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Dick isn't quite sure he understands Damian's request. "So I'm supposed to pretend I'm your boyfriend?"
Damian shrugs. "Whatever you feel will work best, Grayson," he says. "After all, you have more experience in this particular situation than I."
Dick sort of wants to be suspicious, but it's not like he's never acted before. Besides, this task will be easy--if a bit painful given his personal feelings. Feelings that he needs to get a solid grip on because Damian is practically his baby brother.
Of whom he is now going to be the fake boyfriend.
It'll give him the experience without having to admit his feelings.
"Who are we making jealous?" he asks, forcing a teasing smile onto his face. He hopes Damian thinks nothing of the pause.
"A boy at school," Damian says. He's a senior in high school now, almost eighteen. It took a couple years of socialization before Damian seemed ready for a real school, but he's thriving in it now.
Dick knows unsurprisingly little about Damian's social life, but he shouldn't be surprised that it's a boy. After all, why would Damian ask him to be his pretend boyfriend if it were a girl?
Dick had just sort of hoped it would be a girl. A girl seems much easier to accept than another boy. A girl is normal and Dick can't compete there.
Dick tries not to let the true reason for his unease show. "Are you sure this is a good idea?" he asks, lets his gaze linger on Alfred as the cat stretches in the pool of sunlight the window has filtered in.
"Absolutely," Damian says. More cautiously, he adds, "Why? Do you disagree?"
"Couldn't you just...tell him you like him? I mean, you're Damian Wayne. You're rich, you're gorgeous, you might not be the nicest, but you care. You know. I'm sure that's what he sees," Dick finishes lamely, hoping he hasn't said too much.
Damian's gaze is sharp, but something vulnerable lurks beneath the surface. "I should be direct?" he asks. Dick nods and Damian straightens his posture, positions his whole body towards Dick. "I like you," he says seriously, pink coloring his cheeks. "Would you like to go out with me?"
Standing there dumbstruck a moment, it takes concentrated effort for Dick to break out his usual smile. "See? Just like that. Not so hard, is it?" He feels like he's sweating bullets, but he presses on. "How could someone say no to that?"
Too busy wallowing in his own embarrassment, Dick doesn't see the way Damian crumbles, the disappointment the boy can't hide. "Hm," Damian intones, adjusting his sleeve with an air of pretension. "No, I think my idea is better. Come along, Grayson." He leads Dick to the car and, sighing, Dick follows without argument.
In fact, Dick drives Damian to class as if there isn't some weird plot afoot. After all, it feels...normal. Nice, even. Dick genuinely enjoys Damian's company and he's pretty sure the feeling is mutual.
When he stops the car to let Damian out, Damian watches him expectantly instead.
"What?" Dick asks.
Damian lets out an annoyed huff, keeping his hands from shaking. "Kiss me," he orders.
Dick's eyes go wide. "What? Here? Now?"
"Yes, Grayson." He glances purposefully out the window. "He's over there."
"But. I." Dick gives up. He leans over towards Damian and tries to pretend it isn't awkward, for the sake of Damian's dignity. There's a second's hesitation before he presses their lips together.
It's almost too late by the time Damian kisses him back and Dick thinks for a moment that it's magical before he remembers it's all for some other boy's attention.
"Have a good day," he tells Damian with a smile meant to convey all the things he should be thinking about and not how much he wants to kiss the boy again.
After he takes the car back, Dick works out until he's dripping with sweat and his whole body aches. Still, he thinks about that one stupid kiss in the shower.
He goes home to his apartment and resists texting Damian.
~
Dick ends up driving Damian to school more often than not for the next three weeks.
The kisses stay--almost regretfully--chaste and Dick figures that's probably good enough for this whole jealousy angle that Damian is playing. Sometimes though... Sometimes he takes Damian's face between his hands and savors that one kiss he's allowed each time.
It's enough to forget that this is for someone else's benefit until reality crashes back down.
Damian isn't his. Damian will never be his. Hell, he isn't sure Damian could be anyone's. He would be alright with being Damian's, but it's not like that's going to happen either.
And yet... He can't stop this thing. He doesn't want to stop it. When there's no one to see the kiss, he does it anyway. Damian lets him.
Is he taking advantage?
Dick Grayson should be feeling the weight of this moral dilemma, but instead he feels rather excited when he sees Damian, too happy to know that he can hold Damian's hand and kiss Damian's lips.
He's too far gone.
The realization hits him when he's driving to Damian's school just to bring him lunch. He has somehow convinced himself that this is a real relationship. Fuck. He might be in love with his baby brother.
Glancing at the Ethiopian veggie combo in the passenger's seat, he decides that he should drop it off anyway. Maybe he'll tell Damian that this fake boyfriend thing has to stop. It's been weeks.
In fact, he could "break up" with Damian today and earn the boy some sympathy points.
Yes, that sounds like a plan that will completely break his own heart, but it'll be good for Damian...right?
Once he's sitting with Damian just outside the school he attended years ago--over a decade if he's feeling particularly honest with himself--he decides he needs to stop grinning stupidly at the way Damian is eating the food he brought.
"Look, Dami," he starts, and his voice has that we need to talk tone to it.
Damian interrupts before he gets the words out. "He's right over there," he says, glancing a ways behind Dick. "Sit closer."
Without thinking, Dick does as he's told, then shakes his head. "Perfect," he tells Damian, forcing himself to continue. "Then he can see us break up. It'll earn you so many sympathy points," he adds with small, pained smile.
"-tt-" Damian is not looking at Dick, but rather the food. "You want him to feel bad for me? I'm better that that, Grayson."
I can't do this anymore, Dick so badly needs to say. It's too much for me to be with you and not be with you. For some reason, he doesn't say any of that. "How's the yemisser wot?"
"Excellent," Damian says, and favors him with a smile. "Thank you, Richard."
Damian licks his lips and leans in to kiss him. Dick enjoys it even though a voice in his head won't stop screaming that this isn't real. Damian had called him Richard.
~
"Alfred... Do you think I should stop this? I just--" He lets out a sigh. "I really don't want to."
Alfred tilts his head appraisingly.
"I think I'm in love with him."
Again, Alfred says nothing, but Dick just smiles and scratches the cat under his chin.
Dick is startled when he hears someone clear their throat behind him. He turns.
"If I may, Master Richard," Alfred begins, "I can perhaps provide you with advice that my counterpart cannot." He arches an elegant eyebrow at Dick and the cat.
Nervous, Dick scoops the cat up and places him on his lap. Fortunately, Alfred starts purring and it's very soothing, even though Dick knows he's about to admit something he shouldn't. Even trying to find the words now, the whole thing suddenly seems so silly.
"I'm very patient," human Alfred tells Dick.
Dick huffs a laugh and strokes the cat to keep his hands busy. "I know. You're the best, Alfred," he adds earnestly. "But... Just. How am I supposed to say no to Damian?"
"Is Master Damian pressuring you?" Alfred asks, and it sounds so aristocratic, but the implications that spring to Dick's mind have him blushing.
"No, no," Dick says quickly, then, "Well, I don't know." He concentrates on petting Alfred. "I like him, Alfred. I like like him." Dick thinks for a second that he sounds more like a teenager than Damian ever has.
Alfred--the man--stands there a moment, face blank. He waits.
"I can't be his pretend boyfriend. I can't just be there to make some other boy jealous. How do I tell him that without telling him the other thing?"
Alfred smoothes away his smirk before Dick catches on. "What is it that you fear? Your feelings or Master Damian's?"
Cat Alfred hops down from Dick's lap and Dick is suddenly at a loss for what to do with his hands. "I don't know. Both?"
"Perhaps this is a discussion you should be having with someone else," Alfred says.
"Who?" Dick asks. "Bruce? Because of what happened with Jason? I couldn't. Damian is his son. His actual son." The fact that Bruce hasn't popped out from the shadows already is almost disconcerting.
"Or you could go straight to the source, as they say. I'm certain Master Damian doesn't wish to hurt your feelings." There is almost emphasis on the word your, as if Alfred would like to imply that it would be different with anyone else. Damian has rather a history and they both know it.
"Could he ever trust me again? I feel like I'm taking advantage."
"Whose idea was this scheme to begin with?"
"Damian's." Alfred hmphs and Dick can't help adding, "But if I tell him, it'll stop."
"Much as I love you, Master Richard, I would prefer not to hear the details."
Dick laughs. "Understood."
Alfred turns to leave.
"Hey, Alfred?"
"Yes, Master Richard?"
Dick smiles and it's the same smile he had as a kid, when Alfred would sneak cookies to him while Bruce was away. "Thanks."
Alfred's returning smile emanates from his eyes to a wrinkle in his cheeks. "Of course." He gives a curt nod and walks off.
Weirdly, Dick feels better. He should be honest with Damian. They were partners. They can get past this.
...Can't they?
~
Dick waits for Damian at Wayne Manor, works out to burn off his nervous energy. He thinks back on Jason standing in the doorway, smoking a cigarette, and feels almost sad that he doesn't smoke.
He knows it's better that this whole situation has only gotten him into even better shape. Smoking just sounds so much easier.
"Damian, hey," he says, when the boy comes in, although Damian is immediately besieged by Titus, whom he greets happily--the dog's whole body waggling excitedly at the return of his human.
"Grayson," Damian says after giving the dog a good scratch. "I didn't expect you here today."
"We, um." Dick hates break-ups, even fake break-ups from fake relationships. If it wasn't fake, he wouldn't need to break them up though. "We need to talk."
Damian has seen enough television now to understand Dick's meaning. "I know," he says, and he looks utterly defeated.
"You do?" Dick replies, before, "Oh." The last sound comes out softer. Damian looks so sad and all Dick wants to do is wrap his arms around him and tell him it's okay, but they really do need to talk. "You know I can't be your fake boyfriend anymore, right? I mean, I shouldn't have agreed to it in the first place."
Damian nods, Alfred coming to rub against his legs, and Dick could get away with this. He could leave things like they are now and let Damian make his own assumptions about why this was a bad idea, but he's not that terrible.
"It was selfish," Dick says. "On my part."
Damian looks at him then, confused. "What do you mean?"
Dick is glad that Damian is pushing because he's having a hard time not making a joke and brushing it off. "I wanted to be...closer to you. And I knew it was a bad idea when you asked and I know it might take you a while to trust me again, but." Dick gives himself a few seconds to just breathe.
"But what?" Damian asks, and there is an edge to his voice that sounds almost dangerous.
"I like you, and not just as a partner. I'm sorry," he adds quickly. "It's stupid. And I am way too old for you." He laughs because it's the only thing he can do.
Damian blinks, slowly, as if processing what Dick has said, and Dick is about to apologize again, to leave, but then Damian takes a seat beside him on the sofa.
Dick doesn't know why he's holding his breath.
When Damian moves, it is with the striking kind of precision meant for a fight. It's times like this that Dick has to wonder about how much taller Damian is, and yet he seems to have lost none of his speed.
Damian pins Dick to the sofa and kisses him. It starts out that chaste thing that has become their custom, he pulls away only to murmur, "Good," and dives back in, skims his tongue along Dick's bottom lip and lets himself sink deeper.
Dick kisses him back with perhaps more fervor. He's pretty sure they have things to discuss, but those things are seeming less and less important.
~
Dick wanders into the kitchen in the hopes of scrounging together a sandwich, but finds that he is not alone.
"I see that you've spoken with Master Damian," Alfred says, and he's actually sitting, sipping tea. His eyes are on Dick's neck rather than his face, however.
Immediately, Dick's hand moves to cover what he's sure looks to be a rather aggressive hickey. "Yeah," he agrees with a chuckle. He's certain he's red with embarrassment, but Alfred has surely seen and heard worse.
"And it seems Master Damian's plan was quite successful."
Dick's head is already in the fridge searching, but his response is not as absent-minded as it seems. "Huh?"
Alfred hums, stirring his tea. "Did you ever find out the name of that other boy?" he asks, far too innocently.
It seems so obvious now that Dick wants to hit himself.
But he wants to kiss Damian more.