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“We’re not going over there.”
“But-”
“No. We’re here for owl treats and a new warming rock. There is no reason for us to walk into that part of the shop. None.”
Tom narrowed his eyes as he examined the three variations of heat regulations the shop carried. He scrutinized each intently, picking them up and weighing them in his hand as he ignored the silently pouting man standing by his side. He was not hyperfocusing on the rocks in order to avoid looking at his partner. Nagini was a very particular snake, and she would not accept a subpar stone into their den. That, and not the danger of caving the moment he saw Harry’s green eyes brimming with petulant dejection, was why Tom took such care in picking out their purchase.
It was a mistake.
He should have known that the instant he took his eyes off Harry the man would sprint over to the section of the shop reserved for the snakes.
When Tom turned to ask his partner for an opinion about the rocks and saw the completely empty aisle, he cursed under his breath. Tom put the rock in his basket and went to collect Hedwig and Ramses’ preferred brand of owl-treats, hoping beyond all logic that Harry would show even a single measure of restraint today.
Tom’s hope, as always, was unfounded. This was proven when Harry sidled up next to him with a smile stretching his face into an even more attractive arrangement, which was honestly unfair. How was Tom supposed to stand strong against that?
“Tom! Look who I met.”
Harry thrust his arm forwards so Tom could see the tiny little snake coiled around his forearm. The snakeling was admittedly adorable, all glimmering scales and bobbing head excitedly nodding at the human carting him around.
“This little guy and I got to talking, and he’s so lonely here. None of the other snakes that Isadore is carrying right now are magical, so he’s been in his own enclosure by himself for a month!”
Tom didn’t even sigh. He just lifted his fingers to pinch at the bridge of his nose, praying to Mother Magic that it would stave off his impending headache.
“I know right!” Harry said, taking Tom’s frustration as a sign of his displeasure about the little snake’s current living arrangement. Willfully misunderstanding him, in actuality, Tom knew.
“We have to help, Tom.”
Tom tilted his head back to stare at the ceiling, hoping a deity who actually had a hope of succeeding would come down and intercede on his behalf. When no one came to help after Tom gave them an adequate amount of time to do so, cowards, Tom finally looked back at the man he loved who also doubled as the bane of his existence
“Harry, no, you have to stop doing this,” he said, tone as firm as he could make it.
His partner’s deadpan stare made Tom’s stomach sink. This. This is why he could never say no to Harry. Harry, who stood with one hand cocked on his hip and the other holding up a lovely little ashwinder who was glancing up at Harry as if he were the greatest thing since live mice, raised an eyebrow as if to say really, you think you can resist this?
Tom groaned, rubbing his palm over the right side of his face. No, no he absolutely could not resist that fucking adorable sight.
The snakeling was hissing in flustered adoration as it curled around Harry’s forearm, and Tom felt defeat creeping up a step closer. "You mean I’d have nestmates?! Real nestmates?" Harry’s emotionless stare cracked, and he shot Tom a smile that was both smug and excited before he focused on the ashwinder, chuckled, and answered affirmatively as the snake wiggled against his skin, full of glee at the thought. Fuck, that’s even cuter.
As usual, resistance was futile.
After finally exiting the shop with their new snakeling, owl treats, two warming rocks and a vial of soot that came from the mother of their ashwinder-now named Biodach-in tow, Tom made a promise to himself. It was one he’d need Harry to agree to in order to keep it, though.
“We are never coming to the Magical Menagerie again.”
Harry snorted a laugh under his breath and rolled his eyes. His right index finger stroked Biodach’s scales as the snake chattered up at him about all the smells of the Alley on the way to the apparition point.
“I’m serious,” Tom spat back. “Never again.” Biodach was undeterred by his new owner’s ire and continued his running commentary on the surroundings, but Harry could almost feel the utter and complete exasperation emanating from Tom.
Harry gave their new snake a final long stroke before removing his hand and reaching over to entwine his fingers with Tom’s as they walked.
Tom sighed but squeezed Harry’s hand lightly and began rubbing his thumb over Harry’s knuckles after another block or so. “We’re owl-ordering every owl, snake or familiar-related item we need from now on.”
Harry laughed and swayed his hip as they walked to bump into Tom’s, jolting him slightly. “Don’t you think you’re going a bit overboard, love? I thought we left your dramatic period behind in fifth year, Volde-” Tom squeezed his partner’s hand so hard Harry’s knuckles cracked and then pulled his hand back to cross both arms over his chest. And no, walking with his arms crossed was not pouting, Harry.
“I’ll show you dramatic if you finish that sentence.” Tom threatened. Harry raised an eyebrow as he cast his eyes over Tom’s crossed arms and defensive posture. “As you wish, my Lord.”
Tom did not consider kicking out at Harry’s shin to be childish. He considered it justice. Justice made sweeter by Harry’s hissed curse and Biodach’s reprimand about bad words.
“Still, you know you love visiting the Menagerie as much as I do, Tom. You’ll be begging to come back and see the newest snakelings in three months.” Harry continued once he’d gotten over the ache in his lower leg.
Tom stopped and reached out to force Harry to a stop as well.
“Harry,” he said, looking at the man as seriously as he could, trying to convey how close he was to losing it at the idea of coming back and taking another snake home in three months' time. “I truly don’t know if I’ll ever be able to hear myself think again while at home. Silence terrifies me, because what the fuck could our eight, EIGHT, snakes be doing that they’re not arguing with each other so loudly it’s like having an entire house full of hormone-ridden teenagers or slithering over the floorboards and making the house creak or curled around one of my apendages? I mean it. We cannot take in another snake. I will lose what little sanity I have left. We. Cannot. Do. It.”
Harry watched him with wide eyes and a slightly open mouth as the diatribe exploded out of him. Tom was breathing hard by the end of it, and he could feel his magic rustling his hair out of place.
Harry closed his mouth and pursed his lips, trembling slightly before finally bursting into laughter. As in, the man actually bent over at the waist and half-laughed, half-screamed in his mirth. Every time he tried to stop, he’d take another look at Tom and see his disheveled clothes and hair, see his outraged garnet eyes and his hold on his hilarity would once again escape. Tom’s dissent into an obvious sulk at his reaction only continued to set Harry off, and it ended up being their newest snake’s confused questions that eventually calmed Harry down.
“I promise, love. Biodach will be our last,” Harry swore, even as a small chuckle or two still fell from his lips.
A tendril of Harry’s magic reached out and settled over Tom’s robes, smoothing the fabric of its wrinkles and straightening the lines of the cloth. His non-snake-covered hand reached up to push Tom’s waves back into place, tucking one side behind his ear. While already in the vicinity, Harry’s thumb stroked along Tom’s cheekbone. Tom huffed but leaned a little further into Harry’s palm where it rested against the side of his face.
Harry sighed as he withdrew his hand and settled it into the crook of Tom’s elbow, moving them once again towards the apparition point.
“Our snake den is full enough as it is,” He agreed. “But if it’ll ease your terror-filled heart,” a small smirk flashed across Harry’s face for a moment when Tom huffed, only to disappear when Tom looked at him, “then, alright, we can owl-order all our products from the Menagerie from now on.”
Tom opened his mouth and closed it again quickly, biting back the sharp retort he owed his partner for that teasing remark. He had just gotten what he wanted. Now was the time to be gracious and let Harry’s jest go.
He pressed a kiss to Harry’s head as they made their way to the short line that had queued for the apparition coordinates.
“Thank you, darling.”
“Of course, love. Now, are you ready to introduce our newest snakeling to his nestmates?” Harry asked with a grin as they reached the front of the line and got into position.
Tom’s groan could have echoed across the Alley for as loud and dramatic as it was.
“For God’s sake, I’m going to need ear plugs.”
Harry’s laugh and Biodach’s excited hisses were the last thing those standing near them heard before two loud cracks took the pair back home to their very full-now even fuller-house.