Work Text:
1. Blame
There's no one to blame is something Tadashi could never really grasp the meaning of, he's attached to his mistakes inexorably, he knows exactly what he's done.
2. Proof
Ten-year-old Ainosuke believes anything if Tadashi is the one telling him — names of constellations, English words, praise — if it comes from the older boy's lips, there shouldn't be room for doubt.
3. Assistance
Dirt isn't Ainosuke's favourite thing, the way it makes his hands a mess, the worms inside it, but being close to Tadashi in the garden makes him forget the unpleasant feelings, makes dirt seem not so bad.
4. Going
"Where are you going, Ainosuke-sama?" Tadashi stares at him, eyes looking back at the mansion, a dog worried about its master's whip.
5. Birthday
"Out." Ainosuke simply answers because he thinks he's allowed a goddamn break on the one day of the year that he can feel special, better spend time with Joe and Cherry than suffocating inside this place.
6. Scientist
Cherry shows him one day the stuff he's always working on; it's impressive and creative and he did it all by himself — not a boring hobby or classy lessons forced by his family — which makes ugly envy pool at the bottom of Ainosuke's gut.
7. Silent
Ainosuke is rarely silent, which is why, the night before his flight when he doesn't bother to speak one word to him, Tadashi knows what they once had is broken beyond repair.
8. Behalf
The aunts tell him they and Tadashi are the same, that what they protect is aligned; Tadashi begs to differ, the Shindo family couldn't matter less to him, he would burn it to the ground for Ainosuke-sama.
9. Rumor
Ainosuke's face is all over the news, strong hand on a model's lower back during a ball, enough to stir up gossip, enough to make Tadashi's heart clench just a little bit.
10. Tip
Tadashi is an adult when Ainosuke gets in his personal space and steals kisses that shouldn't leave a grown up respectable politician secretary's ears red, oh but they do.
11. Idle
"This used to be important to you too." Ainosuke's voice is bitter and defeated when Tadashi describes skateboarding like a silly childish thing.
12. Brother
Ainosuke wishes they were brothers, so it would be alright for Tadashi to enter his room, hug him, sleep with him; he wonders if Tadashi would say I love you if they were.
13. Beneath
Tadashi doesn't need to learn this, it's been hammered into his head, it's the natural order of things; Ainosuke-sama will always be his master and he will be sure to remember his place.
14. Redecorate
Ainosuke becomes master of the house, but the title comes with less freedom than expected — Tadashi remembers vividly teen Ainosuke telling him exactly what he would change to suit his tastes — not a single portrait gets moved out of place.
15. Gravitation
It's true that Ainosuke is demanding, and he demands attention and eyes on him all the time, but he doesn't really need to, not when Tadashi is naturally pulled towards him; inescapably.
16. Friends
Cherry and Joe are his friends, Ainosuke muses, in a way he's never had: they make him laugh and feel happy, but — unlike Tadashi — they don't make his blood pump any faster.
17. Afterthought
He wants many things, he wants Tadashi to apologize, he wants some kind of indicator that he cares at all; but, most of all, he wanted Tadashi to have thought of him before swallowing his tongue in cowardice.
18. Unearth
Ainosuke dirties his hands digging the ground, he still hates dirt, and he isn't happy enough to find it bearable now; his long fingers soon find what small hands hid there in the past, a love letter to the future — a promise that gets broken before they're even old enough.
19. Shield
Tadashi knows his frame isn't enough to cover Ainosuke-sama's broader body, but still, as he eyes the gun his body moves naturally; He would do it again, as many times as needed.
20. Blacklist
Ainosuke's name is in a lot of VIP lists for parties, but he also gets often blacklisted, the reasons are plenty: insulting someone, being too flashy and extravagant, showing up with his secretary on a leash...
21. Misquoted
"Ainosuke-sama said he wouldn't like to be disturbed this evening." Wrong, Ainosuke-sama reminds him pressing their bodies together, he'd said he wouldn't like them to be disturbed this evening.
22. Copying
Ollie, kickflip, toespin — every single move the older boy does, Ainosuke makes sure of trying his best to get it right — if he could soar like Tadashi, be just a little bit as free as Tadashi, no one could stop him.
23. Argue
The maids keep their head down around Kikuchi-san whenever they overhear it, whatever heated argument goes on in the office, this is a man that wouldn't hesitate when it's about his master, so they better stay out of it.
24. Lens
People don't know Ainosuke-sama quite as well as he does, he tells himself that's why, but can't help but think perhaps he'd still see him differently than anybody else; maybe there's something wrong with his eyes (his heart).
25. Bell
Two chimes, it means it's dinner time; Tadashi gets ready to stay put beside the furniture and decoration when Ainosuke holds his wrist and makes him take a seat, eat some oysters and drink unnecessarily expensive wine.
26. Arrested
Life in Prison would be fine, he can manage himself, can handle fights, can bribe and intimidate, keep quiet and low profile; what he isn't sure he can do is stop missing Ainosuke.
27. Havoc
Everyone's expressions in the face of the havoc caused by Ainosuke's landing in parachutes ranges from annoyed — Langa was finishing his burger — enraged —Sakurayashiki missed a stroke — and pleasantly amused: Tadashi thinks Ainosuke-sama looks cute having fun.
28. Tool
When a tool breaks, it gets replaced; Tadashi has to work harder and better, he has to stay, forever.
29. Blanket
"Shh, pillows don't speak." Ainosuke says as he pulls the blanket over himself and gets comfortable on Tadashi's flat chest, and wonders how such an expressionless man can have a heartbeat that fast.
30. Fancy
Tadashi looks at the birthday card Ainosuke-sama gave him yesterday, the kanji are written nicely and Ainosuke-sama dares to show a little more personality when his words are addressed to Tadashi, even if Tadashi is just... Tadashi; How did he ever deserve such a thing, he doesn't know he just holds the fancy card and pretty words by his heart.
31. Dash
No matter how many pretty faces got dashed against a fury — no, love — driven board, Ainosuke couldn't stop, wouldn't stop until he got back the missing piece that was merciless ripped out of his heart.
32. Away
Mouths are all the same, so are bodies and smells and Ainosuke knows that, knows it but still can't seem to feel good enough when he kisses American strangers who don't have moles under their eyes and don't smell like rose buds.
33. Money
The machine spits out his soda and Ainosuke-sama looks at it excitedly holding the ¥200 — he looks at the coins like he's never seen one in his entire life — in his tiny hand and trying to do the same himself; Tadashi thinks he's never seen a rich kid get so excited with something so simple.
34. Champagne
"I don't get drunk on Champagne" Ainosuke-sama said, but Ainosuke-sama is also feeling him up through his pants in his senior Diet member's party bathroom and giggling excitedly.
35. Note
"Take the day off." It's written in a post-it like a cold command, but as Tadashi stares at his empty apartment and runs his eyes through this week's schedule — because he can't spend one day without doing it even if it's his own birthday — he wonders if that's Ainosuke-sama's idea of mercy.
36. Physical
Attraction is a strange concept, what makes someone good-looking to the point of inducing desire, Tadashi doesn't know or doesn't care, what he knows is this: his boss' heir walking around in tiny shorts and dress pants tight in the right places, the shape of his lips and the tiny size of his waist.
37. Oblique
Snake: traitorous, cunning, oblique; Dog: loyal, stupid, honest; Kikuchi Tadashi: a little bit of both, whatever version serves his master best.
38. Frozen
Maybe Ainosuke would blame Tadashi less if he had just frozen in place, but the older boy spoke and his words were like poison — still are — ruining everything they had in bored monotone.
39. Stumble
With a new board under his feet Ainosuke stumbles, not from inexperience or fear, but his feet just can't contain the excitement, the thrill of finding someone who's right, someone who won't say the wrong things.
40. Hunt
It can't be called hunting if it's easy, so Ainosuke enjoys the chase, flirting and insisting, dancing together and almost flying; He enjoys it all until they inevitably fail and bore him.
41. Gibberish
Ainosuke-sama talks gibberish when he gets to the mansion, wasted, after a night wandering off with his new friends "They're fun, Tadashi" he keeps telling him, "but you're more fun"; absolutely nonsense, of course.
42. Camp
Well, it is expected for people to call him many things when they see him dress up; Ainosuke feels embarrassed, but Adam feels alive.
43. Weak
A perfect heir doesn't hide under the bed, doesn't cry, doesn't disobey, doesn't fall in love with another boy — much less an employee — so Ainosuke knows he's not perfect, he just hopes he can keep it hidden long enough.
44. Bargain
"Come on, just once." No "Twice?" Stop "Half?" Tadashi doesn't even know what a half kiss means, but Ainosuke ends up getting it anyway.
45. Shunned
Tadashi meant to say something, his mouth opening but closing after a glance that said save it to yourself he realized Ainosuke-sama only wants opinions when they don't jeopardize his fun.
46. Wind
A typhoon sometimes means a day off, Ainosuke-sama insisting he joins him, but still barking orders — Tadashi, kiss me; Tadashi, praise me; — Love me is one he never says, but he doesn't really need to.
47. Temptation
If Aiichiro didn't want Ainosuke to sin, why did he place such a delicious looking boy in the middle of the garden?
48. Eighteen
Being 18 years old doesn't mean he can, but Ainosuke manages to sneak a few bottles and drink as much alcohol he pleases, as much as it takes to forget his anger and dial Tadashi's number just to hear his voice.
49. Vicious
"Is it vicious to love?" Ainosuke asks, hand already sore from hitting the body underneath him repeatedly, and can barely hear Tadashi's answer: "If it's Ainosuke-sama, of course not."
50. Rhythm
Because how else Ainosuke's supposed to measure his compatibility with someone if not dancing and how in the world is anyone ever going to match the boy who taught him his own moves?