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"You've got to be an idiot to accept the Emperor's wishes to go to Arrakis," Logan said from the door, Charles' eyes rising from the papers he was reading to look at his master of weapons — at his friend.
"And what would you suggest, Logan?" Charles asked with a tired voice, sighing as his eyes went down to the papers, continuing with, "That I refused a direct offer from the Emperor and lost my power either way when the other Houses got word of my insolence?"
"There must've been another way."
"There wasn't," Charles shook his head, giving up on his reading for now, eyes going back up to Logan, "and the Emperor surely didn't give me much time to try and find another way."
"And what are we going to do?" Logan crossed his arms, and Charles smiled despite himself. Logan was as gruff as a man could be, and yet the worry shone in his eyes in a way not even he could hide. "You're not stupid enough to just go there to die."
"You flatter me, Logan," Charles joked, seeing the other man roll his eyes. "And yes, I'm not stupid enough for that."
"Already cooked up a plan inside this head of yours?"
"Irene did, I merely helped," Charles said, getting up from his chair and picking up his coat as he went over Irene's plan once again inside his head. "I've never been so thankful to have her as a Mentat than now. Her and Raven are going to Arrakis soon to start the plan."
"And me?"
"You're staying here," Charles smiled, fixing his coat around himself. "I need you to help David with his fighting. He'll need to be able to defend himself there."
"I thought Erik was already doing that with all the witch stuff he has been teaching the kid."
"Erik is training David in the Bene Gesserit way, which is useful, but not enough. David has to learn how to fight, as much as I hate to think that."
"So you want me to roughen up the kid a little bit?"
"If you could," Charles chuckled, running a hand through his hair and walking towards the door, patting Logan's shoulder for a moment as he passed the man. "Try not to kill him, that's all I ask. And, please, would you be a dear and tell him to meet me at the cliffs soon?"
"I'm not your messenger, your grace," Logan grumbled out.
"Glad I can count on you, my friend!"
-
"You're getting stronger," Charles said with a smile, looking up at David from where he sat as the boy threw another rock at the horizon, watching it fall to the sea underneath the cliff. "Your throwing is getting better."
"I almost won over Logan earlier," David mumbled out, looking around himself for more rocks, blue eyes like Charles' away from him, the wind making his dark hair go to all sides. "And I was almost able to use the Voice on abba."
"Oh? So the Bene Gesserit training is going well."
David replied with a non-committal "Mhm," throwing another stone at the horizon, both of them watching its distance and its fall. Charles' eyes moved up to stare at his son again then, seeing the way David's face was closed off. David used to be more open back then, and Charles feared he'd close off completely at some point, and not let Charles know what was happening inside his mind; that thought alone terrified him more than anything.
He was losing Caladan to take Arrakis, but he wouldn't accept losing his son as well.
"You and Erik are truly the same," Charles said then, David's eyes going to him with curiosity in his face. "Keeping your thoughts to yourselves and expecting that your training will be enough to not allow me to realize what's going on inside your heads."
"It's funny… Abba tells me how much I remind him of you."
"We'll never agree on that."
"He tells me I'm as stubborn as you."
"Well then," Charles mumbled, trying not to smile while imagining Erik telling David that. "Your abba was never fond of how stubborn I am, so I can see why he'd complain."
"You're a stickler to the rules," David shrugged, a frown on his face. "I don't understand abba's words when he talks about your stubbornness."
"I wasn't like this when he first arrived on Caladan," Charles said with a smile, seeing David's eyebrows raising. His skin was a lighter brown than Erik's, but it shone under the setting sun's light all the same. "He had the wrong idea about me- thought I was going to be a boring and pervert duklet. I still remember the look on his face the first time I properly courted him as I'd do with anyone else I was interested in."
"How reckless," David said, full of sarcasm, and Charles smiled.
There was silence again, and Charles thought David wouldn't speak his mind, but he just watched as his son took a seat by his side on the rocks, eyes distant as he played with his gloves for a second.
"Will Arrakis be as dangerous as everyone's saying?"
Charles sighed, wishing for a moment he could say "No, it won't. No harm will come to us,"; he couldn't say it and lie to David like that, not when he knew full well there was danger in their future. He just hoped he could make it as safe as possible for David there.
"It'll be dangerous," Charles nodded, seeing David's lips pursing. He wanted to promise that David would be safe, but it felt like lying as well, so he just said, "But we won't stay still and let it happen. We're House Xavier- and, like your abba says, we're stubborn."
That got a smile from David, and Charles smiled with him.
"I'll need you there by my side, David," Charles said with a sigh, seeing for a moment how the boy's eyes shone with quiet fear before he schooled himself. Erik had taught him well. "You'll take my position as Duke when I'm gone, and I need to be sure you are ready."
"What if I'm not?" David asked, and he sounded vulnerable; he sounded like the fifteen year old boy he was supposed to be. "What if I'm not the future of House Xavier?"
Charles looked at his son for a moment more, seeing the fear of Charles' response in the boy's blue eyes. Everyone who looked at David saw Lord David Xavier, heir of House Xavier — Charles had a suspicion that even Erik saw the boy this way sometimes, being his son or not — but Charles only saw the little boy who once scared him and Erik to death when he ran away to chase a cloud on a sunny day without them seeing, the same boy who would stand by Charles' side of the bed on late nights until Charles woke up to the feeling of being observed and allowed him to lay down with Charles and Erik because he had had a nightmare; the same boy Charles dreamed with ever since he started thinking about making a family for himself.
He still remembered an old talk with Erik, a late night laying by the other man's side in bed, seeking the warmth of each other's bodies as winter fell over Caladan Castle.
"They want you to have a daughter," Erik had said quietly, fingers brushing against Charles' cheek gently, tracing invisible lines there. "It was the Bene Gesserit plan for House Xavier."
"I'll love her all the same," Charles had whispered back, eyes looking at the other man's face, memorizing each line like he hadn't done that before many times.
"But you want an heir," Erik accused, although with no judgement. Charles' lips pressed together into a tight line. "You want a son."
"I do," he had confessed. "I'd like that more than anything."
When the news of Erik's pregnancy arrived, Charles had asked what Erik thought their daughter should be named once they met again, Charles holding Erik close as Erik looked back at him, glowing.
"I like Lorna," Charles had hummed out, smiling a little and brushing his fingers against Erik's clothed stomach for a moment. "I think it's a strong name."
"I was thinking about David instead," Erik had said, Charles' brow furrowing immediately in confusion. The glint in Erik's eyes was what gave it away, and Charles had felt like he was out of breath.
"But the Bene Gesserit-"
"I will talk to them," Erik had sighed, smile not leaving his lips. "But there's nothing they can do now."
The day Charles held David in his arms, he felt out of breath as well, watching that tiny baby crying his lungs out and probably trying to figure out what all those sensations were, brought into the cold world as Charles tried to warm him as much as he could.
The boy sitting by his side was that same baby, scared of the world, looking for comfort and warmth, and Charles would be damned if he didn't try to give it to him.
"If you're not," Charles started, hand cupping his son's face as he allowed a gentle smile to appear on his lips, "you'll still be the only thing I needed you to be. My son."
David seemed to breathe out like he was relieved by the words, leaning against Charles' touch and smiling back after a moment. Charles retreated his hand then, patting David on the shoulder and looking at the horizon again. The skies were grey, rain getting ready to fall over Caladan. It was almost sad to think he wouldn't see rain again once they got to Arrakis.
-
Erik was already in their room when Charles arrived there, starting to undress but frowning when he noticed Erik had more formal clothes on instead of the robe he usually wore to bed.
"Is everything alright?" He asked, walking towards Erik and seeing Erik turn to face him. For a moment, his eyes were wide and afraid, and Charles got ready for bad news.
Erik didn't say anything for a second, and then, "The Truthsayer is almost here. She's coming to see David."
Charles felt his body go cold for a moment.
"Why? What are her intentions with him?"
"The test," Erik said with a strained voice, eyes falling to his hand for a moment as he flexed it, as if there was something wrong with it. It looked like Erik was seeing a ghost as he stared at his own fingers. "They know I've been training David in the Bene Gesserit ways. They know I think David might be the Kwisatz Haderach, even if he was born a generation too early… They want to test him."
"Tell me he'll be safe," Charles begged, taking a step closer. The way Erik's eyes avoided Charles' made Charles shiver. "Erik-"
"He's strong, and he'll know what to do," Erik muttered, but his eyes still didn't meet Charles'. For a moment, Erik looked terrified. "I'll ask Doctor Salvatore to check on him first, see if he's truly strong enough for the test. It'll be alright. He'll be alright."
"I suppose telling a Truthsayer to fuck off is not a good idea," Charles grumbled, pressing his fingers against his closed eyelids for a moment, trying not to worry — Erik was right, David was strong enough to bear whatever test was thrown at him.
"She's a Reverend Mother," Erik said, and when Charles opened his eyes again, there was a small smile on his lips, almost amused. "I don't think it is a good idea, no."
"You'll be with him?"
Erik sighed, blinking a few times, before muttering, "I don't know if she'll allow it. Reverend Mother Emma Frost is… a complicated woman."
"Just… Just keep him safe, alright?" Charles asked, tired all of the sudden, wishing he could be with David through that test. He wasn't dumb enough to think a Bene Gesserit Truthsayer would appreciate his presence there. "Keep our boy safe…"
Erik nodded, a sigh leaving Charles' lips as he took one of Erik's hands with his own, placing a kiss to his knuckles. Erik seemed to relax, even if for a small moment.
"What's that you kept saying to David when he was a small boy?" Charles asked, seeing Erik's brow furrowing for a moment. "About fear?"
A pause, and then, "Fear is the mind-killer."
-
Fear is the mind-killer, Charles repeated to himself inside his head as he looked up at the high ceiling of the castle of Arrakeen, unmovable thanks to the drug in his system, naked and shamed in his own house as Nathaniel Essex ate at the other end of the table.
Angel Salvatore had betrayed them, but had told Charles she'd do all she could to save David's life, and Charles' body burned with anger and fear. Angel Salvatore had betrayed them with the House Essex, and soon Angel Salvatore was dead, her efforts leading to her demise the same way it would lead to Charles'.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the mind-killer.
"Fear is the mind-killer," Erik's voice said in his head, and Charles felt a tear fall from his eyes, Erik's face in his mind as he felt the small capsule of poison inside his mouth where Doctor Salvatore had put it.
He wished he could see Erik again, could watch the way his brown skin and white hair shone under the sun of Arrakis one last time — the cursed planet had given Charles that view, and it was almost worth the pain he felt. He wished he could hold him again, and marry the man he loved. What a stupid decision, Charles thought to himself, to have never married Erik.
"Your son is dead. Your concubine is dead," Essex said, getting closer to Charles now, although he could barely see it from the position he was on the damned chair. "Tonight the House Xavier falls, and your bloodline ends forever."
They weren't dead, they couldn't be. If Charles had been caught, if Charles had been weak, they wouldn't be. Erik was strong and powerful, and David was his father's son — he'd be what Charles wasn't, but the thought pained him; he'd take Charles' place after all, forced to do it, before Charles could ever give him the choice. But David was alive, his son was alive, and so was Erik. Raven would find them, and they'd be safe.
If they weren't, if death had met them, Charles would be glad to meet them again once it was all over, but he hoped he wouldn't.
He felt the poison capsule again with his tongue, mumbling words in a way that would force Essex to come closer.
Fear is the mind-killer.
"What did you say?" Baron Essex asked, leaning closer to Charles as more tears fell from Charles' eyes.
"Here I am," Charles said through a strained voice, each word hard to say thanks to the state his body was in. "Here I remain."
He bit the capsule, exhaling towards the Baron's face, feeling the poison spread through the room and the hysteria to begin.
As life left his body, he kept his family's face in his mind, wishing he just had a little more time.