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The skyscrapers stab into the sky, each reaching a point like the blade of a knife as it breaks up the horizon. The city lights bleed an electric white so bright it’s nearly blue. Reiji is certain he could pinpoint the guild’s own tower if he really tried - and he does. A bright red sword piercing through the lights, loudly declaring to all what exactly it is. Japan’s pride and joy, the draw sword guild.
And yet, one of their leaders doesn’t sleep within those quarters, or else Reiji would be inside the building rather than looking at it. No, Goto decides to slumber elsewhere, leaving his secured room to collect dust.
A sharp breeze bites into Reiji’s skin, making him even colder, but he doesn’t retreat inside. He’s not really sure if he’s welcome inside, anyway. Goto seemed pretty mad about something before storming out earlier that morning.
They were meant to train. Maybe that’s what pissed him off - Goto gets mad about the strangest things. But, they were supposed to train for the upcoming Jeju raid, and Reiji figured it would be good to get some teamwork exercises in regardless. Akari and Kenzo teamed up against Minoru and Kanae automatically, and Reiji divided up the rest - Atsushi and Mari joined Kenzo, and Ippei, Kei, and Tatsumi joined Minoru. Reiji and Goto were going to alternate being on Kenzo’s team. A solid plan, Reiji thought, yet when Goto heard about it, his eyes became that dark shade when he’s truly, terribly mad. The more Reiji explained the idea - once a person’s ribbon was taken, they were considered eliminated - the more Goto glowered at him. Once he’d finished explaining the premises, Goto declared training canceled, and walked out... though if Reiji and the team continued training, that was none of his business.
Reiji knows Goto trusts in his own strength, and that’s not to say Reiji doesn’t. Reiji just... needs reassurance. Training gives him that reassurance. Gives him proof that he’s strong, that he can do this. Tells him that his teammates can make it through, too, and that he doesn’t need to hold their hand all the time. He needs that. Goto clearly doesn’t. Which, sure, ok fine, they’re different people and they have different needs and wants and all that. But the thing with Goto, he rarely ever wants to compromise. He won’t just sometimes allow Reiji to have this one thing, just to appease him, no. Goto doesn’t try to appease anyone but his own self, and sometimes Matsumoto, when he remembers that he’s only a guild leader and not the chairman of the Japanese Hunter’s Association. Though, if Reiji were to compare the two based solely on power, then yes, Goto was obviously stronger. Matsumoto is only human after all.
But when all’s said and done, Goto doesn’t try to do anything for others that he genuinely doesn’t want to do. It can be pretty admirable to watch when he won’t bend to a single hunter, no matter how strong or intimidating they are. But it’s an entirely different hell when you’re on the receiving end of that stubborn streak of his.
So, Reiji may or may not have tracked down where he lives, and now waits for him to arrive so they can have a civilized discussion. Or something akin to that. Though there’s a very fair chance they’ll just resort to fighting. Honestly? Reiji is so fed up he wouldn’t mind taking a few blows if that meant he got to literally, physically knock some sense into Goto.
Because, the other thing about Goto, is that he never really... talks . Or says what’s wrong. Reiji has been playing guessing games all this time, and it’s getting to him. Even now, Reiji can only guess training might be what ticked Goto off - he doesn’t know for certain that it’s what bothered Goto. It could be that he just woke up angry. It could be that he ran out of coffee. It could be something he refuses to tell a single person, something that’s eating him up inside, something that causes him to lash out randomly like this, because it’s fucking Goto for christ’s sake. Of-fucking-course he’d bottle something up and act prickly about it yet give no clue to those around, no warning, no “hey i might be mad for a few days, please just leave me alone,” because that would be asking too much, wouldn’t it?
Fuck. Goto isn’t even here and Reiji is getting mad. Just the thought, just the damn thought of the bastard is enough to get Reiji riled up. He tries to keep his mana in check, standing on the balcony, but the prick of warmth makes the bite of the wind less harsh, so he lets it sit in his veins, lets it warm him up some as he continues his wait.
It’s what - 11 pm? 12 am? Reiji lets out a bark of laughter as his phone gives him the answer - 1:02 am . Where in the world is that bastard? He can’t imagine he’s ever that busy, not enough to keep him out the house until 1 am. And he doesn’t seem like the type to drink at bars, Reiji thinks, eyeballing Goto’s varied liquor cabinet. Fuck, a shot kind of sounds nice right now. Would it be worth it? Potentially pissing Goto off even more? He’s already broken into the man's house, Reiji reasons. Better not.
Reiji studies the rest of the living room, leaning back on the balcony railing. The city lights allow Reiji to see at least parts of it. The used but soft sectional couch, with takeout boxes strewn down one length, and a muddle of blankets on the other. A sad and terribly thin looking lamp across from it, settled behind a TV. Reiji spots a few controllers sitting underneath it, along with a concerning amount of soda cans. Reiji doesn’t even have to keep looking to know that Goto’s house is just, in general... a mess. A pigsty really. For such an impressive view, and practically a penthouse, it's not all that well furnished, and there’s clutter just about everywhere Reiji looks. The balcony is perhaps the cleanest spot in the whole place.
Reiji itches to just clean it for him, at least throw away the damn trash, but something tells him that Goto would be mad about that, too.
This mess , this pigsty habit is only a recent development, much like Goto’s attitude. Reiji knows when he recruited that young man, that he was not like this. It’s so strange to remember the old Goto, the one before he reawakened. Only a mid-tier A-rank, yet well liked by everyone. He did his part, and more, always looking out for the team. He remembers eagerly waiting by the testing site, snatching him up first, pitching the Draw Sword guild to him. How genuine he was, how respectful, Reiji could just tell he had a good heart. Goto wore everything on his sleeve back then. Now? God knows where he hides all his emotions. Up something that Reiji isn’t allowed to say, but he can sure as hell think it.
Is this what power and strength does to people? Is that how people see Reiji? Just... some stubborn S-ranker that butts into everything, cold and unattached, not sparing a single glance at those weaker than him? Is that all S-rankers, really? Well, he knows this stereotype is not without reason - Goto is living proof. Reiji just wonders if, perhaps, he could be a hypocrite. If maybe Akari and Kenzo and everyone else thinks like this about Reiji. He sucks in his breath as another breeze cuts through him - he really hopes that it’s not the case. Because, even though Goto may get under his skin, he cares about the man. He hopes Goto knows that. Maybe he ought to make it clearer - he can’t berate Goto for being cold when Reiji isn’t even warm towards him most times.
As he rubs his naked arms, sucking in breath after breath, he hears the doorknob turn. Fucking finally . It only took Goto forever .
Not even a split second after Reiji has taken a step forward, there’s a swift breeze that is definitely not natural. He barely has time to register the blade aiming for his neck, quickly reverting his steps, his back hitting the railing with more force than he’d have liked. A hiss escapes his throat as the cold bar touches skin, but it’s silenced as the blade now gently presses into the side of his neck.
White, shimmery eyes with just the faintest touch of gold stare back at him over the ruby red blade. Reiji stares back, struggling to keep his mana in check. Goto doesn’t do the same; he can feel his presence fill the air, seep into every molecule, the air practically humming with the silent whisper of Ryuji Ryuji Ryuji . That unmistakable bloodlust-filled presence he’s felt time and time again when another hunter bumps heads with him. Or, when Reiji has really irritated him this time - like now.
Goto looks like he’d rather have his hand on Reiji’s neck than a blade, if he’s being honest. He quickly pushes that thought out of his mind - he doesn’t need that right now.
He gently nudges the blade away from his neck with a finger, and surprisingly doesn’t get much resistance. Though Reiji breaks his gaze to watch the blade as it’s lowered down, he can feel Goto’s eyes burning into him. The amount of mana emanating from him doesn’t even flicker - that was always the impressive thing about Goto. His anger was oddly... stable. It never really wavered. He could always keep his mana perfectly level in any situation. A rock in a storm. Reiji certainly feels a storm coming on.
“I have half a brain to cut you where you stand,” Goto hisses, and they both know it’s an empty threat, but Reiji swallows nervously all the same.
“I needed to find you. You weren’t in your room at the dorm building.”
“So how exactly did you know I’d be here ?” the sword is swung over his shoulder on the last word for emphasis, and Goto shifts his stance, raising an eyebrow at Reiji.
“I will not reveal my sources,” Reiji says, but he knows there’s only two other people that know where Goto lives - Matsumoto, because of course he does, and Minoru. Sweet, innocent Minoru. Reiji hopes Goto doesn’t chew him out for caving to his insistent questioning.
“Dammit, Minoru,” Goto mutters more to himself than Reiji, and then takes a step back.
He takes one long look at Reiji before pivoting and walking back inside, beckoning the man with a finger, and Reiji obliges. He shuts the glass door behind him with a thud , and then the flat is eerily quiet, the sounds of the city completely mute. Goto’s sword is propped against the couch, the kitchen lights refracted inside of it. Before Reiji can follow Goto into the kitchen, Goto points at the couch sternly.
“You sit there, and you don’t fucking move.”
... Reiji guesses he’ll be sitting here and not fucking moving, then. As Goto makes what Reiji can only guess is coffee, he tries to pick through the several blankets and pillows piled up on the couch. Admittedly, he gets a little out of hand with it, carefully folding up the three blankets and setting the pillows as nicely as possible before finally sitting. As soon as his ass so much as touches the couch, Goto’s thrust a cup into his hands and falls gracelessly onto the couch.
“Why’d you - what?” Goto mutters as he takes in the neat blankets and pillows, scowling as he reaches over Reiji’s lap for one.
“Move,” he tells Reiji, but he doesn’t even get a chance to do so, Goto shoving him into the side, pulling the other two blankets over his lap and looping the third around his shoulders - undoing the work Reiji spent the last five minutes doing in one blow. He’d complain if he weren’t so cold and the blankets so warm.
No, actually, Reiji thinks he will complain.
“I spent the last five minutes folding them,” Reiji says after sipping from his cup, “and you undid my work just like that?”
Goto remains unfazed, “I didn’t ask you to fold them. Besides,” he continues staring at Reiji, his expression unreadable as ever, “it’s what you get for standing on my balcony for who knows how long. Were you trying to freeze yourself?”
“I thought you’d be back soon,” Reiji sulks a little bit, drinking his coffee to avoid embarrassing himself further.
Reiji isn’t really sure what to do - Goto is in a good mood, and he doesn’t want to dampen that by bringing up this morning, or any of the other topics he wanted to talk to Goto about. This is quite possibly the worst time to do that.
But Goto beats him to the punch, souring his own mood as he sets his cup down and fixes Reiji with a level stare. Thank god Goto’s the one doing it. He really didn’t want to break the ice. If they were to call it a night and Reiji left right then and there he wouldn’t mind, all the fight knocked out of him upon seeing Goto in a decent mood.
“Why were you waiting for me, anyway?”
With a sigh, Reiji gives up on the idea of this interaction ending on a good note. It seems no matter what positives they have in their relationship, they’re quickly chased down by negatives. Ah, well. Goto will have to make do with going back to hating Reiji.
“I wanted to discuss this morning,” and there it is, Reiji can see the way the tiny hint of emotion drains from his eyes, that wall being put up once again. Reiji feels like he’s back in the cold again, shivering outside Goto’s door when he knows Goto will never let him in. The storm has come back full force. He was right - Reiji knew he wouldn’t be welcome here.
“What’s there to discuss?”
Reiji frowns, shrugging the blanket off his shoulders, “Everything. Would you mind explaining your thought process on canceling training?”
“If they’re good enough fighters, they won’t need training.” The stare Goto gives him is almost... challenging. He wants Reiji to pick a fight at this point. Did this man not just throw a cup of coffee into his hands, toss three blankets on him and call him dumb for standing in the cold?
“Now that’s just not true,” Reiji counters after a second, eyes zeroing in on Goto’s.
The man in question shrugs, “Then they should’ve been born better.”
Now, Reiji likes to think of himself as a rational man. He doesn’t get angry easily. But Goto just pushes his buttons just right , just enough to really get under his skin. It doesn’t matter - he wanted to walk into this conversation angry enough to ignore the mild guilt clawing at him. Well. He’s got what he wanted. And at this rate, Goto will probably get what he wants, too - a fight, and maybe his hands on Reiji’s neck.
“Born better?” Reiji grits his teeth, “You did not just say they should’ve been born better, Ryuji,” yet his eyes, challenging as ever, tell Reiji all he needs to know.
“You know why we train,” Reiji manages to say evenly, “you know that it’s just to be careful, Ryuji.”
“The raid will determine if they’re good enough. Being careful or not doesn’t matter now. It won’t change the outcome of Jeju,” Goto responds in turn.
There’s just no convincing him. Every time, Reiji argues because he hopes he can change Goto’s stubborn streak, that maybe this one argument will be the one to end them all. And every time, by the end of it, Reiji is angry and tired and so incredibly done as he comes to the same conclusion. There is just no convincing Goto.
“You’re a fool ,” Reiji hisses as he rubs his face.
“ I’m the fool here?” Goto asks, and oh, alright, the insults are starting now Reiji guesses.
“No, you’re right,” Reiji looks up from his hands, meeting Goto head on, anger controlling them both like puppets, “I’m the fool for thinking you could ever change. That you could ever see reason through that fog clouding your head.”
“You’re the one that refuses to accept the facts,” Goto says, unperturbed. See? It’s frustrating - his anger always stays level whereas Reiji feels like he’s about to fucking explode .
“What facts?!” He shouts, groaning as he runs a hand through his hair, “Goto, training just helps people get better . Why not do it if it helps ?”
“Training doesn’t help people get better, Reiji ,” Goto sets his cup down forcefully as he leans towards Reiji, “people are born with their strength at a set level. It’s what separates the ranks. The only way to get better is to get an awakening . Training will do nothing .”
He slides back as Reiji struggles to even sort his thoughts out, to try and word exactly how stupid all that sounds.
“You’re just lying to yourself if you think a single person on that team is strong.”
Oh. Oh Goto wants a fucking fight doesn’t he? Heat floods his chest, his head, his heart, mana seeping into every corner in his body, into every fiber of his being. If Goto wants a fucking fight so bad, he can get one .
It’s all punches that never land and blows that miss by a hair from that point. Reiji wants to absolutely pummel Goto for ever thinking that his team isn’t powerful, and every single miss only makes his anger grow. What’s more, is that Goto is stupidly calm, though Reiji can feel his anger just there, just a little more, and then Goto will have the same fevered anger running through him. Then the two of them will be the same.
Goto’s anger spills over when Reiji makes a dumb, dumb mistake, and ends up with his arms pinned awkwardly in Goto’s grip, back pressed against the rug. God dammit . He was supposed to land at least one blow. But, then again, Goto didn’t get to land one either, which makes Reiji feel incredibly smug.
“Even you are weak, Sugimoto.”
His smile vanishes instantly. Reiji is not going to take lip from someone who was his fucking subordinate just a year or so ago. He is not going to take this bullshit from someone who thinks strength is something predetermined, something you’re born with.
But there is nothing he can do but struggle as Goto watches on, that challenging look gone, just cold, hard wall again. Reiji wants that to change. Reiji wants Goto to fucking feel something dammit, because Reiji sure as hell feels something, and it’s angering him more than anything that Reiji is the one getting emotional here and not Goto.
It’s pure impulse that causes Reiji to kiss Goto. It’s just the need to get him emotional, get the two of them on the same level, get Goto feeling the same way he does, because if Reiji has to go one more day in this limbo alone he’ll go insane .
If he has to suffer with hating Goto one second and wanting him the next, then Goto has to suffer, too. It’s only fair.