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“He’s Fatui.”
Kaeya is grateful for his fast reflexes. He catches the glass easily before it shatters against the oakwood floor of Angel’s Share. “Obviously.” He offers the glass back to Diluc, who is staring at Kaeya like he just announced he’s the Cryo Archon.
“He’s from Snezhnaya. And he’s a Fatui agent.” Diluc makes an aborted gesture with the cleaning cloth in his hand, brows knitting, and Kaeya grins and sets the glass on the bar.
“It’s a mission,” he says, trying and failing to keep the laughter out of his voice. “I didn’t say I wanted to sleep with him. I said I --”
Diluc snatches the glass from the bar and slams it onto the rack with enough force to make all the glasses tinkle. “I don’t want to have this conversation with you.”
“Which one?” Kaeya offers Diluc a lazy smile. “I thought you wanted to know all the business of the Knights of Mondstadt.”
“Not,” says Diluc slowly, through gritted teeth, “all of it. You don’t need to inform me that you intend to seduce the Snezhnayan diplomat.”
“You don’t care where I get my information from?”
Diluc gives Kaeya the evil eye, which, for Diluc, looks more like a blank stare. Kaeya’s pretty sure he can tell the difference. “Kaeya.”
“Diluc.” Kaeya folds his hands on the bar and tries to look as innocent as possible. “You’ll spike his wine for me?”
“Absolutely not.” Diluc tosses the cleaning rag down on the bar counter in disgust. “I don’t want any hand in this.”
Kaeya slides a vial out of his breast pocket and offers it to Diluc. “Look at this.” The liquid in the vial glows faintly blue.
Diluc accepts it suspiciously and holds it up to the light. “Albedo made this?”
He’s got him. Kaeya allows himself a sneaky grin. “Finest truth serum ever seen in Teyvat.”
“And how do I know it isn’t poison?” Diluc lowers the vial, but doesn’t offer it back to Kaeya just yet. “I can’t have a customer keeling over during business hours.”
“No keeling over will take place,” Kaeya promises, and then thinks for a moment. “Well. Not in your tavern, at least. Not during business hours.”
Diluc levels a long and heavy stare at Kaeya. “Fine,” he says finally, and Kaeya beams. “I want a favor in return.”
“Name it.”
“Don’t ever talk to me about your romantic pursuits again.” Diluc snatches the rag off the bar. “Now get out. We’re closed.”
_________________________
“My, my,” says Venti, and clucks his tongue. “The Cavalry Captain is making such a fool of himself.”
Rosaria knocks back the remnants of her drink. “Who is it this time?”
Venti hums, absentmindedly fingering the strings of his lyre as he gazes over the balcony rail to the crowded first floor of Angel’s Share. “The redhead.”
“Ha,” says Rosaria, humorlessly. “Lisa owes me fifteen mora.”
“What did she bet?”
“The Snezhnayan would approach him first.”
“Lisa’s a fool.” Venti plucks out a staccato tune. “Kaeya’s doing the thing where --”
“He drops his earring?” Rosaria snorts. “Tired.”
“I know,” Venti agrees. “He does it so he can bend over --
“-- and show off his --”
“Venti.” The quiet voice makes them both spin around. Albedo, as serene as ever, gazes back at them. “It would be lovely if you could play a song now. I think the audience would quite enjoy one at this time of the night.”
Venti glances at Rosaria, who makes a face that says I have no more idea as to what he’s talking about than you do . “Okay,” he says warily, “what kind of song?”
Albedo approaches the balcony, glancing down to the bar. “A love song,” he says softly, and below, one of the eleven great Fatui Harbingers raises his drink in a toast, knocking his glass against the glass of Mondstadt’s Cavalry Captain.
_____________________
Sure as night turns dusk to dawn
I’ll love ‘til light has found dark gone
First kiss in love’s eternal youth
I’ll love ‘til lies turn tongue to truth
“Archons,” says Childe, in what he hopes is a steady voice, but what is probably shaky enough to betray how far gone he already is. “You should do that again.”
The man in blue and silver - Kaeya, his name was - smiles back at him like Childe imagines a snake would smile, if snakes were very smug and also incredibly attractive. “Are you sure?”
There are very few things in life that Childe has been sure of, but this is one of them. “Yes,” he says immediately, followed by, “You have really nice collarbones.” Oh, he thinks, I didn’t mean to say that part, but Kaeya is already leaning in and the rest of his thoughts kind of get tripped up in a sudden tidal wave of WOW.
“Anything else you’d like to tell me?” Kaeya’s mouth is at his ear, and Childe imagines this is what it must feel like to be a slime; he is melting, bonelessly, into a puddle of lava.
“Yeah,” Childe breathes. “I’m a Fatui Harbinger.”
“Mm-hm.”
“I’m here in Mondstadt for -- Archons, you -- for unofficial business.”
“Yes, good. What else?”
“I, ah…”
“Go ahead.” Kaeya’s hands are in his hair. Childe isn’t quite sure where he ends and where Kaeya begins, to be honest.
“I really like ice-fishing.” He has no idea what he’s saying. Not that it matters. “My younger brother and I would -- oh -- we would go out to the lake in the winter.”
Kaeya pulls back a little. “What?”
“I used to have a stutter.” The words pour out of him. “I’m left-handed, but I pretend I’m not. Kiss me again, okay?”
Kaeya leans in to press an impatient kiss to his jawline. “What about the Fatui?” he murmurs. “Tell me more about them.”
“They’re all pains in the ass.” Childe yelps a little when Kaeya’s nails dig into his scalp. “Do that again.”
Kaeya fists a hand in Childe’s hair. “What do you mean?”
“They get on my nerves. We all get on each other’s nerves.” Childe tries to bite back a groan. “I think Scaramouche might be afraid of lizards.”
“Are you planning anything?” There’s a new edge to Kaeya’s voice. It’s extremely sexy, Childe thinks. “What’s your next target?”
“I don’t know -- ah -- but La Signora is kind of hot.” Childe reaches out to trace a thumb over Kaeya’s cheekbones. “Not like you, though. That’s like comparing an Archon to a -- to a pufferfish.”
“Am I the pufferfish in this metaphor?” Kaeya’s voice is suddenly less smouldering and more amused. Childe can’t think straight.
“No?” He squirms beneath Kaeya’s hands. “I mean, if you are, you're like a really pretty pufferfish. Can you --”
“Mi muhe ye, ika ya.” The guttural syllables are startling, and certainly the laughter in Kaeya’s voice is cause for concern, but Childe is pretty much past the point of caring. “This is ridiculous,” he says, in a voice still full of humor, and leans in to kiss Childe again, this time so thoroughly he briefly forgets every one of his names.
_____________________
“He called me a pufferfish!” Kaeya says brightly, and Diluc doesn’t look up from the glass he’s polishing, but he does begin to scrub a little harder. “It was really a romantic moment. He --”
“Kaeya.” Diluc’s face is stony. “What was our agreement.”
Kaeya sticks out his tongue. “Who am I supposed to talk to about it, then?”
“Lisa. Jean. Whoever assigned you the mission.” Diluc wants to scream. He settles for reaching for another glass. “Or Albedo. Tell him about the results of his truth serum. He’ll be thrilled.”
“Oh, I already did.” Kaeya flaps his hand dismissively. “A failure.”
“What?”
“It’s not an interrogation serum. It’s a truth serum.” Kaeya blows his bangs out of his eyes in disappointment. “He just told me personal truths.”
Diluc is out of glasses to pretend to clean. “So it was all for nothing?” he demands.
Kaeya grins. “I wouldn’t say that. I learned a few interesting things.”
“About what?”
Kaeya glances out the window. “Oh, look at the time. I should be going.” He starts for the door.
“About what , Kaeya?” Diluc’s fingers dig into the bar counter.
“About Childe, of course! He has a really fun way of looking at the world.” Kaeya winks and spins towards the exit. “I’m meeting him here for dinner tonight,” he adds over his shoulder. “Table for two, okay?”
Half a moment too late, the glass shatters against the door of Angel’s Share as it slams shut. The sound of Kaeya’s laughter echoes out into the streets.