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After everything that had transpired over the last few days, Izuku had a lot to think about.
Of course, he couldn't share these thoughts with anyone. Not with the secret he carried about his quirk and his origins before he received One for All. No one besides his mom, All Might, and Kacchan knew that Izuku was born quirkless. All Might wasn't here, his mom knew no details of the mission he went on, and Kacchan... well, is Kacchan. He wouldn't care either way. He'd just tell Izuku he was being dumb and forget the conversation ever happened.
But learning that there was an entire organization out there that comprised of mostly quirkless people (with some quirked), had really messed with his head.
Izuku had spent 14 years of his life quirkless. An outcast to society, told he would never go anywhere in life because he was 'less developed.' Nothing but an Atroph. How he hated that stupid slur. That was the worst of the variety of names he was called throughout his time growing up. Kids would throw around rumors that his quirklessness was contagious, even, and furthered his retreat into himself. He could never be who he wanted to be, was put down simply for having a dream and wanting nothing more than to follow it.
He had always understood that being the first quirkless hero would be difficult, even near impossible. But he wanted to try. And he also knew, that if it didn't work out, then that was that. All he wanted was to try.
Then All Might came along and offered him a chance he couldn't refuse. Izuku hasn't once regretted it since he accepted, but sometimes he couldn't help but think: What if?
As he stared out the window of the plane, Izuku sighed. This train of thought was dangerous, and he was well aware of that fact. But it was hard to stop once he'd started to feed the ideas in his head.
If he had known about Humarise before he received One for All, what would he have done? It was easy enough to say, Oh, I'd never be a part of something so horrible. But... the day that All Might had told him there was no way someone would make it as a quirkless hero, and to be realistic, Izuku remembered feeling himself finally giving up hope. That entire day had been the epitome of hell for him, and he still remembered it vividly. As much as he hated to acknowledge it, Izuku had briefly considered taking Kacchan's terrible 'advice' from then. There he was, stranded on a rooftop high enough that it would work, and he'd just had his entire life's dream smashed to pieces by the fist of his greatest hero. He remembered thinking, What if I did it? What do I have to lose? Who would miss me, besides Mom?
Years worth of slurs and other name-calling, spider lilies put on his desk as a joke from his classmates, being humiliated by peers and teachers alike. It all added up in the end, and had it not been for All Might offering Izuku One for All... he probably would have been dead by now. He hated to think about it.
So, would he have joined Humarise, had he known it had existed? It was likely. There was always an underlying, hidden bitterness in Izuku for many years that everyone around him had a quirk and because of that fact, they placed themselves on a pedestal and left Izuku in the dirt. Alone, cold, and hopeless. Never had he acted on any of this inner resentment, but it was always there. Not all of the scars on his body are from hero training, after all.
"Oi, nerd."
Izuku startled, bumping his head against the side of the plane and yelping. "Kacchan!"
He'd forgotten that Kacchan was in the seat beside him the whole time. Had Izuku been muttering? Was he irritating him? Did he say anything he shouldn't have?
"The fuck are you so upset about?" Kacchan scowled. "We kicked ass. You should be glad we fucking won."
Oh. "It's nothing, Kacchan."
His former friend snorted. "Yeah, right. The hell's up with you?"
A glance behind them told him that Endeavor was fast asleep, and Shouto had his earbuds in, nearly the same. Izuku bit his lip, Oh, what the hell.
"Do you... do you think I..."
"Hah? Spit it out, Deku."
"Do you think if I'd never met All Might, I could've ended up... like them?"
Kacchan's eyes widened minutely, and Izuku shrunk into himself. He probably shouldn't have even said anything. He was right, Kacchan would just brush him off and say he was being ridiculous and to forget about it, to revel in their victory and get over it.
To his surprise, Kacchan tsked and shrugged. "I doubt it."
Izuku whipped his head back around. "What?"
"I doubt it," Kacchan repeated. "You were obsessed with heroes and with quirks. If you ended up like those Humarise fuckers you'd have no fucking quirks to fill your creepy ass journals with. You love quirks, dumbass."
Sighing again, Izuku ripped the band-aid off. "No, I don't."
"The fuck you mean, you don't?"
"I think they're interesting, but I don't love them. I was... really envious for a long time. That everyone had something to make them special except for me. And that everyone told me I was lesser for it. Quirks are fascinating, but... if I was still quirkless, I don't know if I would turn down a hypothetical offer to join an organization full of people like me, and who wanted to make everyone like me. I think they would've been the only people in the world who would accept an Atroph like me."
The last three words were said with venom in his voice, and Kacchan leaned the slightest bit away from him.
There was a pregnant silence after Izuku finished talking, and he spared a glance at the boy next to him, who surprisingly looked like he was deep in thought. Kacchan had that look on his face that said he was really thinking: The furrowed eyebrows, the slightly pouted lip, the narrowed eyes, the shifted left cheek that said he was biting the skin inside.
"Is this because of the shit that I━"
"Partly," Izuku interrupted with his admission. "But not just that. It wasn't only you. It was everyone."
Kacchan scowled and crossed his arms. "Look, I was an asshole. I fucking know that. Don't take any of the shit I said to you seriously. Got it?"
Izuku's eyes widened, his jaw dropping down. "Kacchan are you... are you apologizing?"
"Not yet," he glared at Izuku. "Doesn't mean I'm not going to, though. Just... Look. You never could've ended up like those bitchasses in that shitty group. Even if you did somehow end up with them back then, you wouldn't have known what to fucking do with yourself in a world where everyone was quirkless. You've spent your entire damn life around quirks, watching them and shit. If you had none to do that and keep yourself fucking sane, you would've gone nowhere. Half the reason I hated you was because you never fucking gave up and you were always so full of goddamn hope even with everyone telling you to give the fuck up. You never did. And..."
"...And?" Izuku gently prompted, still not believing this conversation was actually happening.
"And nothing," Kacchan shook his head. "I'll tell you that when I do fucking apologize. You've never listened to anything I told you to do in the past, but you're gonna fucking listen now, got it? You would never be anything like them. Fucking hell, Deku. Making me be all gross and soft and shit. You done now? I am."
Izuku sat back in his chair and blinked. "...Yeah. I'm done. Thanks, Kacchan."
"Good. Now take a fucking nap or something and quit your damn thinking. It's like, three in the fucking morning."
"You know? I think I will."