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“Ouch!” Imogen groaned as she turned her book’s page, taking her index finger to her mouth with a pained expression. Immediately, Laudna’s eyes went up from her own book to check on whatever had happened to her partner, always attentive to Imogen, always making sure she was taking care of her.
“Did you cut yourself, darling?” She asked to which Imogen nodded, finger still in mouth. Laudna got up, walking up to her, taking her hand in a way that, perhaps, one wouldn’t expect to be so gentle when coming from someone like her.
It wasn’t a bad cut, of course. Merely a paper cut, but it was probably stinging like hell and from Imogen’s pouty expression she knew she was right. She took her partner’s hand to her mouth, placing a little kiss, not on the cut, but close enough to it.
“I’ll get you some gauze, wait.” Imogen nodded in response, taking her finger back to her mouth.
Blood. There was quite a lot of blood, not because the cut was super deep or anything, but mostly because that was a very sensitive region. There wasn’t much of a reason to worry about the cut itself, yet, Laudna couldn’t stop thinking of Imogen’s bleeding finger.
Laudna had a strange relationship with blood. Most of the time, she found it incredibly fascinating, how everybody had that crimson, warm liquid inside of themselves and how, sometimes, one could get a glimpse of it. How everyone was composed of that same liquid.
Well, everyone but her, in a way.
It wasn’t that she didn’t have blood. She did. A reminiscent from the time before she was this , but if she got a paper cut like Imogen’s, something so trivial, she wouldn’t bleed that much, if at all. No, it would take her way more than that.
She remembered testing that out. Not out of a will to actually hurt herself, even though she would be lying if she said she had never felt like doing so, especially right after she came back, when everything was so confusing and absolutely nothing made sense, when her whole existence felt like continuous torture. Before she made herself Pâtè. Before she met Imogen.
She returned to the living room with the gauze, patches and some alcohol, sitting beside her partner and opening up her palm.
“Here, give me your finger please…” Imogen nodded, extending her hand at her. “This is gonna sting, you know that.”
"It 's alright.” She agreed, yet when the alcohol touched her skin, she hissed and Laudna hated herself for a second, for hurting her dear friend even if it was for her own good. She grabbed the scissors that she would always carry with her, cutting the gauze and carefully tying around her finger, putting the patch around it.
She could easily hurt Imogen with her nails. No, her claws , but she was always so careful with Imogen. At the beginning, it was something she would have to actually watch out for, but at this point, it was second nature. Not for Imogen only, but people in general, she knew how to touch without hurting them, but it all started with the younger Sorceress.
“There you go…” Laudna said once she finished patching her partner’s wound. Imogen looked up at her, a smile curling up in her lips making it impossible for her to not smile back. Getting a glimpse of that smile, especially when it was directed at her, almost made Laudna feel the touch of life in her chest again. Her heart, which usually would beat so slowly, would actually speed up enough for her to feel it in her chest, for a brief moment, but it was there.
“Thank you. I-I feel so stupid for getting a paper cut…” Her expression shifts into something that resembles frustration, a little bit of it. She knew every little nuance of Imogen’s facial expressions to know it wasn’t as if she was completely frustrated, but it was still there.
“Happens to everyone, Imogen. But don’t you worry! Should get better in no time!” Laudna offers in response in her usual unique “cheerfulness”, her friend’s expression immediately switching to a little smile.
“Yes. Of course…”
“Perhaps we should take a break from research? You look fairly tired, dear.”
“So do you, you know?” Imogen’s tone was playful, Laudna smirking in response.
“Please, darling. I am dead . I always look tired.” At that, both of them laughed. It wasn’t common for Laudna to talk about her condition, let alone laugh out of it, except for when it was only the two of them. And she could be hilarious . Most of all, her sense of humor was so uniquely hers that Imogen wouldn’t have any other way.
As weird as Laudna could be, she wouldn’t have any of it differently.
“Well, fair! You have a point!” The words were followed by a touch as she took Laudna’s hand and started dragging her to the door, going as far as the little backyard Zhudanna had where she took such good care of her plants. She laid down on the grass, watching the night sky as that would often calm her down, stars and moons too far away to whisper their secrets into her mind, the grass underneath her was soft and it smelled nice, freshly cut.
Laudna laid down beside her. She didn’t find calmness in the night sky like Imogen did, but there was something about those little spots of light in the dark that warmed her up inside, even if just a little.
She had a fondness for the moons, though. Catha was always so beautiful, it was no wonder she was usually people’s favorite moon, lighting up the night sky with her strong silver light. Even Laudna herself remembered finding comfort in her light. Meanwhile, Ruidis, as far away as she was, barely had a light to be seen. Red and small, some people would call her cursed.
But they were both perfectly in balance. At that moment, while Catha waxed, Ruidis waned, hiding herself behind her partner’s beauty but still always there, keeping her in orbit, always together, in that harmonious dance.
“Are you anxious about tomorrow?”
“Well, I mean… Y-yes.” Laudna almost regretted asking as she heard the stutter come back to Imogen’s speech. It didn’t cost her much to start stuttering, any little nervousness or anxiety would immediately make her speech sound more uncertain, more cautious. “I’ve been wanting this for so long… W-what if they don’t let us in?”
“Well… If that ends up happening… We’ll just find another way, alright? Even if we have to roll up in that school.” Imogen laughed at the thought of Laudna going back to school, but she was thankful for her loyalty. She turned sideways, her eyes following the shape of Laudna’s face and skin, a skin that when touched by the light of Catha looked like moonlight itself.
“You know you wouldn’t have to, right?” Not that she would ever want her gone, but enrolling in a school didn’t mean they had to be apart either, she didn’t think there was anything that could keep them apart.
“As if I would let you stay alone in a crowded place, Imogen. Besides...” She looked down and started detaching something from her skirt. Imogen immediately sighed, knowing what was coming.
Two years of this and I never get used to it.
Laudna pulled up Pâté and started manipulating the rat, changing to her ventriloque voice.
“ I need to make more friends!”
“Oh, do you now?” Imogen laughed, booping the crow skull’s beak. “I’ve heard there are cats in that school. I don’t think it’s safe for rats, Pâté.”
“ Well, miss Imogen. I’m a very smart rat. Did you forget I’m part crow? Crows are very smart. The cats will never catch me alive!”
A pause.
“ Oh, right!” Followed by a giggle, or rather two giggles for again, Imogen started laughing. She poked Laudna’s chest, eyes meeting hers again.
“You know, as creepy as Pâté can be for the general public, I’m pretty sure we could find our own special public for puppet shows. You’re… Very good at this.”
“Oh, you know. Been doing it for a while… You think we could make coin out of it?”
“Maybe… If nothing works out, we should just start the Pâté puppet show!”
“Hmm… But you need your own Pâté, Imogen.”
“I’m not touching a dead rat, Laudna.”
“Oh, who says he needs to be dead? That’s my specialty. We could get you a normal, fluffy puppet… It would fit our... Aesthetics quite nicely.”
Imogen laughed, snuggling a bit closer to her partner, her hand wrapped around Laudna’s waist in such a natural, organic way none of them seemed to really mind.
“What should I call it, though? Pâté is a special boy, being a De Rolo and all… Maybe my rat should just be a country rat.”
“Like we get a… Prince and the Pauper thing going but with rats?”
“I suppose!”
“I can see it… Yes. Our puppet show will make us rich.” It was Laudna who wrapped her arm around Imogen this time, pulling her closer to herself and placing a kiss on the top of her head. “And we won’t even need to get into that college, people will simply tell us information because we’re so very important.”
“It would be nice, wouldn’t it?” Imogen said dreamly, looking up at the sky again as she snuggled up to Laudna, her cold skin making her shiver at first but it didn’t take her long to adjust, her coolness more comforting than any fire could ever be.
She knew what that was, of course. She had realized when sharing a bed with Laudna in their travels started feeling more comforting and pleasant than it used to, when she started trying to find excuses to touch her, even if it was merely brushing her arm against hers. When Laudna’s appearance stopped being creepy and weird and turned into something tragically beautiful in her eyes.
But of course, Laudna was the only person she had. Her only friend. Her family. That should not be risked.
They remained in silence for a couple of seconds, eyes on the sky, their breaths in sync. Moments like this were so easy. Imogen’s mind would be almost quiet. Not completely, she could still hear Laudna herself but her whispers had always been quieter, like soft background music. She never truly understood why and it was just one of the million things she was trying to figure out, hoping that they would be able to find information at that damn university.
What if she failed, though?
The thought crept at the back of her mind, among the whispers, among so many things she wished she didn’t hear or didn’t see, there were her own thoughts which could be a form of torture themselves.
It was almost easy to ignore them, though, when she was always filled with everyone else. To ignore how intrusive and cruel they could be, to ignore things about her past that she didn’t think she would ever be able to understand. To ignore herself.
“Imogen?” Laudna’s voice was soft when she called her, her hand meeting her cheek and caressing it gently. “I know you’re still worried, but we’ll get through this, okay? If this doesn’t work, we’ll find a way, as we always do.”
Imogen simply nodded, the smile that touched her lips not quite getting to her eyes as she snuggled up to Laudna again, letting her eyes meet the skies again, fixated on Ruidis.
She had always been fascinated by it. Catha was beautiful, of course, and most people had it as their favorite moon but ever since she could remember, she had always found Ruidis quite intriguing, kind of strange, but it was also the only thing that brought color to that dark night sky.
Laudna watched her quietly, long pale fingers brushing through lilac hair. She had always enjoyed the feeling of it, how Imogen’s locks would embrace each of her fingers, soft and gentle, soothing her own demons and troubles.
She was so warm too. Of course, every other person was warm for Laudna, but it wasn’t just Imogen’s skin that felt warm to her, there was something about her that warmed her up inside as well, something that actually almost made her feel alive again. Like her barely beating heart was actually functional.
Tomorrow would be a long day, whether they got into the university or not and just thinking about it filled her head with doubts, but there was one thing she was sure of. She would follow Imogen wherever she needed to go, do whatever she needed to do to help her find the answers she needed.
There wasn’t much she could offer, but she would be there for as long as Imogen needed her to be.