Chapter Text
Back story
Deku usually sits in his room at nights after school thinking of all the things he enjoyed that day. Specifically about Katsuki Bakugou. Even though Katsuki is outspoken and often says harsh things to him he just can't help but be a helpless romantic over his highly praised classmate.
The day Deku realized he was in love with Katsuki was from the very beginning really... Since they were kids. For as long as he knew Katsuki he idolized him. He created this perfect image in his head about how much of an amazing person he thought Katsuki was. He'd always do cool things like save a stranded cat from a tree, show his friends how to fish, bost about his quirk or even tell them awesome hero stories about the Number one hero. Katsuki was a heaven sent being to him.
When they both started at UA high, he was overjoyed that they'd spend more time together, but Katsuki would have stopped treating him the same by then and would make it seem like he dreaded being around him. The time they did spend together Katsuki would be somewhat flustered or deep in thought as if he was constantly hiding something, sometimes even nervous. He'd be mean to Deku too. Nothing made sense anymore. Their relationship seemed like it was fading, thinking it was his fault or something he might have done, Deku was forced to feel like he had to keep his feelings to himself as to not risk ruining their friendship anymore... So he wrote letters to Katsuki in secret. Never to let them reach him. He'd write these letters as a means to sooth his heart and what he thought was unrequited love since there was no way to be sure about Katsuki's true feelings without having to ask him directly. which was not an option.
The day Deku decided to write his first letter was a day he'd remember clearly forever. He realized the pain of holding onto such emotions without ever being able to let them out, it made him sad and desperate for the possibility of a safe way he can portray his love without getting backlash. He rushed to his room after getting back to the dorms and locked his door behind him. Making his way to his desk he grabbed hold of a piece of paper and a pen. With tears flowing down his face he decided to write his emotions with ink, bringing life to the first of many letters he'd write to his beloved Kaachan. He promised himself to one day find true happiness as he locked away his letter in a box as if they were a representation of his feelings.
The First Letter
Dear Kaachan
i know i might not have the right to feels ths way but, understanding you, that's always been the one thing I'm best at. Your face is always so honest. I'd like to think you'd be lying if you said you couldn't love me back, you'd say it with those words of yours, that pretty mouth, I know this because you're a horrible liar, but I understand why you could never tell me. i'm delusional to think these things as if they were true. the fact is i could'nt accept it if i knew for sure that you would never return my feelings.
Every time our eyes meet I just know your heart beats faster. The way you smile at me is different from the way you smile at everyone else. Even when you'd get mad. You'd give me this look... It's like you're just begging me to fuck you but you’re trying so desperately to shadow it... and in all honesty, I really want to. I want to do everything with you. Though I'd never be able to tell you that.
Looking back, I never built up enough courage to be able to confess how I feel. I think if i did, things would be so different now. That's why I'm writing these letters. Part of me knows that we may never get the happy ending we deserve, but that's okay. As long as I feel the warmth of these emotions of mine, getting to spend every day working to remain at your side, that's enough for me right now. The fact that you'll never know just how much I love you is bittersweet, but I could never betray our friendship with such selfishness and I know you wouldn't either. So here's to the love letters you'll never get to read.
Your dearest, Deku~