot cultists fucked it up,” Tony finished sympathetically.

Looking closely he could tell that the poor guy looked exhausted. He was probably stressed out about something happening to his significant other again.

Aziraphale shifted uncomfortably. “If you don’t mind, may I ask you a question?”

“Shoot,” Tony gestured in a vague ‘go ahead’ motion.

The angel hesitated for a moment again. “How did you come across Crowley and that terrible situation?"

"Oh, Stephen and his magic order picked up that the ritual was going to happen. It was a big cult though so they asked for some backup.”

“So your friend is able to tell when a summoning is happening?” Aziraphale asked hopefully.

Tony hated to be the reason that his hopeful expression was crushed.

“Not exactly. They figured it out through capturing one of the cultists. It was all pretty much luck that we found out.”

“Oh,” Aziraphale deflated in disappointment. “I was hoping…”

“To find an alarm system for if Crowley gets taken again?”

“In a manner of speaking,” Aziraphale gave him another pained smile before looking forlornly at his wine. “I’ve been around for a very long time Tony and I have yet to find a way to track or detect these summoning rituals. I usually find Crowley by tracking his essence, but that’s after I figure out that something is wrong.”

Tony leaned back in his seat, mind kicking into overdrive. He studied the dejected angel in front of him.

If someone had a way of stealing Rhodey away without any warning or way to stop it… well, Tony hated the very thought. And that wasn’t taking into account that Aziraphale very clearly was in love with Crowley. Rhodey was Tony’s best friend, his brother.

A partner was different. Not better, not less. Just different.

Tony couldn’t imagine how Aziraphale was coping with this all.

“Give me a week,” Tony finally said.

The angel startled out of his thoughts. “I’m sorry, what?”

“Come back in a week. I’ll have your alarm system for you.”

Aziraphale’s eyes widened in shock. “What?”

“You’re telling me that it’s impossible.” Tony leaned forward, feeling the excitement of a challenge lighting under his skin. “I’ll make it possible.”

The angel didn’t seem to know what to say to that. In the end he settled on, “A week?”

“A week,” Tony nodded firmly. “Bring Crowley if he’s up to it at that point. If you can’t find a way with magic, maybe science is the answer.”

That early morning, an angel left New York nursing a tentative hope in his chest.

Aziraphale ran his fingers through black feathers, carefully straightening them out while Crowley hummed in contentment. The demon was stretched out over the bed, relaxed and loose in a way that made the angel smile.

Crowley didn’t relax like this just anywhere and he was thrilled that he felt safe enough in the bookshop to do it.

“The missing feathers will just have to grow in on their own,” Aziraphale told his demon as he smoothed a hand down the dark wings again.

Crowley’s wings were usually in pristine condition. He preened them regularly and took care of them. (Far better than Aziraphale did, he more often than not forgot to take care of his own as he should.)

Now though, those beautiful, black wings were ragged looking and missing feathers. They were far better than they’d been right after the summoning, but Aziraphale did so hate it when that awful magic ended up with Crowley losing even one of his feathers to humans.

“Jus’ s’me f’thers,” Crowley mumbled into the bed, half asleep. He always melted under the angel’s touch when Aziraphale preened his wings.

“Not just ‘some feathers’ Crowley,” Aziraphale scolded. “Your feathers. And I do very much prefer your feathers on your wings.”

Crowley mumbled something before stretching his wings out carefully. Aziraphale ran his eyes over the feathered appendages critically, looking for any sign of damage he’d missed.

Aside from being a bit stiff though, Crowley’s wings seemed fine and the demon folded them back into the ethereal plane. He let out a pleased sigh and rolled over onto his back, reaching out and tugging Aziraphale down to lie next to him.

“Wasn’t your fault Angel,” he murmured, shifting closer so that he was pressed as close to Aziraphale’s warm body as he could.

The angel started stroking Crowley’s lovely red hair again, pleased that the hissing had faded from the demon’s speech. He was definitely getting better.

“I just wish that I could have been there to help you sooner,” Aziraphale whispered.

“You still came in the end,” Crowley murmured sleepily. “It worked out alright. ‘S fine.”

Aziraphale really didn’t agree with that. It would only be ‘fine’ if Crowley stopped getting hurt at all.

Summonings had long since become the bane of Aziraphale’s existence. Even back when he was still denying that he cared about Crowley (back then going by Crawly), back before Aziraphale fell for the serpent.

He’d hated the rituals since he first discovered them.

It was a vivid memory, one that stood out starkly in his millennia on Earth.

He’d been investigating a high level of demonic energy in an area when he stumbled on the building Crowley was in.

It was long before the Arrangement came to be but they’d run into each other a few times since Eden. The meetings were always uncertain for Aziraphale. He’d known that he really should have been attacking the demon, hereditary enemies and all that, but he just couldn’t.

Crowley had never appeared hostile when they met, always instead reaching out to the angel tentatively with conversation and quiet observations of humanity. (Sometimes… even a surprising helping hand when Aziraphale got himself into a spot of trouble.)

Aziraphale closed his eyes, holding his sleeping demon tight in his arms as he was swept up in the memory.

Aziraphale studied the building warily as he walked through it. The place was saturated in demonic energy. What was going on here?

The sound of shouting drew his attention and he quietly crept towards the room it was coming from.

“You think this is enough?! I want more you useless creature!” An angry male voice seethed and Aziraphale frowned to himself.

He peered into the room and his corporation’s heart almost stuttered to a stop.

The room was filled with gold, jewels and a variety of other treasures. A human was greedily running his gaze over the items even as he continued to demand more.

None of that was what caught the angel’s attention though.

There was a runic circle in the centre of the room and a familiar figure was slumped down in it.

Crawly looked terrible. He seemed to be struggling to stay upright, swaying from side to side as he panted. He was pale and there was a dazed look to his yellow eyes.

The demon looked exhausted.

“I demand more rubies!” the human suddenly shouted.

Crawly grimaced as his arm jerked up like something was forcing it and he snapped his fingers. A wave of demonic energy rippled out as a pile of rubies appeared and Crawly sagged, eyes fluttering closed.

“Open your eyes!” The human snapped as he stalked over to inspect his new prizes. “I’m not done with you yet.”

The demon’s eyes sluggishly opened again but Aziraphale wasn’t sure how. He looked about ready to pass out, which wasn’t a common occurrence with angels or demons.

But if all the demonic energy in the building had come from Crawly… Aziraphale was surprised that the demon wasn’t passed out in a dead faint already.

He wasn’t really sure what was happening or why Crawly was doing what the human wanted, but he did know that the entire situation was very, very wrong.

Without much hesitation at all, Aziraphale clicked his fingers and the human hit the floor in a deep sleep.

Crawly barely seemed to notice what had happened until Aziraphale was right in front of the circle.

The demon squinted at him while Aziraphale studied the runes with growing alarm.

“Ang'l?” Crawly slurred.

He looked even worse up close.

“Oh my dear, what is going on?” Aziraphale asked worriedly.

“S’me… s’me idiot gave the h’manssss a way ta s’mmon demons,” Crawly mumbled, words barely comprehensible at this point.

Aziraphale felt faint at the idea of humans having this power. The circle was making more sense now. The poor demon was trapped in the circle with his powers bound and there was a compulsion wound into it to obey any orders.

That summoner had been forcing Crawly to get him whatever he wanted no matter how exhausted the demon got and never allowed him a moment’s rest.

“How long have you been here Crawly?” Aziraphale asked in concern.

“…f’ve days?” Crawly answered uncertainly.

Five days?! Of non-stop miracles?! No wonder the poor dear looked this bad.

“Well, give me a moment and I’ll have you out of this awful thing,” he assured the demon, feeling an unfamiliar anger rise in his chest, directed at the human who did this.

It was unnecessarily cruel to do this to anyone. It didn’t matter if Crawly was a demon, he didn’t deserve to suffer like this.

He’d have to ensure that this man couldn’t do this again in the future.

After a few minutes of studying the runes, Aziraphale found the correct ones to erase to turn the circle into a harmless, powerless chalk drawing.

And Crawly promptly collapsed sideways in a dead faint, startling the angel.

“You poor dear,” he murmured in sympathy.

He glanced around the room and snapped his fingers, sending the riches far away from this undeserving man. Another quick miracle wiped the knowledge of the ritual from the human’s mind.

Before he left, Aziraphale checked the room for anything else that could be dangerous. He was deeply concerned when he found a book that detailed exactly how to summon a demon.

How many books were out there with this kind of information in them?

Deeply disturbed by the possibilities, Aziraphale tucked the book away and approached the unconscious demon.

No doubt Crawly would be sleeping for quite a long time after this experience. He certainly needed it after using so much energy without a break.

Aziraphale hesitated a moment as he studied the demon. He couldn’t exactly leave Crawly here. He was terribly vulnerable and he hadn’t even caused any trouble this time.

And it was an angel’s duty to protect the innocent and this time Crawly was an innocent. He was the victim of this whole mess.

Mind made up, Aziraphale bent down to scoop the demon up into his arms. One last miracle and they were gone from the building.

Crawly slept for a solid two weeks and was a lot more panicked about the entire ‘summoning’ situation when he woke up. Aziraphale gave him the book so that he could figure out exactly how the human had done it and hopefully find a way to stop it.

Unfortunately for the demon, he didn’t have any luck with that.

“Are you sure you’re feeling up for this?” Aziraphale fretted.

Crowley rolled his eyes fondly as he shrugged into his jacket. “I’ll be fine Angel. I can handle a short trip to America.”

The angel fussed over him for a moment and the demon indulged him for a bit.

“Very well, but no unnecessary miracles,” Aziraphale told him sternly. “And also keep your wings in the ethereal plane, they need more time to heal and manifesting them will strain them.”

Crowley just absently nodded his head. He was admittedly curious about this visit. Tony was one of the more interesting humans Crowley had come across and after Aziraphale had told him that the guy was trying to come up with a way to detect summonings, well, he was intrigued.

He wasn’t holding his breath though. He’d been trying to find a way to prevent these blessed things or at least have a way to alert Aziraphale to them for centuries.

They’d had no luck and he was well-practiced in not getting his hopes up now.

Aziraphale was a lot more optimistic, cautiously hoping that there was an answer in science like Tony had suggested.

Either way, Crowley wanted to see the interesting human again. So it wasn’t a problem for him to tag along.

When Aziraphale had finished his fussing, the pair linked hands and the angel miracled them off to New York.

The first thing Crowley thought was that he could appreciate Tony’s taste in décor. It was all modern with sleek lines and minimalism.

The second thing he thought was that the guy had a fucking fantastic view out of his windows. The archangels would be jealous of it.

“Good afternoon sirs,” a female voice came from nowhere. Crowley remembered reading during his brief research into Tony that the guy had created some artificial intelligences.

He hadn’t expected to distinctly sense a soul in the computer program though.

The demon exchanged a glance with Aziraphale while Friday told them that Tony would be right up.

Almost before she finished her sentence, the door slammed open and a whirlwind of manic energy burst into the room.

Tony looked different from the last time Crowley had seen him. He was dressed in grease-stained jeans and an old ACDC t-shirt. His hair was in disarray and he was barefoot.

“Hah!” Tony declared giddily as he thrust a cellphone into Aziraphale’s startled face.

The guy seemed like chaos personified as he practically vibrated in front of them, no uneasiness about being in front of an angel and a demon anywhere in sight.

“What?” Aziraphale asked, perplexed.

Tony just gave them a smug look. “This, is your alarm system,” he waved the phone a bit. “One state of the art, summoning detection network as requested. This phone lets you know if it goes off.”

Both Crowley and Aziraphale gaped at him.

Well, fuck a duck. Crowley wasn’t expecting this. Not at all. How the fuck did a human manage to do what they failed at for so long?

Almost as if he could hear the question, Tony started rambling. “Friday managed to find a reading of the unique energy signature that your summoning gave off. Just needed a little program linked into a worldwide network and BAM! Summoning alarm system. We just won’t tell the different countries that I’m piggybacking off their satellites.”

“Well I’ll be damned,” Crowley muttered.

Tony cocked his head in confusion. “I thought you already were?”

Then he shoved the phone into Aziraphale’s hands and promptly collapsed onto the couch and fell asleep.

“Apologies, Boss hasn’t slept all week and he’s been drinking far too much coffee,” Friday told them in exasperation.

A slightly hysterical laugh crept it’s way up Crowley’s throat while Aziraphale stared at the phone in disbelief.

“Can we keep him?” Crowley asked. “I really want to keep him.”

“We can’t ‘keep’ humans Crowley,” Aziraphale told him sternly.

“You got to keep Book Girl.”

“Anathema is my friend Crowley!”

“Same thing. So can we keep him?”

No wonder their head offices had ordered them to stay away from Tony and his group. They didn’t like anything that was fun.

And damn but Tony seemed like one fun guy.

Retirement was starting to look even more interesting now.

Chapter Text

Aziraphale was just settling down to a nice cup of tea and a good book when the phone he now carried everywhere with him suddenly went off loudly with one of Crowley’s favourite Queen songs. Startling and dropping his tea as he frantically pulled it out, heart thundering in his chest, Aziraphale answered it.

“Good day Mr. Aziraphale,” Friday’s cheerful voice came through. “A summoning appears to have been performed in France. Please check on your demon.”

Hurriedly, the angel stood and peered into the bedroom to find a messy but empty bed.

“I think it might be him dear,” he told Friday anxiously, already trying to track Crowley’s demonic essence.

“Location of the summoning is being sent to your phone. Give Boss a call if you need any assistance.”

With that, the call cut off and an address was sent through.

That was kind of her.

Aziraphale snapped his fingers and found himself in front of a house he immediately sensed Crowley inside of. His hackles went up the moment he realised that his demon was angry and distressed about something. More so than usual with the summonings.

He didn’t hesitate any longer to head inside.

Almost immediately he heard raised voices, one of them being Crowley’s.

“-not an incubus you bitch! And I’ve got a boyfriend!”

“The book says you’ve got to do whatever I say! And I want some damn sex!” a frustrated female voice yelled back.

Aziraphale didn’t often get truly angry. He got annoyed for certain and a little pissed as Crowley would say. But he hadn’t been angry in a while.

Now however? He was seeing red.

He stormed into the room to find the irritatingly familiar sight of a glowing circle surrounding his lover. Thankfully this one seemed to be missing the compulsion runes so it had only trapped Crowley in place. That place, however, was on a large bed and Crowley’s wings were out and wrapped around himself suggesting that this was a very specific summoning spell.

Aziraphale hadn’t walked in on a summoning like this in a very long time but it never failed to make his blood boil when he did. There were many demons who enjoyed when the summoning was nothing more than a human looking for some dangerous fun. Crowley wasn’t one of those demons though. He’d only been caught up in this kind of spell twice before.

The first time the human had listened when Crowley had explained that he didn’t do summoned sex and had released him with a slew of embarrassed apologies.

The second time Aziraphale had found him when Crowley let out a wave of panicked energy that hit the celestial from miles away. The angel had found the summoner on top of his friend (and crush) while the demon had been fighting the compulsions woven into the circle.

They’d both watched the building burn afterwards, Aziraphale’s wings wrapped tightly around the shaking demon.

Too close. The angel had thought during the weeks Crowley stayed close to him after that summoning. I was almost too late this time.

Sometimes, discorporation was a blessing compared to everything else humans could do with a demon at their mercy.

Since then, it was one of the things he most dreaded when tracking Crowley during a summoning. Thankfully, this spell rarely caught him. It tended to more often draw in the demons that preferred that kind of work.

“Who are you?!” the human woman demanded angrily, having spun to face him when the door slammed open. “Get out!” She was flushed with embarrassment, whether that was from her lack of clothing or being rejected by the demon she summoned, Aziraphale didn’t know or care.

He snapped his fingers and she vanished, getting deposited into the closest, coldest pond with the knowledge of how to do the ritual scrubbed from her mind. The book lying on the table burst into flames as well.

“Aziraphale?”

The angel’s attention was jerked back to the demon on the bed, yellow eyes peering through black feathers.

“Yes my dear, it’s me,” he hurried to reassure Crowley, moving forward to break the circle surrounding the bed.

The black wings relaxed and lowered somewhat, revealing an angry and shaken demon.

“Well, this hasn’t happened in a bit,” he muttered, snapping his fingers when the circle was broken. His usual clothes reappeared and he relaxed a bit more, hurriedly sliding off the bed and allowing Aziraphale to sweep him up into a tight hug.

“Are you alright?” the angel fussed over him.

It had only been two months since the last summoning! Why so soon?

“I’m fine Angel,” Crowley assured him. “Just a rude awakening. Was sleeping when the summoning happened. And then realised the no clothes thing and… you know…” he trailed off. “No compulsions on this one though. She was pretty pissed when I told her I wasn’t interested.”

Aziraphale huffed. “Honestly, they can’t just expect sex because a book told them they could.”

Crowley sent his wings away and together they destroyed any trace of the ritual.

“So… did the alarm system work?” he asked tentatively. “You got here awfully fast.”

Aziraphale perked up. “It did! Friday called me and told me that a summoning had happened. She even sent me the address so that I didn’t need to waste time searching for your essence.”

A significant amount of tension drained from the demon’s body and a grin tugged at his lips. “Well I’ll be… he actually did it,” he murmured wonderingly.

“He did,” Aziraphale whispered, linking their hands as they left the house together.

“What’s the time in New York now?” Crowley wondered. “Kinda want to pop in and tell the crazy bastard that he actually did what demons have deemed impossible for centuries.”

“It doesn’t really matter what time it is,” Aziraphale sighed. “I don’t think that man actually has a decent sleep schedule.”

He pulled out the phone though and called Friday. Both to thank her for her help and to ask if Tony was busy.

“Boss is free currently. I’ll let him know to expect visitors,” she told him cheerfully.

The couple gave it a few minutes before Crowley snapped his fingers and they appeared in the penthouse again.

“Hah!” Tony declared the moment he saw them. “I told you I did it. Nothing’s impossible. It just hasn’t been done yet.”

Crowley smirked while Aziraphale thanked the genius with all the sincerity the angel had at his disposal. Which was a lot.

That quickly got the poor guy looking awkward and unsure over how to handle an angel’s genuine thanks.

Crowley knew the feeling.

Eventually, they ended up at the bar drinking from Tony’s fantastic collection of alcohol.

“So, did it go okay?” Tony asked, eyes scanning Crowley for any sign of injury.

“Yeah, Aziraphale got there in time.”

“Thank you so much Tony,” the angel said again. “It really was a time-sensitive case this time.”

That seemed to make the genius concerned. “Do I want to know what they wanted?”

Crowley looked away. “Let’s just say that apparently there weren’t any sex demons available when the summoning happened.”

Tony choked on his drink. “What the fuck?!” he demanded, outraged. “People seriously do that?!”

Crowley shrugged. “Haven’t got caught in that spell often. This was only the third time.”

“Three times too many,” Tony told him forcefully.

Crowley shrugged again. “Nothing ever happened.”

Aziraphale didn’t say anything but his expression clearly said that it was only good luck that ‘nothing ever happened’.

Tony looked livid at the mere thought and Crowley shifted uncomfortably. He really wasn’t used to anyone but Aziraphale getting upset on his behalf. He’d only met Tony twice now and neither time had really been social with the first one being basically a rescue mission and the second time Tony passed out on the couch.

Both times the human had shown him more respect and kindness than Heaven or Hell combined.

Tony seemed to notice his discomfort as he suddenly stood up. “Fuck this, we need more alcohol. Friday cancel my appointments for tomorrow.”

“Done Boss,” the AI chirped. “Informing Colonel Man that the alcohol stores are about to be drained.”

Tony rolled his eyes as he pulled out some more bottles. “Real funny Friday.”

He dumped the bottles in front of the mildly confused angel and demon.

“Now, let’s discuss how shitty humans can be huh?” he suggested, tilting his half-full glass at the pair.

They hadn’t had a good drunken rant in a while… Why not?

“And then the bitch got offended!” Aziraphale waved his hands, sloshing some wine out of his glass.

Tony gasped in shock, balancing precariously on his chair. “The nerve!”

“It’s like they look at this,” Aziraphale waved to encompass all of a very amused and equally drunk demon. “And think they’re entitled to it! Well, they’re certainly not. Cause all that’s mine.” He nodded his head decisively, almost falling off his chair.

Crowley cooed at him. “Always yours Angel,” he purred, leaning heavily on the celestial. “Been yours since Eden.”

“These summoners have no right to be taking you away like this.” The angel pouted. “Absolutely no right. Not for wishes, not for fishes, certainly not for sex.”

“Fishes?” Tony asked in confusion. “Have they ever asked for that?”

Crowley nodded, practically plastered to his angel. ”Yup. Humans ask for the weirdest things. Once had a guy ask for a pink melon.”

“A pink melon?”

“With polka dots.”

“The fuck?”

“He was very drunk,” Aziraphale admitted.

“The only acceptable thing to ask for when drunk is more alcohol,” Tony declared.

“Very true,” Crowley nodded sagely.

His sunglass had long since fallen off but Tony hadn’t even reacted to the sight of his eyes.

“Fucking summoners,” Tony muttered, pouring another round of drinks for them all. “It’s just a fancy word for kidnapping, that’s all. Summon. Kidnap. ‘Bout the same. If you’re not there willingly then it’s kidnapping. The only exception is school.”

Crowley snickered into Aziraphale’s shoulder.

“Quite,” the angel agreed primly even though he was drunk off his arse.

“Hmm, well hopefully that was a fluke and there’s no more coming,” Tony mused. “But enough about those arseholes. I’ve gotta know. You mentioned Eden and there was that hissing the first time we met and the snake eyes. You’re the Serpent of Eden right?” he looked so earnestly curious that Crowley couldn’t resist answering.

“Yup, that was me,” he admitted. “’S where I met my angel. He gave Adam and Eve his sword.”

“Crowley!” Aziraphale flushed.

“It was flaming like anything and he just gave it away!” Crowley continued gleefully. “Cause he was worried about them.”

“Well, you saw the lion! I was right to be worried. She was expecting!”

Tony looked amused as he listened to their argument. “What’s the whole thing about them saying that the snake was the Devil though?” he asked.

Crowley grumbled into his glass. “PR department.”

Tony pulled a face. “Those bastards? I get it. Looks better for the company’s image right?”

Crowley nodded, practically in Aziraphale’s lap by now. “Yup. Like any of them had the imagination to think up tempting at that point,” he mumbled.

Aziraphale began petting Crowley’s hair.

“You guys are such a sappy couple,” Tony snickered.

“Not sappy,” Crowley muttered. "'m a demon."

“Well six thousand years of pining will do that to you,” Aziraphale mused, ignoring Crowley's denial. “I didn’t even realise I was pining so poor Crowley was doing it all by himself at that point.”

Tony choked on his drink again.

“Six thousand years?!” he shrieked.

Forget Romeo and Juliet. This was the romance for the ages.

Tony cracked an eye open at the sound of Friday’s mildly alarmed voice. “Wha?” he mumbled. He had a killer hangover at the moment. “Wha’s’it?”

He got his answer when the elevator doors opened and Steve Rogers stormed in, yelling at Tony about how he couldn’t just not show up to the Avengers’ meeting. He was trailed by Natasha and Clint who looked bored.

All three stopped when they registered the sight in front of them. Tony was sprawled on the couch, throwing them the squinty death glare of a man with a hangover.

Aziraphale was just starting to stir from his place on the other couch, a fucking massive red and black snake wrapped around him and still very clearly sleeping.

Tony had vague memories of Crowley changing shape sometime during the night and Aziraphale explaining that he was a bit of a clingy drunk.

Great. Those two had just needed a good ‘get drunk’ night and here came Steve to bulldoze his way into it.

“Fuck off,” Tony muttered into the pillow.

“Looks like you had fun,” Natasha sounded amused and Tony just knew she was already heading to the bar to see if there was any vodka left.

“That’s a big fucking snake,” Clint mused. “Why is there a big fucking snake?”

“Wait, isn’t that the guy that you called to help the demon?!” Steve yelled, making Tony wince at the volume.

He heard Crowley grumble and peeked an eye open in time to see the massive snake burrow his head between Aziraphale and the couch.

“Could you keep your voice down?” the angel requested with a sigh. “And kindly don’t threaten Crowley. I certainly won’t take kindly to that.”

“I’d listen to the angel if I were you Cap,” Tony mumbled.

“Angel?” Now Steve just sounded so righteously offended it made Tony want to gag. “Don’t lie to me Tony! An angel wouldn’t drink, or protect a demon!”

Tony heard Clint sigh and, resisting the urge to curse himself, the genius heaved himself up into a sitting position. The room spun a bit (a lot) but Tony was a master at functioning when blind drunk. He just didn’t do it all that much lately.

Aziraphale was already sitting up, hand running soothingly down the snake draped over him. "I can see the resemblance to Gabriel dear," he murmured to Crowley.

“Technically he’s retired,” Tony pointed out to Steve. “I think he can do whatever the fuck he wants. Including fucking the hot, also-retired demon.”

Aziraphale cast a baleful look his way. “You are terrible.”

Tony was sure something was about to happen. Steve was close to snapping again. Nat and Clint were watching him carefully though so Tony didn’t feel too worried.

And Aziraphale had Crowley, so that was fine.

And then, with a loud crack, the enormous snake vanished from the angel’s lap. Aziraphale froze, the blood draining from his face while Tony sat bolt upright, hangover forgotten.

Seconds later Friday spoke up.

“Boss, a summoning has just taken place in Canada.”

“Canada?” Clint asked, perplexed.

“What the fuck?! Again?!” Tony jumped to his feet.

Aziraphale followed, snapping his fingers. Suddenly Tony didn’t feel in the least hungover, feeling completely refreshed. That was fucking cool.

Friday rattled off an address as Tony moved over to the angel. “Let me tag along? It’s suspicious that it’s happened again so soon.”

Aziraphale gave him a tight nod and offered his hand. Ignoring Steve’s shouting, Tony took it and the angel snapped again.

Between one blink and the next, they were somewhere very different.

Aziraphale was already storming over to the front door.

Before he even got there, it slammed open and a bunch of teenagers tripped out, babbling about a giant snake.

Turned out that it was just a bunch of teens being dumb and summoning a demon at a sleepover. They hadn’t expected it to work. They definitely hadn’t expected a giant, hungover snake.

Tony snooped around while Aziraphale fussed over his demon, freeing him from the sloppy circle and snapping his hangover away.

Crowley changed back to his human form, still looking pissed over the whole thing.

“Well, fuck,” Tony mused, drawing their attention. He’d found one of the teen’s laptops.

“What is it?” Crowley snapped.

“So… it looks like someone went and posted a whole lot of summoning rituals online.” Tony turned the laptop to face them. From the way they both paled, the rituals were most likely all accurate.

“How…” Crowley sounded a bit faint.

“I’ve been getting rid of every book I find with summoning rituals in them!” Aziraphale sounded completely distressed. “How is this possible?!”

Crowley swallowed. “What’s the website?”

Tony checked before answering. It was a weird one. “BeNotAfraid.com.”

Both supernatural entities stilled.

“That fucker,” Crowley breathed.

“Gabriel!” Aziraphale yelled, eyes flashing.

Tony eyed the pair warily as they both fumed. “Fri baby girl, wipe this website and anywhere else you can find these rituals.”

“Right away Boss,” she agreed.

It wouldn’t solve the problem though. They could take it off the internet, because yes his baby girl was that good, but the people who had already downloaded the information would still have it. Screenshots, information written down, photos…

This wasn’t good.

And who the fuck was Gabriel?

Chapter Text

Aziraphale and Crowley were curled up on Tony's couch, the angel holding the demon tightly as though he could will Crowley to stay in one place.

Meanwhile, Tony and Friday were tearing their way through the Internet, wiping any trace of the rituals they had seen on the website. Any time they came across one they didn't know, they sent it to the tablet clutched in Crowley's hands and deleted or left it based on what he suggested.

"So the Archangel Gabriel is a petty, spiteful sore loser because you guys stopped the Apocalypse and then survived your executions?" He checked when the pair finally finished their story.

"Essentially," Crowley agreed from behind Aziraphale's wings.

"So he's dumped a bunch of summoning rituals specifically tailored to summon Crowley because of it?"

"Yes," Aziraphale answered tightly.

The angel was practically vibrating with rage and Crowley was doing his best to soothe him and not get smothered in the protective cocoon of arms and feathers.

"Bastard," Tony agreed lightly.

"Who? Rogers?" Stephen asked as he walked into the room, glancing curiously at the angel aggressively cuddling a demon on the couch.

"Well, yes, but also not this time," Tony told him, distracted by his hacking work.

Friday ended up giving Stephen an explanation of why Tony had sent him the 'Fucking Magic' alert.

Stephen, understandably, exploded.

"What kind of idiotic moron goes and gives humans of all creatures the ability to summon a fucking demon?!" He shouted. "Humans are notorious for their damn dumb decisions!"

He was fuming.

Tony nodded along absently while he ranted, scrubbing the next website clean of genuine summoning rituals.

"Yeah not a great-" Tony was cut off by a cracking sound and Azirapahle let out a cry of anger and frustration.

"Justin Hammer's house," Friday stated dryly.

Tony facepalmed while Aziraphale vanished with a snap of his fingers.

"How many?" Stephen asked, concern in his voice. 

"Including the one we saved him from? This is the fourth one," Tony answered.

This was ridiculous! What kind of asshole tries to destroy someone's life to this extent? And just because they lost?

He shook his head and focused on the forums where he'd found another set of rituals being discussed. He hoped he freaked the participants of the discussion the fuck out as he deleted the conversation, the thread and their accounts before scrubbing the website clean as well.

"We need to figure out a way to stop these summonings Stephen," Tony said as Aziraphale reappeared with a pissed off Crowley.

"What an idiot," the demon muttered.

"I see you've met Hammer," Tony threw him a smirk. "Yes, he is as dumb as he seems."

Crowley returned the smirk before abruptly being yanked back down to cuddle with a very stressed-out angel.

"Wong and I haven't managed to find anything in the library," Stephen admitted.

"So we'll make our own solution," Tony spoke a little more forcefully than usual as he eradicated a ritual that used human sacrifices.

What the actual fuck was wrong with this Gabriel person?!

"You can't prevent a summoning from being performed," Stephen pointed out.

Crowley vanished in another deafening crack. Aziraphale might have glowed a little and Tony thought the couch might be smoking.

"Greenland," Friday offered and the angel was off.

"We can try and stop the spell from latching onto Crowley though," Tony told the sorcerer without looking up from his work.

Stephen frowned thoughtfully at that.

"Anchor him so that it's specifically him that can't be summoned?" He asked.

"Give him a firewall. Can't stop people from hacking but I can stop them from hacking me." Tony squinted at the weird gibberish on the screen and tried to figure out if it was dangerous gibberish or normal gibberish.

"That might just be possible," Stephen mused as an irate angel popped back into view.

"They were kids that wanted ice-cream Angel," Crowley soothed as he was gathered back into a protective embrace.

Aziraphale grumbled something under his breath.

"I'll need to study the specific magical signature," Stephen told them.

"I'm pretty sure it's saturating the air right now," Tony muttered as he scowled, wiping the information from SHIELD's servers. They should know better than this. He didn't care if they were clear of HYDRA. No one should have this information.

"It is," Crowley confirmed, sounding a little breathless.

"You okay over there Fire and Brimstone?" Tony called.

"Peachy," was the sour response. "Not used to such rapid summons. It's a bit draining-"

He got cut off as he vanished again and Aziraphale let out a rather unangelic curse.

Friday sounded alarmed when she spoke. "Boss! HYDRA!"

"Shit!" Tony was out of his seat and racing over to the angel in moments, suit flying in to wrap around him. "I'm coming with this time," he informed the agitated celestial.

Aziraphale didn't argue, letting the genius grab his arm as he snapped over to Crowley's location.

Tony knew HYDRA. He'd studied whatever he could get after the SHIELDRA Data Dump. 

If there was one thing that could be said about HYDRA, it was that they were fast and efficient when they wanted to be. So Tony knew that they wouldn't waste time gloating after summoning a demon. Crowley wasn't an already known enemy of theirs that they would want to taunt.

They saw a target. A weapon.

An Asset.

They would have had everything ready to go the moment the summoning happened.

As he expected, they appeared in a room to the sight of a binding ritual already in progress.

Crowley was writhing in the middle of the circle as what sounded like Latin was chanted.

Tony could almost hear it as Aziraphale's patience snapped, white wings spreading out to either side of his now glowing body.

He snapped his fingers and the floor shook like an earthquake was spontaneously starting, with this room as its epicentre.

The concrete beneath their feet shattered, throwing the HYDRA agents off balance and destroying the glowing circle.

Crowley scrambled to his feet and raced over to them, surprising Tony when he went right past the angel to knock Tony to the floor, wings snapping out to cover them both, like a shield.

"Close your eyes," the demon ordered breathlessly. "Humans can't see his angelic form Tony. Close your eyes."

Tony, for once, didn't argue when orders were thrown at him and shut his eyes.

Even through the shield of black feathers and his closed eyelids, Tony could still make out the blinding white light that engulfed the room.

Crowley hissed and Tony could feel him shift to tuck his head into the crook of his elbow.

Distantly, Tony could hear bells and what sounded like an entire fucking choir.

And then, just as quickly as it started, it was over.

Crowley waited a beat before rolling off of Tony, feathery shield going with him.

The genius tentatively opened his eyes and looked around.

The demon was blinking rapidly like he was trying to clear spots from his vision, and were his wings smoking?!

Aziraphale stood in the middle of the room, white wings still outstretched.

And a flaming sword in hand. Okay, that was new.

As for the rest…

There was nothing left of the HYDRA agents but ash.

Tony stared around in awe. There'd been a good twenty to thirty people here. And now they were gone, obliterated in the face of a protective angel.

This, was righteous anger. Not Rogers' bullshit. This was a fucking angel when he got properly pissed off.

Crowley pushed himself upright and staggered over to his partner.

"Angel?" He called, voice impossibly gentle. "Threat's gone love. Time to come back to me now."

He kept talking for a few minutes and Aziraphale gradually seemed to come back to himself, the last of the glow fading and his wings lowering.

He reached out and wrapped his arms around the demon who went willingly into the embrace.

"They were going to bind you to them," he whispered. 

"But you stopped them," Crowley soothed. "You saved like you've been doing since the beginning."

Aziraphale shuddered and buried his face in the demon's shoulder.

"I will never let anyone take you from me. Not humans, not Hell, not Heaven and certainly not Gabriel."

The sword still in his hand flared brighter for a moment before vanishing from sight.

Tony decided to give the couple a moment to calm down and went about hacking into the bases' systems to wipe all traces of summoning rituals. When he was done, Aziraphale was looking a lot calmer, although he was gripping Crowley's hand tightly.

"I am terribly sorry Tony," he fretted. "Are you alright?"

Tony waved a hand. "I'm fine Feathers. That was badass though. Think I'm getting the whole angelic wrath thing now."

Aziraphale flushed in embarrassment and Crowley laughed, seeming delighted by his partner’s awkwardness.

"I've wiped out the information here and planted a virus that will spread to any device that tries to link to these systems. If the rest of HYDRA tries, their systems will be wiped too."

The angel gave him a thankful nod.

"We do appreciate the effort you've been putting into helping us Tony," he told the genius.

Oh no, those genuine, soulful eyes were coming out again. That was a lethal weapon.

"Hey, we're buddies now. We got drunk together."

Crowley huffed a laugh, resting his chin on Aziraphale's fluffy hair.

"Still appreciate it," he muttered. "People don't usually think helping a demon is a good idea."

"I don't care," Tony stated blandly. "I've decided you're my friend. You're stuck with me."

Aziraphale gave him a grateful smile.

After checking the base one more time, they headed back to the penthouse where Stephen was already hard at work and chatting with Friday over ideas.

Thankfully, Crowley got a break from all the summonings for a bit and dozed off on the couch, head in Aziraphale's lap. The angel himself stayed completely alert, listening as Tony and Stephen fired ideas back and forth with Friday interjecting occasionally.

He finally stepped in at the five-hour mark and insisted they take a break for food. Stephen headed back to the Sanctum for that and to get a few more books to study.

Tony settled down on the couch opposite the angel and demon pair and sipped at his smoothie thoughtfully.

"Has someone ever managed a successful binding spell?" He asked into the quiet, watching as the angel gently ran his finger through Crowley's bright red hair.

Aziraphale's breathing hitched for a moment and his hand stilled, drawing a protesting sound from the sleeping demon.

A slight smile pulled at the angel's mouth as he continued his petting before he looked up at Tony.

Those haunted blue eyes didn't bode well for his answer.

Aziraphale had always dreaded the day that he wasn’t fast enough to save Crowley. The day that he didn’t realise the demon was missing soon enough, that he couldn’t find him soon enough.

He’d been dreading it. And now it was finally here.

The human who’d summoned Crowley was one of the competent ones with great ambitions and far too many resources.

Aziraphale appeared in a room painted red with blood, a human laughing maniacally in the sea of red as he held the metaphorical leash to a bound demon.

The yellow eyes that Aziraphale secretly loved so much were entirely black and there wasn’t a twitch of recognition on the blood-splattered demon.

Oh, this would hurt Crowley so much, when he realised how many lives this monster had forced him to take.

The human had startled at the angel’s sudden appearance, taking in his wings with fear. He looked back to Crowley who’s demonic aspects were on full display, claws out and black scales covering his body.

“Kill the angel!” the human ordered in a panic.

Aziraphale had truly dreaded this day.

It wasn’t long before the building was destroyed, pulled apart by the clashing forces at war. The angel and demon had taken to the sky, battling in the onslaught of rain that had fallen from the sky like the world was weeping at the sight before it.

Aziraphale knew that there was only one way to free Crowley from the binding. Even killing the human wouldn’t end it, or remove the effect of the final order given.

“Please forgive me,” the angel begged in a heartbroken voice as he drove his sword through the demon.

Crowley was a decent fighter but Aziraphale was made a Guardian, a warrior. The demon truly never stood a chance.

He discorporated, his demonic essence escaping back to Hell, free from the binding and safe (as safe as he ever was in Hell at least).

Aziraphale still grieved, hands covered in the black blood of his friend.

It wasn’t long before the human soul who caused all this followed Crowley to Hell. The demon had once told Aziraphale that there was a special corner of the fiery pits reserved for demon summoners.

Demons didn’t like having the free will they’d Fallen for ripped from them through no fault of their own.

It took a decade before the angel saw Crowley again. He was prepared to apologise, to beg forgiveness for harming the demon even if it was to help him.

Crowley had beaten him to it, pleas and apologies spilling from his lips.

“I couldn’t stop it, I was aware the whole time, but I couldn’t stop it. I’m sorry Angel, I’m so sorry.”

And Aziraphale’s heart broke at the words. It was the first time the angel pulled his friend into a hug, wings wrapping around them both so that the demon could break down in safety for the first time since it happened, shaking hands fisted in Aziraphle’s shirt as the angel whispered apologies of his own and promises to never let that happen again.

He couldn’t harm his friend like that again. He just couldn’t.

Tony looked away briefly from the agonised expression on the angel’s face.

“Who the hell thought it was a good idea to give humans this power anyway?” he asked quietly.

“We don’t know,” Aziraphale admitted.

“It was a demon,” Crowley murmured, startling them since they hadn’t realised he was awake. “We still don’t know who but it was a demon who probably thought it was a great way to tempt human souls. They didn’t think the whole idea through and demons have been suffering the consequences since.”

“The angels didn’t like the whole thing either. They gave humanity blessed weapons and Holy Water after that to combat the increase in demonic influence,” Aziraphale added.

“And angels never made the same mistake?” Tony couldn’t help but ask.

“You can’t summon angels,” Crowley answered. “They’re connected to Heaven and it prevents any kind of summoning. When we Fell, we lost that connection. Demons are untethered enough that the magic can snatch us right up.”

“This is just messed up,” Tony said quietly as the angel turned his full attention to his partner, murmuring softly to him and pressing a kiss to his hair.

The genius slipped out silently, wanting to give the pair some privacy. Hopefully they had a bit of time before someone tried another summoning.

He stood outside the room, a thoughtful look on his face.

“A tether huh?” he mused, an idea starting to take shape in his mind.

He took out his phone and shot off a text to Stephen as he headed back to his lab.

I think I’ve got an idea Doc.

“I can practically hear you overthinking Angel,” Crowley grumbled.

Aziraphale sighed, fingers stilling in the demon’s hair for a moment.

“I’m worried,” he admitted. “I never thought Gabriel would ever go this far.”

Crowley rolled over so that he was looking up at his partner. “Personally I’m surprised that he knows what the internet is,” he drawled.

Aziraphale shot him an unimpressed look. “You know as well as I do that he probably has help from someone.”

“One of the other archangels?” Crowley asked casually, trying not to think about having Michael and Uriel also in on this whole mess.

“I suspect Sandalphon,” Aziraphale sighed. “He kept a little more up to date with human developments. Enough to help Gabriel if he ever needed it.”

The angel bit his lip in a familiar expression of concern.

“Hey, we’ll get through this Angel,” Crowley assured him. “We always do. We got through Eden, the Flood, hundreds of years of misery, the World Wars, almost-Armageddon and even our own executions… we got through them all Angel. We’ll get through this.”

Aziraphle gave him a wobbly smile. “I do so wish I had your confidence dear,” he murmured.

“We even have a couple of allies this time,” Crowley added, trying to cheer his angel up.

“That has certainly helped,” Aziraphale admitted.

“We’ll figure this out,” Crowley repeated firmly.

Aziraphale’s smile was a bit stronger this time. He leaned down and brushed a gentle kiss over the demon’s lips. Crowley leaned up to chase the kiss as the angel sat back again.

“Come on Angel,” he whined. “You can’t keep teasing me with kisses.”

“We are not going to go any further until this is over Crowley,” Aziraphale told him, gently but firmly. “I do not want you vanishing in the middle of anything.”

Crowley pouted. “Fucking Gabriel.”

“Quite,” Aziraphale agreed.

“What a load of-”

There was a crack and Crowley landed on a wooden floor.

“…bollocks,” he finished on a sigh.

Glare already in place he turned his head to figure out where he was now. Aziraphale was only moments behind him, giving the man who’d done the summoning a stern lecture about doing this sort of thing on a bet.

The poor guy nodded so hard that he resembled a bobblehead.

Aziraphale miracled them back to the penthouse where Friday greeted them warmly.

“You’re using too much energy,” Crowley scolded the angel softly.

“I know the summonings are draining you,” Aziraphale responded equally as quietly. “I don’t want you using any of your powers right now.”

“What a mess,” Crowley muttered, feeling his frustration over their helplessness rise again.

He was stopped from lashing out by the elevator doors opening. A black man in a military uniform stepped in and one glance was all it took to tell Crowley that this guy was headed straight Upstairs at the end of his life.

The guy gave an exasperated sigh when he looked at them, a pained expression flitting across his face.

“You the angel and the demon Tones mentioned?” he asked reluctantly.

Crowley gave a wary nod.

The man sighed again. “You should tell Tony not to go around gleefully telling people that you’re in a relationship,” he told them.

Aziraphale flushed to the tips of his ears while Crowley grinned at the memory. This must be Rhodey then. The one that Tony had mentioned he wanted to tell about them just to mess with him.

“Oh but we are fucking,” the demon purred the words, reducing Aziraphale to a spluttering mess. “Why would we hide that?”

Rhodey gave him a baleful look.

“You and Tony are going to be a nightmare together. I can already tell.”

Chapter Text

They really should have seen this coming. It was the inevitable conclusion of this entire mess.

Crowley had been summoned a-fucking-gain, and had immediately felt the burn of consecrated ground under his hands and knees.

Lifting his head, he wasn't surprised to see the priest glaring condescendingly down at him.

A church. Just fucking perfect. He wasn't welcome here and the very air was letting him know that as it burned his lungs.

Now, it wasn't the first time he'd been summoned into a church by a priest. It had happened a few times and normally ended in a painful exorcism that resulted in discorporation.

Crowley knew that this time would be different though.

Because Gabriel and Sandalphon were behind the priest and looking infuriatingly smug.

"Well done," the archangel told the priest who puffed up at the praise.

Sandalphon walked over to the circle, one that unfortunately did have compulsions woven through it, and grabbed Crowley by the hair, dragging his head back and baring his throat.

"Take this snake," he ordered.

Crowley blindly reached out, unable to resist the compulsions and his hand closed around the hilt of a blade.

He hissed as it started burning his palm immediately.

"Hold it to your neck and keep your mouth shut." Sandalphon stepped back again as Crowley was forced to press the blessed blade against his throat, wincing at the burn that started up there at the contact.

The order bound his ability to talk but he could still think. And he didn't like where this was going.

They weren't focused on him. This wasn't just a summoning for him.

He was bait.

There was no conventional way to summon an angel after all.

Moments later, Aziraphale appeared, anger melting away to fear as he took in the sight of the angels and Crowley holding a knife to his own throat.

"Aziraphale!" Gabriel greeted jovially, like they were old friends. "It's been a while."

"Gabriel," Aziraphale's eyes flicked between the demon and the archangel anxiously.

Gabriel tutted. "Now, no need to do something stupid." He gave Aziraphale a horrible smile.

"Demon!" He barked and Crowley stiffened. "If Aziraphale moves you're to immediately slit your throat."

Aziraphale stilled and Crowley wasn't sure if the angel was even breathing anymore. The demon was highly aware of the blade burning away at his throat and palm. An injury like that would definitely discorporate him.

"Gabriel," Crowley hated that a hint of pleading had entered his angel's voice. "Please don't do this."

"Now," Gabriel continued pleasantly, ignoring Aziraphale's words. "I'm sure Hell would be thrilled to see the snake again but we have some things to discuss so he can't leave just yet."

Aziraphale stared helplessly at Crowley who wished he could comfort his angel. But the words were trapped in his throat and he was frozen in place.

"Oh don't look so glum Aziraphale!" Gabriel smirked. "It's like a reunion. Aren't you happy to see us?"

Aziraphale clenched his jaw, finally tearing his gaze away from Crowley to glare at the angels.

He was practically vibrating with rage but was too afraid of the consequences to move. The priest was watching everything with the fanatic devotion that Gabriel so loved.

The archangel casually walked over to Crowley, Aziraphale's sharp gaze locked on him the entire time.

"Disappointed to see you still consorting with this filth Aziraphale," Gabriel mused, staring down at Crowley.

The demon glared back at the fucker, body straining against the compulsions.

"I thought you'd eventually come to your senses," Gabriel continued. "But it's taking too long."

Crowley knew that glint of maliciousness in the angel's eyes. He'd seen it enough in the eyes of demons as they got ready for a good torture session.

He wished Aziraphale would escape, get away. Gabriel would never forgive Aziraphale for ruining their plans. He was here for revenge and he was using Crowley to do it.

"You've got me here," Aziraphale pleaded. "Let Crowley go."

Gabriel's smile only widened and he tutted. "Letting demons go isn't what an angel does Aziraphale," he reminded him lightly. "Now, stay right there while I remind you why disobedience is a bad idea."

He pulled another blessed dagger into sight and rested it against Crowley's cheek. The demon flinched away from the burn as Gabriel drew the dagger over his skin, opening up a shallow cut that burned like Hell.

The next ten minutes were filled with Aziraphale's pained pleading while Gabriel slowly and methodically left cuts on Crowley everywhere he could reach. He was only warming up but the blessing on the knife already made his body feel like it was on fire.

Suddenly the doors to the church slammed open dramatically and a figure sauntered in.

"Huh, kinda seems disrespectful to do a demon summoning in a church," Tony mused. 

Crowley blinked dazedly at the human as Gabriel turned around, a frown on his lips.

What was the crazy bastard doing now?!

"Tony Stark?" The priest muttered in confusion.

Tony shot a predatory grin their way.

"Who are you?" Gabriel demanded in annoyance.

Crowley was almost amused by the priest's expression, the look clearly asking how anyone didn't know who Tony Stark was.

Tony, naturally, took the opportunity to be a dramatic little shit.

"Oh boy, hope you've got the time for that answer," he said cheerfully, rocking back and forth on his feet. He didn't have his armour on and his hands had been jammed in his pockets since walking in. "Anthony Edward Stark, at your service. Genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist." His eyes sparkled with mischief and his lips twitched. "Atheist," he added, making the priest glare at him.

"Hey don't give me that look. You have every right to believe in what you want to and I'll stick with my science thanks," Tony waved the man off, eyes never quite leaving Gabriel who was closest to Crowley still. Sandalphon was nearer to Aziraphale.

The genius let his sunglasses slide down his nose so he could peer at them.

"As I was saying; owner of Stark Industries, founder of the Maria Stark Foundation, Avenger, Iron Man." He whistled. "Introductions huh? They can get long-winded when you're, you know, me."

Now he pulled his sunglasses off entirely, still rambling on in the conversation fast enough that Gabriel couldn't get a word in edgewise. 

"And you'd be Gabriel right? Archangel, Messenger of God, royal pain in the ass lately. My baby girl Friday's been getting pretty damn annoyed with all the summonings she's keeping track of."

"Indeed Boss," Friday said primly from Aziraphale's pocket.

The phone, Crowley realised. She was probably always connected to it. Likely alerted Tony to the situation.

By now, Gabriel looked properly annoyed.

"I don't actually care who you are. Go away," he snapped his fingers and Tony just smiled.

"What?" Gabriel turned his full attention on the human.

"Oh sorry, not a fan of people fucking around with my head. Got a witch that's a little trigger happy with her magic around me on the team so a friend of mine warded my mind against that kinda thing. Gotta protect this brain. Do you know how much it's worth?"

He shifted his stance a little as Gabriel moved closer, looking more annoyed now. "There's no way a human could block a miracle." He glanced at Aziraphale but the angel was still standing frozen in place, looking stressed out of his mind.

"Hey now, don't underestimate us humans," Tony complained. "I mean, yeah, we've done some fucking dumb shit, but we do some damn cool shit too. Besides, there's no such thing as impossible. It just hasn't been done yet. Or in this case," he tapped his temple with a shit-eating grin. "It has."

Sandalphon was watching the entire conversation in confusion. Both angels seemed to have been thrown off by Tony's appearance.

"What are you doing here Mr. Stark?" The priest ended up being the one to ask. "This is no business of yours."

Tony levelled an unimpressed glare at the man. "Kidnapping is illegal. I don't care if a giant chicken said that it’s fine. Common sense says don't kidnap people. And I like that demon. He's cool. We got drunk together. That creates a bond you know?"

The priest spluttered while Gabriel puffed up in anger. Crowley had to bite back a laugh at the balls Tony had. Facing down an archangel and still somehow seeming like the one in control.

"You actually fell for the demon's act?" Sandalphon sneered. "Foolish human."

Gabriel let an ugly smile take over his face. "Perhaps you should see what he really is then."

He turned to face Crowley again and ordered, "Show your real demonic form snake."

Crowley grit his teeth as he was forced to change into his more demonic appearance. Nails shifted into lethal claws, teeth lengthened into long fangs and a forked tongue rapidly tasted the air as he panted. Black scales covered a large portion of his skin and his eyes turned entirely yellow, erasing the white. 

Finally, his wings burst out, arching out as he was forced to hold them outstretched like a specimen on display.

He didn't generally use this form unless he was trying to freak someone out or he was fighting. Didn't really like it much.

The priest stumbled back in fear and Gabriel turned back to Tony with a smirk. The smug look dropped when he found the human looking bored.

"That all?" Tony asked, like he was just realising that it was done. "Clearly you've never met the Hulk."

The priest made some strange noise that almost could have been an agreement.

"Was I supposed to be horrified?" Tony asked in amusement. "Run screaming in terror? Sorry to tell you this but I still think Crowley's pretty hot. If I didn't know for sure that Aziraphale is a possessive lover then I would have definitely tried for a threesome."

Aziraphale choked on air, turning a bright red.

Gabriel looked suitably offended by the statement, his angelic morals getting all ruffled.

"Oh don't look at me like that," Tony sauntered closer. "Playboy remember? I've done just about everything Kentucky. Threesomes, foursomes, orgies, and everything in between. I'm in pretty high demand you know?"

He seemed to delight in Gabriel's growing anger. Crowley couldn't figure out why Tony was pushing the archangel's buttons but he seemed to have a plan. Yellow eyes flicked over to meet Aziraphale's. The angel looked terrified, both for Crowley and Tony. Understandable really considering Tony was poking the bear and Crowley had a blessed knife at his throat. His hand shook where it was still pressing the blade to his skin. These burns would take for-fucking-ever to heal. 

"Can't really blame people for wanting this though, can you?" Tony asked, gesturing down at his body.

He had a point. Tony was one of the hottest humans that Crowley had ever seen and he'd seen a lot. No wonder most of the planet was enamoured with him. Crowley could appreciate the sight even if he had no interest. He had his angel after all.

Tony would make one Hell of a demon though.

"But we're getting off track," Tony waved his hand. 

Crowley caught sight of a glint of metal around his wrist.

"The reason why we're here, is that you basically committed a crime. Kidnapping is illegal as I said. And Crowley and Aziraphale are both registered residents of Earth, as of ten minutes ago, thank you for that by the way Friday."

"Of course Boss," the AI chirped cheerfully. "The paperwork has all been filed."

"So they kind of fall under Earth's jurisdiction now. And as supernatural creatures they also fall under the Enhanced umbrella. So under the Avengers. Being really specific though, they actually fall under the jurisdiction of the Sorcerer Supreme. And our laws apply to them. So, no kidnapping the demon. No threats allowed, mind control is a big no no and killing is considered murder."

He whistled. "That's a pretty long rap sheet for an angel."

Gabriel was shaking in anger at the gall of the human in front of him.

"So," Tony smiled in an unsettling way. Crowley got the feeling that whatever trap had been set was about to be sprung. "You can't touch these two since they're under Earth's protection. And you, Mister Archangel sir, are considered an otherworldly threat. So kindly fuck off would you? Rhodey promised me pizza tonight and I'd rather not miss dinner."

Gabriel's patience snapped and he lunged forward, sword in hand. Sandalphon didn't make a move to stop him, no doubt thinking that Tony deserved this.

The human was still smiling though. 

Despite Aziraphale's cry of alarm, Crowley smiled.

A high-pitched whine was their only warning before Gabriel was blasted back by some kind of energy beam. He was sent flying into a wall, hitting with a surprising amount of force.

Tony chuckled, arm outstretched and a red and gold metal gauntlet covering his hand up to the elbow.

"Did you really think that I came here unarmed?" He asked in amusement. "I know you're dangerous. You don't care about who you hurt. You dumped all that info on summonings on the Internet where literal children could and have found it. You didn't care who you hurt as long as you got your petty revenge."

Sandalphon looked stunned, unable to believe that a human had managed to stop Gabriel in his tracks.

The archangel pushed himself to his feet, looking both bewildered and furious.

Tony sighed. "I can see the resemblance to Steve," he told Crowley, before looking back at Gabriel. "That's not a good thing," he added.

"You dare-" Gabriel started but Tony cut him off, joking demeanour vanishing.

"Yes I fucking dare," he seethed. "This is my fucking planet. You don't get to show up here causing trouble when you were all for starting Armageddon a few months ago! You don't get to put hundreds of humans at risk because you're a sore loser! What the hell were you thinking?! Giving humans all those rituals to summon demons?!"

Gabriel scoffed. "They were all tailored to that snake. He's the only demon that would be summoned."

Tony shook his head with a laugh. "Underestimating humanity again there," he told the angel. "People have already figured out which part of the rituals are Crowley's name. They're substituting other names already. Because we're a fucking curious lot. Friday, how many summonings have happened in the last hour?"

"Forty-two Boss," the AI answered soberly.

"Forty-two," Tony repeated. "Not counting this one, that's forty-one other demons on Earth, at the mercy of humans. Do you know the chaos that will cause?"

That, finally, seemed to get through to the angels.

"That's not possible," Gabriel argued.

"Nothing is impossible," Tony bit back. "Only if you think it is. And humans are damn stubborn you idiot. Stephen's order is doing what it can, interrupting the rituals, banishing the demons. It's completely out of hand now though. Because your fucking ego was bruised."

Gabriel was spitting mad now.

"They deserved it!"

Tony looked down his nose at the angel in disgust. "That enough for you?" he asked suddenly, pitching his voice louder.

"Yes," a female voice responded and a moment later the space around them seemed to shatter like glass and some familiar figures appeared along with an annoyed-looking Stephen Strange.

Beelzebub looked more pissed than Crowley had ever seen them. Hastur was glowering at Crowley (no surprise there). Michael looked about ready to throttle Gabriel (which was surprising). And Uriel looked lost in some kind of horrified daze.

"What were you thinking!?" Michael demanded, stalking forward towards her fellow archangel.

Uriel snapped out of her shock in time to pin Sandalphon in place with a livid glare.

What the actual fuck was happening?

Tony glanced at the group as Michael got started on tearing into Gabriel without letting him get a word in. The two demons were just enjoying the show for a moment. The priest was cowering in the corner, apparently not sure what was happening either.

Seemingly satisfied, Tony made his way over to Crowley.

The demon had almost forgotten his position until Tony crouched down in front of him, causing a wave of deja vu to hit Crowley.

This human was developing a habit of saving the demon from summonings.

Sharp brown eyes ran over the runes making up the circle before he reached out and neatly wiped one away.

Crowley felt the compulsions fall away from his True Form like a shed skin but he couldn't make himself move. His muscles were all locked up from fighting the compulsions so hard.

Expression understanding, Tony moved slowly. He clasped the demon's wrist and gently pulled the blade away from his throat. Then he pried open his fingers to remove the knife from his burned hand.

"Easy there Golden-Eye," he murmured, throwing the knife a fair distance away.

Crowley let out a huff of a laugh. "Wasss that a Jamesss Bond reference?" He asked disbelievingly, then realised that he could talk again, orders no longer binding his tongue.

Although, he was still in his more demonic form. He didn't have the energy to change back just yet, but it didn't seem to bother Tony at all. He was studying the burned hand held in his with an annoyed frown, ignoring the claws and scales to focus on the injuries.

Crowley didn't have to look to know that it had burnt through to the bone. He could feel it thank you very much.

Like a switch flipping, the tension suddenly left his body and he sagged forward, Tony barely catching him as his wings fell limply behind him.

That was… that was too damn close. Looked like Tony could work a few miracles of his own…

"Aziraphale?" Tony called. "It's safe to move again. Compulsions are gone. You'll have to take care of the rest of the circle though."

Like he was just waiting for the all-clear from someone they somehow actually trusted, Aziraphale was suddenly there pulling the demon into his arms and off of the consecrated floor. Seconds later the circle disappeared and Crowley sighed. 

It was over.

At least this summoning. Who knew how many there were in store for him in the future?

Unless, of course, Tony managed another miracle somehow. 

Which wasn't too crazy of an idea.

How the fuck did he end up getting Michael and Uriel here? And Beelzebub?

What the hell did he do?

Chapter Text

“You did what?!” Aziraphale asked in a panic, arms tightening around his disbelieving but gleeful boyfriend.

Tony just gave the poor angel a wide grin.

Roughly half an hour earlier:

“Wait Crowley’s been kidnapped by archangels?” Tony asked sharply when Friday alerted him. Across the room, Stephen looked alarmed.

This wasn’t good. It sounded like they had Aziraphale in a tight spot as well.

Tony sat frozen for a moment as his mind rapidly flipped through and discarded potential ideas.

Eventually, he settled on one. A little risky but with a high probability of success.

“Okay, so Stephen you trust me right?” He asked hopefully.

The sorcerer turned to look at him and there was a moment of silence. 

“Yes,” Stephen decided, the answer sending a wave of relief through Tony. Most would have given that question an immediate ‘no’.

“I don’t have time to explain so just go with whatever I’m about to throw at you okay?”

He could visibly see the sorcerer bracing himself for whatever chaos Tony was about to unleash.

“We’re going to need to do our own demon summoning.”

Which was how they ended up with a pissed-off-looking Beelzebub standing in the middle of Tony’s lab minutes later.

The genius launched into his idea before the demon could say anything. He was raised to be one of the best businessmen in the world. He’d taken SI and launched it onto the international stage while rapidly expanding the company at the same time. He didn’t crash and burn when doing an about-face and dropping weapons production in favour of literally everything else he could get his hands on.

Crowley and Aziraphale had described Heaven and Hell as businesses and sure, they’d been around far longer than Tony had.

They weren’t prepared for this though. Not by a long shot.

“So I’m sure you’ve noticed that your employees keep disappearing on you,” he started speaking. “We don’t have a lot of time but the short answer to that is ‘Gabriel.’”

The demon’s eyes narrowed at the name.

“Long story short, he wanted to get back at Crowley and Aziraphale so he dumped a bunch of demon summoning rituals on the internet. Only problem is it didn’t take long before humans figured out how to substitute Crowley’s name for any other demon’s. That’s how you’re here today. So, the way I see it, we’ve both got problems. And we can help each other solve them with a little teamwork. My friend here and I don’t exactly want humans running around with demons under their control. And you don’t want your workers up and disappearing at random times.”

“And what could you possibly do to help uzzz?” they demanded suspiciously.

“I figured out how to track summonings,” Tony answered simply. “My AI picks up when that system goes off, she calls you and gives you the location. You send someone to fetch your demons and head back to hell and we don’t have to be the ones expending manpower to do it.”

At least it looked like he had their attention now.

“Of course it won’t be that simple. We’ll draw up a contract, probably annoy the shit out of each other as we try and slip in things that benefit us, but in the end, we have a way for you to get your demons back and we have no demons running amok because of moronic angels.”

They looked thoughtful for a moment. 

“I’ll sweeten the deal with you getting to see what’s going to happen to Gabriel if you can get someone from Heaven to come down and see me. You guys are rival businesses so naturally you’ve got to have a way to contact each other. Even if it’s only to gloat about something.”

They studied him for a moment and he kept his stance relaxed, not wanting to give away how worried he was about Crowley right now.

“Who are you?” they eventually asked.

Tony smiled widely.

“I’m Tony Fucking Stark and Gabriel just made a dangerous enemy.”

“I am never writing a contract with you again,” Beelzebub declared fervently. “It wazzz an abzzzolute nightmare.”

“What did you expect?” Stephen scoffed as they all exited the church, Uriel and Michael still glaring Gabriel and Sandalphon into submission. “He’s the businessman. He makes lawyers cry because it’s fun.”

Beelzebub suddenly turned to the angels. “You can have thizzz one. We’re not taking him when he diezzz. He’d probably end up overthrowing Satan because he’zzz bored!”

Michael stopped glaring at Gabriel long enough to give Beelzebub a haughty look.

“Of course he’s going to Heaven at the end of his life.” She said it like it was such a silly thing to even question.

“Okay, so you wrote a contract with Beelzebub and made them regret their life choices,” Crowley said, leaning forward in Aziraphale’s arms and making Stephen glare as he was trying to check on the demon’s injuries. “But how’d you end up meeting the other two archangels?”

Tony’s grin widened.

Beelzebub had a migraine by the time the contract was written and signed. This human was something else and they were fervently glad that it didn’t look like he was heading Downstairs currently. Just to be safe though, they were going to be sure to tell the angels to take him when he died. 

He’d probably spend a month in Hell before instigating a riot and overthrowing Satan just because he was bored.

Tony smugly handed his copy of the contract to the exasperated sorcerer behind him. At least the human was a good host. They’d long since left the binding circle and he’d provided a fantastic wine and comfortable seating.

“So, Crowley’s ours now and Friday will be the one to contact you about summonings. She's a darling. You’ll like her.”

“Another summoning Boss. Egypt this time.” Friday informed them. “Looking forward to working with you. Crowley has mentioned that you prefer they/them pronouns. What would you like me to address you with?”

“Beelzebub,” they answered absently.

Honestly, they weren’t even mad that Tony had managed to get that clause about Crowley into the contract. They were similar with the exception that Tony seemed far more ruthless when chasing what he wanted than Crowley ever was.

He would have made a fine demon…

Refocusing, Beelzebub snapped their fingers and Hastur appeared, taking in the scene in bewilderment. They snapped out an order to go find the demon that got summoned in Egypt and Friday helpfully provided a more specific location.

That would certainly come in handy. It was just a shame they couldn’t kill every human that performed a summoning. The contract was very specific. Wipe their memories and leave them traumatised, sure. They were the ones dumb enough to do a summoning in the first place. There were clauses protecting humans under thirteen from even that and they got a full wipe of the event. There were more clauses covering humans who did the summoning looking to save someone. There were even more covering summonings for sex. Somehow that human had essentially worked out how to give any demon rights during their summoning where they could choose to continue with it or bail. Beelzebub was going to have to create an entire department to cover these things! Every demon who worked there would need to study this (admittedly masterfully crafted) contract so they knew what to do in every situation.

They were rather pleased that the human had also added in a clause that if a full binding was attempted, lethal action was allowed. 

They really couldn’t help but respect and like this human a little.

But never again. It didn’t make up for the nightmare making that contract was.

When Hastur arrived back, no doubt with questions, they shoved their copy of the contract at him to read and turned back to Tony.

“Alright! Hell is done. Now onto the fun stuff.” Tony looked far too gleeful about all of this. Almost manic.

The door opened and a man in a military uniform walked in. One look was all it took for Beelzebub to know that he was going straight Upstairs. Guy was a saint or something.

He stopped and took in the scene before him.

“Tony….” He sounded exasperated.

“I’ll explain later Platypus,” Tony assured him. “On a time crunch and gotta deal with the angels next!”

The man sighed and turned to Beelzebub. He pulled something out of his pocket and tossed it to them. When they caught it they found that it was a box of strong headache tablets.

“You’ll need these,” he told them dryly. “He’s got that look in his eyes.”

And he walked back out.

“Your friend doesn’t seem concerned,” they noted.

“He’s seen me do worse,” Tony shrugged.

...how?

“Anyway, if you would?” he gestured at them.

Pulling a face, they willed a piece of paper into existence and wrote out a quick note to Heaven before sending it on it’s way.

Hastur had apparently reached the part of the contract regarding Crowley and Aziraphale since he started sputtering.

“But Beelzebub! That snake deserves to be taught a lesson!” he argued.

Beelzebub glowered at him. Giving Tony that clause had meant they got a phone that worked in Hell. HELL. They wouldn’t need to go to Earth to deal with phone calls anymore. As far as they were concerned, Tony could have the snake.

Hastur wilted under their glare.

Moments later, Michael and Uriel appeared in a flash, already angry at them blaming Gabriel for all the summonings. 

Beelzebub just sat back and sipped at their wine as Tony jumped to his feet.

“Lovely to meet you,” he declared, pulling them up short. “I understand that it’s hard hearing that a business partner, that family, has done something to screw over the business for their own selfish reasons. I really do. Been through it. My godfather was my business partner and he caused some serious problems just because he wanted more money.”

The human had successfully moved their attention from the two demons and onto Tony. Hastur was still frantically reading the contract, no doubt looking for loopholes that just weren’t there.

“Your godfather?” Michael asked in confusion, blinking rapidly at the screeching halt her anger towards Beelzebub had come to.

Tony nodded somberly. “Yeah, he tried to kill me twice to get control of the company while selling our stuff on the blackmarket.”

The angels looked predictably horrified at that kind of betrayal.

“What happened to him?” Uriel asked.

“Oh, he got blown up by my ex.”

Beelzebub blinked in surprise.

Well…

“But that’s not the important part,” Tony waved it off. “What is important is that I know how you feel. So I’m not asking you to believe me with no proof. I’m asking you to let me show you some proof.”

The angels looked uncertain, glancing at each other.

“Why are they here?” Michael asked, gesturing at the demons.

“Well regardless of who's at fault, humans have gotten a hold of demon summoning rituals and it was getting a bit much for us to keep up with. So Bee and I drew up a contract so that they’d get the demons out without killing all the humans.”

Now the angels looked alarmed while Beelzebub growled at the nickname.

“You signed a contract with them?!” Uriel asked in horror.

“You don’t need to worry,” Stephen spoke up. “It was not a fun experience for the demon.”

“Never again,” Beelzebub downed their wine and poured some more. The headache pills were actually working. They should take some with them to Hell.

“I’m very good at what I do,” Tony told them seriously. “I just don’t do it all that much anymore. Pep usually handles this with the company’s lawyers. She says that I make people cry when I help.”

“A human created this?” Hastur muttered to himself, still reading.

“We’re getting off track here though,” Tony said again. “Here are the basics. Demons are being summoned, which is not a good thing for Heaven I assume. I have a potential reason why. Will you come with and decide if I’m right? Cuts out a lot of work for you guys and you can get on top of the PR shit storm that it could turn into.”

Michael and Uriel looked uncertain for a moment. But it was probably the reference to PR that sealed the deal. 

Public Relations was a necessary evil no matter where you went.

“Very well,” Michael agreed. “But not before we know who you are.”

Tony gave them a dazzling smile. “Tony Stark at your service. My friend here is Dr. Stephen Strange. He’ll be taking you all into the mirror dimension so that you can’t be sensed while I do my thing.”

“Your thing?” Hastur sneered.

Tony didn’t let it bother him. He just turned and smirked at Hastur. 

“I’ve been told that I’ve got a certain talent when it comes to driving people batshit crazy.”

“So they saw everything?” Aziraphale asked in surprise.

“I know what you’re actually asking. Yes, they did see an archangel happy to torture a demon which is apparently a big no no. Admittedly, Heaven earns some brownie points there. I fucking hate torture.”

He said it with such venom that they all just knew he was talking from personal experience.

Michael was frowning slightly. “Yes, Anthony Stark is most certainly heading to Heaven,” she murmured, drawing their attention. “You really are committed to protecting everyone you can, even a demon. Even when your own soul is so strained and torn from life.”

The human stilled. “I’m sure it’s considered rude to be looking at a person’s soul like that,” he mused mildly.

He and Michael stared each other down for a moment before she let the topic drop.

“I’ll admit that you impressed me,” she told him. “We’ve never had a human so ready to face both Heaven and Hell.”

“Eh, you’re business people. I know business people. At least you’re not like Asgard. Fuck but Thor and his warrior race stuff confuses the shit out of me.”

Uriel looked amused. “We are all mostly warriors here as well,” she pointed out.

“But you’re rational warriors,” Tony corrected.

Surprisingly that drew chuckles from Uriel and Michael.

“I suppose,” Michael looked to Gabriel and her expression hardened. “Some of us at least.” She faced Tony again. “We are in your debt Anthony,” she admitted and Aziraphale couldn’t help but gape at the words.

“Nonsense,” Tony waved his hand. 

The archangel wasn’t easily deterred though. “You’ve saved us a large amount of trouble by getting a chance to get ahead of this problem,” she insisted.

Clearly seeing that she wasn’t going to let it go, Tony thought for a brief moment. “How about you leave Aziraphale and Crowley as Earth’s problem and we’re even?” he suggested. “They live on Earth and they’re retired. Agree that they’re under our jurisdiction and it might avoid more problems like this in the future.” He waved vaguely at Gabriel who looked incensed.

Uriel and Michael glanced at each other for a moment before answering.

“Alright, Heaven renounces all rights to them then.”

Aziraphale stared in shock. It wasn’t him being condemned to Fall like he’d worried about since stopping Armageddon. They were just stating that they had no authority over him anymore.

“Hell agrees to the same,” Beelzebub sighed, making Crowley jolt in surprise. “Those two are your problem now.”

Tony gave them all a sunny smile. “Pleasure doing business with you all.”

He pulled out two phones and tossed them to Beelzebub and Michael.

“Those work in Asgard so they should work in Heaven and Hell. Friday will contact you through that Bee. Otherwise, you guys can use them to call me if you end up needing to. Consider me a representative for Earth.”

Beelzebub took the opportunity to leave and vanished, Hastur right behind him.

Michael and Uriel lingered a moment longer.

“You’re an interesting human,” Uriel mused.

“Thank you,” Tony chirped. “I’d hate to be boring.”

They sent him one last assessing glance before vanishing with Gabriel and Sandalphon. Aziraphale almost felt sorry for the two angels. Michael hadn't been this angry in a long time. Not even when they stopped the apocalypse. 

Tony waited for a beat before clapping his hands and spinning around to face the angel and demon.

"Well, that went well. How about we head back to the penthouse so that we can get those injuries treated?"

Dazed, Aziraphale let himself be shuffled through a portal Stephen conjured up. He still wasn't willing to let go of Crowley so he sat down with the demon essentially on his lap.

"That was so dangerous," he finally said when he found his voice again. "What were you thinking Tony?"

The genius sprawled out on the couch across from them while Stephen continued checking Crowley over.

"Don't look so worried Azi," Tony waved the concern off. "I knew what I was doing for the most part. The rest was a calculated risk and I had backup plans."

"I've got to see this contract that traumatised Beelzebub," Crowley made grabby hand motions with his uninjured hand.

Stephen handed the contract to him absently and the demon settled back against Aziraphale's chest to read.

"They're dangerous Tony," Aziraphale fretted.

"I know," Tony acknowledged. "But getting them to back me was the best way to stop Gabriel. Sometimes you've got to take some risks to get the results you want."

Crowley let out a low whistle. "This contract is damn impressive Tony," he said.

The genius preened. "I know, one of my best ones if I do say so myself."

"So… it's fine?" Aziraphale asked hesitantly.

Crowley barked out a laugh. 

"This contract is ironclad, no loopholes. No demon is going to be able to get around the terms of this document. If they try, they'll immediately be sent down to Beelzebub's office."

"That was Bee's idea," Tony added brightly.

"But what if they appear when it's Crowley summoned?" Aziraphale stressed.

"Oh! I almost forgot!" The genius leapt to his feet and darted off.

A minute or so later he returned with two thin metal bracelets. 

"We might have figured out the whole summoning thing. But it'll only work for you two."

Both supernatural entities watched curiously as Tony showed them the bracelets. They were both silver but had a different design. One looked like a snake reaching for its tail and the other looked like a pair of wings with the tips touching.

"A little bit of science and a little bit of magic," he explained. "Now we need a little bit of Heavenly energy." He looked up at Aziraphale. "They'll absorb the energy you give them and that should mean that while you both wear them, Crowley can't be summoned. Since you'll be his new tether. If Heaven can act as a tether to a whole bunch of angels, then one angel should be able to anchor one demon."

Both of them were now gaping at Tony.

It wasn't possible. Was it? First he'd found a way to track the summonings. Then he'd managed to get Heaven and Hell to work with him.

Now he'd found a way to completely stop the summonings?!

Tony held out the bracelets with a grin. “Why don’t you give it a try?” he suggested, looking at Aziraphale.

Numbly, the angel accepted them and could immediately feel the soft hum of magic in them. 

“There’s also a tracker in both of them that only Friday can access. You can never be too safe when you’ve got a habit of pissing powerful people off,” he gave them a self-deprecating grin. “I’ve just given up and shoved the tracker right under my skin but I don’t think you guys need to do that yet.”

Crowley watched curiously as Aziraphale channelled a bit of Grace into both bracelets. As Tony said, they absorbed the energy easily, giving off a soft aura of Heavenly energy.

Not needing any prompting, the demon took the one designed like a snake.

A small smile tugged at his lips. “I can sense you in it Angel,” he murmured.

Without any hesitation, he slipped the metal around his wrist. Aziraphale followed soon after and-

He could actually sense a connection to Crowley. A real, solid connection.

From the way the demon’s eyes widened, he could probably feel it too.

A tether. An anchor.

Aziraphale could have cried.

Tony had managed to find a way for Aziraphale to help Crowley in the end. To keep him safe.

He’d never been given a more precious gift.

"Thank you."