Chapter Text
“Ah! My arms have gone! I haven’t got arms!”
The Doctor, in a much higher voice than before, exclaims in shock at the apparent lack of arms. He squints, flaps his arms, and realizes his sleeves are just extraordinarily long. His arms are fine, thank goodness. Although, it’s quite hard to walk when his shoes are four sizes too big and the suit makes him feel hotter than the Sun. He must be the size of a Sontaran. It’s then when he assesses his surroundings – the TARDIS is on fire. “Oh! Oh dear.” He frantically tries to maneuver in the oversized suit and shoes, pulling levers and pushing buttons. The Doctor sees where he’s headed and sighs. “Of course I’m about to crash right into Earth!” Desperately trying to steer and avoid any casualties, the TARDIS sputters and hits the ground. The Doctor climbs out of his ship, which quite literally shuts him out while it repairs. It’s dark out, so he and his ship could probably repair undetected for a few hours. He smells grass as he crawls over to a large tree, collapsing under it with a mutter of, “Oh, I guess I’m in the woods.”
When he wakes, his TARDIS is just as he left it, and he wanders out of the woods until he reaches a street corner. “Huh, that’s odd. Didn’t seem very far. Eh, oh well, maybe my sense of direction is off. Still cooking.” The Doctor shuffles down what looks to be the middle of London until he finds a department store. He ought to get himself some new clothes. Whatever happened to him during regeneration gave him long hair and a very tiny body. At first he thought he adopted the body of a young John Lennon. He steps into the store slowly and widens his eyes at all of the choices. “Hm... who will I be this time?” He mutters to himself as he gently paws at a leather jacket. He walks past a mirror and glances into it, unfazed until a few seconds later. He steps backwards and widens his eyes.
The Doctor, now on his eleventh regeneration, is surprised to look in the mirror and see a short, brunette, feminine body hiding underneath the suit his former self was wearing. He supposes he may as well start using female pronouns, all things considered, and complains mostly about the difference in height from his last regeneration. In a few different tones of voice, the Doctor tests out some third person phrases. “That’s the Doctor; she’s an alien from outer space. She’s the Doctor, that’s her sonic screwdriver. Ah!” The Doctor pulls out her screwdriver from her pocket and frowns. It looks damaged, probably from the crash. She’ll fix it eventually. The Doctor, donning her very oversized suit and shoes, approaches an employee with the silent request of needing something to wear.
She tries on nearly a dozen different combinations to match her height and undiscovered taste, and doesn’t know exactly what she’s going for, considering she doesn’t even know who she is yet. Finally, the Doctor finds a section of suits, suspenders, tweed jackets, blouses, and bow ties she definitely loves. “Bow ties are cool,” she says to the seemingly disapproving department store employee. She also picks up some twenty-first century jackets, jeans, dresses, and t-shirts, just for kicks – the petite Oxford shoes and flowing dresses seemed very impractical for all the running she did, but damn, she couldn’t deny they were nice looking and comfortable, at least.
With a wave of her hand, she exits the store and looks around curiously. Who am I? She thinks to herself. She watches as London walks, hurries about, like the world is ending… again. She sighs and heads back against the flow of foot traffic towards where she thinks she parked, er, crashed the TARDIS. Poor thing is still remodeling, fixing herself up. Soon enough the Doctor will have her up and running again. After running around the universe bidding farewell to all of her companions, she realizes it’s probably still a terrible idea to be traveling alone. She hears her screwdriver buzz in what could only be annoyance and continues marching on. “I’ll have a new one eventually,” she reminds herself. “I should have gotten the extended upgrade package.” The Doctor whistles as she continues to search for her TARDIS, outright sniffing for trouble and possibly a new partner in… well, not crime, exactly.
After only a few minutes strolling through London, a man outright shoves past her, almost knocking bags from her grip, and she flips around immediately. “Oi, you, watch your step! Ooh, I’m feisty now, alright. I could do feisty,” and in a deeper voice, “I’m feisty. Ooh, no, I’ll just stick to the voice I’ve been dealt, no use trying to change it now.” Without even realizing, the man who walked past her had stopped and was staring at her like she was some kind of Dalek. She puts together he’d just witnessed her having a conversation with herself about herself, and furrows her eyebrows. “Right, well, sorry about that. Best be going.” The Doctor turns away from the man and begins to walk away when he speaks up.
“Why are you headed into town? Haven’t you heard, it’s being evacuated?” The Doctor spins and smiles.
“Well, now, that’s interesting. Central London being evacuated on a,” The Doctor sticks her tongue out briefly, “Saturday afternoon? That’s a hassle. Do you happen to know why?”
“Er, no, miss,” That’s new. Miss. Doesn’t quite fit, though. She’s much more than just a Miss. Not that Misses are anything terrible, of course. “There are soldiers evacuating people. It probably has something to do with the um, with the meteor that hit in the park last night.”
“A meteor in the park? That’s just what I was looking for.” The Doctor frowns at the amount of bags she’s carrying, but she can handle it ‘til she makes it towards the TARDIS. Plus, she must be close, she didn’t walk that far. She begins to skip towards disaster and turns her head back momentarily. “Aren’t you coming?”
“Coming? The military is ordering us out of town!” The man responds, pushing his circle glasses up his nose.
“Like I said. Just what I was looking for. Coming?”
The man follows her almost reluctantly but has a small smile as they head towards the cause of commotion, hiding in alleys and behind parked cars. They finally reach Hyde Park, where smoke is billowing through trees. A good area of the park is fenced off, and there are soldiers and tanks and guns everywhere.
“Ah, I love a good fence. Could do without all the guns, though.” The Doctor gently sets her shopping bags on the concrete and fiddles with her screwdriver. She wants to scan for alien tech but it isn’t exactly working as best as she’d hope. It could only tell the weather, incorrectly.
“Who are you?” The man pipes up.
The Doctor raises her eyebrows. “Don’t know.”
“What do you mean, you don’t know? Haven’t you got a name?”
“’Course I’ve got a name. Don’t be daft.”
“I’m Levi. Levi Page, and you are?”
“’Levi Page’, that’s a good name, Lee-vi. I’m the Doctor.”
“The Doctor? Doctor who?”
“Just the Doctor – could you ask me that question again?”
“’Doctor who?’”
“Yes, that one.”
“… Doctor who?”
“Oh, I do love it when they say that.” The Doctor smirks and reaches into her pocket, brushing off the binding of the psychic paper.
The Doctor picks up her shopping bags and saunters to the guarded entrance to the park. About ten soldiers all point their rifles at her and Levi, who ducks behind her. She holds up her psychic paper and the guy in charge immediately signals the others to lower their weapons.
“General Kenobi, we had no idea UNIT was sending you.”
“Ah, that’s alright, lad,” The Doctor drawls out a Scottish accent. “Well! That’s interesting! I’m multi…er… multi-accentual?” The Doctor nods and quirks her head towards Levi. “He’s with me.” The soldier opens the gate and lets them through. They follow the trail of smoke to a rather large opening where a couple of benches were broken. The Doctor widens her eyes in shock and clears her throat. “Oh. Lovely.”
In front of her, a few actual UNIT troops have an armed circle of defense around her TARDIS. The meteor was her TARDIS, and she wasn’t actually in the woods, she was just in the park. “That explains quite a bit. Oi, you lot, be careful with her, she’s busy!”
“Excuse me?” One troop said. “Who’s busy?”
“My ship! She’s repairing herself after my dreadful landing here.”
“Your ship?” Another troop pipes up. “Ma’am, I’m going to have to ask you to step back.” The Doctor holds her head high but as the troop steps forwards, he trips on a rock and his rifle hits the ground, somehow managing to fire a bullet directly into her chest.
Levi yells and the Doctor exclaims a shout of pain that turns into a rather unpleasant laugh as the bullet is pushed from her skin and her body repairs itself. She cracks her neck and wiggles her arms, shaking the golden regeneration remains off gently. “Whoooo! I’m still hot!” The soldiers look surprised and in awe as the Doctor straightens herself out. “Yep, it’s me! Now, please,” she steps past them and rests a gently hand on the TARDIS, “Let her rest. Go on, shoo!” The Doctor creaks open the door and is met with a face full of steam and smoke, but she sets the bags in there carefully, patting the exterior. “Don’t let those burn up, Old Girl.” The TARDIS hums and abruptly shuts the doors. “Alright, alright, I get it; you need privacy, no need to shout.”
The Doctor leans against the wall of the TARDIS and remembers Levi is still with her. She smiles and scratches her head. They have a silent conversation as Levi ponders what the hell just happened and paces back and forth for a few moments. Guess there was no real trouble, she thinks to herself. Just me and my box.
“How did you even get us past the gate?” Levi finally asks. The Doctor holds up the paper and tosses it to him.
“Psychic paper. It makes you see whatever you want to see. They were expecting someone big and important to want to get in, so they saw me as a General. General Kenobi, or whoever that would be.”
“General Kenobi – From Star Wars.”
“Ah, never did get into those movies. A bit too mild for my taste. Mark Hamill, though, boy, he’s quite loose when he drinks. Got up on the table and everything.”
“Excuse me?” The Doctor raises her eyebrows as Levi studies the psychic paper. He tosses it back and she slips it into her pocket. “You said this was your… your ship? As in spaceship?”
“Yep.”
“Are you an alien?”
“Yep.”
“You don’t look alien.”
“My word, have I got to do the speech every time with you lot? I’m the Doctor, I’m an alien from outer space, I’ve got two hearts, and I would really like to get a soda. Or… a rotisserie chicken. Hm, no, maybe strawberries?”
“So, you’re hungry, then?” Levi asks. “What would you like? We could get something to eat while your, er, ship repairs.”
“I don’t know.”
“I’m sorry?”
“I don’t know what I’d like. I have no idea, actually. New tongue. New tastes.”
“Ah.”
“You’re being rather cool about this, let’s see, have you ever met another alien from outer space with two hearts who lives in a blue police box? Ooh! That was… sassy! Bit Donna Noble.” The Doctor grins sadly and glances into the sky, knowing she’s happy, somewhere, with a job and a husband. She quickly snaps herself back to reality and sighs. “Well, can’t wait around here all day. There’s bound to be something to do around here.” The Doctor skips off a few paces and this time, instead of turning around, just stops. “You coming, Levi Page?” When she hears footsteps behind her, she holds out her hand and not to her surprise, he takes it. She looks up at him happily, the height difference astounding, and heads away from the park, into the nearly empty streets of London.
“Off we go, then. The gentleman and the scoundrel.” The Doctor says.
“You’re the scoundrel, I take it?” Levi asks.
“Oh, you catch on quick. I’m going to have to keep you.”