Archive of Our Own

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the two of them met a long time ago.  

if xiao thinks about it, he reckons that he’s spent more of his life with venti than without. most of his life before venti is hazy, the memories blurred. how they first met, xiao can still remember it, the memory burning bright at the back of xiao’s mind, almost like it’s a fond part of his past that shines brighter than the foggy details of his childhood.  

life before venti was different, xiao before meeting venti was different. he wasn’t as skillful, not nearly as confident nor clever – but he was learning, and that was enough. 

it was that part of his life, right after leaving his parents, a phase all young sirens go through the moment they grow old enough to fend for themselves. yet, despite having known all the basics of hunting, the first few hunts were always rough.  

xiao was swimming near the region where mermaids dwelled, one of their many kingdoms, in a desperate attempt to find prey lurking above waters. he wasn’t as confident in his ability to coerce humans into stepping closer into the water, so xiao stuck to the tactic of using sheer force instead, ambushing any unsuspecting humans he could find. it was a lot less effective, but that was the best option xiao had.  

xiao tries his best to steer clear of any mermaids, not wanting any to get in his way. for the most part, merpeople avoid his kind, knowing that getting involved with a siren meant nothing but trouble. xiao doesn’t know how much truth that statement holds, but doesn’t find himself caring either way.  

that however, doesn’t stop the one mermaid who spots him and calls out to his friends, “look! it’s a filthy little siren,” spitting out the last word like a curse.  

xiao doesn’t bother batting an eye at them, knowing that it’s just one of those bastards that want to rile him up, hoping to get some form of reaction out of xiao. the last thing xiao is going to do is give them any sense of satisfaction.  

at his lack of reaction, the three mermaids begin tailing him. the one with the blue tail and the stupid smirk that xiao would love to punch off his face swims in front of him as the other two corner him from the back. 

xiao can tell that the only reason any of these mermaids were brave enough to even try to go up against a siren and begin taunting one was because they were in a mermaid-dominated area, they know that regardless of whether xiao fights back or not, they have the upper hand in the situation.  

if xiao shows any sign of aggression, he’s well aware that a swarm of furious merpeople would be at his throat, ready to defend their kind.

“what’s wrong with this one?” one of them asks, brows furrowed, “can’t use his pretty little voice, can you?” 

when he proceeds to shove xiao, flicking at his chest, xiao doesn’t say anything, instead gritting his teeth.  

“i heard that sirens bleed black,” another drawls out, a wicked look in his eyes, “want to test that theory out?”

they were about to resort to physical force to get a reaction out of him, and there’s almost nothing xiao can do but suck it up and brace himself. what better does he expect from cowardly bastards like these?   

the first blow comes before xiao can react, one of them pining xiao in place and he feels a harsh impact on his lower jaw. xiao bites on his bottom lip until he can taste the blood in his mouth, whether it’s because he bit down too hard or from the impact of the punch, xiao doesn’t know.  

he almost anticipates another punch but an unfamiliar voice cuts his train of thought. “what the hell is going on?”  

and it’s almost as if it’s that easy, the three mermaids immediately back off, and face the newcomer, faces various versions of distraught. xiao looks up to see another mermaid with what may be one of the prettiest faces he’s ever seen.  

the mermaid doesn’t look particularly menacing, with short blue hair grown out at the sides, fading to a lighter green as they curl around his face. his features are delicate – bright green eyes and a smaller stature, yet his presence must have some form of effect on the younger mermaids at the way they startle at his appearance.  

“it’s none of your business,” the blue-tailed mermaid hisses out, but xiao can tell he’s still a little worried.  

the mermaid raises a perfectly arched brow, scoffing, “i’d watch my tongue if i were you. wouldn’t want your father to hear about this, would you?”  

xiao almost smiles at the look of sheer terror that spreads on the mermaid’s face. in a less confident tone, the blue-tailed mermaid says, “w-we weren’t even doing anything–” nonetheless, the three of them swim away, without giving xiao another glance.  

xiao half-expects the pretty mermaid to cuss him off as well, probably tell him to fuck off, but instead, he looks up at xiao with genuine concern in his eyes and asks, “are you okay?”  

xiao, is not okay, because whatever this mermaid is doing, he’s completely going against the general unspoken law of the ocean; don’t get involved. he doesn’t understand why this mermaid is asking if he’s okay, nobody asks sirens if they’re okay.  

so xiao stares right back at him as if he’s gone mad, and asks, “why?”  

the mermaid’s eyes flicker from xiao’s still-bleeding lips back to his eyes and simply replies, “you have a busted lip,” as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “and i just practically saved you from getting beaten up.”  

xiao doesn’t say anything and silence settles between them. “no,” he says finally.  

the pretty mermaid quirks a brow, the slightest bit of humor in his tone, “no?” 

"no, i’m not okay,” xiao clarifies. “why do you care?” 

the mermaid lets out a short bark of laughter. “why wouldn’t i?”  

“most people wouldn’t,” xiao says, narrowing his eyes.  

“most people are horrible, then,” the mermaid counters. xiao feels his lip twitch upwards but then he catches himself before he does, realising that he’s wasting time. he shouldn’t be here, he certainly shouldn’t be having banter with a mermaid.  

“i’m venti,” the mermaid says, and he’s smiling at xiao, as if he’s not some sick, twisted, monster. he doesn’t get that sentiment a lot.  

“i didn’t ask,” xiao replies drily.  

the mermaid, venti, opens his mouth as if he wants to say something, but xiao doesn’t give him the chance to do so, already swimming off, not once looking back. xiao goes about his life, without once thinking about venti.  

he knows that’s a lie, but won’t let himself believe so. 

, 

xiao prefers to dwell by the more secluded areas of the ocean, where less people linger. typically, he’d find certain areas where he knows that people don’t come near towards and he’s found a large vessel at the seabed, from what he could tell, empty. 

xiao wonders how long the ship a has been here, how long ago it sunk. he usually sees ships as a good thing, especially when they’re nearing the harbour – more potential victims for him to lure. he doesn’t know whether it’s purely out of boredom, but xiao looks around for a little bit, prying open one of the doors to the hull.  

however, once xiao manages to get inside the ship, he hears the distinct sound of singing .  someone was  here . the siren tenses for a moment, considering the option of just leaving before whoever else was here could see him.  

but for whatever reason, he doesn’t. 

instead, xiao swims closer to the voice, almost as if he was in some form of trance. yet, that didn’t make sense considering how sirens are immune to the siren song, there’s no possible way for it to have an effect on him.  

despite that, as xiao nears closer, the voice becoming louder and clearer, he can tell that it isn’t a siren. there’s a certain purity to the voice that makes it almost unlikely that it’s a siren of any sorts. the way the voice echoes softly sends a shiver down xiao’s spine.  

xiao finds the room where the voice is coming from and goes through, hoping to put some form of a face to the voice and he’s met with– 

“venti?” xiao’s eyes widen in disbelief as he stares at the mermaid before him.  

venti startles and the singing stops, turning around to meet xiao’s eyes. the mermaid’s mouth parts in shock, recognition flashing across his eyes. “what are you doing here?” is all that he stutters out, backing away from xiao.  

xiao’s eyes flicker over to how venti has his tail over a pile of things that must have been scavenged from the ship almost protectively. “i could ask you the same,” is all that he replies, frowning.  

“it shouldn’t concern you.” xiao raises a brow at venti’s sudden defensive tone. “we don’t even know each other. i don’t even know your name.” the siren notices how venti wrings his hands, and if xiao isn’t wrong, he swears he can see a look of nervousness in the mermaid’s eyes.  

“xiao.”  

venti furrows his brows. “what?”  

“my name. it’s xiao.”  

venti’s eyes soften a little, his gaze no longer as hard. “xiao, i'm not supposed to be here. if the other mermaids find out–”  

xiao cuts him off. “i could care less.” 

venti bites down on his bottom lip, head tilting slightly. “you’re not going to tell anyone that you saw me here?” 

“consider it a form of payback. i won’t tell anyone, don’t worry. but,” xiao pauses, cracking venti a small smile, “if you’re trying to keep people away, sing a little bit more repulsively, alright?. as of now, you’re doing the opposite.”  

slowly, a smile stretches on venti’s face and, if it wasn’t just a trick of the light, a hint of a blush as well. “thank you,” he says sincerely and xiao feels himself mirroring a smile as well.  

, 

xiao sees venti more often since then.  

sometimes it’s just in passing, xiao will spot the mermaid heading somewhere, and perhaps he’d shoot the other a small yet fleeting smile, and he’d be off. that was that.  

but then, more and more frequently, venti will meet xiao at a hidden part of the ocean, at the depths of the night when the pale moonlight casts an almost eerie glow into the waters below. sometimes it will be at sunken ruins or a small cave and the two of them would spend hours just talking.  

venti would talk about everything, nothing and whatever else in between, and xiao will for once listen, like everything the mermaid says is interesting. and he’d never admit it, but perhaps it is. they’d spend hours on end like that, not as a mermaid and a siren, but as venti and xiao.  

that is, until dawn creeps up and venti has to go back to the other mermaids while xiao waves the other goodbye.  

, 

“xiao, you trust me, right?”  

xiao looks up at venti, brows furrowed. the siren supposes that it’s the beginning perhaps one of the mermaid’s one too many terrible jokes, but xiao doesn’t see the bitten back smile or the light in his eyes. instead, venti’s looking at him with a certain seriousness he can’t seem to understand.  

xiao pauses. does he trust venti?  

in all honesty, it took xiao a bit of time before he even considered venti as a  friend. he always thought that eventually the mermaid would get bored of him; maybe decide that xiao isn’t as interesting as he thought and that would be the end of whatever acquaintanceship they had acquired.  

but venti never got fed up of him, never once treated xiao like anything else other than a friend. it was one of those days where xiao came to realise that the things venti did that he once found annoying had become endearing, and when the siren wasn’t with venti, he’d actually miss the other’s company.  

finally, xiao agrees, “yeah, of course. i trust you.” 

“enough to follow me back home?” xiao looks at venti’s face, hoping to see some form of humour or mirth.  

“venti, wha–”  

“i need to show you something. please?” xiao presses his mouth to a thin line. he knows that venti is aware that the siren doesn’t like treading near mermaid territory, and for the most part, venti’s never asked xiao to go anywhere near where he lives.  

xiao opens his mouth to say no, but sees the shimmer of hope in his eyes and can’t find himself denying the mermaid. when did he ever become so pliant?   

“okay.” xiao sighs and venti brightens almost immediately. “but venti, where are we going?” 

venti ignores him, instead taking his hand and swimming off, despite the siren’s soft protests. “it’s a secret, xiao.” 

fortunately, when the pair reached the border of the kingdom where venti lived, it was already dark, most of the mermaids having gone off the sleep, leaving the outside empty. venti swims off while xiao follows behind, still not knowing what exactly it was that the mermaid was dying to show him.  

venti motions him to swim slower, the both of them quietly making their way to wherever venti wanted to go. eventually, venti brings xiao to a small cavern that lies in the outskirts of the border. to xiao, it doesn’t seem like anything special. 

venti, however, glances behind before swimming over to a large boulder in front of the cavern. “help me push this,” he tells xiao who furrows his brows but follows anyway.  

together, they manage to push the stone aside, leading to a small entrance into the cavern. xiao stares at it, but goes in after venti. but the moment xiao’s inside, he’s stunned speechless. the entire cavern was hollowed, leaving shelves decked with treasures.  

the narrow opening from the top of the cavern allows the moonlight to shine below, casting an almost silvery glow on all of the things. as xiao looks around, there’s chests, jewels, books and even a piano – practically everything. it’s a collection of things, all from the surface. 

xiao looks back at venti, for some form of explanation. he knows that venti’s always had this inexplicable  obsession  with the people from above the ocean, but never knew to what extent.  

“what is all of this?” xiao asks, still not past the initial stage of awe and disbelief.  

venti wrings his hands as a nervous habit. “it’s my secret grotto. i scavenged all of these myself, from shipwrecks and sunken ruins. sometimes, even from above the surface.” if xiao’s not wrong, there’s almost a bit of pride in the mermaid’s voice. 

“but mermaids aren’t–” 

“–allowed above the surface,” venti finishes, “i know. it’s a secret grotto for a reason.”  

xiao finds himself nodding. “when - when did you start collecting these?”  

something lights up in venti’s eyes when xiao brings it up. “as long as i could remember,” he breathes out, his voice growing faint, a certain fondness behind it, “i’ve always longed to go above the surface. i found this place and i made it mine.”  

“does anyone know about this place?”  

“no,” venti says, “they can’t know. xiao, you know how mermaids are like. they can’t stand anything that isn’t like them.” he lets out a short bark of laughter but there’s a distant look of sadness in his eyes when he says that.  

“i won’t tell anyone,” xiao says sincerely and venti just cracks a small smile at him. “i know you won’t. that’s why i wanted to show you.” 

“can’t have anyone ruining this, you know? it was a pain in the ass to haul all these things here.” venti says it as a joke to lighten the air but xiao knows it’s more than just that. this little grotto is venti’s vulnerability, things that he treasures.  

xiao can tell that venti showing this to him is more than just the mermaid wanting to share his interests, but that venti trusts him, enough to show something as personal as this. xiao chooses to ignore the sudden fluttery feeling in his gut. 

“do you have a favourite?” venti looks at xiao, confused as the siren goes on explain, “i mean, surely among all these things you’ve collected, you have a favourite, right?”  

venti pauses for a moment before he swims up to one of the upper shelves, carefully looking through his assortment of things, before finally taking a small box. xiao takes a good look at it, and it doesn’t seem to special, just an intricately detailed box.  

he doesn’t see anything special about it until venti opens the lid and gentle music plays from the box as a little figurine starts dancing to the soft melody. it’s a music box, is the first thing his mind supplies and xiao glances up at venti who has his eyes at the small figurine, a certain look in his eyes that xiao can’t decipher.  

“i got this from above the surface,” venti tells him, fingers brushing the figurine gently. “it’s one of the first of this entire collection. i remember, near the shores of where i grew up, there was this house by the sea.”  

“there was a human boy who would perform during his free time and i used to watch him and every single time he’d play the music box and start performing, i couldn’t help but envy him. he’d sing dance with his legs and all i could do is watch, wondering why i couldn’t do the same.” 

xiao hums lightly, urging the other to continue. “i wanted legs my entire life, xiao. i hated not being able to leave the ocean. i hated that that little boy could and i couldn’t. i think all those feelings bubbled up until one day, the boy left his music box by the shore and i took it.”  

venti’s lips tug up at the edges, perhaps at the memory of it. xiao’s gaze doesn’t leave his face. “i took what i could have, even if it was just this music box. and i think deep down somewhere, i still envy the little figurine. i want to be able to do what it does even if it’s just a meaningless dream. i want to perform.” venti looks over at xiao, searching for some form of reaction.  

all the siren does is stare at the figure himself, narrowing his eyes slightly. he takes a look at the legs venti longs for so much and his eyes flicker to venti’s tail. “i can’t believe you stole from a little boy. what a delinquent,” is all he manages to say. 

it earns a snort from venti who smiles at xiao, eyes crinkling to crescents, smacking him on the shoulder lightly. “in my defence, i was pretty young as well. i was bored and jealous, of course i’d be a little selfish. i wanted whatever he had and the dumb little music box was all i could take.” 

“venti” xiao tries to reason, “you can’t have the best of both worlds. humans are mortal, they die easily with their short and pathetic lives, why would you want that?”  

venti leans his head back and closes his eyes for a moment. “what good is living for centuries if you can’t even do anything?”  

“we have magic–”  

venti laughs. “your magic can kill you and i’m don’t even have any. what’s the fucking point?”  

xiao frowns. “what do you mean?” 

“didn’t you know?” venti asks, incredulous. “the only mermaids with magic are the royal family. they killed off every last mermaid that carried magic within them centuries ago. the rest of us don’t have magic anymore.”  

xiao shoots venti a look that can only be described as, why? venti shrugs, putting the music box back in its place. “greed? power? i don't know. all i know is that even if anyone does have magic, showing it would be a death wish.”  

there’s a certain melancholy to his voice and xiao decides to change the topic. “do you still wish to perform?” venti gives xiao a funny look but still mumbles out a small yeah.  

“then why don’t you?” xiao counters. “you don’t need legs to perform. all you need is a little bit of music and an audience.”  

venti doesn’t quite understand where xiao’s going with this but smiles anyway, playing along. “and where would i get that from?”  

xiao cracks him a sly smile. “i’m here, and you have a piano, don’t you?”  

and the both of them know that venti can’t dance and xiao definitely can’t play the piano either, but that doesn’t stop the two of them doing it anyway, xiao fumbling around with the keys while venti dances around, bursting into a fit of giggles.  

it doesn’t take longer for xiao to join in as well, abandoning the piano altogether albeit rather hesitantly as the mermaid pulls him along. xiao doesn’t think either of them are anywhere near as good as what venti would have wanted, but when venti laughs loudly, eyes forming half-moons, xiao doesn’t really think it matters. 

, 

at times, xiao comes by venti’s grotto even when the mermaid’s out.  

typically, the siren would look through venti’s collections, the new and the old, things that xiao himself has picked up for the mermaid. it was the best way he had to kill time when venti wasn’t there.  

xiao finds himself by the piano. he toys around with the keys for a while, but none of the notes sound right. he lets out a frustrated huff, annoyed at himself. xiao knows that it’s ridiculous, he shouldn’t care that he can’t play the damned instrument. but for a reason unbeknownst to himself, xiao does care.  

“why would a siren even need to know how to play this?” he mutters to himself, brows furrowed. when looking through venti’s collection, he managed to find what appeared to be sheet music for the piano. that however, did nothing to improve his skills considering how xiao can’t even read it.  

xiao feels the cavern entrance opening but focuses his attention on the piano.  

“you really like that piano, huh?” venti asks, smiling. he takes off the satchel he was carrying and drops it on the ground before making his way towards xiao.  

the siren huffs in response. “i can’t even play it properly. what’s the point?”  

venti just tuts at the siren as if there’s something so elementary that xiao is missing. “my dear friend,” he begins, ruffling xiao’s hair in the way that he knows pisses the siren off, “you don’t need to be good at doing something to enjoy it.”  

xiao shoots venti an incredulous look. “how can i enjoy it if anything i try to play sounds awful?”  

“then learn from someone who  can  play it.”  

xiao quirks a brow at him. “and who would that be?” 

a glint of mischief flashes in venti’s eyes as he replies, “watch the humans do it.” 

“you’re crazy,” xiao tells him, getting up from the piano stool. venti just looks at him, unfazed. “i’m serious, just watch a human play and copy what they do.”  

xiao shakes his head at the idea, putting it off as one of the mermaid’s more ambitious ideas. sure, he’d love to able to play something on the piano, but he doesn’t think he has the dedication to observe a human.  

yet a few weeks later when xiao once again comes by the piano, a small stack of paper catches his eye. taking it gingerly, xiao realises that it’s the sheet music for the piano that xiao couldn’t read before – except it’s  not .  

instead of a mess of mindless scribbles, there are annotations beside the notes explaining what it means. upon further inspection, xiao can tell that it’s in venti’s handwriting. venti made notes–spent fuck knows how long studying humans–on how to play the instrument for him. 

xiao bites down a smile as he flips through the sheet music. he looks at the piano for the first time with fondness in his eyes. a certain kind of warmth pools in his gut as the corners of his lips tug upwards.  

, 

xiao doesn’t know when it happens, but at one point, he starts seeing venti less.  

they go from meeting almost daily to xiao not seeing the mermaid for a whole week. in the past, the siren would have brushed it off, said that he didn’t care that venti wasn’t there. but in the past, xiao only lived for himself. 

but now, xiao’s already admitted that he cares a lot more about the mermaid that he lets on. for the first time in his life, xiao had started to care about someone that wasn’t himself.  

so, when venti disappears without a word, xiao worries. he still hunts and does what he has to in order to get by, but he also spends the rest of his time looking for venti, wondering where on earth he’s gone.  

xiao starts to spend more time at venti’s grotto, playing the piano like before. except, this time, venti doesn’t join him later. most times, venti doesn’t come at all. and it’s reached a point where xiao feels tired of waiting for him to come by when it’s obvious that he won’t.  

when xiao asks around, it’s apparent that no one else knows about venti’s whereabouts either. he starts to wonder what happened to him, whether he’s okay. so, when venti shows up at an ungodly hour–the middle of the night when xiao’s passed out in the grotto, barely awake–of course xiao is furious.  

“where the fuck were you?” xiao demands the moment venti enters the cavern. the mermaid is slightly taken aback at the harshness of xiao’s tone and furrows his brows. “hello to you too,” comes his reply, affronted. 

“you’ve been gone without a trace for a week. your hello is long overdue.” xiao grits his teeth. 

venti lets out a short bark of laughter. “does it really matter? i’m back now, right? i didn’t think you’d care either way.”  

xiao sneers at venti. “what’s that supposed to mean? of course i fucking care.”  

venti laughs humourlessly, adding fuel to xiao’s rage. “you’re a siren. since when do you care about anyone but yourself?”  

xiao narrows his eyes at venti, a flicker of hurt flashing across his face. “oh? so we’re stooping that low? i’m sorry i was concerned for your wellbeing. forgive me  for thinking that something’s happened to you!”  

venti’s face softens at that. something reminiscent of guilt flashing across his eyes as he frowns slightly. “shit, xiao – i didn’t mean it like that.” he squeezes his eyes shut for a moment, letting out a sigh. “i - i’m sorry, i wasn’t - fuck, i wasn’t thinking.”  

xiao stares at venti, brows still knitted together. venti continues. “i just. i’m being an asshole, i’m sorry. you’re right, i should have told you before leaving like that.”  

venti runs a hand through his hair. “i’m feeling kind of jittery because i met someone. someone that can help me.” his eyes widen at the last word, a certain anticipation in his voice.  

xiao tilts his head slightly. “what are you talking about? there’s nothing wrong with you, why would you need help?” 

“i met someone who can make me become human.” venti says the last word carefully, eyes shining.  

xiao lets out a strangled noise from the back of his throat. “what?”   

“she’s a mermaid with magic–i didn’t believe it at first, but when i went to meet her, it’s real. it’s real, xiao. i can become human just for a little while. i can go to their world, xiao. isn’t that amazing?” venti looks at xiao with such genuine happiness in his eyes that it almost hurts the siren when he replies: 

“no.”  

venti’s smile falters and he looks at xiao, confused. “what do you mean?” 

“you’re making a mistake, venti. mermaids aren’t supposed to interact with humans, much less use magic. you know that. and you know what’ll happen if anyone else finds out.” 

“you interact with humans all the time–” xiao cuts him off before he can finish, “i live  off  humans, venti. it’s not the same. how do you even know that it’ll work? how do you even know that this sea witch you met isn’t tricking you?” 

venti clicks his tongue in annoyance. “since when did you become such a cynic?” 

xiao laughs humourlessly. “mermaids aren’t allowed magic. you told me yourself, every last known possessor of it was executed. doesn’t this person you met seem suspicious? so forgive me if i take this with a pinch of salt.”  

venti runs a hand through his hair, letting out a sigh. “look. i know that you’re weary of this and i appreciate that you’re looking out for me. i really do. but you have to believe me on this one, xiao. i saw her myself and she’s as real as it gets.” 

xiao doesn’t trust whoever venti’s met to be credible, but he knows that bringing that up won’t get them anywhere. “who is she?” he says finally.  

“she calls herself the traveller,” venti begins. “she’s a mermaid and she keeps a low profile and it’s pretty hard to contact her, but it’s easier if you know what you’re looking for.”  

xiao lets out a low hum. “how did you manage to meet her?”  

“well, you have to contact her beforehand and meet her at the location she gives you.” 

“you know her as the traveller?”  

venti nods. xiao frowns, muttering offhandedly, “so that’s what she’s calling herself now, huh?”  

venti cocks his head to the side. “what?”  

xiao shakes his head, brushing it off. “it’s nothing important.” the mermaid quirks a brow at the siren but doesn’t needle any further and xiao takes relief in that. he’s never really liked lying to venti.  

,  

xiao glances behind him before swimming ahead into the cavern. 

the moment he enters the dark cave, the hair on his arms rises at the sudden drop in temperature inside. xiao opens his mouth to call out for anyone in here, but in a swift movement, the entrance to the cavern shuts and xiao whips his head towards the noise. 

“you made it.”  

xiao turns around and catches a glimpse of a golden tail before a mermaid emerges from a hall within the cavern. he looks up to see a familiar face, expression serious and hardened. xiao cracks a smile at the mermaid, recognition in his eyes.  

“lumine,” he begins, voice light. “it’s been a while.”  

“what do you want?” she asks, expression blank.  

the siren brushes the mermaid’s cold demeanour off. she wasn’t always like this, xiao thinks, but he should know better than anyone how people change with time. “i didn’t think someone like you would ever begin offering services to people under the guise of a traveller.”  

lumine doesn’t laugh. “get to the point, xiao.”  

xiao’s expression hardens when she gets serious, going back to the real reason he’s here. “what did you promise venti?”  

if lumine’s the least bit taken aback by what xiao says, her face doesn’t show it. there always has been something about her, that makes it impossible for xiao to guess what she’s thinking.  

“gotten yourself involved with a mermaid, have you?” she looks at xiao with her eyes narrowed, as if she’s searching his face for something.  

xiao ignores her. “answer the question, lumine.”   

“i promised him exactly what he asked for.” 

“to be human?” 

“to have legs.” xiao doesn’t understand what the difference is between the two terms and gives lumine a look, urging her to elaborate. “venti can never be a human.”  

“i can grant him legs, i can give him lungs to breathe on air – but that’s all he’s ever be. a mermaid with legs. a mermaid on land. a mermaid pretending to be a human. no amount of magic i harness can change that.”  

xiao furrows his brows. “does venti know?”  

“i don’t know.” lumine shrugs. “and quite frankly, i don’t care either. as long as i get my end of the deal, i’ll give him what he wants regardless of whether he knows what he’s getting himself into or not.”  

xiao doesn’t know why, but what she says irks him in a certain way. it’s as if she couldn’t care less what happens to venti as long as she has some sort of gain – and knowing lumine, xiao presumes that’s the case. 

“how do you know that you’ll be able to do it? do you do this often?”  

lumine scoffs, a bitter look in her eyes. “are you questioning my ability?” she shoots him a dangerous look, like xiao should think before he says anything else. he isn’t fazed in the slightest by it.  

“that’s exactly what i’m doing, so answer the question.”  

lumine continues glowering at him, but continues, “he’s not the only mermaid that’s wanted to run off into their world, and if i could do it before, i can do it a million times after.”  

“and will he be safe on land?” xiao says it in a monotone but there’s almost an underlying hint of desperation in his voice.  

lumine shrugs. “like i said before; i don’t know, and i don’t care.” 

xiao grits his teeth. “i think you misheard me. i want a direct answer–will venti be safe?” 

the mermaid narrows her eyes, scowling. “is that a threat, xiao?” xiao opens his mouth in retaliation, but lumine’s cuts him off. “i don’t know what the fuck you’re playing at, but nobody tells  me  what to do.” 

“especially not  you.  so, if you have any respect for yourself, you’d stay in your fucking lane. got that clear?” xiao looks lumine in the eye and there’s a look in her eyes, as if challenging xiao to go ahead and try something.  

xiao wants to snap back at her, wants to  retaliate , but he stops himself from doing so. he’s here because he needs lumine’s help and upsetting the mermaid won’t do him any good. sighing, xiao replies, “fine. name your price for venti’s safety.” 

lumine doesn’t say anything, toying with the rings on her fingers. finally, she says, “give me a week.”  

“and what do you want most for it?” 

lumine looks at xiao, and asks, “what is most precious to you, xiao?” 

xiao doesn’t question what lumine asks because he knows the mermaid brought it up for a reason. and the logical, rational side of him gives him a simple answer; his voice. it’s the only answer that makes sense, a siren without a voice isn’t a siren at all.  

but the irrational, spontaneous part of him tells him what xiao’s known for a long time–took him a long time to come to terms with. what is most precious to xiao?  

venti.  

xiao looks up at lumine, and thinks about what to tell her. and a part of him wants to lie and go with the easy answer, but if xiao already knows the truth, lumine probably knows it too. “venti is a precious person to me,” he tells her, and there’s a certain quietness in his voice that causes lumine’s eyes to soften just a little. 

“and do you know what it’s like to have that precious taken away from you?” lumine looks at xiao with a certain bitterness in her voice, a sharpness in her eyes. xiao doesn’t say anything.   

“tell me, xiao,” she begins again, “do you remember what was most precious to me?” lumine doesn’t meet xiao’s eyes as she says this. xiao picks up the bitterness in her voice, the way she says what was. he knows the question is rhetoric, knows that lumine doesn’t want an answer. but xiao thinks he knows the answer anyway.  

“your brother.” the slight twitch of lumine’s lips tells xiao he’s gotten it right, and for once, he wishes he was wrong. lumine lets out a small sigh before her lips pull to a forced smile. “aether - what happened to him, lumine?” xiao asks, eyes widening slightly.  

“he had magic, what do you think happened?” lumine replies, voice incredulous. xiao’s mind flashes back to what venti told him, they killed every last one of them. realisation flashes in his eyes as he lets out a soft, “no–”  

lumine’s lack of reaction tells him enough. xiao feels sick to his stomach.  

“what i want most,” she begins, forming her words carefully, “is to take away what’s most precious to his royal highness – the crown prince.” xiao inhales sharply. he thinks of what lumine would want to use him for, what dangerous task– “but you can’t give me that.”  

xiao looks up at lumine, confused.  

“what i want from you, xiao, is a favour.” xiao doesn’t say anything, instead waits for lumine to continue. she does, “you don’t need to give me anything right now. but you owe me a favour. seems fair?” 

and xiao wants to furrow his brows, wants to shake his head in disbelief and ask, since when do you care about what’s fair? but he doesn’t. instead, he nods–and that’s that. 

, 

a week passes by slower than xiao would have wanted.  

venti begins talking to him again, starts acting like the way he used to and xiao knows that everything should be fine, that everything is fine. but it isn’t.  

because now, when venti’s not hiding anything from xiao anymore, he starts gushing about finally being able to live his dream. now, he does nothing to contain the excitement within himself, the mirth in his eyes as he talks about living among the people that roam the surface.  

but what venti doesn’t see is how xiao stiffens at the mention of ‘becoming human’, doesn’t notice when xiao’s response to these sorts of questions are always non-committal hums. and xiao knows that venti shouldn’t pay attention to any of this because it’ll only raise suspicion, but a part of him wishes the mermaid would have picked up on this.  

the part of him that is venti’s friend before anything else, the part that would usually be able to tell the mermaid all the small things that irked him, wishes that venti would call xiao out. wishes that he didn’t have to go behind his back.  

and it seems so easy, xiao thinks, to just come clean and tell venti everything. not only about seeing lumine but also how xiao doesn’t like any of this, doesn’t like  change  and wants everything to just go back to the way it was. and in a perfect world, venti would understand.  

but this isn’t a perfect world, so xiao pushes these thoughts away.  

, 

xiao meets lumine in a different location this time. it’s far deeper into the ocean than the other location had been, and naturally, a lot darker as well. something tells xiao that he’s perhaps meeting the mermaid at her lair.  

ahead, xiao sees light and what must be where lumine lives. it’s a skeleton of a ginormous creature, an eerie glow shining through the gaps in the skeletal body. xiao swims ahead, and he stops for a moment to take a look at the entrance. 

it’s the mouth of the creature, the wide jaw of the monster sufficing as the arched gateway with sharp and jagged teeth poking out through the corners. only lumine would call a place like this home, xiao thinks, as he swims inside.  

inside, through the long and winded halls, xiao finally finds lumine, looking at him expectedly. “nice place you’ve got,” xiao smiles faintly, trying to ease the tension in the air.  

lumine only shrugs, “as long as it keeps people out, it’s perfect.” 

“anyway,” xiao says, “did you come up with a solution?”  

lumine doesn’t immediately reply. instead, she rakes through one of the shelves on the wall and takes a small bottle with a green liquid. shaking it lightly, she passes it to xiao who takes it gingerly.  

“what is this?” xiao asks, studying the bottle.  

“your solution. i can’t possibly make sure that venti is safe the entire time he’s on land. but i can prevent him from doing anything that can possibly harm him. this right here,” lumine nods at the bottle, “is a decoy.” 

“when i’m done with the real potion, i’ll give it to venti. your job is to swap that with the decoy. if all goes well, venti will take the decoy, won’t transform and he’ll never suspect you to have done anything.” 

xiao frowns. “when he realises that the potion didn’t work, he’ll have questions for you.” 

lumine’s lips pull to an icy smile. “people like him believe anything i say, xiao. i could tell him that the potion only works for the purest of heart and he’d believe me. venti is naive, he won’t suspect anything.” 

something about the way she says it irks xiao. the siren feels his jaw clench as he says, “venti paid a price for what he wanted. you’re just fooling him into thinking what he sacrificed wasn’t worth anything.”  

lumine lets out a humourless laugh. “does it matter? this is what you wanted, right?” 

xiao goes quiet, as he stares at the bottle, long and hard. he doesn’t know what to do, doesn’t know which is right – but it’s a choice he has to make anyway. and the thought scares xiao, because for the first time, it’s not about how the consequences of his actions will affect him, but someone else.  

finally, xiao says, “yes. it is.” 

, 

venti frowns at xiao. “is everything fine? you’ve been awfully quiet.”  

xiao snaps out of his thoughts and looks up at venti. “what?”  

“see? you just did it again – you’re weirdly absent-minded lately. is there anything that’s been bothering you?” venti looks at him with such genuine concern in his eyes that xiao almost can’t physically lie to the mermaid.  

“do you have to do this, venti?”  

venti furrows his brows at him and opens his mouth to say something but xiao panics and interrupts the mermaid, rushing to add, “i mean, i’ve just been worried that after exploring land, you’ll think that it’s better than life here. and then you’d no longer want to live here.”  

xiao’s voice trails off and venti’s face softens at his words but a small frown tugs at his lips. “xiao, i didn’t know you thought that.” xiao bites his tongue at that, stopping himself from replying,  because i didn’t.   

instead, xiao bites his lip and looks up at the mermaid. venti goes on to say, “i’m so sorry. i don’t want you to think just because i’ll be able to venture on shore that i’ll forget about you.” before xiao can reply, venti pulls him into a hug, mumbling into xiao’s ear, “above or under the sea, you’re still important to me, xiao. i’m so sorry if i ever made you think otherwise. really. ”  

xiao doesn’t say anything, only tightening his arms around venti’s waist.  

, 

venti locks his eyes with xiao’s, expression serious. “i want to use it tonight,” he says, all of a sudden.  

xiao has imagined this exact situation number of times, endless scenarios playing out in his mind – and in every single one, he imagines himself protesting, making a huge fuss, finally letting out everything he’s been bottling inside. but when it finally comes down to the real thing – he doesn’t.  

instead, he just looks back at venti. “yeah?”  

venti nods.  

xiao had a feeling that today would be the day, venti looks like he’s had better days, eyes tired. xiao wasn’t going to ask him about it, knowing that the mermaid doesn’t like talking about the things that bother him, always giving responses like,  don’t worry, xiao, i’m fine  if xiao ever brings it up.  

venti might think that he’s got xiao fooled, with how xiao just lets it go after that, but he knows. he knows that venti isn’t fine, but he also knows that he  will  be fine, so he doesn’t say anything.  

sometimes, xiao thinks about how scarily similar they are.  

venti gets up to leave the grotto soon after, saying something about how he’ll spend the night at home. but before he goes, venti rummages through one of his cabinets before taking out something xiao can’t see and sliding it into the siren’s hand. 

xiao feels it with his fingertips, the cool material between his fingers and he presses hard. it’s a glass vial, he thinks, and he doesn’t need to ask venti what’s inside because hidden away in one of venti’s shelves is an identical decoy.  

“take care of it while i’m gone, okay?” venti tells xiao, words soft.  

xiao doesn’t say anything, only nods. and just like that, the siren is left alone.  

after what feels like an eternity, xiao finally takes a look at the potion and frowns. it looks exactly the same as the one lumine gave him, the same icky green that makes xiao’s stomach churn.  

this is the perfect moment, xiao thinks. as if the stars have aligned and some higher power has given him the chance for him to have exactly what he wanted. perhaps it would have made past xiao happy. perhaps xiao in the past would have already crushed the bottle venti gave him, would have gotten rid of all evidence and pretend as if nothing has happened when venti comes back. pretend like he doesn’t know what’s going on when venti’s potion doesn’t work. past xiao would pretend and just move on without another care in the world.  

so now, when everything is so perfectly in place, why is xiao hesitating? why does he feel sick at the thought of replacing the bottles, something so  simple , but almost impossible at the same time?   

xiao puts the potion down gingerly, as if he’s afraid to break it and looks for the one lumine gave him, the supposed solution to all his problems. when he finally finds it, stowed away behind one of venti’s countless number of artifacts, he compares the two side by side.  

no matter how hard xiao squints, they look identical, two perfect carbon copies.  

and before he realises, xiao is squeezing the decoy, so hard that his hand starts to hurt, knuckles turning white. it aches, but he doesn’t stop there, only pressing a little harder until he finally hears a soft  crack.  

there’s a crack in the vial and xiao only sees that as a reason to push harder, hard enough until green liquid begins to drip down his fingers, the broken shards of glass pressing into his skin. harder until xiao sees his blood running down the tip of his fingers to his palm, a sharp sting causing him to wince.  

only when all of the potion has dripped down his arms, mixed with his own blood, does xiao stop. he picks at the shards of glass that pierced his skin, frowning when his shaky hands only makes it worse.  

and xiao, he looks and feels like a  mess,  his actions don’t register in his mind just yet. he only stares at how the solution to all his problems is gone –  but then xiao shakes his head. it was never the real solution anyway. all xiao cares for as of now is how the decoy is gone and venti’s real potion is safe. he smiles despite himself, albeit a little hollow.  

– that’s how venti finds him when he returns back to the grotto. xiao, with his hands bloody and covered with a sickly green liquid, his eyes abnormally empty. the mermaid startles at his state, wasting no time to let out a string of incoherent worrying as he scrambles to patch up the siren’s hands.  

after he’s all cleaned up, venti holds xiao’s shoulder gently and asks, “what happened?” his voice is strained, eyes a little tired.  

xiao lets out a soft sigh, resting his head on the mermaid’s shoulder. the gesture takes venti by surprise because he stiffens, only to relax once again. “i don’t know,” xiao tells him honestly.  

“is the potion–” venti begins, words careful.  

“yeah,” xiao breathes out, “it’s fine.” something about how venti relaxes at that causes something unpleasant to simmer in xiao’s gut.  

the petty part of him wants to ask why venti is asking about the potion when he’s supposed to be concerned about xiao, but then he snaps out of it and reminds himself that of course he’d be asking about the potion. it terrifies xiao, how he’s practically going against every single one of his beliefs of don’t get involved just for a mermaid that doesn’t even know the extent of what xiao is resorting to just to make sure he’s safe.  

but xiao thinks that looking back, he’s still glad he befriended the mermaid. he thinks that despite all, no matter what xiao decided to do, he’d still end up chasing something that feels too much like a dream, that if he ever manages to grab a hold of it, it’ll vanish between his fingers – just like that.  

xiao doesn’t like thinking about that, so he doesn’t. instead, he focuses back to the lovely mermaid who’s right in front of him, mumbling out soft words of comfort.  

when the siren feels his eyelids drooping, he says quietly, “promise me you’ll stay?” and he doesn’t know whether it’s because he’s already fallen asleep, but he doesn’t hear venti’s reply.  

, 

venti is gone the next morning.  

xiao wakes up, all alone in the grotto, not a single trace of the mermaid. the horrible gut-wrenching feeling only raises xiao’s suspicions and when he finds that familiar vial by one of the tables, empty of its contents, the siren knows.  

the realisation hits xiao in small pieces, tucked into the hollows of his bones as he goes on with his day. he realises that it’s been a while since his last hunt so he goes looking for a victim, ignoring the part of his mind that desperately wants to look for something else.  

xiao watches his prey from beneath the waves, careful to remain as still as possible. the human, a young girl, dangles her legs along the edge of the low dock and absent-mindedly stares off at the sea.  

initially, xiao thought that he could just pull her below likewise to how he’d have done it years back, but something tells xiao that he’s better off being a little bit more patient, a little more cautious.  

slowly, xiao swims further away from the girl, so she’s facing his direction. the last thing he needs is for his sudden appearance to scare her off. when he thinks that he’s found the perfect spot, xiao swims closer to the surface, and ever so gently, makes his tail cause a small ripple among the water.  

the sudden movement of the still water catches the girl’s attention, just like how xiao wanted. he watches from below, how her eyes scan the area of the ripple as she inches closer to the sea. 

then, in a smooth and practiced movement, xiao pokes his head through the surface and looks up at her.  

initially, she jerks away, staring at xiao with wide eyes, but is quick to fix her composure and edge closer to the edge to get a better look. xiao doesn’t say anything, just stares back at her with a blank expression on his face, gauging her reaction.  

the girl doesn’t say anything at first, instead just tilts her head, brows furrowing. then: “you’re a mermaid, aren’t you?”  

xiao forces back a grimace. it certainly isn’t the first time a human has mistook him for one of them, but it still doesn’t stop a sick kind of feeling forming at the thought of being compared to the likes of a mermaid.  

a small voice in the back of his mind tells him, how about venti? m  but xiao doesn’t need to think too hard about that because venti isn’t like other mermaids. the thought of venti reminds xiao of something he rather not think of as of now, so he pushes that train of thought away altogether.  

“sure,” xiao agrees. 

it doesn’t take too long for xiao to finish her off, her body having stopped struggling the moment she realised that there was no winning against xiao. when she’s lifeless in xiao’s arms, the siren takes the moment to just look at her.  

not as how he usually would – as food,  but instead as a human being.  

he stares at the body, the slope of her calves, the lifelessness of her eyes that stare into nothing. tentatively, he uses the tip of his fingers to touch her cheek, the skin freezing to his touch. xiao frowns and he blinks.  

when he opens his eyes, to his horror, he finds that the face of the girl has changed to venti and now it’s his lifeless eyes staring at xiao, blood smeared across venti’s cheek and xiao – xiao can’t  breathe .  

instantly, he jerks away from the body, hands recoiling as if they’ve been burnt. his breath hitches and xiao swears that his heart is going to burst out of his chest. all he can think of is venti, how he’s up there, too far away for xiao to protect. the image of venti’s lifeless body burns into his memory and the siren has to close his eyes to just let himself breathe.  

when he lets out a sharp exhale, letting his vision focus, he notices that it’s just the girl’s body on the ground. yet, he can’t find it within himself to look at her any longer. for the first time in his life, xiao doesn’t have an appetite.  

, 

later that night, xiao finds himself by a rocky shore, perched on one of the rocks. he doesn’t know why, but a small part of him believes that venti will come by even though it shouldn’t be possible – there are countless of places he could be, who’s to say that he’ll come here out of all places.  

that doesn’t stop a dangerous little thing from crawling into xiao’s mind – hope.  

a passing breeze causes goosebumps to form on his skin, as he shudders lightly. xiao wants to give in, tell himself that there’s no point just waiting without a basis of what he’s even waiting for. but just before xiao finally loses hope completely and decides to call it day, a silhouette peaks out from among the boulders and xiao’s heart lunges to his throat when realisation dawns– 

it’s venti.  

xiao feels his pace pick up as venti starts running, an unspoken apology written in his eyes as he nears. before he knows it, venti is jumping into the water and xiao’s already diving ahead. their hands meet first, fingers intertwining, before xiao pulls venti into a bone-crushing hug. it’s messy, venti’s completely drenched, but xiao doesn’t care because in this moment all he feels is the rhythm of the other’s heartbeat against his chest, his slow and gentle inhales and exhales. venti’s here and he’s safe.  

when they pull apart, xiao takes the opportunity to smack venti’s arm, causing the other to grimace in pain. “fuck you,” he hisses out.  

venti opens his mouth like he wants to say something but xiao doesn’t let him. “you absolute asshole, did you know how fucking worried i was?” venti’s lips pull into a lopsided grin and xiao can’t bear to be mad at him any longer.  

they decide to settle next to shore, venti sitting on one of the boulders, feet dangling as xiao stays in the water, looking up at him. venti tells xiao how he took his first steps on land, albeit shakily, with his knees wobbling, how the breeze in the air caused his skin to prickle.  

“well,” xiao begins, eyes finally meeting venti’s, “how was it? going on land for the first time?”  

he watches as venti’s eyes light up immediately, grin widening as he rambles on about his first day, all the exciting new things he’s gotten to see. and xiao, despite himself, listens intently to everything the other says, trying to paint a picture of what the world above water is like, by piecing together all the little details venti tells him.  

xiao only leaves when he notices, hours later when the sun begins to rise again, gold pooling into the dark blues of the sky, venti’s eyes starting to get weary with fatigue. venti insists that he’s not tired, but the redness of his eyes suggests otherwise.  

when venti finally leaves, xiao stays a little longer, watching the silhouette of venti grow smaller. venti notices xiao staring so he turns around to flash him another blinding smile. xiao feels an ugly feeling pooling deep inside. he chooses to ignore it.  

, 

“wouldn’t it be amazing,” venti whispers, “to be immortalized among the stars?”  

venti’s lying on his back, eyes trained on the stars that dot the sky. xiao hums in response, mumbling, “you’ve barely been on land and yet, you’re already dreaming of living among the stars? you really do want everything, don’t you?” he says it as a joke, but there’s a hint of bitterness in it that xiao hopes venti doesn’t notice.  

“how could i not,” venti replies, breathless, “when there’s so many things to want.”  

xiao doesn’t reply, only listening to the sound of the gentle waves and the passing breeze. venti continues to say, “maybe if i was a star, you wouldn’t have to ever worry about me leaving you behind.” that takes xiao by surprise, and the siren peers up at venti, eyes wide.  

how does he know – but xiao stops himself and it dawns upon him that that despite how aloof venti shows himself to be, the mermaid has a habit of picking up on small things, notices things about xiao that even he, himself doesn’t realise. of course venti knows, he’s always been able to read xiao like an open book.  

“but how would i find you then?” xiao asks instead, quiet.  

“easy,” comes venti’s voice, airy and light. “all you have to do is look up at spot the brightest star you see. and there i’ll be, watching over you from all those millions of lightyears away.”  

xiao studies venti’s face, the way the stars reflect in his eyes, making them shine. his skin has always had this ethereal glow, as if it was made of pools of moonlight. and if xiao thinks about it, venti’s always been made out of fragments of the skies, bits of the universe making up every fibre of his being. 

“you know,” xiao begins, “there’s a story i heard when i was little. there was a siren that spent too long above shore on windy nights, and ended up swallowing a piece of the night sky. the emptiness began growing in him, started giving him a terrible hunger that could not be fulfilled by anything. 

he went on a killing spree and ate as much he could; swallowed oceans whole and devoured masses of people, but that dull ache always remained. out of desperation, he travelled far to a witch who told him that the only way he’ll ever have this curse lifted was if he drank a few drops of sunshine, some light to fill in the emptiness inside.  

so with that, he ventured out at dawn to the horizon where the sun meets the sea, turning the water gold. and he drank just a desperate handful of water, most of the water trickling down the sides of his mouth, but finally, he could feel the hunger subside, the needless  want  satisfied, at last,” xiao finishes.  

neither of them says anything for a long time, until venti finally breaks the pin drop silence, “that does sound an awful lot like me doesn’t it?”  

xiao lets out a hum. then he remembers what he asked lumine weeks ago, remembers that look in her eye that followed as she answered. “what do you want most in life?”  

xiao searches venti’s face for an answer, a certain shift in his eyes that will tell xiao something, but venti says nothing. instead, he parts his lips and trains his eyes back to the sky. “i think i’d like to be able to find my own droplets of sunshine.”  

xiao doesn’t reply.  

, 

the days go by painfully slow for xiao. all he does is hunt and roam around idly, and xiao has a mild feeling that he’s supposed to be looking for something, but he just can’t pinpoint  what . the only highlight of his day is when he meets up with venti and listens to him talk about all the new things he’s seen, the new people he’s met. 

unlike xiao, who has a certain tire tucked between his bones every time he comes to meet the mermaid, venti is always brimming with emotion; so saturated to the point where there’s so much life dripping from him.  

today’s a little different because venti’s buzzing with a different sort of energy. xiao can feel it in the air, among strings of nervousness, venti is being unusually quiet. it’s not the type of quietness that comes with silence, hell, venti hasn’t stopped talking since he saw the siren. instead, it’s the type of quietness that shows itself when venti’s laughs aren’t as loud as normal, his smile not really reaching his eyes.  

“have you ever been in love?” venti asks all of a sudden, and xiao has to look at him again to see if he’s hearing it correctly.  

“i– what?” xiao splutters.  

venti repeats himself, words slower. “have you ever loved someone?”  

xiao feels blood rushing to his cheeks, the tips of his ears growing red. “no,” he says finally, voice growing thick. it’s not a lie if it’s a half truth, is what he tells himself. “why do you ask?”  

“there’s someone i’ve met,” venti begins, looking over at xiao cautiously. xiao keeps his expression neutral. “actually, it’s been a while already – since we’ve met, that is. and you know me, xiao, i don’t commit. i like the thrill and the excitement of things but the moment it starts to get serious it feels so heavy, you know?”  

“but this time,” venti continues, eyes trained on his fingers, “they always leave me feeling like i can never get enough. god, they’re so fascinating –  but they’re not drops of sunshine, xiao, they're the night sky that leaves me empty, and wanting more. is that what love is? never getting enough of someone?”  

xiao keeps quiet. he does know venti, and he knows how venti treats fascinating things. he’s enamoured with it, all the way until the moment he has it wrapped around his finger, right where he wants it to be. then venti gets  bored  and throws it among the pile of all his other objects of desire, moving on the next. he knows because he’s seen it happen in front of him again and again and again; until he wonders when it’ll be  his turn.  

but here he is, the same venti, confessing that he found someone he doesn’t immediately want to toss out, talking about love and commitment out of all things – and xiao feels sick.  

he feels bad immediately after, chiding himself for feeling this way. and like a coward, he opts for the easier option out. “do you want it to be?” is his reply, just as cautious, looking at venti gently.  

venti huffs. “honestly? i’m kind of terrified, xiao. i’m not good at these things and avoiding my problems has always been the easier thing to do. but i don’t want to run away, not now, and that’s terrifying.”  

xiao’s rendered speechless by the vulnerability of venti’s words and he’s terrified too. because never in a thousand years would xiao have expected himself to be in this situation – talking about feelings with a mermaid posing as a human, trying to give said mermaid advice about matters of the heart when his feels like bursting any moment.  

when xiao doesn’t reply, venti looks away, embarrassed. “great, i made it awkward now-”  

“no,” xiao suddenly says, feeling a lot like he’s been shifted off his axis. “it’s okay to be nervous. this is all new for you, honestly, it’s new for me too, and it’s alright to be a little scared. but just know that while some things may change, others will stay the same.”  

gingerly, he takes venti’s hands in his, ignores how his tremble a little in the process, and gives it a reassuring squeeze. xiao holds his breath, thinks of whether he said the right thing, whether he’s made everything worse, feels his heart thump against his chest, hard enough to rattle his bones – and he feels venti squeeze back.  

xiao exhales.  

, 

“i want you to meet them.” venti’s looking at him with an intensity that xiao can’t find himself to look away from.  

he doesn’t ask venti who he’s talking about, because he already knows. after that night where venti confessed to having something going on with someone, it was almost as if a dam had broken down.  

since then, venti has told xiao everything little thing about his special someone – all the way from how their smile rivals that of the sun, to the way their laughter rings in his ears like the chimes of a bell – and xiao listens, and tries to paint the image of this person that has venti so utterly captivated.  

and of course, xiao wants to know who this person is, what’s so special about them that venti can’t go a day without talking about – but xiao is hesitant. hesitant because he knows from the moment he finally gets to meet them that a dangerous thought will plant inside his mind: what do they have that he doesn’t?   

and as much as xiao wants to tell himself that he’s better than that, that he knows that venti loves him all the same, just in a different way, xiao also knows himself. and xiao knows himself to be  petty  and  envious  and all sorts of ugly emotions that he tries desperately to hide away. 

“how?” xiao starts, “you didn’t tell them what you are, right?”  

something he said must have had an effect on venti, because xiao notices hurt flicker across his face for just a moment, before his expressions grows back to normal. it suddenly dawns on xiao that venti is  ashamed  of being what he is, and he knows that no matter how hard he tries, he never could be truly human, can’t hide what he is forever.  

when venti still doesn’t reply, xiao finds himself saying, “how long do you plan on staying like this?” and it takes him by surprise, because it’s the one thing so far between all their little meetings that xiao hasn’t touched upon, the one thing he avoids like the plague because xiao has a feeling that whatever the answer is, he won’t be liking it.  

xiao thinks venti might have half a mind to ask xiao like what? - just because he’s venti and if he wants to stay in denial, it’s not like xiao can do anything about it. obviously venti knows what xiao means by like this: like a mermaid stuck in between two identities. like a coward running away from the truth. like a human.  

venti’s eyebrows shoot up at his question and xiao feels his pulse pick up. “honestly?” venti lets out a short laugh, “until i find myself wanting something else. you know how it is already, xiao.”  

xiao feels something ugly blossom inside, and a scowl finds itself on his face, as he says, “enlighten me if i’m wrong, venti, but falling in love with a human has never been part of the drill, so, no i don’t know how it is.”  

venti barely pays any attention to xiao’s harsh shift in tone. “why does that make any difference?”  

“of course it makes a difference! you’re just going to leave them behind the moment you think you want something else? what happened to wanting to stay? or was tackling the concept of love just another thing on your bucket list? now that’s done you can pretend it never existed?” xiao hisses in reply.  

“calm the fuck down, xiao. it’s not like i’m ending their life – they'll live, and they’ll move on. what’s the big deal?” xiao stares at venti, incredulous. he thinks back to the venti who looked scared and vulnerable as he told xiao that he caught feeling for a human, thinks back to the way his eyes shone when he spoke about him. then he realises, venti has always been a great performer.  

“you-” xiao begins, suddenly at a loss of what to say. “you never loved them, did you? you were just so wrapped up by the idea of love, by the idea of having someone to love – it was never about them, was it?”  

he thinks back to everything venti told him and he realises that everything sounded so painfully superficial - as if all that mattered was the grandness of it all, the theatrics of having a forbidden lover; of having a dangerous secret; of being in love.  

xiao continues staring at venti, focusing on the way he bites the inside of his cheek. he doesn’t know whether to laugh or cry. of course venti didn’t love them, of fucking course he didn’t actually want to commit; because venti has always been full of empty promises and words so sweet that it leaves a burn on your tongue. actually, xiao can’t understand why he hadn’t caught on earlier.  

venti lets out a sigh, and smiles softly. xiao knows what this means: admittance, exasperation, defeat.  

“so what if it was never really about them. what difference does it make to you, xiao, if i decide to break a few hearts? it never meant anything – not with them, they were a musician and i wanted to sing. it was convenient. that’s what sirens do anyway, right? why does it matter to you?”  

venti’s voice is gentle, but his eyes are anything but. he’s looking at xiao expectantly, waiting for him to say something out of line and make him feel like the bad guy in the end. and all xiao can think is – is that what he is to venti as well – convenient?  

xiao doesn’t say anything but he knows exactly why he’s so put off by this. because for the better part of his friendship with venti, this is what he always thought would end up with him. he feared the day when he would come to a realisation that venti never actually  cared for him, despite what his gentle gestures and soft voice might suggest. that in the end, venti only wanted the  idea  of having a close bond with a siren, that it was never specifically xiao. that in a blink of an eye, venti could replace him with any other siren that was too weak for bright smiles and shining eyes.  

xiao contemplates lying to venti, giving an excuse instead of a proper answer. after all, it’s what he deserves. but he thinks that he’s done hiding away his fears until he finally has to face them out of having no other choice. he’s not venti; he won’t run away from the truth.  

“what difference it makes to me,” xiao begins, looking venti in the eye, “is that i don’t want that day to come by when you decide to pull this bullshit on me. talk about how grateful you are for having me by your side, then proceed to leave me behind in pursuit of whatever the fuck you want next. i don’t know what goes on your mind when you do things like these, but what goes on my mind is how replaceable i must be in your eyes. and you’re right - i’ll move on. but that doesn’t mean it won’t fucking hurt, being abandoned by who you thought cared for you.” 

when he stops talking, xiao has to physically restrain himself from jumping straight into the water and swimming away before he can hear what venti has to say. be brave, he tells himself, so he stays.  

venti lets out a shaky breath. “xiao,” he starts, voice strained. “i didn’t know that’s how you felt.” xiao wants to scoff, but he stops himself and lets venti continue what he has to say.  

“i know you won’t believe me, but you’re not like them. i could leave them behind cause you’re right, i don’t love them. but you’re - as shallow as it might sound – you're my best friend, and even though i can’t always stay by your side, i can’t let you go. not like that.”  

“i’m selfish and greedy and i can’t even pretend to promise that i’ll always be here, but i promise that i’ll always come back. my heart won’t stop wanting and i won’t stop making bad decisions, but at the end of it all, i’ll only ever have one xiao in my life. i’ll only have you to return to.”  

venti looks at him, and his eyes are a little glassy, and his smile is wavering. and for the first time in a while, xiao sees the same venti that first got him out of trouble with a couple of mermaids, sees the same venti that spent hours writing sheet music for him. he doesn’t see the mermaid that’s obsessed with life above the sea. he doesn’t see the person that leaves him with a feeling akin to heartbreak. for the first time in a while, he sees his best friend. 

“you’re awful,” xiao says, and venti doesn’t disagree. “you know you don’t deserve a second chance, but here you are, still asking for one.” 

venti smiles, albeit a little sadly. “yeah.”  

“i need some time to think,” xiao tells him, voice quiet, and venti nods. “but while i’m gone, take some time to think about what you really want. you can go around running after whatever your heart desires for as long as you want, but frankly? i’m done waiting for you to come back.”  

venti doesn’t reply. but xiao knows a reply isn’t what he’s looking for anyway. 

, 

xiao doesn’t come back. not for a couple of weeks, that is. instead, he uses that time for himself, to remember what it was like to live without venti as the centre of his axis. he stays away from the grotto, away from the little things that remind him of the mermaid. it’s a lot harder than xiao expects, and for the first few days, xiao sees bits of venti all around him: almost jarringly, in the smile of a potential victim – xiao had dropped him as prey almost immediately after the initial doubletake.  

this time is for xiao, and for xiao only.  

it’s a little lonelier than he remembers, xiao thinks. but it’s refreshing to be able to live without constant thoughts of a venturing mermaid clouding his mind. xiao thinks he quite likes it like this.  

in a surprising twist of events, xiao decides to visit lumine. the siren isn’t sure how the mermaid will take to his sudden appearance in the privacy of her home but xiao likes to think that they’re maybe there’s a chance to rekindle their friendship, and maybe lumine would like the company.  

he uses that small flicker of hope to drive himself back to that secluded part of the ocean once again, where it’s so deep below that the sunlight streaming in from above the surface only manages to cast an eerie glow. maybe it’s a mistake. maybe lumine will tell him to fuck off and stop bothering her, but xiao thinks that it’s a risk he’s willing to take.  

unlike venti, who makes his presence known through his gentle humming that flows through the halls, lumine is silent in her work. xiao almost doesn’t realise that lumine’s home until he smells a potion brewing from inside the heart of the monstrous cavern.  

slowly, he swims towards it, playing out the various scenarios of lumine reacting to xiao’s unexpected visit.  

“lumine?” xiao calls out tentatively, rounding one of the corners before entering the room he assumes the mermaid does most of her brewing in.  

he hears the sound of something hitting the floor, followed by silence. then a soft, “xiao? is that you?”  

at that, xiao enters the room and his eyes fall on lumine’s who’s staring at him with her eyes wide, brows furrowed. her look of confusion, however, only lasts for a moment before her face reverts back to her usual expression – relaxed and prepared.  

“what’s wrong? did something happen with venti? did the potion-” xiao cuts her off before she can finish, grimacing slightly at the mention of venti’s name.  

he wonders if he’s always been so transparent, whether everyone else associates xiao with venti so closely that the moment he arrives, it’s always got something to do with the mermaid. the thought alone serves as a bitter reminder of his present reality.  

logically, it makes perfect sense that xiao is here because of venti. in her defence, every time xiao has contacted lumine, it had been centred around him; it had been entirely for venti.  

“that’s not it. venti’s.. fine,” xiao finds himself saying, the words suddenly lumping at his throat. has it always been to difficult to admit the truth? “i’m here because i wanted company.”  

lumine stares at him, not saying anything. it causes xiao’s pulse to pick up, his face reddening at the sudden confession and he’s embarrassed because since when did he sound so pathetic? he almost expects lumine to sneer at him and call him pitiful. xiao doesn’t think he’d be able to argue with her.  

instead, lumine frowns and asks, “you came to me for company?”  

“yeah,” xiao mutters, “am i not allowed to?”  

“no, that’s fine i suppose. stay for as long as you’d like. it’s just weird? i guess?” lumine shrugs, eyes going back to the potions she was brewing. “i just never would have thought that you’d pick my company over venti’s.” 

at xiao’s lack of answer, she goes on to ask, “let me guess; trouble in paradise?”  

xiao rolls his eyes at her, mumbling, “since when were you so nosy?”  

lumine hangs her hands up feigning surrender. “hey, you’re the one who barged in uninvited. it makes sense for me to have a couple of questions, alright?”  

“did you know,” xiao says all of a sudden, causing a thick sort of tension to form in the atmosphere, “that i wouldn’t use the decoy?”  

lumine looks up from the potion that’s brewing and narrows her eyes at xiao, golden irises staring right back at him. “you’ve always had a soft heart, xiao,” lumine says and xiao opens his mouth to protest but closes it upon seeing the glare lumine sends him.  

“you think that you’re uncaring and cold, and to some extent its true; you’re no easy shell to break. but you’re also loyal. you’d never break anyone’s trust. i had a feeling that you’d hesitate using the decoy, but i was still surprised when venti came to me with the potion, and it actually did the job.”  

something uncomfortable squeezes inside of xiao’s heart at the mention of venti. “he came to you?”  

lumine hums in affirmation, going to say, “he was deadly nervous and something about him seemed.. off? i thought that maybe he was having second thoughts but then i realised that we more in a rush if anything, desperate, even.”  

xiao doesn’t reply. instead, he thinks about how in the last moments before venti took the potion, he probably didn’t even think about xiao – probably had more important things in his mind, and xiao wonders why this revelation causes his heart to sink.  

“hey, xiao,” lumine calls out and xiao snaps out of his thoughts and looks at lumine instead. “remember the price for the decoy? a favour? i’d like to ask one from you.”  

at that moment, xiao thinks of all the possible things lumine could ask from him, ranging from something mild like helping her run an errand, all the way to something that would probably get himself killed – but nothing prepares him for what lumine actually says: 

“i want you to be selfish.”  

“sorry?” xiao stutters out, brows furrowing.  

lumine rolls her eyes like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. xiao doesn’t quite follow. “for once in your damn life, think about yourself first and let yourself be selfish. let yourself have what you want. what’s stopping you?”  

xiao wants to scoff. he wants to roll his eyes and tell lumine what exactly  is  stopping him from pulling a venti and just doing whatever his heart desires. yet the words die on the tip of his tongue when he realises that everything he could tell her sounds too much like an excuse, and the conversation moves on, the favour long forgotten – but what lumine said still lingers in his mind.  

, 

xiao doesn’t realise what he’s doing until he finds himself scanning the surface of the familiar beach, eyes searching desperately for a familiar person – the same one he hasn’t seen in heaven knows how long; a week? a month? somewhere in the midst of it all, xiao lost count.  

maybe it would have hurt xiao’s pride years ago, crawling back to someone who’s only managed to hurt him, someone he wants nothing more than to push away but at the same time can’t help but being pulled into – and xiao supposes that this is what venti does to him, lead him to madness – the quiet sort that comes with being involved with venti, the sort that xiao didn’t catch himself spiralling into until he’s completely engulfed by it. but right now, what xiao wants – what he needs is closure.

this is it.  

something tells xiao that he’s all too late, that venti’s probably already left him behind in pursuit of other, grander things. and xiao has half the mind to give in to these thoughts because it’s not as if venti would ever seek him out first - but as much as it hurts, xiao wants to see for himself whether the universe has been kind enough to spare him a little inkling of hope, to grant him a chance to finally be able to take back all he’s given.  

all that doubt clears the moment he catches venti’s eyes staring straight ahead at him, widening as he begins to get up and towards the waters. his heartrate picks up and xiao wonders why he’s so damn nervous – it's just venti, but he realises that’s why; because it’s venti.  

lovely, kind and thoughtful venti that looks out for xiao during his worst days, always making sure that he’s feeling alright with his soft and lulling voice, large eyes filled with so much care. the venti that reminds him of the soft summer sun shining through the waters, casting an almost otherworldly glow to everything around him. so genuine that it breaks xiao’s heart, not with pain but with so much love that it swells until it bursts.  

cold, distant and outlandish venti, the one who disappears for weeks on end without a word only to come back, eyes dark and lips pulled to a frown, unknowingly crushing xiao’s heart every time he brushes the siren’s concerning questions with an irritated, i’m fine, alright? the venti that’s like the currents, harsh, unpredictable and unforgiving, drowning those who make the mistake of lingering for a second too long.  

confusing and unreadable venti, the one who masks his emotions so well that it leaves xiao never knowing how exactly he’s feeling, what he’s thinking. venti, so vast and wide and infinite, even more than that of the oceans, that of course xiao is terrified. because it’s just venti.  

xiao almost crawls his way through the sand to reach venti, but he stops – the both of them stop – mere steps away from each other and venti stares at him like he’s a myth come to life, stares at him like how xiao would to him, and he stays silent, almost like he’s afraid.  

when he opens his mouth, his voice is quiet and strained. “how have you been?”  

venti doesn’t have to say anything else for xiao to read between the lines, knowing what he really means by the way his eyes soften, his teeth worrying at his bottom lip – i missed you. xiao decides right then and there he's going to do what he’s been afraid of doing ever since he’s met the mermaid; be selfish. 

“i love you,” xiao blurts out and venti’s eyes widen as he continues staring at xiao. he looks like he wants to say something desperately, but xiao stops him before he has the chance to, heart lurching to his throat. “don’t say anything – please.”  

“i didn’t want to tell you this, not now. not ever, and definitely not like  this . because i knew it would be a burden on you and the last thing i’d ever want is to force you to stay. but i can’t go on like this, not when every time you leave, it feels like a rejection. like i’m not good enough for you to want to stay.” xiao doesn’t dare meet venti’s eyes, instead starts playing with the sand between his fingers in a futile attempt to calm his racing heart.  

“i’m sorry that you had to find out like this, and i’m sorry for being in love with you-”  

out of all the times xiao has thought of kissing venti, he imagined venti to taste warm and syrupy like honey, he imagined electricity buzzing in his veins every time they’d touch, the way he’d lean in to venti and finally be able to have the pretty mermaid to himself, so lovely and so near. finally, within reach. 

when venti kisses him, it tastes like regret.  

xiao freezes the moment venti leans in and it takes a moment for him to register what’s going on. venti’s plush lips are on his, and his hands are circling around his waist, the touch delicate and feather-light while the other curls around his jaw – and it’s everything xiao would have wanted but it’s not.  

when venti licks into his mouth, all xiao can taste is bitterness – like salty tears and unspoken goodbyes – and this isn’t what he’s imagined. this isn’t the venti in his head. because this venti kisses him desperately yet gently at the same time, like he has something to prove to himself – that he loves xiao back.  

perhaps at one point, xiao would have been willing to take this, would have hungrily eaten up any and all crumbs venti threw at him, just to make him feel loved and wanted, but this isn’t right. under the pale moonlight, with the starts hanging above, like all of his fantasies come to life, venti kisses xiao for the first time. xiao doesn’t kiss him back.  

instead, xiao pushes venti away, face flushed.  

the mermaid looks up at xiao, confused and his eyes still a bit glossed over. “i-i can’t do this,” xiao stutters out, moving away from venti, as if he’s recoiling. “don’t play with my feelings like that, venti. you don’t love me back.”  

venti narrows his eyes at xiao, a frown pulling at his lips. “i don’t think that’s for you to decide.”  

xiao shakes his head. “no, i think i can. me suddenly professing my love for you won’t change you, venti. you’ll only end up hurting me. when you do realise that commitment isn’t for you, you’ll break my heart whether intentionally or not.”  

“then what are you going to do?”  

xiao chews on his bottom lip, hard enough to draw blood, his heart still hammering in his chest. “let’s stop this here,” he says finally. “we only end up hurting each other. i hold you back from doing what you want, and it’ll be best if we just go our separate ways from here.” xiao’s voice cracks somewhere in between and he tries to bite back a grimace.  

“so you’re just going to leave? you’re going to tell me that you love me and just fucking leave?” venti – he's angry and if xiao’s being honest, he thinks that the mermaid is being a bit of a hypocrite. perhaps he’d give in a month or two ago, maybe grovel and stay and rot some more, but xiao is tired.  

“i’m sorry.” he doesn’t really mean it, but he doesn’t know what else to say. the world feels a little numb and if venti calls out for him as xiao plunges back into the water, he can’t hear him. xiao contemplates turning around, getting one final look at venti, lovely, lovely venti.  

he doesn’t.  

(instead, he swims deeper into the ocean, white noise filling his mind. xiao doesn’t pay attention to where he’s heading to, his mind overwhelmed with replaying everything that just happened. when he finally looks up, xiao realises he’s right in front of the grotto. it’s been empty for weeks.  

xiao finally bursts into tears.)  

, 

a week passes by, then a month. then a year.  

xiao doesn’t really think about venti for the most part. instead, he shifts back to how life was before they met, almost like venti never existed. except – he doesn’t because xiao doesn’t think that it’s possible to ever forget someone like venti.  

he thinks about venti sometimes late at night, wondering what he’s up to, but then that opens a plethora of questions that xiao doesn’t have answers to, so he ignores that train of thought. pretends xiao like he doesn’t care, and to some extent, he doesn’t.  

eventually, lumine gets taken away by the king and xiao tries not to think about that either. he feels oddly lonely; the pair had managed to rekindle some parts of their old friendship that faded over time. he thinks back to whether he could have done anything from preventing that from happening, then xiao realises that sooner or later lumine would have faced the king. if not by force, then by her own free will. there was nothing he could have done.  

(that doesn’t stop him for missing her, though.)  

with both lumine and venti out of the picture, xiao continues on with life as do the sun and the moon, an endless cycle. it’s quiet, but nothing he isn’t used to. he’s a siren before anything else, xiao reminds himself, and sirens work alone.  

yet on a cloudless summer night, xiao finds himself compelled to go back to the grotto, for the first time in years, for a reason unbeknownst to himself. xiaos calls himself insane for wanting to go back to the place that reminds him so much of venti, but he wonders if it’s still there, waiting for the very people who will not return.  

and maybe he is crazy for actually listening to his gut and returning to a part of the ocean that reminds him too much of venti, even if the latter hasn’t been here longer than he has. it feels all to foreign, pushing the familiar entrance and as xiao enters the actual grotto, a wave of nostalgia washes over him.  

then he hears crying and when xiao turns around, eyes widening, frantic. firstly, the grotto is in ruins, the once precious and dear artifacts shattered and thrashed on the floor. the familiar moonlight shines down from the small opening from the above and there, on the ground, is someone weeping.  

xiao can’t see their face, but he sees tufts of navy hair trailing to a lighter mint and a shaking body, limbs pale and soft, except it’s not a mermaid – there are tentacles, eight of them in a dark sangria, twisting and coiling and just there - and xiao knows what this is – a cecaelia.  

it must have heard xiao’s arrival because it looks up and xiao feels all the air knocked out of his lungs. the cecaelia stares at xiao, glossy eyes widening in shock, soft, pink lips parting and he whispers, “xiao?”  

his voice is hoarse and croaky, but to xiao it’s still so saccharine and sweet – so venti, that xiao can’t even doubt for a moment who it is. he looks so broken and helpless, eyes bloodshot with tear tracks down his cheeks and xiao wonders for a moment what must have happened for him to become this.   

but of course, he realises that it doesn’t matter. because it’s venti and he still looks so beautiful, with strands of hair falling over his eyes and freckles looking like constellations dotting his arms. maybe he doesn’t love venti like that anymore – it's been too long – but to xiao, venti has and always will be so beautiful; so goddamn lovely. 

venti pulls himself up, soft hiccups still coming from his mouth and he moves towards xiao, subtly and his tentacles follow, reaching out for him. maybe xiao should have flinched away at the sight, but he doesn’t because it’s venti and xiao doesn’t think that he could ever refuse him if he tried.  

instead, xiao embraces venti, breathing in the other person, arms gently running down his back. venti burrows his face in the crook of xiao’s neck, and he feels the dampness from all of the tears venti shed, but he doesn’t care.  

“i’m a monster,” venti croaks out, voice so petite and small that it causes xiao’s heart to clench.  

he thinks about how he should reply, stuck between you have always been  and you will never be - and neither of them are false. instead, he opts for hugging him a little tighter, his presence as a wordless comfort.  

the tears continue to fall and venti continues to tremble, though a little less and xiao decides that maybe he wants to try again. xiao doesn’t believe in a devine being, but he believes in the lovely person in his arms, believes in him with his whole being.  

he hopes that it will be enough.  

” 

...

tonight, xiao is in an unfamiliar bar he would have never otherwise stepped foot in if it weren’t for aether and lumine dragging him along, under the guise of making him spend time with them. of course, xiao relents. he’d never admit it, but with how busy university has kept him, he missed the the two of them too.  

the bar is packed, more so than xiao would expect for a weekday night. when he brings this up to lumine, she says, “it’s probably because of that new performer, barbatos. he’s all the rage these days.”  

“who goes to a bar for the entertainment? also,  barbatos,  what kind of stage name is that?” xiao can’t help but ask, huffing out a laugh.  

aether smacks his arm at the remark, saying, “no, seriously, i heard he sold out all the tickets at his first concert a month ago.”  

xiao holds his hands up in mock surrender. “alright, i get it. i didn’t know the both of you were secret barbatos fans.” the trio quieten down as the lights in the bar flicker off, the spotlight shining onto the stage at the front. the twins really weren’t lying about the hype around this guy.  

just as xiao’s about to say something to aether who appears to be just as excited as the small crowd that’s anticipating the performance, the boy who has to be barbatos gets up on stage. at first impression, he’s certainly not what xiao had in mind. he has navy blue hair falling between his eyes, with the sides braided, a flower hairpin pinning back his bangs. there’s a dazzling smile on his face and a guitar in his arms and xiao has no idea what’s to come.  

that is, until barbatos opens his mouth to begin the song and xiao’s eyes widen. this boy - barbatos has the loveliest voice he’s ever heard, something akin to the chimes of bells when a gentle breeze passes through. he finds himself in a trance of sorts, unable to tear his gaze away, as though the magnetism pulling him to this performance transcends beyond simply a boy watching another sing in the confinements of a quiet bar.  

then, barbato’s eyes meet his, and in that moment, something within him just clicks. they widen, and xiao doesn’t know if it’s the heat of the moment making him see things or if a hint of recognition truly flashes through barbatos’ eyes. in reality, xiao knows that barbatos is performing to a crowd, and that he’s only one face among countless others, but it feels like this is for him, and him only.  

“dude, he’s totally looking at you!” aether hisses in his ear, but xiao ignores him because all he can focus on is wondering why the green of those eyes look so familiar.  

when barbatos eventually does tear his gaze away, xiao keeps looking. something in him tells him to not look away, and that’s how the doesn’t miss the way barbatos continues sneaking glances at him, too.  

later, after much pestering and egging on from lumine and aether, xiao will find the courage to approach barbatos who appears a lot more approachable when he isn’t bathed under the spotlight. xiao will find him just as captivating and  barbatos  will introduce himself as venti.  

and later, xiao will ask, “have we ever meet before?” just as venti will blurt out, “do i know you from somewhere?” venti will let out a light chuckle, cheeks painted a light pink and he will say, sorry, you just seem really familiar.  there will be that same pink colouring the tip of xiao’s ears and he will reply, no, you do too.   

but now, xiao lets himself enjoy the moment. he lets himself be a boy finding another boy heedlessly pretty while his friends send him knowing smiles as he feels his own cheeks heat up. for now, it’s enough. it might even be more than enough.  

(distantly, many lightyears away, the brightest star shines true, and right next to it lies another, though smaller, yet just as bright. they remain side by side, embedded within the fabric of time, for many years to come and go.)