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Chapter Text

POV CATRA

 I'm sitting in my bed with my back touching the cold wall of the ancient ship. Thinking about how this garbage metal is protecting us from the void of space and a painful death, makes my heart run fast. But as soon as I remember Entrapta's voice calling it Darla, makes me smile and gives me a little relief. As if the ship was a friend taking care of me and the rest and I should trust her.

It was nice talking to Entrapta earlier. She feels too complicated sometimes but in reality she is simply nice. I mean.. after all I did she just forgave me. Maybe I'm the complicated one, making things harder in my mind, thinking too much about how's the right way to apologize to someone. 

I've been sitting in this bed alone for two hours, maybe three. It's hard keeping track of time in space. When Adora knocked at my door earlier I ask her if she could give me some time alone. I tried to sound as nicer as I could. I didn't want her to think that I was pushing her away. In fact, that's the least thing I want to do.

As soon as Entrapta took the chip out of my neck I felt.. lighter. It is a new feeling and I need time to understand what it is. Of course I still carry with the atrocities committed in my past, but now feels like a new start.

I hear loud laughter coming from outside my room. I lift my ears and try to get a clue of what is going on. Something about food is what I catch. My stomach growls loud so I stand up and head to the door without thinking it twice.

When the door opens a smell of homemade food fills my lungs. I see everyone, even wrong Hordak, sitting in a circle. All chatting and laughing.

I walk slowly towards them, trying to put aside the voice in my head saying "they hate you", "you don't belong".

I sit down behind Glimmer and Bow but not even a second later, they open up a space for me to sit between them. I look at Adora, waiting for a sign of permission. She looks at me with her beautiful blue eyes and gives me the cutest smile. I smile back and join the group.

"You have to try this" says Glimmer passing me a kind of food I've never seen before.

I give it a bite and oh god how good it tastes. I was so hungry that the feeling of it in my mouth makes my eyes water a bit.

"Oh she loves it!!!” says Bow with too much excitement.

"I really do. Give my compliments to the chef" I say with my mouth so full of that incredible food, I barely made myself understood.

"You give it to her. She is right beside you" Adora says giggling and pointing too Glimmer who looks at me with the biggest smile I've ever seen. Clearly very proud of herself.

"Ha no way sparkles did this" I respond.

Glimmer looks at me with an angry stare and lightly pushes my shoulder.

"Believe it or not I did" she says with an air of superiority. "With... A little help".

"Oh I did nothing. You are the real chef". Wrong Hordak says while blushing.

"How do clons know how to cook!? Tell me everything about it" Entrapta shouts.

"Hey, let him keep his secrets" I respond.

" We don't need to know how just.. keep doing it" Adora says with her mouth full. 

"It would be my pleasure. I find the activity of cooking very pleasing" Wrong Hordak says with a smile.

"Um guys, are you forgetting that I MADE IT TOO" Glimmer shouts and crosses her arms in her chest.

"We know Sparkles and you know what? It was so good we would like you to make lunch tomorrow and the day after. Oh you can do dinner too. Every day of every week" I say messing with her.

"Yeah what about no" Glimmer responds and everyone laughs. "Lets say I don't find cooking a pleasant activity any more, the spotlight is all yours Wrong Hordak".

"Thank you sister" Wrong Hordak responds.

I laugh alongside the others. I like Wrong Hordak, in fact I think I like all of them.

I look around at everyone, all laughing, eating and making jokes. For the first time I feel like I belong. I feel in peace, and wish this would last for a little longer.

Chapter Text

POV ADORA

I was running as fast as I could to Catra's room when Entrapta stopped me halfway. 

"The extraction was a success" She shouted proudly "The chip is out".

A sensation of relief ran through my whole body. I hugged Entrapta and whispered "thank you" in her ear. She looked at me and smile. I couldn't stop some tears coming out.

I continue my way to Catra's room, now in a less hurry than before, taking my time to wipe my tears away before reaching the door.

I knocked.

"Hey Catra, it's me" I said with a tone of happiness in my voice and a bit of concern.

"Hey, Adora" her voice was quiet, she sounded happy but exhausted.

"Can I come in?" I asked

"Could you.. please.. come back later?" She asked, doubting. Like she was thinking too much about how to phrase those words.

"Sure. Try to rest okay?” I responded with a tone of concern.

Catra chuckled and said "I'm fine Adora, don't worry" and after a pause she added "thank you, for everything"

I left the door with a big smile and red cheeks, and headed to my room. I needed to rest a little before dinner time.

I closed the door and laid on my bed. Thinking.

For the past days the only thing that was in my mind was Catra. I tried hard to organise my ideas but everything was too complicated. 

"After all she did.. is this okay?" I asked myself with my voice inside my head. Pictures of Catra in her worst came in my brain. Our fights, her insane stare while opening the portal, when leaving me hanging on a cliff.

What bothered me was that after all that, I still loved her.

And it's been a couple days since that word came up to my head but this time with a new meaning.

Love.

I really didn't know how much that word meant when I was back in the horde. I mean.. there wasn't much of it back there. We didn't even have movies for reference.

I just knew that Catra was my person. I was there for her and she was there for me. And I really liked being with her, every second of the day. 

- I smiled at the memories of us in the horde popping in my mind.-

And I guess that was love for me.

It was in my drawings of her where I placed the little hearts.

All those memories... our drawings, our handmade gifts, even a picture we managed to take once. All lost in a drawer somewhere in the horde.

After trying to sleep a little, without any success, I decided to join the others outside my room. It was almost dinner time after all.

Everyone was too happy. The first thing Bow did when I crossed the door was give me the biggest hug and do little jumps with me. 

"We are going home" he exclaimed.

After a  couple minutes, Glimmer arrived with a huge dish full of dumplings and Wrong Hordak on her side.

I was so hungry I almost cried when smelling the food.

We all sat in a circle and grabbed the food. It was delicious. 

Suddenly the door opened and she was there. 

Catra walked towards us and sat behind Glimmer and Bow.

I was surprised and confused but in the second she put her eyes straight at me I couldn't stopped myself from blushing and smiling. I was so proud of her.

Chapter Text

POV CATRA

The plate that once contained the delicious dumplings, remained empty in the centre of the circle. Everyone was full but noone denied Glimmer's cake offer. Apparently eating cake or "dessert", as they called it,  was a common thing to do for them.

I took my piece of cake and ate it in silence. Enjoying every bit of it. Would they know that the last time I ate something this sweet was when I was ten?, I think to myself. Adora and I were playing in the horde when we accidentally got ourselves into a room full of containers. It was the deposit room, where all the supplies were stored. Adora and I knew we weren't allowed there but of course we were not going to leave without at least taking a look inside one of those containers. Of course we chose the one that said "forbidden" in big red letters.

Inside of it we found bottles with different liquids, I recognised the one with the label "wine" because some older guys had spread the rumour that Shadow Weaver drunk that to remain young. Luckily we decided not to try it or things would have ended up very bad.

Well, to be honest things didn't end up well that day. After putting away the bottles, we found the real gold. A kind of food that we had never seen before.

Pure sweetness covered our mouths and we couldn't stop eating. How lucky were the adults in charge, giving ten year old children ration bars for every meal of the day, while they had containers full of real food. Another realization of how fucked up life at the horde was.

That day the sugar caught our brains and my and Adora's energy was over the sky. Shadow Weaver ended up discovering that something happened to us and I paid the consequences. She told me that if I didn't confess where I found the food, I was not going to see Adora again. As a 10 year old fool I got scared and spilled the truth. Next thing Shadow Weaver made sure it was impossible to enter the deposit room ever again, making sure our hands would never be over that delicious food again. And I had to spend a week without food. Lucky me I had Adora sharing with me half of her protein bars.

I smile at the memory. Even though I know how fucked up life was at the horde, the little adventures I had with Adora always give me a happy feeling. 

I look at adora while I chew the cake and she giggles and smiles back at me. She looks cute.

Maybe she remembers our adventure, maybe she knows exactly what I'm thinking about. 

Everyone finished their cake and we spent a couple more minutes talking about how crazy that day was. It was Glimmer and Wrong Hordak who stood up first. They said they were going to clean the dishes and then go to sleep. Then it was Entrapta who said she had to go to her room to do more research before sleeping and finally Bow, who had been yawning non stop, wished us a good night and walked away to his bedroom. 

It was only Adora and I in the room.

I'm not going to deny how nervous I was. In fact, I was looking down at my hands to not make eye contact with her.

After a few seconds Adora spoke and I was so glad she broke the ice.

"I know exactly what crossed your mind while eating the cake"

I raised my head and looked at her, just to find her beautiful smile. "You do?" I responded smiling back at her.

"Well yes, how to forget the first time we tried something that was not grey and nasty" she said.

"That was a good day" I laughed. "Not even Shadow Weaver could ruin it. Every punishment was worth that cake"

Adora looked at me with pity and I hated it.

"Imagine if we had gotten drunk with the wine and Shadow Weaver found us" I said while laughing.

"That would have been hilarious" Adora said without being able to stop laughing. "She would have got so mad at us because we took her alcohol"

We continued laughing for a while, imagining how drunk Shadow Weaver would look like.

"Stop my stomach is hearting" Adora said laughing.

"Alright, enough laughter for today" I said smiling.

Adora and I stood up and walked through the corridor where all the bedrooms were located. We stopped in front of her door and looked at each other. 

"She is so pretty" I heard the voice in my head say.

I didn't want to say goodbye. I wanted to hug her and stay in her arms forever. But that's not how things are. I harmed her and laughing with her doesn't mean she forgot about it. I have to accept that my fantasies will never get real.

I wished her a good night and walked to my room, without looking back.

Chapter Text

POV ADORA

I watched Catra walk to her bedroom with the immense urge to stop her and beg her to stay with me for the night. She closed the door without looking back and I felt like a coward for doing nothing.

I got inside my bedroom and prepared to sleep. Undressing and putting on my pajamas felt so good after that long exhausting day. Though, it wasn't as easy to fall asleep as I thought it would be.

She was in my head. I could feel her motionless body hanging on my arms over again. I could feel the pain in my chest that didn't allow me to breathe and the tears running through my cheeks.

I thought she had left me. She actually did. If it hadn't been for She-ra... If I hadn't been able to transform.. Catra.. she...

I broke in tears as the thought of losing her.

"Not again" I whispered to myself.

And as I got exhausted of crying, I fell asleep.

The next day, I woke up and got dressed for the day. When I looked at myself in the mirror, I noticed how red and swollen my eyes were for crying. I washed my face with cold water hoping it would help.

I walked to Catra's bedroom. I really needed to see her safe and sound to erase all my thoughts from last night, all my fears.

I knocked at her door but she didn't answer. I pressed my ear on the cold metal door, hoping I could hear anything that would assured me she was fine.

Nothing. No sounds.

I started panicking.

I opened the door with the fear that Catra would think I was an annoying blonde girl who can't leave her alone, but I didn't care.

To my surprise the bed was empty. 

"She left me, she abandoned me" I thought.

I was to blind or just an idiot to realize that she couldn't have left because we were in a spaceship in the middle of nothing.

As I started panicking again, I heard her voice behind me.

"Hey, Adora. Looking for me?" 

I turned around and she was there, safe and sound. But most importantly, she seemed happy. Big eyes, big smile, just like the old Catra.

"The old Catra" I thought.

And just as I said that, I noticed what she was wearing. Her old clothes. 

So many thoughts and emotions hit me at once. Seeing her like that relieved me. She looked happy and healthy. She was okay. She looked so good wearing her clothes and it actually felt like the real Catra was back, but that scared me a little.

"I.. I came to wake you up" I said nervously. "You know, like the old days" I smiled.

"Well guess I was faster than you" she laughed. "I finally had a proper sleep, I feel so good" she said with a smile in her face, and watching her like that made me so happy.

"You though.. seems like you had a horrible night" she said while walking towards me. "Are you okay?" She placed her hands in each of my cheeks. Checking how I looked.

I was dying inside. I didn't want her to see me like that. 

"I'm fine" I said, placing my hands on hers and looking straight at her eyes, we were too close.

"She is here, she is okay, she is touching me" I thought and I had the urge to cry again, but I didn't.

"I have a surprise for you princess" she said while grabbing my hand and pushing me outside her bedroom.

"Where are you taking me?" I said laughing.

A few seconds later, she opened the kitchen door and screamed "tah dah".

On the table there were two plates with a mountain of pancakes each.

"You made this!?" I said surprised

"I did and without Wrong Hordak's help" she said triumphant. "Though I didn't want to steal his new job so I only made them for us, don't tell the others"

I looked at her and smiled. I was so proud, I felt the urge to cry of happiness again. And this time I couldn't stop it.

"No, Adora don't cry. You know I cry when you cry" Catra said while hugging me. "What's wrong?"

"I'm just too happy that you are here" I responded and immediately felt stupid for saying it out loud.

There was a moment of silence but we were still hugging.

"I'm happy to be here with you, too" Catra said and she hugged me even tighter.

"I knew that wearing my clothes again would make you emotional, but not like this" she said laughing and I kicked her leg and pushed her away while laughing.

"You don't have that power over me, though you look great"  I said.

"Yeah, the clothes you lent me didn't suit me well" she said messing with me.

"Well, they suit me well" I said raising my eyebrows.

Catra blushed a little and I started laughing.

"Where did you find your clothes anyway?" I asked curious.

"I just know that Entrapta made an exact replica of them for the future clone of myself she would build. That's all I know and I don't want to know more" she said.

"Enough of clones" I responded.

"Yeah.. well c'mon the pancakes are getting cold" she said.

"How did you cook this? It's delicious" I asked.

"I just read the instructions on the box. Figured if Sparkles did it anyone could".

I laughed and continue eating. The moment felt so surreal, I wanted to record it in my brain forever. Catra was here with me and we were eating something delicious that she made for me. Things were finally good.

Chapter Text

POV CATRA

After all these years, I almost forgot how rewarding was making Adora happy. Even something as simple as pancakes, could make her smile and give you a look of love that made you feel like the luckiest person in the world.

Back in the Horde, I gave Adora many gifts just to see her like that. Plenty of drawings, stones of weird shapes that I found around, grey ration bars, but the best one was the flower.

I was around ten or eleven years old, when I was running around the Fright Zone trying to find a new cool secret place to hide with Adora from Shadow Weaver. Inside one of the cracks of a wall in the highest spot of the Fright Zone, I found a small blue flower. Adora and I had seen pictures of flowers in a book about nature when we were younger. I remembered Adora calling them "the most beautiful thing she had ever seen". The book said that flowers needed three things to grow - water, light and love. No wonder why they were imposible to find in the Fright Zone.

But, somehow that little flower maneged to grow.

My first thought was to cut it and give it to Adora. Just the idea of how happy she would be made me excited. I would put it in my pocket until I found Adora and give it to her, then she would hide it under her pillow so Shadow Weaver could never find it.

I was about to do it but I stopped myself. There was something poetic in that flower that managed to survive in that hell of a place. I didn't want to kill it and condemned it to stay hidden forever. So instead, I found Adora and told her I had a suprise for her. I took her hand and made her swear she wasn't going to open her eyes. Climbing to the top of the highest place in the Fright Zone with Adora covering her eyes was a challenge, but we did it.

"Open your eyes at the count of three" I said.

One...

Two..

Three...

"This is for you" I said pointing at the flower, blushing.

 Adora saw it with her eyes and mouth wide open. She then gave me a hug, unable to say a word.

We stayed like that for some minutes and then she pulled away from the hug. She looked at me straight into my eyes and said "Thank you. This is the best thing someone has ever done to me".

From that day on, we climbed every day to the highest place in the Fright Zone to check on the flower. It became our personal spot, even after the little flower was gone.

Ever since that day, I knew that I wanted to see Adora that happy for the rest of my life. I wanted to be the one who gave her that smile and look in her eyes. And there she was now, eating those pancakes none stop, as happy as if I had gifted her the entire universe.

"How can she be so naive?" I thought while I saw her eat. "How can she trust me after all I did?, How can she still give me that smile after I hurted her so much?".

There was a part of me that was angry with Adora. I hated how she treated me, as if this past three years never existed. I wanted her to be mad at me, I wanted to pay for my actions. I was not worthy of her smile anymore.

When Glimmer and Bow arrived to the kitchen all I could think of was how I destroyed their home, tried to kill their loved ones and there they were, smiling and treating me like their best friend. I was too emerged into my thoughts that I didn't hear what they were talking about, I just laughed and nodded. 

Everyone was occupied for the rest of the day. Bow was in charge of piloting the ship, Wrong Hordak spent the day in the kitchen practicing different recipes, Entrapta was doing who knows what to the ship and She-ra helped her, Glimmer was in charge of everything, controlling that everyone was doing their job. Me? well I spent the day with Melog wondering around the ship, thinking too much about stuff, feeling like a piece of shit.

"Sorry I'm making you so miserable today" I said to Melog who instantly laid its head on my legs. We were both sitting on the floor of an empty dark room.

"I must be the worst person to bond with. My mind is too messed up" I said while petting it.

I closed my eyes and rested my head on the wall, immersing myself in my thoughts.

"Hey there you are" I heard and opened my eyes scared.

"Sorry, I didn't want to give you a heart attack" she laughed.

"Hey, Adora" I said while she sat next to me and started petting Melog. "You stopped being She-ra already?"

"Yes, she needed to rest" she said sarcastically, "What? You miss her? I can bring her back if you want" she said raising her hand.

"No no no" I quickly said while grabbing her arm and stopping her, "I'm fine just with you".

"Hey, I missed you too" Adora said to Melog, who was purring loud and enjoying too much Adora's caress.

She looked so cute. 

I had my eyes fixed on her and I think she realised because she looked at me, smiled and laid her head on my shoulder.

I got tense. "This was wrong, she shouldn't trust me. I don't even trust myself" I thought and Adora must have noticed something was wrong because she moved away from me.

"Sorry, I didn't want to make you uncomfortable", she said and sighed, "Maybe it's too soon. It's just that... I .. I missed being with you so much".

I wished I had told her that all I wanted was to have her by my side, to kiss her and hug her.. to have her resting on my arms. But I couldn't because all I could think about was "I don't deserve her, I don't want to hurt her again".

"Adora stop" I said.

She looked at me confused and I couldn't bear watching her so I got on my feets and run to my room, Melog following me behind.