Chapter Text
It never was easy for Bakugou. Not in the way it was for others. He struggled a lot more, stringing words together just to have them stumble from his mouth. You could say he was incompetent. But he’d probably kill you before the thought even crossed your mind. Because with what he lacked in, he excelled elsewhere. Bakugou was not to be underestimated.
He had passion that would uproot you, a kind that would give your thought process whiplash. You’d have no time to analyze him. No time to dig deeper than the surface of what he’d throw in your face. Kirishima would tell you it’s a carefully crafted distraction. Not many believe him.
“Come on,” Kirishima ushered Bakugou, grabbing him by the hand. School had just ended and it was a fairly warm afternoon. Although they didn’t get much sun in their town, it would get humid during the season. The kind that would make you stick all over and crave the biting breeze of the previous harsh winter.
Bakugou didn’t need to ask where he was dragging them off to. He knew. He could tell with just one glance at Kirishima's face. It didn’t stop him from scowling, however.
“I have shit to do today, Ei,” he said, ripping his hand from Kirishima’s grip. Kirishima stopped and turned to look at him. Bakugou searched his face. He averted his eyes, finding what he was looking for. He couldn’t look at Kirishima for too long anyway. It made his chest cave in a little, making his breathing become shallow and his stomach a bit nauseous. Looking at Kirishima’s light, sometimes, was painful.
“Oh,” Kirishima’s smile dropped.
“Yeah.”
“Can’t it wait?”
“Why?” Kirishima looked away at that. Eyes flickering at passing people. They stood in the courtyard of their school as students maneuvered around them.
“I just, uh, want you to be there,” he said, stepping towards Bakugou, voice lowering as he got closer as if he was sharing a secret that no one could know. The world around them wasn’t trusted to hear such words said to Bakugou Katsuki.
Bakugou sighed, shuffling his feet. He scanned Kirishima’s face again. Kirishima adjusted his backpack, looking around once more before fixating his gaze on him.
When their eyes met, there was a beat. A pause. A moment in time where a few seconds felt like a few more. Bakugou’s breath caught at the sincere expression he found within those red eyes. Like they were searching his soul for the same.
“Okay,” was all Bakugou could muster up. It came out more as a whisper than anything else.
“Yeah?” Kirishima whispered back.
“Yeah,” and then his chest caved in again, because Kirishima’s smile returned to his face. Shining brightly like that fraction of a response from Bakugou was the most endearing thing he’d ever heard.
He grabbed hold of Bakugou’s hand again and Bakugou swallowed. He let himself be dragged across the courtyard and down the street, towards their destination. And only then did Kirishima drop Bakugou’s hand. It was as if he thought if he had dropped it any sooner, Bakugou would leave him without a second thought. Without Kirishima ever knowing.
Kirishima held Bakugou’s hand with the intention of making him stay. And it hurt.
When they arrived at the beach not too far from the school, Kaminari and Sero were already there laid out on a blanket snacking on chips. It was their secret spot tucked away by surrounding woods. Honestly, calling it a beach would be glorified, but no one bothered them here.
When the two caught sight of Kirishima walking up, they waved, then exchanged glances when they looked in Bakugou’s direction. Not enough to be obvious. But Bakugou always noticed whether they knew he did or not. He could always tell when they were gaging what mood he would be in. Sometimes it pissed him off, other times he couldn’t care less. Today was the latter. He didn’t have the energy to tell them to fuck off. Didn’t have the energy to do much of anything these days.
People could say he’s grown. That he’s becoming more tolerable. It’s almost funny really.
“Where’s Mina?” Kirishima asked when they reached the blanket. Bakugou almost immediately took a seat in the farthest corner, pulling out a notebook from his bag.
“She’s on her way. Went to pick up a pizza and bring a volleyball,” Sero said and passed the chips back to Kaminari who offered them to Bakugou. He took the bag without a word. Kaminari smiled.
“Sweet!” Kirishima plopped down in the middle of the blanket so he’d be facing Sero and Kaminari but still be near Bakugou. He stole a chip from the bag and stuck his tongue out when Bakugou tried to pull it away in time.
“Do you think Jirou will come?” Kaminari half sighed.
“Probably. She likes Mina,” Sero said bluntly, earning him a wack from Kaminari.
“Mean,” he pouted.
Bakugou half listened as they fucked around. Barely noticing when the chip bag was ripped from his side to be used as weaponry in their food fight. He did, however, notice when Kirishima started to laugh. It’s gravitating. He lifted his head towards the sound like an instinct. Too many years of hearing the sound to know it was a sight he didn’t want to miss, one that required his full attention, no matter the amount he’d already witnessed.
Kirishima laughed like he didn’t have a care in the world, regardless of the circumstance. It came as natural to him as breathing. He rediated sunlight, and he was at his brightest when he was laughing. Bakugou was infatuated with it. He soaked each and every laugh up like an addiction. Kirishima had a way of affecting Bakugou. And sometimes, even he would crack a small smile at the sight of it.
When they eventually died down, Bakugou shifted his gaze at the ocean. Watching as the waves crashed in and out. The breeze was nice. Cooling him off from the heat. He felt strange, as though he’d been the one laughing until his stomach hurt. As bittersweet as it was, he couldn’t find it in himself to mind. He closed his eyes and breathed in deep. Focusing on the sound of the waves.
When he opened his eyes again, he looked over in Kirishima’s direction, only to find that he was already staring at him. They looked at each other for a moment, words unsaid. Kirishima opened his mouth to speak, only to close it again. Bakugou’s brows drew together, frustration and confusion flooding his expression. Kirishima only continued to stare blankly at Bakugou, eyes a little widened. Then, he snapped his head away at the sound of Ashido’s voice.
“Hey guys!” Ashido skipped up to them, volleyball in hand. She smiled brightly like nothing made her happier than being here. Jirou trailing behind her holding two pizzas, smiled small.
“Hey!” Kirishima stood, running up to Jirou to help her carry the pizza over. Bakugou looked back down at his notes. Everyone exchanged their hellos as Sero and Kaminari almost immediately started eating.
“Awe Bakugou don’t tell me you’re doing homework!” Ahido whined and playfully shoved his shoulder. Bakugou swatted her away, telling her to fuck off for punctuation. She huffed and sat next to him.
He could feel her looking at his profile and after a few moments passed she said, “I’m glad you came.” Bakugou paused his writing to look her in the eyes. Her smile was small, but sincere. “Yeah,” he grunted looking down at his paper again, picking up where he left off. The others were chatting away, something about a concert Jirou wants to go to over the summer.
“How are you?” she asked in a low voice. Either so the others wouldn’t hear or because she was trying to ask it in a way that wouldn’t sound offensive. Bakugou didn’t know. He didn’t know how he was. He didn’t know much of anything the moment she asked him that, except for the contents on the paper his eyes were currently glued to.
“Fine,” He shrugged and if he was harsh she didn’t seem to care. She hummed in response, looking towards the waves. “Fine,” she repeated. He sniffed loudly and scribbled down the words like it would will her to let it go. Ashido could see through Bakugou. He didn’t get it. But she cared enough to in a way that was unique to her. He had to stop her line of thought before she pushed this any further. He looked up at her, now staring at her profile instead.
“Really, Mina, I’m good,” he said as quietly as possible, but firmly to assure her that he didn’t need her to do this right now. He felt too exposed. She looked over at him, searching his eyes for the truth his tongue refused to tell. She sighed, eventually, one that made her shoulders drop in defeat, then nodded. She leaned across the blanket to reach into the pizza box and grabbed two slices that had every topping on them. She handed one over to him, then shifted closer to everyone else, joining in on their growing conversation instantly.
He stared a little. Watching how simply she did that. This is usually how it is. He’s fine with it, really. He closed his notebook and shoved a bite of pizza in his mouth. Glancing over again he caught Kirishima’s eyes once more, he smiled small at Bakugou and in turn Bakugou flipped him off. Kirishima laughed at that, cackled really, like it snuck up on him and he wasn’t expecting it. Like that wasn’t something Bakugou has done a million times before.
Bakugou’s heart couldn’t take it, honestly. So he picked up the volleyball Ashido had left beside him and threw it at Kirishima’s face. He caught it instantly, eyes glinting with a newfound energy. And Bakugou couldn’t help the feral grin that grew on his own face.
In a matter of seconds they were on their feet, running down the beach as the others shouted after them. Soon the makeshift game of dodgeball between the two of them turned into volleyball with everyone. They played until the sun started to set and the wind picked up. Settling back onto their oversized blanket, they started a small fire.
The space was small, the beach was small, the town was small. But their group felt big. And nobody cared. Eventually someone was rolling a blunt while others were pouring alcohol. This is how it always was. It was chill enough for Bakugou to be okay with it.
“So what did you have to do today?” Kirishima asked next to him. Sero nudged Kirishima’s shouldered and he turned to take the blunt from his hand. He inhaled slowly. Bakugou stared as it reached his lips then tore his eyes away.
“Huh?” He said like Kirishima was stupid because he was a little buzzed and had no idea what he was trying to ask. Kirishima exhaled, blowing away from Bakugou’s face.
“You said, and I quote ‘I have shit to do today, Ei,’ so? What was it?”
“Oh,” Bakugou huffed.
He sometimes forgot how forward Kirishima could be when he was even just a tad intoxicated. It was as if the anxiety of pleasing everyone all of the time slipped away the second he took a hit or a sip of something he legally shouldn’t. It’s not like he’s a lightweight or anything, but sometimes Bakugou could see it taking the edge off by the way Kirishima’s face relaxed and his eyelids hung looser. Smile not completely reaching his ears.
“Kat?” Kirishima said, waving the blunt in his face, interrupting his thoughts. Bakugou took it and passed it back to Sero. Kirishima eyed him, but said nothing of it. Sometimes Bakugou would smoke. Most times it gave him anxiety. He didn’t ever voice it to anyone but they didn’t ask either. Plus he’d already drank too much and he didn’t want to get too fucked up.
“Uh, homework. Should try it sometime,” Bakugou cleared his throat, then sniffed. He heard Kaminari coughing up a lung and Sero laughing while handing him water.
“Ouch,” Kirishima hissed, feigning hurt but chuckled nonetheless.
“Yeah,” Bakugou stared at him for a minute before turning towards his bag, grabbing a lighter and cigarette. Lighting it, he took a long drag before blowing it out directly in front of him.
“I wish you’d stop smoking,” Kirishima said and when Bakugou looked over he noticed he was staring at him. “You smoke,” Bakugou offered the cigarette to Kirishima and he took it. “Yeah but only on nights like this. You chainsmoke, you’re a feign,” He teased, half serious. Bakugou shrugged as he watched him inhale, exhale. “Worried for your health, man,” Kirishima handed the cigarette back to him and Bakugou took it saying nothing in response except for another hit and a shrug. Kirishima shook his head, laughing to himself, a little bitter.
“You don’t care,” Kirishima said. It wasn’t a question.
“Nope.”
“Why?”
“Why should I?”
Kirishima just stared at him now. Bakugou stared back. How many times are their eyes going to try to communicate for them tonight? Bakugou was sick of it. Kirishima's face softened and as soon as he started, Bakugou stopped him.
“Katsu–“
“Drop it, Eijirou.”
And Kirishima knew he was serious because it was rare he used his full name. Shaking his head again, he stood and walked over to Jirou and took the blunt from her and sat down. Bakugou was closer to the whole circle now, so it wasn't a lot of distance between them but enough.
He looked away towards the waves for what felt like the hundredth time tonight. It was dark now so it was harder to see but he could still hear them. It’s fine. He likes it anyway. Especially when his mind is foggy like this. He took a slow drag of his cigarette and he knew Kirishima was watching him. He didn’t care.
He was about to get up when Ashido sat down next to him, handing him a drink. Some seltzer with a high percentage of alcohol that tasted like shit but hey, it did the trick.
“Ah, thanks,” Bakugou said and surprised himself with his sincerity but he was just about to get one himself.
“You’re welcome, love!” Ashido gushed, cheeks pink. She didn’t sit next to him with the intention of talking, just to switch the vibe for him. He appreciated how she did that. Envied it more than anything.
“I’m just saying!” Kaminari defending with hands raised.
“I don’t think you’re saying anything, actually,” Sero laughed, words a little drawn and eyes a bit puffy.
“No, no. I am. Like, you know how you go to a movie and afterwards you walk out feeling like your whole life has changed?”
“Sure, yeah.”
“Well… Uh wait. What was I saying before?”
“That sometimes you feel like that daily,” Kirishima offered. Bakugou’s eyes flickered to his and Kirishima locked them. He flipped him off then Kirishima rolled his eyes.
“Right! Right?” Kaminari exclaimed, then kind of deflated realizing he lost his train of thought.
“I kind of get it. Like one thing happens and you're like, wow that’s gonna affect the rest of my life. Or a moment happens and you feel like the main character,” Jirou offered nonchalantly, like she didn’t just defend Kaminari’s insane ramblings.
“Exactly!” he cheered.
“I always feel like the main character,” Ashido said.
“That’s ‘cause you have a complex,” Bakugou replied almost instantly, like he was expecting her to say something like that. She shoved him and laughed.
“One time, I saw two turtles doing it. I feel like that really shifted everything in my life,” Sero said and then everyone lost it.
“Dude what the fuck,” Kaminari wheezed out. He was holding his stomach with one hand and shoving Kirishima with the other. The two of them were laughing uncontrollably like their bodies couldn’t contain it.
“What! It really scarred me. I was like eight!”
And that really didn’t help. They laughed harder. Bakugou was chuckling too, along with Ashido and Jirou. But he didn’t find it too funny, and was a little preoccupied watching Kirishima. He decided to down his drink then and there, though he’d just opened it and it was one of the taller ones
So when the others caught sight and they started to cheer him on. When he finished he crushed the can with a wicked grin and threw it in their trash pile that they’d clean up later. Everyone yelled and took drinks of their own as Bakugou’s stomach warmed. He felt numb and content. His constant fire now a mere spark.
This is how it always was. It was fine.