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“I walked through the door with you, the air was cold
But something about it felt like home somehow…”
Shi Qingxuan remembers it all too well.
The first time since he walked out of his brother’s palace with a heavy heart since he ascended and the next thing he knows is that he’s already in front of his manor. He didn’t know maybe it’s the only dark-looking palace out of all the golden ones who stood proudly in the heavenly capital or what… but he found his way knocking into his door in the middle of the night.
“What are you doing here?” The person with inky hair and possessing a beautiful pair of golden eyes welcomed him, his forehead creased.
Shi Qingxuan was familiar with the almost permanent scowl on his face and those sharp golden eyes that seem to drown you when you stare for too long.
What am I doing here? Shi Qingxuan wanted to ask himself that too. He has many friends, almost everyone in the Heavens are on good terms with him whenever he’s giving away thousands of merits but strangely, on rare times like this, he feels...alone. And what’s stranger is that… he felt like the person in front of him, whom he just met a few days ago when he first ascended, eating at the corner like it’s the sole reason why he attended his banquet, would be the best companion on times like this.
Shi Qingxuan rubbed the back of his neck before he laughed awkwardly. “Do you… do you perhaps have some free space in your palace tonight?”
The other scrutinized him, Shi Qingxuan praying hard the other won’t notice his red, swollen eyes from crying too much. He let out a sigh, he didn’t say a word but he stepped to the side, prompting Shi Qingxuan to step inside.
The palace is cold, shivers creeping on his thin, green robes he chose to wear today. The owner of the place closed the door then went back to some sort of a table with four nameless tablets surrounded with offerings, incense lit up being the only source of light to the cold palace.
A god making offerings. He really is strange as what the other gods had told him. Shi Qingxuan scolded them for saying that. If anything, there’s something about this person that makes him want to take care of him, to get to know him better… He didn’t know why he felt like he’s seeing a part of him in that golden pair of eyes that he couldn’t seem to point out.
Shi Qingxuan settled on the floor, pulling his knees to his chest as he recalled the argument he had with his brother.
There’s silence separating him and the owner of this palace but it’s not the uncomfortable type of silence.
“I fought with my brother.” Shi Qingxuan finally blurted out. He sensed the other’s eyes on him but he didn’t get any response so he continued. “I know even families argue and all. And I know all he wants is just the best for me but you know, it gets suffocating sometimes.”
He didn’t notice tears were already streaming down his face again. “I just want to make decisions for myself. I just want him to know that I can do things on my own too. I just want him to trust me…”
Shi Qingxuan wrapped his arms tightly around himself, hoping to lessen the coldness. When he realized he just bawled his eyes out in front of someone he barely knew, he wiped his tears then tried to let out a laugh. “I’m sorry I have to barge in here in the middle of the night. It’s just that… your palace looks solitary and as sad as I am—” He bit his lower lip. Shi Qingxuan and his big mouth. “Oh, not that I’m saying it looks dark and cold and sad but you know hahahaha.”
Having someone listen to his rant made him feel better. Shi Qingxuan raised his eyes to look at the other and maybe, repay his kindness by letting him in tonight. He caught the other staring at him too but when their eyes met, he switched back to that cold-looking heavenly official everyone didn’t want to befriend. Shi Qingxuan laughed. What a tsundere.
“Don’t you have a heating system here? Don’t you have enough merits, do you want me to—” He didn’t get to finish what he’s going to say when a blanket was thrown at him.
“Deal with it yourself,” the other said as he went into another room, leaving Shi Qingxuan smiling for the first time that night.
This place may be cold but there’s warmth somewhere and Shi Qingxuan might not understand where it came from but there’s one thing he’s sure of.
That night, he made a new friend.
Shi Qingxuan remembers it all too well.
🍗🍃🍗🍃
“Autumn leaves falling down like pieces into place
And I can picture it after all these days…”
Shi Qingxuan remembers it all too well.
The first time he convinced him to transform into their female form. It took him weeks before Ming Yi let him agree with it. Shi Qingxuan bribed him with years worth of food. Food is really his weakness. (It’s what he used too to have Ming Yi agree with Shi Qingxuan calling him Ming-xiong!)
“Why are you making me wear this?” Ming Yi asked, her brows furrowed, ears red as she scowled at the girl in flowy green robes in front of her, sleeves resembling that of a fairy.
Shi Qingxuan giggled. She smiled at the other, proud of herself for choosing this set of robes for her friend. The fabric hugs Ming Yi’s slender female form, perfectly showing her curves. She eyed the boob window and Shi Qingxuan couldn’t help but laugh again. “Why are you complaining? It suits you well, Ming-xiong! Ooops— should I call you, Ming-jie now?”
It earned another sharp glare from the other who just huffed and was already walking out of Shi Qingxuan’s room.
“Ming-jie! Wait up! Don’t forget your cloak! It’s fall now, I don’t want you to get cold!”
Well, Shi Qingxuan was the one who caught the flu. Even gods catch colds but Shi Qingxuan has this stupid smile on his face as he let Ming Yi take care of him.
“Stop smiling or I’m gonna punch you. I thought your female form is stronger? How can the Wind Master catch a cold? You’re impossible.” Ming Yi rolled his eyes, as he dipped the towel in the cold water and then put it back on Shi Qingxuan’s forehead.
“I don’t know, okay? Maybe there’s some problem with my godhood? Ming-xiong, what if my ascension is fake?” Shi Qingxuan cried out dramatically.
“You’re so dramatic, I can’t believe I’m doing this.”
Shi Qingxuan gazed out of the window of Ming Yi’s palace. There are no seasons in heaven. The sky is closer and within reach yet Shi Qingxuan longed for the seasons… the different colors and feelings associated with each of them.
“Ming-xiong, can you bring autumn here in heaven?” Shi Qingxuan said, a faint smile painted on his lips. He felt Ming Yi tensed with his request. “Why do you look shocked? Isn’t it under your powers? You’re the Earth Master after all.”
“Stop fooling around and get some sleep. I don’t want your brother barging here again. I’m tired of your family dramas.”
Shi Qingxuan knew Ming Yi didn’t mean that. The latter has always been the only one there for him whenever he and his brother get into an argument.
The next thing he knew, he dozed off. When he woke up, he felt the towel still on his forehead. His fever already subsided. He looked around him and found no signs of Ming Yi. When he shifted his eyes outside the window, his eyes widened at the sight of falling brown leaves. Strange. He’s still in Heavenly capital, right?
Shi Qingxuan ran outside and found Ming Yi on the roof of his palace, holding a fan while sprinkling the dried autumn leaves down, creating that autumn effect. Shi Qingxuan couldn’t help but laugh. “Ming-xiong, what are you doing?”
Ming Yi almost fell hearing Shi Qingxuan’s voice, his ears red as he pushed away the fan and the leaves away from him as if it would be able to hide what he’s been doing all along then he hopped down in front of Shi Qingxuan. “I’m—I’m cleaning my roof. There’s so many stupid leaves here. I-I want them gone.”
Shi Qingxuan just nodded. “Ah,” he said, sounding unconvinced. “Since when did we have these autumn leaves in heaven?”
Ming Yi’s ears turned redder, “Shut up, okay? I just– I just want you to feel better so you won’t bother me again, idiot—” He didn’t get to finish what he’s about to say when Shi Qingxuan pulled him into a hug.
“I feel better now. Thank you, Ming-xiong.”
The way Shi Qingxuan foolishly wished he fell sick like this in the future again just so he could have Ming Yi take care of him like this...
Shi Qingxuan remembers it all too well.
🍗🍃🍗🍃
“Wind in my hair, I was there
I remember it all too well…”
Shi Qingxuan remembers it all too well.
The first time he questioned the heavens… the time he asked himself if gods are really worthy of the admiration and respect they get from their believers.
There were so many things happening at the Heavenly Court, he felt suffocated and overwhelmed. After taking Pei Su back to the Upper Court, he dragged Ming Yi back to the mortal realm to drink. Looking back to everything that happened today, something crossed Shi Qingxuan’s mind.
“Ming-xiong, have you ever thought about your life if you didn’t ascend as a god?”
The question made Ming Yi stiffen. It has always been like that. Shi Qingxuan didn’t know why the Earth Master always seemed to dodge questions like this. It’s not like he ascended illegally. His ascension is something talked about in all of heaven. He may not be in the Four Great Tales but whenever Shi Qingxuan recalls the tale of the Earth Master’s ascension, he couldn’t help but feel in awe.
He expected the other to not reply just like he always does, so imagine the surprise look on his face when Ming Yi answered his question.
“Maybe I’m a scholar or someone’s husband.” Ming Yi was looking far away, at the streets where a family of four was happily strolling. There’s gloom in his eyes that Shi Qingxuan found unfamiliar. He has always been cold but the sadness in his eyes this time… feels different with such depth. Maybe Ming Yi sensed Qingxuan’s gaze on him so he shifted back to his usual cold demeanor then added, “Maybe I won’t have someone annoying drag me everywhere he goes.”
Shi Qingxuan felt a pang in his chest because of that. Not wanting to dwell on the thought of probably not meeting Ming Yi if ever he didn’t ascend, he answered his own question. “As for me, I think I’ll just be a wealthy merchant who helps the poor. Or maybe I’ll be a scholar’s friend,” He said the last sentence excitedly and Ming Yi rolled his eyes.
“The wealthy ones don’t help the poor.”
Shi Qingxuan shook his head. “I will definitely do that if I am one. I mean, being a god is not the only way to help the needy, right?”
Ming Yi didn’t reply to that but Shi Qingxuan could sense the other’s eyes trained on him.
“Ming-xiong, have you ever wanted to run away from something?”
The other’s hand paused midway from drinking the wine Shi Qingxuan served him. He avoided Qingxuan’s eyes and gazed on the streets again.
Shi Qingxuan followed his gaze and this time, the family of four was long gone. The night street was full of people even if the sun was long gone. He tried to find where Ming Yi’s eyes were trained and found two guys on the side of the street bickering with each other. One of them was wearing white, and the other was in black with a long red ribbon tying his long black hair. They looked like they were arguing over a jar of wine.
Once again, Ming Yi ignored his question. He was about to answer his own question when the person in front of him said, “Sometimes.”
This answer surprised Shi Qingxuan. He was always with Ming Yi but the latter never really talked to him about things . It’s always Shi Qingxuan telling him his worries, his rants, everything… In his defense, he didn’t want to force Ming Yi to open up to him when he’s not comfortable.
Just like now, there’s really something Ming Yi wasn’t not telling him. They look at each other for a while. Ming Yi’s eyes held something Shi Qingxuan couldn’t decipher before the Earth Master finally broke the staring contest and drank his wine in one go.
He doesn’t want to talk about it, Shi Qingxuan thought.
To not make it awkward, Qingxuan sipped on his wine and answered his own question again. “You know how I’ve always been the great Wind Master, right?” Qingxuan started with a joke and Ming Yi snorted at him. “I know you’ll disagree but whatever, Ming-xiong. I’m still the sweet sixteen Wind Master everybody loves,” he said. Sighing, he continued, “I have temples everywhere and I have so many believers but sometimes you know… just like now… I think to myself, are we really worth it?”
Shi Qingxuan has always been confident in himself. Even the great martial gods don’t have a say when he argues with them in the Upper Court. No one dare mess with him, and he’s also not afraid to speak his mind as long as he knows he’s in the right. Even today, he assured Xie Lian he doesn’t have to worry about him being biased on Pei Su’s trial.
However, the look of doubt on Xie Lian’s face made him ponder this thought again today. Heavenly officials are supposed to help the people… so what happens if even the heavens neglect what they’re supposed to do? What if it’s actually the people helping the gods? What if all gods did was take their believers for granted?
Seeing Xie Lian earlier, it made him rethink his life choices. The said god just ascended for the third time. With no temples nor believers, he offered help to a dangerous case no one wanted to handle before.
“Aren’t you living the best life as the great Lord Wind Master?” There’s coldness with a layer of sarcasm in the way Ming Yi told him this and again, Shi Qingxuan didn’t know why.
Instead of answering, he straight up chugged the remaining wine on the jar.
Eyes far away, he said, “I think we don’t differ from ghosts, Ming-xiong.”
He could feel Ming Yi’s eyes on him again. This time, he didn’t look back. He didn’t want to drown into that beautiful pair of golden eyes again.
“Ghosts feed on the people’s fear while we feed on what our believers offer us. Why do we depend on merits and offerings? Can’t we just help without asking for anything in return?” Qingxuan felt tipsy. He rested his head on the table, his left cheek feeling the cold surface.
“You’re almost drunk. Let’s get you home before your brother blames me again.” Ming Yi was helping him stand up when he suddenly rose then dragged the other god to another destination.
“You kept me like a secret but I kept you like an oath
Sacred prayer and we’d swear to remember it all too well…”
“What are we doing here?” Ming Yi grumbled as he smoothed his hair that got disheveled when Qingxuan teleported them using his Wind Master fan.
They’re in front of an Earth Master temple. Different from the Wind and Water temple filled with golden ornament, the Earth Master temple was just like its owner — plain, humble. He even scolded Ming Yi once because he seems like he doesn’t care what his followers were doing with his temples. He didn't even bother looking at the face of the god statues built for him.
“God statues should look the best," Qingxuan had told Ming Yi once. “It’s how the mortal realm sees us as gods.”
“So, it’s okay that some of your statues are in female form?” Ming Yi retorted back.
“I told you, I love my female form. It’s my strongest one so why would it be a problem?”
Shi Qingxuan stepped inside then Ming Yi followed after. There were no people inside, given that it’s already a bit late in the evening. A lot of offerings were on the shrine at the foot of the Earth Master's divine statue. Qingxuan noticed Ming Yi diverting his gaze away from the statue. He thought maybe the other was shy.
Qingxuan took an incense and made an offering to the god. He clasped his hands, then closed his eyes to offer a prayer.
“What are you doing?” With his tone, Qingxuan knew that he had his one brow raised at what he’s doing.
“Uhm, praying? What else should I do inside a temple?”
Ming Yi heaved a deep sigh. “You’re drunk now,” he remarked but didn’t stop Shi Qingxuan from doing what he’s doing.
“Lord Earth Master, I pray to be best friends with you for a very long time.” He opened his eyes and turned his head to see Ming Yi looking at him with an unreadable expression on his face. “Ming-xiong! Please do not change. You’re one of the most genuine gods I’ve met in heaven. I pray to the heavens you remain that way.”
Ming Yi broke the staring session again, his brows furrowed. Shi Qingxuan smiled, thinking the other god was embarrassed again.
He walked towards him then cupped Ming Yi’s face with his hands so their eyes could meet.
Shi Qingxuan had always loved those golden eyes… It’s drowning him. Every time he looks at it, he thinks that maybe this is why the tides exist. The ocean is too drawn and in love with the moon so the waves pushed and pulled along like the hopeless romantic that it is, hoping to be closer to the celestial being.
One thing he loves the most about Ming Yi’s face is the fact that it’s littered with moles. Like stars scattered filling up the universe making it more beautiful.
He’s beautiful...
Clearing away those thoughts, Shi Qingxuan added, “If ever you find injustices in the future, don’t hesitate to fight them just like today. Even if it includes me.”
Shi Qingxuan remembers it all too well.
The way he was gently laid down on his bed, the way something soft and warm was pressed on his forehead…. The way he heard something soft being whispered in his ear.
“Shi Qingxuan, you’re making this harder for me.”
Shi Qingxuan remembers it all too well.
🍗🍃🍗🍃
“Well maybe we got lost in translation, maybe I asked for too much
But maybe this thing was a masterpiece ‘til you tore it all up…”
Shi Qingxuan remembers it all too well.
The way the past days seem like they all flew by like a blur. The way he was stripped of everything just like that. The way his whole world came crashing down. The way the whole universe colluded and deemed it would be the best way to slap him with the truth.
He thought he knew everything, but turns out he’s just some clueless fool living a life that’s meant for another.
That someone being the person in front of him. Same inky black hair this time as ravaging as the sea… Same black robes this time he knew he was truly mourning… He was mourning for his life and the people around him taken away from him because of someone’s selfish whims. Same golden pair of eyes he fell in love with but now… looking at him full of hatred and contempt.
Shi Qingxuan didn’t know what hurt the most at that very moment. Everything hurts, it was starting to numb his whole body. His hands were tied and he was surrounded by these madmen yet his eyes were trained on the two persons in front of him.
What hurts the most? Is it knowing that your whole life, your whole fate was someone else’s? Or knowing that the person you grew to love… the person you fell in love with… be the same person your fate belongs to.
He wanted to scream, but no voice was coming out.
He wanted to stand up but his legs looked as if it forgot they were his legs not too long ago already.
He wanted to beg but he knew nothing could calm down the ravaging sea that is this person’s heart.
He wanted for everything to stop… to wake up from this nightmare but he knows this is the truth. This is reality. This person’s misery was because of him. It was all his fault… This damn wretched fate started because of him.
Gathering the last ounce of strength he has in him, he tried to find his voice again. Up until the end, he must do something. If he could offer himself just to save his brother, he would do it. This is his fault anyways.
Surprisingly, when he opened his mouth, his voice finally came out. His whole body trembling, tears flowing nonstop from his face, he addressed the person in front of him to dare ask for mercy… even if he knew they didn't deserve it.
“MING-XIONG! MING-XIONG! I’M SORRY, I’M SORRY I’M SORRY I’M SORRY I’M SORRY I’M SORRY I’M SORRY! WE’RE THE ONES WHO SINNED! WE’RE THE ONES WHO ARE WRONG. IT’S MY FAULT! MY BROTHER ONLY DID WHAT HE DID BECAUSE OF ME. MY BROTHER’S GONE MAD, HE’S CRAZY CAN’T YOU SEE! I…YOU…YOU…”
At that moment, the person in front of him turned his gaze on him. They stared at each other and Shi Qingxuan’s heart broke into millions of pieces looking at that pair of golden eyes. Too familiar… yet belonged to someone a total stranger to him. Too familiar… Yet it belonged to someone whose name and fortune he stole and caused misery in this lifetime.
The person stopped torturing his brother and Shi Qingxuan thought he saw a tiny ray of hope. He thought maybe this person thought of everything they’ve been through. Maybe… not everything is a lie. Maybe there’s some layers of truth hidden beneath it…
Maybe…
Not until those golden eyes turned away from him. With his cold, cruel voice, he said, “You’ve called the wrong person.”
Everything happened too fast. The next thing Shi Qingxuan knew, a lifeless headless body was on the floor, blood pooling everywhere and Shi Qingxuan couldn’t do anything but scream… He screamed like crazy, filling the whole Nether Water manor with his shattered voice.
“I’m a crumpled piece of paper lying here ‘cause I remember it all, all, all…”
Shi Qingxuan shouted for god knows how long until all the strength left in him vanished and he was almost a lifeless heap on the floor staring at nothing, feeling nothing… How did everything turn into this…
Eyes dead, he opened his cracked lips to say the last thing he wanted after everything that happened.
“I want to die…”
Voice as cold as ice, the person in front of him answered cruelly, “Dream on.”
Those were the last words he heard before Shi Qingxuan collapsed and he didn’t know what happened after but the moment he woke up, he found himself lying with the beggars at the imperial capital.
Shi Qingxuan remembers it all too well.
🍗🍃🍗🍃
“Time won’t fly, it’s like I’m paralyzed by it
I’d like to be my old self again, but I’m still trying to find it…”
Shi Qingxuan remembers it all too well.
The way he grew accustomed to this way of living. Far from the glorious Wind Master he once has been, now he lives on a cold, hard, floor. Flowy, beautiful robes turned into worn out rags with ugly desperate stitches just so it could wrap around his body to at least lessen the cold seeping through his bones. His temple that was once filled with offerings has now turned into an empty stomach for three days. Instead of prayers, what could be heard now were grumbling of stomach or complaints from his companions of being cold and sick… Of how the gods had forsaken and forgotten about them just because they can’t give them anything.
Shi Qingxuan, despite having a broken arm and leg, did all that he could do to lead his little pack of beggars to find their food. As he had said before, one doesn’t need to be a god to help the needy. He might become nothing after everything that happened. He might have lost all his believers, his spiritual power, his wealth, his title, his godhood… his everything, but he still has one of his hands and one of his legs and that didn’t stop him from helping those in need.
Shi Qingxuan lived well as a mortal. From time to time, he’d think of his brother. He’d mumble a short prayer for the person who took care of him all his life, the only family that he had. He also prayed that his brother’s sins be forgiven and that his soul would finally rest in peace.
Sometimes, he misses his old self. However, is it really his in the first place? He was trying to find himself but all he was reminded of was the fact that he was living a life that was never meant to be his. His whole fate was robbed from the person he so shamelessly loved without even knowing the pain and misery he had caused him all his life.
In the end, he always comes to the conclusion. It’s not the luxury nor the privilege he once had that he misses. It’s the company he had once upon a time… Those lingering stares, those words left unsaid. Even if those are just illusions, Shi Qingxuan couldn’t deny the fact that those are times he was the happiest.
Sometimes, he’d think of him … and that pair of golden eyes. Ghosts that finally fulfilled their grudge were said to disappear and be long gone. Did he perhaps—
Shi Qingxuan shook his head at the thought.
No, that can’t be…
You’re still there, right?
Sometimes, he’d hate himself. He’d hate himself for falling for the person who took the life of his brother. He’d hate himself for falling for the person whose fate he had stolen… whose misery he caused… whose life he ruined. Sometimes he’d hate himself for even thinking about him. No, he doesn’t deserve to even think about him nor their memories together. Definitely not.
He hated himself for shamelessly giving his whole heart to the person whose life he had stolen… How fucking ironic.
Being in this situation is not at all bad. It makes him distracted from feeling all different kinds of emotions, from going back to that day, from thinking about him…
But as they say, a mortal’s life is too short.
“You know, when I was in my glory days, I always had my fan with me. I already told you I was once a god, right? I am the most beautiful god you’d ever seen.”
“We already know that Ol’ Feng. Please, don’t talk any more. Let’s wait for help. You’ll be okay.” Surrounding him were the other beggars who became his family ever since he was dropped here. Far from the pretentious gods that declared themselves his friends whenever he gave away merits before, these people treated him better in a way that they would always be by his side even if he could offer nothing now as a mortal.
“My temples are one of the richest too. I always rank in the Top 10 during the Mid-Autumn Festival—” Shi Qingxuan clutched his heart, his face contorted in pain.
“Ol’ Feng!”
Shi Qingxuan gathered all his last strength. A mortal’s life is too short. However, his body was too exhausted, too tired… He knew the end was near.
Yet, in his little remaining time, his mind was filled with the thought of those beautiful golden eyes again. Maybe… maybe… he’s allowed to think of him before he leaves.
Or if fate decided to give him one last parting gift, maybe he’d let him see him. And maybe… he could do the thing he’s been wanting to do since they parted. That person’s last words are still engraved in the deepest part of his heart.
Shi Qingxuan blinked and tears streamed down his face, blurring his vision more.
“Even after everything, I would dare say I miss you…”
In his delirious state, he felt a cold breeze hug his figure. It was familiar… that coldness. That coldness seeping through your bones yet it has this underlying warmth beneath it. Before he closed his eyes, he could see black, flowy robes above him, golden eyes staring right through his soul.
“And then you wondered where it went to as I reached for you
But all I felt was shame and you held my lifeless frame…”
Qingxuan could see how the other has started to turn transparent, his figure slowly dissipating as if in sync to the way his breathing was starting to be harder and harder to catch.
They were not saying any words. What could be said after everything that happened? What could be said between them to mend both of their broken hearts? It’s not like any thank yous nor sorrys could fix anything.
Qingxuan thought of that name that’s too familiar in his lips. That name whom he called at least a hundred times back on the day. Then he shook his head.
With a smile on his face, cheeks still stained with tears, he gathered all the last pinch of strength left in him to say another word.
“...He Xuan.”
Shi Qingxuan remembers it all too well.
The way this person’s lips finally curved into that kind smile he had seen only once or twice when they were together, mixed with tears streaming down from his beautiful golden eyes.
Shi Qingxuan reached out his hand, watching the other’s figure become barely an illusion as they stared into each other’s eyes and said their silent goodbye.
Shi Qingxuan remembers it all too well. The way he whispered a silent prayer before everything turned pitch black.
“I pray we meet again.”
🍗🍃🍗🍃
“Just between us, do you remember it all too well?
Just between us, I remember it all too well…”
Shi Qingxuan fluttered his eyes open. It was the same dream he had dreamt of for god knows how many times already. Sitting up, he could feel something wet staining his cheeks. He was crying again.
It was happy tears. At least, even in dreams they could meet again.
Shi Qingxuan looked around and the world has been different since his first lifetime. He was in his last lifetime and they still hadn’t met.
Yes, he remembers it all.
When he was asked if he would like to drink the soup of oblivion, he wholeheartedly said no. He deserves to remember everything. All the good memories, all the pain… him.
Consider it as my punishment, he thought. At least even if they don’t get to meet again, in his heart, he could always look back at all those times he had with him.
His phone rang and he quickly answered it when he saw the contact name.
“Jie—”
“Why aren’t you here yet? I told you we’re going to meet with your new colleagues, right?”
Oh, shoot. Qingxuan immediately got off his bed and started doing his morning routine. He almost forgot how this lifetime is kinda one of the closest to his first lifetime. Well, in some ways these two lifetimes were too different yet too close from one another.
“I told you to stick to your sleeping schedule and you won’t listen to me. Wait— you had a nightmare again? Do you want me to book a therapy session for you? Let’s stop that bastard from coming into your dreams again—”
Qingxuan laughed. “Jie, can you please calm down? You sound like my brother.”
“Shut up, you don’t have a brother.”
He could imagine her rolling her eyes and a smile tugged on his lips again. If Shi Wudu was reincarnated, maybe he was reincarnated in the form of his manager jiejie.
After some more naggings from his manager, he was finally able to dress up and go to his company building to meet new labelmates.
With a huge smile on his face, he opened the door and greeted everyone inside like the true breeze that he is.
There were new faces inside already. Interacting with new people isn’t new to him. Just like the wind, it’s something he’s so good in doing. Not even ten minutes later, he already followed everyone on their Weibo account.
“Oh, another newbie!” The person he was currently talking to exclaimed as he heard the door of the room open and close again.
His back was facing the door so when he turned around to greet the newcomer, he could feel his heart beat erratically inside his chest.
Inky black hair, dark suit, constellation of moles on his face… beautiful golden pair of eyes. Everything is the same but there’s something new.
That smile on his lips as his eyes roamed around the room greeting everyone. Until it landed and locked on Shi Qingxuan.
He didn’t even realize when his manager had pulled him in front of the newcomer. But the next thing he knew, he was shaking hands with the other. That familiar coldness yet underlying warmth is there…
“Huasen, meet Xuning. He’s one of your new labelmates.”
Shi Qingxuan almost forgot his name in this lifetime was different. How could he forget that of course, if ever that person was reincarnated too, his would be different too.
Yet, the familiarity is there…
“Oh! You are of the same age! And your birthdays are both in September too. It’s fate!”
Gathering all his will not to cry in front of him, he took a deep breath and said, “It—It was nice meeting you.”
They stared at each other for too long. It was like that cliche line from the scripts he practices every time he auditions but it really felt like everything stopped.
This person in front of him… Maybe, he didn’t recognize me. Maybe… he’s the only one who remembers it all too well… And that’s okay. As long as he recognized him first… as long as he remembers...
As long as Shi Qingxuan remembers it all too well.
“Sacred prayer, I was there, I was there
It was rare, you remember it…”
His breathing stopped when this person suddenly pulled him into a hug.
“We finally meet again.”
They both remember it all too well.