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“Dazai, why the hell is everything in your search history quora?”
They immediately lunged to take his phone back, squirming across both the bed and Chuuya to get the small device.
Chuuya however, had other plans. “Ah, ah ah~ you don’t get it back until you tell me what your were doing on Quora! Do you know how godforsaken that site is?!?”
He muscled his way on top of him, their phone in his hands.
They had been peacefully doing homework in Chuuya’s room. That is until Chuuya had taken Dazai’s phone, which led to this. Dazai had been distracted with geometry because it has three sides of course it’s a triangle what the fuck-
Chuuya sat on top of them, a grin painted across his cheeks as he clicked on one of the Quora links in history.
How do I convince my parents to let me get a binder? They can’t know I’m trans. 3 responses
So. You want a binder. Well, you might wanna think this through if your parents are transphobic. First, you’ll want to find the kind you want- please be wary of clasp/zipper/clip binders. Click to read more +
Chuuya stilled before starting to shake.
“Chuuya? You good? I can literally feel you shaking. Cmon the Quora searches aren’t even-“
At this point, he lost it. The shorter teen burst out laughing, his whole body shaking. It was the kind of laughter that makes your ribs ache, makes you feel like you’re gasping for air. Dazai turned pink and resumed squirmed, yelling that, “It wasn’t even that bad!”
“Please, Quora! Of all places you chose Quora!!”
“Shut up, shut up, shut up!” responded Dazai. They finally made it out from under Chuuya and kicked him off the bed with a long bony leg.
He wiped a tear from his eye- that fucker had seriously laughed so hard he was crying. Chuuya’s red hair escaped from its bun, flopping over his face and white t-shirt.
“Gim-gimme a sec and I’ll stop. I swear,” said Chuuya.
Dazai just again and shoved his face into the patterned sheets. They had little pigeons on them- a strange pattern for sheets but who was Dazai to judge. It was better than looking at a certain redhead.
When his laughter died down to grin, they finally looked up with a pout. Chuuya stood up and patted their head. “Awww, you poor baby. Did you at least find what you were looking for on there?”
Dazai shook his head, then thought better of it. “Eh. Kinda. I’m starting to, like, really need one though. Not all of us can be as underdeveloped as chibi.”
“Hey!”
He stuck his tongue out at him. “Quora just said to ask for it like it was a compression sports bra or like it was for a Halloween costume.”
Chuuya paused. “Hey, that second one might actually work. There’s no way you’d ever get away with that sports bra one, you’re to lazy for that- but saying it’s for a costume… now that has merit.”
The lazy part was definitely true. Dazai wouldn’t touch sports with a ten foot pole, but Halloween…. he and Chuuya did usually go all out.
“What should I go as then to convince them I need it?”
Chuuya joined them on the bed, wiggling over until his arm was touching Dazai’s. “Hmm. Michael Myers?”
“Nah. Haven’t even seen it.”
“Okay. That Scream dude- what was it, Billy?”
“Ooh that one’s not too bad. Keep going though. We’ve seen so many of those stupid Western horror movies but I can’t remember any now!”
“Jason Vorhouse or whatever?”
“Meh. The costumes kinda lame.”
“Freddy Krueger?”
“Not scary enough.”
“Just go as a clown and slap on some extra gore.”
“I think you’d make a better clown than I would, but I might have to go with that. Ooh!! You could be Chucky!!!”
Chuuya slapped a hand over there mouth before jabbing them in the ribs. “Cram it you overgrown dead fis- AYE DONT FUCKING LICK ME!”
He giggled and rolled on top of him. “Aww, you cant even handle a bit of spit, can you?”
Chuuya rolled over twice before Dazai caught on. “Hey hey hey don’t roll us off the bed!”
thunk
Dazai groaned, “You have hardwood floors you dick!”
“Ha. That’s what you get,” replied Chuuya before he pushed himself up and off of him.
“Ugh. I hate you.”
“Awww, I hate you too! So glad we can agree on that, Mr. Quora searches.”
Dazai slowly sat up and turned to face him. “Bring up my Quora searches one more time, I dare you.”
Chuuya grinned, saying, “What are you gonna do? Search up how to kill me?”
They awkwardly lunged forward from their sitting position and grabbed on to Chuuya’s ankles who let out a squeal as he toppled forward when Dazai yanked.
“EEEH!!! WHY ARE YOUR HANDS SO COLD OH MY GOD!” He tried to kick him off.
Dazai just grinned, showing off what they had always affectionately referred to as ‘vampire teeth.’
“Oh no, no, no, no, we are NOT doing the vampire teeth thing!” yelped Chuuya as he tried to break out of their death grip.
“Oh come on Chibi,” he said. “This is what you get for Not Dropping The Quora Thing!!”
Chomp
Chuuya screamed. Loud. Dazai immediately let go to cover his ears before continuing to lick a stripe up his calf.
He shot him a dirty look. “You better thank god Kouyou isn’t home or she would’ve beat both our asses for that. NOW STOP LICKING MY LEG.”
“Oh my god Chibi, you scream like a three-year-old on a sugar high!
They started to giggle, and the redhead decided it was best to seize the moment. He brought up his foot, quickly ripped the sock of, and shoved his toe in their mouth.
It took a second for him to process, but then Dazai was the one screaming now, eyes blown wide in shock. Almost immediately he bit down. Then Chuuya was screaming, just as loud and almost as high pitched as before.
“AHHHHHHHH-“
“AHHHHHHHH-“
The door slammed open and they froze. Kouyou stood in the doorway, Starbucks shirt still on from her part time job, bun messy and frazzled.
“If you don’t shut the fuck up right now I’m going to funnel concrete through your nasal cavity and into whatever’s left of your brains. I want complete and utter silence. Do. You. Hear. Me?”
Both teens began to nod frantically, despite Chuuya’s big toe still being in Dazai’s mouth.
“Fantastic,” Kouyou said. Her face twisted into a crazed smile. She turned and slammed the door.
“Wow Cthuuwa. Your sthistsers hawth.”
“What THE FUCK did you just say about MY SISTER!?!?”