Chapter Text
It must have been around twelve AM, the pitch black dark of night. L felt something brush against his hand and groggily pulled himself out of sleep, lying on his side and opening his eyes to his dark room. In the shadowy corner loomed a figure. The moonlight from the window reflected intricate lines of white bone across an enormous body, and the gleaming of one haunting, yellow eye, like a wolf through the forest pines. L felt his chest go tense and swallowed. He didn’t move a muscle, staring at her - at the Shinigami. All that he asked, in a low voice, was this: “Are you going to kill me?”
Rem took little time in answering. “Perhaps,” she said, “That depends on you.”
“I see. What do I have to do to survive this encounter?”
“Not much,” she said. She stepped across the room to the window, where she pulled aside the curtain and stared at the moon, soaking herself in blue moonlight. “I believe that you and I are cut from the same cloth. Therefore, I’d prefer not to kill you.” Then, she paused, and said, “You can sit up, you know. I’m not so cruel as to kill you just for that.”
His eyes still locked on her enormous form, he obeyed, sitting upright in his bed and watching her at the window. “Cut from the same cloth?” he asked, “How is it you and I are the same?”
Rem’s great bony shoulders slouched. When she spoke, there was an empty and despondent tone in her deep voice. “We are both cursed,” she said.
She went silent again. Cautiously, L prompted her more. “How so?”
“Cursed by Kira, of course. Not the same Kira. But I have little doubt the sorrow is very much the same.”
“By Kira…” he whispered in return. It took him a moment longer than usual to understand - affairs of the heart, after all, were not the first place his logical mind jumped to. But he did understand. Her and Misa, it had to be, since she was attached to her Death Note and must have served as her personal shinigami for some time. Following the same logic, it had to be him and… He didn’t think that anyone knew. Anyone beside himself. But more importantly, after all this, he at last had confirmation. The shinigami herself had said it, and it could be no one else. The first and second Kira, Light and Misa. He had been right all along. “Am I to understand that you believe Light and Misa to be the first and second Kira?” he asked, then followed with, “Why are you telling me this?”
Rem didn’t answer. “If you wish to live,” she said instead, “You must follow my advice. I will give you two pieces of it. The first is your choice to obey or not, as I say it only for your benefit. The second will determine whether you live, or die.”
“I understand,” L answered.
“My first piece of advice is this,” she began. She looked upwards at the moon, and sighed. “Find someone who loves you without shame or hesitation. Man, or woman. It doesn’t matter. Someone who adores you for the strange things about you, your diet or your hatred of shoes, perhaps. You must not settle for anyone who offers you anything less than adoration - They are misery incarnate.”
L didn’t answer her, staring at her for a long moment with wide eyes. At last, uncomfortably, he said, “Very kind advice, coming from a shinigami.”
“I told you. We’re cut from the same cloth. It’s too late for me. Perhaps, if we are both lucky, it isn’t for you,” she explained calmly.
“This is the piece of advice that I may choose to follow or not, correct?”
“Yes,” she answered firmly, “It is your choice.”
He looked away and thought for a moment, then turned back to her. “Then what is the second?”
Here, she stood up straight, and turned to face him, the stare of her bright yellow eye burning into his soul. “Do not pursue the investigation tomorrow any further than you already have. Tell no one that we have spoken and do not act as though anything has changed. Simply come up with a reason that the investigation must be halted and I will take care of the rest. After tomorrow, you may continue as you were before. But it is imperative that tomorrow you do not make any further progress towards the investigation of Kira.”
L considered the people who would likely die due to his obedience. And yet, he wasn’t so selfless. Would he really die for strangers? Strangers who might not even die? What was the likelihood? His head buzzed with percentages. 45% chance of one death, 28% chance of two. What were the odds of ten, of fifty?
“If you are concerned about the deaths in the interim,” said Rem, halting his train of thought, “It will all be taken care of. I give you my word.”
The word of a Shinigami… He didn’t know enough about them to know if it was worth its salt. But what other choice did he have? “In that case,” he said, “I will do as you wish.”
“Thank you,” she said, “And… I’m sorry.”
Before he could ask what she meant, she was gone, slipped into the darkness as the curtain fell back to cover the room and blackness swallowed the air. A cold, sinking feeling shot deep into his gut. Part of him already knew what she planned to do. The allusions to his love for Light, the way she would ‘take care of’ the killings.
Deep in the city, he heard the church bells tolling one.
“Watari,” L said over the phone. His voice was still tired with sleep, and quiet, so as to not be heard. That same night he sat with his feet over the edge of his bed, the phone held loosely against his ear.
“Yes, Ryuzaki. What’s the matter?”
“I have come by new information. I need you to do me a favor,” he ordered coolly.
“What is it?”
“At precisely eight AM tomorrow morning, you must infect my computer system with a virus that will delete all information stored on it.”
Watari sputtered for a moment,
“But… that will take days to restore! It will set back weeks of progress and give Kira the upper hand! You’re certain you don’t want me to use a fake virus? It’s well within my capabilities.”
“No. We’re working with people too intelligent to take risks. It is imperative that any further investigation will be impossible for the rest of tomorrow. The damage should be severe enough that it takes at least twenty-four hours to repair sufficiently.”
“I… I see,”
he stammered hesitantly,
“I hope you know what you’re doing, L.”
“Please just do as I say,” he responded calmly.
Watari sighed.
“As you wish.”
“Oh, and Watari - Tell no one of what I’ve discussed with you tonight.”
“ I understand.”
“Thank you,” L finished, and hung up the phone, closing it beside him. He set it on his bedside table, and then took to staring at the wall - he didn’t sleep for the rest of the night.