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“Emma! You’ll never believe it! I just met this little Scottish girl who I may have accidentally invited to travel with us!” The Doctor shouted as he bounced into the TARDIS. He paused and frowned at the fact that Emma hadn’t said anything, either about his driving or his absent mindedness. She wouldn’t have passed up this opportunity to tease him.
Fear filled him. Emma had probably been injured in the crash and he’d completely forgotten about her. Not that that was his fault, the regeneration must’ve done funny things to his brain.
He launched himself to the other side of the console and sucked in a worried breath at the sight of Emma sprawled on the floor, her beautiful honey coloured hair fanned out around her.
When he scooped her up in his arms, his blood froze in his veins as the realization hit him like a stone.
He’s too late.
Emma is dead, limp and lifeless.
“No. No No No No! Emma Please!” He knew it was useless, but as his tears hit her cheeks, he so desperately hoped that she’d open her gorgeous green eyes and laugh at his overreaction before kissing his cheek and wiping his tears away. He pressed her harder against him, cradling her limp form to rest his chin on her shoulder, fisted her shirt in his hands and let out a noise that he could only describe as agony.
He’d thought that nothing could ever hurt as much as watching Gallifrey burn, knowing that his heart was breaking right along with his planet.
He was wrong. That was nothing compared to finally having his heart put back together only to have it be shattered again.
Promise me! Promise me you won’t regret me!
The Doctor’s not sure if he’s just remembering Emma’s words from the last time he’d held her in his arms like this, when he’d been sure he was going to lose her, or if the TARDIS is doing something. But it doesn’t matter either way because he had promised Emma, and while he’s broken quite a few of the promises he’s made in the past, this is one he can’t break and come back from.
“Doctor? What’s wrong?” Lillian asked as she entered the TARDIS, stopping dead at the sight of his newly regenerated from. He must look like a horrible mess, and he couldn’t make eye contact with her as she took in the casket and what it meant. He shoved down the guilt that was bubbling in his gut before he started the TARDIS and flew silently until they were in open space.
“It can’t be opened and it’s virtually indestructible. It’ll also stay away from gravitational pulls. Emma can travel the stars forever,” The Doctor explained around the lump in his throat as he opened the door. His tears started again, silently this time. Lillian came up behind him and slid her hand into his.
“Emma would love that,” Lillian agreed and between the two of them they pushed Emma out. After they stood in the door for a while, watching her drift into further into space.
“I almost saved her. I wanted to. So very badly. But saving her meant that I would have had to cross my own timeline to do it and it would’ve ripped a hole in the universe. She never would have forgiven me if I picked her over the universe.” Lillian reached up, wrapped her arms around him and hugged him gently.
“You’re right. She never would have forgiven you for that. Maybe you couldn’t save Emma, but it seems to me that you made sure that she’d be happy.” Lillian pulled away from the hug and looked him in the eyes. The Doctor smiled sadly at her before he looked back out towards space.
“I’ll never regret you Emma.” He wouldn’t, but he’d never forgive himself for the fact that he hadn’t told Emma how much he loved her.
“And I promise I’ll tell all the companions that come next all about you.”
“Please. I need to know there’s a world out there where I can save her.” The Doctor begged the Face of Boe. He was the only one that the Doctor could think of who could maybe be able to get a message to another universe.
You can’t save her
At the Face of Boe’s words visions filled the Doctor’s head, of Emma dying over and over. Dying in the car crash that had killed her mother. At the Battle of Canary Wharf, taking lunch to Ianto and Lisa to surprise them. In the first wave of killing during the Year that Never Was at the Master’s orders. When the Daleks had kidnapped the Earth and she’d been sacrificed to Davros’ experimentation of the reality bomb. Killed by the Krillitanes on her twenty sixth birthday because they hadn’t run into each other early enough. In his previous self’s arms on Typus Seven.
The Doctor felt his knees buckle as he saw more worlds go past. Every single time it had been too close in this world, the ones that had made him hold Emma a little tighter, showing him all the different ways it had gone wrong.
Emma’s death couldn’t be a fixed point. Surely the universe couldn’t be cruel enough to rip away the one thing that had made him really and truly happy since the Time War in every single world.
Just as he began to lose hope the visions stopped on one of Emma leaning against the TARDIS console and laughing with his previous self. He closed his eyes and smiled sadly while new, fresh tears rolled down his cheeks as he let her laughter and smile wash over him. He already missed her so much, more than he could ever dream to put words to.
But perhaps with our help, she can save herself. The Doctor nodded to the Face of Boe.
“We have to try.”
The Doctor had hoped she’d be there when he saw his past self, but his hope hadn’t prepared him for the overwhelming emotions that slammed into him when Emma stumbled into the clearing. She appeared to disregard him, as she was too busy already haranguing the other Doctor for leaving her to fend for herself to notice him. A lump appeared in his throat, a mix of emotions that he couldn’t place, and he was suddenly, viciously reminded of how much he’s missed her.
“Emma,” He breathed and it’s about all the warning he gives her before he throws his arms around her and drags her against him. She gasped in shock, nearly bringing him to tears at the fact that she’s alive. Beautifully and wonderfully alive. A few hundred years have passed since he lost his Emma and time hasn’t managed to dull the pain. Part of him thinks that it never will.
“Oh! Oh, it’s alright. Everything’s alright.” Emma murmured into his shoulder, while reaching up and smoothing his hair down. The Doctor presses his lips to the top of her head and feels the tears press harder at his eyes. He’s not even her Doctor, but she’s still comforting him, making sure he’s okay and he doesn’t think he’s ever loved her more.
She must have realized where he’s from, which means she’s seen the message from the Face of Boe and that she managed to save herself. Or will save herself, as he’s not sure where she is timeline wise in this world.
He wondered what the Face of Boe showed her, if he showed her the way he’d bounced into the TARDIS so excited for her to meet Amy. How he’d held her in his arms and screamed. How he’d wept bitterly when he and Lillian had given her a funeral in space. How he’d begged the Face of Boe to find a world where she was still alive, and save her.
“Emma.” It’s the Other Doctor who says her name this time, concern laced in his tone. The Other Doctor has figured out where he’s from too and the instant they make eye contact over Emma’s head, he breaks it. As he released Emma, he could tell from the look in the Other Doctor’s eyes that he’s completely and utterly, desperately in love with Emma. He suspects that the Other Doctor has read something in his eyes as the Other Doctor looks between him and Emma with something akin to horror flickering in his eyes. The Doctor can’t really blame him because he’s not sure how well he would have coped if their positions had been reversed
Emma distracts the Other Doctor by going back to haranguing him as the two Elizabeth’s disappear, as if to reassure the Other Doctor that he’s still her favourite. She still sends the Doctor comforting smiles every few seconds though and he can’t help the grin that’s forming.
Emma’s desperately in love with the Other Doctor too. The Doctor wondered idly if either of them knew about the other’s feelings.
Then the Other Other Doctor that isn’t the Doctor appeared and things got a touch more complicated.