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After Sai has come back in corporeal form, Hikaru often finds himself making spontaneous purchases.
Today is no exception. On his way home, he excitedly picks fragrant shampoos and conditioners for Sai to try on. Sai sniffs them one by one, and then uses the hair care set that smells the best during shower.
Clad in white bathrobe, Sai exits the bathroom. His wet dark hair cascades down around his back. "Hikaru~" Sai croons, twirling locks of hair around his fingers, "it feels amazing."
Hikaru grins. He takes Sai's hand and leads him to sit on the bed. "Glad that you like it. The shopkeeper recommended so many brands. I was so confused since they all smelled good to me. But what matters is that you find something that suits you, Sai."
Sai smiles indulgently at his companion. Having reached 25 years of age this autumn, Hikaru has grown considerably taller than the last time Sai saw him. His shoulders are broader, his eyes bear both strength and wisdom beyond his years.
One thing remains unchanged, though. Even after 13 years since they first met, Hikaru still stubbornly maintains his blond bangs; making him an anomaly among most Go players who usually choose to look formal and proper.
With ease, Sai's slim fingers brush Hikaru's vibrant strands. "And what do you use for this?"
Hikaru's breath hitches. He's keenly aware of the coolness of Sai's fingertips on his forehead. It feels as if he has lost his footing. All self-confidence that he showed moments ago turns into a tumbled string of words. "Some—something... something to make the color stay."
Sai eyes him, and for a split second Hikaru remembers the way Sai used to cut his Go formation mid-game. Ruthless and decisive; boldness and beauty blended in one perfect counterattack. Strangely, Hikaru's heart beats even faster before fear can catch up to him. It's been years, he has been absorbing Sai's moves while implementing his own technique, surely he can handle this.
Hikaru watches as Sai stands up, gathers the entirety of his long hair to fall on his back in one fine sweep. With his back to Hikaru, Sai says, "Hikaru, onegaishimasu."
He can feel the mattress dips as Hikaru moves closer.
The professional Go player gently dries Sai's hair with a towel before putting on heat protectant serum. At the sound of the hair dryer being turned on, Hikaru's deft fingers comb through his hair in a relaxed but precise motion.
Sai closes his eyes. Despite the heat, the caress of Hikaru's fingertips on his scalp is impossible to miss. He bites his lower lip and remembers. In olden times, he could wait all day long for his hair to dry, taking in the slow passage of time. Go alone could entertain him from dawn until dusk.
Yet now, living with Hikaru—living as mortals with limited time—has instilled a sense of impatience in his heart. Such impatience is different from the obsession he had with the Hand of God. Each day, Sai must relearn to navigate the idea of being a human once more.
Hikaru, how do I use this phone to take pictures of us? Hikaru, eating ramen all the time isn't good for you. Hikaru, I can stand just fine, let that person take my seat.
Hikaru, it's raining, we haven't taken our laundry inside! Hikaru, I feel tired, let's sleep early tonight.
Hikaru, why is there a Kaya board delivery in my name?
Hikaru, I don't even remember my own birthday, and now you're buying me a cake? Hikaru, let's blow the candles together!
Hikaru, Tokyo has changed a lot these years, I'd be lost without you.
Hikaru, congratulations on being promoted to the 7th dan. I'm proud of you.
Hikaru... to me, you are enough.
To him, Hikaru is enough.
However, much to Sai's distress, being human also involves sensations akin to thirst and hunger; a surge of feelings so contradictory that Hikaru's presence can either empower or disarm him.
As if sensing his thoughts, Hikaru turns off the hair dryer. "Sai, what's wrong?"
Silence hangs in the air. Although they no longer share consciousness, Sai marvels at the way Hikaru can still read his mind. Most of the time, this quirk eases his worries, but now Sai feels nothing but exposed and vulnerable.
"Is it too hot?" Hikaru questions. "Too much?"
Before Sai can answer, Hikaru drops the hair dryer on the bed they share.
There's a faint touch on his shoulder. Sai opens his eyes. Hikaru now sits facing him. Shining in close proximity, his green eyes are gazing into Sai's amethyst ones.
"I'm fine, Hikaru, it's just—"
Whatever word Sai wants to utter die on his lips as Hikaru cups his face in both hands without much ado.
Sai drinks in the sight before his eyes. Somehow, Hikaru's blond bangs frame his chiseled face in a more charming way. His vibrant locks land on the junction between the ears and cheekbones, while the black part of his hair settles at the nape of his neck. As Hikaru chuckles helplessly, the corners of his mouth are adorned by subtle smile lines.
"Oh, you're getting a little bit sweaty. You should've told me to lower the heat, Sai."
Hikaru's curious eyes turn tender as he starts raking his fingers through Sai's smooth tresses; wiping the sweat off Sai's forehead in the process.
Sai exhales wordlessly. A part of him wants to chide Hikaru for teasing him, while another part wants to surrender to this hunger for more touch.
In the months since their reunion, Hikaru mostly keeps their physical contact casual, although there have been moments where Sai wonders if Hikaru is holding back; either out of doubt or fear.
A playful poke on the nose every morning. Gentle pats on the back when Sai does his share of weekly house cleaning.
Hearty shoulder squeezes whenever Hikaru advances one more round in title matches. A brief hug every time Hikaru must leave the town to attend Go seminars or conferences.
Loose hand-holding as Hikaru leads their way during grocery shopping in the nearest supermarket.
Tucking Sai's hair behind his ears each time Hikaru arrives at the genkan and says, "I'm home."
Stroking his cheek the moment Sai replies, "Welcome home, Hikaru."
Those used to be enough. Those should be enough, but lately they haven't been enough.
Feeling inexplicable warmth seeping in his skin, Sai almost voices his disapproval when Hikaru stops his ministration. However, Hikaru's following action takes Sai by surprise.
In one abrupt move, Sai finds himself fully pressed against the weight of Hikaru's physique. Strong fingers are gripping the fabric of his white bathrobe. Sai has been trying to keep his impatience at bay, but the way Hikaru's eyelashes tickle his left shoulder seems to undo such effort.
Hikaru's lips feel feverish on his collarbone. Barely above whisper, words permeate Sai's touch-starved skin, however it's a plea that he hears in perfect clarity.
"Sai... if one of these days I'm coming at you blindly, will you allow me?"
Yearning floods Sai's entire being. He wants to whisper a thousand "yes" until his voice finds an echo in Hikaru's own. He wants Hikaru to taste his compliance and melt his defenses away. He wants to drown in Hikaru's arms until there's nothing else he can cling to.
So he mirrors the ardor of Hikaru's embrace. Sai lets his fingers run free in Hikaru's hair, reveling in the way Hikaru sighs deeply. He nuzzles the expanse of Hikaru's clavicle, up to the curve of his neck, letting the scent of Hikaru's skin fill his nostrils.
Hikaru shivers, and Sai drinks in all the trembles in his voice. "Sai—answer me..." Hikaru trails off, fingers grasping a handful of Sai's hair to steady himself. "Sai?"
Being human—Sai realizes—does involve a desire akin to thirst and hunger. However, it is no longer a torture he must endure.
"I'd love that, Hikaru," he whispers in Hikaru's ear.
A thousand affirmations. An undivided lifetime.
A million more moments to savor, inseparably.