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“Do you think we did it?” Naho looked around at her friends with teary eyes as they stood in front of Kakerus' home. The group of five has just brought their friend back home after a close call with death. This has to be the good end. Kakeru didn’t die at the time stated in the letter. Did they really change their future? Is Kakeru really saved?
Azu pulled Naho into an excited hug, laughing at their feat but crying as well.
“We did it! We saved Kakeru!”
A smile spreads across Naho’s face as she returns the hug. Soon the rest joined in for yet the second group hug of the night. Hagita stood off to the side, tears slipping out from under his glasses. Azu grabbed him by his shirt and pulled him in with the others. They all laughed and cried for a few more moments before going their separate ways for the night. Waving goodnight to each other, hopeful for tomorrow.
* * *
Naho entered the classroom just before the bell rang for first period. It was the first time in a while that she had slept in. She hadn’t been able to sleep for a while as she was always worrying about Kakeru. After last night it felt like a weight was lifted. The others felt the same as well.
Takako and Azu were over by their desks talking up a storm. Hagita was already in his seat, nose in a book, Suwa hovering over him. Naho placed her books on her desk and overlooked Kakerus. He wasn’t here yet? She felt a pit in her stomach form. Something was wrong. She hadn’t seen Kakeru yet today.
“Suwa,’ The girl looked over at the tall boy standing over Hagitas desk, “Have you seen Kakeru?”
Suwa turned his head and looked at Naho. She looked over. He looked over at Kakerus' empty desk and shook his head. “I haven’t,” He looked back over at Naho with a smile, trying to be positive about it, “I’m sure he just slept him, you know how he is.”
Naho exhaled the breath that she had been holding in and smiled, “You’re right!” Laughing nervously to herself as the school bell chimed. Everyone shuffled to their seats. She couldn’t help but keep looking over at the door in hopes Kakeru would come sauntering in.
He never did.
* * *
The night before, after the incident with the truck, Kakeru paced around his room. He couldn’t help but feel guilty for making his friends go through all of that just for him. He was happy that they cared. He was glad that they did. But he put them through so much hurt and worry. The dark cloud that loomed over his head grew bigger and darker. He still wanted to die. That cloud was getting in the way of the positives. He knew that he was cared about, even if the cloud was preventing him from feeling that.
He couldn’t stop crying either. He placed his hands on his cheeks, gently patting them in hopes to snap himself out of this state. The tears wouldn’t stop. Just like the cloud over his head wouldn’t go away. Even if there were people around him he didn’t know how much longer he could keep up trying to be okay. He didn’t want to burden them anymore. Maybe he should’ve stepped in front of the truck and not chickened out.
Kakeru continued to pace around his room, stuck in these thoughts. Going around in circles. Impulsively, he made the choice. This time he didn’t back down from it.
* * *
The group found out what had happened after school. They were all in their homes when they got the news.
Naho fell to her knees sobbing. “Why? Why?!” She repeated, crying into her hands. Her heart broke into tiny little pieces. She felt like everything she and the others had done was for nothing. It was all for nothing if the outcome was going to be the same as it was before. How could she live with that? She tried her hardest only to fail.
Hagita had received the news through his mother. He was in his room doing homework. His papers were covered in tears. Taking off his glasses he sobbed quietly into the palms of his hands. He thought about what he had possibly done wrong for this to happen. Maybe he shouldn't have acted so coldly towards Kakeru? Possibly have been more open about his thoughts and feelings?
Takako ripped up her letter. She was angry at herself mostly. The fact that she failed was going to eat her alive. Maybe she should’ve been more outspoken about things? Would’ve that been better? Would things would’ve been okay if she just wasn’t so quiet?
Azu cried into her pillow. The letter crumpled up in her fist. She thought back to the day that she encouraged Kareru and Ueda. She wished she hadn’t. Even before this very moment. If she didn’t would he still be here? Was it just that one small decision that broke it?
Suwa dropped his cell phone and ran out of his house. The letter fisted into his pants pocket as he hopped on to his bike. His tears flowed down cheeks as he rode as fast as he could. He knew that he had to go see Naho. As much as he knew everyone else was hurting he knew that she was going to blame herself the most. He almost fell off his bike and ran into Naho’s home. He mumbled a “Sorry,” to her parents as he made his way to her room.
Naho was curled up on her bed, her letter on the floor. She hugged a pillow tightly to her chest as she looked up at Suwa standing in her doorway.
“H-he..” She choked out, the words getting stuck in her throat as she began to sob again.
Suwa went over to her side, sitting himself on her bed gently and pulling her into a hug. He was careful with how he held her. Tears stuck to his face, eyes red, but not as red as hers. Naho let go of her pillow and turned herself into Suwa’s chest, gripping his shirt tightly.
“It’s all my fault..” She whispered in between sobs.
Suwa sniffed, closing his eyes tightly, feeling himself about to break.
“Maybe...some things can’t be changed…” He breathed before completely breaking down with Naho in his arms.