Chapter Text
Leaving your whole life behind, your world, is scary.
You get used to a routine, know exactly how to fit in place and how to act around people, when all the sudden everything comes crashing down and you have to relearn everything.
Sure, learning that your mom you haven’t lived with and haven’t seen in thirteen years had gotten full guardianship of you after your dad died was.. Shocking, to say the least. But knowing you all the sudden had to pack your bags and live with your mom and your little sister you haven’t known since she was only a year old in the U.S was disheartening.
Not that Lucia lived the best life in the Dominican republic. Her dad was an alcoholic, leaving Lucia to spend most of her time living with her friends, jumping from place to place when her father got too aggressive because of his drinking problems. But she was still used to the routine, knew what exactly to do and where to go even if her eyes were to be blindfolded.
Another problem was that Lucia is eighteen, an adult. And sure, while her dad had gained guardianship because of an.. Incident, he never really cared enough to actually enforce any rules and let his daughter run rampant despite court and several mental institutions needing someone to keep a close eye on her. But she just knew her freedom had quickly ended since now her mother practically owned her. She barely remembered her mother, but from what her dad had told her about Camila, she was a tough woman…. Maybe 'tough woman' wasn’t the way he exactly described her, but Lucia wasn’t as disrespectful of women as he was to even think about the kinds of words he used to describe her.
She wouldn’t miss him, she told herself, she would only miss the routine she strictly made herself learn.
Getting off the plane to a whole other continent she had only been in for a short period of her life was absolutely terrifying, the looks people gave her, the commotion, the amount of people here in general. Did people visit Connecticut this much? She had even forgotten this state existed until she was boarding the damn plane.
Lucia took a deep breath to settle her rising nerves. Everything was going to be fine, for the most part.
Dark brown and unsure eyes scanned the airport, trying to locate any somewhat familiar face in the crowd. She could’ve easily sent a text to Camila asking where she was, but Lucia had broken her phone six months ago during an altercation and had never gotten a replacement, not that she used it as much anyways. But then she saw two figures holding up a cardboard sign that said ‘Welcome home, Lucia!’ with some cartoony smiley faces and hearts drawn around it.
This definitely isn’t her home, but being welcomed regardless feels.. Nice. Especially when the shorter figure looked so nervous yet excited. Lucia guessed that it was her sister, Luz? She’d only seen the kid when she was a year old, and still she didn’t remember much about her since she was so young herself at the time. But seeing how much her younger sister resembled her made Lucia smile a little, trotting over to the two of them with a new found excitement under all the nervousness.
Camila was the first to notice her, dropping the cardboard sign to quickly offer a hug to her daughter, which Lucia returned, albeit a bit hesitant. “Ay mija! It's so good to see you, you’ve grown so much!” the woman broke the hug to look up at Lucia, her eyes watering. Lucia wished she could feel as excited as her, to feel anything towards seeing her mother again after all these years. But all she could do was nod and force a smile.
Her mother seemed to mistake her silence as nervousness(she was half right, anyways) and just put a hand on her shoulder in reassurance, leading her to the shorter girl who was waiting very patiently for her opportunity to meet her big sister for the first time. “Luz, this is Lucia, dile hola!” her mother spoke up, now taking her place next to Luz, who was all the sudden almost bouncing with anxiety.
“um..H-hi!” She waved shyly, in which Lucia genuinely smiled at and offered her hand to her younger sister.
“Hey, wow i haven’t seen you since you were a little ugly baby.” She said before she could even process it, noticing her mom frown at her comment. But Luz just laughed, shaking her sister's hand.
“Mami always said i was cute when i was a baby, now i don’t know who to believe!” Luz pressed the back of her hand dramatically against her forehead, leaning her head back a little. In which Lucia just chuckled and ruffled the smaller girl's hair in response, her mom at least abandoned the frown and replaced it with a small smile.
“C’mon chicas, it's late and we have to get home so you can unpack”
“Oh Lucia, I can carry your things! I can be your awesome big sister!”
“But i'm older than you” Lucia raised a brow at the smaller girl who swooped in and snatched the luggage from her hands, grinning ear to ear as she happily trotted away. Then she stopped and turned around to look at Camila with a nervous smile. “You don’t happen to know where the parking lot is, right mami? Not that I forgot where it was.. Because I didn’t!”
Camila only sighed and led the way, Lucia couldn’t help but laugh. Maybe this wouldn't be as awkward and uncomfortable after all. Sure, seeing her mom was strange and it made Lucia want to turn around and happily live in the streets of Santo Domingo instead of having to deal with all of.. this, but Luz at least seemed to have enough excitement for the both of them to make up for it.
The drive was long but not as painfully quiet as Lucia thought it would be, Luz had happily sat in the back with her and began chatting up a storm. She didn’t mind though, her little sister’s enthusiasm and energy was actually very appreciated considering the circumstances.
“Oh oh! You gotta meet Amity! She’s, um-” Luz pursed her lips a little, suddenly growing a little shy. “She’smygirlfriend” She said so quickly Lucia almost missed it, she rose a brow at Luz’s sudden timidness. Was Luz expecting her to be weirded out by it?
“Una novia, ah?” Lucia waggled her eyebrows, almost snorting at how quickly Luz’s face flushed. “That’s cute, I remember having my first girlfriend around your age, I hope she isn’t as crazy as her though” Lucia tried to ease the girl's nerves, which worked because the small frown was quickly replaced with a blinding grin.
“She actually almost got me dissected once!” Luz said in a way too cheerful tone, Lucia narrowed her eyes, but before she could ask how in the world dissection even became a possibility the younger Noceda cut her off, “But she’s super nice now, but between you and me... “ She got closer to Lucia, squinting her eyes. “I think she’s a witch”
“A.. witch?
“Yeah! She somehow figured out I liked her back when I took her to the carnival, I couldn't have been that obvious! She clearly read my mind, like a sneaky witch!”
Lucia raised an eyebrow, trying to figure out whether Luz was joking or not but.. She found no hints of Luz messing with her, she seemed absolutely serious about this bold claim and Lucia almost wanted to laugh, Almost.
“What ride did you take her too?”
“The tunnel of love, why?”
Lucia only narrowed her eyes, again, trying to find any sort of hint in her sister's expression that she was just messing with her. She couldn't be that oblivious, right?
But yet again, she found none. Lucia exhaled.
"She's definitely a witch, then."
-----
Finally arriving at the small, but seemingly cozy house really solidified the fact that this was all really happening, not the time of her dad’s funeral, not the second she boarded a couple planes to finally arrive in Connecticut, but this. Standing in front of the same house she was raised in for five years before moving with her dad.
She suddenly felt a hand on her shoulder, it was soft, reassuring, welcoming (she guessed). But Lucia couldn’t feel any of these things, instead she tensed a bit, looking down at her mother who genuinely seemed happy. “Welcome home, Cariño. Luz prepared you a bed in her room, she can show you around but then it's lights out, she’s already past her bedtime." Camila then looked a little more serious, making sure to whisper the next part, "We'll talk tomorrow, okay?"
Talk? She didn't know whether she was ready or not to talk... Alone… With her mom. Not now, and definitely not tomorrow At least. Maybe in a few weeks.. Months.. Years. Hell, maybe Lucia just didn't want to talk about it at all. What would they need to discuss anyways? Things the two of them already knew?
It'd be a waste of time, anyways. How she felt wasn't going to change in the end.
Lucia frowned, deciding not to respond to the whole 'talking' thing.
“Luz’s room?” She glanced over at her sister who was currently rolling Lucia’s luggage along with her.“I can sleep on the couch? No quiero invadir su privacidad..”
“She was the one who wanted you to stay with her until we prepared something for you, don’t worry too much and relax, okay mija? I know it’s been.. hard”
Understatement of the century, Lucia thought, only giving Camila a small nod before following her inside the house, Luz trotting along with them excitedly. The inside was nice at least, smelled nice and was actually clean. She had given up cleaning her home when living with her dad a long time ago, he always managed to mess it up in a matter of seconds. So this was a nice change, though she still felt bad having to invade Luz’s personal space, even if Luz herself actually didn’t mind sharing her room.
“Luz, don’t stay up too late. You show Lucia where she’s sleeping then it's off to bed for you both” Camila sternly told Luz, who apparently had been trying to sneak up quietly up the stairs before her mother could even say anything, she sighed dramatically loud and nodded, pouting. Lucia just snickered and followed behind Luz up the stairs, who grumbled something about being too old for bedtimes, despite it being around two in the morning.
“Hey, I can sleep on the couch, y’know? You didn’t have to prepare anything for me” Lucia frowned, but Luz only shook her head and opened her bedroom door, turning on the lights to reveal.. The most nerdiest room Lucia had ever seen.
Posters and figurines everywhere, books lined neatly on shelves. Lucia adored it, definitely her dream room when she was around Luz’s age at a time where she was actually happy and thought nothing could ever go wrong. Gone were those days.
But at least Luz was happy, there was no resentment or envy towards the younger Noceda, Lucia was only proud she didn’t share the same fate in life.
“Top bunk is all yours! And this drawer!” she pointed at the bunk bed with one hand, and at the seemingly new drawer near Luz’s clearly used one with another. That dumb smile never leaving her face. “And don’t worry about sharing a room.. I’ve-- um..” Luz took a deep shaky breath, then let it out slowly in an attempt to calm herself down. “I always wanted a sister, and when mami told me you were gonna come live with us i got so excited! So really, don’t worry. My room is your room!”
Lucia was too tired to really argue back at this point, but she knew she couldn’t stay in Luz’s room forever, but at least being here for a few days until they could clear up the basement or something was good enough for the older Noceda to sleep peacefully at night without feeling too guilty.
Without any more discussions, both girls took their respective showers, one after the other, and adopted something way more comfortable to wear. Luz of course had her nerdy matching ‘Azura’ Pj’s while Lucia just had a tanktop and workout shorts on, which Luz thought was sad for some reason. Promising to take Lucia out to get her ‘Proper matching pajamas’, although Lucia had tried to tell her how it really wasn’t important.
But the younger Noceda wasn’t taking no for an answer, so Lucia just decided to accept the offer and climb up to her new bed, hearing the girl underneath her giggling in excitement at the prospect of going shopping with her sister, though Lucia didn’t find it as exciting as her. She did, however, like the idea of spending some time with her sister, this was one relationship Lucia genuinely didn’t want to screw up.
“Hey.. Lucia?” The younger Noceda whispered, snapping Lucia out of her thoughts.
“Yeah?”
“Can I ask you something?” She asked hesitantly, Lucia felt her stomach turn. She knew what was about to happen. She knows she should tell the kid to go to sleep and not worry about anything until morning, one peaceful night. Just one.
“Of course you can, que pasa?” Just one.
“Can you.. Um.. Tell me about dad? I never met him, and mom never talks about him...”
Lucia let out a shaky breath she didn’t realise she had been holding, her hand running their fingers through her damp hair. Luz didn’t need to know about the bad things, not yet anyways. “He was.. Difficult,” Lucia pathetically chuckled, feeling something sting at the corner of her eyes. “A total dork when he wanted to be.. You definitely got your nerdy side from him, y’know.”
“He was a nerd?”
“Oh for sure! He would not stop rambling about star wars or whatever nerdy shit half the time, he’d make me watch it too” Lucia scoffed, not noticing the smile forming on her lips and the silent tears slowly making their way down her cheeks. “But he.. He got, um, sad. Really sad, and I couldn't do anything about it to make him happy again.”
The room fell silent all of a sudden.
Why? Why was she crying now? She didn’t even shed a tear at his funeral. But now, talking to Luz about him made her remember that she did in fact have good memories of him, despite all the bad that came afterwards. She suddenly missed her home, missed her friends. Missed the familiarity, the people who despite Lucia not making the best decisions, supported her regardless. Hell, it hadn’t been a full day but she even missed her highschool. Why was she feeling so homesick all the sudden?
“I’m sorry, i-- shouldn’t have asked. I didn’t mean to make you feel sad.. ” She heard Luz speak up all the sudden, concern and fear hidden in her tone. Had she heard the older Noceda cry? Lucia cleared her throat and used one hand to brush away the fallen tears that stained her cheeks.
“No, it’s okay. You deserve to know more.. I don't know why Camila hasn’t told you anything, he’s your dad too.” She said a little frustrated, feeling thankful she managed to keep her voice calm and steady.
Luz thought about asking why Lucia referred to mom as just Camila, but decided against it, quickly snapped her mouth shut. She wasn’t stupid, she had noticed how quiet and tense Lucia would get all the sudden whenever mom even glanced at her direction. And they had only been around each other for a few hours since the drive from the airport back home!
She didn’t know why Lucia had left at such a young age while Luz got to stay, her mom deciding it wasn’t important enough to even tell her what happened. And she had the feeling her older sister didn’t want to tell her either, or at least wasn’t prepared to.
Nevertheless, she was happy Lucia was here. And no matter what she’d make sure she was happy.
“You promise to tell me everything one day?” She asked expectantly, chewing on her bottom lip nervously. This was already asking for a lot, and maybe she’d crossed a boundary already, but if mom didn’t want to tell her anything, then Lucia would, right?
The whole minute of silence felt like an hour, but she felt Lucia shift a little on the bed above her before she suddenly spoke up, “I promise.”
“Cross your heart?”
Lucia snickered, “Cross my heart, dork. Now go to sleep.”
The silence that enveloped them afterwards was comfortable, warm. And for the first time in years, Lucia fell asleep right away.