Chapter Text
Understandably, becoming the host to a symbiotic alien from outer space comes with a few weird side effects.
The first of those is Venom’s appetite and hunger.
Eddie had never eaten as often or as much as he probably should have before bonding with Venom - he’s a dedicated journalist who gets lost in his work, what can he say? - but afterwards, it feels like he has to eat an entire buffet for every meal, as well as several snacks, just to make a dent in Venom’s hunger.
There’s also Venom’s penchant for eating people, although Eddie’s pretty sure that the symviote doesn’t actually need to eat people and is just fucking with him instead.
A third effect of this is that if Eddie ignores Venom’s request (demand) for food long enough - usually when he’s engrossed in writing an article or, you know, asleep - Venom will threaten to just start eating Eddie’s organs instead.
Once when Eddie was particularly engrossed in a paper and had ignored Venom longer than usual, the symbiote thought it would be funny to just bite one of Eddie’s organs. You know, just to teach him a little lesson about ignoring his body mate.
He chose Eddie’s kidney, for whatever fucking reason, and the agony that Eddie felt when those sharp teeth bit in was indescribable. He jerked off the couch, clutching his side and screaming as he fell to the ground, seizing. Venom started apologizing instantly, over and over and over as he quickly healed the damage he had done.
Venom has learned patience now. Eddie wishes he’d learned it sooner.
Speaking of bodymate, that’s another part of having a symbiotic entity living inside of you that Eddie wasn’t prepared for; the absolute lack of privacy in any aspect of your life ever again.
There were a few traumatizing firsts between the two of them, with that - showering, pissing, fucking morning wood - that Eddie chooses to pretend never happened and has no intention of ever thinking about ever again.
But the third of these things, partly related to sharing a bodymate, is cohabitating with someone who knows your every thought. Which does come in handy with some cases, where Venom asks a question and Eddie’s mouth is full, all he has to do is think of his reply, and Venom will know.
However, there’s (obviously) a downside to this. You see, Eddie has chronic depression and as a result, sometimes just has incredibly dark thoughts that filter through his head. He’ll never act on them - once, he almost did, back when he and Anne were still in New York (which is why they left) - but generally, he just ignores them.
Venom, however, has never experienced something like that before but his reaction to his first exposure to one of Eddie’s dark thoughts was, in hindsight, rational.
They were in the shower, almost a year after everything with Carlton Drake, Riot, and the Life Foundation, but not long enough that Eddie has stopped having nightmares about it.
(Another part of sharing a head with someone Eddie never thought he’d have to explain)
Eddie hadn’t been sleeping well (again, because of nightmares and just generally working too late) and had simply decided to just stand in the hot water (maybe this side of too hot, but it’s not like there was anyone but Venom - who didn’t know it was too hot - to scold him for it) and stare blankly at the wall, blinking slowly and just listening to the sound of the water rush down the drain.
He hadn’t been thinking about anything in particular, mostly just focusing on the sound of the water, so maybe that’s part of the reason why this dark thought scared Venom as much as it did.
What if I smashed my head as hard as I could into the wall? What would break first? My head or the wall?
Eddie hadn’t even realized he’d had the thought - they’ve been such a normal thing for him for years that he’s learned to ignore them - but suddenly (for him) his heart is racing and he’s in the middle of the bed even though he doesn’t remember getting out of the shower.
Venom is wrapped around his head like a weird, gelatinous helmet, and no matter how hard he tries, Eddie can’t control any of his body.
“Vee?” He asked tentatively. “Venom? Buddy? What’s uh...wanna tell me what’s going on.” He can still hear the shower so he added, “And why we’re wasting water?”
What was that?
Eddie frowned. “What was what?”
That thought.
“What thought?”
The thought. Venom repeated, as though that made them anymore clear. Bad thought. Pain thought. Why does Eddie think that?
Eddie gave an uneasy laugh. “Buddy, I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he replied.
Venom was silent. Bad thought. They repeated.
Eddie still doesn’t know what he’s talking about, but he suddenly has a feeling so he asked,
“Did I...have a thought about hurting myself?”
He feels Venom tense around his body, forming to curl over his shoulders. Yes.
Shit, Eddie hadn’t even realized Venom would have such a bad reaction. Truth was, everything had been such chaos with meeting the symbiote and stopping Drake and Riot and after that, there had still been chaos for months that Eddie had just totally forgotten he even had those thoughts.
He guessed they must have been put on pause or something.
“I wasn’t actually going to do it,” Eddie soothed. Venom tightens a little more. They don’t believe him. “They’re called intrusive thoughts.”
He can feel venom shifting at the word, picking at his brain and his memories for a definition, which they won’t find because Eddie doesn’t actually know what the dictionary says it means.
Intrusive thoughts? They repeated.
“Sure,” Edide replied. “They can be thoughts about hurting yourself or others, or thoughts about what might happen, or even thoughts about driving your car off a bridge.” He shrugged, pleased Venom seemed to have allowed him that much control over his body again, and added, “But you never act on them.”
They were bad thoughts.
“Everyone has them.”
Everyone wants to smash their head into the wall to see which will break first?
“Well, no,” Eddie replied. “But not everyone’s brains work as well, so some people’s brains have darker thoughts than someone else's might.” Venom is quiet, processing, so Eddie asked, “I’m not going to do it, so can I go turn off the shower before we rack up any higher of a water bill?”
Venom doesn’t reply but they do give Eddie his limbs back and he goes and shuts off the water, drying off himself and the long trail of water from the bathroom to the bedroom where he’d dripped on the floor when Venom dragged him over.
The symbiote still hasn’t said anything by the time Eddie has pulled on a t-shirt and boxers for bed and he climbs in under the (slightly damp) duvet after turning off the light, shifting a few times to get comfortable before asking the darkness,
“You know that even if I do try and act on one of my thoughts, you’re there to stop me, right?”
He feels something gentle squeeze press in his chest and Venom’s low reply of, Yes. We are Venom. If you die, we die.
Eddie smiled. Of course that would be Venom’s logic. He shakes his head and yawns, drawing the duvet up to his shoulders and closing his eyes.
“Night Venom,” he mumbled, words slurring as he already started drifting off.
Venom’s still pensive voice quietly replied. Goodnight, Eddie.
……………………………..
Eddie wakes up the next morning way too early, groaning as he lifts his head off the pillow to squint in the low lighting at the wall behind his bed, then turning his gaze to the glowing clock beside him.
4:19AM.
He groaned low in his throat again, dropping his head face down on the pillow. Beneath his skin, he feels Venom stir - still not something he’s used to - and ask,
You are awake.
Yep. Eddie thought back.
Your breathing is strained.
Good, maybe I’ll suffocate.
Eddie should have seen it coming but he still lets out a yelp when Venom takes control of his body and practically chucks Eddie down to the end of the bed, though he miscalculates and his host rolls right onto the floor.
“Ow, fuckin’ hell , Vee!” Eddie groaned, clutching the back of his head and pushing up to his knees, even though it didn’t hurt as badly as he’s making it seem.
If you die, we die.
“Yeah, I know, you already told me that,” Eddie grumbled.
Venom is silent. You had another bad thought. They pointed out.
“Yeah, didn’t we already have this conversation?” Eddie asked. “They tend to happen more often when I’m tired.”
Venom is quiet for a moment before apparently deciding they have nothing more to say in the conversation and so instead demands,
Food.
Eddie groaned. “But it’s so early,” he whined, even as he got to his feet and trudged into the kitchen. “I wanna go back to bed.”
We want to eat. Or we will eat you.
Eddie rolled his eyes and popped a few tater tots into the oven, setting it to start and leaning back against the island with a yawn, rubbing his eyes with the hell of his hand as he watched the food slowly cook.
He suspects, since this is the second time it’s happened, that he and Venom are eventually going to have to have a talk regarding intrusive thoughts and that Venom doesn’t have to rip Eddie away from every single situation so violently, just because one passed through his mind.
He figured it might help to have Anne help with the conversation too, since he doubted Venom would believe him since he’d still overreacted the second time, even though Eddie had explained that he never intends to act on any of his intrusive thoughts.
The oven beeped and Eddie shook himself out of his thoughts, yawning again as he opened the oven door. The start of an intrusive thought flits through his head - what if I just reached in and placed my hand on the burning wire? - but he somehow manages to catch it and shut it down before Venom sees it.
The symbiote gobbles the tater tots down faster than Eddie thought possible and still demands more afterwards. Which is fair, Eddie supposes, but he’s tired and really doesn’t want to make any more food, he just wants to go to bed.
He’s not sure if Venom is reading his brain waves or somehow caught that thought because he remarked.
Bring the chocolate. You can sleep and we will eat.
Eddie was tired enough to agree, even though he hated when Venom ate in bed because he always ended up finding leftover chocolate chips in his sheets several days later. So he nodded and pulled open the fridge, grabbing the large bag of treats and carrying it into the bedroom, handing it to Venom when the symbiote formed his head and an arm before Eddie crawled into bed, eyes already falling closed in exhaustion.
“Night Ven,” Eddie slurred, asleep before Venom could even reply.
……………………………..
The next day, Eddie texted Anne and asked if she’d be interested in having lunch together. It took a few hours for her to reply - understandable, of course, since Eddie had texted her last minute - but she eventually agreed with an affirmative and invited him over to her place at one.
“Hi Eddie,” Anne said with a smile, embracing him tightly after she answered the door. “How are you?”
“I’m good,” Eddie replied, smiling as the two of them took their seats in the kitchen where Anne already had lunch prepared. “How are you? How’s Dan?”
Alive because you won’t let us eat him.
Eddie ignored the comment, though a smile still tugged on his lips as he listened to Anne tell him about what she and Dan had gotten up to since they’d seen each other last.
“So what’s the real reason you asked to have lunch?” Anne asked with a fond smile once they’d finished lunch. “It wasn’t just to catch up.”
Eddie chuckled, but Anne could read the nervousness in the sound. “Sure it was,” he replied. “That and uh...I was hoping you could help me explain something to Venom.”
His response is cautious, a little uneasy. When Eddie had finally come clean about Venom, Anne hadn’t been very happy with him. Which was fair, considering Eddie had been lying to her for three months about Venom being gone and dead and after she found out, Anne said she needed some time to get used to it.
Some time ended up being an entire month and a half before she finally started talking to Eddie again.
Since then, they just hadn’t ever mentioned Venom and the symbiote had seemed content to stay quiet and not make himself known, uncharacteristically.
“Sure,” Anne replied, allowing Eddie to release the breath he hadn’t really known he was holding. “What’s going on?”
“So,” Eddie began slowly. “Uh, you know my...uh, the dark thoughts I always kinda get?”
“Yeah,” Anne replied. “Why?”
“I’ve had maybe two in the last day,” Eddie began. “Which isn’t, you know, abnormal, but Venom has kind of been... overreacting to them-”
If Eddie wanted to say more, he didn’t get a chance before Venom’s head formed out of his shoulder - Anne flinching back just slightly before quickly covering it with a shift of her shoulders - and remarked,
“Eddie wanted to hurt himself. He wanted to see if his head or the wall would break first. He wanted to suffocate.”
Anne blinekd, processing, before remarking, “Pretty mild then.”
The gaping look Venom gave her and the stunned shock at her complete inability to be worried that flooded their bond made Eddie snort, chuckling lightly and bringing a smile to Anne’s face too.
“Venom, those are perfectly normal,” She explained. “Everyone has intrusive thoughts.”
“Everyone thinks of smashing their head into the wall?”
“Well, no ,” Anne agreed. “But...some humans are more... sad than others are.”
Eddie scowls. “Hey,” he objects, even though he knows she’s not technically wrong.
Anne merely smiles and reaches across the island to pat his hand before turning back to Venom.
“So some humans are more sad and that means their thoughts are sometimes darker than someone else’s.”
“Do you have intrusive thoughts?”
“Sure, everyone does,” Anne replied, patient even though she and Eddie have both already explained that to Venom. “I don’t typically think about hurting myself but I sometimes have thoughts about driving my car off of a bridge.”
Venom stares at her, as though she’s lost her mind, and Eddie just starts laughing. Venom learning new things about the human race has honestly been one of the perks of their symbiosis. At least to Eddie, anyway.
“It’s normal,” Venom finally concludes.
“Perfectly normal,” Anne replied as Eddie nodded along. “Sometimes Eddie won’t notice he even has these thoughts. He doesn’t act on them though.”
“He almost did.”
Eddie and Anne flinch at the reminder and Eddie feels a wash of regret go through their bond, Venom immediately knowing that he shouldn't have poked around that far in Eddie’s head.
“That was a long time ago,” Eddie remarked. “I’m better now.”
Venom still isn’t sure, Eddie can feel that in his bond and Anne must be able to see it on his face because she remarks,
“If it helps, you can just lightly prompt Eddie. Just let him know he had one. I used to do that, when we were still together.” She shrugged. “I mean, I couldn’t read Eddie’s mind, but I could usually tell when he was having a thought.”
“Sometimes things are triggering,” Eddie added. “That’s what causes some thoughts, so I sometimes need someone to tell me I’m having a bad thought so I can step away from the situation.”
Venom contemplates that for a few moments before sinking back into Eddie’s shoulder. Eddie just shrugs, figuring that Venom must agree and if he has questions later, Eddie can try and answer them. Now that it’s just him and Anne though, he feels guilt rolling in his stomach and knows he needs to say something.
“Listen, Anne,” he begins. “I know I should have told you about Venom from the start-”
“You’re right, you should have,” Anne cut in. “But...I think I get why you didn’t.”
Eddie makes a curious noise. “Why?” He asks because he truthfully isn’t even sure why he hid it. Or maybe he is and he just feels bad about it and has chosen to forget.
Anne gives a small smile. “I gave you so much shit about it,” she replied. “From the-the lobster tank at the restaurant-” Eddie chuckled at the reminder. “To...the first time I ever saw Venom. I never...I never stopped to ask if you were okay, I just yelled at you. I blamed you for all of it.” She reached across the island again to wrap her hand around his wrist. “I shouldn’t have. I’m sorry.”
“You reacted normally,” Eddie objected. He chuckled. “Should have seen the way I reacted, people probably thought I was crazy, talking to myself.”
Anne smiled lightly. “I think I can imagine,” she replied, reminding Eddie that she’d been a host to Venom too, at one point.
Eddie cleared his throat. “I should have told you from the start though,” he remarked. “You even asked me if he was still alive-”
“And we’ve already discussed why you didn’t.” Anne gives his wrist a light squeeze. “You’re forgiven.”
Eddie smiled.
…………………………………………..
Venom was silent as Eddie walked down the street back towards their apartment, having enjoyed lunch with Anne and catching up, feeling better now that they’d finally talked - really talked - about everything and he knew for certain that she didn’t hate him.
His eyes wandered with his mind, drifting over towards the street on his right as he mused,
What if I just threw myself under the next truck that-
An odd tugging sensation in his chest drew him out of his thoughts before Venom rumbled in his head.
Eddie.
Eddie paused, placing a hand on his chest and looking around, expecting to find someone had been following them for the last block. When he didn’t see anyone else, he quietly asked,
“Yeah? What’s wrong?”
Bad thought.
It took Eddie a moment to realize what Venom was talking about, despite the conversation he and Anne had just had, and when he did make the connection he smiled and chuckled.
“Thanks bud,” he replied, continuing onwards. “And thanks for not flinging me to the ground.”
Anne suggested simply prompting. We like Anne.
“Yeah, I like Anne too.”
We will eat anyone who does not like Anne.
Eddie rolled his eyes. “Sure, Vee,” he agreed.
As long as they are bad.
“As long as they’re bad.”